The Gardener (2021)

 

The Gardener (2021)- * * *

Directed by: Scott Chambers 

Starring: Robert Bronzi, Jake Watkins, Sarah Cohen, and Gary Daniels

Peter Juhasz (Bronzi) is a kindly gardener working for a rather well-off family in the UK. While tending to the grounds and his greenhouse, he isn't afraid to take some time out and impart life lessons to the two teenage (?) kids, Justin (Watkins) and Hannah (Cohen). The peace of their countryside estate is shattered when a gang of criminal baddies led by the sinister Volker (Daniels) invades the home. They're looking for a hard drive of information. In the process of these evil goings-on, Juhasz gets wise to their scheme, and he reverts back to his former military training. He then proceeds to rescue the family by taking on the baddies one by one. But, naturally, he will have to face off mano-a-mano with Volker. Will Juhasz take out the trash...er...leaf bags?



Hey, I guess if Jason Statham can be The Beekeeper, or The Transporter, and Aaron Eckhart can be The Bricklayer, then why can't Robert Bronzi be The Gardener? The danger with all this is that if current trends continue, then action movies will become no better than Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider films - i.e., the movie title is almost always their job (or their character's name). Perhaps calling this film "Peter Juhasz" didn't have the snappy ring to it that the filmmakers probably wanted. Although if they did do that, the movie would probably do gangbusters in Hungary. Juhasz is a vegetarian and at one point he asks for a nice vegetarian goulash. This might be the first film we've ever seen where the word "goulash" is said, much less requested by the main character.



The good news in all this is that Robert Bronzi still bears an uncanny and, frankly, alarming resemblance to Charles Bronson. That's a relief. Thankfully, he has not changed. The last time we saw him was Death Kiss (2018), and, wouldn't ya just know it, he looked a lot like Bronson then too. As Benjamin Franklin once said, there are three sure things in life: death, taxes, and Robert Bronzi's face. Exact quote.



While the first half or so of the film is largely actionless, we applaud the makers of The Gardener for actually attempting to give us character development. You have to set up the scene before you can knock it down. In that sense, the relatively slow pace is a throwback to the 70's drive-in films of yore. Once Bronzi/Juhasz snaps into his war footing, things do pick up rather well. We liked how he used his gardening tools to fight the baddies (i.e. a lawnmower, shears, some sort of raking hoe, etc.) Live by the garden, die by the garden.




It's like a lower-budget version of the end of The Equalizer (2014) - and if the aforementioned Beekeeper (2024), and The Equalizer can go to the theater, maybe Bronzi will too one day? Well, we can dream. However, this time around we get a more serious Bronzi. The tone is not as silly as you might think.



As far as fan favorite Gary Daniels, it's very safe to say that he's still "got it". He spends a good chunk of the movie shirtless and beating up his own crew. His character of Volker (which just sounds evil) really enjoys snapping people's necks. He even goes out of his way to snap some necks when he doesn't even have to. Some people like popping bubble wrap, some like snapping necks. Comme ci, comme ca. Not only did we like seeing an older, more grizzled Daniels, it was nice to see him in a rare baddie role.



However, not everything here is coming up roses. The night scenes are very dark and hard to see. At a certain point, things become very repetitive, especially in the dialogue department. For example, one of the baddies, while not wearing a mask like his compatriots do, yells over and over that "They saw my face!!" Whose fault is that, moron? The family was tied up. They didn't do anything to your mask. This same guy continually threatens, "I'm gonna kill 'em!!" or some variation thereof. Maybe the point was to really make the audience want Bronzi to come in and rake the guy to death or some such thing. But we already want that, so all the repetition isn't necessary, by definition.



All that being said, the slasheresque one-by-one killing by different and relatively creative ways was a plus, which adds to the "throwback" feel of the film, as does the quest by the baddies for "The Drive", which apparently is the 21st Century MacGuffin - it once was the ledger, then the tape, then the disc, now it's the drive.



Despite its evident (painfully, at times) low budget, The Gardener does end up delivering what you want. While far from perfect, we should all be thankful that Robert Bronzi exists. And that movies are being made, however flawed, that feature him as the main star. We really are living in extraordinary times.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Zero Tolerance (2015)

 

Zero Tolerance (2015)- * *1\2

Directed by: Kaos

Starring: Kane Kosugi, Nina Paosut, Sahajak Boonthanakit, Dustin Nguygen, Scott Adkins, and Gary Daniels 

When a girl named Angel (Paosut) turns up dead, Bangkok cop Peter (Boonthanakit) travels to Ho Chi Minh city to track down her estranged father, Johnny (Nguyen). Together, the two men go back to Bangkok and proceed to search the seedier areas of the city in search of answers as to Angel's death. Along the way, characters such as Steven (Adkins), Sammy (Daniels), and Kane (Kosugi) come and go, but will the mystery of Angel's death be revealed?



Well, we had to see this movie for the cast alone. While Adkins and Daniels don't share any scenes together (and there's a good reason for that that we will get to in a moment), they are both here, as is Kane Kosugi, action stalwarts all. And while the film is reasonably professionally directed and shot (if some scenes are underlit as many modern films tend to be), it loses focus and direction a lot of the time. It also could have used a heck of a lot more action, but that makes sense, because...



If the presence of Scott Adkins in the film seems a bit out of joint, there's a very good reason for that. Apparently, Zero Tolerance started life as a film called Angels (2012), and you can still see this version if you want. It was a passion project for director Kaos, and more of a drama. Then some of the money people told him that this Angels movie, as good as it may be, would be a tough sell in the film marketplace. So footage with Adkins was integrated into the pre-existing Angels film, and a total re-edit was done, and in the end a completely new film was fashioned called Zero Tolerance.

Just exactly why this movie is called Zero Tolerance, we don't exactly know, especially because few movies can compete with the awesome Robert Patrick Zero Tolerance (1994). So, if you name your movie after a superior film, you're just asking to look worse by comparison. Nevertheless, there are some bright spots along the way, such as Peter's young tot of a son proclaiming, "the lead singer of our band sucks!", the classic warehouse deal gone wrong featuring some of the Adkins footage, and Gary Daniels's wild Hawaiian shirt. This seems especially at odds with the intense dramatic performance Daniels gives, which ranks highly as one of his best acting moments ever. Yes, we would have liked some classic Daniels fights, but at least he got to shine in the drama department.

Director Wych Kaosayananda, alternately known as Wych Kaos, or, in the case of his Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002), simply just Kaos, has been working with fan favorite Mark Dacascos a lot lately, in such films as The Driver (2019) and, of course, One Night in Bangkok (2020), which also features Kane Kosugi. Despite the...interesting...history regarding Zero Tolerance's editing process, he manages to turn in something watchable. But that's all. It's not great and there are a lot of problems here. So, in the end, it's probably a one-time watch for Adkins and Daniels fans.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddies The Video Vacuum and  DTVC!

The Secret Of King Mahi's Island (1988)

 

The Secret Of King Mahi's Island (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Leonard Hayes 

Starring: Gary Daniels, Anthony East, Jim Gaines, Michelle Frankenberger, William Romero, Jerry Beyer, Kurt Otto Frankenberger, Boy Clinton, and Gomez 

A man named Chuck (Daniels) is a treasure hunter. He and his close band of buddies find themselves in the rural, jungle-enclosed areas of the Philippines doing what they do best. I.e., hunting treasure. They're in this particular area of the world because they're on the hunt for a map that would lead to a hidden cache of gold, supposedly left there long ago by a certain King Mahi. 

Of course, a baddie named Ben (East) and his minions are also looking for the map. During the course of their evil map search, they kill a father named Vince, and in his dying moments he gives a boomerang to his son. As you do. Joe (Kurt Otto Frankenberger) and his sister Leah (Michelle Frankenberger), presumably real-life siblings, join Chuck and his crew on their quest. Leah is also handy with a bow and arrow. This ragtag bunch of misfits then team up with friendly local people to find the treasure and wipe out the bad guys. Who will uncover THE SECRET OF KING MAHI'S ISLAND?

The Secret of King Mahi's Island starts off with several paragraphs of on-screen text that is light blue on a patterned background that you absolutely cannot read. We think it had something to do with the origin of King Mahi and his gold, but we can't be totally sure. Starting off on that note isn't exactly the most auspicious way to kick off the film, but things do get better from there.

You know 'Mahi is a Philippines-set jungle actioner due to the cast: Jerry Beyer, Anthony East, Jim Moss, and Jim Gaines (who evidently also performed uncredited co-direction work on the film), among other mainstays, are all here. We also get other classic credits such as Gomez (just Gomez) as 'Chief Right Hand Man', William Romero as 'Black Legs', Tsing Tong Tsai as Kimo (presumably not the same guy as the one in The Ultimate Fight), Anthony Ogunsanya as Tatu (presumably not the Russian pop duo), and a personal favorite, Boy Clinton as Boy.

Naturally, there are lots of silly lines (and silly line readings and funny dubbing). Of course, the main baddie warns his charges that he doesn't want any more mistakes. Gary Daniels should have done more Martial Arts than he does in the film, but what we get is decent enough. He does wear a sleeveless stonewashed denim shirt with acid-washed jeans, which may be the 80's version of not mixing plaids and stripes, but it's one of those "Only in the 80's" outfits that endear the viewer to the film overall.

He also wears an Indiana Jones-esque hat, and the soundtrack by Mon Del Rosario is John Williams with one synthesizer, further underlying that 'Mahi leans more towards adventure than straight-out action. You have to admire that a first-time (and only-time) director, one Leonard Hayes, attempted to create an Indiana Jones-esque movie with minimal money in the Philippine jungle. Maybe that's why Gaines had to step in to help him out; perhaps Hayes got in over his head. But the fact that he tried was extremely impressive, and shows what a golden time it was in that era of filmmaking. Filmmakers must have thought that they could try anything and just see if it worked. There seemed to be little fear of failure. That's why we have all these fantastic 80's movies we have today. Unfortunately, the film barely got a release at the time, but thanks to the magic of the Internet, we can now all see it.

Other highlights include the very excitable Joe, who is clearly the Bin Bin of this movie, there's an exploding helicopter, and a dance sequence involving the native peoples. It's like one of those Italian cannibal movies but without any of the cannibalism. Overall it's better than Dudikoff's River of Death (1989).

'Mahi was one of the rarest Gary Daniels movies to track down. Apparently it got only a minuscule DTV release in 1988 in the Philippines, Spain and Japan. Collectors have been trying to get a hold of it ever since, with hardly any luck. But, as referenced earlier, it's out there these days for all the world to see. Is it the best Gary Daniels movie out there? Not by a long stretch, but Daniels fans will definitely want to check it out. Jungle adventure buffs will enjoy it as well, and anyone who likes hard-to-find action films will be able to get something out of it. But don't go in expecting another Recoil (1998).

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, DTVC!

Capital Punishment (1991)

Capital Punishment (1990)- * * *

Directed by: David Huey

Starring: Gary Daniels, Tadashi Yamashita, Ava Fabian, Ian Jacklin, Linda Lightfoot, Mel Novak, and David Carradine



"Keep The Change"- James Thayer

"Fifty....Fifty"- Blonde Goon






Trust me, you never want to do "Kick". Evidently, Kick is the most addictive drug in Asia. It was originally given to meat farmers (pretty sure that's a thing) to make sure their cows and chickens grow faster and, presumably, meatier. Now Asia is hooked, and one man is poised to bring this scourge to the U.S. of A. His name is Nakata (Yamashita), and he is also a Martial Arts master and he's evil. So the DEA enlists a professional kickboxer to take down the Kick dealers (as you do). James Thayer (Daniels) sports a sweet ponytail and high-waisted jeans, which makes it easier for him to kick people. Which comes in handy when you're battling Kick dealers. See, it all comes together.



With his wife Anna (Fabian) in danger, his kickboxing opponent Lozano (Jacklin) angry, and a potential crimefighting partner named Holt (Lightfoot) trying to catch up, Thayer has yet another problem. It turns out (and this isn't a spoiler; we know this pretty much from the jump) that Nakata is Thayer's sensei and he taught him everything he knows. Isn't that always the way? Will Thayer finally KICK the habit? Find out today!

David Carradine is on the phone. And he wants to talk to you. That's right, Carradine is in Capital Punishment also, as a man named Michael Maltin. Well, "in" is such a relative term. He really does let his fingers do the walking. I haven't seen this much phone shilling since 1-800-COLLECT. 

Anyway, when we first saw that Capital Punishment was directed by David Hue, we thought, "uh oh". After all, that's the guy behind Bloodfight 3 (AKA Karate Wars), which was pretty weak. Well, color us tickled pink, because 'Punishment was a total surprise. Yes, it's very low budget, of course, but it's hilariously funny and entertaining. It couldn't be more different from Karate Wars. It's a winner. Trust us. Ignore any hate you may have read towards this movie online. Anyone with a sense of humor will love it.

The plot is nonsensical, the dialogue is childish, the line deliveries are on par with a middle school play, the reaction shots are priceless, the grunting is plentiful, the incidental characters are colorful, and the fight scenes are gems. It's all very, very, VERY silly. You can't help but love it. There's something infectious about it. The time flies by while you're watching it and it's just so much fun.

The aforementioned fight scenes are almost non-stop. The great and mighty Gary Daniels is continually punching or kicking someone. It rarely lets up. Clearly a lot of time and attention went into these scenes, far more than any of the others. Some notable moments include when Daniels is fighting with two flashlights in a darkened room, and the whole scene in the ice factory. It was interesting to see a younger Gary Daniels kind of feeling his way through things. Obviously better things were to come for him, but this was a nice early role for one of our action idols. 

The whole thing starts in a sort of "Kickboxing Dinner Theatre" where Gary and some other dude - both of whom are wearing shorts that say "Kickboxing USA" on them - are battling it out in front of classy people who are sitting at dinner tables. Not long after that, we're informed that "nine out of ten" children in Asia have birth defects because their parents took Kick. Seems like a lot. Of course, there's a barfight, a warehouse fight, and a Final Rooftop Fight, but there's a fight pretty much everywhere. Further adding to the ridiculous fun, every time something blows up, it's from another movie. Then it ends and a great time was had by all.

We should also add that while the film's alternate title, Kickbox Terminator, is a cool one, it's not related at all to what we see in any way, shape or form. It's not like there's some sort of cybernetic guy in a ring with boxing gloves punching people. Of course, we would watch that if it's ever made.

In the end, we really loved Capital Punishment. You have to really have a heart of stone if you can't get any enjoyment out of it. Yes, visually it has that "junky" look to it but if you can get past that, a diamond in the rough will emerge. Oh, and next time your phone rings, just think...there's a really good chance it may be Michael Maltin.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and DTVC!

Skin Traffik (2015)

Skin Traffik (2015)- * * *

AKA: A Hitman in London

Directed by: Ara Paiaya

Starring: Gary Daniels, Dominique Swain, Daryl Hannah, Jeff Fahey, Eric Roberts, Michael Madsen, and Mickey Rourke







Bradley (Daniels) was a hitman, but he gave it all up. But a chance meeting on the streets of London with a prostitute named Anna Peel (Swain) slowly embroils him in the danger of the underworld once again. 

Not only does he have to face the goons sent forth by the guy that used to run him, known only as The Executive (Roberts), but also a pair of evil SKIN TRAFFIKers named The Boss (Madsen) and Zhanna (Hannah) are wise to Bradley ruining all their operations. Teaming up with a mysterious diamond merchant named Jacob Andries (Fahey), the two men aim to find Anna's missing sister...and take down the baddies's operations forever. But what will Vogel (Rourke) have to say about all this? Find out when a HITMAN IN LONDON comes to your screen...



Thank goodness for Ara Paiaya. He's one of the few people out there delivering old school-style action movies for the fans. We saw the follow-up to Skin Traffik, Instant Death (2017), first, and really enjoyed it. But we liked Skin Traffik even more. It's very hard to lose when you put Gary Daniels in the main hero role and he goes around busting heads. Surround him with a top-notch cast of B-Movie regulars and you have a real winner on your hands.

The plot is sort of Urban Justice (2007) meets Taken (2008) meets the aforementioned Instant Death. Again, a very winning formula. The whole thing kicks off, quite literally, with Gary Daniels looking for the time-honored "Disk" just like in all the action movies of the old days. 

The only difference now is he's asking Mickey Rourke, who is almost unrecognizable here. If it wasn't for his voice, we wouldn't have recognized him at all. Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? He looks like a cross between what happened to Kenny Rogers, Jocelyn Wildenstein, and an old Hollywood agent. Gary Daniels still looks good and seems vital because he doesn't go in for any of that superficial muck. 

Fan favorite Madsen brings his classic charisma and his gravelly voice to the proceedings. It would have been nice to see him and Daryl Hannah in other settings besides just that one room, but we're still happy they're there. Same goes for Eric Roberts, who also puts in an enjoyable performance, but for most of it, it's a classic sit-down role. To be fair, he does get up later, however. The whole rest of the cast is fantastic and we're very happy they all agreed to be in this low-budget DTV action movie.

Sure, some of the action scenes are a bit rough around the edges, but the viewer can tell they were done with a lot of heart. The sped-up action and the CGI were not even needed. For a true old-school feel, they should have been eschewed, especially with Gary Daniels at the helm. But, on the whole, those are minor quibbles and we really enjoyed Skin Traffik immensely. 

You can tell that Paiaya and his compatriots really cared about what they were doing, and that shines through to us, the viewer. If he chooses to continue down this road of action filmmaking, which he clearly has a lot of affection for, the sky's the limit for what he can do in the future. We wholeheartedly recommend Skin Traffik.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, DTVC!

No Tomorrow (1999)

No Tomorrow (1999)- *1\2

Directed by: Master P

Starring: Gary Daniels, Jeff Fahey, Gary Busey, Jodi Bianca Wise, Pam Grier, Clifton Powell, Frank Zagarino,  Master P, with Jerry Vale and C-Murder

"Ya Gonna Wind Up Daaaiiiid"- C-Murder 

Jason (Daniels) is a likable (of course) London transplant trying to make ends meet in L.A. as he chases the American Dream. Jason is a card-carrying member of his local video store and loves nothing more than to play Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park pinball at his local dive bar. His gregarious co-worker Davis (Fahey) charms him into getting involved with crime boss Noah (Busey), but Jason really doesn’t want to be a criminal. However, Noah takes a shine to Jason. It turns out that fellow criminal Maker (P) is after Noah, as is an FBI Agent named Diane (Grier). In the midst of all this chaos, Jason and Lara (Wise) forge a relationship. Will the hapless Jason walk away with his life, or for him will there be…NO TOMORROW?

As one of the final films produced by PM, No Tomorrow signaled the death knell for one of our favorite companies. The title proved to be more apt than perhaps even they realized.

If there was ever any last-ditch attempt to save the company from impending doom, handing the directorial reins over to Master P for this movie would seem to indicate that their hearts just weren’t in it anymore. You’d think a DTV outing with all these classic B-movie stars couldn’t lose, but it’s just another case of Lone Tiger Effect. The fact that footage was recycled from Narrow Margin (1990) and Air America (1990) just reinforces the “Now it’s 1999 and DTV is in the doldrums” vibe. 

Yet, because it’s still PM after all, the stuntwork, action, gunfights, pyro, and blow-ups are still excellent. The technicians behind making all this amazing stuff happen should be applauded for making it all look great on-screen. The problem is that the movie around it is a dud. It’s completely uneven; one minute Master P has some sort of combination flamethrower/missile launcher and is barbecuing everything in sight, then there are some extended dialogue scenes, then we’re in Master P’s recording studio watching Silkk Tha Shocker AND C-Murder lay down some tracks (all while wearing No Limit clothing, of course), then Pam Grier sits in an FBI control room for a while, and then we get some recycled footage, etc., etc. There no continuity, structure, or pacing, never mind a Tomorrow. 

We’re of two minds about Gary Daniels’s role in all this. On the one hand, yes, of course we want to see him do Martial Arts, which is missing from this performance. It’s hard to not see that as a missed opportunity. On the other hand, we kind of liked that he was cast against type as a humble pencil-pusher. In other casting observations, we liked Fahey’s freewheeling, smarmy performance – he probably figured he didn’t have a lot to lose here, so he hammed it up. It was pretty Charlie Sheen-esque.

Things perked up whenever Gary Busey was on screen. As usual, he brought a lot of crazy life to the scenes he was in. He even makes it a point to say that Maker produces, and we quote, “jungle music”. Fan favorite Frank Zagarino has a glorified cameo (Jerry Vale of all people has an actual cameo), and Master (thespian) P gives a mumbling, inarticulate performance, but in all fairness he did have to talk around his gold grill. It probably gave him problems, but is this guy supposed to be the hero of the movie? It’s impossible to tell. Needless to say, there’s a crazy twist at the end that turns all the nonsense we’ve heretofore seen on its head, as if that was necessary.

Yes, it’s all very junky and a fairly ignominious end to the once-fine PM organization. Even Hot Boyz (2000) is better than this. Sadly, even the classic exploding helicopter had to come from the aforementioned Narrow Margin footage. Jeff Fahey and Gary Daniels should’ve been cops who team up to bust some heads. It could have been like the classic years of PM and really cool. Instead, they came up with this muddled jumble of Homie Movie/drama/thriller/DTV actioner and it doesn’t really work.

Despite the presences of some of our favorite names, and the backing of a great company, No Tomorrow is a disappointment.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Final Reprisal (1988)

Final Reprisal (1988)- * * *

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Gary Daniels, Protacio Dee, Glazia Herradura, and Jim Gaines

In the heat of battle during the Vietnam War, Sgt. David Callahan (Daniels) along with old buddy and fellow soldier Charles Murphy (Gaines), among other members of an elite squad, stage a daring attack on the home of Vietnamese Captain Tran Van Phu (Dee). Things go horribly wrong when Van Phu’s young daughter Mai (Herradura) is senselessly murdered during the raid. Vowing revenge, Van Phu gets his wish when, five years later and now working as a trainer for the Thai military, Callahan has a family of his own. When they are mercilessly slaughtered, Callahan gets really mad and teams back up with Murphy so he can, at long last, get his FINAL REPRISAL. However, it won’t be all cut and dry, as some mysteries from the past begin to resurface…

Here we have some prime early Gary Daniels in only his second-ever film role – and it delivers the goods! Director Teddy Page rarely disappoints (here he’s credited as Tedd Hemingway; note the second “d” in Tedd), and the Page-Daniels alliance – working in the great year of 1988 and in a prime location, the Philippines – is indeed a recipe for success. Daniels’s skill and athleticism as a Martial Artist is on full display, and he’s as likable as ever. This is remarkable as he maintained these qualities throughout his career. He’s teamed up with Jim Gaines, who has had an amazing career of his own: Besides Final Reprisal, he was in Cop Game, Mannigan’s Force, Strike Commando 2, Jungle Rats, Robowar, and the rare Daniels debut The Secret of King Mahis Island – and that was just 1988!

Daniels and Gaines have a definite Crockett and Tubbs thing going on here. Miami Vice was super-hot at the time, and the clothes the two of them wear are a dead giveaway. Interestingly, Daniels’s first-ever screen credit was as “Male Stripper” in an episode of ‘Vice called Walk-Alone in ’86. Only two short years later, he was living the dream as a white-suited Crockett-esque lead. And while James “Sonny” Crockett was a Vietnam vet, Miami Vice didn’t feature Crockett mowing down baddies with a machine gun, going through “revenge training”, enduring the Prerequisite Torture as well as a torture montage. ‘Reprisal also contains killer fight scenes, as well as the classic guard tower falls and exploding huts.

While our heroes are most definitely fighting the commies, Final Reprisal offers an unusually sympathetic look at the other side of the coin. You feel bad for Van Phu and his daughter. This gives the movie a dimension you don’t often see. As a whole, Final Reprisal is a lot better and more entertaining than the much more well-known Missing in Action (1984). The whole outing starts with a bang and the viewer remains satisfied. It’s hard to ask for much more than that. Plus, we get a lot of the silenced-gun “pew” sound effect. This is to be distinguished from the “pew pew!” laser effect. A short, curt “pew” indicates a shooting done on the sly. We get a feast of them here, if there are any fans of that out there.

Puzzlingly, Final Reprisal never received a U.S. VHS release (and, as of this writing, has no U.S. DVD or Blu-Ray editions). This is a real shame, as it could have been a video store-era classic, and it could have raised the name recognition of Gary Daniels back then. It would have been perfect for video store shelves of the day. Thankfully, it does exist, and fans of Gary Daniels and/or 80’s action have a winner on their hands with Final Reprisal.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Misfire (2014)

Misfire (2014)- * 

Directed by: R. Ellis Frazier

Starring: Gary Daniels and Vannessa Vasquez

Cole (Daniels) is a DEA agent searching the mean streets of Tijuana, Mexico in search of his kidnapped ex-wife. He believes the drug cartels have something to do with her disappearance so he goes after the baddies involved. Helping him out is a beautiful woman named Gracie (Vasquez). That’s pretty much it. Will Cole and Gracie fight the bad guys, rescue the girl, and win the day?

You know how in movies and TV shows, when cops or doctors have to go to the family of someone who died, and they say something like “it never gets any easier” or “this is the part of the job I hate”, while having grave, unsmiling faces? Well, this is how we feel right now. As much as we love Gary Daniels, and we desperately WANTED to love Misfire, we - regrettably - have to deliver the bad news. It’s just not very good. We hate...well, hatred on the internet and we try not to be a party to it, so, we’ll just say what we have to say in as kind a way as we can, and we’ll try to back it up with all that we have, and, presumably what you’re reading this for: our opinion.

We love that fan favorite Gary Daniels is still working, and he has to get in where he fits in, as it were. But fans of his want to see him do Martial Arts, and/or be charming during dialogue scenes. Both are minimal in Misfire. Daniels does do some stuff towards the END of the movie. Bad move. He should have fought more goons and done it from the get-go. Instead, the pace of the movie is odd and lopsided, with a bunch of yak-yak and extended scenes of shirtless men walking around. Then a few limp, lazy action scenes break out (starting with a fruit cart foot chase), but the whole thing just feels OFF - and slow. 

It lacks edge, focus, drive, and a strong, super-evil villain. The cumulative effect of this is that it feels like nothing much of value is happening, and the viewer gets annoyed. 

It appears director Frazier doesn’t know what to do with Mr. Daniels. He didn’t use him to his maximum potential, or even close to it. I’m surprised they’re teaming up again after this for future projects. The real problem is, this movie isn’t exciting or fun. There’s no sense of high-stakes action/adventure. It feels rote, with no “Yes!” moments. And there’s one blow-up. ONE. Listen, we couldn’t care less that it’s low-budget and has that sort of feel. Low-budget movies are the lifeblood of cinema. But if we compare it, just for fun, to a high-budget Hollywood movie, Fair Game (1995), Fair Game is a masterpiece, even though people make fun of it all the time. Because Fair Game knows what the audience wants and expects, and delivers it to them. Misfire did not do that. That’s the real problem here.

And just a note on the title. “Misfire” is a very modern-day - you might even say post-modern - title for an action movie. Almost like it’s ashamed of itself. Gone are the days of titles like Fists of Blood (1988), Triple Impact (1992), and Excessive Force II: Force on Force (1995), it seems. We need more strong, powerful heroes that aren’t afraid to snap some necks and blow up a few helicopters, not some guy in a nebbish voice saying “sorry ma’am, I’m afraid I had a misfire”. And we don’t want to hear any excuses on this, like we’re dealing with the dark night of Cole’s soul or something. No more ‘misfire’s.

Not to be too obvious about it, but we are forced to say it: Misfire is indeed a misfire. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Action Elite!

Fatal Blade (2000)

Fatal Blade (2000)- *1\2

Directed by: Talun Hsu

Starring: Gary Daniels, Victor Rivers, Kiyoshi Nakajo, Seiko Matsuda, LoriDawn Messuri, Jack McGee, and Cuba Gooding Sr.












LAPD cop Richard Fox (Daniels) finds himself caught in the middle of a Yakuza war as he tries to get to the truth about the death of his partner. While crime boss Bronson (Rivers) is able to run wild with his drug business because he has some dirty cops on the take, Japanese swordmaster Domoto (Nakajo) comes to town for his own reasons. At a certain point, those reasons intersect with Fox’s, and the two men from different worlds suddenly find they have more in common than they originally thought. Caught in the middle of all this are the women - Saemi (Matsuda) and Fox’s wife Linda (Messuri). Will Fox come out victorious - or will he end up on the wrong end of Domoto’s FATAL BLADE?

Fatal Blade is trying to be like a PM movie. This isn’t a criticism, necessarily; we wish more productions would at least try to hit the heights of the Gary Daniels three R’s of awesome: Rage (1995), Riot (1996), and Recoil (1998). The only problem is, PM doesn’t do “FM” - fast motion - and this movie does. So while it tries to do some car chases/car blow-ups in classic PM fashion, it commits the no-no of speeding up what fight scenes there are. You don’t NEED to speed up Gary Daniels. This was really annoying. There should have been more un-sped-up Martial Arts fights and less gun-shooting. Daniels even disappears for decent chunks of the running time. But when he is on screen, he has classic 90’s hair which we all love and enjoy.

While the movie is competently made, it doesn’t really reach the heights of other “East meets West” actioners like Red Sun Rising (1994), Sword of Honor (1996), American Dragons (1998), and especially all-time classic Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991). That’s because this came out in 2000, a death-time for DTV product. It even brings to mind the dud Double Deception (2001) at times. Things were just better earlier on in our nation’s history. Sure, it has a classic “Final Warehouse Fight”, some casual racism, a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top, and a guy screaming his head off as he shoots a machine gun, but we were somehow hoping for something that tied it all together a bit more.

We do give the movie credit for the good amount of scenes that are spoken in Japanese and have subtitles. This showed to us that they were serious and it helped things along. However, most of the English dialogue consists of people shouting “what am I paying you for!??!” The Gary Daniels revenge plot should have been streamlined and more hardcore. Just a few years on from The Quest (1996), we have a very different-looking Jack McGee doing not very much  and not being used properly...and is that Cuba Gooding SENIOR in a nothing role as a pawn shop owner? Not that we’re not happy to see him, but...WHY?

It also should be mentioned that a common phenomena in low-budget DTV product happens here: smaller-time actors are hired that look/behave like other actors (or should have BEEN other actors). For example, the guy that played Bronson also could have been Robert Patrick, Judd Nelson, Dean Cain, Frank Stallone, or Charlie Sheen during his “Charles Sheen” period.  And the guy that played Mitchell, the police Lieutenant, could have been James Russo, Ed Lauter, or...or maybe we just watch way too many movies. 

But we’re clearly addicted and can’t get enough - and we do it all for YOU, our lovely readers. We live to inform you about movies like Fatal Blade. If that’s a crime, then call Richard Fox and have us arrested. (See, the fact that we think Richard Fox is a real person pretty well proves our initial point).

Gary Daniels is credited as Associate Producer, as is frequent Daniels collaborator George Cheung, and it features the West Coast gangsta rap track “187” by a rapper known as G-Sleep. Despite all this, Fatal Blade really should have been better. To be fair, there are some threads of the movie that stand out, but it was lacking in other areas. This Blade should have been sharpened to a finer point.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy Cool Target!

Ultimate Target (2000)

Ultimate Target (2000)- * 

Directed by: Darren Doane

Starring: Gary Daniels, Michael Madsen, David "Shark" Fralick, and George Cheung

Thomas Kane (or is it Cane?) (Daniels) is a hitman. He works on sort of a “board of directors” of other hitmen and hitwomen. These hitpeople are overseen by their boss, a guy named Raymond (Cheung). It’s Raymond’s job to keep people like Uncle (Madsen) and Johnny (Fralick), among others, in line. 

Kane gets out of line when he begins double-dealing: he takes money from his intended victims as payment for sparing their lives. When the organization finds out about this, they get mad and send all their employees after Kane, thus making him the ULTIMATE TARGET. The only problem is, his wife Jody (Denier) and his daughter didn’t know about his profession and now they’re on the run from the baddies. Holing up in yet another dusty ol’ town, Kane prepares to take on the dangerous people he once worked with. But will he be successful?

We hate to be the bearer of bad news. I mean, we really, really do. It pains us to report that, after fifteen years of waiting to see this quasi-unreleased movie, we found that it was a disappointment. We understand that it was plagued with production problems and was swept under the rug, along with a lot of DTV product of that time (and a decent chunk of Michael Madsen’s career), becoming another casualty of the low-budget DTV downturn of the late 90’s/early 2000’s.  It was around this time that the DTV bubble went bust, and items like Ultimate Target make it easy to see why. Not only is it a Tarantino Slog (a term we coined), but, at this point in time, it’s safe to say that it’s also a Guy Ritchie slog. Let’s just say it hasn’t withstood the test of time.

We were truly excited to see one of our favorite actors, Gary Daniels, team up with Michael Madsen. Even the (unnecessary?) narration from Daniels’s character is helped along by his mellifluous voice. This is countered by Madsen’s gravelly voice, which is ALMOST enough to keep the movie afloat, but the only problem is that we hear way too much of their voices. 

In true Tarantino Slog style, this movie is extremely talky. We needed less talk, more rock. Characters gratuitously eat/talk about breakfast cereal, reminding you instantly of Eric Stoltz’s character in Pulp Fiction. There’s a ton of other yak-yak, and when we finally get to see some fight scenes, they are pulled and stretched in varying combos of slow motion and fast motion. As we have stated before, we really hate fast motion. Another thing we hate, bathroom humor, is also, sadly, here. Maybe the characters talked about everything else there is to talk about and finally reached the bathroom. Not good. Another strike. 

On the bright side, Daniels is good in the movie and tries against all odds to make everything work. Even when what surrounds him is weak, Daniels always remains watchable. The pairing with Madsen didn’t live up to its full potential, but Daniels was reunited with his old Deadly Target (1994)/Fistof the North Star (1995)/White Tiger (1996) co-star George Cheung. We have always admired Cheung and his impressive resume. But this whole outing doesn’t FEEL right. Almost like it wasn’t fully completed, which perhaps it wasn’t.  It’s all very similar to the comparable Double Tap (1997). In that particular T-Slog, Stephen Rea is the hitman, and the rest of the cast jabberjaws on about a bunch of needless topics. Please consult that review for a more in-depth analysis of the aforementioned Tarantino Slog.

In the end, Ultimate Target (AKA Ides of March, not to be confused with the Ryan Gosling movie of the same name, though it would have been cool to see Gary Daniels in Gosling’s role) proves definitively that characters walking in slow motion either with or without sunglasses is not enough to make a complete film. 2000 was just about he moment when the shorthand replaced the substance. Much like Hostile Intent’s beloved Pastebucket McWoo, the last thing we as viewers see, if you stick it out all the way to the END of the end credits, is this, and we quote: “2001 Giants Entertinment”. Yes, that’s right. They misspelled “Entertainment”. And doesn’t that say it all, really?

Comuppance Review by: Brett and Ty