Automatic (1995)

Automatic (1995)- *1\2

Directed by: John Murlowski

Starring: Olivier Gruner, Daphne Ashbrook, Jeff Kober, Marjean Holden, John Glover, Troy Evans, and Annabelle Gurwitch









In a future where stylish Cardigan sweaters are the norm, so are human-defending robots. When the latest-model android, J269 (the perfectly-cast Gruner) stops an attempted rape of Robgen company employee Nora Rochester (Ashbrook), and accidentally kills one of the bosses in the process, the CEO, Goddard Marx (Glover) calls in a bunch of mercenaries to put an end to J269, such as Major West (Kober) and Epsilon Leader (Holden - they didn’t even give her a proper name, sadly). So now Nora and J269 have to fend off their attackers, all while INN (groan) news reporter Gloria Takamatsu (Gurwitch) reports on things. Will Nora grow to love J269? Will he live to be robotic another day?  Find out, or something...

Oh, The Terminator (1984) and Robocop (1987), what hath you wrought? If the makers of those movies could have predicted the slipstream of DTV crud left in their wake, would they have made them at all? Well, probably yes, but here we go with another run-through of a bunch of stuff we’ve seen before collated into a new package and now called Automatic. Of course, the melange wouldn’t be complete without a healthy dose of Die Hard (1988), and we also have a pinch of Blade Runner (1982), a dash of Universal Soldier (1992), and it’s reminiscent of competitors like Class of 1999 II (1994), American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993) and Fortress (1992), but Fortress is better. And Fortress (not to mention Robocop, of course) actually have Kurtwood Smith, rather than the Kurtwood Smith lookalike on display here.

Let’s not kid ourselves here: this is a sci-fi slog. Yes, Olivier does some Gruner-Fu on the baddies, and that does help, and there’s some gun-shooting, but it all could have been so much better. Jeff Kober is wasted in what is a glorified sit-down role, and Marjean Holden is a far cry from the butt-kicking of Ballistic. Even Annabelle Gurwitch has nothing to do. The whole mercenaries versus robots thing could have worked, if only the filmmakers didn’t cling to tried and true cliches like a desperate man to a life raft. Go nuts! Break free! That’s what we were hoping for with Automatic. It doesn’t even have a Timebomb-era Michael Biehn to power things along. Instead, it all takes place in one building, for the most part, and they never turn any lights on.

That, perhaps, is the most infuriating thing about this and other movies of its ilk. It’s not hard to turn the lights on. This is the basics - it’s a movie. We’re supposed to SEE it. How are they not grasping this? Children’s movies and comedies are always well-lit. There’s no excuse. Maybe they’re trying to obfuscate its low budget, but that backfires because the whole no-lights thing screams “low budget”. Who cares if it’s low budget? Own it, don’t try to vainly hide it. And while the outing, as a whole, is overly talky, it’s good to see they predicted the rise of the Roomba by several years.

Automatic is typical 90’s product, which we’re usually in favor of, but there’s so much missed potential. Consequently, it holds a very loose grip on the audience, and surely was just another tape collecting dust on a video store shelf. And not entirely unjustifiably.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Unknown Movies!

Quiet Cool (1986)

Quiet Cool (1986)-* * *

Directed by: Clay Borris

Starring: James Remar, Adam Coleman Howard, Daphne Ashbrook, Jared Martin, Joe Sagal, Chris Mulkey, and Nick Cassavetes

Joe Dylanne (Remar) is an NYC cop on the edge who always gets his man. One day, he gets a call from his former girlfriend Katy (Ashbrook), asking for his help. It seems some of her relatives have disappeared and she wants Joe to investigate. He agrees, and he travels to a very, very rural town called Babylon somewhere in the Northwest (the movie doesn’t specifically say what state, but it was filmed in California). It turns out that evil marijuana growers and dealers are taking over the town, and Katy’s family ran afoul of them. The only survivor was Josh (Adam Coleman Howard). Now the city cop with the bad attitude and the rural survivalist boy must team up in order to get revenge on the baddies, led by Prior (Martin) and Valence (Cassavetes).

Quiet Cool is a highly entertaining and solid film that deserves more attention. God bless the 80’s, when movies like this were being made by the boatload. The only problem is, the quality was coming so thick and fast back then, it was hard to keep up and a lot of movies that should get more recognition fell through the cracks. That’s yet another reason why video stores are so important. Quiet Cool is one of those movies. It’s 80’s awesomeness through and through, from its sax-drenched soundtrack to its Western-style ending.

Remar is perfect as Dylanne, the guy that doesn’t go anywhere - ANYWHERE - without his motorcycle. He plays the country mouse/city mouse role but with an edge. He’s a law and order kind of guy, but realizes that these villains are ruthless and evil, and this is now the law of the jungle, or at least forest. His conversion to the ways of revenge will have you cheering. Howard as the boy who shows a surprising aptitude for killing people is a worthy foil. Cassavetes as Valence strongly resembles Elvis.

It’s important to remember that back in the 80’s, pot dealing was thought of as a much more serious threat than it is today. Now all the pot stuff you see is played for dumb laughs, so, when viewing Quiet Cool through 21st century eyes, you might say “what’s the big deal”, but that’s incorrect. You have to think back to Nancy Reagan and “Just Say No”. Here, the pot dealers are EVIL and that’s perfectly valid. In many ways, Quiet Cool resembles The Devastator (1985), but it had the power of the burgeoning New Line behind it, so it just has a more professional look.

Naturally, there is a title song, and this one’s very impressive. It’s rockin’, it says the name of the film, and is unbelievably catchy. “Quiet Cool” (the song) by Joe Lamont should have been a huge hit on the charts. Quiet Cool (the movie) has some good violence, and doesn’t waste a minute of your time. With a schedule-friendly running time of less than 80 minutes, there’s no excuse for not checking out this fine film.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett