Ready, Willing & Able (1999)

 

Ready, Willing,  & Able (1999)- * * *

Directed by:

Starring: Christopher Templeton, Steve DuMouchel, Mike Kaldova, Isacc C. Singelton Jr, Kevin Weiler, and Rus Blackwell

Samantha "Sam" Martin (Christopher Templeton, who is a woman), spent ten years in the CIA, but was wounded in action and is now in a wheelchair. Not letting that slow her down, she is now seeking a job in corporate security. She finds her way to a company called FRTRIS, headed by the dastardly Lamont Vaughn (DuMouchel). Of course, Sam doesn't know he's dastardly at first, but the fact that his name is Lamont Vaughn and he's the head of a company called FRTRIS should have set off alarm bells. As it turns out, Vaughn is involved in an illegal chemical weapons smuggling deal and foreign terrorists are involved. Naturally, evidence of this is on a disc.

Since Sam needs the disc and to take down Vaughn once and for all, she assembles a team to do so, including the brains, a guy named, oddly, Feud (Kalvoda), and the muscle, Mo Cooper (Singleton Jr., in a film-stealing performance). There's also a deaf guy named Angel Lawrence (Weiler). Sam must also settle the score with old rival Conner Wilson (Blackwell) - whose name is Rus with one "S", but presumably people could still call him Mr. Blackwell. With all the baddies coming after her, will Sam Martin let her wheelchaired status stop her? Not likely, as she gives new meaning to the word "Handi-Capable"!




Well, this is a first. If you write reviews for action movies long enough, presumably you'll get to a regional Florida production directed and co-written by a woman in a wheelchair, and starring another woman in a wheelchair. Despite the fact of its regional status and lack of any real "names" in the cast, Ready, Willing, and Able (now do you catch on to the use of the word "able"?) has decent production values and is taking itself seriously. There is a level of professionalism on display that is admirable and it's a pretty easy watch.




Of course, all the "CIA" movie/TV show cliches are present and accounted for, but as we always say, cliches aren't such a bad thing, and this was back in 1999 - as of this writing in 2026, there is still a seemingly-endless flood of CIA-tertainment involving "assassins", "the Agency", the "Company", and so on and so forth. At least RW&A was ahead of the curve somewhat, and all independently done on a low budget. So you've got to give them that. We also appreciate a good Assemble a Team film, and while RW&A doesn't spend a ton of time on that aspect, it's definitely there.




Heading the team, of course, is one Christopher Templeton, who looks like an angry Michelle Pfeiffer, with some Sigourney Weaver thrown in for good measure. Evidently, in real life she had polio as a child, so she had good reason to be angry at life. She had a pretty good career as an actress and sadly passed away in 2011. This was definitely her moment in the sun. Maybe she wanted to show that even if you're wheelchair-bound, you can still beat people up with an extendable baton, shoot people, blow up boats, wear a black revenge outfit, and, in a movie highlight, get away on a zipline. It's an inspirational moment that should be more widely seen.




Shot around Lake Helm, Florida and related locations, and featuring two songs by Jesus Jones and several by a band called Van Gogh, Ready, Willing and Able does not appear to have had any sort of release in the U.S. Maybe they weren't ready for a strong, female, wheelchair-bound hero. The overall production values are on par with the Don Mogavero classic (?) Jekyll Island (1998). As of this writing, it's on Tubi and other streaming platforms. It's an odd one, for sure, but in a good way, and its 80-some-odd-minute running length won't take up much of your time. As Limp Bizkit once famously said, "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin'"!


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Silencer (1999)

 

The Silencer (1999)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Lee

Starring: Michael Dudikoff, Terrence Kelly, Brennan Elliott, Michael St. John Smith, and Gabrielle Miller

Jason Wells (Elliott) is a young FBI agent in Chicago. His father was also a G-Man, and Wells feels he has something to prove. Sensing this, his boss Neal Donovan (Kelly), sends him on a dangerous mission: fake his own death, then re-emerge as Jason Black, a ponytailed "greaseball" (he's called that numerous times) assigned to get close to Quinn Simmons (Dudikoff), an expert in assassinations. The worldly Simmons takes the neophyte Black under his wing. This is all in the lead-up to the planned assassination of presidential candidate Senator Cayton (Smith). What at first appears to be a simple job soon goes off the rails and Jason Wells is caught in a quagmire of lies, deceits, divided loyalties, and other twists and turns. Oh, and by the way, Quinn Simmons's nickname is THE SILENCER. Who will get silenced...forever?



Not to bury the lede (surprisingly, that is how you spell "lede" in this context) but The Silencer was directed by Robert Lee, who also directed...wait for it...Crackerjack 2 (1997)! But, knowing that information, you might think The Silencer would be a lot of silly fun. It turns out that Mr. Lee must have a lot of range as a director, because The Silencer is much more serious-minded than the classic Hostage Train that featured Judge Rein-hold. If you're wondering why I put in that dash, just check out the box art.



While not a slam-bang 100% actionfest - because it wasn't trying to be - The Silencer is more in the "paranoid thriller" mold initated in the 70's by the likes of The Conversation and The Parallax View (both 1974) but continued on into the DTV era by outings such as Sabotage (1996) or Hidden Assassin (1995). The plot strand of an older assassin showing a younger one the ropes is very reminiscent of The Mechanic (1972). The word "Mechanic" is even used.



Thankfully, The Silencer is better-written than the usual DTV fare at this point in time. You care about the characters and what's going on. The way history was woven into the plot was unique and added depth to the proceedings. We get some classic "FBI exposition" as Donovan and Wells look at slides in the beginning of the film, laying the groundwork of everything to come - but it isn't as cut and dried as you might think.


What also helps things a lot are the actors - fan-favorite Dudikoff as the unsmiling villain (or is he?) here was given an atypical role and it worked great. He had previously worked with director Lee on Cyberjack AKA Virtual Assassin (1995). I guess he'll always be some sort of an Assassin to Mr. Lee. Dudikoff even does a slow, gravelly voice to underscore how serious he is, which inevitably reminded us of what Steve Guttenberg did with his voice in Airborne (1998). It's a lot less silly here, of course, but the similarities are there nonetheless.


Terence Kelly as Donovan was also wonderful, and Brennan Elliott put in a lot of great energy as the lead. Gabrielle Miller as Quinn's love interest (?) is presumably here because at the last minute maybe the filmmakers realized that there were no women in the movie, and it was decided that one was needed. If that was indeed the case, that's not her fault of course.


There's a killer car stunt towards the end of the film, and periodically there will be a blow-up or maybe some shooting or fighting just to keep this in the action realm just enough. But it fits in with the DTV action genre perfectly well in any case, and thanks to the aforementioned scripting, plotting, and acting, manages to stand out amongst its competitors. 

And here's a pro tip to anyone out there who's thinking of running for office: don't publicly threaten to end government secrets and corruption. Wait until AFTER you're elected to do that. Announcing to the world that you're going to end an evil cabal is very upsetting to said evil cabal. In the interest of your own life, just keep your evil-cabal hatred to yourself. Final thought before the wrap-up: While ostensibly set in Chicago, this was obviously shot in Canada. Just sayin' is all.


Not only was The Silencer a pleasant surprise - it could have been so much more generic, but thankfully it isn't - it likely is one of the best DTV movies from 1999, if not the entirety of the late-90's/early 2000's period. Recommended.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

Enemy Action (1999)

 

Enemy Action (1999)- * *

Directed by: Brian Katkin 

Starring: C. Thomas Howell, Louis Mandylor, Carl Struycken, Lisa Thornhill, Michael Newman, Beata Pozniak, Ed O'Ross, Randolph Mantooth, and Richard Lynch

Because he is "the best", John Reed (Howell) is dispatched to the former commie country of Dagestan to stop some baddies who want to release advanced-technology missiles on the U.S.A. The small band of evildoers, led by the sinister Solonsky (Mantooth), but also including Price (Mandylor), Eyepatch (Struycken), Dimitri (Lynch), and Fatima (Pozniak) have met their match with John Reed. Backed up by Catherine Kelly (Thornhill) and Major Pedyed (O'Ross), Reed must stop the missiles, stop the commies, and save the day. But will he be able to stop the ENEMY ACTION?

Hey, remember Stealth Fighter (1999), Desert Thunder (1999), Black Thunder (1998), The Pandora Project (1998), or perhaps Interceptor (1992)? Well, here's another low-budget Roger Corman programmer to file along with all the others. Enemy Action has the benefit of a cast that is well above average, but the movie itself is the usual mishmash of plane slog, dogfight slog, sub slog and mix-and-match-footage-from-other-movies slog that we've all become acquainted with over the years, especially in the output from the late 90's/early 2000's when that sort of thing really seemed to proliferate.

It's not a total loss, however, because Howell and Mantooth are both really good in the film and seem to be giving it their all. Or something close to their all. It helps the proceedings a lot to see that. Of course, there's the time-honored Wacky Taxi Driver. In this case, he proclaims how much he loves the West and his fondest goal is to "marry a Spice Girl". The baseball-loving John Reed really seems to appreciate this. Larry Hankin plays a guy whose name is - if you listen to what other characters seem to be calling him - "Yuri Avocado". Makes sense.

The special effects are indeed quite special, as we've got miniatures that look like they were taken out of a box of Battleship, "explosions" that look like if you crash your plane in a CD-ROM flight simulator from 1994, and an exploding helicopter that's quite literally onscreen for one second. We only point out these things because they help make the movie more fun and more watchable, not out of any sort of negativity.

In the realm of constructive criticism, we would say that the plot was very simplistic and should have had more going on, perhaps more twists and turns. The solid B-Movie cast was nice to see, but what they had to work with wasn't that meaty.

The VHS tape, released by Corman's New Concorde label, states on the tape itself that the film runs 77 minutes. The back of the box states that it's 84 minutes. The film itself is 82 minutes before the credits. All split hairs aside, the movie is still pretty short, but it feels longer because we've all been down this road many times in our viewing past.

In the end, Enemy Action isn't anything you haven't seen before. For a suggestion that's similar but better, try The Pandora Project.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Straight Shooter (1999)

 

Straight Shooter (1999)- * *

Directed by: Thomas Bohn

Starring: Dennis Hopper and Heino Ferch

There's a sniper with a high-tech rifle who is picking off the citizens of Germany one by one. Why is he doing it? Frank Hector (Hopper) is flown in from England to find out. The shooter is code-named, reasonably enough, Straight Shooter (Ferch), and Hector is working with the German authorities to track him down and stop him. Hector was his commanding officer in the French Foreign Legion, and he trained him to be a ruthless killing machine. Only Hector knows how Shooter thinks, and while Hector now runs sleazy brothels and nightclubs, the Germans don't care because the race is on to stop Shooter from shooting. At all costs. What secrets from the past will be revealed? Will we learn the true motives of the...STRAIGHT SHOOTER?

Imagine if Sniper (1993) was about a bad guy, cross that with if there was ever a Trautman spinoff movie told from his perspective of the incidents in First Blood (1982), and that mixture was a low-budget film made in Germany with Dennis Hopper, you'd have Straight Shooter. 

While the intro to the film in the first minute makes it seem like what we're about to see will be that mixture of stupid and silly that we're all used to, it turns out that the tone of the film is actually quite serious, and even dour at times. However, there is some unintentional humor whenever anyone refers to the sniper, whose real name is Volker Bretz in the film, as just "Shooter". This leads to lots of lines such as "Shooter has made contact" and a classic from Hopper, "Shooter is not my friend!" They do this a lot throughout the course of the movie, almost to Brakus-levels. The only way it could've been better is if the shooter's real name was Phil Shooter. Or Larry Shooterman. Or something like that.

Straight Shooter overall concentrates on the more serious-minded aspects of the drama and it probably didn't see itself as a slam-bang actioner loaded to the gills with thrills. If you go in expecting that, you most likely will be disappointed, although there are some cool blow-ups (especially the missile launched at the police car), and some other action-esque scenes. But if you see it for what it is, and not what you think it should be, it's worth a watch.

Why director Bohn went with some computer-generated morphing effects for some scenes, and why he did a CGI explosive device flying through the air, we don't really know. They're a bit out of place with everything else. As you might expect, fan favorite Dennis Hopper more or less carries the film on his shoulders, and his charisma helps things immensely. That being said, Heino Ferch had his moments as Shooter. He's no Gotz Otto, but who can be?


Straight Shooter is a worthwhile movie, but for the most part it lacks much-needed energy. Certainly a little more pep would've helped (and the plot is something that you might see on an episode of Criminal Minds or some such show) but it's not bad at all and we say check it out if you find it somewhere cheap.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Terminal Countdown (1999)

Terminal Countdown (1999)- * *

AKA: Y2K

Directed by: Richard Pepin

Starring: Jaimz Woolvett, Ed O'Ross, Carlos Lauchu Sarah Chalke, Lou Gossett Jr., and Malcolm Mcdowell 

When it's discovered that Y2k will trigger a mechanism that will set off some missiles hidden in the Colombian jungle, a team is sent to prevent that from happening. General Seward (McDowell) sends computer techie Vince (Woolvett), Morgan (Gossett Jr.), who comes out of retirement for the job, and CIA head Fairchild (O'Ross) to investigate. (Morgan and Fairchild? Could that be just a coincidence?) While there, they meet the mysterious Russian agent Soljev (Chalke). Of course, they all have to face lots of pitfalls and problems, not the least of which is your prerequisite Colombian druglord and his goons. Just what any of that has to do with Y2k is anybody's guess. Can anybody stop the TERMINAL COUNTDOWN?

OMG! It's Y2k! Such was the nature of that threat, PM snapped into action with this film, originally titled simply Y2k, as did NBC, who gave us Y2k: The Movie (1999). Check out the commercial for that one on YouTube. It's pretty great. After getting off to a bang-up start, Terminal Countdown settles into terminal boredom after the movie relocates to the jungle. Not to get too technical, but it's really a forest. It really loses the plot - literally - after the drug dealers show up, but, then again, most of the scenes featuring Paco (Lauchu) really liven things up. He pulls large machetes out of nowhere and slaughters people with them. He provides much-needed interest in this largely-sloggy outing.

Not very surprisingly, all the scenes with Malcolm McDowell are gold. It's very amusing to watch him get mad about Y2k. Much like Dragonfight (1990), Terminal Countdown is one of those movies where (some of the) dialogue scenes are more entertaining than the action. During the many forest slog moments, they should have cut back to McDowell doing or saying something. That would have helped a lot to perk things up.

While this is a PM film, it feels more like Nu-Image. For example, many of the forest scenes are "borrowed" from Predator (1987). There are quite a few moments when our characters are looking at nothing or shooting at nothing - well, except Predator footage. Same with the car chase at the beginning, which was taken wholesale from Basic Instinct (1992). Yes, Basic Instinct had a car chase. And it's also in Terminal Countdown.

Now, try as Louis Gossett, Jr. might, it's hard to help a movie about silos. Not terrorists, mind you, but silos. There is a lot of talk about silos in the film. Evil, evil silos. 

But, beyond that, there's a bigger problem. A much bigger problem. That, of course, is Jaimz Woolvett's hair in the movie. It's atrocious. Remember Michael Berryman’s hair from the Motley Crue video for “Smokin’ in the Boys Room”? This gives it a serious run for its money. It almost single-handedly (single-hairedly?) ruins the film. Imagine, if you will, a messier Moe Howard bowl-cut, but the owner of said bowl cut said to their barber, "just shave the lower third of my head so it looks like I'm wearing a rug at all times". We get that his character, Vince, is supposed to be a dork. We also get that it came out in 1999. But still, there's no excuse for that particular haircut. You've heard of fashion don'ts? Well, this is a hair don't. Call it a cautionary tale. Even more so than the nuclear war implied in the film. 

Also, we've got another problem. The 100-minute running time. What the heck were they thinking? Why the frack is some PM movie about people running around a forest trying to stop Y2k 100 minutes long? Can anyone answer this? If they just removed the Predator and Basic Instinct footage it could have been around 90 minutes. But, no, they couldn't do that.



There are enough cool and funny moments to sustain an 80 minute movie here. There really are. But 100? That's pushing it. Just the 90's computers, CD-ROM screens, Paco, and even the egregious green screen moments - plus Malcolm McDowell, of course - are sufficient to entertain an audience for a limited amount of time. But Pepin overstayed his welcome, which is unfortunate.



Y2k Productions, the production company for this film, should have produced more movies. They should have flooded the market with more Y2k movies than we could handle. If nothing else, Terminal Countdown - besides being yet another "Terminal" movie for us - is a nostalgic look back on a hyped-up threat that was slated to kill us all on January 1st, 2000. That was an idea exploitable enough for a company like PM to work with. But Pepin should have stuck with the vibe going in the first 20 minutes of the movie. Then we'd have something. As it stands, we can only really recommend this film to die-hard Y2k buffs. If you're out there, let us know.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)

Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain (1999)- * *1\2

Directed by: Jon Cassar

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Carl Weathers, Shannon Tweed, and Martin Kove

Mike McBride (Hulk), Roy Brown (Weathers), Hunter Wiley (Tweed), and possibly some other guy are the SHADOW WARRIORS. They’re a team of mercenaries, but they’re good mercenaries who rescue kidnapped children and fight terrorists. But that’s only, in true A-Team fashion, “if you can find them”. Tasked with fighting some baddies with chemical weapons and ballistic missiles, our Shadow Warrior team snaps into action. They even enlist the help of their buddy Andy Powers (Kove), sort of an auxiliary Shadow Warrior. The only problem is McBride was injected with some sort of poison and is slowly dying. Can he get an antidote in time? Will they stop the launch of the missile? Will they save the children? WHAT’S GONNA HAPPEN?!?!



Shadow Warriors: Assault On Death Mountain is a made-for-TV (TNT to be exact) outing, and you can really feel it. It feels like a pilot for a show that was never picked up, and it would have been (and should have been) a syndicated series that would air after Xena or Hercules or Relic Hunter on channel 9 on Saturday afternoon. That’s not to say there isn’t action – there are plenty of shootouts, fights, chases, blow-ups and the like. But it feels sanitized, and the whole outing is very paint-by-numbers.



That being said, there are plenty of funny moments to be had. Hulk Hogan attempting to act “troubled” is worth the price of admission alone. The Hulkster mows down middle-Eastern terrorists holding two large machine guns, and later gets the old Prerequisite Torture treatment. Carl Weathers brings his trademark charisma, and Shannon Tweed practically salvages the whole thing just by being there. Of course, you do get some classic Tweed-Fu. Martin Kove seems to be going for the David Letterman look of the day. They all walk in slow motion away from an explosion, and Hulk Hogan punches people on a hovercraft. So it’s not a total loss.

The whole thing is rife with stereotypes and stupidity, as you might expect from another pairing of director Cassar with Hulk Hogan around the same time as The Ultimate Weapon (1998). But you shouldn’t go in expecting more than that, and there is fun to be had with what’s there. 

So, if you’re willing to accept “The B-Team”, you could do a lot worse than Shadow Warriors: Assault on Death Mountain.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

No Tomorrow (1999)

No Tomorrow (1999)- *1\2

Directed by: Master P

Starring: Gary Daniels, Jeff Fahey, Gary Busey, Jodi Bianca Wise, Pam Grier, Clifton Powell, Frank Zagarino,  Master P, with Jerry Vale and C-Murder

"Ya Gonna Wind Up Daaaiiiid"- C-Murder 

Jason (Daniels) is a likable (of course) London transplant trying to make ends meet in L.A. as he chases the American Dream. Jason is a card-carrying member of his local video store and loves nothing more than to play Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park pinball at his local dive bar. His gregarious co-worker Davis (Fahey) charms him into getting involved with crime boss Noah (Busey), but Jason really doesn’t want to be a criminal. However, Noah takes a shine to Jason. It turns out that fellow criminal Maker (P) is after Noah, as is an FBI Agent named Diane (Grier). In the midst of all this chaos, Jason and Lara (Wise) forge a relationship. Will the hapless Jason walk away with his life, or for him will there be…NO TOMORROW?

As one of the final films produced by PM, No Tomorrow signaled the death knell for one of our favorite companies. The title proved to be more apt than perhaps even they realized.

If there was ever any last-ditch attempt to save the company from impending doom, handing the directorial reins over to Master P for this movie would seem to indicate that their hearts just weren’t in it anymore. You’d think a DTV outing with all these classic B-movie stars couldn’t lose, but it’s just another case of Lone Tiger Effect. The fact that footage was recycled from Narrow Margin (1990) and Air America (1990) just reinforces the “Now it’s 1999 and DTV is in the doldrums” vibe. 

Yet, because it’s still PM after all, the stuntwork, action, gunfights, pyro, and blow-ups are still excellent. The technicians behind making all this amazing stuff happen should be applauded for making it all look great on-screen. The problem is that the movie around it is a dud. It’s completely uneven; one minute Master P has some sort of combination flamethrower/missile launcher and is barbecuing everything in sight, then there are some extended dialogue scenes, then we’re in Master P’s recording studio watching Silkk Tha Shocker AND C-Murder lay down some tracks (all while wearing No Limit clothing, of course), then Pam Grier sits in an FBI control room for a while, and then we get some recycled footage, etc., etc. There no continuity, structure, or pacing, never mind a Tomorrow. 

We’re of two minds about Gary Daniels’s role in all this. On the one hand, yes, of course we want to see him do Martial Arts, which is missing from this performance. It’s hard to not see that as a missed opportunity. On the other hand, we kind of liked that he was cast against type as a humble pencil-pusher. In other casting observations, we liked Fahey’s freewheeling, smarmy performance – he probably figured he didn’t have a lot to lose here, so he hammed it up. It was pretty Charlie Sheen-esque.

Things perked up whenever Gary Busey was on screen. As usual, he brought a lot of crazy life to the scenes he was in. He even makes it a point to say that Maker produces, and we quote, “jungle music”. Fan favorite Frank Zagarino has a glorified cameo (Jerry Vale of all people has an actual cameo), and Master (thespian) P gives a mumbling, inarticulate performance, but in all fairness he did have to talk around his gold grill. It probably gave him problems, but is this guy supposed to be the hero of the movie? It’s impossible to tell. Needless to say, there’s a crazy twist at the end that turns all the nonsense we’ve heretofore seen on its head, as if that was necessary.

Yes, it’s all very junky and a fairly ignominious end to the once-fine PM organization. Even Hot Boyz (2000) is better than this. Sadly, even the classic exploding helicopter had to come from the aforementioned Narrow Margin footage. Jeff Fahey and Gary Daniels should’ve been cops who team up to bust some heads. It could have been like the classic years of PM and really cool. Instead, they came up with this muddled jumble of Homie Movie/drama/thriller/DTV actioner and it doesn’t really work.

Despite the presences of some of our favorite names, and the backing of a great company, No Tomorrow is a disappointment.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Active Stealth (1999)

Active Stealth (1999)- * 

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Fred Williamson, Terry Funk, Hannes Jaenicke, Chick Vennera, Tim Abell, Joe Lala, and Shannon Whirry

When an evil Mexican drug lord (is there any other kind?) named Salvatore (Lala) and his henchman Morgan (Funk) take a member of our U.S. military hostage, we bring in the best men we have available to go on the rescue mission. Of course, that includes Captain “Murph” Murphy (Baldwin), a sullen and somewhat belligerent man who is haunted by his past. His wife Gina (Whirry) is supportive, but along with Chiccio (Vennera), Lt. Reb Carter (Abell), and “Hollywood” Andrews – because he wants to make it in Hollywood after his military career is over - (Robinson), the boys snap into action and use the awesome new stealth bomber for said mission. They even get help from “Special Guest” Andrew Stevens as Jack Stevens. Whoa. While south of the border, they make friends with a peasant woman and her young son as they find out Salvatore wants to “El Presidente” himself all the way to the top. Paralleling that back home, Captain Reynolds (Williamson) just may be part of conspiracy that also goes to the top.

Here we go again…if Stealth Fighter (1999), Desert Thunder (1999), Crash Dive (1996), its sequel Counter Measures (1999), Agent Red (2000), Air Rage (2001), and all the other Fred Olen Ray or Jim Wynorski-styled plane slogs from the late 90’s/early 2000’s weren’t enough for you, well, here’s another one. Not only does this not add anything to the genre, it actually takes away entertaining elements from the other ones. For example, there’s no precocious kid like a Sarah Dampf to at least make us chuckle here. We do get an Italian stereotype in Chiccio, but it’s just not the same. 

It’s not the “borrowed” footage from other movies that bothers us. We’re used to that by now. It’s the fact that this is a plane slog crossed with an El Presidente slog, two of our least favorite slogs. Just simply stitching them together does not a good movie make. It even knocks off one of our favorites, Commando (1985), with Lala and Funk taking on the Dan Hedaya and Vernon G. Wells roles respectively. There is a ton of groan-inducing dialogue, from the constant military jargon (a lot of which is inaccurate, from what we’ve been able to ascertain), to the noticeably-more-obvious-than-usual homosexual references when our heroes are trying to “bond”. It all will make you long for the glory of Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990).


And speaking of Fred Williamson, the star of the aforementioned film, let’s face it, this movie is unworthy of his talents. He’s not in it that much, but it even manages to tamp down and tame The Hammer. Not good. Daniel Baldwin puts in a perfunctory performance but seems more interested whenever there’s dialogue involving chili (there’s more than you might think). While casting Terry Funk as one of the baddies was a good idea, we would have liked to have seen Shannon Whirry in more than just the clichéd “worried wife” role. She should have taken a rocket launcher down to Mexico to blow up Salvatore. Then we’d be talking.

Sure, there’s a bunch of mindless shooting, and some helicopters “blow up” (is this stuff even real anymore?) but it’s very, very hard – if not impossible – to care. The Top Gun video game for Nintendo was more entertaining and well-made than this. It’s pretty much the dictionary definition of shelf filler.

The Stealth may be active but your brain cells will be inactive if you witness this muck. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Contract (1999)

The Contract (1999)- *1\2

Directed by: K.C. Bascombe

Starring: Laurent Imbault, Johanna Black, Matthew Olver, Doug Richardson, and Billy Dee Williams

Luc (Imbault) and Hannah (Black) are professional assassins on the mean streets of Toronto, Canada. They always execute their CONTRACT killings with efficiency, but they get more than they bargained for when they enter the world of Senator Harmon (Billy Dee). Described as a “hardliner” by his critics, they don’t know how right they are – Harmon seemingly has no qualms about eliminating potential threats to his rise to power…permanently. When a conspiracy unravels that puts Hannah and her boyfriend James (Olver) in jeopardy, they go on the run and link up with their associate Ozzy (Richardson). After many trials and tribulations, the inevitable final confrontation comes between Hannah and Harmon. But will the ultimate CONTRACT be fulfilled?



Unfortunately, The Contract was a disappointment. There are many factors at work here that ultimately sink the movie, any one of which might not do so on its own, but here it’s a case of death by a thousand cuts. The whole thing is very Canadian, but it’s supposed to be set in the U.S., which is always a mistake. Just embrace your Canadian heritage and things always go better in the end. It was the late 90’s, which was a death time for DTV productions like this. It has a downmarket, low-budget feel. It’s a Tarantino Slog, as we call them, and the world just didn’t need another one of those, especially one of this puny stature that couldn’t even compete with the bigger and more well-known T-Slogs of the day.


Most of the action consists of “assassination shootings”, and the few fight scenes (such as the kitchen fight) have this silly slo-mo effect which doesn’t do anyone any favors. The climax makes very little sense, and that’s after a movie which doesn’t have powerful forward drive or verve, not to mention a well-thought-out or well-written plot that would involve viewers. There’s also a lot of soundalike music on the soundtrack, with songs or musical cues that by turns sound like Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The Dave Matthews Band, or Paula Cole/Meredith Brooks/Shawn Colvin or any number of Lilith Fair-style female singers at that time.


On the bright side, Billy Dee Williams is extremely charming, as ever, and he has a lot of screen presence and magnetism. The movie is hanging on by a thread as it is, without BDW it would be nothing. He did seem out of place here, however. Johanna Black brought a certain Nancy Kerriganesque charm to the proceedings. She did her best against impossible odds. A point of interest came up when Ozzy started talking about his record collection, saying that he has over 2,000 vinyl albums. After we perked up upon hearing this, the movie then went back down to its default position of being lame.

The Contract reminded us of a less-professional Killing Time (1998), but without the actual Portishead music. Instead it featured artists we’ve personally never heard of such as Juke Joint, Adam’s Curse, Vivian George, Shikasta, Heartbreak Hill, and Babelfish. They probably couldn’t afford the original hits by the original artists, we understand that. One of the songs does feature the lyrics “growing up in Canada makes you strong”, evidence of which cannot be found in this film. Of course it all ends in a Final Factory Fight, as so many movies do, but we as viewers simply don’t care about what we’ve just seen. To be fair though, this movie is significantly better than Conspiracy of Fear (1995). So, it’s good to keep perspective on things.

With better writing, tighter editing, More original dialogue, more focused direction, better music, and giving our heroes more goons to fight, The Contract would have been vastly better. Only the presence of Billy Dee Williams keeps things afloat…barely. The woman in the artwork doesn’t even appear to be Johanna Black. Sadly, we cannot recommend The Contract, except for Billy Dee Williams completists.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Collectors (1999)

The Collectors (1999)- * *1\2

Directed by: Sidney J. Furie

Starring: Casper Van Dien, Rick Fox, Charlene Francique, and Catherine Oxenberg

A.K. (Van Dien) and Ray (Fox) are likable hitmen dispatched to New York City by a New Orleans-based crime syndicate in order to collect gambling debts from a bunch of non-paying customers. While in the midst of their mission, A.K. begins to question the course of his life and thinks he might be too much of a nice guy to be a hitman. Ray, the pragmatic and level-headed one, tries to talk him out of his philosophical quandaries. None of this stops the duo from getting into a whole heap o’trouble, as not only do they have to deal with degenerate gamblers, they have their enemies to deal with as well. Not to mention the fact that the police are hot on their trail, and no one is hotter than Detective Bailey (Oxenberg) – the officer that A.K. feels is in love with him because when she shoots at him, “she misses on purpose”! Will our unlikely heroes make it out of this mess alive?

Out of all the – as we call them – Tarantino Slogs to come out in the late 90’s/early 2000’s, The Collectors is probably one of the better ones. Van Dien and Fox make an engaging, if somewhat unlikely, pair and the movie overall is entertaining. But there’s a caveat (isn’t there always?) – you have to be tolerant of a very low-budget DTV look and feel, and also have no problem with post-Tarantino banter amongst the characters.

As audience members, we couldn’t help but warm to Van Dien as he has his crisis of conscience. He has Zack Morris-style sass and plenty of wisecracks that make him seem almost like a teenager. Despite the fact that there are shootouts and murders going on, he wouldn’t be out of place at Bayside High. Ray isn’t just his partner in crime, they’re also jogging buddies and they wear prominent fanny packs. They also drink a lot of Snapple and Pepsi and clink their Snapple bottles together to celebrate a good idea they both come up with. When they both appear on screen for the first time, wearing suits, sunglasses, and with sax blaring on the soundtrack, it’s hard not to think they look cool together. This is one of Fox’s first non-basketball-related movie roles, and he seems to make the most of it. As a basketball-playing man, he’s obviously much taller than anyone else he talks to on screen. He must have enjoyed returning to his native Canada to shoot this movie that takes place in New York City. 

Speaking of sax on the soundtrack, someone must have decided that jaunty music must play at all times throughout the movie. ALL times. The WHOLE time. This undercuts any action (which is pretty minimal anyway) and any seriousness that may be remaining. But that may be the point: while The Collectors is clearly modeled after Pulp Fiction (1994), the overall tone is far sillier, with a bunch of wacky characters, nutty situations, and humor which works at some times but not others. Probably one of the more interesting facets of the movie was the love triangle between A.K., Ray, and Ray’s prostitute girlfriend Lyla (Francique), which is simultaneous with A.K.’s longing for Detective Bailey. Perhaps that could have been emphasized more, but then that would have left less time for the more audience-pleasing aspects elsewhere.

Maybe this is because it was Canada doubling for NYC in many places, but there is a very prominent sign with this misspelling: 9th “Precint”. This is the “Precint” that Detective Bailey operates out of. It’s surprising no one caught this, because “precinct” is a very French-sounding word, and they were in Quebec, after all. We do tend to point out misspellings in credits and such, because, not to be too nerdy about it, but it’s still hard for us to believe a film could be finished and released with no one catching these things. Ah well, c’est la vie.

In the end, we would say that The Collectors is more than watchable, despite some obvious drawbacks threatening to sink it completely. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)

The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)- * *1\2

AKA: Prophet

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Alexander Keith, and Barbara Steele




"When they're in your head, how do you watch your back?"

Jarrid Maddox (Don) is a CIA agent in L.A. who is working through some past trauma. When he teams up with fellow agent Vicki Taylor (Keith), he is tasked with getting to the bottom of what happened to a bunch of children that were involved in a top-secret government program. However, if Agent Oakley (Steele) is involved, you can bet this will be a (Capitol) conspiracy that goes…you guessed it, all the way to the top. Along the way, Jarrid – which is, evidently, how he spells it – gets into a bunch of fights and shootouts. Will he unravel THE CAPITOL CONSPIRACY?

We were worried at first, at least after initially seeing the box art, that this might be an attempt at “more serious Don” – in other words, an actionless political drama. Thankfully, that is not the case, as our wonderfully wooden old pal The Dragon gets into plenty of fights, including the time-honored barfight, and his gun is always at the ready as well – although we much prefer the Martial Arts combat scenes. As you might expect with a Roger Corman-produced, Fred Olen Ray-directed outing, you get some punching, some kicking, some shooting, some nudity, a bit of plot and a smidgen of Barbara Steele and it’s all wrapped up in about 80 minutes or so. It won’t tax your brain or your schedule too much.

Another thing low-budget actioners like this seem to have in abundance are actors that look like other actors. There’s the Gary Busey guy, the Michael Dudikoff guy, and the Jake Busey guy, but, in all fairness, this might all be the same guy. Impressively, someone else looks and sounds exactly like Charles Napier. Just why they couldn’t get the original Napier to be involved is unknown. Because it was 1999, our hero Maddox has Earthlink email that talks. Not only does it tell you that “you’ve got new mail!” (they probably had to add the word “new” to avoid legal action), but it reads your message out loud too. Welcome to the future. And Jarrid Maddox is leading the way.

A movie highlight comes when Maddox is on a plane, innocently trying to read a book. Suddenly two wrestlers – one wearing his championship belt on the plane – begin getting a bit too rowdy for their own good, and Maddox has to calm the situation down. Despite his painful flashbacks, the man can act independently as his own Air Marshal. He even gets the phone number of the stewardess for his trouble. Is there nothing the man can’t do? Our point, really, is that The Capitol Conspiracy (or Prophet if you prefer) needed more scenes like this – unbridled silliness that brings the fun level up a few notches.

All in all, The Capitol Conspiracy may not be the best Don outing out there, but it’s certainly worth watching, and it goes by without causing any undue stress or anxiety in your life. Unlike the victims of the aforementioned conspiracy. Also, the trailer for the film features footage from other Don movies that are not this one, in order to pump up the action quotient.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Running Red (1999)

Running Red (1999)- * * *

Directed by: Jerry P. Jacobs

Starring: Jeff Speakman, Angie Everhart, Bart Braverman, Cassie Ray, and Robert Miano

Gregori (Speakman) is one of the toughest dudes in the Russian military. Previously loyal to Mother Russia, after his brother is killed during an assault on a Spanish chemical plant, Gregori renounces it all and relocates to Sherman Oaks, California. After eleven years in the States, we see that he now has a hot wife named Katherine (Everhart), and even a precocious young daughter, Amanda (Ray) To fully complete the transformation into a U.S. citizen, he grows a beard and puts on some weight, seemingly in an attempt to strongly resemble TV’s Richard Karn. 

He cleverly changes his name from Gregori to Greg, but even that doesn’t stop his past from coming back. When Russian operatives enlist him to do “one last job” because “he’s the best”, “Greg” can’t resist the lure of the classic cliches, and he actually wants to get revenge for his brother, now that he’s offered a chance to kill his murderer, a guy named Mercier (Braverman). Also he gets involved in the political assassination game as it relates to a politician named Chambers (Miano). Will Greg be running away...or RUNNING RED?

In our opinion, Running Red is the best Jeff Speakman movie. It doesn’t have any of the fat, boredom, or mind-numbing stupidity of his other works. PM is the ideal place for him, and they used him perfectly. Sure, we would have preferred more Kenpo and less gun-shooting, but in the absence of the actual Kenpo he does wear an oversized shirt that reads Kenpo Gear, and the back says “Show some respect”. 

Because it’s PM, it’s bright, well-lit, has a nice pace, and there are some classic blow-ups, car chases, car flips (even a double-car flip), gunfights, and well-choreographed action. It’s all very professional and works well. Director Jacobs has been hit or miss for us in the past; we loved A Dangerous Place (1995), but thought Freedom Strike (1998) was lame. Running Red puts another one in the win column for Mr. Jacobs. 

The title could refer to the fact that Greg is running from his red past, or the running of blood, or be a subtle reference to Everhart’s hair. It’s also the color of his daughter’s Game Boy Color. Coincidence? Part of the plot even involves Greg’s wife wanting to drag him to her high school reunion because she “wants to show him off to her friends”. Presumably she’s going to tell them she’s married to Richard Karn. But another possible title could be “Running Red Heat”, because, like Rangers (2000), the bus chase from Red Heat (1988) is interpolated into the movie. If Running Red and Rangers can afford this footage, it must be going at fire sale prices. But didn’t PM realize that action fans would likely recognize what they saw? Maybe they were banking on the fact that the whole outing feels a bit...familiar. But still, it’s Speakman at his best.

The guy who plays Mercier looks a lot like Joe Mantegna, fan-favorite Robert Miano has a small but noteworthy role (was he contractually obligated to be in every PM movie?), and instead of a drug deal gone wrong, there’s an arms deal gone wrong. Instead of a wacky taxi driver, there’s a wacky exterminator. The daughter is cute in the classic Sarah Dampf style (bet you didn’t know there was a classic Sarah Dampf style), and she loves soda and hamburgers. She also eats a cereal called Crispy Rounds. If action heroes didn’t have daughters, what would get them up in the morning?

Running Red is the perfect place to start if you’ve never seen a Jeff Speakman movie. It might be all downhill from here (though his other films do have some of their own individual merits, to be fair) - but Running Red is a winner, and quite possibly the best DTV actioner of 1999. 

Comeuppance Reviews by: Brett and Ty