The Art Of Dying (1991)

The Art Of Dying (1991)-* * *

Directed by: Wings Hauser

Starring: Wings Hauser, Kathleen Kinmont, Gary Werntz, Mitch Hara, Henry Brown, T.C. Warner, and Michael J. Pollard












Jack (Wings) is an L.A. Vice detective who plays by his own rules. Sure, he does what he wants when he wants, but he always helps the teenage runaways who come to town. He develops an especially soft spot for Janet (Warner), a 16 year old girl who has come to Hollywood to be a star. However, something sinister is brewing in tinseltown. A psychotic filmmaker named Roscoe (Werntz) and his assistant, a man by the name of Latin Jerry (Hara) are luring aspiring actors into their studio. They then recreate famous death scenes from movies such as The Deer Hunter (1978), Psycho (1960) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), but they do it for real! Roscoe even claims directors like Cimino, DePalma, Scorsese and Hitchcock are just fakes, and he’s the real thing. When Janet gets mixed up in this world - as does Jack's gal-pal Holly (Kinmont) - he goes rogue to take down the nefarious filmmakers. That’s after he’s suspended from the force, of course.  Will anyone actually see THE ART OF DYING?

This is Wings’ third directorial effort, after Coldfire (1990) and Living To Die (1990). And while PM movies are known for showing the seamier side of L.A., here they go all out and portray it at its seamiest - as nothing more than a trap to ensnare young people who don’t know any better into a horrible life, or even death. Wings, as Jack, a man who’s struggling against the tide of filth to help the kids, is his usual charismatic self, and the relationship issues he has with Kinmont allow for some good interplay between them. It’s nice to see Kinmont in a non-Lamas-supporting role. She works very well with Wings who controls this dark thriller (it’s not really an action movie per se) quite well.

Backing Wings and Kinmont up are a nice cast of supporters: Sarah Douglas of Steele Justice (1987) fame plays Wings’ fellow cop who seems to have a crush on him, Sydney Lassick has a bit part as a roadside cafe owner, and last but not least is Michael J. Pollard, who brings his weird mush-mouthiness and strange affect to the role of some kind of police psychologist named Delbert. It seems to fit.

Seeing as The Art of Dying has a “movie within a movie” theme, as well as its meditations on the concept of the snuff film, while it probably wasn’t influenced too much by Snuff (1976), it does seem to have Michael Powell’s Peeping Tom (1960) in mind. Regardless, TAOD truly was the 8mm (1999) of its day. To relate it back to movies discussed here on this site, the plot is really very similar to King of the Kickboxers (1990), in the idea that it lures unsuspecting actors into their death on film. To add another layer of “meta”, if I may, Wings passes a movie marquee playing the movie Misery (1990). So there’s a lot of layers here.

While the movie can be a tad bit unfocused at times, dealing with bunch of different issues and characters right from the jump, and it moves at what would be considered a slower pace than the kids of today are used to (but who cares about those stupid little punks anyway), it’s all worth it when Wings is suspended from the force by a perfect BYC (Ring of Steel's Brown), and he spends his days at the beach wearing a nice trenchcoat/bathing suit combo with sunglasses, and feeding a rabbit tequila! Isn’t that what you would do if you were kicked off the force?

It wouldn’t be a Wings-directed PM movie without a sax-drenched soundtrack, and The Art of Dying doesn’t disappoint. It underlines the seedy elements at work. This whole movie screams “Cinemax in the 90’s”, what with its overall smutty/sexy/steamy tone or whatever you want to call it. But it has some nice ideas at work, a very good cast, and Wings in top form. To see Wings doing what he does best, check out The Art of Dying.

Also check out our buddy DTVC's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

I Come In Peace (1990)

I Come In Peace (1990)-* * *1\2

AKA: Dark Angel

Directed by: Craig R. Baxley

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, Brian Benben, Betsy Brantley, Jesse Vint, Michael J. Pollard, and Matthias Hues

Jack Caine (Lundgren) is a Houston cop on the edge. When his partner is killed by sinister drug lord Victor Manning (Howard), Caine wants revenge. But his new partner is by-the-book, straitlaced Special Agent Smith (Benben). As you might expect, the unkempt, roguish Caine doesn’t get along at first with the fastidious Smith, but they forge an uneasy alliance. Mainly because, in addition to the drug war they’re fighting with shady underworld types, an evil alien (Hues) with super-strength is ravaging the city. He’s murdering earthlings because human endorphins are needed to make a valuable drug on the planet he comes from. A “good alien” is chasing him down as well. On top of all this, Caine is trying to repair his relationship with ex-girlfriend/coroner Diane (Brantley).

I Come in Peace is a very entertaining movie, mainly because the plot actually contains some very interesting ideas. It’s all done with a lot of good energy, and like director Baxley’s other films Action Jackson (1988) and Stone Cold (1991), it is well-written, containing some memorable lines.

It was also a rare chance to see Matthias Hues in the movie theater. Hues is a bad guy in just about every movie he’s ever been in, and perhaps the ultimate face-off is Dolph Lundgren and Matthias Hues. This is the only movie they’ve appeared in together to date. It’s certainly a treat to see them together, especially in the final battle (which naturally occurs in an abandoned factory). 

Hues later played a similar role in Digital Man (1995), but I Come In Peace is a far superior movie. He only says one line, but he growls a lot. Speaking of action heroes, Brian Benben plays the humorous counterweight to all this, and if this movie was made today, the role would probably be played by Rob Schneider. About the “good alien”, the role could also have been played by Michael Ironside.

Hues’ weapon of choice are Phantasm-like flying CD’s, and there is other cool, high-tech weaponry as well. The main force of goons in the film are guys in suits inexplicably named “The White Boys”. The name certainly inspires fear on the streets, and it’s a lot of fun watching the other characters in the movie talk about them with a straight face.

There are plenty of impressive stunts, blow-ups and special effects, and it’s all done with style. It also has plenty of great music (the song choices of bands such as XYZ and Shooting Star add a lot), and the excellent Jan Hammer score holds it all together. It’s truly a shame no soundtrack has been released on CD.

For classic early-90’s fun starring two genre heavyweights - with a twist - you can’t top I Come In Peace.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Heated Vengeance (1985)

Heated Vengeance (1985)-*

Directed by: Edward D. Murphy

Starring: Richard Hatch, Michael J. Pollard, Jolina Mitchell-Collins, Robert Walker, Dennis Patrick, Mills Watson, and Cameron Dye











Lt. Joe Hoffman (Hatch) is a Vietnam veteran who, many years after the end of the war, decides to go back to the “Golden Triangle” to find his lost love, Michelle Twassoon (Mitchell-Collins). She was an interpreter during the war, and they fell in love. They even had a precocious, squeaky-voiced son together. But trouble looms for Hoffman in the form of Larry Bingo (Max) - yes, LARRY BINGO is his name. He’s a disgraced army dude who was kicked out of the service for raping one of the locals back during the war. Now he’s a drug runner along with his compatriots Snake (Pollard) and Bandit (Dye). Coincidentally, they run into Hoffman now, in the present day, and, seeing as how Hoffman was Bingo’s commanding officer, and was largely responsible for his dishonorable discharge, Bingo now wants revenge.

He kidnaps Hoffman and stashes him away deep in their jungle hideout. However, Hoffman escapes and has to shoot his way out. Meanwhile, Charlie Pope (Patrick), a toilet salesman (it just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it?) teams up with Michelle and her son to try and find Hoffman. Will these star-crossed lovers ever reunite?

Okay. For a movie called "Heated Vengeance” and with a tagline like “Lt. Hoffman thought the war was over. He was wrong!”, and with the fact that it was shot primarily in the Philippines and released by Media, one would think this would be a no-brainer awesome action movie. Sadly, there is little heat, minimal vengeance, and a lot of unnecessary talking and stupidity.  Technically, there is some mild vengeance, as Hoffman must shoot some of his captors, and Richard Hatch throws his hatch into the ring as being yet another jungle-adaptive action hero, but this is a drama/love story with mild action elements. It uses the Vietnam war as background. Imagine a less-good Final Mission (1984) or First Blood (1982). Or a REALLY degraded Deadly Prey (1987). Everything about this movie is a letdown, from Hoffman’s strange son, to the slow pace, to a botched use of a flamethrower to the choice of naming the main antagonist “Bingo”.

Naturally, the VHS box prominently displays the flamethrower, and mistakenly labels Bingo as “Binko” but who really cares anyway, it’s stupid both ways.  The ending is completely abrupt and feels unfinished, like they had to release it that day and didn’t get to finish editing, or even shooting the complete movie. That just adds to the unfulfilling feel of Heated Vengeance. To add insult to injury, the ever-wacky Michael J. Pollard can’t save the movie with his childlike mush-mouthiness and there’s even further silliness with “comedic” sound effects and tuba music at inappropriate times.

Like many AIP movies, the featured song is far better than the movie itself, and high marks go to Jim Price and his song “Second Chances”.  But this one good aspect can’t support the entire movie. It’s all down hill from there.

Heated Vengeance is a pretty cut-and-dry disappointment.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Patriot (1986)

The Patriot (1986)- * *

Directed by: Frank Harris

Starring: Gregg Henry, Jeff Conaway, Michael J. Pollard, Simone Griffeth, Diane Stevenett, Stack Pierce, and Leslie Nielsen



"A Fight For Freedom On The Ocean Floor!"







When smugglers sneak into a nuclear storage facility and steal some nukes, only one man can stop them: ex-Navy SEAL and Vietnam vet Lieutenant Matt Ryder (Henry). Back in 'Nam he was known as "The Patriot". He assembles a team to help him, which includes Howard (Pollard) and Kenwood (Mike Gomez). The top Brass, Admiral Frazer (Nielsen) and Commander Mitchell (Conaway) oversee Ryder, who is one bad dude with an attitude. He wears his shades and rides his Harley to bars and picks up chicks. Will Ryder be able to stop the smugglers?

Somehow this movie manages to fill up 90 minutes with not very much happening. There are only mere strands of a plot with some filler in-between. Sure, there are some familiar faces, which is nice, but it's not enough. NOT ENOUGH HAPPENS! However, if you want to see Michael J. Pollard play Twister with a cheerleader you can see it here.

There's a Barfight at The Chili Factory (that should have been the title for this movie, come to think of it) which is pretty lackluster, like the rest of this dull film. The dummies that steal the nuke, the guys that look like David Spade and Andre Agassi, are so dumb, it's hard to believe that A. They could break into ANY kind of facility and B. That they are a serious threat - so the movie has no suspense. The bad guys just dance around to the song "Dance the Night Away" by Randy and Liz Jackson. They're not exactly Ahmadinejad.

The babyish, cackling Pollard is always nice to see, as was Leslie Nielsen in a serious role. It was before he was typecast as a wacky comic actor. It's hard to believe, in 2010, that there was ever a time before Wrongfully Accused (1998) and 2001: A Space Travesty (2000), but there it is for the world to see. There was a scene with just Henry, Nielsen and Conaway in a room talking, which was cool, but it could have been awesome if there was some tension or fireworks.

The action largely takes place on an oil rig, and has to do with explosions. Is BP aware of this? It's almost eerie to watch. Almost. Technical notes: John Barrett of American Kickboxer 1 (1990) and Shootfighter (1992) fame and Kane Hodder of Friday the 13th fame are listed as Stuntmen. The screenplay was co-written by Katt Shea Ruben of The Devastator (1985) fame.

In all, this bland film could have used MORE - more action, more tension, more violence, more edge, more Nielsen, more ANYTHING! It's not BAD per se, but despite the good cast, The Patriot is, sadly, lacking.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty