Soldier Of Fortune (1990)

Soldier Of Fortune (1990)-* * *

Directed by: Pierluigi Ciriaci

Starring: Daniel Greene, Savina Gersak, Danuta Lato, and Bo Svenson









Vincent Miles (Greene) is a former Green Beret who is an excellent soldier, but has suffered some form of amnesia. Sections of his memory are lost, but occasionally tiny portions flash back into his mind. He doesn’t want to give up his military skills, so he answers an ad in, you guessed it, Soldier of Fortune magazine. 

He travels to the border of Afghanistan, and this chance occurrence reunites him with his former Commanding Officer, Col. Preston (Svenson). The eyepatchioed Preston teams him up with a nerdy guy named Rossi, who naturally is acting as the brains of the mission, as well as a British guy and the token chick (played by Italo Disco singer Danuta). 

Their mission is to recover a Soviet plane, an ultra-modern MiG, before it falls into the hands of the enemy. With Miles’ memories of a mysterious dancer (Gersak), and his having to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to this dangerous assignment, will the team make it out alive?

It’s nice to see fan favorite Daniel Greene in the lead role, normally he’s relegated to smaller parts. And he does have the classic late 80’s/early 90’s cool hair if all else fails. Soldier Of Fortune is a bit more competent than you might think - yes, it is your standard machine gun-shooting/blow-ups galore/guy-diving-out-of-a-guard-tower movie, but the desolate location shooting and the presences of Greene, Danuta, Gersak (however limited that may be) and of course Bo Svenson raise the level a bit. Svenson is always nice to see, and his eyepatch looks more like a discarded watchband. So, there’s that.

Miles’ sidekick in the movie, Rossi, provides some comic relief as he traipses around the battle zone with cargo shorts and socks pulled up to his knees. Another facet of his character is that he “likes music” and always has a Walkman. This as they’re fighting the Spetznaz and various evil Russkies. Not to mention plenty of mustachioed locals. 

This movie was directed by Pierluigi Ciriaci, the man responsible for Delta Force Commando (1988) and Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990) - so there’s going to be some wackiness, inadvertent or otherwise. For example, the base of the heroes uses Disney code names. So we get dialogue, with the most unsmiling seriousness imaginable, such as: “Goofy 6 has been compromised”, “Disneyland’s in trouble” and personal favorite: “Donald Duck’s been replaced”.

But just when you think things are slowing down towards the end of the movie, there’s a nice little surprise which raises things up. We won’t give any spoilers, but let’s just say that if you have enjoyed movies such as White Fire (1984) or In Gold We Trust (1991), you’ll appreciate the development. It’s just too bad this idea wasn’t utilized earlier on in the movie. Great things could have happened. We’re grateful that it did happen, but in the end, Soldier Of Fortune really isn’t super-awesome, nor is it bad. It’s kind of run-of-the-mill. 


FINAL TECHNICAL NOTE:
Unfortunately, the only way to see this movie is the poor-quality DVD, unless you can miraculously find the Japanese VHS. Let’s hope a better edition makes it to DVD soon, the one currently available is a barely-watchable disgrace.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Striker (1987)

Striker (1987)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Enzo G. Castellari

Starring: Frank Zagarino, John Phillip Law, John Steiner, and Melonee Rodgers













When journalist Frank Morris (JPL) is jailed by the Sandinistas in Nicaragua, the one and only John “Striker” Slade (Zags) is sent in to rescue him because he’s the “best in extraction from hostile territories”. While in country posing as a Canadian photographer, he teams up with a local woman, Marta (Rodgers), who acts as his guide and confidante. Soon enough, the Strikester proceeds to decimate the population of Managua. But the true baddie behind it all is Kariasin (Steiner). His name even sounds evil (i.e. “carry a sin”.) With the odds stacked against him, will Striker be able to complete the mission and make it out alive? Find out today!

Striker is very fun, classically 80’s action and one of the better Rambo knockoffs we’ve seen to date. Marrying that with another popular DTV genre of the day, the El Presidente movie (don’t forget Nicaragua was a hot subject at the time and in the news a lot), and tied together in that wonderfully Italian way by co-writer Umberto Lenzi and the great director Enzo Castellari, there’s plenty to enjoy here.

One Frank Anthony Zagarino, or Frankie Zags as we like to call him, has one of the better (?) super-wooden monotones committed to film. His speaking voice is the equivalent to a hospital life-support flatline. He makes Don “The Dragon” Wilson sound like Crazy Eddie. His elocution aside, he has some radically awesome sunglasses that say to the world “the ultimate badass has arrived”. Plus he has a wide variety of ways to kill his enemies. Some movies contain just constant shooting and that can get boring after awhile. The makers of Striker had the good sense to realize that variety is the murderous spice of life. Famously, he even has a killer slingshot, making him look like Dennis the Menace in a fit of ‘Roid Rage.

Striker is, for all intents and purposes, what we normally call a Jungle Slog, but thankfully there’s really not much slog. There’s too much highly implausible and funny action on display. The movie basically succeeds in spite of the performance of Zags. For as little energy and screen presence as he brings to his dialogue scenes, that is counterbalanced by John Phillip Law (or JPL as we call him) - he really is at his absolute best in this movie. Plus Striker has one of the better exploding helicopters we’ve seen in a while, and naturally it has the prerequisite torture scene.

Not to be confused with any of the many other action heroes named Striker in the 80’s, this one has enough entertainment value to raise it above the level of many of its contemporaries. Chalk up another winner to AIP. Plus Jeff Moldovan is credited as a “Special Action Supervisor”, and Daniel Greene is on board in an uncredited role as a trucker. So you really can’t lose.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Hands Of Steel (1986)

Hands Of Steel (1986)-* * *

AKA: Queruak

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Daniel Greene, Franco Fantasia, George Eastman, Janet Agren, and John Saxon

A big thank you to Sutekh from Explosive Action for providing us with a copy!









In a post-apocalyptic city, Rev. Arthur Mosely (Fantasia) is the man controlling things. With posters pasted all around that scream “You Have No Future”, the populace is understandably despairing. Enter a hulking brute named, inexplicably, Paco Queruak (Greene). Queruak is 80% cyborg and has been programmed to kill Mosely. After seemingly completing his mission, Paco goes on the run and ends up in rural Arizona. He stops at a road house run by Linda (Agren) and begins working there, as well as developing a relationship with her. But her joint is known for its rowdy arm-wrestling competitions. A man named Raul (Eastman) sure does love to wrist-wrassle. All the while, a mysterious businessman named Turner (Saxon), as well as his goons, are after Paco because they want to stop him, and they will stop at nothing to do so. Dodging danger at every turn, what will happen to Paco Queruak?

Paco Queruak. That name is really all you need to know. The minds that could come up with that applied their talents to an entire movie. How do you even pronounce that last name? Is it like Jack Kerouac? Because if so, Paco Queruak is the real “beat poet”, if you know what we mean. Hands of Steel is director Sergio Martino’s take on the movies of the day - it’s sort of a melange of The Terminator (1984) and Robocop (1987) if they were to walk into a Road House (1989) and go Over The Top (1987). Impressively, Hands of Steel pre-dated all those movies except The Terminator. Martino would go on to use Daniel Greene in American Tiger (1990) a few years later, but here he’s cast perfectly as the lead, because he can be as robotic as he wants to be.

In the future there are plenty of abandoned warehouses, signs warning against acid rain, and, perhaps most dangerously, John Saxon with a laser cannon. It seemed like Saxon was going to have a sit-down role for most of the movie until this scene occurred. It’s worth watching this movie for this part alone. Plus there’s an evil cyborg named Susie that is uncredited in the movie but looks a lot like Daria Nicolodi. But as for the lead, Daniel Greene as - one more time - Paco Queruak - for a guy with “Hands Of Steel” he sure ends up in the right place. That being a place where arm wrestling is king. And during a computer run-down of his attributes as part man and part machine, this is seen on the screen: “Negative Characteristics: None”. So he really is the perfect man. But the strange coda at the end of the movie just may confuse things. You’ll just have to see it to know what we mean.

Highlighted by some great music by Claudio Simonetti, Hands Of Steel is a lot of fun and definitely worth checking out.

Also check out our buddy, RobotGEEK's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

American Tiger (1990)

American Tiger (1990)-* * *

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Mitch Gaylord, Daniel Greene, Sherrie Rose, Victoria Prouty, Michi Kobi, and Donald Pleasence





“Seduction: the greatest ally of death.”

"Miami just got hotter..."





Scott Edwards (Gaylord) (No, that’s his name) is just your typical college kid: to make ends meet he is a rickshaw puller in Coconut Grove, Florida. He’s getting his college degree presumably due to the fact that no one even knows Florida has a rickshaw industry. He attracts all the street business because of his snappy Tiger tanktop. Apparently, he was born in the Chinese year of the tiger. Isn’t your tanktop your preferred method of telling the world of your Chinese animal sign? Anyway, this must have attracted elderly Chinese mystic Madame Luna (Kobi), who Scott picks up one day during a rainstorm, so she watches out for Scott using a cat and a cobra that do her bidding. Meanwhile, Scott gets embroiled in a conspiracy and is framed for murder. Professional hitman Francis (Greene) is after him, so Scott goes on the run with prostitute Joanna (Victoria Prouty) and tries to clear his name. But the power and sway of televangelist Reverend Mortom (Pleasance) is going to complicate matters. And that barely covers the supernatural forces at work, apparently brought about by a “stone of evil”. Will Scott pull his way out of this one?

This movie is very, very weird. In a good way, of course. It probably doesn’t get the attention it deserves because of the title and box art. It seems like a standard type of thriller with no surprises, so customers must have left it on video store shelves.  Thanks to some poor marketing by Academy video, that is what it seems like. But like the world inhabited by Scott, Reverend Mortom and Madame Luna, all is not what it seems.  Anyone familiar with Italian horror and giallos will know the name Sergio Martino - the man is amazing. He’s worked in every genre imaginable - post-apocalyptic, Spaghetti Westerns, sexploitation, Poliziotteschi, the list goes on and on. For American Tiger, he brings the off-kilter sensibility he brought to such movies as After The Fall of New York (1983), Suspected Death of a Minor (1975) and Your Vice is a Locked Door and Only I Have the Key (1972), but this time adds the ultimate 80’s coolguy: one Mitch Gaylord.

Everything from the opening quote by Confucius to the music (featuring a song where the lyrics appear to be “I’m in a restaurant, whoah-oh”), to the utter strangeness of the ending, nothing ever makes concrete sense in this movie, giving it that addictive Italian feel that American filmmakers cannot achieve. It’s almost like Martino was going from his subconscious, almost like a dream, rather than any kind of written script. Thus, the vibe of this movie is impossible to describe, so we encourage you to see it for yourself. The only people that will not like it are filmgoers that demand everything make absolute sense all the time. But doesn’t that get boring after awhile? Movies like American Tiger give us a break from the ordinary and thus have memorable moments we can talk about. So we applaud that, even if it is confusing to our logical minds.

Daniel Greene, whose best role is in Hands of Steel (1986) but also appears in Skeleton Coast (1988) and The Maddening (1996), throws himself into his role and seems to be having a good time. We always love seeing Donald Pleasance, and while wags might accuse him of slumming here, we thought his presence added a lot, and besides, he’s been in much worse. Even Sherrie Rose appears briefly as well. But the man of the hour is clearly Gaylord, and if any gymnast is going to make a movie career, only he and Kurt Thomas should be able to do so. Can anyone explain why they were never in a movie together?

Also known as American Rickshaw (now there’s a title that’ll pull customers in), we definitely recommend American Tiger. We totally loved its unorthodox style.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Skeleton Coast (1988)

Skeleton Coast (1988)-* *1\2

Directed by: John "Bud" Cardos

Starring: Ernest Borgnine, Robert Vaughn, Leon Isaac Kennedy, Arnold Vosloo, Herbert Lom, Daniel Greene, and Oliver Reed












When his son Michael, who is an undercover CIA operative, is kidnapped and imprisoned by the Angolan army, his father Col. Bill Smith (Borgnine) snaps into action and assembles a team of inter-racial mercenaries to travel deep into Africa to free his son. This team includes, but is not limited to: Smith himself, Blade (Vosloo), Toshiro (Kwong), Sam (Mulford), Chuck (Kennedy) and Rick (Greene). All have their specialties in the fighting arts. On the side of the baddies we have Col. Schneider (Vaughn), supposedly an East German with some interests in the Angolan army vs. the rebels, and Capt. Simpson (Reed), yet another character who has his own interests. Add to this mix Elia (Lom) and you have a desert/jungle adventure best suited to Saturday afternoon viewing.

Clearly, the only real reason to see this movie is its incredible cast. Our hometown hero Ernest Borgnine leads the pack with his engaging and always-upbeat performance. It really is a pleasure to see him shooting machine guns along with all the younger cast. We also always love to see Oliver Reed doing what he does best - yelling crazily - whether he technically has to be there or not. He plays a very similar character here as he does in Rage to Kill (1987). Robert Vaughn brings his distinct voice to the proceedings, and a fairly early performance by Arnold Vosloo completes the picture. Interestingly enough, he met and married co-star Nancy Mulford when they met on this film. See, Skeleton Coast really brings people together.

While the many stars on show will draw viewers in, and there is plenty of beautiful scenery and such, the movie is kind of flat and feels like filler at times. It also has some wacky musical stings that seem inappropriate. Really, this is just a star-studded Exploding Hut movie, and it’s also a bit overlong (probably to try to accommodate all the characters).

On the technical front, if you watch this on Netflix streaming, the colors are soft and faded. On the Nelson VHS, that is not the case. The movie looks a lot more normal, with sharper colors. If you opt to buy this movie, look for the Nelson VHS.

While the wonderfully jolly Ernest Borgnine is a personal hero, Skeleton Coast really is nothing overly good OR overly bad. It’s kind of somewhere in the middle. If you’re a fan of any of the stars involved, and you’re okay with that, do proceed.  If not, your time might be better spent elsewhere. If Skeleton Coast was The Expendables (2010) of its day, then Ernest Borgnine truly is the original Stallone.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett