The Glimmer Man (1996)

The Glimmer Man (1996)- * *1\2

Directed by: John Gray

Starring: Steven Seagal, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Bob Gunton, John M. Jackson, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Brian Cox

Jack Cole (Seagal) is a New York cop and snappy dresser who transfers to L.A. when a serial killer begins terrorizing the city. Known as “The Family Man” because he slaughters the whole family, and does so also with a religious subtext, the stakes are high for Cole and his new partner Campbell (Wayans) to crack the case. The heat really ratchets up when Jack’s ex-wife becomes a victim, and our two heroes discover that the Russian mafia is involved in all this somehow, as they usually are in these instances. 

As it turns out, Jack’s CIA past comes to light as his former boss and now bad guy Mr. Smith (Cox) has joined forces with another local baddie named Deverell (Gunton). Things may seem complicated for the seemingly-mismatched pair of Cole and Campbell, but the Buddhist monk and the wisecracking cop are the only hope of rescuing the citizens of Los Angeles. Will they succeed despite all the obstacles in their way?

Prepare to soak up the awesome power of glimmering men as Seagal eats his way through L.A. like a pudgy Pac-Man. It seems pretty clear that the filmmakers were trying to replicate the magic of The Last Boy Scout (1991), even throwing a Wayans brother into the deal. But without the stellar writing of Shane Black, or a comparative budget, or the charisma of Bruce Willis, you’re left with a Seagal on the decline…this is where his laziness started to become really apparent, with face-palmingly obvious stand-ins, other actors overdubbing his voice, his whispering when he does have to talk, and the predominance of his paddy-cake slap-fu during the non-gun-related fight scenes. Oh well, at least this is before he became a sadistic torturer, as he did in his later DTV movies.

 Keenen Ivory Wayans not only shined with his great comic timing and snappy one-liners, we also appreciated the fact that his character, Campbell, was a classic movie fan. He even got to do some impressive Keenen Ivory-Fu, which was much appreciated. Not only did Wayans pull his own weight in this production, he pulled most of Seagal’s as well. Without Wayans adding the brightness, this would have been a total slog. 

Brian Cox was perfectly fine as the baddie, but it was very reminiscent of Noble Willingham in Boy Scout. When Cox and Seagal are talking in the Italian restaurant, it’s a battle of the whispers. You definitely need the subtitles on the DVD.

So while we do see the triumph of Seagal’s so-called “sissy beads”, the movie remains just on the edge of a breakthrough of quality and value. It’s entertaining enough, but it’s also easy to see why it was one of Seagal’s last movies to hit theater screens. Speaking of edges, you haven’t seen the proper use of a credit card until you’ve seen Seagal brandish his plastic. I hear he earns double airline miles for every dead gangster.

Once again, Seagal was also heavily involved in the music, teaming up with the prolific Todd Smallwood on two bluesy rockers for Taj Mahal and The Jeff Healey Band. Music aside, the plot is nothing you wouldn’t see on an episode of Criminal Minds, and it’s plain to see Seagal’s torpor setting in. Taking all this into consideration, The Glimmer Man might bring back some fond memories of perusing the shelves at your local video store…but seen from today’s perspective you can see the ill omens that would predict the course of Seagal’s later career. Despite the best efforts of Wayans and perhaps a few others, The Glimmer Man is pretty middling.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Bloodfist II (1990)

Bloodfist II (1990)-* * *

Directed by: Andy Blumenthal

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Rina Reyes, Joe Mari Avellana, Maurice Smith, Richard Hill, Ned Hourani and Cris Aguilar












Jake Raye is back, and in kickboxing-related trouble once again! Since the last Bloodfist film, Jake became a legit kickboxer, in state-sanctioned bouts with boxing gloves, etc., and put his punchfighting past behind him. When he accidentally kills his opponent in the ring, he vows never to fight again. After about two years have passed, Jake has hit the skids. His apartment is in disarray and he’s not in shape.  One day, he gets a call from his friend, a Black man inexplicably named Vinny Petrello (Smith), who lures him back to Manila once again. 

Once back on his old stomping grounds, Jake and a bunch of other fighters are kidnapped and spirited away by boat to the private island home of sinister kickboxing fan Su (Avellana). He forces the men to take part in an “illegal high stakes tournament” - death fights, or as Su calls them, “gladiator fights”. But Su’s men have an unfair advantage. He pumps them full of a special steroid that makes them impervious to pain. So the good fighters don’t know what they’re up against. Luckily, the plucky Jake Raye and love interest Mariella (Reyes) get to the bottom of it. Will Jake live to see another sequel?

For those that don’t know, only the first two Bloodfist films are truly sequels. The Dragon plays Jake Raye in the first two films only. The other 897 Bloodfist movies are basically separate entities but renamed under the Bloodfist banner because presumably Roger Corman felt fans would rather see an eighth sequel to something, whether it’s truly a sequel or not, than a new movie with an original title. Interesting logic.

Nevertheless, the first half of Bloodfist 2 is very similar to the original film - the same locales are used and some of the situations seem oddly familiar. But once the fighters are on the boat to Su’s house, things change. The movie somehow becomes dumber, yet more fast paced, even though a huge block of time is spent in one room as the fighters fight. Yet it never becomes a slog. That was pretty impressive.  It was here that the film developed its own, more original personality.  And of course, the film ends with a big, final brawl.

Avellana is back as the bad guy, but not the same one from the first movie. And the rankings of the fighters/actors are back in the credits, but the movie outdoes itself in introducing these men to the audience, as Su names them all, and their titles/rankings in the movie as well. In the order Su introduces them, they are: John Jones (Warring), Manny Rivera (Samson), Bobby Rose (Hill), Ernest Santana (Rogers), Tobo Castanerra (Del Rosario), and Sal Taylor (Baker), the last of which sports a spiffy shirt throughout the entirety of his screen time. Additionally, Ned Hourani and Cris Aguilar return from the first movie, but in different roles. Don The Dragon gives his delightfully wooden delivery we all know and love.

Bloodfist 2 is more of a typical punchfighter, but the action and humor elements are ramped up more, and the plot is tamped down to a minimum. Since all Bloodfist movies apparently had to be 85 minutes, the filmmakers decided to try a new structure, at least for the second half of the film.

If you watched the first Bloodfist movie and wished it had MORE punchfighting, as well as more silliness, this, the only true sequel, is the movie for you.

NOTE: in the end credits, Wes Craven and Stephen Tobolowsky are listed as “advisors”. If anyone knows how Craven or Tobolowsky advised this movie, please write in today.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett