The Swordsman (1992)

The Swordsman (1992)-* *

Directed by: Michael Kennedy

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Claire Stansfield, and Michael Champion













Andrew (Lamas) is a Toronto cop on the edge...the edge of a sword that is (yuk yuk). When archaeologist Julie (Stansfield) witnesses the theft of a sword thought to have belonged to Alexander The Great, not only does Andrew have to protect her, but he has to explore the seedy Canadian underground fencing circuit to find answers. Thankfully, Andrew is an accomplished fencer, so when he meets Stratos (Champion), a man who stages illegal underground fence-fighting tournaments to the death, he doesn’t stand out as a cop. Adding to all this is the prerequisite romance between Andrew and Julie, and the dreams Andrew has been having, which indicate who he may have been in a past life. Will Andrew be able to solve this “Gordian Knot” of complications? Find out today!

In the 90’s, fencing must have been huge, because there’s also Ring Of Steel (1994). Given the choice, we prefer Ring Of Steel to The Swordsman. One of the few things that stand out in this movie is Lorenzo Lamas’ amazing hair. It almost single-hairedly saves the movie. But sadly there’s more padding in this movie than in the fencing outfits of Andrew and Stratos. And at 98 minutes, there’s just too much filler. 

Probably the movie’s strongest idea occurs within the framework of the no-rules, 2-men-enter-one-man-leaves fencing duels. It’s primarily a swordfight, but it can end with an MMA-style takedown. That’s interesting. That idea should have been developed more, instead of some of the weaker stuff. Thus, the movie could have used a bit more excitement.

But everything Lamas does is cool - from his awesome fencing bandanna which stylishly protects his lovely hair, to the way he flicks on a lightswitch. Stansfield as his female foil provides the eye candy, and she was also in Best Of The Best 2 (1993) and Sweepers (1998). Director Kennedy is also responsible for Red Scorpion 2 (1994), so make of that what you will. While The Swordsman doesn’t really skimp on the swords, it’s a little on the slow side, making the “flashbacks to another age” - which will remind you of The Minion (1998) and The Order (2001), and of course Highlander (1986) - feel a bit odd. Adding to that is the preponderance of nude and seminude men (more than usual). It would be rather easy to see a gay subtext in this movie (you don’t have to be Freud to see the symbolism of “Swordfighting”...) What were they thinking?

The Swordsman is overlong and underwhelming. But there is a behind-the-scenes featurette on the Republic VHS tape, so be sure and check that out. If you could just see the featurette somewhere, it might save you some time. The Swordsman is really for die-hard Lamas fans only.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Private Wars (1993)

Private Wars (1993)-* * *1\2

Directed by: John Weidner

Starring: Steve Railsback, Dan Tullis Jr., Michael Champion, Holly Floria, Vince Murdocco Michael Delano, James Lew, and Stuart Whitman

Jack Manning (Railsback) is a cop who works the seedy streets of Hollywood. Because he plays by his own rules, he is kicked off the force for insubordination. After eight years, he has hit the skids and has become a raging alcoholic. He's also a private investigator. When the local 'hood starts being terrorized by the local hoods, Manning's old cop buddy Mo (Tullis Jr.) seeks his services. It turns out these aren't random street assaults, but a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top. The top being the prerequisite evil land developer Winters (Whitman). He's sending the aforementioned punks to drive out the locals because he wants the property. But can Manning clean up the community - and his own life - before it's too late?

Private Wars is pure PM enjoyability at its finest. It has all the classic PM stuntwork we all know and  love - whether the action scene in question has to be there or not. At the flimsiest setup, action ensues. You gotta love it. And the fact that it's all spearheaded by Steve Railsback makes it all the more interesting. Whether oddly cast as an action hero or not, try to imagine Anthony Perkins as a "I'm gonna clean up this town" - style sheriff who drinks heavily and inexplicably has almost superhuman fighting abilities and you might get the picture. 

Throw in a huge dose of The Annihilators (1985) and you have a comic-booky staple of the Fighting Back (1982)-style "Take the Neighborhood Back!" movie that was so prevalent at the time. And while Ronnie is the love interest with the Christina Applegate-like good looks, special marks must go to Dan Tullis Jr. as Mo. His wonderful performance steals the movie. It should also be noted that Michael Delano and Vince Murdocco are on board as well, which adds to the fun.

But the baddies are great too. Especially James Lew as Winters' bodyguard. But the street punks are so great - they strut around town with their boomboxes against their ear (I guess iPods have eliminated this practice) and listen to NWA-like rap music.

It's important to point out that there is a large dose of humor in Private Wars, as exemplified by the "mercenary casting" scene. You'll know it when you see it. It's definitely a highlight of not only this movie, but of the whole PM canon that we've seen to date. What's great is that, whether by accident or design, this movie is so outrageously unrealistic it's hilarious and a genuine treat to watch.

Private Wars deserves better recognition. It's entertaining, funny, and a good time will be had by all who see it. Who could ask for more?

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett