The Eliminator (2004)

 

The Eliminator (2004)- * *

Directed by Ken Barbet

Starring: Bas Rutten, Michael Rooker, Danielle Burgio, and Paul Logan

One moment, Dakota Varley (Rutten) is competing in a rather lengthy boat race. The next, he is kidnapped and spirited off to a remote jungle location. It seems some other people have met the same fate, including Jesse (Logan) and Santha (Burgio). Yet another evil mastermind (why are there so many of those?) named Miles Dawson (Rooker) has set up a "survival game" where the contestants are implanted with tracking chips and the winner supposedly wins ten million dollars. Of course, Varley, and to a lesser extent, Jesse and Santha, don't like this very much. Much like Gilligan and his shipmates, they try to get off the island. But Miles Dawson has a command center, a bunch of rich friends, and some goons, so it won't be easy. Who, in the end, will be THE ELIMINATOR?



You'll be rootin' for Rutten in this time-honored "Most Dangerous Game" tale, if you can look past the utter lack of originality and low production values, that is. Okay, if you've seen The Condemned (2007), Surviving The Game (1994), Deadly Game (1991), The Game (1988), Soldiers of Fortune (2012), The Tournament (2009), Death Ring (1992), or Seized (2020) - not to mention Hard Target (1993) or the original Most Dangerous Game (1932), not to mention all the countless other derivations we don't have the time or space to list here - you might have some idea what to expect with The Eliminator. An alternate title for the film is even Varley's Game. The puzzling part is why the filmmakers behind The Eliminator wanted to run through this sort of storyline one more time, without adding a single new element or bit of insanity that would spice things up.



Adding insult to injury is the pale, washed-out cinematography and needless editing tricks that can't possibly distract viewers enough from the pervasive feeling that you've seen all this before. If that's the purpose of your editing style, you've definitely got a problem on your hands. Because we're now in the early 2000's, unnecessary and facepalm-inducing CGI was evidently deemed needed. There are also "Bugs Bunny"-style sound effects, and even whooshing noises as the camera whips around more than Willow Smith's hair.



However, it's perhaps not all bad - Bas Rutten is likable enough. He looks like a cross between Stabler (i.e. Christopher Meloni) and Randy Couture. He's well-suited to the action scenes, which are mostly of the beat-em-up variety. Paul "Ballistica" Logan is here too as a sort of sidekick. The film mostly vacillates between these jungle scenes with the punch-ups and occasional kills, and Rooker with his upper-class-twit buddies as he gives orders in his command center. In that sense, it's not that different from the Bourne series of films, give or take a few million dollars (but who's counting)? There's also one exploding helicopter for those keeping track at home.



As indicated earlier, The Eliminator is not wacky enough to stand out. It's all played stultifyingly straight. Try as he might, the charm of Bas Rutten isn't enough to overcome that, or the whole low-rent feeling of it all. Of course it's all very stupid, but it's also The Eliminator. I think it's also important to remember that Survivor was still a pretty hot TV show at the time. Maybe someone thought, "Hey, let's make a low-budget actioner that takes the idea of being a survivor literally, and add Bas Rutten and Michael Rooker". Voila, there you have it.


Featuring the end-credits song "Will To Survive" by Ian Springen (at least that's what we think the credit said; they're as washed out and hard to see as everything else) The Eliminator is not what you'd call essential viewing. It may only appeal to die-hard Bas Rutten fans, or fans of the "Most Dangerous Game" cliche.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Act Of War (1998)

 Act Of War (1998)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Lee

Starring: Jack Scalia, Douglas Arthurs, Ingrid Torrence, and Milan Gargula

Uh oh. There has been (another?) military coup in Bazrakhistan. Just when you think the long-suffering Bazrakhis have found peace and security, along comes Sergei Constantine (Arthurs), a General with a terminal case of evilface, and the new Bazrakhi President, Krutov (Gargula) wants to be recognized by the U.S. He threatens that if they're not, they'll launch their nukes. The baddies take everyone at the embassy hostage until their demands are met. But said baddies didn't count on one thing: Jack Gracy (Scalia). Gracy crashes the party (literally) so he can see his girlfriend Katherina (Torrance), but he ends up with the classic Disc that would enable the nuclear strikes. Of course, the baddies want the disc. What then follows are some classic shootings, beat-ups and blow-ups. Will Jack Gracy be able to stop this ACT OF WAR?



The mystery man of Eastern European-shot DTV extravaganzas - Lloyd Simandl - teams up with the most underrated director in DTV - Robert Lee - for this slab of Die Hardiana with John McScalia front and center to save the day. Even his white tanktop and brown pants combo will remind you of a certain person from a certain movie series we all have become familiar with over the years. Jack Gracy is not likable but somehow that all adds to the humor of the film. The fact that he's somewhat of a jerk is just funny. Because...of course he is. At one point he does fly sideways in the air while shooting his gun (s), so that kind of makes up for his rather humorous unlikability.




Because it was 1998, world-destroying nuclear missiles cannot be launched without a CD-ROM disc. Naturally, this is the MacGuffin that everyone is looking for, from the baddies to the nerdy Willmont (Nykl). Leave it up to Simandl's James Bond - Jack Gracy - to get the disc and the launch codes. It's all about those dang launch codes. This cliche is backed with another one, the Wacky Taxi Driver. Seemingly you couldn't enter any foreign country in the 80's or 90's without one. Here we get a classic. He's a wacky Bazrakhi that even gets Scalia/Gracy to show his sillier side. Maybe that was unavoidable.




The new head of Bazrakhistan is named Krutov, and he's played by Lucio Fulci lookalike Gargula. Every time his name is said, it sounds like they're saying "Crouton". This just takes an already very silly and stupid movie and adds another log on the silly/stupid fire. There are meatheaded "Ox" and "Moose"-type dum-dums, an out-of-nowhere exploding helicopter, and plenty of other instances of good-natured dumbness that you just can't hate. But some of the best dialogue scenes come in the War Room, presumably somewhere in the U.S. government recesses. It's there that the actors involved really come out to shine. We imagine it's an accurate reflection of what really goes on behind the scenes.


In the end, if you like your DTV movies both dumb and unintelligent, you will get a big kick out of Act of War. You can certainly get some laffs and yuks out of it, if that's what you're after. It will make you yearn for the slickness and stylishness of Don Mogavero. So, you'll probably have a good time with it, even if that may not have been the original intention.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty


Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum!

The Game (1988)

 The Game (1988)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Cole McKay

Starring: Craig Alan, Joesph Campanella, Sunni McCullough, Darwyn Swalve, and Robert Elliott

"My son, Kane, is my son." - Mr. Schekel

When a cabal of ultra-wealthy baddies convene in a secret location to play THE GAME, what that really means is that they each have teams of killers who go out and hunt specially-chosen "derelicts". What this cabal didn't count on, however, is the toughness of Kane (Alan), a badass of mighty proportions. Kane's father, a government agent going by the name of Mr. Schekel (Campanella), infiltrates The Game in order to exfiltrate his son. So while Kane, and fellow prey Luna (McCullough) and Stubby (Swalve) are fighting for their lives in the field of combat, Schekel is back at the base, having to contend with Col. Podak (Elliott), the Game Master, and the other evil Game-players. Who will win THE GAME?




Not to be confused with the Michael Douglas film of the same name, or any other movies out there called The Game, THIS The Game takes the "hunted for sport by a cabal" sub-sub-sub-subgenre typified by the likes of Death Chase (1988), Fugitive X: Innocent Target (1996), and later entries such as The Tournament (2009) and The Condemned (2007), and puts a nice 1988 spin on it. Add that to the fact that there are both ninjas n' Nazis (NNN), and The Price Is Right-style game show models. They are named Sherry and Dawn, by the by, and they're played by Casadei and Gava respectively.  A tone of wackiness ensues. Oh, and the ninjas have machine guns.




While there is a surprising amount of setup before the mayhem ensues, the fact that The Game was directed by Cole McKay, the longtime stuntman we all know and love, ensures that stunts, shooting, blow-ups, swordfights, exploding helicopters (no matter the source of which), and other action-oriented material is soon to follow. While not an AIP film, it has a definite AIP feel, akin to the likes of Invasion Force (1990) or Mankillers (1987), the latter of which also featured Craig Alan.




While we love "assemble a team" sequences in movies, here we have "assemble the derelicts" where we see how The Game people pick their, to quote the aforementioned Fugitive X, "Innocent Targets". Why someone would pay ten million dollars just to have commandos shoot at them must show just how evil these people are.



Finished off by the classic 80's electric guitar-based soundtrack and some un-PC dialogue, there's plenty to enjoy with The Game.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hell Hunters (1987)

Hell Hunters (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Ernest Ritter Von Theumer

Starring: George Lazenby, Maud Adams, Russ McCubbin, William Berger, Eduardo Conde, Neila Cozza, Romulo Arantes, Candice Daly, and Stewart Granger

A woman named Amanda (Adams) is a Nazi hunter. She's hot on the trail of Martin Hoffmann (Granger), who, like a lot of his baddie brethren, absconded to Brazil. While in hiding on the outskirts of Rio, Hoffmann develops a serum (why are they always developing serums?) which would turn the world into faithful fascist followers. Amanda's daughter Ally (Daly) is attending USC nursing school and isn't at all familiar with her mom's Nazi-hunting ways. But, due to an unfortunate turn of events involving not just her mom but also her dad, Karl (Berger), Ally is forced to travel to Brazil to root out the Nazis herself.

Well, she does have help in the form of a hunk named Tonio (Arantes), a babe named Nelia (Cozza), and a Jack S. Daniels-style wild n' crazy guy named Nelson "Kong" Webster (McCubbin). This ragtag team of heroes will not only have to face off against Hoffmann, but also his goons, including lead goon Heinrich (Lazenby) and sub-goon El Pasado (Conde). The South American jungles can sure be hell...but will that stop the plucky HELL HUNTERS from completing their mission? Find out today...

Hell Hunters gets off to a bit of a slow start but gradually picks up speed. It slowly accelerates until its explosive conclusion, and, in the end, is a satisfying viewing experience. It's more or less an Exploding Hutter, but the Nazi hunting angle gives it a bit of a difference. The main thing that sets Hell Hunters apart from its jungle-dwelling cohorts of the day are the characters. Not only the prominent ones, but the little ones as well. There's always something wacky or at the very least mildly interesting going on. The supporting players help a lot, and the main cast puts it over the top. 

Stewart Granger is excellent as the main Nazi baddie. He puts in a charismatic, fun performance that only someone with a long career and a lot of experience could refine to that sort of point. Incidentally, Hoffmann has a framed picture of Hitler on his wall and a swastika flag in the dining room. Even his home decor screams "Man, I'm a devoted Nazi". He screens films of Nazi rallies in his den for himself and his buddies to watch as they smoke cigars, drink Cognac (presumably) and reminisce grandly about "the good old days". We haven't seen a Nazi this dedicated since John Savage had an evil glove drawer in Red Scorpion 2 (1994).

The assassin El Pasado is a real gem as well. He has one of the thickest unibrows we've ever seen, dresses in a white suit, and is heavily balding, except for a luxurious ponytail. Hey, it may look funny to you - and you'd be right - but you wouldn't want to see him coming for you in a dark alley at night. Thankfully, on the side of the good guys we have Kong. If anyone could possibly steal the movie from Granger, it's McCubbin. He's really a guy you'd want on your side. You can tell he likes to have a good time, and it's infectious.

The leading lady isn't Maud Adams as advertised, it's really Candice Daly from Cop Game (1988). Perhaps the people advertising the film were trying to play up the James Bond connection insofar as Adams and Lazenby are concerned. Hell Hunters isn't particularly Bond-esque but it does stand on its own two feet as an enjoyable jungle/Exploding Hutter. 

When the very first line of the movie is something along the lines of "no more mistakes!" - which typically we have to wait until about mid-movie to hear - and ends with a triumphant Exploding Helicopter, you know Hell Hunters is worth checking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Crooked (2006)

Crooked (2006)- * *

Directed by: Art Camacho

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Olivier Gruner, Gary Busey, Fred Williamson, Diana Kauffman, and Martin Kove









When a hooker with a heart of gold named Angel (Kauffman) witnesses a murder, police officers Danny Tyler (The Dragon) and Phil Yordan (Gruner) are put in charge of looking after her so there isn't any gangland retribution before she can testify. Of course, this isn't as simple as it seems, as a perfect storm of police corruption and irate mobsters coalesce around our three heroes. While they're on the run, shootouts and fights ensue. Where do Rouse (Busey) and Jake Lawlor (Kove) stand in all this? And who amongst all of them is CROOKED?

Lone Tiger Effect strikes again with Crooked, a chintzy affair that makes Detonator (2003) look classy. You'd think you couldn't go wrong with Don The Dragon, Fred Williamson, Kove, Busey, and Gruner all together. Well, unfortunately, it appears you can. Fred and Kove have glorified cameos, so you can take them pretty much out of the equation. The material the others had to work with wasn't the best. Low budgets have never been a negative for us, but if that's the case you've got to try just a little bit harder. 

The pacing is off, the dialogue is insipid, and the whole thing has that "stupid" feel. You probably know what we're talking about. Then there are the technical issues, such as poor lighting and sound, which add to the mess. However, maybe it's best that some of the dialogue isn't heard. That can only help the situation. That being said, sometimes it provides some laffs, as there's a scene early on in a police squad room where everyone's voice sounds normal except for Gary Busey's, which sounds like it was recorded separately in a large, echoey warehouse. We wouldn't normally mention it, but it's very, very obvious. And humorous. 

In the scenes where Busey is talking and it sounds like his voice was recorded in the same county, it certainly appears like they let him run wild with his own dialogue. There are a few instances of classic "Buseyisms" on display that only he could come up with. Besides that, Don's lovable woodenness is not only present and accounted for, it almost powers the movie along. Gruner's name in the film, Phil Yordan, must be a nod to the classic Hollywood-era screenwriter. But what would the original Yordan make of what he saw here? While Gruner is obviously trying, Don and Busey come out best in all this.


Yes, there is an exploding helicopter and a (weak) barfight...but we couldn't help but think that if Crooked was a PM movie that came out in 1996, it would have been done right. So why, in 2006, should things be any different? Just learn from the greats of the past. You'd think director Camacho, who worked on so many of those classic 90's productions as a stuntman, would know better. I mean, yes, Point Doom (2000) had Sebastian Bach, and Gangland (2001) had Mario Van Obama, but what does Crooked have? It appears, sadly, that the answer is diminishing returns. 

Crooked is, at best - at best - a one-time watch. And that's being generous. We're glad our favorite stars are working, and we like to see them, even in a lesser production like this. But we couldn't help but be disappointed.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Beyond Forgiveness (1994)

Beyond Forgiveness (1994)- * * *1\2

AKA: Blood Of The Innocent

Directed by: Bob Misiorowski

Starring: Thomas Ian Griffith, John-Rhys Davies, Joanna Trzepiecinska, and Rutger Hauer











Frank Wusharsky (TIG) is a Polish-American cop in Chicago. A festive evening of eating kielbasa and dancing to polka turns to tragedy when some baddies gun down his brother. Searching for answers as to who the evildoers are, Frank travels to his family's homeland - Poland, of course. Now a fish out of water, Frank finds an ally in lovable Polish cop Shmuda (Rhys-Davies). 

He meets resistance both from the official authorities and the Russian gangsters that are running wild all over Poland, but he does get further help from Anna (Trzepiecinska) - which leads him to the nefarious Dr. Lem (Hauer). Will it be a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top? Perhaps involving, in some way, the medical profession? Maybe you were B.O.R.N. to find out!

Beyond Forgiveness (AKA Blood of the Innocent) is one of the better TIG movies we've seen to date. It's certainly a heck of a lot better than Ulterior Motives (1992). But it's hard to beat the classic Excessive Force (1993). All in all, it's arguably number two in the TIG rundown.

That's because it has a lot of good things going for it. It's got a very enjoyable - dare we say classic - plot of a cop out for revenge and unafraid to shoot/kick/punch anyone who stands in his way, it's got more than a handful of cool lines said by TIG, and, even though this was a Nu-Image production, the whole thing was actually shot in Poland (and not Bulgaria) and has some very nice locations. 

Additionally, there are some quality blow-ups, shootouts, and fight scenes. Griffith is backed up with some top-notch talent this time around with not just Rhys-Davies, who also has some great lines and is charismatic and you grow to really like him, but also Rutger Hauer is here too, don't forget. His presence is enough to reassure audiences that we're watching something of substance. 

Trzepiecinska was more than just the eye candy - she gets in on the action and helps things along. This was one of her only (if not her only) non-completely Polish-made/Polish-language productions. She should have been in more.

It's a little surprising that this was directed by Bob Misiorowski, who we only know from two of his other duds, Blink of an Eye (1992) with Michael Pare, and Derailed (2002) with Van Damme. Beyond Forgiveness is leaps and bounds better than those two. Clearly Misiorowski was in his element here and it's definitely the best thing we've seen from him to date. 

Of course, it helps that there's a classic vegetable cart blow-up and there's sax on the soundtrack. That, and Griffith beats up some Polish meat factory workers. Obviously they want to kill him (?) - talk about not wanting to see how the sausage is made!

Beyond Forgiveness combines a solid revenge plot, nice locations, and quality actors. It even features what you might call a more mature TIG. We really enjoyed it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Death Train (2003)

Death Train (2003)- * 

Directed by: Yossi Wein

Starring: Bryan Genesse, and Bentley Mitchum

When an annoying baddie named Weaver (Mitchum) and his gang of stereotype thugs (there’s a nerd, a woman, etc.) hijack a train, all hell breaks loose. They want to steal some diamonds and maybe shoot some hostages along the way. Stopping them from getting away is a man named Ryan (Genesse), a rogue agent of some law enforcement variety or other. He wears a long leather duster coat in the hot Bulgarian weather and he never runs out of ammo for his gun. Will he save the stereotype hostages (there’s a priest, a pregnant woman, etc.) and bring the baddies to justice? Has Ryan finally met his match with Weaver? And do you really care? We’re talkin’ Death Train here…

We never thought we would ever say this, but we finally found a movie that made us miss Derailed (2002). Death Train, sadly, has a lot of strikes against it: it came out in 2003, a death time for DTV, it’s one of the lesser Nu Image throwaways, there’s nil character development so you don’t care what’s going on, the movie is chock full of one-dimensional, stereotype characters, and on the whole it adds nothing new to the Die Hard/hostage genre and there are no surprises whatsoever. 

Instead of Derailed’s Van Damme, we have Bryan Genesse as our main hero. During the first half of the movie, he looks like a cross between Brendan Fraser and Jason Bateman. Bizarrely, during the second half he metamorphosizes into Daniel Baldwin. Just weird. As his bad-guy foil, Bentley Mitchum truly resembles David Cross. He even seems to take on some Cross-isms in his speech patterns as well. Just why we’re supposed to find a David Cross lookalike intimidating as an evildoer in any way remains unknown as of today. 

On top of all this muck, we have a mish-mash of mismatched train footage, culled from such movies as Danger Zone (1996) – remember Robert Downey Junior’s classic line from that one – Operation Delta Force (1997), Sweepers (1998), and City of Fear (2000). Nu Image must really like trains. Any episode of Thomas the Tank Engine is more compelling than this. It truly is a train slog.

Yes, there is an exploding helicopter, lots of shooting, and some beat-ups, but those elements alone do not a good movie make. There are some unintentionally funny parts as well. Those are some of the nicest things we can say about Death Train. We always try to see the positive, but this is really straining us. The movie needed a Wesley Snipes or a Kely McClung – somebody with some interest or charisma to keep things on track. Pun intended. 

Not to be confused with the Arnold Vosloo Death Train (2005), if you’re looking for a train-based action movie, do watch or re-watch Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995). Death Train is…wait for it…a trainwreck.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Active Stealth (1999)

Active Stealth (1999)- * 

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Fred Williamson, Terry Funk, Hannes Jaenicke, Chick Vennera, Tim Abell, Joe Lala, and Shannon Whirry

When an evil Mexican drug lord (is there any other kind?) named Salvatore (Lala) and his henchman Morgan (Funk) take a member of our U.S. military hostage, we bring in the best men we have available to go on the rescue mission. Of course, that includes Captain “Murph” Murphy (Baldwin), a sullen and somewhat belligerent man who is haunted by his past. His wife Gina (Whirry) is supportive, but along with Chiccio (Vennera), Lt. Reb Carter (Abell), and “Hollywood” Andrews – because he wants to make it in Hollywood after his military career is over - (Robinson), the boys snap into action and use the awesome new stealth bomber for said mission. They even get help from “Special Guest” Andrew Stevens as Jack Stevens. Whoa. While south of the border, they make friends with a peasant woman and her young son as they find out Salvatore wants to “El Presidente” himself all the way to the top. Paralleling that back home, Captain Reynolds (Williamson) just may be part of conspiracy that also goes to the top.

Here we go again…if Stealth Fighter (1999), Desert Thunder (1999), Crash Dive (1996), its sequel Counter Measures (1999), Agent Red (2000), Air Rage (2001), and all the other Fred Olen Ray or Jim Wynorski-styled plane slogs from the late 90’s/early 2000’s weren’t enough for you, well, here’s another one. Not only does this not add anything to the genre, it actually takes away entertaining elements from the other ones. For example, there’s no precocious kid like a Sarah Dampf to at least make us chuckle here. We do get an Italian stereotype in Chiccio, but it’s just not the same. 

It’s not the “borrowed” footage from other movies that bothers us. We’re used to that by now. It’s the fact that this is a plane slog crossed with an El Presidente slog, two of our least favorite slogs. Just simply stitching them together does not a good movie make. It even knocks off one of our favorites, Commando (1985), with Lala and Funk taking on the Dan Hedaya and Vernon G. Wells roles respectively. There is a ton of groan-inducing dialogue, from the constant military jargon (a lot of which is inaccurate, from what we’ve been able to ascertain), to the noticeably-more-obvious-than-usual homosexual references when our heroes are trying to “bond”. It all will make you long for the glory of Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990).


And speaking of Fred Williamson, the star of the aforementioned film, let’s face it, this movie is unworthy of his talents. He’s not in it that much, but it even manages to tamp down and tame The Hammer. Not good. Daniel Baldwin puts in a perfunctory performance but seems more interested whenever there’s dialogue involving chili (there’s more than you might think). While casting Terry Funk as one of the baddies was a good idea, we would have liked to have seen Shannon Whirry in more than just the clichéd “worried wife” role. She should have taken a rocket launcher down to Mexico to blow up Salvatore. Then we’d be talking.

Sure, there’s a bunch of mindless shooting, and some helicopters “blow up” (is this stuff even real anymore?) but it’s very, very hard – if not impossible – to care. The Top Gun video game for Nintendo was more entertaining and well-made than this. It’s pretty much the dictionary definition of shelf filler.

The Stealth may be active but your brain cells will be inactive if you witness this muck. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Militia (2000)

Militia (2000)- * * *

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Dean Cain, Jennifer Beals, Fredrick Forrest, Jeff Kober, Michael Cavanough, Brett Butler, and Stacy Keach

"Action? I love action movies!” – Col. Jim Donaman

Ethan Carter (Cain) is an ATF agent with an attitude. During a raid on the compound of the so-called MILITIA group Brotherhood of Liberty, Carter manages to shoot and wound its leader, William Fain (Forrest). Fain ends up going to prison, and most of the compound, including the majority of its inhabitants, are torched. Years later, Carter is chosen to go on a very special mission. He must go undercover as a member of Brotherhood of Liberty, and to accompany him, none other than Fain gets a get out of jail free card. The two unlikely allies have to find some missing anthrax because some baddies are going to attach it to a missile and launch it. Carter doesn’t want to work with ATF newbie Julie Sanders (Beals), but it’s going to take all they’ve got to stop arch-baddie George Armstrong Montgomery (Keach)…or is there a wider conspiracy afoot?

Militia was a pleasant surprise. Maybe it’s because we were expecting the worst when we went in, but we thought it was entertaining and likely the best Wynorski movie we’ve reviewed to date. Now, that’s not to say a lot of the elements he consistently uses aren’t here, including recycled footage from Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985), American Ninja 2 (1987), Delta Force 2 (1990), and Terminator 2 (1991). Hell, why didn’t he just call the movie Militia 2? But the dialogue is pretty snappy, the pace is quick, and it’s somewhat fun to play “spot the footage”. It’s interpolated into the movie better at some times than at others, but Militia still has other strong points to boast…

It has a fine cast of character actors and they all do their jobs well. Fan favorite Dean Cain turns on the charm and the witty repartee as he goes into action as the fairly belligerent ATF agent, and Jennifer Beals as his sidekick provides him a worthy foil. Frederic Forrest gives Cain even more to worry about as the conflicted militia member with his political beliefs, and Jeff Kober is on hand as one of his fellow militia-ists. The centerpiece of them all is the great Stacy Keach, of course, and while he was excellent as the talk radio host-turned-aspiring-world-dominator, it’s the type of role Keach could do in his sleep. Our guess is he didn’t feel too challenged by the part. But it’s almost always a joy to see him in action. 

Honorable mention should go to one Michael Cavanaugh, who played Donaman, as he stood out in that role. The only puzzling thing in the cast department is the nothing role of Brett Butler, who has a mere cameo as a bartender. But since there was a lot of machine gun shooting, rockets being launched, and at least one exploding helicopter around her, perhaps she was attempting to show us the true meaning of “Grace Under Fire”!

One of the great things about DTV movies is that they can be cranked out relatively quickly, so they can stay on the pulse of what’s happening in real life. Fascinatingly, Militia, with all its talk of terrorism and governmental weakness and botchings, came out before 9/11. Also, there are references to incidents like Waco and Ruby Ridge so it can stay relevant and “ripped from the headlines”. And if all that doesn’t float your boat, you can always check out the local country store featured in the film, which advertises such things as “cash for roadkill” and something called “peppered cowboy jerky”. Figuring out what that is just may be the ultimate mystery of the movie. 

Militia must be the best – or one of the best – DTV action movies to come out in the otherwise rather dreary year of 2000. As long as you keep your perspective while doing so, we say check it out. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Exit Wounds (2001)

Exit Wounds (2001)- * * *

Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak

Starring: Steven Seagal, DMX, Tom Arnold, Anthony Anderson, Michael Jai White, Bill Duke, Isiah Washington, Bruce McGill, Jill Hennessy, Drag-On, and Eva Mendes

Orin Boyd (Mr. Seagal) is a Detroit cop who doesn’t play by the rules, is a lone wolf, doesn’t like authority, and all that stuff. Even though his valiant efforts saved the life of the Vice President, because he cut through all the departmental red tape, he must be punished for that. So he gets transferred to a much more “urban” police precinct. While the department is headed by the well-intentioned Annette Mulcahy (Hennessy), Boyd uncovers a cadre of corrupt cops under her command. However, besides putting a stop to the corruption, Boyd has to deal with having to attend anger management classes. It’s here he meets local TV host Henry Wayne (Arnold). Finally, Boyd has to contend with Latrell Walker (DMX) and his partner Trish (Mendes) – not to mention their compatriot T.K. (Anderson) - in the quest for justice. Who will suffer the most EXIT WOUNDS?

Exit Wounds is an enjoyable, fast-paced, and professionally-made Seagal outing. Its mix of action and comedy is palatable, and the production values are high. Sadly, this was one of the last times Seagal would go to the movie theater. Within the next couple of years, he became stranded on DTV island. Since this was before that, the violence never gets too brutal (at least it’s not sadistic) and Seagal even gets to exercise his comic timing. 

Most of the comedy, however, is left to Tom Arnold and Anthony Anderson, with generally good results. After the movie ends, and during the credits, there is a scene with just the two of them riffing off one another, and it’s one of the better scenes in the movie. Director Bartkowiak just sat them in chairs next to each other and let them rip. Smart idea. One of the other strengths of ‘Wounds is its cast. Perhaps realizing that, by 2001, Seagal couldn’t carry a movie all by himself, the movie got loaded up with great people and familiar faces. 

For instance, Boyd, for all intents and purposes, gets both a WYC (White Yelling Chief) AND a BYC (Black Yelling Chief) in the forms of McGill and Duke, respectively. It’s always nice to see them both. And lest we forget DMX, who acquits himself admirably. In many scenes, DMX is onscreen while DMX music is playing in the background. That’s DMX on top of DMX. He even gets to act alongside one of his fellow Ruff Ryders in a few scenes. At least Drag-On got to go to the theater once in his life.

Somehow Jill Hennessy looks better and younger here than she did in Law & Order. And, finally, there’s fan favorite Michael Jai White. The fight between Seagal and White should have been longer and better. That was a minor disappointment, but apparently the fight wasn’t planned and was more or less improvised on the set. Bearing that in mind, it’s not that bad, but it still left something to be desired. 

Bartkowiak also directed the very similar Romeo Must Die (2000) and Cradle 2 the Grave (2003). Though he was born in 1950 in Poland, somehow he really understands the American “urban” experience. Or at least his Hollywood bosses think he does. Perhaps he is just homies with DMX. You gotta love DMX-fu. Bartkowiak keeps things moving well, and while there are some very silly moments during the fight scenes (not the least of which include speed-ups/slow-downs and wirework), all in all it’s pretty enjoyable stuff. The energy level remains high (Tom Arnold alone is like a one-man generator) and the audience remains entertained, and isn’t that the important thing? Plus it has one of the best exploding helicopter scenes we’ve seen to date. 

In the end, Exit Wounds is a career highlight for Seagal. Outside of his initial “three-word” trilogy, this is probably one of his best movies.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Blood On The Badge (1992)

Blood On The Badge (1992)- * * *

Directed by: Bret McCormick

Starring: Joe Estevez, David Harrod, Todd A. Everett, and Rocky Patterson 

When a Libyan terrorist group called the Hand of God are running around killing politicians, detectives Neil Farrow (Harrod) and Bill Marshall (Everett) are on the case. Captain Burton (Estevez) is constantly demanding answers from them, and after Marshall ends up in a coma, Farrow goes rogue – and also goes to Texas – to find the perpetrators. While somewhat of a fish out of water in the small town of Morgan County, Texas, Farrow has a spirit guide – his comatose partner Marshall himself! Dressed in a white T-shirt and bathed in white light even though he’s not dead, he gives Farrow cryptic clues as to what to do next. Doubtlessly it’s because of this intervention that Farrow comes across local powermad good ol’ boy Milo Truscott (Patterson) and his gang of nogoodniks. After traveling to the local “survival camp” and being mercilessly mocked and ridiculed by the local doomsday preppers, Farrow decides enough is enough and takes the law into his own hands to unravel the mystery. But will there be BLOOD ON THE BADGE?


Shot the same year as Armed For Action (1992) and featuring almost the exact same cast and crew, Blood On The Badge is more low-budget, Texas-set, Joe Estevez-infused DTV wonderment. Out of the two, we prefer Armed For Action, mainly because that has a higher mullet-and-Gatling-gun ratio, but it’s probably a matter of taste.


David Harrod returns as the hunky Himbo hero. His favorite outfit is what appears to be a homemade New York Yankees T-shirt tucked into acid washed jeans with a black belt. When he’s not wearing that, he likes to lounge around in a towel, showing off his ultra-manly Woody Woodpecker tattoo. He’s so much of a Himbo, he makes Dan Cortese look like William F. Buckley. Naturally, the ladies can’t get enough of him, and that includes Monique Detraz of The Dangerous (1995) fame. While the movie as a whole suffers from pacing issues, Joe Estevez appears right on time.


Rocky Patterson also returns, along with everyone else, from Armed For Action. In that outing he strongly resembled Joe Piscopo. In this movie, he strongly resembles Greg Kinnear. The man is a true chameleon. While his name here is Truscott, it sounds like everyone is calling him “Triscuit”. Thankfully, this movie isn’t quite as dry as his namesake cracker. Speaking of which, Truscott is a racist bigot who spews racial slurs constantly. That and the sax on the soundtrack are the hallmarks of a type of film which is not made anymore. While in many respects, Blood on the Badge is a relic of its day, it is actually quite ahead of its time. The plot revolves around Islamic terrorists, and there is a subplot that involves the Israeli ambassador. They should re-release this back into theaters today.



While there are a healthy amount of funny lines and silly situations, the plot is slow going. There is a machine gun shootout in a warehouse, and even an exploding helicopter, so in that respect it’s pure AIP. It all ends on a classic freeze frame and under the closing credits are wedding pictures. You’ve gotta hand it to director McCormick and his band of regulars. It may be rough around the edges, but, darn it, he made these movies and released them into video stores. You can tell plenty of effort was put into making them as good as possible under very, very limiting circumstances. It’s probably important to keep that in mind while watching.


In the end, if you liked Armed For Action, or even One Man War (1990), and you appreciate that down-home style, you’ll more than likely enjoy Blood On the Badge. If not, you probably won’t, though it is just entertaining enough to satisfy VHS junkies who are familiar with this type of material.


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Cyber-Tracker 2 (1995)

Cyber-Tracker 2 (1995)- * * *

Directed by: Richard Pepin

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Anthony De Longis, Stacie Foster, Tony Burton, Nils Allen Stewart, Steve Burton, Peggy McIntaggart, Jim Maniaci, and John Kassir

Fan favorite Don “The Dragon” Wilson is back cybertracking once again for the explosive sequel which is classic PM and classic 90’s. This time around, Eric Phillips (Don), a Secret Service agent in an L.A. of the near future, has his hands full when a super-evil baddie named Morgan (De Longis) creates “Kill-Trackers” in his underground lair (judging by other PM movies such as Executive Target, PM really loves baddies with underground lairs). Morgan has twisted cyber-tracker technology for his own evil ends. He even goes so far as to make Kill-Trackers that are doppelgangers of Eric and his wife Connie (Foster), who proceed to rampage around the city killing everyone in sight, including plenty of cops. The husband-and-wife duo is now on the run and fighting for their lives, so they team up with the loopy Tripwire (Kassir), the solid Swain (Tony Burton) and awesome-dude Jared (Steve Burton, probably no relation to Tony). There’s a good-guy ‘Tracker named #9 (Maniaci) who looks nothing like Robocop. Will our heroes stop the chaos and destruction? Will Eric get home in time to finish his leftover Pizza Hut pizza? Find out today!

Cyber-Tracker 2 is fast-paced fun and a near-constant stream of shooting, blow-ups, fights, and car chases. It’s PM doing what PM does best. There are even multiple iterations of their trademark “car flipping over another flaming car and blowing up in the middle of the street” stunt which we all love and enjoy. And the movie wouldn’t be complete without at least one exploding helicopter. It all starts with a great warehouse-set counterfeit-money-deal-gone-wrong which not only includes copious amounts of gun-blasting and explosions, but – because it’s the future – LASERS as well. You know you’re in for a treat when you see the lasers come out.

You also know you’re in for something special when you see noted meathead Nils Allen Stewart and his hairstyle – completely bald except for a braided rattail. He then proceeds to get into a fight with Don and we’re on our way to total entertainment. Don is as likable as ever, and De Longis as Morgan puts in a wonderfully scene-chewing performance as the over-the-top bad guy. Don even has some rather deep conversations with his wife, who, perhaps presciently, doesn’t trust cyber technology. That causes conflict because not only does #9 save Don’s life, their holographic maid (is that what she is?) from the first movie, Agnes (McIntaggart) returns, who makes their lives easier and better. Don even tutors a young girl in Martial Arts, who proceeds to strap on a VR helmet and kick the heads off of cyber-ninjas (or, to be precise, virtual ninjas). If this doesn’t scream 90’s, we don’t know what does.

Naturally, this reminded us of Comeuppance Classic The Protector (1999), which also had a robotic female helper, in that case named Gertrude, and also featured VR ninjas. But Cyber-Tracker 2 has at least two things The Protector doesn’t – exploding Mr. Potato heads (made of plastic explosive), complete with the yellow glasses, and an evil Kill-Tracker made in Morgan’s lab that strongly resembles This Old House star Bob Vila. This fearsome creature can only be described as “CyberVila”. Unfortunately, CyberVila doesn’t get as much screen time as he so richly deserved. It’s never too late for Cyber-Tracker 3, however. We think Lou Diamond Phillips could be involved.

When you get right down to it, movies like Cyber-Tracker 2 are what this site is all about – classic 90’s DTV with explosions galore and a VR-infused ‘gotta love the 90’s’ vibe. Long live Don “The Dragon” Wilson, long live real, non-CGI explosions, and long live PM! We remain your humble servants, and thank you for all the enjoyment you’ve provided over the years.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies: DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

The Protector (2005)

The Protector (2005)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Prachya Pinkaew

Starring: Tony Jaa, Johnny Nguyen, Petchtai Wongkamlao, Jin Xing, Lateef Crowder, Jon Foo, and Nathan Jones

As part of a centuries-old tradition in Thailand, certain people take on the duties to protect their all-important - and perhaps even sacred - elephants. These special people are known, naturally, as Protectors. Raised in rural Thailand as a Protector, like his father before him, Kham (Jaa) takes his responsibilities seriously - VERY seriously. When an unscrupulous gangster named Johnny Yai (Nguyen) kidnaps Kham’s two beloved elephants, Kohrn and Por-Yai (yes, the elephants have names), Kham travels to Sydney, Australia to find them and bring them back home. 

Teaming up with a Thai cop named Mark (Wongkamlao), Kham has to fight wave after wave of baddies who really take their elephant-napping to heart. It’s all being controlled by whip-wielding gangstress Madame Rose (Xing). Will Kham battle his way through the meatheads and retrieve the elephants?  Find out today!

Tony Jaa is just the Man. When it comes to Martial Arts fights, stunts, and choreography, he is arguably the best of his generation. What this man can do is unbelievably great and highly impressive. He gets the utmost respect not just for his considerable natural talent, but for his refusal to use wires or stunt doubles during fight scenes. His penchant for long takes is hugely appreciated and stands as the 180-degree opposite to the annoying “quick-cut” trend of today. 

The word on the street is, unfortunately, he has bad management that force him to do a lot of stupid movies and he went kind of nuts. He’s kind of like the action movie equivalent of Dave Chappelle. Of course, this doesn’t diminish him in any way.

The plot, simple as it is, shows a fascinating cultural difference that we really enjoyed. In most movies, a disc of some sort would be the sought-after item. In this case it’s elephants. The fact that elephants are so central to the Thai culture, and thus such a driving, motivating factor for the characters, was fascinating. To us Americans, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but we had to get over that and delve into the Thai mindset as best we could. Add to that the highly-impressive fight scenes and a fruit-cart boat chase, and you get sucked in to the movie quickly and effectively. There’s even a boat-induced exploding helicopter. We don’t think we’ve ever seen that before.

Of course, there are some time-honored action movie clichés we all know and love (besides the fruit-cart chase and the exploding heli), such as the wacky taxi driver, the warehouse fights, etc. Of course, to viewers of Ong-Bak (2003), the whole structure will seem very familiar: Tony Jaa goes to a new and unfamiliar city in search of something important to his culture, and has to fight a ton of people in the process. Rather than criticize this, we applaud it. So many action movies have overly-complicated plots that don’t serve the movie well. The Protector and Ong-Bak have nice, simple plots that clear the way and leave enough room for Tony Jaa to do his thing. No fuss, no muss. Finally.

Sure, there is some shooting and a few blow-ups, but, thankfully, the talent of Mr. Jaa is given an excellent platform here. He really shines as he fights not just the “cannon fodder” type of goon but also other fighters with various levels of expertise: some of his opponents are simply labeled “Capoeira Fighter” (Crowder) and “Wushu Fighter” (Foo). Of course, he also has to take on a small gang of meatheads, but he has a secret weapon up his sleeve…

We can see all the countless hours of blood, sweat and tears that went into making this movie, and it certainly doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated. For a top Martial Arts viewing experience, we heartily recommend The Protector. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty