Red Scorpion 2 (1994)

Red Scorpion 2 (1994)-* * *

Directed by: Michael Kennedy

Starring: Matt McColm, Michael Ironside, Jennifer Rubin, Paul Ben-Victor, Réal Andrews, George Touliatos, and John Savage











From the mind of the notorious Jack Abramoff comes...

To stop the evil neo-Nazi Andrew Kendrick (Savage) from taking over the world with the stolen artifact the "Spear Of Destiny", Col. West (Ironside) and Sam Guinness (Rubin) assemble a ragtag team to infiltrate their compound. The leader, a "roguish superagent", is Ben Affleck dead-ringer Nick Stone (McColm). Other team members include:
1. Good ol' boy Billy Ryan (Michael Covert), the sharpshooter,
2. The token computer nerd Vince D'Angelo (Ben-Victor), the irritating "George Costanza" of the group,
3. Token Asian Joe Nakamura,
4. And token black man Winston "Mad Dog" Powell (Andrews). If this were the show "Criminal Minds", he would be the Shemar Moore character. He gets to call the evil skinheads "eggs with legs" and screams loudly every time he fires a machine gun.

They are all under the command of Gregori (Touliatos). They don't need to be, but the movie needed a connection, no matter how tenuous, to the first film. Gregori claims to have trained Nikolai, as played by Dolph Lundgren. Dolph is not in this film. So now they are all in the "Red Scorpion Brigade" and have small scorpion tattoos on their arms. It all Matt McColminates with some shooting and explosions (which they should have just done from minute 1 of the movie, but then there would be no movie).



Will this team be able to work together and infiltrate and dismantle Kendrick's nefarious operation? Could Matt McColm look any MORE like Ben Affleck? Will it be "Armageddon" all over again for our heroes? And what is "Kendrick's Roulette" exactly? Find out today!

Silly fun that is brain-numbingly dumb, Red Scorpion 2 has quite possibly every cliche in action movie history. Stone is going on "one last mission", he jumps from an explosion in slow motion, the unnecessary training sequences (which primarily consist of the team endlessly rock climbing), the old abandoned warehouses, the old, dying master and much much more.



John Savage as Kendrick makes a great bad guy. When he first sees the "Spear Of Destiny" he keeps saying "Ohhhhh" over and over again. He's such an evil Nazi, he has a glove drawer. He has a command center with film of Hitler running on a continuous loop. He also has some great underlings. Mr. Benjamin's only talent is counting in an extremely ominous and strained tone. Hans (of course that's his name), is a weird cross between Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer as Frasier and David Hyde Pierce as Niles. If you've ever wanted to see a cast member of "Frasier" execute a spin kick, this is the movie for you.

By contrast, McColm as the appropriately-named Stone is about as animated and lively as petrified wood. His "martial arts" consists of clumsily slapping his opponents. Michael Ironside looks really bored and unchallenged by his pat role.

It is insulting to the audience. When we see bad guys getting away, someone says "they're getting away!" When an oil drum with the gigantic letters "GAS" rolls toward our heroes, one of them yells "it's gas!" This can also be seen in Street Fighter (1994) E. Honda says that line and Matt McColm performs a "1000 hand slap" just like Honda and both movies came out the same year. Coincidence? I think not.

Despite the fact that the movie is silly, dumb and cliche-ridden, we loved how funny Red Scorpion 2 is and we had a lot of fun watching it.

Discover the "Spear Of Destiny" tonight with this classic!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett

The Devastator (1985)

The Devastator (1985)-* * *

AKA: The Destroyers

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: Rick Hill, Katt Shea, Crofton Hardesterm and Jack S. Daniels








One of the best things about The Devastator is that it is no-nonsense, no-frills action fun that packs a good punch at 79 minutes.

Deacon "Deke" Porter (Hill) is a Vietnam Vet, who heads into the sleepy little town of King's Ransom, California. He's there to investigate the death of his 'Nam buddy Marcus Dearing. Unfortunately, the town is run by a coterie of redneck pot growers, the ringleader being the nefarious John Carey (Hardesterm). They even have Sheriff Clay Marsh (Kaz Garas) in their pocket. They don't cotton to outsiders, so when Deke comes sniffing around their turf, a war ensues. Luckily, Deke has an ace in the hole: his old army buddies Spence (the electronics expert) and Ox (The goofy, loud punchfighter) (Daniels) to help him out.

Who will be victorious? The smarmy bastard John Carey or will the mighty hero Ox reign supreme?

Hill as Deke is bit bland to be an action hero and he has an unflattering overbite. This doesn't stop him from being a slickster with the ladies and wearing his Member's Only jacket while sitting on a chair backwards so he can "rap" with people. Thankfully Jack S. Daniels (great name) is an American treasure to be discovered again and again! We need more men like him in the movies and in real life.




While most films of this era were concentrating on evil cocaine-related baddies, The Devastator goes the opposite direction and shows evil pot growers. John Carey is a hilarious name for the main villain. When they say his name in the film, you think of the failed presidential candidate windsurfing, and throwing HIS Vietnam medals over a fence. Where are the Swift Boat Veterans For Truth when you need them?

Directed by prolific fan-favorite Cirio (we are on a first name basis), this bears a similarity to the classic Final Mission (1984), it even has the same gratuitous fan-favorite death, decapitation. One of the strongest aspects of the movie is that it has a double-revenge plot. Deke has to get revenge for his fallen buddy and for himself.

In the U.S., The Devastator was released on VHS in one of those great MGM\UA big boxes. You gotta love 'em. If you don't like VHS big boxes, you are a traitor to our great country.

Ox it up tonight with this classic!



Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett