24 Hours To Midnight (1985)

 

24 Hours To Midnight (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Leo Fong

Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Stack Pierce, Juan Chapa, Leo Fong, De'Ann Power, Myra, and Brinke Stevens

Harry Grady (Chapa) was a former mobster who changed his ways and is now about to testify against infamous crime lord White Powder Chan (Pierce). Before Chan has him whacked, Grady helpfully made a tape describing who Chan's gang consists of and where they can be found. He also includes a picture - a posed group shot of the gang (don't all criminal organizations do this?) and he leaves it for his wife Devon (Rothrock) (Power) (Stevens). Don't worry, we'll explain all those parenthetical names in a minute.



So, like any grieving widow would, Devon dons a black ninja outfit, breaks out a variety of different weaponry, and systematically begins killing off the entire gang. Meanwhile, there have been a rash of unrelated drive-bys going on in the streets. Detectives LeAnn Jackson (Myra) and Lester McQueen (Pock) are trying to clean up the crime, but they are then assigned to the White Powder Chan case. Naturally, it all comes to a head when Chan is last on the list and Devon is out for blood. It must be midnight, because it's now...24 HOURS TO MIDNIGHT.



Ya gotta love Leo Fong. Only he could come up with a jumble like this and make it as entertaining as it is. At film schools across the country (and world) they should show 24 Hours to Midnight to students who want to become editors. There's actually a very interesting user comment on imdb.com by the guy who assembled all the footage together into what we see today.




When you watch the film, you may notice that they had about three minutes of actual Cynthia Rothrock footage, and they just looped what they had over and over again. Meanwhile, they got De'Ann Power to do all the scenes in the ninja suit. On top of that, they got Brinke Stevens to be the voice of Rothrock both in and out of the suit. So it took - count 'em - THREE actresses to play the role of Devon Grady. I think most people will be able to understand the entertainment value of that alone.




As they say in the world of infomercials, but wait! There's more! The great Stack Pierce plays White Powder Chan. As you may know, Pierce is Black/African American. Why is his last name Chan? Hell, why is his first name White Powder? (well, we know it's because of drugs, but no other name is ever given). There are also a handful of funny shootouts, one of which is amongst the repeated footage. We get to see Rothrock crying in a car several times throughout the film, and at one point she goes to Juarez, Mexico to meet with Master Tanaka (which we see more than once).




Then the characters of Jackson and McQueen show up. McQueen is your classic 80's coolguy, and Jackson likes to work out in the weight room while wearing suspenders. Her voice is simultaneously flat and very soothing. This mysterious woman is credited solely as "Myra" and never appeared in anything else. What ever happened to Myra? Anyway, McQueen and Jackson have a classic WYC (White Yelling Chief) that they must answer to.




But even White Powder Chan must answer to someone as well, and in his case it's Mr. Big (Fong). Yes, Leo appears last-minute in an uncredited role as the boss of bosses.




The whole thing is a labor of love: handmade and stitched together like an old quilt. Watching it as viewers in 2020, we found it to be very enjoyable but you have to know what you're getting into. It won't be for everybody. But you can honestly say they don't make 'em like this anymore. We're not even sure they made 'em like this back then, usually.




24 Hours to Midnight is definitely an oddity, and quite rare these days to find. The U.S. VHS states "Look out Seagal! Watch out Van Damme! Here Comes..." over a huge name of Cynthia Rothrock. While her name is completely deserving to be amongst those others, perhaps 24 Hours to Midnight isn't the very best exemplar of her skills? Nevertheless, it shows that the action boom was in full force back then and even a movie like this, with all its quasi-unfinished issues, could get a nationwide VHS release.


In the end, 24 Hours to Midnight is quite unique, and while its appeal to the masses may be limited, fans of underground/weird movies and under-the-radar action will surely appreciate it.



Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Fight To Win (1987)

Fight To Win (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Leo Fong

Starring: George Chung, Hidy Ochiai, Bill "Superfoot" Wallace, Chuck Jeffreys, Juan Chapa, Richard Norton, Cynthia Rothrock, and Ronnie Lott

Ryan Kim (Chung) is an enthusiastic young Martial Artist that loves nothing more than training with his Sensei (Ochiai). One day after a tournament, the mysterious Armstrong (Norton) approaches them and offers Ryan the opportunity to fight Tankson (Superfoot). The reason for this is that Sensei has three ancient statues and the wealthy Armstrong wants them for his collection. When Tankson defeats Ryan, Sensei offers a “double or nothing” rematch, which the overconfident Armstrong can’t refuse. 

When Sensei is hospitalized after a heart attack, a new trainer is brought in – a woman named Lauren (Rothrock). At first, the immature and perhaps sexist Ryan doesn’t want to be trained by her. But after experiencing her brilliant skill, not only does he fall in line, he also falls in love. The stage is set for the ultimate showdown…and there’s even a raid on Armstrong’s compound that features Ryan’s buddies Michael (Jeffreys), Jerry (Chapa), and Randy (“All-pro football star Ronnie Lott”). It’s time for Ryan and the gang to FIGHT TO WIN!

From George Chung (not to be confused with one of the producers here, the prolific George Cheung), the mastermind behind Hawkeye (1988) and Kindergarten “Ninja” (1994), and director/fan favorite Leo Fong, comes Fight to Win, another wacky, screwball blend of Martial Arts, comedy, and an indefinable element that can only be found in the magical productions of the 80’s. If you’ve seen either of the aforementioned Chung outings, here you get more of the same (thankfully) – a low budget, but plenty of energy and upbeat attitude, silly dialogue and situations, and highly-skilled Martial Arts. The dialogue isn’t recorded very well so undoubtedly some of Chuck Jeffreys’s bon mots are missing in the mix, but the sense of fun is infectious, and the whole movie is imbued with a – dare we say – feeling of childlike wonder and whimsy.

It’s really impossible to dislike Fight to Win, and we feel sorry for anyone that does, as they probably have no heart or soul. The cast is killer: We have the aforementioned auteur George Chung, who gives his all here, Chuck Jeffreys, the Eddie Murphy of low-budget DTV Martial Arts movies, doing his usual stellar job, Troy Donahue in a blink-or-you’ll-miss-him cameo, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace as Armstrong’s tough-guy fighter, David Heavener lookalike Juan Chapa, Martial Arts legends Hidy Ochiai and Master Hee Il Cho, All-pro football star Ronnie Lott, and of course the teaming of Comeuppance hall of fame all-stars Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton, who do interact and have some fight scenes together. With Leo Fong as director, this cocktail can’t possibly fail, and it doesn’t. Rothrock is as charming as ever and Norton plays the baddie with aplomb. It’s a joy to watch everyone’s Martial Arts skill on display.

While there’s plenty of extensive training which the presence of Rothrock as the trainer helps to make more enjoyable, and some casually-racist Middle-Aged Punks (classic MAP’s), truly the showstopper is when the movie essentially stops so George Chung can have a one-man music video where he combines Martial Arts with razzle-dazzle dance moves. 

With this heady combination of Bruce Lee, Tae-Bo, Footloose, Flashdance, and Zumba, Chung – and thus the movie as a whole – truly shines. This dance element (which was foreshadowed earlier on during one of the tournament scenes) sets the movie apart and makes it stand out even more – and it was already a fairly odd duck to begin with. And we mean that in the best possible way, of course. Fight to Win is a delight from start to finish. Criminally, it never received a U.S. VHS release (and as of this writing has yet to receive a U.S. DVD or Blu-Ray release). The fact that just about everyone in America did NOT see this back in the day is painful to contemplate. Interestingly, it was released on video in Greece under the title “China O’Brian [sic] 3”, even though it came out three years before the other two sequels! At least they got to see it, however.

Well, there you have it. George Chung turns in another winner. They truly don’t make movies like this anymore, and in the self-serious modern era, Fight to Win just stands out that much more.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Kindergarten "Ninja" (1994)

 Kindergarten "Ninja" (1994)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Anthony Chan

Starring: Dwight Clark, Juan Chapa, Vinny Cerrato and George Chung





  “Later, dude.”




 Blade Steel (Clark) is a man who lives up to his awesome name. A football star for the San Francisco “Gold Rush”, he spends his time being an unrepentant womanizer and alcoholic. But he’s living large, so no one seems to mind. That is, until he gets arrested on a DWI beef. Naturally, we then cut to heaven...yes, the heaven, where Charlie Chaplin and Elvis are just hanging around doing what they do. Apparently, in order for a Martial Artist named Bruce (surely not meant to make you think of anyone famous) to become an official angel, he must help a person in need. And that person is...you guessed it, a starving child in Africa. NO, of course it’s Blade Steel. 

Meanwhile, Steel becomes a substitute teacher of sorts as part of his community service for his DWI. Because the tots are obsessed with the then-current game Street Fighter II, he decides to teach them all Martial Arts. But first he needs to learn it himself, so he takes classes with a blind master, named Master Chosen One (Chung). As if that wasn’t enough, evil, Tony Montana-like drug-dealing bigshot Hector Machete (Chapa) is using the community center where Steel and the children are to run his drug operations. 

The new drug on the street is Buzz, imported from China, and Machete isn’t happy that the Master, and Blade, are cleaning up the town of San Leandro, CA. So he sends his army of henchmen, which are mostly children, to settle the situation, and local Detective Antonelli (Cerrato) is trying to make sense of it all. What will happen to the...KINDERGARTEN “NINJA”?

All we can say is...wow. Like all the best films in cinema history, Kindergarten “Ninja” is a co-production between D.A.R.E. and America’s Best Karate. The gold that this unlikely duo produced is exactly what you might expect. The results speak for themselves. The first thing you may notice about this movie is the title, and the fact that the word ninja is in quotes. Try to think of another movie title where one of the words is in quotes. This should give you some indication of the insane originality (or original insanity) of this oddball outing. 

Somewhere in the netherworld between a classroom educational film, a home movie, and a professional production lies Kindergarten “Ninja”. Thankfully there are plenty of intentional and unintentional laughs along the way, and the sheer amazement you will feel that not only was this made, but distributed around the world, will sustain you through its (barely) 80 minute running time.

It’s hard to describe in words what the tone and overall feeling of this movie is, but let’s just say “nonsensical” is an understatement. Thankfully, Dwight Clark is on board. The man is truly a powerhouse. He can sing, dance, do Martial Arts, play football, and, most notably, act. Scenes are shot at his own restaurant, Clark’s By The Bay. (The main scene there is truly a show-stopper). Not to be outdone, the great George Chung plays Master Chosen One. 

We absolutely loved his Hawkeye (1988), and Kindergarten “Ninja” just reinforces our fandom. Chapa as Machete is also worth noting, but all the non-actors here steal the show. Especially the kids. Where are they today? And the man who introduces the movie, San Leandro Police Chief Robert Maginnis, what does he think today of the movie? Has he ever seen it?

The vast majority of the film’s running time is taken up with endless training sequences. Though the musical stylings of one Joel McKellar are inspired by Over the Top (1987), the amount of time spent on watching Dwight Clark do ab crunches with George Chung is, well...over the top. But if you want to be a master playboy like Blade Steel, just learn from his classic pickup lines. His ace in the hole seems to be “Do you like French fries?” so feel free to try that one. 

Despite the film’s unusual nature, it still ends with the time-honored warehouse fight (though we’ve never seen one quite like this), and, to give you a sense of the level of intelligence at work, the mayor of the town is named, and we quote, Mayor Crookalini.

We guarantee you’ve never seen a movie like Kindergarten “Ninja” before. The only question is, do you want to? It can be found dirt cheap most places it is sold. If you have a sense of humor and a taste for the odd, we give it a solid recommendation.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett