Black Cobra (2012)

 

Black Cobra (2012)- * *1\2

Directed by: Scott Donovan 

Starring: T.J. Storm, Michael Chinyamurindi, Jeff Wolfe, Uri Mafate, and Cary Tagawa 

Sizwe Biko (Storm) is just trying to live his South African life in South Africa, when, under the apartheid government, his father Sipho Biko (Chinyamurindi) is imprisoned. Sizwe makes it his mission to free his father, which may seem like a daunting task, but he has some aces up his sleeve. One, he's a master Martial Artist, seemingly taught by his now locked-up dad, Two, he has a cache of diamonds that he can sell in order to bribe the corrupt prison guards into letting his father out, and Three, he also has some American connections to offload the diamonds quickly for cash. So Sizwe heads to Hollywood, where he meets up with some old buddies.




When his diamond-fencing contact, a sleazy producer named Nicholas Dean (Wolfe) betrays Sizwe and his friends, things go bad. Quickly bad. Now the head of the local Yakuza, Goro Tanaka (Tagawa), the local law enforcement, and seemingly everyone else is on Sizwe's tail. To make matters worse, his wife is coming to L.A. to check up on him. Will our hero be able to illegally sell his illegal diamonds? Well, he's doing it for a good reason, and he IS the Black Cobra, after all...


Not to be confused with the classic Fred Williamson series of films, this particular Black Cobra has nothing whatsoever to do with The Hammer. You'd think the makers of quote-unquote "Urban" films would have been familiar with the fact that a Black Cobra already existed. It's hard not to think of Fred, who will always be first in our hearts, but T.J. Storm performs more than admirably. His fish-out-of-water Sizwe character is a decent person and likable enough. Storm gets to display his Martial Arts moves perhaps better than ever before, because this is his only starring role to date.


To get a sense of what we're dealing with here, some comparison films are: Razor Sharpe (2001), The Ultimate Fight (1998), The Ultimate Game (2001) (also with Storm), or No Rules (2005). If you liked any or all of those - i.e. low-budget fight-em-up flicks of faltering fortunes, you will no doubt like Black Cobra as well. However, unlike those aforementioned outings, Black Cobra could reasonably be described as a "Homie Movie". Interestingly, despite the filmmakers' budgetary limitations, they concocted a stew of different genres here: Heist Films, Homie Movies, Martial Arts, Gangster Films, Fish-Out-Of Water dramas, Foreign (African and Japanese languages are spoken at times), and even dashes of Romance and Comedy come into play. One of the group of Sizwe's pals is named Mpho (Mafate). Because that's not a name we are used to hearing, combined with perhaps some audio issues, characters with accents, or just not the greatest enunciation, it sounds like they're calling him "Info" or "Nympho". I guess it's just all part of the crazy fun.


The whole first section of the film (all the parts before Sizwe gets to Hollywood) is edited with these quick fade-outs and flashes that make it all seem like one big trailer. We were worried this was going to last for the entire film, but luckily it doesn't. Pretty soon, fighting characters are yelling, yelling characters are fighting, or characters are shooting guns and yelling.


We're not exactly sure how you would ever see this movie - it's not currently streaming anywhere but it did get an under-the-radar DVD release from Lionsgate - but if you ever do come across it, just remember this: It's Sizwe or the highway.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Acceleration (2019)

 

Acceleration (2019)- * * *

Directed by: Daniel Zirilli and Michael Merino

Starring: Natalie Burn, Dolph Lundgren, Sean Patrick Flannery, Chuck Liddell, Quinton "Rampage Jackson, Sally Kirkland, and Danny Trejo






Vladik (Dolph) is a Los Angeles-based criminal mastermind. He has kidnapped a young tot named Mika (Mashukov) because he wants his mother Rhona (Burn) to run down a laundry list of his criminal enemies and either kill them, get something from them, beat them up, or some other task - all this in one grueling night for Rhona. With her beloved son's life hanging in the balance, Rhona will have to summon all her grit and tenacity as she faces a colorful cast of criminal characters such as mob boss Kane (Flanery), his top goon Hannibal (Liddell), Eli (Jackson), Santos (Trejo), among many others. There's also Richie (London), and sympathetic waitress Betty (Kirkland) - but will Rhona survive the night of her nightmares? More importantly, will Mika? And might there be one final twist in this tale?




We know what you're thinking. You're surprised Vinnie Jones and Bai Ling were not in the cast along with everyone else. Well, we were too, but Acceleration is pretty colorful without them - not just the varied cast of characters but the cinematography as well. There are lots of pinks, purples, greens, and neon hues. All this keeps Acceleration from feeling flat like a lot of its DTV brethren. So we've got to give it credit for that.




The simple, streamlined plot allows for the introduction of new characters one after another, and you don't know what you're going to get. Will it be a fight scene, a shootout, or simply a bit of brief dialogue? You don't actually know, which adds an edge of unpredictability to the proceedings. Natalie Burn puts in a good, tough performance that's easy to like. Comparisons to Gina Carano are perhaps unfair but it's hard for your mind not to go there at times. She's credited as a producer, and with casting, on the film and it's a nice showcase for her talent.




Sean Patrick Flanery plays the seemingly Tommy DeVito-influenced gangster with plenty of verve. If Flanery wasn't available, Tom Sizemore easily could have stepped in. Trejo, Rampage, London, and Kirkland all have cameos. Maybe in the case of Kirkland it's a glorified cameo. But Acceleration centers on Burn, with a secondary emphasis on Dolph, with a lot of Flanery in between. As far as Liddell, at least his voice isn't high-pitched, like certain other people we could name. The kid Mashukov holds his own with Dolph and it's pretty cute to watch. Mika could be the new Bin Bin.




Acceleration gives us some classic action movie cliches, such as characters searching for both a ledger and a disc, someone says "We got company!", and in the Trejo scene, there is dialogue to the effect of "We go way back, you and me". The puzzling thing about Acceleration is, after a stylish opening, and an adherence to maintaining that style throughout, plus an obvious dedication to the action genre, the filmmakers also decided on cringey CGI muzzle flashes for all the gun-shootin' scenes, which looks terrible and comes off looking stupid and lazy. Perhaps it's a minor quibble, but it comes into conflict with the style that the filmmakers have shown a tendency towards.




It was co-directed by the late Daniel Zirilli - who will forever be known as the man who made Phoenix (2023) - and Michael Merino, who also wrote the film. Why this is a co-direct we're not exactly sure, as both men seem quite capable on their own. But Acceleration is kind of a "By the Fans, For the Fans" type of DTV action movie and is more than simply "John Chick", as certain wags out there have labeled it. It's better than a lot of its competitors and, except for those muzzle flashes, appears to be trying to rise above its station, which we very much appreciated.




All wrapping up at a brisk 80 minutes before the credits roll, Acceleration is a solid and entertaining entry into the modern day DTV canon.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!