The Ghost (2001)

The Ghost (2001)- * * *

Directed by: Douglas Jackson

Starring: Michael Madsen, Julie Lee, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Richard Hatch, Michael Paul Chan, Al Leong, George Cheung, Brad Hunt, Louis Herthum, James Hong, Brad Dourif, and Henry Smalls as Henry

Jing (Lee) is an assassin for the Tongs who is so elusive, she's known as "The Ghost". After she gets on the wrong side of evil baddie Chang (Tagawa), he vows to hunt her down and kill her. She makes that much harder for him by flying from Hong Kong to Los Angeles so she can pose as the Asian mail-order bride to a man named Edward Cosgrove (Hatch). While initially the relationship between the two is just for her cover, she gradually begins to genuinely fall for the good-natured Edward.

Meanwhile, an underling for Chang, Inspector Wu (Chan), and a bunch of his heavies, follow Jing to L.A. But because they don't know where she is, they end up at the doorstep of one Daniel Olinghouse (Madsen), of Olinghouse Bail Bonds. Olinghouse and a Lt. Garland (Dourif) of the LAPD have a working relationship despite some past troubles, and the men are tasked by Chang and Wu to find Jing. 

But it comes at an ever-increasing price. Olinghouse's bail bondsmen Browner (Herthum) and Sink (Hunt) may be masters of disguise, but it's going to take all the ingenuity of Olinghouse to finally track down the crafty Jing. Will anyone finally bust THE GHOST?

Yes, The Ghost is stupid and dumb and all that, but thankfully it's the GOOD kind of stupid and dumb. It's all very enjoyable and entertaining - far more so than you'd think it might be. Of course, there are the standard low-budget pitfalls: a cheap overall look, rough edits, amateurish acting, questionable fight choreography, and the like, but somehow, against all odds, it manages to win you over. You have to love it. It only adds to the viewing experience. 

If you like awkward dialogue delivered awkwardly amidst awkward stagings, The Ghost is the movie for you. It easily could have been another dud like Double Deception (2001), but it manages to sidestep that by having a silly charm all its own.

The solid cast and 85-minute running time also help a lot. First off, we have Julie Lee as The Ghost. Her character does go through an important arc: she starts off as an Asian Minnie Driver, but she ends up as an Asian Anjelica Huston. We really grew to love her flat-as-a-board line readings in her husky (some wags might say "mannish") voice. Especially in her "beating up MAP's (Middle-Aged Punks)" scene, she was reminiscent of Tiana Alexandra going undercover as "Cinderella Pu" in Catch the Heat (1987). She was good in her Martial Arts fight scenes, but it's hard not to be upstaged by Henry Smalls as Henry.

The Ghost, as a film in total, needed more Henry! His character was unquestionably the movie's highlight. Any time he was on screen, we shouted "Yes!" We loved him, and we should have seen more of him. 

Of course, there's plenty of Michael Madsen here for us all to enjoy. He brings his classic charisma, gravelly voice, and fantastic fashion choices to the fore. He's sort of the nucleus of the film and what we see revolves around him. The scenes between Madsen and Brad Dourif showcase an "odd couple" vibe that's fun to watch. Tagawa plays - you guessed it - a bad guy, just as he's done in every role in his career. We'd love to see something where he plays the good guy. But it seems he was typecast just because he looks evil. It's a shame.

On the other end of that spectrum, Richard Hatch plays the innocent guy caught up in all this, not to mention the romantic male lead, and honestly it's probably the best Hatch we've seen to date.

B-Movie mainstays such as Al Leong, George Cheung, and James Hong, among others, round out the cast. The whole outing is amusing and funny. Maybe you have to have a sense of humor to enjoy The Ghost, which it seems not everybody does.

The early 00's were not the best time for movies, so that means that The Ghost is probably the best movie of 2001 by default. For B-Movie DTV denizens such as ourselves, it's well worth seeking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fire Down Below (1997)

Fire Down Below (1997)- * * *

Directed by: Felix Enriquez Alcala

Starring: Steven Seagal, Marg Helgenberger, Stephen Lang, Brad Hunt, Levon Helm, Harry Dean Stanton, and Kris Kristofferson











Jack Taggart (Seagal) is an EPA agent with an attitude. In order to get to the truth about a large, illegal toxic waste-dumping scheme, he goes undercover as a handyman in rural Jackson, Kentucky, where the waste is said to be hidden. 

This toxic waste is causing the townsfolk to develop medical issues, and is even killing them. While Taggart finds friendly locals like Cotton (Stanton), Reverend Goodall (Helm), and Sarah Kellogg (Helgenberger), who he forges a relationship with, he does end up with a lot of opposition to his even being in their supposedly quiet little town. 

As it turns out, the sinister Orin Hanner (Kristofferson) is a corporate bigwig who is using the townspeople of Jackson as his own personal enforcers against Taggart so he can continue to make millions with his waste-dumping scheme. But Taggart vows to end this cycle of corruption and misery - by any means necessary. Will Taggart and his friends triumph over the forces of environmental evil? Find out today!

You know, it’s a funny thing...we’ve been so conditioned by Seagal’s latter-day efforts, that we assumed watching this older Seagal vehicle was going to be a crud-filled slog filled to the brim with mind-numbing stupidity. But we were very much refreshed and relieved to find out...wait for it...that Fire Down Below is actually a solid, worthwhile, and entertaining movie. Yes, that seems shocking, but that’s only based on the 2014 view of Seagal. 

Hark back to a time when he was a little thinner, his movies went to the theater, and the major studios ensured some level of professional quality. Seagal is as likable as Seagal gets, and he even smiles a few times. Plus his jackets are truly amazing fashion pieces. (Hence, we ventured a supposition that his full name in the movie was Jacket Taggart). This was in Seagal’s “Environmental” phase, where he wore buckskin coats and all his movies had to be about pollution or rainforests or something. Somehow his interest in that seems to have faded, as his latter-day DTV efforts seem to have him more as an unlikable thug.

If Hard Target was Van Damme’s “Bayou” movie, then Fire Down Below is Seagal’s answer to that. There’s plenty of banjo-pickin’ country music on the soundtrack (a lot of which is by Seagal himself, with none other than Todd Smallwood of Street Knight musical fame...what an amazing team-up!), and the first image of the movie is highly reminiscent of the cover of classic SNES game Phalanx. But the idea of a butt-kicking EPA agent who becomes “Undercover Handyman” is an enjoyable idea, but the whole “classic corrupt small town” feels very familiar.

But here’s the bottom line as we see it: Because this is a rural movie, which is very well-shot and has a nice atmosphere, and has a refreshing emphasis on actual characters, it seems the movie as a whole would have gotten more recognition and critical acclaim had it starred Billy Bob Thornton or Ed Harris instead of Steven Seagal. 

Take out some of the action scenes, and this could have worked well as a low-key drama like Chrystal (2004), Paris Trout (1991) or Sling Blade (1996).  But because this is a Seagal movie, it ran into a dilemma: As a drama, it’s not going to please drama fans, and as a straight-up action movie, it runs the risk of upsetting action buffs who have to have everything go at a breakneck pace with tons of brutal violence. 

We suppose the intended audience is...us, really, because we appreciate actual storytelling, atmosphere, and characters, as well as action. But we applaud Seagal and the rest of the cast for actually trying to make something respectable and not your average crud.

So set your newly-minted (and extremely warranted) modern-day Seagal prejudices aside and feel free to delve into the world of classic, pre-obese Seagal. We’re not afraid to say we thought Fire Down Below was a winner.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty