Jungle Heat (1985)

 

Jungle Heat (1985)- * *1\2

Directed by: Jobic Wong

Starring: Sam Jones and Mei Sheng Fan

In the waning days of the Vietnam war (presumably around 1975 or so but it's never said specifically) the American forces evidently need truck drivers for supply runs. Maybe it's because of all the previous casualties, but they can't find any drivers. So a ragtag team is assembled and quickly trained. The head of the New Truck Driver Training Unit, which is presumably what this endeavor is called, is Gordon (Jones). After some training, which is brief by Army standards but lengthy by movie-viewing standards, the guys are sent off into the deadly jungles of 'Nam. Many obstacles are thrown in their way, but none are more challenging than the head baddie (played by Mei Sheng Fan of Story of Ricky and Attrition fame), a sadistic torturer. Some kidnappings, shootings, blow-ups, truck chases, and other exploding-hut-esque activities follow, and it's all capped off by a bizarre motorbike competition to see who can skid under a logging truck. Maybe the JUNGLE HEAT is getting to us all...


When the first shot of any film is a framed picture of Richard Nixon on the wall, which then zooms out so the dialogue and and action can begin, you know you're in for a good time. Well, some of the time. Not this time. But still, it was a wacky start and there are some noteworthy things about the largely lackluster Jungle Heat.


It helps if you're a Sam Jones fan. He brings some interest and life to the proceedings, his classic spiky brush cut towering over the other, smaller-in-stature and less-stylishly-coiffed cast. Unfortunately, his voice is dubbed just like everyone else in the film, and if you know Sam Jones's voice, as we all do, the overdubbed voice he was given seems to not be a fit. Those loud, no-subtlety, nattering voices that seemed all the rage at this time are punishing on the ears. They make the explosions and gunfire sound like Barry White by comparison.


Jones was also a truck driver in Driving Force (1989), so he was familiar with plots involving...truck driving. It may not be the most thrilling way to kick off an action film, but it's all in the execution. Sadly, Jungle Heat doesn't focus on execution (unless you count some unlucky POW's). The film just lazily goes from incident to incident, winding and babbling like the Mekong river itself. This lax and basically structureless approach to plotting is similar to Karate Warrior 6 (1993): something happens, then something else happens, then maybe something else, but there's no continuity or "glue" holding it all together. Maybe this flies in some countries, but to our American eyes it just seems boneless and blobby.


Adding to the negatives column, there are huge swathes of time where Sam Jones is absent. However, as indicated earlier, it's not a total loss: There's a classic silly barfight to watch out for, and some of the violence is pretty wicked, including a standout gore moment that was appreciated, but seems tonally out of whack with the rest of the goings-on. We always mention "PT", or Prerequisite Torture, which, in a post-Rambo world, was, well, prerequisite for these lower-budgeted productions. They needed an inexpensive way to stand out and that was how they chose to do it. Jungle Heat takes it a bit far, with more torture than its Mercs-box-set/When-The-Vietnam-War-Raged-In-The-Philippines competitors, even making its main baddie not simply a baddie, but a huge torture fan.


Also of note is that the bald guy on the good guys (?) team was apparently named Mazo, but all we heard was "Matzoh". The idea that an East Asian warrior man would be named Matzoh is so unbelievably absurd that you just have to laugh. Or maybe not. I hear he's a big hit at Passover Seders.


There is a rare movie that, as of this writing, we're looking for: Jungle Heat (AKA Rapid Fire) from 1988. It has Cynthia Rothrock, George Chung, Leo Fong, Chuck Jeffreys, and Richard Norton. Based on the cast alone, it's probably better than this film of the same name from '85. There are also other movies called Jungle Heat out there: one dates all the way back to 1927, another from 1957, and one from 1983, which is also called Dance of the Dwarfs and stars Peter Fonda and Deborah Raffin. Just to avoid any confusion, the one under discussion today was directed by Jobic Wong (which sounds more like an argument over a pen: "That ain't Jobic, that's my Bic!").


In the end, if you like movies like War Camp or maybe even Dog Tags, you may be able to wring some entertainment value out of the rag that is Jungle Heat. Sam Jones has done better, and there are far more explosive and entertaining entries in the Exploding Hut genre, such as Mannigan's Force or Commander. Maybe go with those instead, unless you're on a quest to see every Jungle film of all time.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fire In The Night (1985)

 

Fire In The Night (1985)- * * *

Directed by: John Steven Soet

Starring: Graciella Casillas, Patrick St. Esprit, and Muni Zano 

Terry Collins (Casillas) is a small-town girl who works at the local diner. Her problem is that professional jerk Mike Swanson (St. Esprit) is constantly harassing her. The Swanson family "owns the town" and Mike does what he pleases without consequences - until Terry finally decides she's had enough.

The two make a bet, that Terry can throw Mike into the water at the waterfront. If she wins, the tyranny of the Swanson family may finally end. God help us all if Mike wins the contest. He arrogantly doesn't take Terry all that seriously. Naturally, the first thing the Collins family does is go to the International School of Folk Dance. They try to enlist the help of Manolo Calba (Zano) for Terry's training. Of course, he initially says no but eventually agrees. The stage is now set for the ultimate showdown: Terry vs. Mike. Who will get thrown in the water? That just may be the most important question you've ever asked yourself...

Fire In The Night has been described as "a low-budget Karate Kid", and that's not too terribly far off the mark. Perhaps the filmmakers thought they would confuse viewers (and avoid lawsuits) if the trainer was of Philippine origin and the student was a woman. In any case, the film is filled with rough-hewn charm. It's very 1985, and Casillas's line readings are wonderfully flat and carry a lot of the entertainment value here.

Burt Ward is here for a few brief minutes. He appears to be the head of some sort of Karate academy, but wouldn't his best advice be to use Shark Spray on the baddies? We liked that Terry's parents want her to get her revenge and are fully a part of her going to get trained to potentially kill someone. You don't usually see that level of parental consent. Patrick St. Esprit comes close to stealing the show as Mike, the guy who is a total jerkass 100% of the time, all the time. We hate to keep using the word "jerk" to describe him, but really Mike Swanson is the picture-perfect, dictionary definition of what a jerk can, should, and, dare we say, must be. St. Esprit does it well, anyway.

Okay, those are all the positives. In the negative column, there is a definite slowness to the movie, especially around the midway point where there is a dance recital (there's a surprising amount of "folk dancing" in Fire in the Night). It's then that an already slow film almost just stops in its tracks. Director John Steven Soet, who had previously directed a rare film called Skirmish (1981), and has directed nothing since FITN, evidently had some experience and cred in the Martial Arts community, which is a bit surprising considering how little forward drive, intensity, or energy FITN actually contains.

However, though, the charms of Fire In the Night do outweigh its faults (in this case, the charms ARE the faults, or perhaps the faults are the charms). It's best to see this if you're in an especially charitable mood. If you are, the overall stiffness, and things such as blows not coming anywhere near their target, people that look like they are in their 40's playing characters that are supposed to be in their 20's, boom-mike shadows, and the like, will seem delightful rather than amateurish.

Fire In the Night is low-budget, independent filmmaking, warts and all. And there's a lot to appreciate about that.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Mission Kill (1986)

Mission Kill (1985)- * *1\2

Directed by: David Winters

Starring: Robert Ginty, Cameron Mitchell, Merete Van Camp, Eduardo Lopez Rojas, Henry Darrow, Sandy Baron, and Olivia D'Abo

Cooper (Ginty) was a demolitions expert in 'Nam. He parlayed that into a career of blowing stuff up after returning home. When he meets up with his buddy, an older fellow Marine named Harry (Cam), at the Little Nashville Club to take in some ladies oil wrestling, Harry tells him he's running guns to the rebels in the South American country of Santa Maria. Harry, filled with a sense of patriotic pride (although what that has to do with the people of Santa Maria I'm not exactly sure), in his enthusiasm convinces the reluctant Cooper to come with him on one of his gun runs south of the border.

The two men hop into Harry's big rig, named Harry's Dream Machine, and they eventually reach their destination. However, much trouble follows as the baddies proceed to ambush them and Harry goes to the big oil wrestling ring in the sky. 

So Cooper figures the best way to get revenge is to join the rebels and slaughter as many of El Presidente's goons as he can. Thanks to an embedded wartime journalist named Bingo Thomas (Baron - unforgettable to Seinfeld fans as the irascible Jack Klompus), Cooper becomes an inadvertent media celebrity and the fight against El Presidente Ariban (Rojas) and the entrenched bureaucracy represented by Senor Borghini (Darrow) escalates to much bigger proportions than the rebels ever imagined before Cooper's arrival. But what about Sydney Borghini (Van Kamp)? Where do her true allegiances lie? You'll find out if you accept the mission that Ginty accepted: MISSION KILL.

In the 80's, there was a lot in the news about the turmoil in certain South American countries such as El Salvador and Nicaragua. While not South American, the incident on Grenada captured the public's attention as well. And, with the possible help of Stripes (1981), there was a renewed national fasciation with oil wrestling. With this context in mind, we have Mission Kill, yet another addition to the seemingly-endless El Presidente Boom of the 80's. Not just ninjas had a Boom back then, let's not forget. 

Mission Kill falls in with compatriots such as Cocaine Wars (1985) and Hour of the Assassin (1987). It's not particularly distinguished but it's not awful. It does have fan favorites Ginty and Cam, after all. Nothing with them could ever be a total disaster. But a better example of their pairing is another Winters film, Code Name: Vengeance (1987). In that case they're in Africa, not South America. But, you know, six of one, half a dozen of the other.

Despite some slow passages, we do get a healthy amount of shooting and blow-ups. The score has some very nice synthy moments underpinning it all. A brief exploding helicopter is also present and accounted for. We liked the plot device of Ginty being a demolitions expert: it gave a reason for the explosions (though one is never really needed, of course). He blew in Vietnam, and he blows today. 

Naturally, preceding all of this is an on-screen quote by William Faulkner from his 1950 Nobel Prize speech. Of course there is.

Featuring the catchy and memorable end credits song "Stand" by Jesse Frederick - which absolutely should have been used at about the mid-way point in the movie during a training sequence in order to pump things up but unfortunately isn't - Mission Kill can certainly be categorized as one of the El Presidente movies that took up video store shelf space in the 80's. It's not in any way bad, but it needed more focus and drive. If choosing between this and Code Name: Vengeance, pick Code Name: Vengeance. It's sillier and a bit more fun.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Heroes Three (1985)

Heroes Three (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Shing Hon Lau

Starring: Lawrence Tan, Laurens C. Postma, Kim Bill, Lim Wai-Kee, Hudson Leung, and Mike Kelly

Sailors Dutch Hagan (Postma) and Jim Burstall (Kelly) are on shore leave after traveling from Taiwan to Hong Kong. When a bunch of masked assailants start a brawl with them once they arrive, local private detective and part-time Tai Chi teacher Horatio Lim (Tan) joins in the fray with his newfound friends. 

When Burstall goes missing, it sets in motion a chain of events that leads all the way to the top of the Asian high finance industry. An unscrupulous businessman named Winter (Lovett?) wants to monopolize the gold market and it seems Burstall is involved somehow. However, there are a myriad of baddies looking to cause trouble for Hagan and Lim, as well as Hagan’s new love interest, who just happens to be Lim’s sister. These men, naturally, are named Ah “Coffin” Fang (Lim Wai-Kee), Night Club Wu (Hudson Leung), and Junkmaster Cheong (Kim Bill). Of course, many melees ensue. What will happen to the HEROES THREE?

Heroes Three is enjoyable, modest, and entertaining. It’s set in Hong Kong – and one of the movie’s strengths is some of its fascinating location photography – but has something of an international pedigree thanks to some of its American, British, and European cast and crew, as well as the fact that it was written by a guy named Pat Dunlop, who mainly worked in American TV. There’s a mix of the old culture of Hong Kong, and some of the new, modern technology of that time. For example, Lim has a high-tech command center complete with a stand-up arcade machine, and there are other scenes of characters playing arcade games. So the 80’s-ness is on display clearly, which gives it automatic points in our book.

Speaking of which, it all starts with a jaunty, synthy song which we think is called “Looking For You”, and sung by Rowena Cortes, who sings the closing ballad as well. Cortes had a nice career throughout the seventies, releasing five albums and two singles in the decade, even winning the 1976 Hong Kong Popular Song Contest. As far as we can tell, her work for Heroes Three was her last. 

The whole outing kicks off (literally) with not a Fruit Cart chase, but a Fruit Cart fight. After this display, one character calls another, and we quote, “a snoopie”. If anyone has ever called you or anyone you know a snoopie, please write in today. There are some large and funny burned-in English subtitles in some scenes that are quite amusing. Additionally, some poor schnook is not a victim of Chinese water torture, but Chinese milk torture. So, overall, there are some interesting tweaks that let Heroes Three stand out, and they don’t take things overly seriously, so it all has a fun vibe that is easy to like.

As in a lot of movies, there is a goon that looks a lot like David Cross. His name is Max Schwartz in the film, so do look out for him. But all the heavies in the movie are no match for Dutch Hagan, who wears a very intimidating Donald Duck sweatshirt. He has a lot of great activewear in the movie, but that shirt was probably the favorite. And, as if there was any doubt that it’s a Donald Duck sweatshirt, it has the words DONALD DUCK emblazoned in large letters across the top. Why this sweatshirt is made in adult sizes, we may never know. 

In the end, Heroes Three is a so-called “Chop-Socky” film with a difference. There’s a lot of action and fighting, but there’s some welcome diversity and it never gets boring. While the movie was released in many countries worldwide over the years, it didn’t have a ton of market penetration here in the U.S., and it was probably overshadowed by the contemporary Ninja Boom of the day. (Just to be clear, there are no ninjas in Heroes Three). Now that it’s on Amazon Prime – as of this writing – we say check it out. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum!

Death Wish 3 (1985)

Death Wish 3 (1985)- * * * *

Directed by: Michael Winner

Starring: Charles Bronson, Ed Lauter, Gavan O'Herlihy, Deborah Raffin, Alex Winter, and Martin Balsam

Paul Kersey (Bronson, of course) is back in action and back in New York City in this classic Cannon outing. When Kersey arrives, ostensibly to visit his old buddy, he immediately gets into a whole heap o’trouble, as you might expect. When a devious cop named Shriker (Lauter) unleashes Kersey into a crime-ridden East New York neighborhood, all he asks is that Kersey occasionally reports back to him, because he knows crime stats will drop dramatically. 

But Kersey is more interested in helping the poor inhabitants of an apartment tower that’s plagued with the rampant crime in the neighborhood. He makes fast friends with Bennett (Balsam), and even finds time for romance with public defender Kathryn Davis (Raffin). But the main order of the day is to take down gang leader Fraker (O’Herlihy) and his rampaging underlings. Soon enough, Kersey wages his one-man war against the baddies and ne’er-do-wells of New York…who will survive the onslaught?

Did Judas Priest write the song “Delivering the Goods” about this movie? Well, probably not, as it’s from 1978, but they easily could have. Death Wish III is when the franchise went from being serious-minded and 70’s to being ridiculous, over the top, and 80’s. On the one hand, it lost some of its “serious points”. But on the other hand, it gained a lot in terms of the fun quotient. And this movie is a ton of fun. 

The 80’s was the golden age of movies where punks take over the streets. Tenement (1985), Exterminator 2 (1984), Enemy Territory (1987), and Chains (1989) just to name a few. It’s a joy to watch Bronson blow the baddies away with a wide variety of weaponry. And set all that to a stellar Jimmy Page soundtrack, and you have a classic winner all around (and that’s not a pun based on the director’s name).

Martin Balsam is the classic old salt and he and Bronson make a stellar pairing. When Balsam first appears on screen, you expect to see a credit like “And Martin Balsam as Charles Durning in The Hal Holbrook Story, featuring Burgess Meredith and Ernest Borgnine, and with a special appearance by George Kennedy”. Needless to say, it’s awesome to watch the triumph of the older gentlemen over the disrespectful young whippersnappers. 

While wags may describe the movie as “stupid” or perhaps “mindless”, we say that anyone that levels those charges has no sense of fun and mirth. And if it is stupid, it’s the good stupid we’re always talking about. Honestly, ask yourself: is there anything better than Charles Bronson in the 80’s with a rocket launcher? After some deep soul searching, you will find the answer is no. Trust us, we’ve been there, man. 

Don’t get us wrong, we love the first two Death Wish movies. But the bleak, dour tone is gone here. Death Wish III marks the moment when the gray, overcast clouds broke and the sunlight flooded in. Our credo: Charles Bronson now, Charles Bronson forever!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Wheels Of Fire (1985)

Wheels Of Fire (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Gary Watkins, Lynda Wiesmeier, Joe Mari Avellana, Steve Parvin, Laura Banks, Linda Grovenor, and Jack S. Daniels

In, you guessed it, a post-apocalyptic future, a man named Max…er, sorry, I mean Trace (Watkins) drives around in a souped-up car that drives fast. His sister Arlie (Wiesmeier, not to be confused with noted Army man-turned-actor R. Lee Ermey) is in a relationship with Scott Baio lookalike Bo (Parvin), and there’s not much to do for entertainment except watch tournament fights to the death and drive around aimlessly.

All that changes when Arlie is kidnapped by baddies Scourge (Avellana) and Scag (Daniels). Now with a renewed sense of purpose and a mission to carry out, Trace travels the badlands meeting and/or fighting both human and Morlock alike in his quest to rescue Arlie. Along the way he picks up some allies in the form of warrior woman Stinger (Banks) and more subdued woman Spike (Grovenor) but truly Trace’s best weapons are his flamethrower and his stellar jumping abilities. Best notify your next of kin, as this WHEELS OF FIRE shall contain things that explode!

The fact that Mad Max came out in 1979 was fortuitous for low-budget movie producers. The burgeoning home video market was just about to really take over and become ubiquitous. That gave filmmakers a few years to produce countless knockoffs, rip-offs, clones, and carbon copies. Of course, they range in quality. Some are good, others are mediocre, and some are just bad, like any other kind of movie. Thankfully, Wheels of Fire (AKA Desert Warrior, AKA Vindicator, not to be confused with the Canadian Vindicator that came out the following year) is one of the better ones. It’s still very hard to top the Italian ones, but our old buddy Cirio comes darn close.

Wheels of Fire is well-shot, with really good use made of the Philippine locations. Of course, it delivers everything else you expect of post-ap’s, including shooting, blow-ups, car chases, fights, rampant nudity, amusing dialogue, and cars with crazy crap glued to them. The fact that Trace’s main weapon is a flamethrower is also pretty cool and different. Sure, it’s all fairly brainless, but what did you expect? At least it’s from the 80’s and it’s all pretty redolent of that golden, magical time. 

This also completes our Jack S. Daniels collection. Upon the viewing of this movie, we’ve officially seen and reviewed all five of the films he’s appeared in. He’s a charismatic guy who is fun to watch on screen. He’s one of our favorite character actors, and he should have been in more stuff, but we’re happy with what he did do. 

As for our main star, Gary Watkins, he should have done more as well; he had a lot of potential as an action star but the market was pretty flooded at that time. Even though the filmmakers – from his clothing to his hair – tried to make him look like Mel Gibson, he still managed to put his own stamp on things.

While Cirio went back to the post-apocalyptic well with Dune Warriors (1990), Raiders of the Sun (1992) – which starred Richard Norton but contains footage from Wheels of Fire (including Jack S. Daniels and Henry Strzalkowski footage, among other Philippines-set movie regulars that was ported over into the new, interpolated material) – and a supposed abomination called Water Wars (2014), Cirio’s last credited work which Jim Wynorski took over and contains footage from all three of the above-mentioned post-ap’s, best to stick with Cirio’s first and best of the three, Wheels of Fire. 

While there isn’t a ton of substance on show here, on balance Wheels of Fire is not bad and is pretty entertaining. It retains that “VHS vibe” and manages to be a better and more worthwhile watch than a lot of its post-apocalyptic competitors.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Crime Killer (1985)

The Crime Killer (1985)- * * *

Directed by: George Pan-Andreas

Starring: George Pan-Andreas, Carol Dingman and Jack Bliesener



“Is that all you care about? Justice and ouzo?”- Shannon










Zeus (Pan Andreas) is an LAPD (?) cop who shoots first and lets his thick Greek accent do the talking. After a shootout with some baddies where his partner dies (though not before warning Zeus first to “not get soft”), Zeus has to turn in his badge and gun. While his family is concerned about him, especially his wife Shannon (Carol Dingman), the CIA picks up the slack and recruits – or, if we may paraphrase Steele Justice – unleashes Zeus on the unsuspecting bad guy population. After some unnecessary boot camp training, Zeus is finally ready to rid the streets of crime – by killing it, of course – and living up to the President of the United States’s (Jack Bliesener) (yes, the President himself makes a personal appearance because he’s so impressed by Zeus's) promise to rid the streets of crime. Opa!

We know what you’re thinking: “I love the Dirty Harry movies, but the only flaw is that Clint Eastwood isn’t Greek enough.” Well, problem solved, my friend. Problem solved. Our latest hero, the great George Pan Andreas, is Dirty Hercules as he sends the baddies to hades.

The video store era was fantastic for many reasons, but one particularly stands out here: how one man (or, in the case of Renee Harmon, a woman) can achieve their dream of making a movie and getting it onto video store shelves, regardless of their level of English proficiency. Sometimes, one gem is created, like Pan Andreas did here, or Jorgo Ognenovski did much later, and sometimes a wildly successful career is forged, as in the case of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Our favorite thing that happens in some of these movies – or, should we say, doesn’t happen – is when other characters don’t acknowledge their thick accent in any way. Here, though, an angry CIA guy admonishes Zeus, “You and your accent will never change!” So, they were aware of it, but they forged ahead anyway. And the results are indeed something special. 

While it doesn’t quite reach the heights of classics like Samurai Cop (1991) or Miami Connection (1987), it comes very, very close. It has that off-kilter, funny, “what were they thinking?” vibe which we all love and enjoy. It’s also very similar to Revolt (1986). Vinegar Syndrome, Drafthouse, or Arrow should do a Blu-Ray of this movie. Then its charms will come more into the light, as they should, not languishing on a New World VHS, as we were able to see it.

While the movie, presumably, is supposed to be a gritty, street-level exploration of the nature of crime and its titular killer, the first thing the audience sees when it pops in the VHS is some bizarre imagery, including – and we kid you not – an ancient Greek statue shooting laser beams out of its eyes. And that’s during the opening credits. After that, we were truly prepared for anything. Then there were some silly fights, some sillier shootouts, some hilarious dialogue scenes, and it all culminates in the classic Final Warehouse Fight. Which is also really silly. Well, there’s one more scene after that, but we won’t spoil the magic. 

In that aforementioned credits sequence, under the name George Michaelides, it states, and we quote, “We thank you, we love you, God bless your soul”. We can’t say we’ve seen that before, but there are a lot of creative editing decisions in the movie. And guess who the editor is? We’ll give you two hints. He’s a modern-day Greek God, and his initials are GPA.

Of course, Zeus has the time-honored WYC (White Yelling Chief), and some of their exchanges are gold, but in this case it might be more accurate to call him a WYCWBFHWLELRT, which of course stands for “White Yelling Chief With Bizarre Facial Hair Who Looks Exactly Like Rip Taylor”. Just why, amongst all the potential Chiefs Pan Andreas could have chosen, he went with Morrell, remains unclear. Maybe Rip Taylor was busy filming Virtual Combat (1995) ten years in the future. Who knows? But thank goodness he did.

A movie highlight occurs when, going undercover to the lair of the baddies, Zeus goes all-out with his adeptness as a master of disguise. He assumes a new identity as a Mexican gardener at the baddie’s compound. By that we mean he dons a sombrero and speaks in a quasi-offensive “Mexican” accent. The sight (and sound) of Pan Andreas doing this… well, not to put too fine a point on it, but he should probably work on his American accent before he attempts Mexican – and it’s absolutely hilarious.


There are many other moments to treasure during the course of The Crime Killer, but that truly was, and is, a standout. And it’s all set to an alternating disco/sax/synth score. There’s even an end credits song which we think is called “Zeus – The Man”, but we couldn’t find an exact title, sung by Mel Carter and Sylvia Sahcmwell. They were clearly going for a Shaft vibe, with the only difference being that there are some lyrical mentions to Zeus’s love for ouzo. You have to love it.

The Crime Killer is a wacky winner just waiting to be rediscovered. It was right up our alley.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Commando (1985)

Commando (1985)- * * * *

Directed by: Mark L. Lester

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vernon G. Wells, Rae Dawn Chong, Alyssa Milano, Bill Duke, David Patrick Kelly, and Dan Hedaya

When the awesomely-named John Matrix (Arnie) retires from a life of globe-trotting Special Ops commando work, all he wants to do is spend time with his beloved daughter Jenny (Milano). Instead of feeding the local deer and eating unknown sandwiches, Matrix’s past comes back to haunt him: the diabolical Arius (Hedaya) uses a team of mercenaries, including Matrix’s former associate, now evil, Bennett (Wells), as well as Sully (Kelly) and Cooke (Duke), among others, to force Matrix to depose a South American dictator so Arius can step in and make himself El Presidente. They’ve kidnapped Jenny and are forcing Matrix to do the job. Rather than submit to their demands, Matrix uses his considerable skills to turn the tables on the baddies and rescue his daughter. Along the way, he teams up with an unlikely partner, an innocent bystander to all the chaos named Cindy (Chong). John Matrix will prove himself to be the ultimate COMMANDO as he executes his ultimate mission: rescue Jenny! Will he do it? Well, you probably already know…

Perhaps the pinnacle of the 80’s action boom, the great and mighty Commando is everything an action movie should be…and more! It’s a completely entertaining, winning, engrossing, fun spectacle that features non-stop over the top action and hilarious one-liners from Schwarzenegger. Heck, this movie practically invented the “action movie one-liner” that we all take for granted today. However, it must be said the Arnie used two of them in The Terminator (1984) as well, but hey, there’s plenty to go around. Director Lester even reportedly counts this as his favorite of his own movies, which isn’t at all surprising. If I directed it, it would be my favorite too. (One supposes Hitman’s Run wouldn’t give Commando much of a run for the top position, but Lester also directed the excellent Showdown In Little Tokyo, so that must be a strong #2 in his eyes).

Commando is a vivid evocation of the 80’s rise of Arnie and the action movie in general. It was a great time in movies when if the filmmakers had to make a plot choice between either something logical, or something manly/muscular/action-oriented happening on screen, logic was chucked to the side because it’s far less important. Mr. Schwarzenegger remains charming as ever here, whether he’s reading Creem magazine and opining about Boy George, or shooting/blowing up/knifing/chopping/slicing/impaling people or getting into car chases or other death-defying stunts. James Horner’s score should also be singled out for mention, as it alternates between synth stabs during the action scenes, and the time-honored 80’s sax elsewhere. It’s really the perfect score and fits the movie well.

Kudos also go to the writers and director Lester for ensuring that this did not turn into an El Presidente Slog, as we call them, which it easily could have. Yet more props go to the excellent (and extensive) stunt performers on the film. As mentioned earlier, Schwarzenegger doesn’t have to carry the whole movie on his back like so many logs or phone booths. A top-notch cast is assembled around him to ensure quality all around. Someone should ask Alyssa Milano today what she thinks about Commando. There’s even a Rambo-style “Trautman” character that doesn’t get much screen time, perhaps because he’s not as important as all the Arnie action.

It should go without saying, but the cinematography is crystal-clear as well and you can see everything perfectly (unlike the movies of today). So when you see Arnie blowing up Jeeps with a rocket launcher, you really see Arnie blowing up Jeeps with a rocket launcher. It’s all a ton of fun, with a rich vein of humor throughout. The whole outing, seen from today’s perspective, harkens back to a time when you really got your money’s worth from your movie theater ticket. As a slam-bang, total-entertainment spectacle, you walk away feeling satisfied. Perhaps even uplifted, as Power Station’s “We Fight For Love” pumps on the soundtrack as the credits roll.

The thing is, if you DON’T like Commando, that might be a sign that you need psychological help. Symptoms of NLC (Not Liking Commando) should be listed in the DSM-V Manual of Mental Disorders. If you ever find yourself not liking this movie at any time, for any reason, please consult a medical professional. Commando rules!

NOTE: When buying the movie, seek out the 2007 American DVD. It’s the director’s cut and contains more violence. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Wild Team (1985)

Wild Team (1985)- * *

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Antonio Sabato, Ivan Rassimov, Franco Fantasia, Julia Kent, Salvatore Borghese, and Werner Pochath 









 On the island of Manioca, an evil, “El Presidente”-style leader named Gomez has kidnapped the son of the rebel leader, Cordura (Fantasia), who is described as a “symbol of freedom” for the Maniocan people, although they seem pretty free as it is if we’re to judge by their carnivale-style antics. A group of men in suits in Miami who work for a mining operation, and are tied up in the whole revolutionary battle financially, decide they could either spend millions of dollars mounting a rescue operation to save the son, or they could do it on a budget by employing The Wild Team! 

So naturally they hire a man named Martin Cuomo (Sabato) - not to be confused with action powerhouse Mario Cuomo - and his group, consisting of Theo (Pochath), Paco (Borghese), Marius (Rassimov), and female explosives and short-shorts expert Sybil Slater (Kent). The Wild Team, or perhaps the Thunder Squad (they should really make up their minds), go to Manioca and shoot/blow up some people/huts in order to save the boy and win the day. But will they be successful?

This is a disappointingly mediocre jungle slog, especially considering the fact that Lenzi directed it and it has some top-name Italian action B-movie stars. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s just kind of blah. Even at less than 90 minutes, it drags. It’s all very by-the-numbers, a typical - even stereotypical - exploding hutter that you’d have to be a diehard fan of Lenzi or any of the personalities involved in order to really want to see. 

But at least they’re open and honest about what this is: at one point, Cuomo, played by Antonio Sabato Sr., says, in reference to Sybil and her explosive abilities, and we quote, “she’s gonna blow up that hut.” That might be the first ever on-camera bit of spoken dialogue directly referencing an exploding hut. So the movie may go down in history for that, but there’s nothing else standout about the film overall.

There’s really no character development per se, so you don’t truly care about the characters or their mission like you should. The sole reason you might care is because of who the actors are and because fans know them and have seen them before - and that’s not good. It’s unfair to put all the weight on the personalities of Sabato, Pochath, Rassimov and the rest, simply because we know them and have seen them previously. 

They should all have been individually built up a bit more. That being said, there is a very silly fight scene where you can’t tell if what you’re hearing is the sound of punches connecting or someone slappin’ some bass on the soundtrack. Truth be told, the best part of the movie is probably the Stelvio Cipriani score, which is really no surprise. And there’s something cool involving a bow and arrow. But that’s pretty much it.

Because it lacks edge, surprises, or anything really impactful, The Wild Team is a miss for Lenzi and the gang. In brief, this team really isn’t that wild; it should have been wilder. Like Jack Wild.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and Cool Target! 

Dog Tags (1985)

Dog Tags (1985)- * *1\2

Directed by: Romano Scavolini

Starring: Clive Woods, Baird Stafford, Robert Haufrecht, and Mike Monty










When an author, in 1984, receives word that a man in Vietnam is willing to finally tell the tale of a series of events that transpired a decade earlier, we are transported back to 1974 and a very dire situation is unfolding in the jungles of ‘Nam. After escaping from a prison camp, a group of soldiers are lost, angry, irritated and disillusioned. Capturing all the angst is a German photographer along for the ride. 

When they do manage to make contact with Captain Newport (Monty), they are told they must recover some documents from a helicopter that has been shot down, which only adds insult to injury. The final straw is the fact that the supposed “documents” are gold bars, which only adds fuel to the fire of division going on amongst the soldiers. While all this is going on, the men have to avoid various other jungle pitfalls such as a leg amputation, murderous locals, unfriendly nature, and much more. Will these embattled enlisted men be encouraged or entreatied to end it all? Find out...

Dog Tags is writer/director Romano Scavolini’s follow-up to his horror classic Nightmare (1981), and those who have seen that can well imagine what he would do with the “namsploitation” genre. Well, here it is. It’s an exploding hutter with a difference. It’s unrelentingly dark, bleak, depressing and self-serious. Sure, that provides a point of difference with all the other jungle jaunts out there, who never come close to this level of straight-ahead dreary desolation. That said, the movie is very well-shot, with quality camerawork and creative lighting and angles, and the editing reinforces the “masterminds behind the scenes” vibe.

This would have been a home run if there was any character development. Imagine high drama but with a bunch of random people you know nothing about. There are many times when the whole outing becomes dull and loses any kind of drive. Imagine if Scavolini directed Platoon (1986) instead of Oliver Stone, but slower. That should give you some idea of what we’re dealing with. 

Sure, there are a few blow-ups here and there, but the emphasis is surely on the grimness of ‘Nam and the human toll. In its single-minded fixation on that, the movie forgot to have one strong, clear baddie, a misstep we see all too often, and is another contributing factor to the movie losing focus.  All this is put in a clearly-delineated three-act structure, with epilogue, complete with title cards to help the audience.

In the cast department, we have fan favorite Mike Monty, a Philippines-shot movie mainstay, as well as fellow Romano, Romano Kristoff, who is also credited as being Second Assistant Director. Or maybe the credit-makers just got confused. 

Nick Nicholson is also credited, but it must be a “blink and you’ll miss him” situation, and we definitely must have blinked, because we didn’t see him at all. There’s also the credit “Chris Hilton as Himself”. Okay. Good to know. Baird Stafford, so memorable from Scavolini’s Nightmare, returns as the soldier who, infamously, gets his leg amputated. If I may quote Scavolini himself, speaking about Stafford, from the book Spaghetti Nightmares: “He was also very effective in DOGTAGS because I managed to get him to accept the idea that he had to be sexually ambiguous. His leg being cut off clearly represents a type of castration, and it is his mutilated sexuality that, in the end, ruins everyone.” So now you know. Consider yourself warned.

Released on the small label Cinevest on VHS in the U.S., it didn't get wide exposure here, but that's more than a lot of other Italian productions got. Dog Tags succeeds stylistically, if not dramatically, and its style and substance seem out of sync with each other. Add to that the distressing, somber vibe, and it can make for a very rocky viewing experience indeed.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Blackfire (1985)

Blackfire (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Romano Kristoff, Jim Gaines and Chantal Mansfield










Sgt. Frank Johnson (Kristoff) isn’t simply Sgt. Frank Johnson, Vietnam War soldier.  Oh no, he’s so much more than that. You see, he had ninja training as a child. In spite of, or, perhaps, because of his proficiency in the deadly arts, Johnson is “marked for termination” by his military higher-ups. While war buddy Jim Anderson (Gaines) and computer technician Nancy (Mansfield) do their best to help Johnson with his plight and troubled ways, Johnson is kidnapped and, of course, tortured by a league of eyepatchioed/non-eyepatchioed baddies. 

Naturally, this makes him mad and after submitting to the torture for a surprising amount of time, his ninja training finally kicks in and he goes on a revenge mission. To sum up, we should probably just quote the great YouTube uploader Atomic Cyborg’s description of the film: “Rambo-Ninja Rom Kristoff Takes Revenge!” That pretty much sums it up, really.

Director Teddy Page and producer K.Y. Lim strike again with Blackfire, a sort of mashing-together of two 80’s action staples, the Ninja Boom and the Rambo knockoff. The results are reasonably successful, but not quite as awesome as the potential is there to fulfill. Romano “Rom” Kristoff (or Ron Kristoff as he’s billed here) is the Stallone/Dudikoff/Sho Kosugi-style hero, to the point where we inevitably called him “Rombo”. One of the characters even makes the obligatory Rambo reference, putting the whole outing into a context the viewer already has.

The movie gets off to a bang - literally - much like Page’s Fireback (1983), Blood Debts (1985) and especially Phantom Soldiers (1987) - you gotta hand it to the guy, he really knows how to start a movie. Men in army fatigues screaming while shooting machine guns, huts exploding, guard tower falls, grenade throws, neck snaps and strategic use of slo-mo, all among the leafy green foliage kick off the movie and we were impressed, no matter how many times we may have seen these things before. But the icing on the machete was Rom’s “super crossbow” - a badass crossbow with some sort of missile as the projectile.

Inevitably, though, things slowed down after this impressive opening. As much as we love 80’s computers with their green one-color text, watching the Nancy character work on one for such a long time dragged the movie down. Then we have the time-honored barfight, and then the (overly-extended) Prerequisite Torture. All the “bullet” points are thus hit. There’s even a WYC (White Yelling Chief), and Rom has a classic black “revenge outfit” that he dons before the aforementioned final mission. It all adds up to some standard namsplotation but with a healthy handful of standout moments. It’s like diluting your Metamucil in water. There should have been less water.

However, there is a lot of comical dubbing, including very funny dubbed grunting and yelling. But these are men of action and not words - or at least, that’s what Sgt. Jim (Gaines, who co-wrote the movie) tries to turn the soldiers into, but as drill sergeant, he has his work cut out for him, with a cadre of pudgy recruits who look like they spend more time cultivating their mustaches than their muscles.

Much like how Sgt. Blackfire Johnson (that’s his code name, by the by), listens to a regional variant on Cyndi Lauper’s “She-bop” when he wants to collect his thoughts and ponder his situation, and then does a triumphant snapping of his fingers when he comes to a realization, the viewer will also have a realization - that this jungle outing could’ve been better. That’s not to say it doesn’t have its moments, especially the beginning, but it’s easy to see why this never had a U.S. VHS or DVD release. Sure, we would have appreciated it, but video labels might have deemed it unnecessary. Thank goodness for YouTube, where, as of the time of this writing, you can view the movie and decide for yourself.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Lady Streetfighter (1985)

Lady Streetfighter (1985)- * * *

Directed by: James Bryan

Starring: Renee Harmon












Linda Allen (Harmon) travels from somewhere in Europe to Los Angeles to get to the bottom of the torture/murder of her sister. She becomes embroiled in a tangled web of evil gangsters, killer pimps, shady FBI agents, and downright strange partygoers. But who can Linda trust? Luckily, her wits and Martial Arts skill (?) should get her to the bottom of things. Will Linda ever casually wear a gold jumpsuit again? Find out today!

Like most people who have ever seen her in anything, I am a confirmed Renee Harmon fan. She’s impossible not to like. Her thick German accent isn’t unintelligible; it says “I’m not going to let this stop me from achieving my dream of being in American movies”. There’s something charming and likable about her, as I’ve witnessed in Frozen Scream (1975) and the must-see Night of Terror (1986). So imagine my delight when I saw her in Lady Street Fighter - AS the lady street fighter in question - punching and kicking the bad guys and getting into a bunch of highly silly shootouts, car chases, love scenes and fights.

Adding to the fun are some hilariously abrupt film and sound edits, some wonderfully wooden line readings, and inexplicable dubbing. On top of that are two main musical themes: one Spaghetti Western-influenced, the other positively Kraftwerkian. And there’s even a “sexy” undercurrent to it all. 

Apparently the film was shot in 1975 and not released on VHS until a full decade later. Interestingly, Frozen Scream is also from ‘75 and that was the first year Harmon appeared on the scene. She really exploded out of the starting gate with these two films. While the Kung Fu movie craze was in full effect then, with plenty of aspiring Bruce Lee’s out there, it may seem somewhat counterintuitive to make the heroine of such a film a 48-year-old German lady. But that’s all part of the fun. Plus, it’s better than Policewomen (1974) or the Ginger series.

Besides, Harmon was a true trailblazer in that respect. Now we fully accept heavily-accented action stars such as Schwarzenegger and Van Damme. But Harmon did it first. And backwards and in high heels, as the saying goes. Her accent, while charming, does seem to get worse as the movie goes along. Is that possible? But she also wears a lot of great outfits and gives it her all. And she really loves celery, as we see in the centerpiece of the film, the party scene. It’s here she meets a girl named Inez, and gives her highly sensitive and medically-accurate diagnosis of her mental state. Interestingly, the spectral character in Night of Terror, one that is very important plotwise to that film, is also named Inez. Could that possibly be a coincidence? 

Not to be confused with being a part of the Sonny Chiba Streetfighter series, Lady Streetfighter is distinct in its own right. And at only 73 minutes, you can’t afford not to watch it. After the end credits, it promises, “watch out for the return of Lady Streetfighter!” Sadly, this never came to pass, as this was director Bryan’s last film. (And third collaboration with Harmon, after Hell Riders and The Executioner, Part II). He also directed Don’t Go in the Woods, for those that don’t know).

So have as much fun as the partygoers in the film that are continually shouting “Toga!” and see Lady Streetfighter soon.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and Bleeding Skull! 

Naked Vengeance (1985)

Naked Vengeance (1985)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Deborah Tranelli, Henry Strzalkowski, Kaz Garas, Steve Roderick, Nick Nicholson, Carmen Argenziano, and Bill McLaughlin








Carla Harris (Tranelli) is a woman who seemingly has it all: a rich and luxurious life as an actress with a successful lawyer for a husband. When her beloved hubby is killed by a common street thug, she travels back to her rural home town of Silver Lake, California, to live with her parents and re-evaluate her life. 

However, far from the serene environment she was hoping for, she has to deal with constant harassment from the local gang of good ol’ boys. Led by local butcher Fletch (Garas) and including gas station attendant Sparky (Nicholson), among others, their rude and lewd behavior eventually escalates into a full-on gang rape. When the disgusting thugs end up murdering her parents, as well as Timmy (Roderick), Carla has an emotional breakdown that leaves her in a near-catatonic state. While being observed for shock and other symptoms at the local hospital, Carla decides to bypass the seemingly ineffectual Sheriff, John Cates (McLaughlin) and dispense her own brand of justice. Violent vigilante justice, the only kind that gets results. But will she eliminate her attackers before it’s too late? Find out today!

While Naked Vengeance has a similar look, structure and feel to other Cirio movies, this ranks as one of his best, thanks to the intense, no-nonsense storyline and pace. It can proudly rank among other female-fronted revenge movies such as Ms. 45 (1981), Savage Streets (1984), Sudden Death (1985), and of course the movie it most closely models itself after, I Spit On Your Grave (1978). 

A lot of Cirio regulars are on show as well, mainly as the lecherous townsfolk - his stock company of actors, as it were, such as Kaz Garas (who resembles Powers Boothe), fan favorite Nick Nicholson, and Henry Strzalkowski, among others.  Cirio was kicked into high gear for this one, and, especially compared to his more standard outings, here he was surely in a state of grace.

Naked Vengeance is the time when the “Cirio Formula”, if there is such a thing as one, finally clicks and everything totally works. His method of repeating the theme song numerous times throughout the movie is employed  here, and thankfully it’s the driving anthem “Still Got A Love”, by Michael Cruz and sung by the main star, Deborah Tranelli. 

The cameraderie of the baddies is interesting: they all bowl together (and have nifty personalized bowling shirts to boot), and they even work out together on the same schedule in a place that can only be described as a “Villain’s Gym”. The day after their atrocity, one of them even says to his buddies, “Eh, I don’t feel like working out today.” There were no other patrons in the gym, either. Maybe you get 10% off your membership if you’re an evil scumbag. One of their beefs against Carla is that she changed her name from Olson to Harris, which in their view is true diva behavior that they cannot abide. Why Harris is a more glamorous name than Olson is not explained. Also of note is a movie marquee which is playing Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984).

Important note: the version released on Vestron is cut. The version released on Lightning is uncut. So for anyone planning on collecting this movie, make sure you get the Lightning version.

We love revenge movies here - hence the name COMEUPPANCE reviews - and Naked Vengeance is a gem.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 
 

Savage Dawn (1985)

Savage Dawn (1985)- * *

Directed by: Simon Nuchtern

Starring: Lance Henriksen, Karen Black, George Kennedy, Claudia Udy, Leo Gordon, William Forsythe, Mickey Jones, and Richard Lynch












Ben Stryker (Henriksen) is a former soldier who rolls in on his motorcycle into the dusty ol’ Western town of Agua Dulce. He’s a man of few words, and lets his short spiky blonde hair do the talking. Or, failing that, he’s pretty handy in a fight. He goes to see his wheelchair-bound buddy Tick (Kennedy), and his son (?) Danny, and reconnects with his old girlfriend Katie (Udy). But breaking up all the fond camaraderie is the notorious Savages biker gang. 

They come to the quiet town and start raising all sorts of hell. Led by Pigiron (Forsythe) and Zero (Jones), their growing presence in the town is pushing the residents to the breaking point. Even the local bar-mistress, Rachel (Black) has taken up with Pigiron, and no one, from the Sheriff (Gordon) to Rev. Romano (Lynch) can do anything about it. That’s when Stryker is pushed to do what he does best: Stryke. Will he drive the Savages out of town forever?

The first thing you’ll notice about Savage Dawn is the amazing cast. Lance Henriksen is very good as the sly Stryker (who’s also a byker) - another in a long line of men named Stryker or Striker that we’ve seen over the years. He makes a nice addition to the Stryker family. And because he co-stars with William Forsythe and the movie is about bikers, this can be considered as a sort of precursor to Stone Cold (1991). But here they’re at odds, in Stone Cold they’re buddies. But this is like a dry run for that, and in our opinion Stone Cold is the better movie. 

Karen Black was in Hostage (1987) with Wings Hauser, who was...Striker. Coincidence? George Kennedy put in a sympathetic performance as Tick, and fan favorite Richard Lynch is on board as the creepy reverend. Claudia Udy of Nightforce (1987) and To the Death (1993) gets into a catfight with Karen Black, and Mickey Jones plays Zero, as opposed to Wash Pot. We think he only plays dudes with nicknames. Lockdown (1990)’s Elizabeth Kaitan has a small role, as does, supposedly, Sam Kinison (?) and with all this star-power, you can’t go wrong...right?

As we’ve mentioned too many times before, we invented the phrase “Lone Tiger Syndrome” to describe the incidences when you get suckered into watching a movie because there are a lot of names you like or recognize in the cast, but then the movie itself is not that great, and you realize that having a lot of talented actors on board doesn’t mean the writing and directing is good. Too often the scales are tipped too far in one direction. We believe that is the case with Savage Dawn - a movie with a lot of filler that doesn’t live up to its potential. Which is a real shame, because it was SO CLOSE to being a winner: Henriksen is cool as the renegade “good biker” with all the great lines, George Kennedy has a rocket launcher, and there’s even some surprise Punchfighting, but here are the problems...

The movie is too long and too slowly paced, which might be more tolerable if it didn’t primarily take place in one location. It seems the majority of the film takes place in basically a backyard. The choppy editing doesn’t really help matters, and, to add insult to injury, Claudia Udy has a very unflattering hairstyle. 

All this movie would have needed is a snappier running time, and more Stryker mowing down baddies. Then we’d really have something. But the movie is bloated and sabotages itself at almost every turn. But at one point there is a fruit-cart fistfight, as opposed to a fruit cart car chase, so that’s something different. And stunt genius John Stewart of Action USA fame is here as “Blood” and behind the scenes as stunt coordinator. Plus the score is by Pino Donaggio, but somehow all these elements never work together to make a forceful statement.

As for the Image DVD, it’s an obvious “needle-drop” job (for those that don’t know, at least in the world of CD’s, fans use that term to mean when companies don’t go back to the master tapes, don’t remaster anything, or do anything technical to improve matters, they literally just “drop the needle” on the original vinyl and then release that as a “finished” product - too often that is done in the world of DVD as well) - it’s basically a rip of the VHS, complete with tracking lines. Luckily, we don’t care, we’re die-hard VHS watchers, but others out there might take issue with that. It’s also highly unusual for a company like Image to release something like that. What happened?

In the end, despite some worthwhile moments, Savage Dawn is a disappointing missed opportunity.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Year Of The Dragon (1985)

Year Of The Dragon (1985)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Michael Cimino

Starring: Mickey Rourke, Ariane, John Lone, Caroline Kava, and Raymond J. Berry












Stanley White (Rourke) is a Cop On The Edge (and Vietnam vet) in New York City. Assigned to Chinatown, he discovers the area is rife with gangs demanding protection money from shopkeepers, illegal gambling, and other activities that are against the law - U.S. law. When White confronts the leaders of the community, he is informed that their traditions are thousands of years old, and he can’t just waltz in and change things.

But then the violence spins out of control and the murder rate rises. The headstrong Stanley just won’t tolerate their growing domination. Meanwhile, Stanley finds himself growing apart not just from his colleagues on the police force, but from his wife Connie (Kava). He develops a relationship with Asian TV reporter Tracy Tzu (Ariane), and when she gets caught in the middle between Stanley and his growing sense of vengeance to crime leader Joey Tai (Lone), fireworks - literally - occur. Will Stanley clean up the streets of Chinatown? Find out today!

Michael Cimino is one of the only currently-living masters of American cinema, and with a screenplay co-written by him and Oliver Stone, in a movie produced by Dino De Laurentiis, you know you’re going to get a high-quality production. It’s an expertly-shot and acted film as well, and with some of the themes it deals with, it was ahead of its time in 1985. 

It’s filled with intense moments, and its length and pace bespeak its status as an epic crime drama, which would make sense as the novel it’s based from was written by Robert Daley of Prince of the City (1981) fame. So we applaud that it did not cave in to the trend of “MTV editing”, and it comes out smelling like a rose in the 21st century.

Mickey Rourke was the ideal choice to play Stanley. This was at the height of his initial fame in the 80’s, and he’s looking young and trim. Stanley, despite appearing, on the surface, like a brash, insensitive, politically-incorrect brute, actually has a highly sensitive soul and a powerful and overriding sense of morality. But he’s caught up in a corrupt world so he deals with it the best he can. Rourke, one of the most talented actors currently working today, can expertly play that subtlety and complexity. Plus not only does he have cool hair, he has a cool hat, and when he’s not wearing his cool hat, the coolness of his hair can shine, and his hair seems to get cooler as the movie goes along.

On top of the cultural knowledge and references in the movie, not just of Asian culture but biblical as well (could Stanley’s shot in the middle of his hand with its blood be a reference to the stigmata of Jesus?) , it’s important to recognize that this was the 80’s, after all, and we get the disco scene we all love, and arcade games Pac-Man, Galaga and Defender can be seen. This movie truly has it all.

So for a serious-minded, extremely professional cop/crime drama that has all the hallmarks that we know and love, plus a lot more, it’s hard to beat Year of the Dragon.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett