Streets Of Darkness (1995)

Streets Of Darkness (1995)- * *

Directed by: James Ingrassia

Starring: Vincent LaRusso, Armand Cassis, Jerry Babij, Jennifer Cole, Patrick Barry, Christine Jackobi and Peter Gaines as Fat Sal 

Danny DeStefano (LaRusso) is a young (?) street tough who has just finished his jail bid and returns home to the STREETS OF DARKNESS - Miami, Florida. He makes a vow to himself to go straight, but after his mother is assaulted by a Cuban drug lord named Hector (Cassis), he gets sucked back into the underground world of gangsters and crime, especially after mob boss Carlo Farello (Babij) likes the cut of his jib and wants Danny to come work for him full time. Danny asserts his independence as whatever he is (a contract killer?), but things get complicated when a love triangle blossoms between Danny, the boss's daughter Tina (Cole), and a woman inexplicably named Diabolique (Jackobi). After certain people get whacked, Danny has to decide what to do with the rest of his life. Will he walk the straight and narrow, as represented by Father Shea (Barry), or will he continue down the road of gangsterism, as represented by Big Tony, Fat Alex, and Fat Sal?



Danny DeStefano/Vincent LaRusso does not like sleeves. He steadfastly refuses any extraneous cloth on any part of his arms. At a more formal social function, he wears a collared sleeveless shirt. His toughness as an ex-con and gangster is undercut somewhat when he wears a neon pink, button-down tanktop with the buttons unbuttoned, with a necklace. All this when he's not shirtless. We could talk about Danny's wardrobe all day, but suffice to say that Streets of Darkness is a labor of love from writer/producer/star Vincent LaRusso. It takes a lot of cojones to make your own version of The Godfather trilogy, Goodfellas (1990), and Scarface (1983) with no budget whasoever, shot on video, that runs 107 minutes. We give him and director James Ingrassia, and all the cast and crew, kudos for actually pulling that off and getting the movie into stores and streaming services.



Despite the title, box cover, and the image of LaRusso shirtless (naturally) with a gun, this is not an action film. It is a gangster drama - dare we say epic? - that plays by its own rules. Streets of Darkness was a film caught in time in between two poles. By 1995, it was too late for Miami Vice, but too early for The Sopranos. The movie was a victim of its own timing, and has elements of both swirled up in its SOV stew. In the last scene of the film, Danny is dressed as pure Crockett, with a pale blue T-shirt under a white jacket (one of the only times in the 107 minutes where sleeves are extant, perhaps it's a sign of Danny's character arc), but there are also a panoply of gangster characters like the aforementioned Big Tony, Fat Alex, and Fat Sal, among others, which presages The Sopranos. LaRusso was either after his time or before his time. Maybe both. Plenty of underlit scenes prefigure Boardwalk Empire and other "no lights" movies and TV, so maybe we can err towards the latter.


While we appreciate LaRusso's ambition, the film has serious pacing issues. There's a scene where Danny and Diabolique go to see a Gipsy Kings-esque concert and stay there. The dialogue is also unbelievably repetitive. Danny says almost everything at least twice. The runtime of the film would be 50 minutes if he only said things once, like a normal person. He starts every sentence he says in the film with either, "Let me tell you something", or "Listen carefully", and ends every sentence with, "You understand me?", which is by far his most repeated line of dialogue in the film. He's constantly asking everyone in sight if they understand him. This could be representative of Danny questioning his place in the world and looking for meaning in a chaotic universe. Or it could be that Danny is an inarticulate, unlikable lout. You be the judge.


That being said, we do appreciate that LaRusso seemingly thought that this was his big chance - his moment in the Miami sun, if you will. So he gives it his all, cranking up the intensity of his performance to Tom Cruise-levels, perhaps in the thought that this film could be like a demo reel for a potential Hollywood career. It seems his life didn't pan out that way, but that's okay. We have Streets of Darkness, and that's enough.


A late-stage highlight occurs when the aforementioned Fat Sal (Gaines) arrives. He steals the movie with his bizarre voice and mannerisms. It seems like he may be trying a Marlon Brando impression. He either succeeds or fails, it's impossible to tell. Streets of Darkness would probably have been a five-star movie if Fat Sal was the main character instead of Danny DeStefano.



Streets of Darkness has a homemade, local feel to it that will appeal to some but turn away most. Again, it's not really an action film but a few elements are there. It's too long but there is nudity and a synthy score, which helps. More than anything, it is a showcase for Vincent LaRusso, a time capsule of 1995, and an exemplar of the alchemy of the shot-on-video revolution meeting the ambition of a man whose reach exceeded his grasp.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Stanger (1995)

 

The Stranger (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Fritz Kiersch 

Starring: Kathy Long, Eric Pierpoint, Danny Trejo, Ginger Lynn Allen, Nils Allen Stewart, and Andrew Divoff

In one of those dusty ol' western towns, a mysterious STRANGER rides in on her Harley. Known only as The Stranger (Long), she is looking for Angel (Divoff), the diabolical head of the local biker gang. Because Sheriff Gordon Cole (Pierpoint) is afraid of the bikers, they've slowly but surely proliferated in the small town. After noting that The Stranger looks exactly like a certain fiancee that was killed by the bikers, she then proceeds to get her own brand of personal revenge. If time allows, she'll also help some of the locals. But will the biker baddies - including Jonesy (Stewart) and Hawk (Trejo) - feel the wrath of some truly STRANGER things?


Kathy Long, from Rage and Honor (1992) and Under the Gun (1995), finally gets her own starring vehicle here, with The Stranger. People have said that it's a low-budget High Plains Drifter (1973) knockoff, but the Spaghetti Western-styled soundtrack would indicate that it's also influenced by the European Westerns that came decades before. It's also quite close in tone to Hell Riders (1984), or the type of thing that AIP was releasing at the time. You almost expect Rocky Patterson or Joe Estevez to pop up at any moment.


As for the cast that is here, Kathy Long is an appealing leading lady and this is clearly her moment in the sun. The Stranger certainly has no problem beating up the baddies. There actually should have been more of that. Ginger Lynn Allen was also a nice addition to the ensemble, and you know Nils Allen Stewart's character is evil because he has a threatening rattail. A young Danny Trejo rounds out the more familiar B-Movie names we all know and love.


The problem with the film is that the plot is so simple and minimalistic, it's hard to stretch that over 90 minutes or so. Without the addition of further plot twists or developments, or more action scenes, the energy really starts to flag around the halfway mark. Director Fritz Kiersch, known for his initial pair of 80's classics, Children of the Corn (1984) and Tuff Turf (1985), at first seems to be having fun with this small-scale film and its tough female lead. But perhaps he began to lose interest or something, because the second half lacks dynamism.


While it's certainly better than something like Lone Hero (2002), The Stranger doesn't seem to warrant its current status of "rare and sought-after movie". It's an easy fix: there should have been more concentration on Kathy Long beating up/killing people, perhaps in more locations than this one small Western town. What you do get of that is pretty great, But the film itself needed a shot in the arm after a certain point.


In the end, The Stranger is a worthwhile one-time watch, but we think that's about it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Kickboxer 5: Redemption (1995)

 

Kickboxer 5: Redemption (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Kristine Peterson

Starring: Mark Dacascos, Geoff Meed, and James Ryan

When an evil former kickboxer from South Africa named Mr. Negaal (Ryan) decides to form his own kickboxing association, it puts the entire kickboxing world in turmoil. With a mostly-inexplicable burning, seething hatred against all the other associations, the ruthless Negaal demands that all the best fighters join his group - or die. This hits home for Matt Reeves (Dacascos), a fighter with a heart of gold. It seems that the Negaal organization has senselessly killed off David Sloan, the man audiences had come to know and love in the prior sequels. So, of course, Reeves travels to South Africa to get justice. Along the way he meets fellow fighter Croft (Meed) and the two men finally go after Negaal. Much like if you turn in your bottles and cans at the bottle return, they're looking for REDEMPTION.


Kickboxer 5 has some good things going for it. First and foremost is Mark Dacascos in the lead, who is very likable. That goes a long way, especially when facing off a very bad, "boo-hiss" baddie like Negaal, who is very well-played in Billy Drago-esque fashion by James Ryan. So right there we have two things that a lot of movies of this ilk don't have - a good good guy and a bad bad guy.


Dacascos shows he has some great and very acrobatic fighting moves, and Ryan shows range after being the hero in Kill or Be Killed (1976) and Kill and Kill Again (1981). Other characters of note include Reeves's mentor and old salt Chalky, not to be confused with Rocky's Mickey or Hercules in New York's Pretzie. Reeves's sidekick Croft looks like a more bulked-up Vanilla Ice, and Negaal's henchman is a dead ringer for Christopher McDonald. Naturally, there's a fight in a warehouse, which is a movie highlight, and there's a decent amount of local South African color.


So that's all good, but even with its very fair 87-minute running time, things start to drag at times and the pacing is all over the place. One minute you're having a grand old time, the next it's slow as molasses. Still, it's an improvement over director Petersen's prior film to this, the disappointing The Hard Truth (1994). At least here, there are moments of action and excitement. And a training sequence that features very intensive neck exercises. Don't worry, they're very important.


Sure, the plot - especially as it relates to former characters Kurt Sloan, David Sloan, or Tong Po - doesn't make much sense, but, hey, it's the fourth DTV sequel to Kickboxer, so whaddaya want? When looked at in that light, it's a bit better than it has any right to be.


Despite some of the slowdowns, we recommend Kickboxer 5, especially to fans of the series. It's better than the latter-day sequels, if nothing else.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

Striking Point (1995)

Striking Point (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Thomas Fenton 

Starring: Chris Mitchum, Rocky Patterson, Stan Morse, Tracy Spaulding, Jeff Blanchard, and Ivan Rogers

When the evil Col. Ivan Romanov (Mitchum) attempts to flood the streets with new, high-powered weaponry and make a huge profit in the process, Dallas detectives Joe Morris (Patterson) and Nick Harris (Morse) snap into action. Perhaps due to the fact that Romanov is flanked by his own Trenchcoat Mafia of goons, Morris gets shot and John Burke (Blanchard) becomes Morris's new partner. Of course, Captain Matthews (Rogers) wants answers. To unravel the mystery, they first head down to the local strip club and ask Tina Wells (Spaulding) for help. Wells fears for her life and is afraid to talk. So Morris and Burke must go it alone in their quest to take down Romanov and his acolytes. Will they miss their mark? Or will they hit their STRIKING POINT?




Imagine, if you will, a cross between Cop-Out (1991) and Miami Beach Cops (1992). If that comparison makes no sense to you, just try to imagine a very low budget effort with some ups and downs. The opening scene involving Chris Mitchum and some homies doing a gun deal gone wrong is very, very funny. You would think (and hope) the rest of the movie would continue on in this vein, but it doesn't.




While there are some silly shootouts and blow-ups, at about the halfway point the film stops dead in its tracks as our two heroes sit on the couch, smoke cigarettes, and discuss their lives. It goes on for an inordinate amount of time. Finally there's an action scene (and one of the better ones), then it's right back to the couch. It goes on for so long, it will remind you of a play with one simple backdrop, like Waiting for Godot. In this case, it's more like Waiting for Action.

Later on, there are even more scenes like this, including an extended climax in the time-honored warehouse, with a pure-black, "Charlie Rose Show" background that seemed to turn up again and again in lower-budgeted efforts like this one.

Chris Mitchum didn't seem to put much effort into his "Russian" accent, with amusing results. One of his lackeys continually said "Da", to remind us, the audience, that they are indeed Russian. While Jeff Blanchard as Burke is reminiscent of former talk show host Craig Kilborn, we would have liked to have seen more Rocky Patterson.




While the film was not directed by Bret McCormick, it was produced by him, and it includes some of his stock company, if you will. Notably the aforementioned Patterson, and Tracy Spaulding, who was in his Armed For Action (1992) with Patterson. Here she plays the world's most listless stripper. Maybe she was down in the dumps because she had just appeared in the dire The Deadly Secret (1994). Both Armed For Action and The Deadly Secret featured Joe Estevez. This movie needed Joe Estevez.

But we got Ivan Rogers, who has become a fan favorite over the years. For the first time (at least for us) he's bald in the film, which gives him a sort of Montel Williams vibe. But his trademark soft-spokenness remains.




In the sound department, while the dialogue can be quiet and muffled in that way that DTV movies from the era tended to be, at least there's some sax on the soundtrack, as well as a catchy end-credits song (that should have appeared in the movie during a training sequence, as we always say) called 'The Majic of Pain' by a band called Crawfish.




While this is the only directorial effort to date for Thomas Fenton, he did go on to have a good career in Hollywood, it seems. Apparently people were impressed with a man with Striking Point as his calling card. Released on VHS by Cabin Fever, Striking Point may appeal to those with a taste for mid-90's under-the-radar DTV efforts, but it does have some issues.




Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Live Wire: Human Timebomb (1995)

 

Live Wire: Human Timebomb (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Mark Roper

Starring: Bryan Genesse, J. Cynthia Brooks, and Joe Lara

Parker (Genesse) is your classic wisecracking FBI Agent. While not afraid to shoot or blow up things and get in the middle of the fight, he quickly becomes embroiled in U.S.-Cuba relations on his latest assignment. In the middle of groundbreaking trade talks between the two countries, a woman named Gina Young (Brooks) approaches Parker about her brother, who is being held prisoner in Cuba. Seeing as Parker just took down some dastardly drug dealers from there, the two head down to rescue him.



Seems like a rather straightforward mission, but the only problem is that the evil Price (Lara) has injected a newfangled computer chip into several fighters from around the world, turning them into his own personal army. Parker himself has been implanted with the chip along with them, and he has to fight against not just the baddies, but his own identity as well! Will he be able to fight the baddies, rescue the Young family, and save a much-publicized trade delegation from a...you guessed it...a HUMAN TIMEBOMB? Well, It's really just a guy in what we might call today a suicide vest, but it sounds a lot cooler to call the whole thing LIVE WIRE: HUMAN TIMEBOMB. Will it blow up in Parker's face? Or will he save the day after all? 

LIVE WIRE: HUMAN TIMEBOMB is probably the best Bryan Genesse film we've seen to date. Around this period he seemed to be one of Nu Image's go-to guys, and here he finally gets a showcase for all his talents. He gets to be the smart-aleck FBI agent on the one hand, and a ruthless killing machine on the other. It's more or less a dual role. Plus, he gets in on a lot of action throughout the course of the movie. There's a lot of blow-ups, shooting, and fights, and Genesse is there for almost all of it.

It all starts out with one of the more explosive Drug Deals Gone Wrong we've seen in some time. We know they don't usually go right, but this one provides more firepower than usual. And who wouldn't be intimidated by that guy on the right? I'm scared just looking at him now, and this is a DTV movie from 1995. Imagine seeing him in real life. 

While the idea of a chip (everyone's looking for the "other" chip in the movie - apparently there are two of them) that can turn already-vicious bad guys into supersoldiers is a good idea, and there is a lot of commendable stunt work throughout the film, around the hour mark things slow down considerably. It would have been hard to keep up the slam-bang pace of the opening sequence.

The Bryan Genesse-Joe Lara fight in the kitchen at the end was the fight we've all been waiting for, and it's a good one. It was enjoyable to watch these two duke it out. It was nice to see J. Cynthia Brooks get in on the action, as we'd last seen her in Coldfire (1990). She was a welcome addition to all the Genesses and Laras we know so well.

Director Mark Roper is no stranger to the site, as he's been behind the camera for several Gary Daniels films that we've enjoyed. The movie was shot in Roper's native South Africa, and it was his first action movie. He improved with his series of Daniels outings, but LWHT is a more than respectable opening salvo. His main error was making the running time 98 minutes. If the movie was shorter, it would have helped things along a bit better. 

Interestingly, in some places this is known as Live Wire 2: Human Timebomb, presumably a sequel to the 1992 Pierce Brosnan movie Live Wire. In other territories, it is not a sequel. It's just a movie with a cool title. In the end, however, LWHT stands on its action scenes. They're well-executed, but seemingly the plot can't withstand the 98-minute running time. With a little editing, we'd be dealing with something outstanding. As it is, it's good. Better and worse movies would come from Both Genesse and Roper, but this one is entertaining enough.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Broken Bars (1995)

Broken Bars (1995)- * *

Directed by: Tom Neuwirth

Starring: Benjamin Kobby, Joe Estevez, Donald Gibb, and Wings Hauser








At Trabuco Federal Prison in Los Angeles, bad stuff is goin' down. A corrupt warden named Pitt (Wings) forces the inmates to Punchfight for his own amusement. If they agree to do this, he rewards them with in-cell delivery of prostitutes, strippers, drugs, and, presumably, cigarettes. He's helped along in all of this by his C.O./henchman, Mr. Jake (Gibb). If anyone disobeys Pitt in any way - including refusing to Punchfight - he spikes their heroin with poison and tosses them away.

Wanting to get to the bottom of the goings-on in Trabuco, Jack Dillon (Estevez) of the F.A.C.T. special ops division (don't ask what it stands for, as it was never said...or if it was, we missed it) sends in his best man: Nick Slater (Kobby). The taciturn Slater then proceeds to either fight or make friends with a series of stereotypes...er...I mean, inmates, until the eventual final showdown with Pitt. Won't anyone reform our criminal justice system?

Broken Bars is nothing if not a parade of men with questionable hair punching the snot out of each other. If that's what you're after (and why wouldn't you be?) then this is the movie for you. An alarming amount of the prison population in 'Bars is ponytailed and shirtless. Or some combination thereof. There are more ponytails per capita in this movie than in an episode of My Little Pony.

All that being said, Broken Bars follows the prison-Punchfighter template pretty much to the letter with no surprises in store. Bloodfist III (1992), Death Warrant (1990) and In Hell (2003) are classic examples. Van Damme is usually involved in some way.

Wings, as he usually does, brings a lot of charisma and command to his performance, and he tries mightily to save an otherwise bog-standard outing, as our friends from the UK might say. With his military uniform and close-cropped blonde hair, he really made us see how much he looks like Guile from Street Fighter. Surely not coincidentally, that's yet another Van Damme connection. 

Fan favorite Donald Gibb also stands out as a cast member who is trying. But, as Death Warrant had a clear-cut evil baddie like The Sandman, and Broken Bars has no such character, it starts to flounder a bit without that focus.

The production company Gun For Hire was behind both this and Enter The Blood Ring (1995), and we noticed some similarities between the two films. Both starred Benjamin Kobby and both featured a ringleader character of some sort who sits in a chair and watches people punchfight. 

In this case it's Wings Hauser, in the other film it's Robert Z'Dar. Evidently, the people at GFH thought this was an incredibly winning formula, but as it turned out, Broken Bars and Enter The Blood Ring are two of the rarest Punchfighters of the 90's. 'Bars barely eked out a VHS release here in America on the York Entertainment label. 1995 was a banner year for Gun For Hire, though.

It's all very much like an episode of Renegade - a ponytailed hero rides into our lives on his motorcycle while blues guitar wails on the soundtrack. There's also the Prerequisite Torture of the hero, among other clichés we all know and love. We do credit the filmmakers for adding some gratuitous female nudity, because without that, we'd be looking at an all-male cast for 95 minutes, and they must have figured that wouldn't go over well with what is probably an all-male viewership.

Broken Bars certainly won't win any points for originality (except maybe for the title, which we're still trying to figure out), but as a semi-lost video store artifact, it has some value. The only problem is that it struggles to hold our full interest for the entire running time. Those two factors pendulumed back and forth for us, as it surely will for you too.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (1995)

Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (1995) - * *1\2

Directed by: Jonathan Winfrey 

Starring: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, Jillian McWhirter, Eb Lottimer, Rick Dean, and Steven Williams

Jim Trudell (Don) is a mysterious drifter who wanders into a local biker bar. After being harassed by the clientele, naturally a barfight ensues and Stephanie Williams (McWhirter) is impressed. She leaves with Jim and they get a hotel room for the night. When he wakes up, she's gone, as is his car. Surely frustrated as all get-out, he goes to L.A. to try to track her down, but soon gets accidentally embroiled in the nefarious schemes of the baddies. With Captain Doyle (Williams) hot on Jim's trail, along with certain other less-savory members of the force, Jim has to summon all of his "particular set of skills" to survive on the streets until he can clear his name. With the police, the FBI, and gangs of toughs all out for Trudell's blood, will he ever survive the MANHUNT?

The cops have a stand-up Neo-Geo arcade game in their break room. Dude! The cops have a stand-up Neo-Geo arcade game in their break room. In 1995. That must have cost like ten thousand dollars. I really want to join the LAPD. They’re not just fighting crime – they’re Virtua fighting crime.

So, Don is on the run and it's nothing at all like The Fugitive (1993). No similarities whatsoever. Never mind that it was a recent box-office hit and that the Corman factory made it their business to do low-budget versions of big Hollywood blockbusters. What we all need to realize is that Don is his own man. In this case, he's being hunted. Hence, Manhunt. 

Like most of the later Bloodfist sequels, this is really its own movie and not connected to any of the others. It was also released as simply Manhunt, which makes more sense as there's no underground fighting that the Bloodfist appellation would indicate. When the fights do occur, they're a lot of fun to watch, but they're more few and far between than you might think. The scene in the park is a standout, with Don shooting guys with wildly colorful shirts with a machine gun. There should have been more scenes like this one.

But it's not all punching and roundhouse kicks to the head. There's a serious message here as well. For a while, Trudell has to hide out in a dumpster. Apparently he's there for a long period of time, until the guy taking out the trash shoos him away, calling him a drug addict. It really shows the plight of our nation's homeless. Then more face-kicking swiftly ensues.

Steven Williams plays Captain Fuller -- sorry, Captain Doyle, and he's a much better than average BYC. For one thing, he's not trapped behind his desk like most of the others are. He's out on the street in the manhunt for Trudell. Stephen Quadros, unrecognizable here as the guy from Shock 'Em Dead (1991) even though it was only a few years before this, plays not just another guy with a snappy wardrobe. He looks a lot like Kevin Bacon this time around. We've heard of fakin' bacon, but this is ridiculous. There are a lot of other B-Movie names on display, such as Eb Lottimer, Rick Dean, and Jillian McWhirter, who did a lot of low-budget action movies in her day, notably Last Man Standing (1995).

Director Jonathan Winfrey (presumably no relation to Oprah) was hot off of one of our favorite titles - but not one of our favorite movies - Excessive Force II: Force On Force (1995). He does a competent job, and, like most Corman movies, the running time is on the shorter side. Meaning there isn't really time to get truly bored, but a bit more action and a bit less running around might have helped things a bit.

On the brighter side, the soundtrack is a standout, ranging from hard rock to funk, but there are no credits saying who did the songs. There are no Bloodfist soundtrack albums as of this writing, but someone should at least compile a "Best of Bloodfist" for those that enjoy the music from the series. I think collectors would appreciate that.


In the end, Bloodfist VII: Manhunt is enjoyable enough, but it isn't really exceptional in any way. There are enough decent moments to keep it afloat, but don't go in expecting fireworks.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum, Cool Target and DTVC!

Terminal Impact (1995)

Terminal Impact (1995)- * * *

Directed by: Yossi Wein

Starring: Frank Zagarino, Bryan Genesse, and Jennifer Miller

Saint (Zags) and Max (Genesse) are Federal Marshals and also roommates (?) who get more than they bargain for when they cross paths with a newscaster named Evelyn Reed. While investigating a shady robotics company called Delta Tech, she takes a valuable microchip and the Delta boys want it back. 

Fortunately for them, they're in the business of creating unkillable killbots that kill. So Saint, Max, and Evelyn go on the run, and meanwhile there is a lot of shooting and blowing-up of things as our trio of heroes fight the evil cyborgs. Or androids. Or whatever they are. It all comes to a head in a junkyard where man and machine meet in the ultimate test...and that's just Frank Zagarino! We kid, but...who will be feeling the TERMINAL IMPACT?

You might be surprised at how enjoyable Terminal Impact actually is. I know we were. That's because this film seems to get a lot of negativity online, and the first 35 minutes really aren't all that great. But once you get past that rocky first third, things change for the better - fast. 

Miraculously, there's an almost complete turnaround from stupid and dumb to wonderfully stupid and dumb. We love to see that, as it almost never happens. We give the filmmakers a lot of credit for righting the ship like that.

At said 35-minute mark, this is what heralds the sea change: a shirtless Frank Zagarino is cooking in his kitchen while atonally and tunelessly crooning along to the radio while using an upside-down baseball bat as a microphone. It's unquestionably the movie's highlight.

In addition to that, we get a career-best (at least from what we've seen) performance from Genesse. He's got energy and sass, and, of course, a leather vest. The two guys have good chemistry together. Miller, as the third part of their trifecta, is nice to look at but her line deliveries are somewhere between Leo Fong and Don "The Dragon" Wilson in the "it sounds like I'm not just reading - but flatly reading - my dialogue" department. But it's all in good fun. 

It's a buddy action/comedy with some light sci-fi elements. It's almost a bizarre cross between Robowar (1988) and Drive (1997), but is nowhere near the class of those two. I wonder where the screenwriters got the idea for a human-like super-robot that's searching for a woman? We haven't seen anything that blatant since Termination Man (1998).

Like the movie itself, the score is not very good until it reaches a certain point - in this case, the car chase. Overall, the blow-ups are of good quality and the stuntwork is especially notable, highlighted best during a showstopper during the parking lot battle. You'll know what we mean when you see it. 

While it takes place in Iowa, but was shot in South Africa (as many Nu Image movies were at that time), we couldn't help but notice that the headquarters of Delta Tech in the film was at Fairfield University - which is the name of a real college in Connecticut. We know, it gets a little confusing, but other things to note are the healing powers of the robots are pretty cool and the main baddie has a great voice and he looks like Anthony Michael Hall. That, and Zagarino's singing voice, of course.

We can only surmise that anything negative said about the film is based on its first third, which is, admittedly, not great. Sure, it's not the most intelligent movie in the world overall, but you don't go to a Frank Zagarino-Brian Genesse film made by Nu Image if you're looking for cutting intelligence.

If you can get past the rather uninspiring beginning, you will get into the spirit of Terminal Impact.

IMPORTANT ADDENDUM: While one of the alternate titles is Cyborg Cop III, there are no cyborg cops in the film.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and Cool Target!

Enter The Blood Ring (1995)

Enter The Blood Ring (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Tom Oliver

Starring: Benjamin Kobby, Robert Z'Dar, Robert Chapin, Rod Kei, T.J. Storm, and Malibu

After the death of his wife, Punchfighter Luke Genera (Kobby) is struggling to take care of their son, Adam. Sadly, Adam has a brain tumor and Luke's day job as a cab driver isn't making ends meet, so he fights in underground Punchfighting matches at night. His goal is to save up enough money to move from L.A. to Australia because they're working on an experimental new treatment for tumors there. When gangster/fight promoter Sal D'Angelo (Z'Dar) announces a tournament where the winner walks away with $500,000, Luke trains like he's never trained before. Will Luke come out victorious after he decides to ENTER THE BLOOD RING?

Enter The Blood Ring appears to be one of the lesser-seen entries in the Punchfighting genre, at least here in America. It seems its low-budget origins ensured that it didn't get much penetration into the marketplace, even though video stores were hungry for this sort of thing at the time. You'd think that the presence of Malibu alone would guarantee it would be on every video store shelf in the U.S., but unfortunately that didn't turn out to be the case.

Star Benjamin Kobby (AKA Ben Maccabee) puts in a very Steven Niijar-esque performance. While he does tend to mumble (and have an accent), the audience warms to him because he has a likable personality and he's not fighting for personal or monetary gain, he's doing it to save his son's life. 

Apparently this was based on a true story, but is that itself true? We may never know. He also wears a suede vest and no shirt, and that is something we do know for sure. The fact that he's a likable cab driver/fighter drawn into the world of L.A. gangsters will inevitably draw comparisons to Lee Canalito and The Glass Jungle (1988). 

One thing The Glass Jungle doesn't have - or any other movie that we can name, for that matter - is a gangster who looks like Jerry Seinfeld but speaks like Marlon Brando. This very unusual and jarring combination of traits is something you just have to see. His scenes with Z'Dar are quite bizarre (or should we say B'Zar?) 

Further setting itself apart from others of its ilk, ETBR has these interstitial black and white bits where different fighters are being interviewed. There's a subplot about a writer named Thompson who is writing a book about underground fighting, so he goes around with his video camera conducting interviews. Interpolating this "mockumentary" into the main thrust of the film was a nice idea and it helped to move things along. It almost could have been a full movie unto itself.

There's the classic sax on the soundtrack and the classic wailing guitar on the soundtrack - sometimes these things are much louder in the sound mix than the dialogue, which seems to have been recorded quietly. But, any sound issues aside, the chance to see Ben Kobby, Malibu, Robert Z'Dar, Robert Chapin of Ring of Steel (1994) fame, Rod Kei of Ring of Fire (1991) fame, and T.J. Storm of The Ultimate Game (2001) fame all together is surely worth your time. (Storm and Chapin also starred together in Dragon Fury, for those keeping track at home).


For some classic mid-90's Punchfighting, do check out Enter the Blood Ring.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Equal Impact (1995)

Equal Impact (1995)- * *

Directed by: Jon Steven Ward

Starring: Joe Gates, Jay Gates, Nikka Bailey, Krist Geriene, Robert Z'Dar and Joe Estevez

Dave Conner (Joe Gates) and Josh Conner (Jay Gates) are twin brothers who also just happen to both be Tae Kwon Do experts. During their latest Martial Arts competition, they run afoul of evil Tae Kwon Do man Bobby Souk (Geriene). Souk may be a malevolent mulleted muttonhead, but he’s the least of the Conner brothers’ problems. It turns out that criminal mastermind Donald Moss (Estevez) is using Souk’s dojo as cover for his counterfeit ring. 

After a brawl in an alley with the Moss gang, Josh Conner takes some of the counterfeit money from one of the baddies. Now Moss is hoppin’ mad so he kidnaps not just Dave Conner (come to think of it, isn’t he a character on Roseanne?) but also Josh’s new love interest – and potential Bobby Souk bride – Alison (Nikka Bailey). Just when all seems hopeless, help arrives in the form of the mysterious and taciturn Ray Tobin (Z’Dar). Will our unlikely allies, as well as the baddies, both put forth an EQUAL IMPACT? And who will come out victorious?

We know we say this a lot, but where are the McNamara brothers when you really need them? Just when you thought the stars of Twin Dragon Encounter (1986) and Dragon Hunt (1990) had cornered the market on low-budget, twin-based kicking and punching, along come the Gates brothers. They seem downright plain by comparison. Even their names, Joe and Jay, seem lackluster. That being said, we’ll do our best to get over our pro-McNamara bias and try to be objective here.



As far as the quality level, try to imagine a cross between Radical Jack (2000) and Warrior Of Justice (1995). Some people may call it amateurish just because its budget is low and it isn’t structured very well. These same people might note that the lighting, sound, and acting are also not the best. But we choose to point out that there is entertainment value to be had with Equal Impact. There are some definite “laffs” along the way.



For example, not only does the movie feature the aforementioned twin brothers, but the baddie looks exactly like them. Why they cast yet another skinny Tae Kwon Do nerd who looks exactly like the supposed heroes is inexplicable. Add to that the poor lighting and the viewer quickly is seeing triple. They could have called the movie Triple Impact but that title was already taken. And yes, apparently there is such a thing as a Tae Kwon Do nerd. If you’ve never seen one, watch Equal Impact. You’ll soon see three. And you can’t even tell who’s who by their voices, because all of them have soft, reedy, non-intimidating pipes that wouldn’t even cause a mouse to flee away from them.



Naturally, the whole thing ends with a classic Final Warehouse Fight, and earlier on in the proceedings we get to witness one of the silliest barfights we’ve seen in years. They should really give out awards for these things. Maybe we could do it and call them “The Actionies”. Equal Impact could at least be nominated in many categories, and very well could win “Silliest Barfight”.



Of course, Joe Estevez and Robert Z’Dar are on hand as well. Hey, a job’s a job, and these guys clearly like to work. They seem not to be influenced by how small a film production may be. I guess if the price is right, they’ll appear. We’re happy they’re here, because they raise the interest level pretty considerably. Even though Z’Dar does more smoking and drinking than talking this time around, we remain big Z’Dar fans and will watch the movies he’s in with as little prejudice as he has when choosing his roles.



Because it was the 90’s, the whole thing ends with a wussy song. Gone were the days of driving AOR anthems to pump you up on the soundtrack. That was a strike against the movie, but the biggest problem with Equal Impact is its 108-minute running time. Why, why, WHY is this movie so long? Even glossy Hollywood blockbusters often fail to justify a movie with that length. What hope does Equal Impact have? What were they thinking? Because it has a bunch of funny/entertaining moments, if it was trimmed down to 80 minutes, we would be looking at a gem. As it is, it’s pretty overlong.

It should also be noted that, according to the credits, Flight Choreography is by a man named Edgar Bailey. Let’s put it this way: The Blue Angels are nowhere in sight. Nor is any aircraft. We’re pretty sure they simply misspelled the word “Fight”. Not a good sign for an action movie. 

As stated earlier, Equal Impact does contain some entertainment value, but it should have been shorter. It was also in dire need of some Steven Nijjar. But, then again, what movie isn’t?

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Demolitionist (1995)

The Demolitionist (1995)- * *

Directed by: Robert Kurtzman

Starring: Nicole Eggert, Richard Greico, Susan Tyrrell, Randy Vasquez, Heather Lankencamp, Bruce Campbell, and Rosey Brown

In the future, Metro City is overrun by crime. While Mayor Grimsbaum (Tyrrell) attempts to make herself look good in the midst of this epidemic, most of said crime seems to be masterminded by the Burne Brothers, Mad Dog (Grieco) and Little Henry (Vasquez). 

On the eve of their electric chair execution, Mad Dog escapes and reconnects with his old gang in the city. Undercover cop Alyssa Lloyd (Eggert) infiltrates Mad Dog’s gang, but is recognized and then assaulted and left for dead. However, thanks to Professor Jack Crowley (Abbott), Alyssa is regenerated and then put into a nifty skintight black Kevlar suit. After singlehandedly lowering the Metro City crime rate, Alyssa Lloyd is rechristened “The Demolitionist”. Though, to be fair, if you’re looking for buildings to be demolished, Alyssa isn’t really your gal. Anyway, the final battle between The Demolitionist and Mad Dog inevitably materializes…who will demolish who? Or…whom?

Starting with the obvious, The Demolitionist is a low-budget cross between Robocop (1987) and Darkman (1990). Or, more in our wheelhouse, it’s better than Robo-C.H.I.C. (1990) but not as good as Cyclone (1987). We believe the Darkman comparison is especially apt, because director Kurtzman – an associate of Sam Raimi thanks to his being the “K” in the KNB EFX group and having worked with him in the past – really seems to be Raimi’ing himself in here. Perhaps the closest comparison, really, is to Raimi’s short-lived M.A.N.T.I.S. TV series. The Demolitionist has a very similar plot to that, but instead of Carl Lumbly in the super-suit, it’s Nicole Eggert. 

Further comparisons could be made to Barb Wire (1996) and Point of No Return (1993), but that’s just it: there’s almost endless movies we could compare The Demolitionist to. Lack of originality in a comic-book movie like this isn’t, alone, such a bad thing, but The Demolitionist is missing the wit and sense of pacing that a Raimi movie has. We have to wait a long time for her to really become “The Demolitionist”. 

On a more positive note, the idea of Nicole Eggert as a supersoldier who wants unending revenge on her enemies is a strong one. She walks away slowly from an explosion, which is good, and her Revenge Outfit is pretty cool, but are her guns so high-powered they cause a pinkish chalkdust to arise from her targets? What’s that all about?

One of the best things about this movie is the cast. It’s chock-full of B-movie names we all know and love, and there’s even a cameo by, you guessed it, Bruce Campbell. As if the Raimi comparisons needed further enhancing. It would take too long to list everyone involved, but one Rosey Brown as Big Frank steals the movie despite his brief appearance. 

As much as we enjoyed watching Nicole Eggert take on this type of role, we can’t help but wonder what would have happened if PM made a movie like this and cast Cynthia Rothrock as the heroic avenger in the shiny black suit. We can only imagine the result would be stronger than this, because The Demolitionist has a junky look to it that does it no favors. It really shows what a low budget DTV product this truly was, but that should have been easily sidestepped by the cast and behind-the-scenes makeup dudes who masterminded this whole misadventure.

Featuring the end-credits song “Demolition” by Paul Blubaugh, sadly The Demolitionist will never boast an endless series of sequels, a TV show, a toy line, a comic book, and mass-market pop culture appeal. We assume that’s what the filmmakers were going for, but it’s missing a certain “it factor” that would cause it to be the latest superhero sensation. But, then again, not everything can be a Green Lantern (2011).

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Body Count (1995)

Body Count (1995)- * *

AKA: Codename: The Silencer

Directed by: Talun Hsu

Starring: Robert Davi, Steven Bauer, Sonny Chiba, Brigitte Nielsen, Cindy Ambuehl, and Jan-Michael Vincent

“It’s the 90’s!” – Eddie Cook

Eddie Cook (Davi) and Vinnie Rizzo (Bauer) are not just two of New Orleans’s finest, they’re also best buddies. But their jobs are about to get a heck of a lot more challenging now that Makato (Chiba) and his partner Sybil (Nielsen) have come to wreak havoc in the Big Easy. Makato is a sly and crafty hitman and expert marksman. We as viewers know this because he has a special assassin hat. Further complicating the lives of Cook and Rizzo is the entrance of their new supervisor, Special Agent Janet Hood (Ambuehl). Will Makoto and Sybil’s killing spree ever end?

Body Count is yet another victim of what we call the Lone Tiger Effect. For those who don’t know, this is when a movie gets a great cast of B-movie faces together and you think you can’t lose as a viewer – and then you do. Perhaps it’s a classic case of “too many cooks”, but despite the stellar cast, Body Count just doesn’t deliver the goods. 

That’s not to say there aren’t some high points – someone walks away from an explosion in slow motion, Davi and Bauer have good chemistry together, and there’s a very impressive PM-style car flip/explosion. There should have been more moments like these. Additionally on the plus side we have a competent, classic-90’s video store look and some nice New Orleans locations. This includes, almost apropos of nothing, a stereotype Southern Sheriff. But the movie doesn’t really hook you in, and the pacing seems off. The police station has a poster for The Terminator (1984) right there in the squad room, so it shows the local cops have a nice sense of décor.

As for the cast (besides the aforementioned fan favorites Davi and Bauer), we have Brigitte Nielsen, who was given a much meatier role in Mission of Justice (1992). It was nice to see that Sonny Chiba was all over the movie and not just in a small role. He got to show off his physical prowess and had a bunch of great outfits to boot. Jan-Michael Vincent had a glorified cameo, and even in a small role appeared a little tipsy. Ambuehl, last seen in Dark Breed (1996) was primarily eye candy despite the fact that the scriptwriters attempted vainly to make her more than that. 

The problem is that the movie isn’t wacky enough or different enough – it’s just kind of standard fare. You’d think the cast could make more out of the material, but even they can’t really pull that off. Comparable movies about a Japanese-American crime-ridden culture clash include Red Sun Rising (1994) (better than Body Count) and Double Deception (2001) (actually worse than Body Count). 

Featuring the song “All Woman” by Mark Ferrari, Body Count left something to be desired.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Red Line (1995)

Red Line (1995)- *1\2

Directed by: John Sjogren

Starring: Chad McQueen, Dom DeLuise, Michael Madsen, Jan-Michael Vincent, Roxana Zal, Corey Feldman, Robert Z'Dar, Julie Strain, and Chuck Zito

Jimmy (McQueen) is an auto mechanic and part-time stick-up man who uses the cars people drop off to speed away in after he finishes his petty heists. Despite the disapproval of his boss, Jerry (DeLuise), Jimmy ends up working for crime boss Keller (Vincent) as a driver. 

While doing this, a series of events occurs: He discovers the truth about Tony (Feldman) and Crystal (Strain) – the brother and wife respectively of rival crime boss Mr. Lawrence (Madsen), and he also gains possession of a special Corvette with a surprise inside. Even though Gene (Z’Dar), one of Keller’s goons, is on his trail, Jimmy manages to go on the run with Gem (Zal), who is escaping the clutches of her abusive boyfriend Dick (Zito). Is any of this making sense? Or, when it comes to seeing this movie, will you be drawing a RED LINE in the sand?

The Lone Tiger effect, as we call it, seems to be something we can never escape. Any time we see a cast list of this many B-Movie faces, it draws us in and proves impossible to resist. Yet again, sadly, we were disappointed. Despite the star power involved, Red Line just isn’t that…well…involving. 

One of the bright spots was the brief appearance of Dom DeLuise, who is just too talented to be hemmed in by a dire production like this. The supposed hero, Jimmy, is an unlikable criminal and he’s the guy we’re supposed to be rooting for? Evidently Chad McQueen thought so, as not only was he the star, he’s also credited with stunt driving, casting, and producing. He was really involved with this project, and while, on the whole, it’s probably a better movie than Money to Burn (1996) - produced by and starring a lot of the same people – it’s not as funny as MTB. But it’s about as dumb, so that equation doesn’t really work out well in the viewer’s favor. Most of Chad’s shirts have sleeves this time around, so it looks like our Chad is finally growing up. 

Jan-Michael Vincent’s grotesque appearance – apparently the result of a real-life car accident – only helps his character, but it’s all pretty unpleasant. Chuck Zito’s line readings are pure gold, and the presences of Robert Z’Dar and Julie Strain are always welcome. Even Joe Estevez and none other than Ron Jeremy have cameos. Corey Feldman wears a silly jacket and holds his gun sideways. Roxana Zal plays the inexplicably pretty car wash girl. What drew all these people to be in this substandard movie? Maybe director Sjogren has a lot of charisma. Frankly, we’re surprised Ian Jacklin isn’t involved. 

Ron Jeremy plays a gardener whose name is Gardner. So, that’s the level of intelligence on display here…but did you expect anything else going in? We, as viewers, have to wait a whopping 63 minutes until we get to Michael Madsen to be in the mix of this broth. But really, there are no surprises on show with Red Line. It’s a very long 90 minutes. It’s similar to Sjogren’s Strip N’ Run (2000), also starring Madsen.

There should have been scenes of Chad McQueen beating up the many goons the crime bosses send after him, or some such action setpieces. But aside from some driving stuff and a few mild blow-ups, the action factor is low. Just imagine No Man’s Land (1987) but with no Charlie Sheen, nothing really interesting happens, and there are boom mike shadows on the walls. This could have been a really easy fix: make the hero likable and give him goons to fight. Boom. Better movie. But no, sadly, Red Line opts for the stupider road less traveled (that’s less-traveled for a reason). 

In the end, despite the stellar cast, Red Line stalls out.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Street Law (1995)

Street Law (1995)- * *

Directed by: Damian Lee

Starring: Jeff Wincott, Douglas O'Keefe, Paco Christian Prieto Jonathan Fisher, and Christina Cox

John Ryan (Wincott) is a Toronto-based lawyer. He’s also very adept at kickboxing/Punchfighting. Unfortunately, Ryan’s life is about to come crashing down all around him. He owes $78,000 to a loan shark named Larry the Lender (O’Keeffe), and, whether through his own actions or because of outside forces, he just may lose his prestigious job, his swanky apartment, and everything else he holds dear. When his childhood friend Luis Calderone (Prieto) – now a criminal baddie - buys Ryan’s debt, besides creating strife between the two men, it opens up the only possibility left to Ryan: fight in underground Punchfighting matches to pay off his debt and restore his honor. When Luis’s girlfriend Kelly (Cox), who is basically his kept woman, gets involved, things get REALLY complicated. Will John Ryan win back his own life…and will he use STREET LAW to do it?

Not to be confused with the fantastic 1974 Franco Nero movie of the same name (AKA Il Cittadino Si Ribella), this particular Street Law is yet another disappointing Damian Lee movie that isn’t worthy of the talents of the great Jeff Wincott. Sure, Street Law opens with a lot of promise: Wincott cruising down the streets of Canada on his Harley, wearing cool shades, with both his long hair and the fringes of his buckskin jacket blowing in the breeze. It’s even narrated by Wincott. Soon, however, this promise is squelched.

For no real reason that we can discern even now, we then cut to a scene of Wincott prancing around the forest wearing nothing but a loincloth. Apparently it has something to do with a native-Canadian named Grey Feather (Fisher), who also is only loincloth-clad. Once the actual plot kicks in, there are a lot of dialogue-heavy scenes with unlikable characters the audience doesn’t care about. As much as we may love John Ryan’s lawyerings, we couldn’t help but long for better Wincott outings such as Mission of Justice (1992) or Last Man Standing (1996). Almost all of the fight scenes are officially-organized bouts in the ring (wherein the winner, after defeating his opponent, has to capture a flag tucked into the ceiling above the ring for no real reason) – this is contrary to what the title STREET LAW conjures in your mind.

There are a lot of unnecessary zooms and slo-mo sequences in said fight scenes. Just let Wincott and the other fighters do their thing. Don’t muddy the waters with a bunch of cinematic techniques that just get in the way. And not for every scene, but for too many of them, there is a shotgun noise and a quick flash of light as a transition. Not only is this annoying and unnecessary, but Damian Lee did a similar thing in Fatal Combat a few years later (1997), where instead of a gunshot it was loud television static. And as much as we love Wincott, the movie needed another name, such as a Robert Davi or an Eric Roberts to spice things up. The final nail in the coffin is Wincott’s famed trademark of stickfighting is there in a literal blink-and-you’ll-miss-it two second blip. It looked like there might have been more stickfighting filmed but it was cut. So, put all this together and it’s kind of hard to care about the proceedings. 

However, it’s not ALL doom and gloom. Wincott’s buckskin jacket puts Seagal’s to shame, and he does have a cool long-hair-and-vest combo that is very 90’s and very winning. He also gets to show his acting range somewhat as a lawyer, although he did play a professor in the aforementioned Fatal Combat, a film which does have a lot of similarities to Street Law. Wincott does seem to throw himself into his role, and his Martial Arts are well-executed, but only a handful of moves are really used to their full potential. By far the high-water mark of the entire movie involves a bow and arrow, but we won’t give it away, because if you decide to see this muck, we certainly don’t want to spoil the unqualified best part for you.

Featuring the song “Undertow”, the title track of their 1994 self-released album by Canadian band Big Faith (Tool released theirs in 1993), among other songs by Big Faith, we would say that Street Law is for die-hard Wincott fans only.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

To The Limit (1995)

To The Limit (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Raymond Martino

Starring: Anna Nicole Smith, Joey Travolta, John Aprea, David Proval, Jack Bannon, Gino Dentie, Floyd Levine, Branscombe Richmond, and Michael Nouri















When a baddie named Arthur Jameson (Bannon), who is so evil he has the ability to blow up helicopters using nothing more than a CD-ROM flight simulator, crosses the wrong woman, Colette Dubois (Smith), all hell breaks loose. In order to avenge the death of her husband, China Smith (Nouri, presumably no relation to Anna Nicole), it turns out Colette must team up with Vietnam vet Frank Davinci (Travolta). While Davinci has enemies of his own, he also has a support system of fellow goombahs such as Elvis (Dentie), Don Williams (Richmond), and Father Rich (Levine). As an ex-CIA agent, Colette has skills of her own. Will the unholy marriage of mobsters and disgruntled ex-government officials prove too much of a challenge for Frank and Colette? Or will your patience be tested…TO THE LIMIT?



While watching To The Limit, you can practically hear the sound of whirring VHS tape as guys who were in their teens and twenties in the 90’s fast-forwarded to get to the Anna Nicole Smith nudity. However, as this is a PM-produced action movie, we tried to keep the action elements in mind, and there are plenty of gunfights, blow-ups (including not one, but two helicopters), and PM’s time-honored car flip/blow-up that has become so near and dear to our hearts over the years. PM had a pip of an exploitable element in Smith; sometimes, in our nation’s darkest days, Joey Travolta alone isn’t enough to get a potential renter to pull a movie off of a video store shelf. 



You have to remember it was the go-go 90’s, and renting To The Limit carried with it less embarrassment than renting a Playboy video (though that’s debatable). Interestingly enough, this is a sequel to Davinci’s War (1993), of all things. Anna Nicole’s PM follow-up, Skyscraper (1996), came the next year. A lot of the same cast and crew of Davinci’s War came back for this particular outing, and it’s easy to hear a variation of this phrase being said during a pre-production meeting: “we’ll produce your film if you put Anna Nicole Smith in it”. That may be just one of the reasons why this movie makes no sense in the plot department and is pretty much a jumble from start to finish. But it matters not – we would say that you would have to watch Davinci’s War or Skyscraper first or this movie would make no sense, but the fact is that it makes no sense whether you see those movies first or not.

Though it must be noted that Davinci has a Vietnam flashback where he runs from an explosion in slow motion, and it also must be noted that in the scenes where she wears a brunette wig, Anna Nicole looks alarmingly like Monica Lewinsky. In most of these scenes, she’s talking to Travolta, who looks like George Carlin. At least they have similar hair. Travolta and Carlin I mean. So if you’ve ever wanted to see what it looks like for Monica Lewinsky and George Carlin to have a conversation, now’s your chance. There’s also a guy named Philly Bambino in the movie (Aprea). They couldn’t even get Vanity to reprise her role of Lupe.

Of course, To The Limit makes no sense as a mishmash of Davinci’s War sequel/Playboy video/PM action movie, but you knew that going in, didn’t you? Finding a VHS tape like To The Limit at your local video store was all part of the fun of that era. Thanks to Amazon Prime (as of this writing), you can relive it.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)- * * *

Directed by: Geoff Murphy

Starring: Steven Seagal, Eric Bogosian, Katherine Heigl, Morris Chestnut, Peter Greene, Jonathan Banks, and Everett McGill

Casey Ryback (Seagal) is (ry)back in this sequel where the ex-Navy SEAL chef has to save the day again. In the last outing, it was a ship. Now it’s a train. When Ryback and his niece Sarah (Heigl) board a train heading from Denver to L.A., they naturally think they’re going to take in the sights and relax. 

Unfortunately, a psychopathic techie named Travis Dane (Bogosian) and his cadre of goons has commandeered the train. They’re using it as a mobile command station so they can hijack a satellite named Grazer, and ask for a billion dollars or else the Pentagon, and perhaps the whole east coast, will be obliterated. But the baddies didn’t count on one thing: the guy who’s “just a cook”, Casey Ryback. 

Teaming up with one of the train’s porters, Bobby Zachs (Chestnut), the two unlikely allies then proceed to take down the goons, slowly making their way to Dane. But will they save the hostages, Ryback’s niece, and a large swath of America itself? Find out, as you relive the ultimate Kitchen Nightmare!

Much like how a young Kevin McCallister must have felt in Home Alone 2 (1992), Casey Ryback must have thought, “I’m under siege…again? What are the odds?” Or maybe he’s under siege all the time and these are just the two instances we know about. Maybe he’s tired of being under siege all the time. While we could go further into a discussion comparing Macaulay Culkin and Steven Seagal and all their surprising similarities, just think about how Speed (1994) was on a bus, and Speed 2 (1997) was on a ship. As hijacked train movies go, the good news is that Under Siege 2 is better than Derailed (2002). The bad news is that no movie can hope to compare with the majesty that is Hostage Train (1997).

Seagal is backed up with a nice ensemble cast – Bogosian gets to ham it up as the diabolical baddie with the sweet typing skills, a young Katherine Heigl looks a lot like a young Candace Cameron (it was the heyday of Full House, after all, although to our knowledge DJ never threw a grenade at anybody), and Morris Chestnut puts energy into his sidekick role. 

Other B-movie names that you know and love, such as Peter Greene, Kurtwood Smith, Nick Mancuso, Brenda Bakke, and Patrick Kilpatrick fill out the supporting cast well, and it was especially welcome to see a pre-Breaking Bad Jonathan Banks in there. But only Seagal gets a triumphant musical swell when he first shows up on screen. 

90’s fans will especially appreciate the fact that people smoke indoors, even the most high-tech government computers look like someone using Mario Paint, and Seagal is armed only with an Apple Newton. Well, that and several guns, knives, grenades, and his fists and feet. But the Newton does play an important role in the plot, and this was back when most people didn’t hold Apple in very high esteem. 

Of course, all this great 90’s nostalgia has a flipside. If it’s possible, the movie has gotten stupider over time. What you remember fondly from back then may have soured in the intervening years. The dialogue is so repetitive, you could start watching at any point because the characters are constantly recapping what went on before, or restating what’s happening at that moment. And never mind the fact that a group of baddies take time out of their busy hijacking schedules to shoot a bunch of luggage with their machine guns. Why they felt the need to do this remains puzzling.

Under Siege 2 was notoriously cut to ribbons in the UK, so make sure to never buy any UK DVDs of the film. Watching a Seagal movie with the violent bits taken out is a bit like eating unflavored mush. Although it must be noted that while we are against the censorship, the BBFC director at the time was quite prescient and perspicacious when he commented that he didn’t like the “sadism” of Seagal’s violence. We’re impressed that he picked up on Seagal’s sadism so early on. We can only wonder what he would have thought of out-and-out sadistic crud like Kill Switch (2008).

Seagal n’ Smallwood only contribute one song this time around (usually they do at least two), “After the Train Has Gone”, and they even managed to rope in Gregg Allman for it. As for the movie itself, it remains watchable, but darn stupid. But, then again, if you wanted to watch something that wasn’t stupid, you wouldn’t be watching Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. The cast, the silliness, and the 90’s nostalgia make this train coast for the first 80 minutes or so, but then it starts to run out of steam. 

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett