Wild Team (1985)

Wild Team (1985)- * *

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Antonio Sabato, Ivan Rassimov, Franco Fantasia, Julia Kent, Salvatore Borghese, and Werner Pochath 









 On the island of Manioca, an evil, “El Presidente”-style leader named Gomez has kidnapped the son of the rebel leader, Cordura (Fantasia), who is described as a “symbol of freedom” for the Maniocan people, although they seem pretty free as it is if we’re to judge by their carnivale-style antics. A group of men in suits in Miami who work for a mining operation, and are tied up in the whole revolutionary battle financially, decide they could either spend millions of dollars mounting a rescue operation to save the son, or they could do it on a budget by employing The Wild Team! 

So naturally they hire a man named Martin Cuomo (Sabato) - not to be confused with action powerhouse Mario Cuomo - and his group, consisting of Theo (Pochath), Paco (Borghese), Marius (Rassimov), and female explosives and short-shorts expert Sybil Slater (Kent). The Wild Team, or perhaps the Thunder Squad (they should really make up their minds), go to Manioca and shoot/blow up some people/huts in order to save the boy and win the day. But will they be successful?

This is a disappointingly mediocre jungle slog, especially considering the fact that Lenzi directed it and it has some top-name Italian action B-movie stars. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s just kind of blah. Even at less than 90 minutes, it drags. It’s all very by-the-numbers, a typical - even stereotypical - exploding hutter that you’d have to be a diehard fan of Lenzi or any of the personalities involved in order to really want to see. 

But at least they’re open and honest about what this is: at one point, Cuomo, played by Antonio Sabato Sr., says, in reference to Sybil and her explosive abilities, and we quote, “she’s gonna blow up that hut.” That might be the first ever on-camera bit of spoken dialogue directly referencing an exploding hut. So the movie may go down in history for that, but there’s nothing else standout about the film overall.

There’s really no character development per se, so you don’t truly care about the characters or their mission like you should. The sole reason you might care is because of who the actors are and because fans know them and have seen them before - and that’s not good. It’s unfair to put all the weight on the personalities of Sabato, Pochath, Rassimov and the rest, simply because we know them and have seen them previously. 

They should all have been individually built up a bit more. That being said, there is a very silly fight scene where you can’t tell if what you’re hearing is the sound of punches connecting or someone slappin’ some bass on the soundtrack. Truth be told, the best part of the movie is probably the Stelvio Cipriani score, which is really no surprise. And there’s something cool involving a bow and arrow. But that’s pretty much it.

Because it lacks edge, surprises, or anything really impactful, The Wild Team is a miss for Lenzi and the gang. In brief, this team really isn’t that wild; it should have been wilder. Like Jack Wild.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and Cool Target! 

Hands Of Steel (1986)

Hands Of Steel (1986)-* * *

AKA: Queruak

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Daniel Greene, Franco Fantasia, George Eastman, Janet Agren, and John Saxon

A big thank you to Sutekh from Explosive Action for providing us with a copy!









In a post-apocalyptic city, Rev. Arthur Mosely (Fantasia) is the man controlling things. With posters pasted all around that scream “You Have No Future”, the populace is understandably despairing. Enter a hulking brute named, inexplicably, Paco Queruak (Greene). Queruak is 80% cyborg and has been programmed to kill Mosely. After seemingly completing his mission, Paco goes on the run and ends up in rural Arizona. He stops at a road house run by Linda (Agren) and begins working there, as well as developing a relationship with her. But her joint is known for its rowdy arm-wrestling competitions. A man named Raul (Eastman) sure does love to wrist-wrassle. All the while, a mysterious businessman named Turner (Saxon), as well as his goons, are after Paco because they want to stop him, and they will stop at nothing to do so. Dodging danger at every turn, what will happen to Paco Queruak?

Paco Queruak. That name is really all you need to know. The minds that could come up with that applied their talents to an entire movie. How do you even pronounce that last name? Is it like Jack Kerouac? Because if so, Paco Queruak is the real “beat poet”, if you know what we mean. Hands of Steel is director Sergio Martino’s take on the movies of the day - it’s sort of a melange of The Terminator (1984) and Robocop (1987) if they were to walk into a Road House (1989) and go Over The Top (1987). Impressively, Hands of Steel pre-dated all those movies except The Terminator. Martino would go on to use Daniel Greene in American Tiger (1990) a few years later, but here he’s cast perfectly as the lead, because he can be as robotic as he wants to be.

In the future there are plenty of abandoned warehouses, signs warning against acid rain, and, perhaps most dangerously, John Saxon with a laser cannon. It seemed like Saxon was going to have a sit-down role for most of the movie until this scene occurred. It’s worth watching this movie for this part alone. Plus there’s an evil cyborg named Susie that is uncredited in the movie but looks a lot like Daria Nicolodi. But as for the lead, Daniel Greene as - one more time - Paco Queruak - for a guy with “Hands Of Steel” he sure ends up in the right place. That being a place where arm wrestling is king. And during a computer run-down of his attributes as part man and part machine, this is seen on the screen: “Negative Characteristics: None”. So he really is the perfect man. But the strange coda at the end of the movie just may confuse things. You’ll just have to see it to know what we mean.

Highlighted by some great music by Claudio Simonetti, Hands Of Steel is a lot of fun and definitely worth checking out.

Also check out our buddy, RobotGEEK's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett