Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)

Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)-*

Directed by: Mic Rodgers

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bill Goldberg, Justin Lazard, Heidi Schanz, Xander Berkley, Brent Hinkley, and Michael Jai White

Luc Deveraux (Van Damme) returns, but the question is...why? This time around, Luc is just a regular Joe with a daughter, and he’s working with a Dr. Cotner (Berkeley) to refine and improve the Universal Soldier project. This is pretty surprising considering how he was treated by the higher-ups in the first movie. Nevertheless, At the base, everything is controlled by a 2001: A Space Odyssey-styled computer called SETH. 

When the intelligent SETH determines that the government is going to pull his plug, he transfers himself into the body of Michael Jai White and goes hunting for Luc and his daughter. As if that wasn’t enough to contend with, Luc also must fend off fellow Unisol (a contraction of the words “Universal Soldier” for those that didn’t see the first movie) Romeo (Goldberg). Naturally there’s yet another do-nothing female reporter, Erin (Schanz). How will Deveraux get out of this one?

Sadly, this sequel to the highly entertaining original is a disappointment. It’s a big drop from the first one - it’s lifeless and not a crowd-pleaser. While it did receive a theatrical release, surprisingly, it has a chintzy Direct-To-Video look to it. It never inspires confidence when 95% of your movie takes place in one building. Yes, “The Return”, as we call it  (we refuse to dignify this crud with the Universal Soldier name) is one of THOSE.

Even from its silly opening sequence (which naturally involves rockin’ jetskis), and throughout its many scenes with terrible music behind them, this movie is trying to be hip and cool, but fails. A great example of this is the character of Squid (Hinkley) - a radically-awesome drinker of Mountain Dew who loves his Frankenberry cereal. 

And speaking of characters that audiences can’t possibly connect with, the choice to cast fitness girl Kiana Tom instead of a proper actress is just odd. But the most glaring casting change involves the complete lack of Dolph Lundgren. Sure, we all love Goldberg, as much as anyone really can, but he’s no substitute for the Dolphster. Surely even Mr. Lundgren, who’s no stranger to DTV junk, read the script for this and headed for the hills.

Not so for Van Damme, who looks tired and disinterested, even as he spouts his one-liners. Does anyone really want to see Luc Deveraux as just some normal dude - with a kid even? Surely a sign of this movie’s status as a pale reflection of its forebear is, instead of the robotic monocle the Unisols wear over an eye in the first film, now they just wear Blu-Blocker Bono sunglasses.

And while this movie is very dumb, and disjointed, and features some downright embarrassing steals from Demolition Man (1993) and Terminator 2 (1991), Michael Jai White ALMOST saves the movie. He puts in by far the best performance and seems dedicated to his role as the sinister SETH. But even despite his valiant efforts, he can’t overcome the cruddiness within. But on the bright side, a character rides Goldberg down a flight of stairs like a sled. Yes, you read that correctly.

The bottom line is, this movie is an obvious cash-in and simply doesn’t need to exist. You might think, before watching this, “Yeah! It’s a Universal Soldier movie! Cool!” - it’s only natural to think that, but unfortunately, this movie doesn’t satisfy those expectations.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Omega Syndrome (1987)

Omega Syndrome (1987)-* *

Directed By: Joseph Manduke

Starring: Ken Wahl, Robert Kim, Colm Meaney,  Doug McClure, Xander Berkley, and Nicole Eggert













When transporting a prisoner who says "Maaaannnnn" after every sentence goes awry, it opens the floodgates for a gang of baddies in a wood-paneled station wagon to go on the loose in the L.A. area.

Meanwhile, washed-up drunken newspaper reporter, Jack Corbett (Wahl) is sort of drifting through life. After he got out of 'Nam, he had a daughter but his wife died. His beloved daughter Jessie (Eggert) lives with her grandfather but Corbett has custody for one weekend a month.

One weekend with her, he stops at a convenience store with Jessie so she can get some candy. The wood-paneled gang - who have tattoos of the Greek letter Omega on their arms - just happen to hold up the place and kidnap Jessie.



Corbett finds the police to be unhelpful, mainly because Detective Milnor (McClure) has been put on a diet by his nagging wife and he is grumpy because he has to eat yogurt all day. Luckily, he has a loose twizzler he can dip in the yogurt when no one is looking.

Corbett's next stop is his old buddy "Philly". He is an expert in guns and owns a shooting range. He even admits to selling guns to some gang members in his past, so Philly and Corbett "interview" some crips and bloods and turn up not too much information. Soon enough, the two ex-GI.'s are hunting high and low for Jessie and punching and threatening plenty of people along the way. Will they find the auto garage hideout of the evil rednecks and rescue Jessie?

A good performance from Ken Wahl, in all his mulleted glory, unfortunately can't save this tired and unengaging premise. It should have been like Taken (2008) but wasn't by a long shot. A guy going rogue, defying the police and everyone else on a no-holds-barred mission to find his daughter seems like it should have worked here, but "Omega Syndrome", which seems to have been marketed like some sort of spy/conspiracy thriller for no real reason, lacks the grit and intensity needed to pull off such a feat.



For 80's action fun, there are better places to go than the lackluster Omega Syndrome. For die-hard Ken Wahl fans only.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett

Phoenix (1998)

Phoenix (1998) -* * *

Directed By: Danny Cannon

Starring: Ray Liotta, Anthony LaPaglia, Daniel Baldwin, Jeremy Piven, Brittany Murphy, Kari Wuhrer, Xander Berkeley, Giancarlo Esposito, Giovanni Ribisi, Tom Noonan, and Anjelica Huston








Phoenix is a hidden gem. I've seen it over five times. For some reason, it never gets old.

Harry (Liotta) is a cop with a gambling problem. He can't stop. He owes money to "Chicago" (Noonan) and he if he doesn't pay up, he dies. Harry's partners Henshaw (LaPaglia) and Nutter (Baldwin) are dirty and are becoming "collectors" to bookie Louie (Esposito). Harry needs money fast and the only way is to rob Louie. Everybody goes along with the plan until there's a double cross.


There's not a lot of action in the movie until the end, but it's not needed. Ray Liotta is excellent in the movie. But the supporting cast steals it from him. LaPaglia is fantastic as Henshaw. He makes the character come alive. Baldwin, Esposito, Kari Wuhrer, and Anjelica Huston all get their time to shine.



Phoenix is a gritty crime movie that Liotta and LaPaglia fans must see.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty

To purchase the American poster click here