Endgame (1983)

 

Endgame (1983)- * * *

Directed by: Joe D'Amato

Starring: Al Cliver, George Eastman, Bobby Rhodes, Laura Gemser, Hal Yamanouchi, Gordon Mitchell, Gabriele Tinti, and Alberto Dell'Acqua

In the year 2025, a reality competition show called Endgame is the hottest thing on TV. It's basically The Running Man (1987), where costumed characters chase and try to kill the reigning champion. In this case, that would be Ron Shannon (Cliver). The baddies out to get him are Kurt Karnak (Eastman), Woody Aldridge (Rhodes), and of course who could forget Gabe Mantrax (Dell'Acqua)? But the game of Endgame is just the beginning of the tale.

It turns out that in 2025, obviously now a post-apocalyptic world, there is a race of telepathic mutants that just want to live in peace. Seeing that he's the toughest guy around, a woman named Lilith (Gemser), hires Ron Shannon to lead a band of the telepathic people to an area of safety. Stormtroopers wearing gas masks with an "SS" logo are on an extermination campaign against them. 

This roving caravan now includes such new characters as Martial Arts expert Ninja (Yamanouchi) and Bull (Tinti). Of course, the military higher-ups, led by Col. Morgan (Mitchell), are not happy about Shannon's defection from Endgame so he can help the downtrodden of our society find a better life. Morgan would rather he and the other warriors perform for his amusement. Will there be a better future for Shannon, Lilith, and the gang? Or have we finally reached ENDGAME?

Endgame is one of many Italian Post-Apocalyptic action films (or Post-Ap's, as we call them) that proliferated during the 80's. Coming hot on the heels of Enzo G. Castellari's 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982) and Escape From the Bronx (1983), Endgame even has a subtitle, Bronx Lotta Finale, which presumably is Italian for 'there is a lot of finale'. They must be talking about the end of the movie. While there are many more examples we can name, such as Sergio Martino's 2019: After the Fall of New York (1983), Endgame is one of two entries in the Post-Ap canon for Aristide Massaccesi (AKA Joe D'Amato), the other one being 2020 Texas Gladiators (1983). D'Amato assembles a stellar B-Movie cast with many names familiar to European exploitation fans.

The fact that Laura Gemser, her husband Gabriele Tinti (both of whom were D'Amato regulars), Al Cliver, George Eastman, Hal Yamanouchi, and Gordon Mitchell, among others, are all here, is cause for celebration. The movie around them, however, can get a bit staid and even boring at times. While the first third is certainly reminiscent of the aforementioned The Running Man - crossed with further Italian versions such as Castellari's Warriors of the Wasteland (1983) and Lucio Fulci's The New Gladiators (1984) (the latter of which also featured Cliver and Yamanouchi) - because of the 'game controlled by sinister overlords' plotline, Endgame dispenses with that after the first third and switches gears entirely to a more traditional Post-Ap scenario.

What's not so traditional is the idea of 'telepathic mutants', especially if the main two are Laura Gemser and a little boy. Some others call them "'mutes", for short (i.e., "let's go get those 'mutes!"). But because this is an Italian Post-Ap from 1983, which seemed to be the golden year for such things, we get the ragtag costumes, absurd makeup, and roughshod-slipshod vehicles driven by the crazy cast of characters. All the ingredients are there if you're a fan of this particular subgenre. Other ideas shine through as well, such as "Life Plus", a sponsor of the Endgame TV show and what would today be called an energy drink. Reality shows? Energy drinks? Mutants? Clearly D'Amato was well ahead of his time in 1983.

While we believe Endgame will satisfy Post-Ap fans, it can get a little slow and the pacing issues are exacerbated by the 97-minute running time. The budget does seem extra-low this time around, which isn't a problem for us but it may be for some people. But the cast and some of the crazier elements more or less paper over most of the flaws.

While it was originally released on the Media label on VHS, today it's streaming on Amazon Prime (as of this writing), so it can't hurt to check out Endgame. But you'd most likely have to already be a fan of the subgenre first before diving in.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Barbarians (1987)

The Barbarians (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: Peter Paul, David Paul, Virginia Bryant, Richard Lynch, Eva La Rue, George Eastman, and Michael Berryman



"The Barbarian Brothers as...The Barbarians"








In a mystical faraway land of swords and sorcery, two twin brothers are orphaned and adopted by a traveling caravan of weirdos. When the nefarious warlord Kadar (Lynch), in a quest for more power, attacks the traveling troupe and imprisons Queen Canary (Bryant) and enslaves the brothers in a work camp, at least some good comes out of it: a lifetime of lifting rocks has turned the two brothers into massively muscular “Barbarian Brothers”. Kutchek (Peter Paul) and Gore (David Paul) want to free their beloved Queen, so, along with another newly-freed victim of the wrath of Kadar, a girl named Kara (La Rue), they go forward on their quest. 

Along the way they meet all kinds of crazy characters and people, not the least of which are Dirtmaster (Berryman) and Jacko (Eastman). Will they slay the dragon? Will they find the magical ruby that fits into the bellybutton of the future queen? Will they argue and make weird, animalistic noises? Find out today!

Connecticut’s own The Barbarian Brothers truly come out to shine (literally - they glisten) in their first major, starring role. It truly was an amazing time for the film industry and the world of video stores alike  - the fact that projects like this could be made and distributed around the world would not happen today.  That Cannon would put Ruggero Deodato in the director’s chair, and - of all people - The Barbarian Brothers front and center is nothing short of a miracle. The result is a fairly freewheeling journey into a magical land filled with wacky costumes, crazy makeup, and oiled-up meatheads.

It was the 80’s, after all, and things like Dungeons and Dragons, He-Man, and the Conan The Barbarian series (he’s only ONE barbarian. Here you get two for the price of one) were huge. Not to mention video games like Iron Sword (remember the Fabio cover?), Gauntlet and later Golden Axe. Even the breastplate that one of the brothers wears later in the movie is very He-Man esque. 

And seeing as how Lucio Fulci directed Conquest (1983), Cannon probably figured, ‘okay, this sword-and-sorcery stuff is huge right now, let’s get another Italian director known for his horror/gore work and have him run the show’. Deodato provides a weird/wacky vibe, and the whole thing is well-shot in typical Italian style. While Dolph Lundgren was ideal casting for Masters of the Universe (1987) - could you imagine He-Man x2? Well, imagine no longer.

Fan favorite Richard Lynch was good casting as the baddie, and it’s probably the only time we’ve ever seen him with dreadlocks. He must have impressed Deodato after working with him on Cut and Run (1985). Same goes for Michael Berryman, who also appeared in that movie two years earlier for Deodato. Berryman is always cool to see, and he makes some great faces, and has some impressive headgear. Same thing for George Eastman, we always enjoy when he pops up when you’re not expecting him to, which happens fairly often. 

Eva La Rue makes a cute companion to the Barbarians on their quest, and there are some lesser characters with notable features such as a guy who can only be described as “Pee Wee Amidala” (you’ll know him when you see him) and a baddie who looks a lot like Bane. Interestingly, in this “origin story” for the Barbarian Brothers, they actually take the time to explain WHY they’re so huge, which you don’t often see for other meatheads. The brothers themselves have a silly kind of chemistry which has helped earn them a fan following.

The movie fluctuates between childish fun and more adult themes, so it’s hard to tell exactly who this was aimed for. Perhaps the ideal audience is immature young men like us. Featuring an uncredited song with the lyrics “Your ruby dreams taste so sweet”, The Barbarians remains a lightweight 80’s Barbaric good time.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write-ups from our buddies Dead Moon Night and The Video Vacuum!

The New Barbarians (1983)

The New Barbarians (1983)-* * *

AKA: Warriors Of The Wasteland

Directed by: Enzo G. Castellari

Starring: Fred Williamson, Giancarlo Prete, George Eastman and Giovanni Frezza


“The Templars are ministers of revenge!” - One








In the year 2019, after the nuclear holocaust, an evil band of marauding evildoers called The Templars want to be the ultimate “Warriors of the Wasteland”. These amoral baddies will stop at nothing to achieve their evil ends, but, unluckily for them, there are still heroes left in this harsh, unforgiving world. Scorpion (Prete), Nadir (Fred) and a young tot who’s handy with cars as well as a slingshot - making him a post-apocalyptic Dennis the Menace (Frezza) band together to fight the Templars and their leader One (Eastman). Will our heroes prevail - or will the Templars rule the ruins? Find out today!

The 80’s post-apocalyptic boom was in full force here - both in Italian production studios and shortly thereafter in video stores. With the usual suspects both in front of and behind the camera - director/co-writer Enzo G. Castellari, writer Tito Carpi, producer Fabrizio DeAngelis and most noteworthy of all, music by Claudio Simonetti - they probably figured “plot? Who needs plot? Let’s go out to the countryside and just see what happens.” And while you think that might not work, it totally does, because of all the creative inventions on show. By inventions we mean the outfits, props, hairstyles, vehicles, weaponry and all the little innovations in between. Thankfully, the untraditional approach of making the movie more about the inventions than anything else paid off.

Differentiating itself from the previous year’s 1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982), The New Barbarians is a rural post-apocalyptic escapade, while 1990 is a grimy urban tale. There are plenty of “pew pew!” lasers on show here, as well as plenty of flamethrowers, blow-ups, and of course the prerequisite torture scene. Additionally, it seems a lot of time was spent of the sound effects, which go a long way. Visually, there are many cool shots in the movie, and the beauty of the photography is clearly evident on Media Blasters’ DVD. Sadly, a lot of this was butchered on the Warriors of the Wasteland VHS released by Thorn EMI back in the day.

While Fred Williamson doesn’t seem to actually say very much in this movie, it’s okay, because he lets his bow and arrow with exploding arrows do most of the talking. The movie is filled with crowd-pleasing effects and moments: don’t you wish you had a button in your car that would make a door fly off just in case someone happened to attach a bomb to it? Man, those post-apocalyptic weirdos thought of everything! So don’t get so angry and frustrated you rip a bible in half with your bare hands - just watch The New Barbarians tonight!

Comeuppance Review by Brett and Ty

2019: After The Fall Of New York (1983)

2019: After The Fall Of New York (1983)-* * *

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Michael Sopkiw, Romano Puppo, Edmund Purdom, Paolo Scalondro, and George Eastman











Classic Sopkiw.

Michael Sopkiw plays Parsifal, a guy who loves racing cars around the Arizona desert and basking in the love of his fans for beating his opponents on the post-apocalyptic racing circuit. But his world is interrupted when he’s summoned to a secret base by The President of the Pan-American Confederacy (Purdom). He’s informed that he must break into New York City - which is controlled by deadly gangs called the Euraks - to rescue a woman from their clutches who can perhaps help to replenish the depleted population of earth. He also gets assigned two helpers: Ratchet (Puppo), who’s supposed to be one of the strongest men left on the planet, and Bronx (Scalondro), a man who has memorized the map of New York. During their mission, the three men meet tons of trials and tribulations, not the least of which is New York’s serious rat problem. They meet many wacky characters along the way, such as Big Ape (Eastman). Will they get out of NYC alive and save the world? Find out today!

Despite being the pride of our home state, Connecticut, Sopkiw starred almost exclusively in Italian productions. Between 1983-1985 he appeared in 2019, then did two movies for Lamberto Bava: Blastfighter (1984) and Devil Fish (also 1984), then one more for Michele Massimo Tarantini, Massacre In Dinosaur Valley (1985) then all but disappeared. Just more evidence that the 80’s was awesome - Italian productions were flourishing, and stars like Sopkiw had venues to flower and we got to know them all through our local video stores.  Sadly, that time is over, but gems like 2019 provide much-appreciated artifacts from that golden time period.

2019 appears to be the result of Sergio Martino throwing his hat into the then-hot post-apocalyptic genre. The movie has all the insane outfits, wonderfully decorated sets, innovative weapons and vehicles with crazy crap glued to them that any Italian post-nuke movie would have, and that fans have grown to love and have become accustomed to. Of course that includes flamethrowers and “Pew Pew” lasers. These movies were primarily meant to entertain, and 2019 completely succeeds. It has the ultimate coolguy for a hero, plenty of wild situations intermixed with brutal violence, and the time-honored innovations we often talk about, ensuring an 80’s Video Store Classic.

Speaking of video stores (though when aren’t we?), when 2019 was released on VHS by Vestron, they dropped the 2019 and just went with After the Fall of New York. Could this be because they wanted to bring the similarities to Escape From New York (1981) front and center? Nah. Can’t be. But then Joe D’Amato’s 2020 Texas Gladiators (1984) presumably picked up where this movie left off? Regardless, the Guido and Maurizio DeAngelis music (using their pseudonym Oliver Onions) is typically solid and appropriately synthy and futuristic. Their soundtrack to Street Law (1974) is hard to beat, but this one is a winner as well.

The Media Blasters DVD is a must-own if you’re into the Italian post-apocalyptic genre. It looks great in widescreen and even has an intro from Michael Sopkiw. We recommend it.

Also check out write-ups from our buddies: RobotGEEK, The Video Vacuum, and Trash Film Guru!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hands Of Steel (1986)

Hands Of Steel (1986)-* * *

AKA: Queruak

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Daniel Greene, Franco Fantasia, George Eastman, Janet Agren, and John Saxon

A big thank you to Sutekh from Explosive Action for providing us with a copy!









In a post-apocalyptic city, Rev. Arthur Mosely (Fantasia) is the man controlling things. With posters pasted all around that scream “You Have No Future”, the populace is understandably despairing. Enter a hulking brute named, inexplicably, Paco Queruak (Greene). Queruak is 80% cyborg and has been programmed to kill Mosely. After seemingly completing his mission, Paco goes on the run and ends up in rural Arizona. He stops at a road house run by Linda (Agren) and begins working there, as well as developing a relationship with her. But her joint is known for its rowdy arm-wrestling competitions. A man named Raul (Eastman) sure does love to wrist-wrassle. All the while, a mysterious businessman named Turner (Saxon), as well as his goons, are after Paco because they want to stop him, and they will stop at nothing to do so. Dodging danger at every turn, what will happen to Paco Queruak?

Paco Queruak. That name is really all you need to know. The minds that could come up with that applied their talents to an entire movie. How do you even pronounce that last name? Is it like Jack Kerouac? Because if so, Paco Queruak is the real “beat poet”, if you know what we mean. Hands of Steel is director Sergio Martino’s take on the movies of the day - it’s sort of a melange of The Terminator (1984) and Robocop (1987) if they were to walk into a Road House (1989) and go Over The Top (1987). Impressively, Hands of Steel pre-dated all those movies except The Terminator. Martino would go on to use Daniel Greene in American Tiger (1990) a few years later, but here he’s cast perfectly as the lead, because he can be as robotic as he wants to be.

In the future there are plenty of abandoned warehouses, signs warning against acid rain, and, perhaps most dangerously, John Saxon with a laser cannon. It seemed like Saxon was going to have a sit-down role for most of the movie until this scene occurred. It’s worth watching this movie for this part alone. Plus there’s an evil cyborg named Susie that is uncredited in the movie but looks a lot like Daria Nicolodi. But as for the lead, Daniel Greene as - one more time - Paco Queruak - for a guy with “Hands Of Steel” he sure ends up in the right place. That being a place where arm wrestling is king. And during a computer run-down of his attributes as part man and part machine, this is seen on the screen: “Negative Characteristics: None”. So he really is the perfect man. But the strange coda at the end of the movie just may confuse things. You’ll just have to see it to know what we mean.

Highlighted by some great music by Claudio Simonetti, Hands Of Steel is a lot of fun and definitely worth checking out.

Also check out our buddy, RobotGEEK's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett