The Swordsman (1992)

The Swordsman (1992)-* *

Directed by: Michael Kennedy

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Claire Stansfield, and Michael Champion













Andrew (Lamas) is a Toronto cop on the edge...the edge of a sword that is (yuk yuk). When archaeologist Julie (Stansfield) witnesses the theft of a sword thought to have belonged to Alexander The Great, not only does Andrew have to protect her, but he has to explore the seedy Canadian underground fencing circuit to find answers. Thankfully, Andrew is an accomplished fencer, so when he meets Stratos (Champion), a man who stages illegal underground fence-fighting tournaments to the death, he doesn’t stand out as a cop. Adding to all this is the prerequisite romance between Andrew and Julie, and the dreams Andrew has been having, which indicate who he may have been in a past life. Will Andrew be able to solve this “Gordian Knot” of complications? Find out today!

In the 90’s, fencing must have been huge, because there’s also Ring Of Steel (1994). Given the choice, we prefer Ring Of Steel to The Swordsman. One of the few things that stand out in this movie is Lorenzo Lamas’ amazing hair. It almost single-hairedly saves the movie. But sadly there’s more padding in this movie than in the fencing outfits of Andrew and Stratos. And at 98 minutes, there’s just too much filler. 

Probably the movie’s strongest idea occurs within the framework of the no-rules, 2-men-enter-one-man-leaves fencing duels. It’s primarily a swordfight, but it can end with an MMA-style takedown. That’s interesting. That idea should have been developed more, instead of some of the weaker stuff. Thus, the movie could have used a bit more excitement.

But everything Lamas does is cool - from his awesome fencing bandanna which stylishly protects his lovely hair, to the way he flicks on a lightswitch. Stansfield as his female foil provides the eye candy, and she was also in Best Of The Best 2 (1993) and Sweepers (1998). Director Kennedy is also responsible for Red Scorpion 2 (1994), so make of that what you will. While The Swordsman doesn’t really skimp on the swords, it’s a little on the slow side, making the “flashbacks to another age” - which will remind you of The Minion (1998) and The Order (2001), and of course Highlander (1986) - feel a bit odd. Adding to that is the preponderance of nude and seminude men (more than usual). It would be rather easy to see a gay subtext in this movie (you don’t have to be Freud to see the symbolism of “Swordfighting”...) What were they thinking?

The Swordsman is overlong and underwhelming. But there is a behind-the-scenes featurette on the Republic VHS tape, so be sure and check that out. If you could just see the featurette somewhere, it might save you some time. The Swordsman is really for die-hard Lamas fans only.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ring Of Steel (1994)

Ring Of Steel (1994)-* * *

Directed By: David Frost 

Starring: Joe Don Baker, Carol Alt, Darlene Vogel, Henry Brown, and Robert Chapin



"Death Has Just Become A Spectator Sport."








Allez: Ring Of Steel is classier-than-average direct to video fare. Just imagine the structure of a classic punchfighting movie (see: pretty much everything we’ve written) but instead of punchfighting, it is sword-fighting. Well, to be perfectly accurate, it's more like “fence-fighting”.

Alex Freyer (Chapin) is on top of the world: He’s a champion fencer on his way to Olympic gold, and he keeps his many fencing trophies right on his coffee table in the living room. He just met his new girlfriend at a fencing tourney, and his mullet is lookin’ awesome in the cool breeze. His dreams are shattered when his bouton breaks and his riposte goes horribly, horribly wrong, and he accidentally stabs his opponent in the eye, killing him.

Alex is depressed and contemplates throwing out his fencing outfit for good. One day Alex is walking down a dark alley at night (bad idea) and is about to be mugged by some local street toughs. For some reason, Joe Don Baker shows up in his limo and announces “I’ve been following you.” Why Joe Don didn’t show up at Alex’s house is unknown. He invites Freyer and his girlfriend Elena (Vogel) to his underground fence-fighting club. Like Alex’s mullet, it is a business in the front and an illegal fence-fighting party in the back.


In true Lone Tiger (1999) tradition, the big boss man says the hero is “The Best” and then proceeds to groom him to be "The Best”. Isn’t he already "The Best"? After Alex does a few exhibition matches, Elena balks and doesn’t want him to fight anymore. Naturally the bad guys kidnap her and force Alex to participate in an arbitrary number of matches before they release her.

Can he thrust and parry his way to freedom?

The main fencing baddie is a meathead who wears a “shirtless shirt” and who has wide array of not “Cosby Sweaters” but “Cosby Vests”. Baker plays “The Man In Black”. That’s his name in the movie. Baker is a kinder, gentler sort of baddie and black is quite slimming. His bodyguard looks like a cross between Allen Kalter and Robert Loggia and he makes funny faces.


Other notable characters include an overweight LARP’er who dreams of being a barbarian (imagine a live-action version of “Comic Book Guy” from The Simpsons). He stumbles into the wrong salle, and he unfortunately gets slain in real life. Alex makes a friend in the theatrical fencer Brian (Jim Pirri). When Shirtless Shirt kills him, Alex grieves the only way he can: fencing practice.

In all comes to a head when cops get wise to the “Ring Of Steel”. The final confrontation is basically in the same steam factory from Cobra (1986).

This is Chapin’s first role and he is more a fencer than an actor. When his character is not pretending to be a pirate, he is doing fan favorite yell “Noooooooo!”

Shout “En Garde” while you are watching this movie tonight!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett