Malone (1987)

Malone (1987)-* * *

Directed by: Harley Cokeliss

Starring: Burt Reynolds, Lauren Hutton, Kenneth McMillan, Tracey Walter, Cynthia Gibb, Scott Wilson, and Cliff Robertson 












Richard Malone (Reynolds) is a former CIA assassin and Special Ops soldier whose car breaks down in the sleepy burg of Comstock, Oregon. He’s trying to escape his past, but he runs afoul of the sinister Charles Delaney (Robertson), a small-town megalomaniac who is trying to take over the world. While in Comstock, he makes friends with the kindly mechanic and garage owner Paul (Wilson), and develops an interesting relationship with his young daughter Jo (Gibb of Death Warrant  fame). The town he’s in is so small, he even develops fame among the locals as “The Guy With The Car Trouble”. Even though Jamie (Hutton) is trying to stop his violent ways, he cuts through the corruption and red tape of the local Sheriffs and takes on Delaney and his many goons. 

Malone is 90 minutes of stupid entertainment at its finest. It’s chock full with funny lines and absurd situations, way too many to recount here. Burt Reynolds' monosyllabic performance is just amazing - his contempt for the very fact that he has to be there is so open and unmasked. Luckily for the audience, that’s absolutely hilarious.  But it’s not just Reynolds who has checked out: Robertson as the smarmy land developer who sends thugs to kill off his rivals is a total paycheck role. Both men phoned in their roles to extremely funny effect. I assume this was unintentional. Perhaps Reynolds assumed his mustache, funny faces, expanding gut and bizarre toupee would carry the day. As it turns out, he was right! It totally does.

A lot of the running time of Malone is comprised of various people asking Richard Malone what his name is. There’s always a pause, and then Reynolds exasperatingly exhales “Malone”. This takes up a good 20-30 percent of the film’s running time. Fortunately, this scenario gets funnier every time it happens.

It has been noted the film’s many similarities to the classic Western Shane (1953), but it also appears the later Radical Jack (2000) was heavily influenced by Malone (as has everyone else that’s ever seen it). A mysterious man comes to a small town, a man that happens to be trained in the deadly arts, and tries to stop yet another small-town crime boss (I guess every little town has one) and must fight the “evil yokels” along the way.

On the technical side, if you live in America and have Netflix streaming, watch Malone that way. It’s in widescreen and the print they found is stunning. Even though we had seen it on VHS previously, watching it on streaming was like watching it for the first time. It really brought out the full potential and many nuances of the film.

You’ll be singing “I think we’re Malone now” as you laugh your way through this very enjoyable gem.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Enter The Ninja (1981)

Enter The Ninja (1981)-* *

Directed by: Menahem Golan

Starring: Franco Nero, Susan George, Christopher George, Will Hare, Zachi Noy, and Sho Kosugi













Cole (Nero) is a macho, mustachioed man who trains at a ninja school to master the art of Ninjitsu. Upon completing his studies, his rival, Hasegawa (Kosugi), presumably because Cole is a white Westerner, screams “He is not a ninja!” and storms off. Undaunted, Cole travels to the Philippines to visit his old army buddy  Frank (Courtney) and his wife Mary Ann (George). They have a lot of property there and they while away the hours enjoying cockfights with their poor laborers.

As it turns out, the sinister, “Mr. Big”-type villain, Mr. Venarius (Christopher George, no relation to Susan) wants their land. His henchmen, Mr. Parker (Gregory) and the memorable Siegfried “The Hook” Schultz (Noy) are ineffectual in securing Frank’s property for their own evil ends, so Venarius commands an army of white-suited baddies to take it. But they didn’t count on one thing: Cole and his newly-minted Ninjitsu skills! Additionally, Cole’s old nemesis Hasegawa is on the loose and Cole must deal with that. Will the power of Ninjitsu prevail for the good guys?

Not only did Cannon films and Sho Kosugi lead the pack during the ninja boom of the 80’s, they actually kicked it off with this, their first “ninja” film back in ‘81. Let’s remember that besides the Sho movies, Cannon also gave us the American Ninja titles as well as movies such as Ninja III: The Domination (1984). Smartly, the main hero role is played by a man who was an established star, at least in many territories around the world: Franco Nero. It may seem weird that Sho has a secondary role as Cole’s rival ninja, especially when most of the film’s running time is devoted to “Nero-Fu”, but this was a proving ground for Kosugi, who after this ruled the ninja film world.

However, the opening titles sequence does have Sho, well, “showing” off his array of ninja moves and weaponry (a la Revenge Of The Ninja). Unfortunately, there’s no opening or closing credits song. The beginning and end of the movie deliver the ninja goods, but it’s what’s in the middle that lags. Yes, there is a lot of cool and bloody ninja violence, but the audience is not emotionally invested in the Cole character as portrayed by the dubbed-by-someone-else Nero. (Also I should mention that the “bad” ninja, Hasegawa wears a black outfit, the white guy, Cole, wears a white outfit, and there are some red ninjas as well. Could this be ninja profiling?) The characters of Dollars (Hare) and the aforementioned hook-handed Siegfried add color to the proceedings, and Christopher George camps it up as an over the top baddie, but the movie is just too long at 104 minutes.

While Enter The Ninja is classified rightly as one of the premier ninja movies, its slow pace is a hindrance and most of the film is a run-of-the-mill actioner - one that should have been trimmed down to at least 90 minutes. It has silly, Scooby-Doo-like musical stings, and despite the presence of people like Susan George, who we always love seeing, it’s hard to become invested. However, it is very well-shot and the Philippines locations look beautiful.

Like certain TV shows when you compare the first season to later seasons when the show hits its stride, such as The Simpsons or South Park, this pioneering Ninja Boom entry is not a bad film, but, for the ninja film fanatic, the best was yet to come...

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty