Capital Punishment (1991)

Capital Punishment (1990)- * * *

Directed by: David Huey

Starring: Gary Daniels, Tadashi Yamashita, Ava Fabian, Ian Jacklin, Linda Lightfoot, Mel Novak, and David Carradine



"Keep The Change"- James Thayer

"Fifty....Fifty"- Blonde Goon






Trust me, you never want to do "Kick". Evidently, Kick is the most addictive drug in Asia. It was originally given to meat farmers (pretty sure that's a thing) to make sure their cows and chickens grow faster and, presumably, meatier. Now Asia is hooked, and one man is poised to bring this scourge to the U.S. of A. His name is Nakata (Yamashita), and he is also a Martial Arts master and he's evil. So the DEA enlists a professional kickboxer to take down the Kick dealers (as you do). James Thayer (Daniels) sports a sweet ponytail and high-waisted jeans, which makes it easier for him to kick people. Which comes in handy when you're battling Kick dealers. See, it all comes together.



With his wife Anna (Fabian) in danger, his kickboxing opponent Lozano (Jacklin) angry, and a potential crimefighting partner named Holt (Lightfoot) trying to catch up, Thayer has yet another problem. It turns out (and this isn't a spoiler; we know this pretty much from the jump) that Nakata is Thayer's sensei and he taught him everything he knows. Isn't that always the way? Will Thayer finally KICK the habit? Find out today!

David Carradine is on the phone. And he wants to talk to you. That's right, Carradine is in Capital Punishment also, as a man named Michael Maltin. Well, "in" is such a relative term. He really does let his fingers do the walking. I haven't seen this much phone shilling since 1-800-COLLECT. 

Anyway, when we first saw that Capital Punishment was directed by David Hue, we thought, "uh oh". After all, that's the guy behind Bloodfight 3 (AKA Karate Wars), which was pretty weak. Well, color us tickled pink, because 'Punishment was a total surprise. Yes, it's very low budget, of course, but it's hilariously funny and entertaining. It couldn't be more different from Karate Wars. It's a winner. Trust us. Ignore any hate you may have read towards this movie online. Anyone with a sense of humor will love it.

The plot is nonsensical, the dialogue is childish, the line deliveries are on par with a middle school play, the reaction shots are priceless, the grunting is plentiful, the incidental characters are colorful, and the fight scenes are gems. It's all very, very, VERY silly. You can't help but love it. There's something infectious about it. The time flies by while you're watching it and it's just so much fun.

The aforementioned fight scenes are almost non-stop. The great and mighty Gary Daniels is continually punching or kicking someone. It rarely lets up. Clearly a lot of time and attention went into these scenes, far more than any of the others. Some notable moments include when Daniels is fighting with two flashlights in a darkened room, and the whole scene in the ice factory. It was interesting to see a younger Gary Daniels kind of feeling his way through things. Obviously better things were to come for him, but this was a nice early role for one of our action idols. 

The whole thing starts in a sort of "Kickboxing Dinner Theatre" where Gary and some other dude - both of whom are wearing shorts that say "Kickboxing USA" on them - are battling it out in front of classy people who are sitting at dinner tables. Not long after that, we're informed that "nine out of ten" children in Asia have birth defects because their parents took Kick. Seems like a lot. Of course, there's a barfight, a warehouse fight, and a Final Rooftop Fight, but there's a fight pretty much everywhere. Further adding to the ridiculous fun, every time something blows up, it's from another movie. Then it ends and a great time was had by all.

We should also add that while the film's alternate title, Kickbox Terminator, is a cool one, it's not related at all to what we see in any way, shape or form. It's not like there's some sort of cybernetic guy in a ring with boxing gloves punching people. Of course, we would watch that if it's ever made.

In the end, we really loved Capital Punishment. You have to really have a heart of stone if you can't get any enjoyment out of it. Yes, visually it has that "junky" look to it but if you can get past that, a diamond in the rough will emerge. Oh, and next time your phone rings, just think...there's a really good chance it may be Michael Maltin.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and DTVC!

Scorpion (2007)

Scorpion (2007)- * * *

Directed by: Julien Seri

Starring: Clovis Cornillac, Francis Renaud, Karole Rocher, Caroline Proust, and Jerome Le Banner

Angelo (Cornillac) was born to fight. Or so he thinks. After a bad break, Angelo hits the skids, becomes semi-homeless and all but loses the will to live. When a shady promoter named Marcus (Renaud) approaches him to revitalize his career, because he recognizes him as an up and coming boxer from years past, Angelo sees that Marcus wants the newest, hottest style in underground fighting - MMA. So Angelo duly shakes off his slovenly ways, does his push-ups and crunches, and trains to get back in the ring. After fighting his way through the standard Boxcar Guillaumes, he is ready to beat the snot out of the heavy hitters.

As you might expect, there are a couple of problems. One involves a woman named Virginie (Rocher). Even though she leads a miserable life as both a prostitute and a bartender under Marcus, Angelo sees her and her young son Milan as a chance for redemption and a new life away from the grueling rigors of underground fighting. At first, Virginie rebuffs him and he's back in his rage-filled ways. But can that change?

The other involves a woman named Lea (Proust), who appears to be a reporter doing a story on underground fighting but, as fate would have it, is a police officer trying to get dirt on Marcus. It doesn't help that underground fighting is illegal in Paris. Naturally, it all comes down to "One Last Fight" - but it's going to be a doozy, with Angelo having to square off against a mighty mountain of meathead named Elias (Le Banner). Will Angelo be able to turn his life around? Will Marcus be held to account for his illegal wheelings and dealings? And what about Virginie and Lea? Will a powerful female influence calm the raging waters of the SCORPION?

"FINISH HIM!!"...is not said in this film, and anyone expecting a biopic on the beloved Mortal Kombat character will be sorely disappointed. However, Scorpion - this Scorpion - is a quality film, and a rare example of an underground fighting movie that's so good, it really doesn't need most of the underground fighting we see on display. Paradoxically, all the fight scenes tend to bring the movie down. Seeing as the film is an unnecessary 98 minutes, they could have cut a lot of the MMA fights because the storyline stands on its own.

Scorpion is an improvement over director Seri's previous film, The Great Challenge (2004), and it shows that he's a true filmmaker in the time-honored French tradition. It seemed that he wanted to temper that "Frenchness" a bit by having an MMA-based storyline, but we say that wasn't needed. We say go with your gut and your traditions - and clearly where Scorpion shines is in its gritty drama, its serious-minded tone, and its high-tier cinematography.

In that sense, Scorpion is a lot like Redbelt (2008) - a high-caliber film all-around that not only doesn't need to lean on extended fight scenes to pad out the running time, but barely needs the fight scenes at all. The plot follows a standard Punchfighting formula we've seen countless times, but the actors carry it off in a way that's much better than usual.

Scorpion is a good film, and it shows that French guys can be tough. Fans of Punchfighters in the MMA vein with an open mind will get the most out of Scorpion.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty