The Peacekeeper (1997)

The Peacekeeper (1997)-* *1\2

Directed by: Frederic Forestier

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Roy Scheider, Michael Sarrazin, and Montel Williams












Air Force Major Frank Cross (Lundgren) is a man who plays by his own rules. He went off on his own to deliver rice to the starving Kurdish people. The brass gives him a choice: a court martial, or carry a suitcase with the nuclear codes in it and have the President, Robert Baker (Roy Scheider) be seen with him in a photo-op. Cross chooses the latter, but some baddies, led by Douglas Murphy (Sarrazin) steal the suitcase. It seems Murphy and president Baker have a history, and Murphy is a disgruntled vet of the first gulf war with a real hatred for Mount Rushmore. 

So, being the loyal soldier that he is, Cross chases the evil suitcase-stealers all over town, dodging countless perils along the way. At some point during his dangerous mission, he meets Lt. Colonel Northrop (Williams). Can the two work together in a race against time before the bad guys blow up the President...and the world?

It seems this Nu-Image production was a very earnest attempt at a less-silly Direct-To-Video product. It appears every attempt was made to make The Peacekeeper "Theater-Quality", even if the filmmakers knew full well that that wasn't gonna happen. I guess they, realistically, weren't going to give that same year's The Peacemaker (1997) - the George Clooney vehicle - a run for the box office bucks. But it matters not, as Lundgren's dry, cool charm is in abundance. Even though a stab at seriousness was certainly made, perhaps the only misstep they made was hiring - of all people - Montel Williams in a rare feature film role. What, were Ricki Lake, Phil Donahue and Jenny Jones busy?

Of course, it's not the first time Dolph Lundgren has starred with a daytime talk show host in a film - everyone remembers The Defender (2004), right? In that one, Jerry Springer is the President. Not Roy Scheider. And of course, there's Citizen Verdict (2003). So there you go. And while you would think Lundgren and Montel would be the ultimate team-up that would zoom you right through any movie, The Peacekeeper is overlong at 98 minutes, is talky at times and has plenty of padding. For example, the plot is, in a nutshell: "Terrorists steal the nuclear suitcase. Dolph wants it back". That's it. Is there any conceivable reason that it should have a running time longer than 80 minutes? And those minutes should have more rock, less talk. 

The Peacekeeper is at its best in its action scenes, not dialogue. It should have stuck more to what it was best at. For instance, there is a building rooftop chase - the kind normally done on foot - but here it's done with cars! We liked that innovation and there is where the film shines.

Yes, The Peacekeeper could have afforded to be a little snappier, but it does end with a freeze frame, highlighting the charm and camaraderie of Dolph Lundgren and Montel Williams. No, that sentence isn't insane, you just have to watch the movie. Or at least the action scenes.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

To purchase the American poster click here

The Protector (1999)

The Protector (1999)-* *

Directed by: Bret McCormick

Starring: Ed Marinaro, Kate Rodger, Cyril O'Reilly, and Lee Majors





"When the Law Fails to Protect and Serve, He Takes Over!"








Following in the vein of the recently-reviewed Keaton's Cop (1988), here we have another "elderly actioner" featuring Lee Majors. Thankfully, here he seems to have lost some weight and the subject matter is somewhat less silly.

Following a ridiculous credits sequence that leads the viewer to believe this is going to be a new Lawnmower Man (1992), we are introduced to one John Templeton (code name: "Gabriel"), (Marinaro), a mercenary of some kind whose beloved wife was killed while he was away on a mission. Thankfully he has a talking computer named Gertrude who helps him through all of his troubles, and pretty soon it's "VR Marinaro" as he dons his Virtual Reality sunglasses which look like, appropriately, those big sunglasses old people wear. In true Robocop (1987) fashion, he revisits, through flashbacks, all the good times he had with his wife. After her murder, Gabriel formed his underground command center to help women in trouble from stalkers and scumbags everywhere. Think "super hero" meets Kick Or Die (1987) meets your grandparents.

Meanwhile, we are introduced to the relationship drama between Alex Johnson (Rodger) and Tony Angeleno (O'Reilly). Typically, at first Tony seems to be a great guy, but it is soon revealed he is an obsessive, psychopathic mobster. Isn't that always the way? So when Tony begins not just harassing Alex himself, but getting his gangster buddies to do his relationship legwork with Alex - and it spins horribly out of control with the senseless murder of Bob Newman (Christopher Heldman) - only one man in an all-green sweatsuit can come to the rescue - John Templeton of course! So "Gabriel" takes Alex under his wing, and as he's hiding her away in his abandoned warehouse/command center, he's also teaching her self-defense, how to shoot guns, and of course, the ways of love.

But a new wrinkle occurs when the gangsters hire Austin (Majors) to bump off Templeton. It seems they have a history together when they both did missions for the government. So now it's gangsters and former work associates vs. The Protector and Alex. Who will prevail?

Not just the front of the VHS box (a New World/Roger Corman release), but also the SPINE of the box (both sides) tout that ED MARINARO is involved. I guess they were really proud of this fact. Perhaps Robert Blake was not available. Not to disparage the man, of course. He acquits himself well in this low-budget and fairly strange movie. He must compete with Cyril O'Reilly as Angeleno, whose voice sounds exactly like Christian Slater's. Close your eyes and you could pretend Slater is the baddie in this movie. But then you'd miss all the "awesome" VR action. When there's a credit at the end of the movie "VR suit provided by Lone Star Scuba", you know you have a low budget production. Yes, the movie was shot in Texas, and yes, the VR suit looks like a scuba suit bedazzled with bottlecaps and twine, but why call undue attention to it?

He also had to compete against Lee Majors, of whom there is precious little in the film. The filmmakers thought it would be wiser to spend most of the running time on Italian stereotype gangsters.

When we watched the horrendous Digital Man (1995), we thought that would be the only time we would ever use the term "Virtual Ninjas". Well, we were pleasantly surprised when said ninjas appeared in The Protector. Now the phrase to beat is "Movie with a talking computer named Gertrude that has Virtual Ninjas and Ed Marinaro." It's not likely to appear as an answer on Jeopardy! anytime soon, sadly.

Thanks to some funny music stings on the soundtrack, homemade inventions like the VR setup and the "handprint" you need to get into the command center (do you honestly think John Templeton would use something as banal as keys?), A mob henchman that looks like Willard Scott (most of the cast looks like they're going to appear on a jar of Smuckers on the Today Show themselves), and a short 80 minute running time, The Protector is tolerable, but won't knock your socks off.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

To purchase the poster click here