Directed by: Robert Clouse
Starring: Kurt Thomas, Richard Norton, Tetchie Agbayani, Buck Kartalian, Conan Lee, and John Barrett
More like GEMkata! Here’s an excellent example of something that only could have happened in the 80’s - further proof that the 80’s rule!
When the U.S. government singles out the tiny European country of Parmistan for a secret site needed for the nuclear secrets of the Star Wars program, they think all will go smoothly. Instead, the throwbacks of this country have a yearly Most Dangerous Game-like game called...well...The Game. The Feds need someone who can infiltrate the country and not just set up the Nuke sites, but actually WIN The Game as well. So naturally they pick the only man on earth suited for the job: an Olympic gymnast named Jonathan Cabot (Thomas)!
Adding to his Olympic skills, he is trained in the fighting arts by a number of trainers. But it’s going to take all his skill and cunning to beat the sinister Zamir (Norton), the leader of The Game and a ruthless assassin. Jonathan also must protect The Princess Rubali (Agbayani of Norton vehicle Deathfight fame) from Zamir, who is going to marry her in a royal ceremony without her permission. It’s all spearheaded by The Khan of Parmistan (isn’t that a kind of cheese?) (the great Buck Kartalian). Can Jonathan Cabot flip, flop and fly to freedom?
It’s pretty easy math to do: Gymnastics + Karate = GYMKATA! (Presumably the writers felt “gymkarate” didn’t leave much to the imagination). It’s such a great idea. We’re happy it was actually made. What’s hilarious about this newfangled fighting style, and the way Kurt Thomas executes it, is that there are so many unnecessary moves. Never mind the fact that there is Olympic gymnastics equipment in the middle of nowhere that just appears. Sure, Kurt Thomas doesn’t have much of a personality, but he’s not annoying, and his sweaters and mullet are cool.
Richard Norton, a Comeuppance Reviews hero, is great as the bearded, rat-tailed Zamir (who we think might be a master of the pan flute). Not only is the overall concept of the movie imaginative and different, it had the power of Warner Brothers behind it, so it actually had something of a budget and distribution.
Just check out the bombastic, awesome score by Alfi Kabiljo. His booming music helps sell the Gymkata concept and paste over some of the dodgier aspects of the plot and acting. We’re glad director Robert Clouse felt the greatness of Gymkata needed a worthy score. Speaking of Clouse, he was probably trying to do with Kurt Thomas what he “did” with Bruce Lee. Do you think it worked?
And we got this far without even mentioning the infamous “Town Of the Crazies”! We spend a lot of time there as viewers, so be ready. It comes complete with what every town should have, a pommel horse in the town square. Will it be used? Also watch out for Punchfighting legend John Barrett as a competitor, and Conan Lee of Armed Response (1986) fame. Not to mention the funny ninjas (the movie was shot in Yugoslavia, so we can only assume they are Yugo-Ninjas, perhaps a cinematic first).
There’s an excellent, inexpensive DVD from WB out there that contains the excellent trailer. You must own it. There’s no excuse for not seeing Gymkata.
Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty
