Urban Warriors (1987)

 

Urban Warriors (1987)- * *1\2

Directed by: Giuseppe Vari

Starring: Karl Landgren, Maurice Poli, Bjorn Hammer, Malisa Longo, Tiziana Altieri, and Alex Vitale

Brad (Landgren), Maury (Hammer), and Stan (Poli) are scientists and co-workers. One day they're at work, just minding their own business doing science stuff, and there is a nuclear apocalypse. Everything blows up and the world becomes your classic wasteland. Our trio manages to survive the blast, and they even scrounge their way to find some canned food. But now they've got a bigger problem on their hands: roving bands of murderous mutants led by a meathead known only as Mutant Leader (Vitale). Faced with this threat, the formerly white-coated nerd Brad becomes a ripped action hero for the 80's. Of course, two women also survived the devastation: Julia Reiner (Longo) and Angela (Altieri) - but which one can he trust? After being put on "trial" by the baddies, they drive around in a rock quarry for a while, which is how they settle their differences in the future. Or maybe the past. Who will survive the onslaught of the URBAN WARRIORS?



We all love a good Italian Post-Apocalypse film (or Post-Ap's, as we call them) - but it appears that by 1987, we had already seen the best the genre had to offer: The New Gladiators (1984), Escape From the Bronx (1983), 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982), Warriors of the Wasteland (1983), 2019: After the Fall of New York (1983) among certain others. Note those early-80's release dates. If Urban Warriors is any indication, the genre was running out of steam. The Italian film industry in general was on the decline, and budgets were just not what they used to be. By this time, the focus was on the Exploding Hutters shot in the Philippines such as Born to Fight (1989), Strike Commando (1987), and Robowar (1988), to name just a few examples. It probably also didn't help that director Giuseppe Vari was around 71 years old at the time, and this was his last film. He literally was days away from retirement, and he hadn't directed a film for a decade at this point in his career. He was probably tired. It's almost like a poor hobo on the street: would anyone spare a dime for Urban Warriors?



Apparently, Cannon did, as they picked up the film and released it in America on VHS. Which leads us to this fact: the most interesting thing about Urban Warriors has nothing to do with the film. The VHS tape was part of Michael Dudikoff's Action Adventure Theater, a series that featured the Dude himself introducing each film. He even makes reference to a Cannon project that was never made. Which, knowing the history of Cannon and how many irons they always had in the fire, is not at all surprising.



There is some familiar-looking stock footage of nuke tests and lava flows to show that our beloved apocalypse has finally happened. Our three scientist heroes fumble around underground for a while after that. Then, for a while, we go into an Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) scenario. Even Paolo Rustichelli's score is very Carpenter-esque most of the time, except for during the final demolition derby, where the theme is a lot like White Lines by Grandmaster Flash & Melle Mel.



If this film seems a lot like The Final Executioner (1984) or The Bronx Executioner (1989), it's because it basically is. Everyone's recycling footage from everyone else, so it's really impossible (not to mention pointless) to try and figure out who came first. But the bottom line is, if you like roving gangs of punks in desolate, dusty wastelands, car/motorcycle chases, and plenty of abandoned buildings and warehouses, you'll find comfort in the fact that this is another place to find those things.


You gotta give it to the Italians, at least they always tried. Despite the low budget, there's a sort of scrappiness to the proceedings, and in the face of financial lack, they must've said something like, "We'll do it anyway!" Unfortunately, the film needed more drive. Which is ironic, considering how much driving goes on. Ideas that haven't been done before, and energy, must have been hard to come by at this point. So a certain slow, bland listlessness sets in.


Giuseppe Vari, like a lot of so-called "journeyman" directors, worked in "Vari"ous genres during his long and noteworthy career. Westerns, erotic films, comedies, Poliziotteschi, dramas, peplums and more. Whatever was needed at the time in the Italian film industry, it appears that he rose to the challenge. Yes, it could be argued that this, his final film, is him going out on an off note. It could also be argued that it's completely in keeping with the rest of his lengthy filmography: fulfilling a genre need when it was needed.


Is Urban Warriors the best Post-Ap ever made? No, not by a country mile. But as a potential video store choice in the 80's or 90's, made even more attractive by the Michael Dudikoff's Action Adventure Theater branding, it was undoubtedly part of the rich tapestry of the VHS rental world. The Cannon-Dudikoff connection is why this film is even remembered at all in the U.S., most likely. So, we choose - despite 'Urban's glaring quality issues - to dwell on the positives.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Commando Squad (1987)

Commando Squad (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: Kathy Shower, Brian Thompson, Sid Haig, Marie Windsor, Robert Quarry, William Smith, and Ross Hagen

Kat Withers (Shower) is an L.A. narcotics agent who cleans up the trash on the streets and asks questions later. Her boss, Milo (Quarry) informs her that a "renegade federal agent" named Morgan Denny (Smith) and his sidekicks Iggy (Haig) and Cowboy (Hagen) have not only moved their drug operation south of the border to Mexico, but that they've also kidnapped Withers's boyfriend Clint Jensen (Thompson). Never fearing a fight, Withers goes in search of her beloved Clint. Along the way, she faces many obstacles and challenges - but will Kat and Clint stop the baddies and their drug running? Is Kat Withers a one-woman COMMANDO SQUAD?


Fred Olen Ray is certainly no stranger to the action genre, having directed Armed Response (1986) and Operation Cobra (1997), among others. While Commando Squad boasts a strong first half, Ray seems to have lost interest around the halfway mark. Still, 'Squad has plenty to offer the 80's action film fan. For one thing, the cast of B-Movie favorites is incredibly strong. It's almost literally an all-star cast as Shower, Quarry, Smith, Hagen, Haig and Thompson are backed with Mel Welles, Russ Tamblyn, Ray regular Dawn Wildsmith, and Tane McClure and Michelle Bauer in small roles.


Perhaps the most inspired casting choice was Golden Age actress Marie Windsor as the Machine Gun Joe character, Casey. Not only that, she uses her employment at Hollywood Book & Poster as her cover! A poster for the John Savage film Soldier's Revenge (1986) is clearly seen in this scene, as are other notable background posters. Also, instead of a sign that says either Open or Closed, theirs says We Be Here or We Be Gone. Maybe locals to the area can tell us if that's their real sign.


Despite the slowdown of the second half, this is still a great role for Kathy Shower. Finally, we get to see her shooting many people and really getting in on the action. To show that she's undercover and serious, she wears a black-haired wig that gets her resembling Pat Benatar more than you might think. Interestingly, on the American VHS box cover we see Shower's blonde hair. On foreign issues, she had the short black hair. It must be a cultural thing.


From the outset, we're taken in by the sleazy backdrop, the sax and wailing guitar on the soundtrack, Shower's attitude and her shooting of baddies, and of course the fact that this is "One Last Job" for her, a cliche we always love. There's also a coke deal gone wrong, naturally enough. After they're ensconced in Mexico, we do get some action and blow-ups, including an exploding helicopter. We also get some classic Prerequisite Torture of the hero, in this case Brian Thompson. We're happy he was playing a good guy, similar to his role in Hired to Kill (1990). Sid Haig wears a Miami Vice-style white suit (remember this was 1987), and William Smith's voice is its normal, gravelly self.


A movie highlight occurs when we see that Kat Withers has what they call a Vengeance Knife. Apparently, this is a knife with an acid-filled blade. That could be the title for a film on its own.


While, overall, the whole of Commando Squad should have taken place on the streets, as it did in the first half, and things become a bit soft after that, there still is plenty of 80's charm and other noteworthy aspects that make it worth checking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty
 

Nasty Hero (1987)

Nasty Hero (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Nick Barwood

Starring: Scott Feraco, Carlos Palomino, Raymond Serra, Robert Sedgwick, Teresa Blake, Jon Tenney, Rosanna DaVon, and Mike Starr

Chase (Feraco) is a cool dude with an attitude. His attitude is warranted, however, because some baddies framed him for car theft and he was left to rot in jail for six months. All Chase wants to do is work as a sort of "car courier" who delivers cars from Vic's (Serra) garage to their wealthy clientele. But the evil Bradford (Sedgwick) is in cahoots with corrupt cop Hackett (Starr) in a nationwide car theft ring. When the baddies realize it's not so easy to get rid of the appropriately-named Chase, they kidnap Yolanda (DaVon), the niece of his buddy Carlos (Palomino) and Chase's love interest, and Carlos's girlfriend Virginia (Blake). Now Chase and Carlos have to save the cars, the girls, and the day. With the odds stacked against them, Chase may still have one certain trick up his sleeve...but will he be the NASTY HERO everyone expects him to be?


Nasty Hero is a completely enjoyable 80's gem that is unheralded and just waiting to be rediscovered. It's a sort of cross between Banzai Runner (1987) and No Man's Land (1987), but with a strong dash of Miami Vice thrown into the mix, thanks to its locations in and around the Miami area during 1986-87 when Miami Vice was at its height. The female leads, DaVon and Blake, both appeared in episodes of 'Vice.

Scott Feraco makes for a strong central hero, and he has a great voice, which shines during the opening voiceover. The score by Ross Levinson is superlative and perfect for the subject matter of the film. So right from the jump, from the audio aspects alone, the viewer is sucked in and the movie never lets go. It's a shame that Feraco only has six known acting credits to his name, and doubly a shame that none of them are with Vince Murdocco. The posters would be amazing: FERACO and MURDOCCO in...Blood Justice. Or something like that.



Further praise must go to the lighting, which is colorful and 80's-tastic, and Feraco is always shown in a heroic and dramatic shadow. The camerawork must be singled out for accolades as well, which has a lot of Sam Raimi-esque energy to it. Amazingly, Nasty Hero is the only credit for director Nick Barwood, who clearly had talent and a big future in filmmaking. What happened we may never know, but Barwood delivered the goods here and more people need to see that and appreciate it.



The icing on the cake is that Nasty Hero is a mere 79 minutes. It's actually more like 75 before the credits. We're always saying how movies are too long, and now someone is finally, FINALLY listening. It has to not be a coincidence that fun, enjoyable movies like Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991) and Nasty Hero are 79 minutes and they breeze by, while ponderous, self-indulgent opuses that shall remain nameless are what Hollywood seems to prefer. Nasty Hero can proudly say it's in the tradition of "have some fun and get out" films that don't take up much of your time, but they're worthwhile because they pack in all the good stuff that you want to see.


Nasty Hero has a good good guy, a bad bad guy, car chases, beat-ups, and the time-honored nightclub scene. There's really nothing to dislike about it. Vinegar Syndrome should release it on Blu-ray, so then it will be out of VHS purgatory and more readily available for all to see.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddies at Bulletproof Action!

Two Wrongs Make A Right (1987)

Two Wrongs Make A Right (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Brown 

Starring: Ivan Rogers, Ron Blackstone, Rich Komenich, Dossie Sansing, R. Michael Pyle, Michael Rizk, Eva Wu and Abby The Parrot

Fletcher Quinn (Rogers) is an Indiana-based club owner and one of the smoothest, suavest guys in town. When the evil gangster Jack Balentine (Blackstone) sends his goons after him, including the dastardly Lake (Komenich), so they can shake down Quinn because they want his club, they soon find out they've got another thing coming. You don't mess with Fletcher Quinn. While the police - Lt. Zander (Pyle) and Sgt. Vellosi (Rizk) - are tracking Quinn's every move, Quinn has to protect his girlfriend Jayna (Wu) and himself from the baddies who want him dead. According to Quinn's buddy Winston (Sansing), "Two wrongs don't make a right, but a man's got to do what a man's got to do." Will Fletcher Quinn be the one to do it?


When, generally speaking, people talk about 80's movies, your average film fan off the street has some idea of what that means to them - typically John Hughes, E.T., Spielberg, Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones, maybe the Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street sagas. But there is a whole other world out there - and Ivan Rogers never seems to enter the conversation. Two Wrongs Make A Right, filmed in 1986 - the same year as Pretty in Pink - and released in 1987, is an 80's movie too. Perhaps it's time that people take a look back at Rogers and reassess his output.


That being said, Two Wrongs falls somewhere in the middle of the Rogers canon that we've seen so far. It's better than Ballbuster (1990) but not as good as the mighty One Way Out (1987). Sadly, they can't all be One Way Out. That's a fact of life we're slowly coming to terms with. Director Robert Brown was the assistant director of One Way Out, so we were hoping he'd bring more of that sort of style to the proceedings. As it happens, Two Wrongs was more of a warmup towards Rogers's magnum opus. At least it's shorter than the overlong Ballbuster, so even if it's not entirely your cup of tea, it won't take up much of your time.

There are some very silly shootouts and a ridiculous barfight on display. As usual, Rogers looks like Richard Pryor and doesn't say that much. There are some catchy music cues and plenty of the time-honored sax on the soundtrack. While we do praise the 85-minute running time, even with that there are plenty of slow moments and the film tends to drag. There isn't a ton of forward momentum and very little oomph along the way.


Some Rogers regulars (which sounds a bit like something from the Civil War) are present and accounted for, such as Rich Komenich and Dossie Sansing - credited as Dosey Samsing, and we're not sure which one is correct but it's likely not the latter - still with his Kool Moe Dee sunglasses. We would say he steals the movie, but the guy who runs the used car lot really shines. We don't know his name, but we would have liked to have seen more of him. One of the charms of low-budget, regional film production is seeing semi-professional or non-professional actors at work. You get plenty of that in the Rogers oevre.

Could you say that Ivan Rogers put Indiana film production on the map? We're not talking about Hollywood productions that have shot films there and then left. We're talking about homegrown productions from the Hoosier State. Not being from Indiana, we perhaps would need an expert on local history to give us the facts. But if there is an Indiana walk of fame, surely Ivan Rogers should be on it.

Two Wrongs Make a Right, like other Rogers films, has a spotty and underwhelming release history. There was a U.S. VHS release on Unicorn Video that's even rarer now than it was back when it originally came out. Notably, there's a Finnish VHS release under the title 'Quinn-Kostaja' that actually features Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs on the cover! Sure, Ivan is on the back (which, in this case, makes it all the more confusing) but that definitely qualifies as a "WTF Moment" in the annals of videoland.


In the end, as stated earlier, Two Wrongs is midrange Rogers. It lacks pizazz, and for that reason, if you haven't seen One Way Out, see that first before venturing out further into Rogersland.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Tigershark (1987)

 

Tigershark (1987)- * *1\2

Directed by: Emmett Alston 

Starring: Mike Stone, Pamela Jean Bryant, Eva Winnercans, Kasey Antonio, Vic Silayan, Roy Alvarez, and John Quade

"In 'Nam we called him Tigershark, because he stalked like a tiger, and fought like a shark."
- Cowboy

Tava Parker (Stone) is a Vietnam vet who now teaches Martial Arts to kids at the Pai-O-Hana Karate School in Hawaii. When his girlfriend Karen Kirkland (Bryant) is kidnapped, along with other women such as Sherry and Aloha (Eva Winnercrans and Kasey Antonio, respectively, in their only screen roles), Tava "Tigershark" Parker snaps into action. He travels to the Philippines (where else?) and links up with his old 'Nam buddy Dave "Cowboy" Reynolds (Quade), and his local contact, the taxi driver Tony (Alvarez). Of course, the mission is not going to be easy, as the evil commie Col. Barro (Silayan) is holding the ladies hostage. Will our three heroes rescue the three hostages? And what will become of the TIGERSHARK?


Mike Stone, known for being a Martial Artist, stuntman, and associate of Elvis, here gets his one and only starring role. Just as Martin Kove sliced that pineapple with a samurai sword in Shootfighter (1993), here Stone kicks coconuts off a stand and shatters them. It's a very Hawaiian form of Martial Arts. In his quest to save the girls, he gets involved in a Punchfighting-type scenario, where the two fighters are chained together at the wrists, and they wear a sort of sandal with a metal piece on it that would definitely incapacitate the opponent. 

As if that wasn't enough, there is a cockfight going on at the same time, and the blood from said cockfight is poured on the sandals. Well, that's what the screaming audience calls entertainment, I suppose.

While Stone is decent enough in the lead, and he can definitely carry the movie, he was helped a lot by John Quade as Cowboy. He puts in an energetic performance and he strongly resembles Charles Durning. Pamela Jean Bryant as Karen is always a pleasant sight to see, especially since the last time we saw her was in the classic "Geteven" (1993), which is a Comeuppance favorite.

Director Emmett Alston, known around these parts for 9 Deaths of the Ninja (1985) and his last directorial effort, Little Ninjas (1993) - but also for New Year's Evil (1980) - really makes you wait for any of the machine gun shootin', hut-explodin' , guard-tower-fallin' action. Most of it is saved for the grand finale. That's all well and good, but the movie overall seems to have a lack of forward drive and it drags in many places. Not that it's bad, per se, but because it has an overly simplistic plot, it should have been filled with many more thrills along the way.

Mike Stone wrote the script along with fan favorite Ivan Rogers. To the film's great detriment, Rogers does not appear on screen at any time. He was just on board in a writing capacity. If Rogers was in front of the camera, that would have improved things tremendously. Too bad that couldn't have happened.

Much like how Rage to Kill (1988) ended with the tender ballad "Do You Remember Love?" after countless people had been slaughtered, Tigershark goes down the same road for its end credits song. After many people are beat up, blown up, shot, or in any case mangled or killed, the soaring, midtempo adult-contemporary number "Two People, One Heart" by Joe Fagin and Tessa Niles croons away on the soundtrack. The song is very catchy and it's the perfect thing to have stuck in your head as you think back to Tigershark's Vietnam flashback scene.


While Tigershark did get a U.S. VHS release on New World, and had decent distribution worldwide at the time (especially compared to some of its contemporaries), it still appears to be little-seen and not very well-loved. That's not entirely fair, but let's face it, it is pretty middle-of-the-road stuff. It's not good enough to be great or bad enough to be awful. That being said, it does have its moments, however. But, for us at least, it's one-time-watch territory.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ultimax Force (1987)

 

Ultimax Force (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Willy Milan

Starring: Kermith Simpson, Ray Uhen, Audrey Miller, Vivian Cheung, Eric Hahn, Arnold Nicolas, Henry Strzalkowski, Jeremy Ladd, Vincent Giffin, and Patrick Scott

After an opening onscreen crawl informing us of the sad situation involving POW's in Vietnam, we then cut to the Ninja Society of California, where there is a ninja showdown involving extensive sword battles. After the ninja fight, the sensei, Hiroshi, informs the ninja school that a particular POW, Captain Dave Morgan (Simpson), is being held in 'Nam by the evil Col. Minh (Uhen). Morgan's sister Audrey (Miller) has, in their parlance, "invoked the code". In other words, the unbreakable bond between ninja warriors to never leave a brother behind.




So these 'American Ninjas', led by Chris Burton (Nicholas), but including Dick Foster (Ladd), Mike Dobson (Giffin), and Bill Norton (Scott) - the last of which has a thick New York accent not entirely befitting of a ninja as we know them - fly to Laos to link up with local contact Lloyd Mitchum (Hahn). Then our heroes are off to Vietnam to fight the baddies and rescue the POW's. Along the way, they meet a helpful woman named Phoung (Cheung), the daughter of a local woman and an American serviceman. She wants our ninjas to help her escape the hellhole she's living in now and escape to America. Will our group of heroes - presumably the ULTIMAX FORCE we've been hearing so much about - complete their mission?

Ultimax Force is a film that poses a question to the audience. That question is: what is Ultimax? And, secondarily, how much Ultimax can you stand? It doesn't have to be much, as the film is only about 80 minutes long, as most movies should be.

During that time, we get a lot of jungle action, as this is a solid entry in the Philippines-shot jungle genre. Huts will explode, but the coolest aspect of Ultimax Force is that our heroes are in full ninja regalia as they mow down baddies with Uzis. You don't see that every day. They also make full use of their ninja abilities to hide and remain unseen until just the right moment. And then more baddies wearing triangular rice paddy hats get blown away with ninjas firing their machine guns. It works.

What would a film of this sort be without the time-honored barfight, at least one scene of Prerequisite Torture, and a synth-based soundtrack? Also like a lot of movies of this kind, it slows down right before the climax and there are some doldrums right before the explosive finale. You wouldn't think something with this brief a running time could actually slow down too much, but it does.

Maybe because there's not much plot to speak of, and what plot there is happens to be a "go to Vietnam and rescue the hostages" scenario we've seen countless times before. But we don't watch these movies for new and different plot innovations. We watch them to see huts explode, and, if time allows, to watch white guys in ninja getups blast people with automatic weapons. Which happens in spades here, so we're more than satisfied.

It does have a very cool ending, and, speaking of cool, our ninja team leader Chris Burton (Arnold Nicholas's only screen credit to date) wears a ninja headband in his casual, off hours, even when he's out of ninja uniform. Additionally, you know this is a Philippines-shot film because it features Henry Strzalkowski, and it was written by Joe Mari Avellana.

We weren't familiar with director Willy Milan, but hopefully we'll come across more of his work in the future. However, we should count ourselves as lucky we've seen this movie. It was on our must-see rare movie list for many years, because its release history has been spotty. In America, it was nonexistent, as it never received a VHS or DVD release. Sometime in the early 2000's it received a release on the Pegasus label in Europe, and another release as its German title Ruckus 2.


In the end, despite some slow moments, Ultimax Force is well worth seeing. It mixes the sillier aspects with the more explosive bits in a pleasing way. Fans of the jungle genre will most likely get the most out of it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hell Hunters (1987)

Hell Hunters (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Ernest Ritter Von Theumer

Starring: George Lazenby, Maud Adams, Russ McCubbin, William Berger, Eduardo Conde, Neila Cozza, Romulo Arantes, Candice Daly, and Stewart Granger

A woman named Amanda (Adams) is a Nazi hunter. She's hot on the trail of Martin Hoffmann (Granger), who, like a lot of his baddie brethren, absconded to Brazil. While in hiding on the outskirts of Rio, Hoffmann develops a serum (why are they always developing serums?) which would turn the world into faithful fascist followers. Amanda's daughter Ally (Daly) is attending USC nursing school and isn't at all familiar with her mom's Nazi-hunting ways. But, due to an unfortunate turn of events involving not just her mom but also her dad, Karl (Berger), Ally is forced to travel to Brazil to root out the Nazis herself.

Well, she does have help in the form of a hunk named Tonio (Arantes), a babe named Nelia (Cozza), and a Jack S. Daniels-style wild n' crazy guy named Nelson "Kong" Webster (McCubbin). This ragtag team of heroes will not only have to face off against Hoffmann, but also his goons, including lead goon Heinrich (Lazenby) and sub-goon El Pasado (Conde). The South American jungles can sure be hell...but will that stop the plucky HELL HUNTERS from completing their mission? Find out today...

Hell Hunters gets off to a bit of a slow start but gradually picks up speed. It slowly accelerates until its explosive conclusion, and, in the end, is a satisfying viewing experience. It's more or less an Exploding Hutter, but the Nazi hunting angle gives it a bit of a difference. The main thing that sets Hell Hunters apart from its jungle-dwelling cohorts of the day are the characters. Not only the prominent ones, but the little ones as well. There's always something wacky or at the very least mildly interesting going on. The supporting players help a lot, and the main cast puts it over the top. 

Stewart Granger is excellent as the main Nazi baddie. He puts in a charismatic, fun performance that only someone with a long career and a lot of experience could refine to that sort of point. Incidentally, Hoffmann has a framed picture of Hitler on his wall and a swastika flag in the dining room. Even his home decor screams "Man, I'm a devoted Nazi". He screens films of Nazi rallies in his den for himself and his buddies to watch as they smoke cigars, drink Cognac (presumably) and reminisce grandly about "the good old days". We haven't seen a Nazi this dedicated since John Savage had an evil glove drawer in Red Scorpion 2 (1994).

The assassin El Pasado is a real gem as well. He has one of the thickest unibrows we've ever seen, dresses in a white suit, and is heavily balding, except for a luxurious ponytail. Hey, it may look funny to you - and you'd be right - but you wouldn't want to see him coming for you in a dark alley at night. Thankfully, on the side of the good guys we have Kong. If anyone could possibly steal the movie from Granger, it's McCubbin. He's really a guy you'd want on your side. You can tell he likes to have a good time, and it's infectious.

The leading lady isn't Maud Adams as advertised, it's really Candice Daly from Cop Game (1988). Perhaps the people advertising the film were trying to play up the James Bond connection insofar as Adams and Lazenby are concerned. Hell Hunters isn't particularly Bond-esque but it does stand on its own two feet as an enjoyable jungle/Exploding Hutter. 

When the very first line of the movie is something along the lines of "no more mistakes!" - which typically we have to wait until about mid-movie to hear - and ends with a triumphant Exploding Helicopter, you know Hell Hunters is worth checking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Savage Harbor (1987)

 

Savage Harbor (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Carl Monson

Starring: Frank Stallone, Chris Mitchum, Karen Mayo-Chandler, Greta Blackburn, Nicolas Worth, Anthony Caruso, and Lisa Loring

****1300th Review!****

Joe Hardwell (Stallone) is a well-meaning guy but his job as a seafaring man takes him out of his hometown of San Pedro, CA for months at a stretch as he travels from port to port. Consequently, Hardwell has trouble forging lasting personal relationships. Despite his tough exterior, it appears he is a lonely man. He has his buddy Bill (Mitchum), who is also a sailor and a trusty companion. When back in town on shore leave, they hang out at the Tradewinds bar. It's there that Bill meets the dancer Roxey (Loring) and their relationship is as turbulent as the waters the two men sail on.

Still looking for love, Hardwell happens upon a woman being assaulted in a car. He foils the attack and he quickly finds a connection with Anne Teasdale (Mayo-Chandler). After a whirlwind courtship, they plan to get married. There's only one problem. The evil gangster and pimp Harry Kane (Caruso). He exploits Anne's troubled past and soon has her hooked on heroin and enslaved in the sex trafficking industry. 

When Hardwell comes back from his latest stint abroad, he finds Anne missing. Now he has to traverse the seedy underworld of drugs and prostitution to find her and rescue her from Kane. So Hardwell and Bill do just that, until something happens that really puts Hardwell over the top in a rage and he vows to take down the whole Kane gang. He has to navigate some rough waters in his quest for a relationship, but will Joe Hardwell ever find safe harbor...or will it be a SAVAGE HARBOR? Find out today...

Despite what some people may say, including Frank Stallone himself (more on which later), we found Savage Harbor to be an entertaining and enjoyable outing and a lot of fun to watch. It reminded us of one of our favorites, Death Flash (1986) - though, to be fair, it's hard to beat Death Flash. But Savage Harbor comes close. It has a similar plot and a similar vibe. 

It all begins with a very funny shootout on the beach and it wraps up with a nice revenge conclusion. There are some amusing beat-em-up scenes and a couple of good car chases/stunts thrown in as well. Fan favorites Frank Stallone and Chris Mitchum keep things afloat. Mitchum is his typical laconic self and Stallone has a lot of charisma, as always. 

In the film, his big dream in life is to own an avocado farm. That represents his desire to get away from all the craziness of the modern world and find some peace and solace. We can all relate to that. Also, in 1987 he was really ahead of his time. Now everyone eats guacamole and avocado toast. Joe Hardwell would be a millionaire today.

We also really enjoyed Karen Mayo-Chandler as Anne. She has a Caroline Munro-esque beauty and charm and she wears a lot of great outfits. She also appears in a noteworthy dream sequence. She was asked to do a lot over the course of the film and she acquitted herself well. Greta Blackburn shows up as a helpful prostitute. Both Mayo-Chandler and Blackburn were in Party Line (1988), also released by Vinegar Syndrome. It was nice to see Nicholas Worth (playing his usual heavy) and Lisa Loring on board, and both the director and producer (Monson and Mardi Rustam, respectively) played roles as well. It was truly a low-budget, all-hands-on-deck type of situation. It's all very entertaining so it works for us, the viewer.

It originally came out on VHS in the U.S. as Death Feud, but truly all the thanks and credit should go to the great Vinegar Syndrome for releasing Savage Harbor on Blu-Ray. The transfer is beautiful and now everyone can see it in all its HD glory. The disc includes a very honest and candid interview with Frank Stallone where he, in a very self-effacing and comic manner, derides the film and says how "bad" it is. Numerous times. You don't see that too often in DVD/Blu-Ray extras. It's a fun watch, much like the main film itself. If you pick up the Blu-Ray, be sure to check out the interview.

Featuring some catchy songs on the soundtrack, Savage Harbor (AKA Death Feud) is a delight for fans of these sorts of down n' dirty B-movies of the 80's. We give it a strong recommendation.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Get The Terrorists (1987)

Get The Terrorists (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Eddie Rodriguez

Starring: Craig Alan, Frank Dux, George Nicholas, Robert Marius, Mel Davidson, Judy Green, Willie Williams, and Nick Nicholson



"We are trying to put the terror back in terrorism" - Randolph "Bear" Mclaglen





A man named Randolph "Bear" Maclaglen (Nicholas) is the evil head of a terrorist organization misleadingly called "People For Freedom". He comes from a family that produced rubber for the auto industry, but because they had rubber slave farms, a Senator Murdock (Davidson) investigated the Maclaglen clan and eventually put them out of business. Naturally, this drove Bear to take up an apprenticeship in commie villainy in Cuba, before getting into the baddie business himself.

So, that being the case, a team of professional badasses named Brock Towers (Dux), Strobe Walker (Alan), and Klaus (Marius) (perhaps Klaus felt inferior because his name isn't as awesome as the others) sets off to, you guessed it, GET THE TERRORISTS. They find a jungle-dwelling satellite badass named Pierre (Nicholson), and with the addition of a woman named Nikki (Green AKA Mrs. Richard Norton), the team fights their way through the jungles of Costa Verde until the ultimate showdown with Bear and his baddies occurs. Will our heroes GET THE TERRORISTS after all? Tune in to find out...

Get The Terrorists starts the way every movie - especially one called Get The Terrorists - should: with an up-tempo disco number called "We're Gonna Get You" by Ruth Vergara. Shortly before that, however, we're introduced to our bad guy, who - and you can listen and judge for yourself - says his name is "McLugly". At least that's what it sounds like, until we're informed it's actually Maclaglen. Then we get our initial power-team of heroes, beginning with the one and only American hero Frank Dux as Brock Towers. He looks a lot like Freddie Mercury here. As if one American hero wasn't enough, we get the great Craig Alan as Strobe Walker. And, even though he's the bad guy this time around, fan favorite George Nicholas is here too. 

What all of that equals is this: almost too much American masculinity and machismo for one small screen to handle. Judy Green is present and accounted for as the token woman, and she's handy with a grenade, and mainstay of these sorts of things, Nick Nicholson is on board as well - it wouldn't be a Philippines blower-upper if he wasn't in the mix.

We get a classic barfight, plenty of jungle action and blow-ups, and lots of characters yelling at each other. It all slows down right before the climax, but when said climax arrives, it's a good one. The ending does indeed deliver the goods. It's really very explosive. Most cars featured in the film blow up at one time or another.

Interestingly, the on-screen title reads "Get The Terrorist" - no S. Also, the second of the catchy songs in the film, "Let's Move It" by Jane Crawford, was also used in the Dale "Apollo" Cook outings Raw Target (1995) and Triple Impact (1992). “We’re Gonna Get You” was also in Raw Target. The songs must have been huge hits in the Philippines.

Sadly, Get The Terrorists never received a U.S. VHS release. Only a small handful of countries were graced with the availability of this film. Now, thanks to YouTube (as of this writing) you can check it out without having to pay outrageous collectors prices. It's all certainly entertaining and features some great people that we know and love. If you're a fan of Philippines-shot blow-em-ups, you'll surely enjoy Get The Terrorists.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Angel Of Vengeance (1987)

Angel Of Vengeance (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Ted V. Mikels

Starring: Jannina Poynter and David O' Hara

Tina Davenport (Poynter) arrives in a small California town, and all she wants to do is write a biography of her late father, a Green Beret. In her off hours, she goes spear fishing and sings Bob Dylan songs in the woods. Her rural idyll is spoiled when she stumbles upon a rumble between a local dirtbike gang, The Thrill Killers, and a self-made platoon of Doomsday Preppers out in the desert. Knowing she’s got what it takes, she makes an offer to Head Prepper Major Hargrove (O’Hara) to have him and his comrades hunt her in the desert, Most Dangerous Game-style. Naturally, they agree, but she then begins to turn the tables on them as the battle for survival turns deadly…for them! As if all that wasn’t enough, a duo of “Random Killers” (that’s actually how they’re credited) are on the loose and causing havoc. Will Bo Gritz make a surprise appearance? Or maybe Blake Bahner? One never knows, but one thing we do know: Tina Davenport is the ANGEL OF VENGEANCE!



Finally, here is the mashup of Savage Justice (1988) and Savage Instinct (1991) we’ve all been waiting to see. It’s a little surprising they didn’t call this Savage Angel. Anyway, director Ted V. Mikels brings the no-budget drive-in horror/exploitation style we all know from such classics as The Corpse Grinders (1971) and Blood Orgy of the She-Devils (1973) to this, but here applies it to an action romp. The idea of dirtbikers vs. Preppers in some sort of a desert-set brawl is a good one, and introducing a tough-gal character like Tina into the mix amps things up even more, but, sadly, the movie overall doesn’t live up to that promise.

That’s not to say there aren’t some points in the win column for Angel of Vengeance. It’s populated by a lot of people with interesting faces, and the desert setting is a good one (we’re told, quite threateningly, by Hargrove that “It’s a box canyon!!”). The dirtbikers haven’t graduated to the leather jackets of their Harley-riding counterparts, so they all have Thrill Killers M.C. T-shirts. Not quite as intimidating, but they’re getting there. It’s like training wheels. The Preppers love camouflage – not just their outfits, but their truck and their hideout are all camouflage. It’s a wonder we can see them at all. (Not to rain on their parade, but it’s all green camo in the desert, which doesn’t help all that much.)

Happily, Angel of Vengeance is a scant 73 minutes (on Amazon Prime anyway). It still felt a little long because not a lot happens and there isn’t really any character development to speak of, but it’s still better than 90-plus minutes. So while the majority of the goings-on are outdoors and characters’ voices still sound marred by microphone distortion, it never gets too bothersome because it all ends relatively quickly. While this is the only screen credit for Jannina Poynter, shout-outs to the other cast members we’d like to give are for Carl Irwin who played Ron and Mary Bee who played “Old Lady” – a woman who sells bread door-to-door and looks like she would have been more at home on the set of Mama’s Family. Irwin went on to have a solid career as a character actor, while, like Poynter, this was the only credit for Mrs. Bee. Watch out for them, as they enliven the proceedings.



Interestingly, fellow “trash film” auteur Ray Dennis Steckler started the film, but Mikels completed it. You really can’t tell; their styles are very similar. That would also explain why the dirtbikers are called The Thrill Killers, after Steckler’s 1964 outing of the same name (maybe he had some promotional shirts lying around?)

The whole thing concludes with the end-credits song “Take Me Home” not by Phil Collins, but by T. Craig Keller, who also played Craig, one of the Preppers, and acted as an associate producer. In the end, Angel of Vengeance (AKA Warcat) is far from an action classic, but it features some blow ups, gun shootin’ and a handful of silly fights. For those out there that like their action off the beaten path and are willing to plumb the depths a little bit, you could do a heck of a lot worse.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

One Way Out (1987)

One Way Out (1987)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Paul Kyriazi

Starring: Ivan Rogers, Rich Sutherlin, Sandy Brooke, Doug Irk, and Abdullah The Great

Detective Joe Weeks (Rogers) is a Cop On The Edge (or COTE), who naturally has to deal with a White Yelling Chief (or WYC), Captain Toback (Sutherlin). A man of strong and, some may say, silent emotion, Weeks takes many risks and chances in life. This is because after something unspeakable happened to his wife, he became not just sullen and withdrawn, but suicidal as well. 

Now teamed with an attractive female partner (Brooke), the two must break up the ring of crime lord Frank Hanna (Irk). But it’s not going to be easy, as Hanna has many goons to contend with and many trials and tribulations occur along the way – not the least of which is when Weeks has to turn in his badge and gun and go rogue. But will it be a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top? We implore you to find out…

We’ve met our new hero, and his name is Ivan Rogers. This awesome man wrote, produced, and starred in One Way Out – not to be confused with One Man Out (1989), One Man War (1990), One Man Force (1989), or many other similar titles. He’s a man of few words. Very few. There are many instances when you think he’s going to speak, as any normal person would, and then he doesn’t, which is funny. Because he has a soft voice and it’s post-dubbed, whenever he speaks, that’s funny too. You can’t lose. He’s a man who shoots first and doesn’t say anything at all later. He looks like a mélange of Philip Michael Thomas, Billy Dee Williams, Giancarlo Esposito, and Richard Pryor. We want to see more. 

Director Paul Kyriazi, known to action fans as the director of Ron Marchini outings Death Machines (1976) and Omega Cop (1990), here has a different strong, formidable main star. But it should give you an idea of what you’re in for: an awesomely 80’s ride filled with wonderfully “off” pacing, silly voices and sound effects, and a low-budget charm that can’t be beat.



The audio alone is fantastically entertaining. The voices are funny. The gunshots are funny. Every kick is funny. Every punch is funny. Scenes go on awkwardly/too long. And there’s a man that when he speaks his voice is distorted as if he’s going through the McDonald’s drive-thru. Just to be clear, he’s not. You gotta love it. Also they show the main title twice during the opening credits.

You know you’re in for something special when one of the other opening credits is “And Abdullah the Great as Mike”. And it only gets better from there on in. The score by Vincent Smith is also noteworthy. It’s funky, it’s synthy, it’s percussive, and there are a lot of really great cues. It really could use a re-release. Forget “Axel F”. Get ready for “Ivan R.” They even found time to use a Watchtower song, “Violent Change”, from the Energetic Disassembly album. It blares out of a boombox in one of the top 35 most ridiculous(lyawesome) scenes in the movie. One Way Out really delivers the goods. 

It’s a ton of fun in that AIP-esque, Leo Fong-meets-Chuck-Jeffreys-with-a-dusting-of-Miami-Connection kind of way. Just one of the millions of reasons the 80’s were great is that it was before all this annoying irony and people were actually earnest and hardworking. It just so happens that this movie, One Way Out, is an entertaining blast to watch and will put a smile on your face, guaranteed. And what’s wrong with that?

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Banzai Runner (1987)

Banzai Runner (1987)- * * *

Directed by: John G. Thomas

Starring: Dean Stockwell, John Shepard, Charles Dierkop, Marylou Kenworthy, Dawn Schneider, and Billy Drago

Billy Baxter (Stockwell) is a likable Highway Patrolman who is getting fed up with two things: drunk drivers and so-called “Banzai Runners” – rich guys with crazy-fast cars who zoom by at 150-200 miles per hour between L.A. and Las Vegas. Perhaps one of the reasons Baxter has such a vendetta against them is that his brother was killed in a road accident and now he takes care of Beck (Shepherd), his son. When the top brass declines Billy’s request to soup up his police cruiser so he can keep up with the Banzai Runners, Billy decides to go rogue: he turns to friend and mechanic Traven (Dierkop) on the sly. The eccentric Traven agrees to put in a turbo engine, but then Baxter is forced to turn in his badge (we don’t think he had a gun).

Now free to take down the speeding suckers his own way, he goes undercover to infiltrate the shadowy world of Banzai Runners. While there, he comes face to face with Syszek (Drago), the evil ‘Runner. Now with Beck at his side, and their girlfriends (Schneider and Kenworthy) more or less against them, the time has come…will the Baxters put an end to all this Banzai Running once and for all?

Banzai Runner was a pleasant surprise and part of the reason why continually hunting down 80’s VHS tapes is still worth doing. Is the movie an earth-shattering experience that will forever change the way you look at life? No, but most movies aren’t that anyway. What Banzai Runner is is an unpretentious, enjoyable gem and a worthwhile way to spend 90 minutes or so. 

As some sort of cross between Midnite Spares (1983) and No Man’s Land (1987), Banzai Runner is a fast-cars-vroom-vroom movie of the type that the male gender is always accused of loving above all others. There’s actually a little more going on here than that description would imply, but it would be nice if Banzai Runner was given a bit of credit for being a precursor to the Fast and Furious franchise – and all at a tiny fraction of the budget of those blockbusters. 

It all starts with an appropriately high-speed intro, but the presence of Dean Stockwell as the main character gives the film some grounding and gravitas. The whole thing has kind of an off-kilter, unusual vibe that we really liked. It’s really the type of movie you can’t do today, and that’s a shame. 

Yes, it does drag (no pun intended) a bit in the middle, but that’s a common problem and easily overlooked. Especially in light of the introduction of “speed stripping” into the popular consciousness. Evidently this is when if the driver of a car stays over the speed limit for enough miles at a time, the passenger has to strip. This isn’t to be confused with another car movie, Strip N’ Run (2000) with Michael Madsen. Anyway, this can also be noted as yet another movie where Billy Drago plays the bad guy.

There is some really cool and catchy music on the soundtrack too, including by a band named Los Bad Jamming Gringos, who sound like a slightly more aggressive ZZ Top. The score itself isn’t bad, but it would have been perfect if it had a Tangerine Dream-style synth score. To date, neither the score nor the soundtrack songs have been released on any format, which is unfortunate. 

It was the go-go 80’s, so of course there are going to be movies about fast cars and fast women and all that. But the organic, straightforward, and almost unassuming charm of Banzai Runner make it worth seeing.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

SFX Retaliator (1987)

SFX Retaliator (1987)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Jun Gallardo

Starring: Chris Mitchum, Linda Blair, and Gordon Mitchell

Steve Baker (Mitchum) has anyone’s dream job: he’s a special effects technician on movie sets, specializing in pyro. In other words, he travels to jungles far and wide in his tricked-out van and sets up the controls that provide the explosions. When the director calls “action!”, that’s exactly what Baker provides. His life gets more complicated, however, when he has a chance meeting with a woman named Doris (Blair). It seems Doris is on the run from mobsters, the lead baddie being Morgan (Mitchell). So, Baker fights off the baddies the only way he knows how – using his bag of “SFX” tricks. You’d think the bad guys would learn not to mess with Steve Baker, but at least they get one valuable takeaway: don’t upset his cobra.

The ever-reliable and ever-laconic Chris Mitchum teams up with The Firing Line (1988) director Gallardo to turn in this entertaining winner of a movie. There are some extremely cool sequences, and, speaking of cool, it’s hard to get much cooler than Chris Mitchum, especially in this movie. His nonchalant attitude is a joy to watch. He’s surrounded by a swirl of silly accents, sillier dialogue, and plenty of mindless shooting. That’s what highlights the “SFX” scenes that much more; other exploding-hut-type movies don’t have that type of innovation, so ‘Retaliator stands out from the crowd. Much like how Steve Baker’s awesome van would stand out in traffic. 

Besides sporting a canny concept, SFX Retaliator boasts some other benefits as well. Firstly the cast, with the always-welcome Mitchum supported by fan favorites Linda Blair and Gordon Mitchell. Unfortunately, Blair doesn’t get to do a heck of a lot, but Mitchell resembles an angrier Hugh Hefner as he barks orders to his underlings. Which is pretty much all he does here. On top of our three leads, another great aspect is the soundtrack. Not just the incidental music, which is quite enjoyable, but the main theme song heard during the opening credits as well. Featuring the lyrics “Retaliate, retaliate, retaliate…RETALIATE!!!” it’s hard to go wrong.

The whole outing is like something Arizal would direct, and features a low-budget exploding helicopter. Criminally, SFX Retaliator has never been released on any format in the U.S. (or even in the U.K. as far as we know). This could have been, at the very least, a cult classic if someone like Vestron or Lightning Video had put it onto video store shelves in 1987. Sadly, that was not to be, and as of this writing, SFX Retaliator sits patiently waiting for rediscovery. A company like Roninflix or Vinegar Syndrome should release it on Blu-Ray. Until that happens, there’s always YouTube. 

SFX Retaliator is a lot of fun and well worth your time.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Code Name: Vengeance (1987)

Code Name: Vengeance (1987)- * * *

Directed by: David Winters

Starring: Robert Ginty, Shannon Tweed, James Ryan, Don Gordon, and Cameron Mitchell

In Africa, an evil terrorist named Musseem Tabrak (Ryan) seems to be gaining political influence in his region. In order to further his nefarious ends, he kidnaps the wife and son of one of his rivals. That’s when the ambassador, Harry Applegate (Gordon), calls in the only solution to this geopolitical problem: Monroe Bieler (Ginty). Bieler is a warrior who was imprisoned by Tabrak for twelve years and is burning with the desire for revenge. Applegate teams him up with a guy from the U.S. consulate named Chuck Hawley (Brophy), but things really start to heat up when Bieler re-connects with old warhorse Dutch Busselmeyer (Cam). Along with love interest/reluctant compatriot Sam (Tweed), the four unlikely heroes proceed to shoot, blast, and blow up the minions of Tabrak – but who is the true mastermind? Will Applegate wrap himself in the flag…and will Monroe Bieler live to machine-gun-shoot another day?


Fan favorite Robert Ginty saves the day in CODE NAME VENGEANCE, an entertaining shoot-em-up/blow-em-up that you pretty much have to love. It's an AIP-distributed outing from director David Winters which looks more professional than usual. His production company this time around was The Killmasters Company, and when you see that that is the first credit on the screen, you know you’re in for a good time.


As we’ve noted before, there are many types of dumb. Thankfully, Code Name Vengeance is the fun kind of dumb. Lots of very stupid things happen, but you can’t help but smile. The movie has that 80’s charm mixed with the type of charm that comes from clunky editing and ridiculously-staged action scenes. The viewer can get by on this combination of dumbness and charm any day of the week. It is also satisfying to see black-robed terrorists getting killed by the good guys. There are many instances where all this comes together. For example, in one scene, there are some terrorists in an abandoned warehouse. Ginty somehow hooks a bunch of grenades onto a very, very slow-moving forklift and sends it towards them. The baddies see this coming and have ample time to run away. Instead, they just sit there for a long time, yelling. Then they blow up. Thank goodness.

When we first see Ginty, he’s embroiled in a prison-yard fight and he looks a lot like Chuck Norris. Then we see Gordon as Applegate and he looks a lot like John Saxon. We went on Cam watch and he eventually shows up 43 minutes in. He adds a lot of energy and even gets into the shooting action with the younger cast members. He would shortly re-team with James Ryan in another South Africa-shot David Winters movie, Rage To Kill (1988).


All the other characters, but especially Hawley, say Bieler’s name many, many times. Almost every sentence they say ends with the word “Bieler”. “I don’t think so, Bieler”, “Not a good idea, Bieler”, etc. It’s not even that cool of a name. By contrast, James Ryan’s name in Rage To Kill was Blaine Striker. Now that’s a name worth repeating. Bieler is dangerously close to Bieber. Obviously they must have known that in 1988 and should have acted accordingly.


The music, by Steve McClintock along with Mark Mancina and Tim James, is terrific and McClintock contributes yet another excellent song, “Is It Really Love?” This just goes to further prove that McClintock was one of the most underrated musical talents of the 80’s.

All the ingredients are here: the Winters direction, the McClintock music, the conspiracy that goes all the way to the top, the terrorists getting blown up, the silliness, the combination of Cam Mitchell, Shannon Tweed, and Robert Ginty, and it was the 80’s. Consequently, it’s easy to love Code Name Vengeance. We say give it a watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Fight To Win (1987)

Fight To Win (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Leo Fong

Starring: George Chung, Hidy Ochiai, Bill "Superfoot" Wallace, Chuck Jeffreys, Juan Chapa, Richard Norton, Cynthia Rothrock, and Ronnie Lott

Ryan Kim (Chung) is an enthusiastic young Martial Artist that loves nothing more than training with his Sensei (Ochiai). One day after a tournament, the mysterious Armstrong (Norton) approaches them and offers Ryan the opportunity to fight Tankson (Superfoot). The reason for this is that Sensei has three ancient statues and the wealthy Armstrong wants them for his collection. When Tankson defeats Ryan, Sensei offers a “double or nothing” rematch, which the overconfident Armstrong can’t refuse. 

When Sensei is hospitalized after a heart attack, a new trainer is brought in – a woman named Lauren (Rothrock). At first, the immature and perhaps sexist Ryan doesn’t want to be trained by her. But after experiencing her brilliant skill, not only does he fall in line, he also falls in love. The stage is set for the ultimate showdown…and there’s even a raid on Armstrong’s compound that features Ryan’s buddies Michael (Jeffreys), Jerry (Chapa), and Randy (“All-pro football star Ronnie Lott”). It’s time for Ryan and the gang to FIGHT TO WIN!

From George Chung (not to be confused with one of the producers here, the prolific George Cheung), the mastermind behind Hawkeye (1988) and Kindergarten “Ninja” (1994), and director/fan favorite Leo Fong, comes Fight to Win, another wacky, screwball blend of Martial Arts, comedy, and an indefinable element that can only be found in the magical productions of the 80’s. If you’ve seen either of the aforementioned Chung outings, here you get more of the same (thankfully) – a low budget, but plenty of energy and upbeat attitude, silly dialogue and situations, and highly-skilled Martial Arts. The dialogue isn’t recorded very well so undoubtedly some of Chuck Jeffreys’s bon mots are missing in the mix, but the sense of fun is infectious, and the whole movie is imbued with a – dare we say – feeling of childlike wonder and whimsy.

It’s really impossible to dislike Fight to Win, and we feel sorry for anyone that does, as they probably have no heart or soul. The cast is killer: We have the aforementioned auteur George Chung, who gives his all here, Chuck Jeffreys, the Eddie Murphy of low-budget DTV Martial Arts movies, doing his usual stellar job, Troy Donahue in a blink-or-you’ll-miss-him cameo, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace as Armstrong’s tough-guy fighter, David Heavener lookalike Juan Chapa, Martial Arts legends Hidy Ochiai and Master Hee Il Cho, All-pro football star Ronnie Lott, and of course the teaming of Comeuppance hall of fame all-stars Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton, who do interact and have some fight scenes together. With Leo Fong as director, this cocktail can’t possibly fail, and it doesn’t. Rothrock is as charming as ever and Norton plays the baddie with aplomb. It’s a joy to watch everyone’s Martial Arts skill on display.

While there’s plenty of extensive training which the presence of Rothrock as the trainer helps to make more enjoyable, and some casually-racist Middle-Aged Punks (classic MAP’s), truly the showstopper is when the movie essentially stops so George Chung can have a one-man music video where he combines Martial Arts with razzle-dazzle dance moves. 

With this heady combination of Bruce Lee, Tae-Bo, Footloose, Flashdance, and Zumba, Chung – and thus the movie as a whole – truly shines. This dance element (which was foreshadowed earlier on during one of the tournament scenes) sets the movie apart and makes it stand out even more – and it was already a fairly odd duck to begin with. And we mean that in the best possible way, of course. Fight to Win is a delight from start to finish. Criminally, it never received a U.S. VHS release (and as of this writing has yet to receive a U.S. DVD or Blu-Ray release). The fact that just about everyone in America did NOT see this back in the day is painful to contemplate. Interestingly, it was released on video in Greece under the title “China O’Brian [sic] 3”, even though it came out three years before the other two sequels! At least they got to see it, however.

Well, there you have it. George Chung turns in another winner. They truly don’t make movies like this anymore, and in the self-serious modern era, Fight to Win just stands out that much more.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Hell's Heroes (1987)

Hell's Heroes (1987)- * *

Directed by: Stelvio Massi

Starring: Fred Williamson, Miles O'Keefe, Scott Green, Gabriele Gori, and Chuck Connors

Set in the jungles of ‘Nam during the war, Hell’s Heroes tells the tale of Sgt. Darkin (O’Keeffe), a badass soldier whose badassery is constantly hampered by bureaucratic red tape. Naturally, this causes Darkin to become disillusioned with the war. When Senator Morris (Connors) comes to visit the troops on some sort of a press junket, Darkin expresses his dissatisfaction with life and the TV cameras and radio microphones eagerly pick it up. When Senator Morris and the soldiers he’s with are ambushed by some sneaky Viet Cong bad guys, Darkin is made the scapegoat even though he had nothing to do with it and was merely expressing his opinion. During his period of punishment, he meets up with other rebellious soldiers such as Feather (Fred), Trash (Green), and Bronx (Gori). Now a team with nothing to lose, will the men fight their way out of Vietnam when there are traps and gunfire everywhere? You just may find out…

Hell’s Heroes is yet another mediocre jungle slog that even Miles O’Keeffe, Fred Williamson, and Chuck Connors could not enliven. That should tell you how dreary it can be. Granted, fan favorites Fred and Connors don’t get a lot of time to shine here. That’s one of the problems. The major issues are, as we’ve seen time and time again, a lack of lighting, and the fact that there’s no one central villain. You’d think those would be no-brainer inclusions to an exploding-hutter like this, but no. The lights are off for about 60 percent of this movie’s running time and truly no one is home.

Just some mindless machine gun shooting, helicopters flying around (none explode), and huts exploding – not to mention O’Keeffe doing his Clint Eastwood impression again – is not really enough to get this plodding mush off the ground. Having more Chuck Connors would have been an improvement, but it must be said that his exit is grand, as is befitting the great man. It is highly appropriate that O’Keeffe’s character is named Darkin – we’re certainly in the dark for the majority of the film. It’s almost like they were thumbing their noses at us, the loyal audience. If that’s the case, that’s not cool, man. When a movie is so dark that the only light sources are muzzle flashes or explosions, that’s not good. It all adds up to an Italian-made jungle slog that we really wanted to like, but the lack of lighting and  too-brief appearances of the fan favorites made that difficult…actually, impossible.

This same year, 1987, director Stelvio Massi again teamed up with Fred Williamson for the more entertaining Black Cobra. Perhaps he wanted to make amends for Hell’s Heroes and use Fred in a more workable context. The naming of the incidental characters Bronx and Trash will immediately remind genre fans of Mark Gregory and 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982) and Escape from the Bronx (1983), where he, of course, played Trash. Is this something we were supposed to pick up on? Because if so, then the character name of Darkin does indeed seem more like a nod to the fact that only the most minimal lights were used and nothing is seeable during the night scenes – and they knew it. Stelvio Massi is also known for his spate of Poliziotteschi movies in the 70’s, so he knows how to make fast-paced action. Something must have gone awry in the jungle this time…a bungle, to paraphrase Jethro Tull.

In the end, Hell’s Heroes is dull and not indicative of the talents of those involved. There’s a reason it was included with the 4-movie set “Inglorious Bastards 2 Hell Heroes 4 Inglorious Film Collection”, the title of which we’ve chastised before for being almost incomprehensible, and not released as a standalone disc. It’s not worth that treatment, and only die-hard fans of this type of movie are encouraged to seek it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty