Exit Wounds (2001)

Exit Wounds (2001)- * * *

Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Starring: Steven Seagal, DMX, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson, Michael Jai White, Bill Duke, Isiah Washington, Bruce McGill, Jill Hennessy, Drag-On, and Eva Mendes

Orin Boyd (Mr. Seagal) is a Detroit cop who doesn’t play by the rules, is a lone wolf, doesn’t like authority, and all that stuff. Even though his valiant efforts saved the life of the Vice President, because he cut through all the departmental red tape, he must be punished for that. So he gets transferred to a much more “urban” police precinct. While the department is headed by the well-intentioned Annette Mulcahy (Hennessy), Boyd uncovers a cadre of corrupt cops under her command. However, besides putting a stop to the corruption, Boyd has to deal with having to attend anger management classes. It’s here he meets local TV host Henry Wayne (Arnold). Finally, Boyd has to contend with Latrell Walker (DMX) and his partner Trish (Mendes) – not to mention their compatriot T.K. (Anderson) - in the quest for justice. Who will suffer the most EXIT WOUNDS?

Exit Wounds is an enjoyable, fast-paced, and professionally-made Seagal outing. Its mix of action and comedy is palatable, and the production values are high. Sadly, this was one of the last times Seagal would go to the movie theater. Within the next couple of years, he became stranded on DTV island. Since this was before that, the violence never gets too brutal (at least it’s not sadistic) and Seagal even gets to exercise his comic timing. 

Most of the comedy, however, is left to Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson, with generally good results. After the movie ends, and during the credits, there is a scene with just the two of them riffing off one another, and it’s one of the better scenes in the movie. Director Bartkowiak just sat them in chairs next to each other and let them rip. Smart idea. One of the other strengths of ‘Wounds is its cast. Perhaps realizing that, by 2001, Seagal couldn’t carry a movie all by himself, the movie got loaded up with great people and familiar faces. 

For instance, Boyd, for all intents and purposes, gets both a WYC (White Yelling Chief) AND a BYC (Black Yelling Chief) in the forms of McGill and Duke, respectively. It’s always nice to see them both. And lest we forget DMX, who acquits himself admirably. In many scenes, DMX is onscreen while DMX music is playing in the background. That’s DMX on top of DMX. He even gets to act alongside one of his fellow Ruff Ryders in a few scenes. At least Drag-On got to go to the theater once in his life.

Somehow Jill Hennessy looks better and younger here than she did in Law & Order. And, finally, there’s fan favorite Michael Jai White. The fight between Seagal and White should have been longer and better. That was a minor disappointment, but apparently the fight wasn’t planned and was more or less improvised on the set. Bearing that in mind, it’s not that bad, but it still left something to be desired. 

Bartkowiak also directed the very similar Romeo Must Die (2000) and Cradle 2 the Grave (2003). Though he was born in 1950 in Poland, somehow he really understands the American “urban” experience. Or at least his Hollywood bosses think he does. Perhaps he is just homies with DMX. You gotta love DMX-fu. Bartkowiak keeps things moving well, and while there are some very silly moments during the fight scenes (not the least of which include speed-ups/slow-downs and wirework), all in all it’s pretty enjoyable stuff. The energy level remains high (Tom Arnold alone is like a one-man generator) and the audience remains entertained, and isn’t that the important thing? Plus it has one of the best exploding helicopter scenes we’ve seen to date. 

In the end, Exit Wounds is a career highlight for Seagal. Outside of his initial “three-word” trilogy, this is probably one of his best movies.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)

Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)- *

Directed by: Yossi Wein

Starring: Todd Jensen, Trae Thomas, Clive Scott, and Tony Caprari

When Ambassador Clarence Rodman (Scott) – who probably isn’t related to basketballer/honorary North Korean Dennis Rodman – is on a speeding train somewhere in Kenya, things start to look bad. Little does he, or anyone else, know that super-evil terrorist mastermind Jafari Bin Kasim (Caprari) is on the loose. So, naturally, the DELTA FORCE is sent in. Let by Captain Kennedy (Thomas) and Sgt. Johnson (Jensen), the boys get involved in endless firefights and bombings in and around Kenya. When certain people are held prisoner by Jafari – who probably isn’t related to the bad guy from Aladdin – Kennedy wants answers, but he’s not getting any info from the military brass. After a wave of suicide bombings in America, the DELTA FORCE decides to go back to Africa to save their missing compatriots. Will they hit their mark? Or will it just be a bunch of RANDOM FIRE?

OPERATION DELTA FORCE 5: RANDOM FIRE is a cross between a generic and characterless Nu Image modern-day war actioner and a movie that can predict the future. Sure, there are the endless, repetitive shooting/blow up scenes we’ve all come to expect, but let’s keep in mind this has a copyright date of 1999 and was released in 2000 – and it features a terrorist using a plane to crash into something as a weapon of war, there are many sleeper cells and suicide bombings, and there is a Boston bombing. All pre-9/11. So, pretty impressive for a DTV war movie with nothing else to distinguish it.



The audience knows Jafari Bin Kasim is evil because:



- He has a ponytail



- He looks like Al Pacino after a night of binge drinking



- His name is Jafari Bin Kasim



- He pronounces the word “missiles” as “misSYLes”



…among other rather obvious clues. The movie needed more Jafari. And even during the Jafari we did get, most of Jafari’s face is obscured by bizarre and unneeded close ups while he’s looking through binoculars and singing “Glory, Glory Hallelujah” as the signal to ignite his suicide bombers. While he was onscreen, at least there was some mild tension and/or lack of boredom. But the filmmakers must have thought audiences would be okay without him.

In classic B-movie fashion, all the people we see look like other people. Is that Anthony Michael Hall? No, it’s Trae Thomas. Is that the guy from Seinfeld? No, that’s…someone else. Is that Todd Jensen? No, that’s…Todd Jensen. After seeing many movies with him, we’re still not sure what he looks like. 

While there are a lot of war clichés, there are also plenty of things action movies used to have back in the good old days: exploding helicopters, guard tower falls, guard tower explosions, repeated footage, borrowed footage, and stuff like that. But it’s not enough to make the movie interesting or worthwhile. Some characterization might have helped. Just a thought.

However, our favorite character comes along towards the end of the movie. We don’t think he has a name, but we could be wrong. He’s a guy shooting a machine gun out of a helicopter. The top half of his face is obscured by his helmet visor. He displays no emotion whatsoever, never says anything, and never changes his body position or his gun position. He’s just an unsmiling, seemingly random guy with a gun who can’t be bothered to do anything else. It was pretty funny…if you ever see this movie, lord help you, you will recognize him based on our description, we’re sure.

Oh yeah, one more thing. Please allow us to quote from the back of the TVA Films (Canada) DVD box. It says, in part, after attempting to describe the plot for a few sentences: “The inquiry is interrupted when news arrives that the three men left behind are now being held prisoner in Angola by terrorist Osama Bin Laden.” Wait a minute. Are they allowed to do that? We were led to believe old Osama himself would make an appearance in this movie. So, naturally, like any sane individual, we purchased the DVD at the library store for two dollars. It could just be that the box-writer was confused by the actual baddie’s name, Jafari Bin Kasim, but the only similarity is the “Bin”…which is exactly where this godforsaken DVD should rightfully go. 

We kid, of course, but no Osamas are to be found. The main selling point is a sham. That’s classic exploitation for ya. Well, anyway, best just to avoid this movie and move on with your life.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty