Outside The Law (2002)

 

Outside The Law (2002)- * *

Directed by: Jorge Montesi

Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Jeff Wincott, James Lew, Stephen Macht, and Dan Lauria 

Julie Cosgrove (Rothrock) is a U.S. Government Secret Agent - so secret, in fact, that no one knows her exact job title with the feds. When an op in Cartagena, Colombia, goes horribly wrong, Julie decides to quit the force (if she were a police officer, presumably she'd have handed in her badge and gun). She then decides to pursue a quiet life somewhere in central Florida. As part of her plan, she changes her hair so she looks exactly like Reba McEntire. But, as tends to be the case with Reba, er, Julie Cosgrove, trouble finds her wherever she goes.



Her old boss who sent her on her fateful Colombian misadventure, Dick Dawson (Macht), is after her, so he sends federal goons after her. Then the local law enforcement, Detective Froman (Lauria), is after her. Not to be outdone, local head honcho/kingpin-type baddie Michael Peyton (Wincott) is also after her, and he has his own, mafia-connected goons such as a baddie named Ramon and another one named Cho Sung (Lew). With seemingly everyone gunning for Julie, what will she do? She may have to go OUTSIDE THE LAW.



There's nothing terribly wrong with Outside The Law, per se, but it is a bit on the duller side of things. Even Rothrock herself says it isn't one of her best. It's no surprise director Montesi went on to do mostly TV show episodes and telefilms. OTL has that flat, "Why Try Harder?" look to it that doesn't evince a ton of creativity behind the camera. Also, it seems that the film is building up to a big fight between Jeff Wincott and Cynthia Rothrock, which never happens. That was a disappointment. James Lew is not used anywhere near his full potential, and Jeff Moldovan plays only "Bearded Thug". The gathered cast is an impressive one, but overall we as the viewer are constantly reminded that we're in the 2002 DTV doldrums.


Besides Rothrock, who is always watchable no matter what, only Dan Lauria - somewhat of a hometown hero for us - stands out as Detective Froman. He wears Hawaiian-type shirts and speaks in a Huey Long "Kingfish"-style Southern drawl. It was a treat to see him do a role like this and we really enjoyed that. Stephen Macht was bland as Dick Dawson - Eric Roberts would have been perfect for that part, and he may have livened it up a bit more. Overall, there are some shootouts and beat-em-up scenes that keep things moving, but it's not exactly thrill-a-minute stuff here.


There's a Zack Morris-style pretty-boy character for Julie Cosgrove to fall in love with, which sets him apart from the constant cadres of creeps that are constantly harassing Julie in this small town. Everywhere she goes, she has to employ her Martial Arts on them, it seems. Bad for her, lucky for us, the viewer. Talk radio was a big thing back then and there are some scenes with talk radio on in the background, which puts us in a very definable time and place. Julie Cosgrove ends up adopting a dog she simply calls "Dog" because she's too much of a badass to come up with a frou-frou name like Fluffy or Twinkles.


While the film was set mostly in "Central Florida", it was shot in Puerto Rico. The director, Montesi, is Chilean, so maybe it was easy for him to communicate in Spanish-speaking countries. Maybe it wasn't so easy for everybody else. Montesi's most notable film to date is Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001), which is a highly entertaining romp, moreso than this one.


So, if you've ever wanted to see a Reba McEntire action film, Outside The Law is probably as close as you're ever going to get.

Comeuppance Review by Brett and Ty

Also check out a write up from our buddy DTVC!

New York Ninja (2021)

 

New York Ninja (2021)- * * *1\2

Directed by: John Liu and Kurtis Spieler 

Starring: John Liu and the voice cast of Don 'The Dragon Wilson', Cynthia Rothrock, Michael Berryman, Leon Isaac Kennedy, Vince Murdocco, Linnea Quigley, and Ginger Lynn Allen

                

                                                    ****1400th Review!!******                                        


John Liu (Liu; voiced by Don the Dragon) is a humble soundman working for a New York City news network. His wife Nita (voiced by Ginger Lynn Allen) tells him she's pregnant and Liu is elated. The problem: New York is overrun by punks, thugs, and goons of all stripes, and they're running rampant. After Nita is attacked, a despondent and frustrated Liu first tries all the typical red tape-infested channels, such as going to Det. Jimmy Williams (voiced by Leon Isaac Kennedy). 

Getting nowhere, Liu does the only natural thing: he dons his ninja outfit and hits the streets, dispensing justice as the NEW YORK NINJA! But he'll face his ultimate nemesis in The Plutonium Killer (voiced by Michael Berryman), a light-sensitive, burn-happy baddie. His underling Rattail is no slouch either. These are tough challenges, but the New York Ninja begins gaining a legion of fans and supporters. Will he bring safety and justice back to New York? You have to find out!




The story behind New York Ninja is almost as amazing as the movie itself. In fact, its resurrection is downright miraculous. For those that may not know, what happened was this: the film was shot in 1984, but ended up not being completed due to production problems. The film reels languished in a vault until they were discovered in the archives of Vinegar Syndrome. All the visuals were intact, but no sound elements were able to be tracked down. 

So, the team at VS, headed by a very clever and intrepid guy named Kurtis Spieler, edited the film back to health, and re-created anything auditory. Spieler had no script to work with, so he re-wrote any dialogue he couldn't figure out by reading the lips of the silent original film. He then cast an excellent bunch of our favorite actors to do the voice parts, and got a killer, synthy score by a band called Voyag3r to do the music. The result is tremendous. A lot of work went into this project, and Spieler along with Vinegar Syndrome should win some sort of film preservation or editing award for what is, in our opinion, an important and even monumental project.

Importantly, as Spieler writes in his liner notes, he didn't want to make fun of the movie in a What's Up Tiger Lily (1966) style While he realized that New York Ninja is a film in the vein of a Miami Connection (1987) (which it played theatrically on a double bill with) or a Samurai Cop (1991), he - very wisely - took the project seriously and didn't try to be "above" the movie. While there is plenty of humor, he treated it as if he was editing (and, presently, re-directing) the film in the 80's. That decision made all the difference in the end.




As the first-ever Vinegar Syndrome Pictures release, they went all-out with not just the aforementioned screenings, but they released it in a deluxe hard box with a magnetic door, and a black ribbon, not to mention the book. They must be proud of this release, and they should be. Even if it was nothing more than a document of New York City in 1984 - which it wonderfully is - the film would be more than worth your time. There's even a clear shot of a movie marquee, likely on 42nd Street, for Ninja 3: The Domination (1984). On top of this priceless and now preserved footage, the movie itself has a Tenement (1985) meets Death Promise (1977) meets The Instructor (1981) vibe - but it's even funnier and weirder than those three gems.




Let's talk about the (new) cast: While, at first, it may seem odd to hear the unmistakable voice of Don The Dragon coming out of John Liu, the audience quickly warms to it, and the film as a whole. It's all so lovable and quirky, you just have to love it. Besides, as Spieler noted, to have dialogue not exactly match the mouths of the actors onscreen is nothing new for Martial Arts film fans. 

It even adds a bit of charm, although the film is pretty darn charming on its own. Spieler and VS's intention was to re-cast the movie with Vinegar Syndrome-related actors - i.e., genre favorites that fans like us would love - and who they got is genuinely cool. Michael Berryman is great as The Plutonium Killer, Leon Isaac Kennedy is wonderfully welcome as Detective Jimmy Williams, and Ginger Lynn Allen and our beloved Cynthia Rothrock have small but important roles. Matt Mitler and Vince Murdocco are here too, and Linnea Quigley as Randi Rydell is the icing on the cake.




New York Ninja is off-kilter and has a screw loose, which sets it apart from the pack, and is so colorful (just look at what all the goons are wearing), it's impossible not to love. But then Vinegar Syndrome comes along and breathes new life into the film, which was just magical. This project really shows the increasing strength, confidence, ingenuity, and creativity of Vinegar Syndrome. They were the perfect company to shepherd this lost sheep of a movie and add it to the rest of their flock. What they did here was truly special, and it gets our highest recommendation!




Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

American Tigers (1996)

 

American Tigers (1996)- * *

Directed by: David Worth 

Starring: Sam Jones, Don Gibb, Todd Curtis, Joe Estevez, and Cynthia Rothrock

Terrorist Riley Hooker (Curtis) gets the idea to gather all the other terrorist groups from around the world and assemble them on his boat in a Los Angeles harbor. When the military, especially General Clay (Estevez) gets wind of his plan, he gets Sgt. Major Ransom (Jones) to enact an equally crafty response. They gather together a ragtag bunch of death row convicts and train them for three weeks to become a fighting force against the baddies. If they die, well, they were going to die anyway. 

If they survive, they can go free. While most of the prisoners are quite obnoxious, thankfully Ransom's buddy Dan Storm (Gibb), a biker and non-prisoner, wants to help as well. Will our heroes defeat the evil lying in wait for them? They do have a special guest star waiting to train them in Martial Arts, so their odds of becoming AMERICAN TIGERS are looking better by the day.


Well, we had to watch American Tigers. We couldn't pass up the opportunity to see something with fan favorites Sam Jones, Cynthia Rothrock, Donald Gibb, and Joe Estevez all together. It also features Paul Logan and Matt McColm in small, uncredited roles. So how could it go so terribly wrong? Stultifyingly stupid dialogue, dull, lifeless, amazingly repetitive training sequences, and just an air of generalized dumbness that is impossible to deny. The endless meatheaded monotony of it all tends to grate on the viewers' nerves.


Now, there are a couple of bright spots that act in sharp contrast to the morass of stupidity that surrounds American Tigers like a cloud. First off is the brief but incredibly welcome presence of Rothrock. Inexplicably, she plays herself as a Martial Arts instructor for the prisoners. Why it had to be her, and not a character, remains unknown. It's very bizarre to have Sam Jones say to his charges things like, "Say hello to Cynthia Rothrock!" in a non-documentary context. It was just very strange. Despite her front-and-center positioning on the box art, it's really a glorified cameo. Still, why Rothrock individually beating up each prisoner in the ring is part of their training is pretty strange too.


Donald Gibb almost saves the movie, because his character is personable and likable. None of the other characters are. American Tigers, if it needed one thing - and it needed a lot of things - it would have been more Gibb. If the filmmakers were really smart, they would have made Gibb and Rothrock partners that were fighting the terrorists, and they dispatch wave after wave of goons, and forget everything else. But no, director David Worth thought it extra-necessary to have a long, drawn out tournament between a group of Navy SEALS and the ragtag misfits. Incidentally, the group is named "Tiger 525 Tiger Team", a name that's as repetitive as the movie itself.


The main terrorist has some entertaining dialogue, and the opening sequence is like a junkier, lower-budget version of Megadeth's Symphony of Destruction video. Then there's a silly chase, and we're off and running into the "no intelligence allowed" zone. If you watch American Tigers, you may have to hold on tight to your brain cells, as depletion is a serious concern here.


Should we be surprised that the director of all this is the aforementioned Worth, director of Kickboxer (1989), a movie with a lot of training sequences? The man must really think audiences want to watch men train and train for things.


The release history for American Tigers is spotty, perhaps unsurprisingly, but it did receive VHS and DVD releases in Germany, and was put out here by York Entertainment. That release is now rare. Whatever you do, don't confuse this with American Tiger (1989) AKA American Rickshaw. That's a great movie that's well worth watching. American Tigers, sadly, is not.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

24 Hours To Midnight (1985)

 

24 Hours To Midnight (1985)- * * *

Directed by: Leo Fong

Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Stack Pierce, Juan Chapa, Leo Fong, De'Ann Power, Myra, and Brinke Stevens

Harry Grady (Chapa) was a former mobster who changed his ways and is now about to testify against infamous crime lord White Powder Chan (Pierce). Before Chan has him whacked, Grady helpfully made a tape describing who Chan's gang consists of and where they can be found. He also includes a picture - a posed group shot of the gang (don't all criminal organizations do this?) and he leaves it for his wife Devon (Rothrock) (Power) (Stevens). Don't worry, we'll explain all those parenthetical names in a minute.



So, like any grieving widow would, Devon dons a black ninja outfit, breaks out a variety of different weaponry, and systematically begins killing off the entire gang. Meanwhile, there have been a rash of unrelated drive-bys going on in the streets. Detectives LeAnn Jackson (Myra) and Lester McQueen (Pock) are trying to clean up the crime, but they are then assigned to the White Powder Chan case. Naturally, it all comes to a head when Chan is last on the list and Devon is out for blood. It must be midnight, because it's now...24 HOURS TO MIDNIGHT.



Ya gotta love Leo Fong. Only he could come up with a jumble like this and make it as entertaining as it is. At film schools across the country (and world) they should show 24 Hours to Midnight to students who want to become editors. There's actually a very interesting user comment on imdb.com by the guy who assembled all the footage together into what we see today.




When you watch the film, you may notice that they had about three minutes of actual Cynthia Rothrock footage, and they just looped what they had over and over again. Meanwhile, they got De'Ann Power to do all the scenes in the ninja suit. On top of that, they got Brinke Stevens to be the voice of Rothrock both in and out of the suit. So it took - count 'em - THREE actresses to play the role of Devon Grady. I think most people will be able to understand the entertainment value of that alone.




As they say in the world of infomercials, but wait! There's more! The great Stack Pierce plays White Powder Chan. As you may know, Pierce is Black/African American. Why is his last name Chan? Hell, why is his first name White Powder? (well, we know it's because of drugs, but no other name is ever given). There are also a handful of funny shootouts, one of which is amongst the repeated footage. We get to see Rothrock crying in a car several times throughout the film, and at one point she goes to Juarez, Mexico to meet with Master Tanaka (which we see more than once).




Then the characters of Jackson and McQueen show up. McQueen is your classic 80's coolguy, and Jackson likes to work out in the weight room while wearing suspenders. Her voice is simultaneously flat and very soothing. This mysterious woman is credited solely as "Myra" and never appeared in anything else. What ever happened to Myra? Anyway, McQueen and Jackson have a classic WYC (White Yelling Chief) that they must answer to.




But even White Powder Chan must answer to someone as well, and in his case it's Mr. Big (Fong). Yes, Leo appears last-minute in an uncredited role as the boss of bosses.




The whole thing is a labor of love: handmade and stitched together like an old quilt. Watching it as viewers in 2020, we found it to be very enjoyable but you have to know what you're getting into. It won't be for everybody. But you can honestly say they don't make 'em like this anymore. We're not even sure they made 'em like this back then, usually.




24 Hours to Midnight is definitely an oddity, and quite rare these days to find. The U.S. VHS states "Look out Seagal! Watch out Van Damme! Here Comes..." over a huge name of Cynthia Rothrock. While her name is completely deserving to be amongst those others, perhaps 24 Hours to Midnight isn't the very best exemplar of her skills? Nevertheless, it shows that the action boom was in full force back then and even a movie like this, with all its quasi-unfinished issues, could get a nationwide VHS release.


In the end, 24 Hours to Midnight is quite unique, and while its appeal to the masses may be limited, fans of underground/weird movies and under-the-radar action will surely appreciate it.



Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Death Fighter (2017)

 Death Fighter (2017)- * * *

Directed by: Toby Russell 

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Matt Mullins, Joe Lewis, Chiranan Manochaem, Gigi Velicitat, and Cynthia Rothrock

Michael Turner (Mullins) is an American FBI agent on assignment in Thailand. Along with his partner Conrad (Lewis), the two men interrupt a gold deal in a warehouse and, you guessed it, it goes wrong. All hell breaks loose and, sadly, Conrad doesn't make it out alive. It transpires that the maniacal mastermind in the region is a man named Draco (Velicitat). He has his hands in all sorts of dirty dealings, and a woman named Valerie (Rothrock) is one of his underlings. 

 After seeking the traditional approval of the Thai authorities and not receiving it, Turner finds a mysterious man named Bobby Pau (The Dragon), who is described as a "former Special Ops soldier and part-time alcoholic". The two of them, along with a woman named Yui (Chiranan Manochaem) go after the Draco gang with all the fighting skills they have. But will it be enough? Who, as it turns out, will be the DEATH FIGHTER?



Death Fighter is an enjoyable throwback to the 80's style of Martial Arts action film. It was refreshing to see that the filmmakers were actually trying in this age of apathy and mediocrity. A big indicator that the movie's heart was in the right place was the casting of Don The Dragon and Cynthia Rothrock, two fan favorites that are near and dear to every action fan's heart. They even fight each other during the big climactic battle, which is a showdown we as fans have waited 20-plus years to see. Frankly, it could have been a bit longer and with no cutaways to the Matt Mullins fight going on at the same time, but it was entertaining, and we're glad it happened in the first place. 

Rothrock gets a great introduction in the film, cracking a whip like one of the baddie-esses in the first two Double Dragon games for Nintendo. It's not often she plays a villain, so it was refreshing for the audience to see that, and it was probably novel for her too, so that was a smart choice all around. Both Rothrock and Don the Dragon appeared in the jungle together just the year before with Showdown in Manila (2016). Evidently someone thought that formula worked well, so they put the two back in the jungle this time around as well.

 

Just to clarify, Death Fighter is not an exploding hutter. It's a Martial-Arts based actioner that happens to take place in large part in the Thai jungle. There are huts, but they remain for the most part structurally intact.

The extended jungle fight scene was a movie highlight. Great Martial Arts, high energy, and just a pleasure to watch. Of course, the time-honored barfight and the climactic battle are worth noting, but that big, long fight about midway through the film is the showstopper. 

Either Don, Cynthia, or someone else should have played the lead, because Matt Mullins, though he can clearly do Martial Arts, is a bit like the Freddie Prinze, Jr. of action. It leads back to the time-honored question of which is better: get a Martial Artist who can act, or train an actor to do Martial Arts? Mullins has the moves, but his acting is CW channel-level at best. When he's not doing the physical action, he comes off as a bit of a wimp. It's an improvement over Bloodfist 2050 (2005), but just about anything would be. His abilities are firmly on the action side of things.



There are a range of charming accents throughout the film, and fairly ridiculous dialogue, such as when the evil smuggler Draco is described as a warlord and a diabolical murderer...as opposed to a nice, friendly warlord. Additionally, we hope to see more from Manochaem, who, as of this writing, has done only this film. If nothing else, Death Fighter more than proves that Don and Cynthia have still "got it" after all these years, but that newer action stars like Mullins or Manochaem (well, she could be an action star if she wanted to be) are in the mix as well, right next to them. It's two generations fighting alongside each other. That was cool to see.



While it's more or less plotless (the entire plot for the 88 minute running time is "we've got to get Draco!") - at least that allows for extended fight scenes, which are executed well. While it won't change your life, Death Fighter is a fun and knowing nod back to the golden age of video store action.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, DTVC!

Showdown In Manila (2016)

Showdown In Manila (2016)- * * *

Directed by: Mark Dascascos

Starring: Alexander Nevsky, Casper Van Dien, Mark Dacascos, Matthias Hues, Tia Carrere, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Polina Butorina, Olivier Gruner, Don "The Dragon" Wilson, and Cynthia Rothrock








Nick Peyton (Nevsky) and Charlie Benz (Van Dien) are buddies and private detectives, but they seem more like mercenaries. After her beloved husband, Matthew Wells (Dacascos), is slaughtered by some baddies, including Dorn (Hues), a certain Mrs. Wells (Carrere) pays a visit to Nick and Charlie. She wants both answers and revenge, so she goes with the best. It turns out the super-evil Aldric Cole (Tagawa) is behind all the chaos. One of the smarter moves made by Peyton and Benz includes calling in some most excellent reinforcements: Haines (Rothrock), Dillon (The Dragon), and Ford (Gruner). What will happen after the SHOWDOWN IN MANILA?



Showdown In Manila was a pleasant surprise. As it is the long-awaited directorial debut of Mark Dacascos, we knew he wouldn’t let us down, and he didn’t. The man knows too much about what works and what doesn’t work in the world of action movies to really produce a dud. As it was produced, in part, by Dacascos, Nevsky, and Andrzej Bartkowiak, and features a lot of the same cast members, this could have been another Maximum Impact (2017). Thankfully, it isn’t. It’s a lot better. It’s snappier, shorter, and the humor works a lot more. It mercifully doesn’t include Tom Arnold making references to his bladder.



Even the setting of the Philippines is a nod to the golden age of action in the 70’s and 80’s, as is the title, which is reminiscent of Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991), Showdown (1993), or pretty much any action movie in the past where people were having some sort of showdown. It seemed to happen a lot back then.



Clearly, the standout aspect of ‘Manila is its stellar cast. For our two main heroes, we have the power team we’ve all been waiting to see together – Nevsky and Van Dien. Both are likable and they make a great duo. For some reason Nevsky seems to get a lot of “shade” online but we think he’s a solid action presence and has a Schwarzenegger-esque sense of humor. He doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, but he can still give the baddies a quality pounding. Nevsky should have been around in the 80’s, but now that he’s in our era, he can act as a sort of “throwback” action star of the type we’re more used to. 

Matthias Hues feels like an old friend at this point, and Tagawa always – ALWAYS – plays the baddie. He must have that kind of face. Carrere isn’t hunting relics anymore and it was nice to see her (and she was, of course, in the aforementioned Showdown In Little Tokyo, as was Tagawa). Things pick up when our heroes meet up with the reinforcements in the jungle. Seeing fan favorites Rothrock, The Dragon, and Gruner shooting and fighting people in the jungle really brought us back. It’s a direct reference to the 80’s and early 90’s. There just should have been less (or, ideally, no) CGI or questionable muzzle flashes. But that’s a minor quibble when we see our favorite stars back in action. Literally.



The three reinforcements should have had more screen time, but we’re happy with what we have. While they’re all wearing camo in the jungle, including Rothrock, her bright pink hair streaks kind of defeat that purpose…but it’s all part of the fun. The movie is filled with silly shootouts and amusing humor. It would’ve gone to theaters in the 80’s for sure.



Featuring the T.a.T.u-esque theme song, “Another Life” by Polina Butorina (who was in both this and Maximum Impact and sings both theme tunes), Showdown In Manila is about as close as we’re going to come these days to golden era-style action, and we applaud Nevsky, Dacascos, and the gang for that. We say keep ‘em coming.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Fight To Win (1987)

Fight To Win (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Leo Fong

Starring: George Chung, Hidy Ochiai, Bill "Superfoot" Wallace, Chuck Jeffreys, Juan Chapa, Richard Norton, Cynthia Rothrock, and Ronnie Lott

Ryan Kim (Chung) is an enthusiastic young Martial Artist that loves nothing more than training with his Sensei (Ochiai). One day after a tournament, the mysterious Armstrong (Norton) approaches them and offers Ryan the opportunity to fight Tankson (Superfoot). The reason for this is that Sensei has three ancient statues and the wealthy Armstrong wants them for his collection. When Tankson defeats Ryan, Sensei offers a “double or nothing” rematch, which the overconfident Armstrong can’t refuse. 

When Sensei is hospitalized after a heart attack, a new trainer is brought in – a woman named Lauren (Rothrock). At first, the immature and perhaps sexist Ryan doesn’t want to be trained by her. But after experiencing her brilliant skill, not only does he fall in line, he also falls in love. The stage is set for the ultimate showdown…and there’s even a raid on Armstrong’s compound that features Ryan’s buddies Michael (Jeffreys), Jerry (Chapa), and Randy (“All-pro football star Ronnie Lott”). It’s time for Ryan and the gang to FIGHT TO WIN!

From George Chung (not to be confused with one of the producers here, the prolific George Cheung), the mastermind behind Hawkeye (1988) and Kindergarten “Ninja” (1994), and director/fan favorite Leo Fong, comes Fight to Win, another wacky, screwball blend of Martial Arts, comedy, and an indefinable element that can only be found in the magical productions of the 80’s. If you’ve seen either of the aforementioned Chung outings, here you get more of the same (thankfully) – a low budget, but plenty of energy and upbeat attitude, silly dialogue and situations, and highly-skilled Martial Arts. The dialogue isn’t recorded very well so undoubtedly some of Chuck Jeffreys’s bon mots are missing in the mix, but the sense of fun is infectious, and the whole movie is imbued with a – dare we say – feeling of childlike wonder and whimsy.

It’s really impossible to dislike Fight to Win, and we feel sorry for anyone that does, as they probably have no heart or soul. The cast is killer: We have the aforementioned auteur George Chung, who gives his all here, Chuck Jeffreys, the Eddie Murphy of low-budget DTV Martial Arts movies, doing his usual stellar job, Troy Donahue in a blink-or-you’ll-miss-him cameo, Bill “Superfoot” Wallace as Armstrong’s tough-guy fighter, David Heavener lookalike Juan Chapa, Martial Arts legends Hidy Ochiai and Master Hee Il Cho, All-pro football star Ronnie Lott, and of course the teaming of Comeuppance hall of fame all-stars Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton, who do interact and have some fight scenes together. With Leo Fong as director, this cocktail can’t possibly fail, and it doesn’t. Rothrock is as charming as ever and Norton plays the baddie with aplomb. It’s a joy to watch everyone’s Martial Arts skill on display.

While there’s plenty of extensive training which the presence of Rothrock as the trainer helps to make more enjoyable, and some casually-racist Middle-Aged Punks (classic MAP’s), truly the showstopper is when the movie essentially stops so George Chung can have a one-man music video where he combines Martial Arts with razzle-dazzle dance moves. 

With this heady combination of Bruce Lee, Tae-Bo, Footloose, Flashdance, and Zumba, Chung – and thus the movie as a whole – truly shines. This dance element (which was foreshadowed earlier on during one of the tournament scenes) sets the movie apart and makes it stand out even more – and it was already a fairly odd duck to begin with. And we mean that in the best possible way, of course. Fight to Win is a delight from start to finish. Criminally, it never received a U.S. VHS release (and as of this writing has yet to receive a U.S. DVD or Blu-Ray release). The fact that just about everyone in America did NOT see this back in the day is painful to contemplate. Interestingly, it was released on video in Greece under the title “China O’Brian [sic] 3”, even though it came out three years before the other two sequels! At least they got to see it, however.

Well, there you have it. George Chung turns in another winner. They truly don’t make movies like this anymore, and in the self-serious modern era, Fight to Win just stands out that much more.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Mercenaries (2014)

Mercenaries (2014)- * *1\2

Directed by: Christopher Ray

Starring: Zoe Bell, Brigitte Nielsen, Tim Abell, Vivica A. Fox, Kristanna Loken, Nicole Bilderback, and Cynthia Rothrock

When the President’s daughter travels to Kazakhstan and then gets kidnapped by the evil Ulrika (Nielsen) and her henchman Gregori (Abell), a government agent named Mona (Rothrock) does the only logical thing - she assembles a team of female prisoners (with pasts appropriate to this task, of course). Led by Cassandra Clay (Bell), the other team members include Raven (Fox), Kat (Loken), and Mei-Lin (Bilderback). Armed to the teeth and with nothing to lose, the ladies embark on the deadly mission, facing everything from sexism to RPG’s along the way. Will they come out victorious? Will they rescue the President’s daughter? What will happen to the baddies when they face the MERCENARIES?

In the grand tradition of Hell Squad (1986), Sweet Justice (1992), and Mankillers (1987), Mercenaries is the latest in the lineage of low-budget DTV “assemble a female team” movies. While the brief seems to have been “create a DTV, all-female Expendables”, the end result is more in line with the three films mentioned above. Not that that’s such a bad thing, of course. But Mercenaries is just a bit too silly for its own good. If they could have dialed down some of the more inane and/or sophomoric elements just a tad, and taken the whole project slightly more seriously, we might have more of a winner here.

Top marks go to our new hero Zoe Bell, arguably the best part of the movie. While the other Mercenaries were off experiencing the time-honored Prerequisite Torture, Bell goes off on her own, and we appreciated that. We hope to see more of her in front of the camera (for those who don’t know, she’s an experienced stuntwoman). Overall, though, it seems the filmmakers were going for a bit of a lark - a reasonably pleasant piece of entertainment you don’t have to think about too hard (or at all). But where’s the line between that and something that’s just really dumb? Mercenaries certainly defines that line.

Sure, it has some of those needless, modern-day editing tricks, and the production values are very cheap-looking (as befitting of The Asylum production company), and the green screen/CGI quotient is unhealthy, but on the brighter side it has some classic 80’s/90’s style clichés - the wacky transportation driver, “It’s an election year”, and some un-PC dialogue (mostly centered around Mei-Lin). The comic-booky vibe is sledgehammered in with some interstitial cuts to comic book frames, an editing device pretty much universally frowned-upon when it came to that new cut of The Warriors (1979). Why Mercenaries chose to do it remains an open question.

There is plenty of groan-inducing dialogue as well, and top fan favorite Cynthia Rothrock has only one, all-too-brief fight scene. All the ladies, generally speaking, acquit themselves well, which is why we wished the overall product had more weight and heft to it, instead of being the aforementioned lark. It’s easy viewing, to be sure, and we like the tradition it falls in, so we’re willing to cut it some slack. But the silliness/dumbness factor reaches daffy proportions, so it’s kind of a wash.

In the end, Mercenaries is a well-meaning trifle, buoyed by Zoe Bell and her cohorts. We personally would have liked some more grit, however. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Tiger Claws III (2000)

Tiger Claws III (2000)- *1\2

Directed by: J. Stephen Maunder

Starring: Jalal Merhi, Loren Avedon, and Cynthia Rothrock

Tarek (Merhi) and Linda (Rothrock) return as “New York City”* cops in this third and, thankfully, last installment of the Tiger Claws franchise. And what a franchise it was. This time around, an evil baddie named Stryker (Avedon) comes on the scene. While we have seen many guys over the years with the name Stryker, this time he mentions that his name is “Stryker Godunov”. Okay. So, Stryker Godunov for some unknown reason unleashes three unkillable Martial Arts masters onto the streets of  Toronto...sorry, NEW YORK, and all sorts of havoc ensues. Because Tarek is a bit slow in the head, it takes him a while to find the answer that will stop all the madness. Obviously, the answer is Carter Wong, just like in real life. Carter, as Master Jin, takes Tarek to the icy wastes of...New York...to train hard, Rocky IV style, to fight the bad guys that are Superman 2 style. With Stryker controlling the baddies, is anybody safe? Will Tarek rise to the occasion? Or will something truly stupid happen to screw it all up?

Yes, as you may have noticed, there is a Tiger Claws THREE. Just why, exactly, is anybody’s guess. We had a hard time sitting through TC3 (and if Billy Blanks is to be believed - and he usually is - there are only 1,997 sequels to go) for numerous reasons. Sure, it has some of the standard low-budget movie pitfalls we are more than used to and totally okay with: bad lighting, junky-looking cinematography, and acting so stilted it should be used by Uncle Sam in a Labor Day parade. The real crime here, if you can overlook the surface problems, is the minimal appearance by fan favorite Cynthia Rothrock, in favor of Jalal Merhi and the ever-unlikable Loren Avedon. Though, to be fair, he is well-cast as a pompous jerk bad guy.  

Why director Maunder thought axing the delightful Rothrock just so Merhi can clog up our screens like a hairball in a shower drain remains unknown, but maybe it wasn’t up to him. Maybe Rothrock, wisely, said no more. Speaking of hair, and to be fair to “Tarek”, Merhi’s hair does look less painted-on than usual. But the lack of Rothrock isn’t even the worst of Maunder’s sins. Without giving anything away, there is a mind-numbingly stupid plot twist that, as a viewer, will likely make you feel angry and insulted. Again: why? And no amount of recycled Bolo Yeung scenes and “33% new footage!” flashback moments can paper over it.

So while Stryker’s need to take three 500-year-old outfits in a museum display and make them come alive and do wire-fu is not explained, neither are the methods used to combat it. Tarek prepares to combat the supernatural evil by attempting to snatch a piece of sushi hanging from a string by sticking his hand through a Price is Right-style moving wheel. That oughta show’em. Thankfully, however, the great Carter Wong is here to help us all, and his classic Hardcase and Fist-style delivery is still in full force. For example, when he says the word “Stryker”, his super-thick accent makes it sounds like he’s saying “Fraggle”. Which leads to quotes such as “Fraggle is against me”.  Perhaps a Doozer would be more intimidating than Loren Avedon.

There’s the time-honored warehouse fight, a lot of yelling and grunting (mainly because the three baddies never say anything), and even a T.I.G.-style farmhouse fight. Even at the final fight, the jumping/alternating hitting the sides of the feet thing looks less like a battle to the death and more like the Kid n’ Play dance. At one point, someone even says “they are fighting spirit” - perhaps a reference to the 1992 Loren Avedon movie of the same name? But, in the end, Tiger Claws III feels like a loser of a movie, if not a complete waste of time...and that thing we mentioned earlier is the straw that breaks the Tiger’s back.

*Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!