Nightstick (1987)

Nightstick (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Joesph Scanlan

Starring: Bruce Fairbairn, Robert Vaughn, Kerrie Keane, John Vernon, and Leslie Nielsen





“You need a good workout to get your mind off those terrorists.”






Jack Calhoun (Fairbairn) is a New York City cop with an attitude, and, surprisingly enough, he plays by his own rules. While the top brass, as exemplified by Melton (Vaughn) don’t approve of his rogue ways, some of the other higher-ups, such as Thad Evans (Nielsen) realize that Calhoun’s ways may be unorthodox, but he gets results. 

When a three-brother team of bomb-makers and extortionists known as the Bantam Brothers begin blowing up buildings in the city, only one man can stop them: Calhoun. Did you think it would be someone else? But it becomes personal when they kidnap his girlfriend, Robin (Keane). Meanwhile, bank manager Adam Beardsly (Vernon) wants answers. Can Calhoun save the day? Find out today!

Seeing as how this was originally made for TV, and has the alternate title of “Calhoun”, presumably there was talk of having a Calhoun TV show. Nightstick does indeed feel like a movie-long pilot episode. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing, as the movie captures some great NYC locations, not the least of which is an impressive aerial shot of the World Trade Center towers. It wouldn’t be an 80’s cop movie without some smooth sax on the soundtrack, and Fairbairn makes a decent enough hero.

Fairbairn looks like a thinner Tom Berenger, and this must be one of the last movies where the hero smokes. That is exactly what makes Nightstick worth seeing - not just 80’s nostalgia, but the fact that besides Fairbairn, we have Robert Vaughn, Leslie Nielsen and John Vernon all together in a kind of “old guys club”. We always applaud when movies take an anti-young-punk attitude and make salty old guys the heroes. You don’t really see that anymore. 

It’s also nice to see Leslie Nielsen before he was typecast in silly comedy roles. Most people forget the pre-2001: A Space Travesty (2000) times, when he was a serious dramatic actor. Plus, in Nightstick, he was a “foodie” before the term was cool.

From a filmmaking standpoint, there are some weird moments of abrupt editing, and the movie on the whole could have used a bit more energy at times. However, Nightstick is a fairly solid, if somewhat tame, cop thriller/procedural. But really, if anything, it’s the familiar faces that make it work. Plus check out that eye-catching box art.

So if you can’t get enough of rogue cops who handle things their own way (and why would you?), feel free to check out Nightstick, but don’t get your expectations too high.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Patriot (1986)

The Patriot (1986)- * *

Directed by: Frank Harris

Starring: Gregg Henry, Jeff Conaway, Michael J. Pollard, Simone Griffeth, Diane Stevenett, Stack Pierce, and Leslie Nielsen



"A Fight For Freedom On The Ocean Floor!"







When smugglers sneak into a nuclear storage facility and steal some nukes, only one man can stop them: ex-Navy SEAL and Vietnam vet Lieutenant Matt Ryder (Henry). Back in 'Nam he was known as "The Patriot". He assembles a team to help him, which includes Howard (Pollard) and Kenwood (Mike Gomez). The top Brass, Admiral Frazer (Nielsen) and Commander Mitchell (Conaway) oversee Ryder, who is one bad dude with an attitude. He wears his shades and rides his Harley to bars and picks up chicks. Will Ryder be able to stop the smugglers?

Somehow this movie manages to fill up 90 minutes with not very much happening. There are only mere strands of a plot with some filler in-between. Sure, there are some familiar faces, which is nice, but it's not enough. NOT ENOUGH HAPPENS! However, if you want to see Michael J. Pollard play Twister with a cheerleader you can see it here.

There's a Barfight at The Chili Factory (that should have been the title for this movie, come to think of it) which is pretty lackluster, like the rest of this dull film. The dummies that steal the nuke, the guys that look like David Spade and Andre Agassi, are so dumb, it's hard to believe that A. They could break into ANY kind of facility and B. That they are a serious threat - so the movie has no suspense. The bad guys just dance around to the song "Dance the Night Away" by Randy and Liz Jackson. They're not exactly Ahmadinejad.

The babyish, cackling Pollard is always nice to see, as was Leslie Nielsen in a serious role. It was before he was typecast as a wacky comic actor. It's hard to believe, in 2010, that there was ever a time before Wrongfully Accused (1998) and 2001: A Space Travesty (2000), but there it is for the world to see. There was a scene with just Henry, Nielsen and Conaway in a room talking, which was cool, but it could have been awesome if there was some tension or fireworks.

The action largely takes place on an oil rig, and has to do with explosions. Is BP aware of this? It's almost eerie to watch. Almost. Technical notes: John Barrett of American Kickboxer 1 (1990) and Shootfighter (1992) fame and Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th fame are listed as Stuntmen. The screenplay was co-written by Katt Shea Ruben of The Devastator (1985) fame.

In all, this bland film could have used MORE - more action, more tension, more violence, more edge, more Nielsen, more ANYTHING! It's not BAD per se, but despite the good cast, The Patriot is, sadly, lacking.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty