AKA: The Last Patrol
Directed by: Sheldon Lettich
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Sherri Alexander, Rebecca Cross, Brook Susan Parker, Juliano Mer, and Joe Michael Burke
A 9.5-level earthquake struck California,
turning it into an island. The survivors living in this harsh new
reality refer to it as “A.E.” or, “After Earthquake”. Army Captain Nick Preston (Dolph) visits a junkyard inhabited by Army lady McBride (Alexander), a man named Lucky Simcoe
(Burke) and his perky but somewhat annoying wife Candy (Cross). They
all must learn to get along, as well as dodge pitfalls like a disease
that causes large, moving boils on your skin, and an insane prisoner
(Juliano Mer). Meanwhile, Preston wants to save a bus filled with
children led by a woman named Rainbow (Parker), who may or may not have
the ability to make it rain. Perhaps she should avoid the
post-apocalyptic strip clubs. What will become of these people?
Starting with some narration by Dolph
which explains nothing
really, we realize we are in for a run-of-the-mill post-apocalypse
slog. It seems, in retrospect, that The Last Warrior was doomed from the
start, as a. it was shot during a period when Dolph was hitting the
skids, b. It’s a Nu-Image production from the same period, c. It’s rated
PG-13 so you know nothing REALLY awesome is going to happen, and d.
It’s a talky low-budget drag with minimal locations.
SHOULD be is Dolph doing Mad Max (done the right way) - He should be a
true “Last Warrior” who fights baddies violently and on his own terms.
Instead, it’s a boring production about an encampment filled with
annoying characters who you can’t possibly care about spouting
pseudo-funny dialogue. Solely the strong presence of Dolph keeps this
movie from Iron Thunder (1998) territory, although a more accurate comparison
might be to Digital Man (1995), a similar desert-set “ensemble” film.
Director Lettich, who is known for his
Van Damme (or Daniel Bernhardt, same difference) productions, shot this in Israel,
also where he shot the JCVD vehicle The Order (2001). While that is
interesting, the bottom line is that The Last Warrior adds nothing to
the genre. But the real crime is its dearth of action. This truly is a
case of a movie needing less talk, more rock. Instead of talking our
ears off, Dolph should be making a necklace of them.
happens in this babyish waste of Dolph. It’s one of his worst movies,
easily the equal to Agent Red (2000) in terms of audience letdown. The Last
Warrior is for Dolph completists only.
Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty