Ninja Force Of Assassins (1988)

Ninja Force Of Assassins (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Godfrey Ho

Starring: Jim Davis, Mark Tyler, and Michel Stevens














Ninja Force of Assassins is roughly the 312th movie that Godfrey Ho directed in 1988 alone, though that figure could be off by a few hundred. Maybe we’ve seen too much of his output by this point in time, but our heads were really spinning during this particular bout of unfollowable nonsense. We don’t mean that to have negative connotations; Ho makes the concept of “nonsense” his own and truly redefines the term in his own unique way, and it’s not without its charm. 

Apparently this time around, as if a plot was needed as a pretext for all the cut-and-splice ninja nuttiness, a gangster named Boss Cole is rivals with a White Ninja, meanwhile there’s an Interpol agent who may or may not be a ninja, and there’s something called a Ghost Shadow Squad and this leads to a ton of fighting interspersed with some classic dubbed dialogue. That’s the briefest and most logical way to describe what’s going on, though that may be a lost cause because you can’t apply logic to Mr. Ho’s works, it’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

While many of the hallmarks of Ho’s filmmaking style are on display here, such as the wacky ninja action with plenty of stunts and tricks, the Final Field Fight, the stop-on-a-dime ending, the musical cues that sound suspiciously like “New York Groove”, and the fact that most of the “ninjas” consist of White guys with bizarre hair, there are some notable differences as well. Firstly, Richard Harrison is nowhere in sight, and secondly, the fight scenes, at least in some of the non-ninja brawls, seem a little grittier and more interesting than usual.

That’s the thing about Ninja Force of Assassins: it has many elements of coolness, and together with some solid action, this could have been one of Godfrey Ho’s best, if it just had more coherence. But, it remains typical Ho, with the standard mumbo-jumbo. But it does have a guy who looks like a more-ratlike version of Kevin McDonald of Kids in the Hall fame, and the time-honored Yelling While Shooting a Machine Gun. So there is fun to be had, if you’re in the right frame of mind and/or a fan of the particular Ho brand of silliness.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Hitman (1991)

The Hitman (1991)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Aaron Norris

Starring: Chuck Norris, Michael Parks, Salim Grant, and Al Waxman













Cliff Garret (Norris) is a no-nonsense cop. When his former partner, Delaney (Parks) tries to kill him because Delaney is actually evil, he thinks he can go on with his criminal life. But what Delaney didn’t count on is that Garret is too tough to die, and he survives. Three years after the incident, Garret is now known by the name Grogan and is working undercover in the mob. Sure, his mullet is a little longer and he wears a bolo tie now, but he’s still the same guy - the type of guy that hates criminal scum. 

So he cleverly sets the Italian, French and Iranian gangs against each other. In the midst of all this violence, he takes a young boy under his wing. At first he helps Timmy (Grant) build model airplanes, but at the slightest mention, Garret starts teaching him Martial Arts so he can take on the local bully. So he has a sensitive side, but when Delaney comes calling once again, he’ll be put to the ultimate test. Will he survive?

The Hitman is one of the better Chucks we’ve seen to date. It’s not boring and stodgy like a lot of his other work. It has a nice pace, some classic early-90’s political incorrectness, good action scenes, and Chuck has plenty of winning one-liners. Michael Parks is also great as the baddie. He makes a perfect foil for Chuck, just as he did for Charles Bronson in Death Wish V: The Face of Death (1994). There are some great “hero shots” of Chuck as he triumphantly appears, looming large on your TV. His long red hair may make you think he looks like a male version of Wendy (from Wendy’s), but you’ll be rooting for Chuck all the way here.

A fun thing to do while watching a Chuck movie is, during a dialogue scene while the person who is not Chuck Norris is speaking, keep your eyes trained on Chuck when he’s not talking. His “listening” or “reacting” facial expressions are priceless. That aside, both he and Parks go line-for-line in the dialogue department, and you know Chuck is serious when he wears his bolo-less bolo tie. Yes, he somehow invented a way to wear a bolo tie with no actual bolo. Now that’s innovation. 

But you know he’s a sensitive guy at heart because he builds model airplanes and goes to the aquarium and gives facts about dolphins (although he should know better than to tap the glass...even when he’s trying to be sensitive he can’t help being a little bit aggressive).

Another thing we liked about the movie was the jazzy, downbeat musical score. That and the dark cinematography seem to indicate that this a serious, adult Chuck movie for the 90’s, not any kid stuff. We certainly appreciated that, and the violence (including the time-honored Final Factory Fight) would underline that even more. It would appear to contradict the new “PG-13 Crusader” that Chuck has become in recent years.

Anyway...Marco Luganni (Waxman) is the head of the Italian mobsters, and he commands what we dubbed the “Beard Patrol” because it seems all his consiglieri are beardos. Is that a requirement for being in the Luganni gang? Also we noted the movie was ahead of its time, as two of its principal concerns are bullying and Iranians, two things heavily in the news today. Just call him Norristradamus.

The Hitman is an entertaining and audience-pleasing movie, completely in keeping with the action product of the early 90’s. In other words, it’s totally worth seeing. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, The Video Vacuum!