No Tomorrow (1999)

No Tomorrow (1999)- *1\2

Directed by: Master P

Starring: Gary Daniels, Jeff Fahey, Gary Busey, Jodi Bianca Wise, Pam Grier, Clifton Powell, Frank Zagarino,  Master P, with Jerry Vale and C-Murder

"Ya Gonna Wind Up Daaaiiiid"- C-Murder 

Jason (Daniels) is a likable (of course) London transplant trying to make ends meet in L.A. as he chases the American Dream. Jason is a card-carrying member of his local video store and loves nothing more than to play Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park pinball at his local dive bar. His gregarious co-worker Davis (Fahey) charms him into getting involved with crime boss Noah (Busey), but Jason really doesn’t want to be a criminal. However, Noah takes a shine to Jason. It turns out that fellow criminal Maker (P) is after Noah, as is an FBI Agent named Diane (Grier). In the midst of all this chaos, Jason and Lara (Wise) forge a relationship. Will the hapless Jason walk away with his life, or for him will there be…NO TOMORROW?

As one of the final films produced by PM, No Tomorrow signaled the death knell for one of our favorite companies. The title proved to be more apt than perhaps even they realized.

If there was ever any last-ditch attempt to save the company from impending doom, handing the directorial reins over to Master P for this movie would seem to indicate that their hearts just weren’t in it anymore. You’d think a DTV outing with all these classic B-movie stars couldn’t lose, but it’s just another case of Lone Tiger Effect. The fact that footage was recycled from Narrow Margin (1990) and Air America (1990) just reinforces the “Now it’s 1999 and DTV is in the doldrums” vibe. 

Yet, because it’s still PM after all, the stuntwork, action, gunfights, pyro, and blow-ups are still excellent. The technicians behind making all this amazing stuff happen should be applauded for making it all look great on-screen. The problem is that the movie around it is a dud. It’s completely uneven; one minute Master P has some sort of combination flamethrower/missile launcher and is barbecuing everything in sight, then there are some extended dialogue scenes, then we’re in Master P’s recording studio watching Silkk Tha Shocker AND C-Murder lay down some tracks (all while wearing No Limit clothing, of course), then Pam Grier sits in an FBI control room for a while, and then we get some recycled footage, etc., etc. There no continuity, structure, or pacing, never mind a Tomorrow. 

We’re of two minds about Gary Daniels’s role in all this. On the one hand, yes, of course we want to see him do Martial Arts, which is missing from this performance. It’s hard to not see that as a missed opportunity. On the other hand, we kind of liked that he was cast against type as a humble pencil-pusher. In other casting observations, we liked Fahey’s freewheeling, smarmy performance – he probably figured he didn’t have a lot to lose here, so he hammed it up. It was pretty Charlie Sheen-esque.

Things perked up whenever Gary Busey was on screen. As usual, he brought a lot of crazy life to the scenes he was in. He even makes it a point to say that Maker produces, and we quote, “jungle music”. Fan favorite Frank Zagarino has a glorified cameo (Jerry Vale of all people has an actual cameo), and Master (thespian) P gives a mumbling, inarticulate performance, but in all fairness he did have to talk around his gold grill. It probably gave him problems, but is this guy supposed to be the hero of the movie? It’s impossible to tell. Needless to say, there’s a crazy twist at the end that turns all the nonsense we’ve heretofore seen on its head, as if that was necessary.

Yes, it’s all very junky and a fairly ignominious end to the once-fine PM organization. Even Hot Boyz (2000) is better than this. Sadly, even the classic exploding helicopter had to come from the aforementioned Narrow Margin footage. Jeff Fahey and Gary Daniels should’ve been cops who team up to bust some heads. It could have been like the classic years of PM and really cool. Instead, they came up with this muddled jumble of Homie Movie/drama/thriller/DTV actioner and it doesn’t really work.

Despite the presences of some of our favorite names, and the backing of a great company, No Tomorrow is a disappointment.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Demolitionist (1995)

The Demolitionist (1995)- * *

Directed by: Robert Kurtzman

Starring: Nicole Eggert, Richard Greico, Susan Tyrrell, Randy Vasquez, Heather Lankencamp, Bruce Campbell, and Rosey Brown

In the future, Metro City is overrun by crime. While Mayor Grimsbaum (Tyrrell) attempts to make herself look good in the midst of this epidemic, most of said crime seems to be masterminded by the Burne Brothers, Mad Dog (Grieco) and Little Henry (Vasquez). 

On the eve of their electric chair execution, Mad Dog escapes and reconnects with his old gang in the city. Undercover cop Alyssa Lloyd (Eggert) infiltrates Mad Dog’s gang, but is recognized and then assaulted and left for dead. However, thanks to Professor Jack Crowley (Abbott), Alyssa is regenerated and then put into a nifty skintight black Kevlar suit. After singlehandedly lowering the Metro City crime rate, Alyssa Lloyd is rechristened “The Demolitionist”. Though, to be fair, if you’re looking for buildings to be demolished, Alyssa isn’t really your gal. Anyway, the final battle between The Demolitionist and Mad Dog inevitably materializes…who will demolish who? Or…whom?

Starting with the obvious, The Demolitionist is a low-budget cross between Robocop (1987) and Darkman (1990). Or, more in our wheelhouse, it’s better than Robo-C.H.I.C. (1990) but not as good as Cyclone (1987). We believe the Darkman comparison is especially apt, because director Kurtzman – an associate of Sam Raimi thanks to his being the “K” in the KNB EFX group and having worked with him in the past – really seems to be Raimi’ing himself in here. Perhaps the closest comparison, really, is to Raimi’s short-lived M.A.N.T.I.S. TV series. The Demolitionist has a very similar plot to that, but instead of Carl Lumbly in the super-suit, it’s Nicole Eggert. 

Further comparisons could be made to Barb Wire (1996) and Point of No Return (1993), but that’s just it: there’s almost endless movies we could compare The Demolitionist to. Lack of originality in a comic-book movie like this isn’t, alone, such a bad thing, but The Demolitionist is missing the wit and sense of pacing that a Raimi movie has. We have to wait a long time for her to really become “The Demolitionist”. 

On a more positive note, the idea of Nicole Eggert as a supersoldier who wants unending revenge on her enemies is a strong one. She walks away slowly from an explosion, which is good, and her Revenge Outfit is pretty cool, but are her guns so high-powered they cause a pinkish chalkdust to arise from her targets? What’s that all about?

One of the best things about this movie is the cast. It’s chock-full of B-movie names we all know and love, and there’s even a cameo by, you guessed it, Bruce Campbell. As if the Raimi comparisons needed further enhancing. It would take too long to list everyone involved, but one Rosey Brown as Big Frank steals the movie despite his brief appearance. 

As much as we enjoyed watching Nicole Eggert take on this type of role, we can’t help but wonder what would have happened if PM made a movie like this and cast Cynthia Rothrock as the heroic avenger in the shiny black suit. We can only imagine the result would be stronger than this, because The Demolitionist has a junky look to it that does it no favors. It really shows what a low budget DTV product this truly was, but that should have been easily sidestepped by the cast and behind-the-scenes makeup dudes who masterminded this whole misadventure.

Featuring the end-credits song “Demolition” by Paul Blubaugh, sadly The Demolitionist will never boast an endless series of sequels, a TV show, a toy line, a comic book, and mass-market pop culture appeal. We assume that’s what the filmmakers were going for, but it’s missing a certain “it factor” that would cause it to be the latest superhero sensation. But, then again, not everything can be a Green Lantern (2011).

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty