Armstrong (1998)

Armstrong (1998)-*1\2

Directed by: Menahem Golan

Starring: Frank Zagarino, Joe Lara, Kimberley Kates, Charles Napier, and Richard Lynch





"The Cold War Has Just Heated Up"







Charles Napier plays Robert Zorkin, a man who travels to Russia with his wife Susan (Kates), supposedly for a vacation. But it turns out he has a VHS tape that shows the Russians dealing in nuclear warheads with the mob. It seems Zorkin was the mentor to one "Rod Armstrong" (Zagarino). Armstrong is an ex-Navy SEAL who now trains people in Russia and is "very expensive". Joe Lara, appropriately enough, plays "Ponytail", the head of the gangsters who is menacing everyone in sight, not the least of which is Susan, who he chases all over Russia. Richard Lynch is the Russian General Zukov, who is a major part of the insanity. Will Rod Armstrong be able to stop the gangsters and evil Russians from stealing the nukes and perhaps launching them, and save the kidnapped Susan in the process?

I know action movies don't have to be intelligent, but Armstrong is just so dumb it's really unbelievable. Zagarino usually brings the dumb, and here is no exception. In fact, if anything, he's outdone himself in the dumb department. He's beyond wooden. 


Rod Armstrong is stupid, unlikable, arrogant and annoying, and he usually has some sort of "shirt problem". Either his shirt is ripped, comes off, becomes unbuttoned, or he just plain forgets to wear one. It seems the filmmakers wanted very badly for him to be Dolph Lundgren, as his hair, makeup, and what's left of his outfits strongly recall Dolph. But Zagarino is not Dolph. Not by a long shot. Also he has numerous pictures of himself on his wall. Armstrong makes Project: Shadowchaser (1992) look like a masterpiece.

One of the better things about Armstrong is its cast of familiar faces. Joe Lara goes over the top as Ponytail, but his unfinished beard really left a sense of incompleteness in the viewer's hearts. He resembles a mid-90's Dennis Miller. We liked him better as the good guy in such films as American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) and Hologram Man (1995). Napier gets slightly more screen time here than in Center of the Web (1992), and he even gets to do some "Napier-Fu", but the extreme sweatiness is unpleasant. Kimberley Kates was a great choice for the eye candy, and Richard Lynch proves he's the most versatile guy in DTV cinema, here living it up as a drunken, carousing Russian military general, the next day playing an Italian gangster with aplomb.

But sadly, try as they might, even the mightiest DTV cast cannot overcome the inanity of Armstrong. Whoever wrote the dialogue, you'd think they would be satisfied by the fact that is completely mind-numbing, but no, it's incredibly repetitive too! Many things are said more than once. I don't know which is worse, if it was unintentional, or if they were so proud of their great writing, the writer thought we should hear it multiple times. Or they could have assumed their audience is just stupid. Big mistake. The dialogue alone detracts major points from Armstrong.

Because of the dialogue and dumbness, not to mention how irritating Rod Armstrong is, almost in a Sloane (1984) sort of way, you really don't care about the characters and situations. Add to that a jumbled and unclear plot and you have a serious mess on your hands. Perhaps the ultimate "turn off your brain" movie, unless you are a die hard fan of any of the actors here or DTV movies themselves, it might be wise to steer clear of Armstrong.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Special Forces (2003)

Special Forces (2003)-* * *

Directed by: Isaac Florentine

Starring: Marshall R. Teague, Tim Abell, Danny Lee Clark, Troy Mittleider, Daniella Deutscher, Eli Danker, and Scott Adkins





"They fight for your life."






Far and away the best of the American Heroes series. If the other films only followed this one's lead, the series as a whole would be a lot better. But luckily for Special Forces, it stands alone as the clear winner.

Jess (Abell), Bear (Clark), Wyatt (Mittleider), and Reyes (T.J. Rotolo) are an elite counter-terrorism team. They are under the command of Major Don Harding (Teague).  When megalomaniacal dictator Rafendek (Danker) kidnaps and imprisons American journalist Wendy Teller (Deutscher) in exchange for some of his "freedom fighters" to be released from Guantanamo Bay, the Special Forces are sent into the eastern European town of Muldonia to rescue her, and take down Rafendek and his men. Rafendek is the type of guy who massacres his own people for fun, and Wendy caught it all on film. He's also a Bosnian refugee that has a history with Maj. Harding. Not to mention the corrupt government officials in his back pocket. With the help of a British martial arts expert with motives of his own, Talbot, (Adkins) will they be able to take down this evil warlord gone rogue and save the girl - or will Harding relive his previous Bosnia experience all over again?

Special Forces is much more watchable than the others in the series, even enjoyable! The plot is clearer, the camerawork is actually interesting, and there are hand-to-hand martial arts fights that really work, thanks to Scott Adkins, a likable presence who clearly could be the next Gary Daniels. The movie really stands on its own from the series, thanks to the capable direction of Isaac Florentine. We actually know who the Special Forces are, thanks to the very simple but tide-turning idea of showing their names on the screen when we first meet them. It may seem obvious, but it makes ALL the difference. Now we know who they are, as opposed to the mess of the other American Heroes films.

The movie starts with more murders than ten movies of its kind put together, and the plot basically is these few Special Forces versus an entire army of bad guys. So needless to say there are countless deaths during the progress of the movie, and plenty of guns going "pew pew!", and the necessary guard tower falls and blow-ups, but you care more this time around. Especially with the revenge subplot involving Harding and Refendek. And with the addition of Scott Adkins, we get some well-staged hand-to-hand combat, not just mindless shooting. The final fight with Rafendek's beret-ed henchman is certainly a standout.

We also get some classic catchphrases such as "Smoking will kill ya!", and some more tastefully done patriotism this time around. There's also some good atmosphere, and everything is just more competent here than in the other films. It should have been released during the golden video store era of the 80's/early 90's, instead of being lumped with the other "American Heroes" movies.

If you watch one from the American Heroes series, make sure it's Special Forces.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty