Kill Or Be Killed (1993)

 Kill Or Be Killed (1993)- * *

Directed by: Joe Straw

Starring: David Heavener, Joe Nuzzolo, and Lyn Levand

Michael and Charlie Julian (Nuzzolo and Heavener, respectively) are drug-dealing brothers who want to move up in the cocaine trade. When their latest deal is foiled by a police raid, Michael takes the rap and goes to jail for eight years. When he gets out, Charlie now has slicked-back hair, wears a suit, and is still a gangster baddie but is more "corporate" about it. A woman named Beth (Levand) is torn between the two men. During their latest drug deal, with a Korean gang called The Kim Brothers, a briefcase of money and coke goes missing. Charlie is understandably upset, which then paves the way for the final showdown. Who will KILL and who will BE KILLED?


As we all know, AIP stands for "Action International Pictures" - and while there is some gun shootin' in Kill or Be Killed (which is not to be confused with the 1976 film of the same name), it's really more of what you'd call a gangster drama. Our guess is that David Heavener probably liked working on this film because he gets to stretch his acting chops. But does the viewer really care?


It's no Prime Target (1991) or Fugitive X: Innocent Target (1996), or any other Heavener outing that has the word "Target" in the title. The more serious tone doesn't even allow for any of Heavener's patented country-fried musical numbers. It's hard to know what films KOBK was influenced by or what this was actually trying to BE. Most video store patrons who take home a VHS tape called Kill or Be Killed, which features a picture of Heavener with a gun, flanked by scantily-clad women encased in bullets (none of which are in the film, of course) are not going to be completely pleased with a slow-moving drama that sure as heck isn't going to give David Mamet any sleepless nights.


Except for the scenes when Heavener is clad only in a Speedo, everyone in this film only wears suits and ties, making it the original Suits. Or perhaps the AIP Glengarry Glen Ross. There are many, many scenes in offices and boardrooms. Or maybe it's only just one. It's tough to tell.

The film OPENS with a love montage, which is quite unusual. We'll give KOBK some points for originality there. Beth has fantastic hair, which can't be described but can only be seen. Michael looks like Mark Dacascos, the main police officer on the case looks like Jeff Goldblum, and other characters look like other people. An actor named Royce Dudley plays Jesse, and he is really the standout here. He really gives it his all. He should have done more, both in this film and elsewhere.



KOBK was directed by one Joe Straw, which sounds like a fake name. We wondered if he was a sort of cipher, or an American Eagle-esque "straw man". But no, he appears to be a real person. His main job in Hollywood was Production Accountant on many films. This and a film called The Intruder from the same year (1993) are his only directorial credits to date. Maybe because he was an accountant, that explains why there are so many boardroom scenes with suited men.



It does have that "AIP Vibe" so if you enjoy that, it is plentiful here. KOBK will most likely be too low budget and slow for most audiences. We've seen far, far worse, but simply an acting showcase for all involved lacks the hooks needed to pull in an audience, not to mention keep them there over time. That's why Kill or Be Killed will likely remain on the forgotten video store shelf of history. There are worse fates for your movie, for sure, but this status appears to be permanent.


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Rage Of Vengeance (1993)

 

Rage Of Vengeance (1993)- * *

Directed by: Serge Rodunsky

Starring: Peter Shane, Daming Chen, Tess Colonello, Lawrence Hill, Susan Raines, and Megan Miyahira

Frank Hill (Shane) is a former L.A. Cop On The Edge that now works in a convenience store. Hill resigned from the Force after a particularly intense confrontation with the dreaded local gang leader Tony Woo (Chen). During the dust-up, Frank inadvertently shot Woo's wife. This makes Woo understandably upset, so in retaliation he kills Frank's brother, and amidst all the chaos, his wife Sandy (Colonello) leaves him. So now all Frank does is shirtlessly practice his Martial Arts moves in his studio apartment by candlelight, and then use said moves on potential shoplifters and armed robbers at the convenience store.


Things start looking up for him when Sandy comes back into his life. She still doesn't totally approve of his Karate-choppin' ways, but it's hard to resist the charms of Frank Hill. He also develops a fatherly relationship with young tot Christina (Miyahira), daughter of the owners of the store. But when that dastardly Tony Woo kidnaps Sandy, and other things go sour as well, Frank Hill has no choice but to fight Woo's baddies in and around an abandoned warehouse until the ultimate confrontation is at hand: Frank Hill vs. Tony Woo. Will Frank Hill unleash his RAGE OF VENGEANCE?



It was 1993. Convenience stores were huge at that time. Where else could you go to get your Doritos, Cheetos, or Fritos that was within walking distance of your house? Maybe wash it down with some Snapple. Peach iced tea or strawberry-kiwi cocktail. It was your choice. And, if you were lucky, a man that looks like a cross between David Bradley, Jeff Speakman, and Michael Pare would be there to kick miscreants in the head if they were stepping out of line.



Speaking of Speakman, who we often speak about, Rage of Vengeance is sort of like a low-rent Street Knight (1993). Or perhaps if it had more of a budget behind it, this could have worked with Lorenzo Lamas in the Frank Hill part, with James Liu as the main baddie and Chuck Jeffreys as Hill's former partner. We didn't mention Rodney (Lawrence Hill) and his new partner, the pixieish Estelle (Raines) before now, but that's because it's mainly about Peter Shane as Frank.



Again, it may not have the budget behind it to put it alongside the likes of Showdown in Little Tokyo (1991), China White (1989), or Red Sun Rising (1994), and the awkward and slow-ish pacing doesn't do the film any favors. But the whole thing is classic 90's and does have some positives in its corner, but it's not zany like a Samurai Cop (1991), so you can't really recommend it to anyone who isn't already a fan of this sort of material.



Speaking of the positives, there is an extremely stupid (in a good way) train-tracks fight, and a lengthy final warehouse fight that is very much in keeping with the DTV action genre. As is the presence of a cute young kid, in this case Christina, who is played winningly by Miyahira. Shane is well-cast as Frank Hill, a man who makes funny grunting noises as he fights and asks questions later.


Director Serge Rodnunsky - not to be confused with Jorgo Ognenovski - has many DTV outings under his belt, including Jack of Hearts and Paper Bullets (both 1999), among plenty of others. It seems he's trying to compete with the action-film wave of the time, and almostsortakindajustabout makes it. It's a shame this was Peter Shane's only cinematic appearance. He could have had a future punching it out with the other guys of the day. For much of the cast, this was their only (or second-to-only) film.


In the end, if you like 90's action (we're guessing that you do), and you've seen all the other ones you could find, you could do worse than Rage of Vengeance. But newcomers to the genre may want to watch those classic offerings first.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ex-Cop (1993)

 

Ex-Cop (1993)- * * *

Directed by: Pat Kerby

Starring: Rick Savage, Sandy Hackett, Douglas Terry, Susan Paris, Joan Chamberlain, Angi Davidson, Gabriela Macs, and Richard Cornell

"You suck, news lady!" - Ronny Witherspoon

Pete Danburg (Savage) is a cop. He's not yet an EX-COP, we'll get to that a bit later. Danburg is described as "The Best" vice cop in the history of the Las Vegas Police Department. He's turned down offers to go to other departments because the vice squad is all he knows, according to him. He has a loyal friend and partner, Willy Latham (Terry), and they're after a razor-slasher named Ronny Witherspoon (Hackett) who is terrorizing the area. They eventually catch up with Witherspoon at the Lake Mead marina and shoot him, saving the life of Chance Tatum (Chamberlain), a news reporter undercover as a prostitute. However, in the course of this encounter, Witherspoon's straight razor, an integral piece of evidence, goes into the water.


Four years later, Danburg is now in his dream position - an EX-COP. Due to lack of evidence (apparently his whole case dependend on that darn razor), Witherspoon is paroled. He did not die in the shootout, he only has a limp - and a burning desire to get revenge on Danburg, Latham, and Danburg's daughter Tess (Davidson), a gymnast. Now that the evil slasher is back out on the loose, Pete Danburg sends Tess out to live on the ranch of his brother Stony (Cornell). This plan doesn't exactly work and Witherspoon kidnaps Tess. Now the stage is set for the ultimate showdown. The EX-COP vs. the baddie Witherspoon. What the heck is going to happen now?


Ex-Cop is a ton of AIP fun and is well worth seeking out. It has a rough-hewn charm that is all but absent from movies made these days. We applaud director Kerby and his filmmaking cohorts, who had the drive, wherewithal and guts to try to make a Dirty Harry/Charles Bronson film with essentially zero budget. In 1993. Thankfully, they went ahead and did it and it's a huge success.


A lot of this has to do with Rick Savage as Danburg. Everything he says is pure gold. He indeed could have been one of the "elder statesmen" of action. However, just to be clear, this is not the same man that did adult films, nor is it the bass player for Def Leppard. This Rick Savage is his own man. A REAL man. An elderly man. While it's never really explained why a man of his advanced age is still on the force, even before he becomes the inexplicably vaunted ideal of the Ex-Cop, this (and of course the romance he finds time for with Chamberlain) all predates the age confusion found in Righteous Kill (2008) many years later.


Naturally, the high brass of the LVPD want Danburg out because they claim he's a "Cowboy". There's a WYC that tells him this and they want him to turn in his badge and gun. Danburg also has a drinking problem and is disgruntled. Every other "Cop" cliche you could possibly imagine is here as well. Thank goodness. You have to get into the spirit when you watch Ex-Cop. Once you're in that spirit, wondrous things await you.


About an hour into the film, we get a Pete Danburg break, where he's not really around. This is the only real flaw here. The movie suffers when Rick Savage is not on screen. Also, Danburg's wife Cat (Macs) has a thick accent, presumably of some European origin, and it's hard enough to understand what some of the actors were saying, so this didn't help much and was never explained (not that Danburg's actions need explanation. He marries thickly-accented foreigners and asks questions later). Then the slasher menaces a prostitute named Lacie (Paris) for a while. Then Willy spends some time with his son, an infant named Willy Jr. Where's Danburg during all this? That's what the audience needs to know. That's certainly what we were asking.


Ex-Cop is very much in the same vein of the other AIP material being released by them at this time, such as Cop Out (1991), Extreme Vengeance (1990), and Burning Vengeance (1989). If these comparisons don't mean much to you, just translate it into this one word: FUN.


Sandy Hackett is Buddy's son. He's the only one in the cast who has any acting resume to speak of that we could find. All the others are first-timers and/or only-timers. So we are treated to the very awkward interactions and line deliveries of non-actors. But everyone here was trying. That's what makes all this so great.


This should be a cult movie. Much like another AIP favorite, Brutal Fury (1993), this isn't a horror movie, so it never developed a cult following. But both of these films should have. Vinegar Syndrome, where are you on these? VS released "Geteven" (1993), which, like "Excop", features the main title as one word, in quotes, on the screen. So it would be perfect for one of their releases.


A shredtastic guitar player named Troy Walls is credited with "Musical Scoring" for the film, and his band "Crisis" (their quotes, not ours) get three songs on the soundtrack. Their songs are catchy female-fronted metal and they should have opened for Doro. But what they do get is a live performance that takes place at the bar where Witherspoon finds Lacie. Much like Tess's gymnastics routines, we get to spend some time with them. Sure, those scenes are Pete Danburg-less, but they're still cool. They're a product of their time and place. Unlike Tess, and to the ultimate detriment of mankind, we don't wear skintight Body Glove shorts anymore. C'est La Vie, Pete Danburg. We hardly knew ye.


Just why the idea of Danburg being an Ex-Cop is dwelled upon so much in this film is never explained, but YOU should be dwelling on finding yourself a copy. It's a gem and it's downright delightful.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Full Contact (1993)

 

Full Contact (1993)- * * *

Directed by: Rick Jacobson 

Starring: Jerry Trimble, Marcus Aurelius, Denise Buick, Reginald VelJohnson, and Michael Jai White

Luke Powers (Trimble) is a self-described "farm boy" who journeys to the dark underbelly of L.A. to get to the truth about his murdered brother. It turns out that Luke's bro was heavily involved with "Alley Fights" (what we call Punchfighting). To achieve his goal, he links up with Pep (Aurelius), a fight trainer/alcoholic/Art of War quote enthusiast. Romance blooms with dancer Tori (Buick, whose only other feature film role is the same year's Angelfist). Will Luke be able to summon all of his POWERS to beat the baddies and find out what really happened to his sibling? And who is REALLY behind all this alley-fighing stuff? Make FULL CONTACT with your remote control and find out today...

Not to be confused with the prior year's Full Contact starring Chow Yun-Fat and Simon Yam, THIS Full Contact is a moment in time for fan favorite Jerry Trimble to shine. It all opens with textbook Punchfighting as enthusiastic fans scream, yell, and clutch cash in their hands as they enjoy said punching in an abandoned warehouse.

The whole thing has a very Corman feel, as he's done this plot numerous times before, i.e. Bloodfist, Dragon Fire, Bloodfist 2050, etc. There's also at least one scene in a strip club, which was a Corman trademark/obsession around this time period. Happily, we can report that Full Contact is one of the better run-throughs of this plotline. There's plenty of sax and synth on the soundtrack, there's ridiculously stupid dialogue (in a good way), wacky situations, and punching, punching, punching. Characters, mainly Trimble, jumpkick their opponents in slow motion as they just stand there waiting to be kicked in the head. Somehow, against all odds, this all gels in the world of Full Contact.

Trimble is great as he resembles a melange of Emilio Estevez, Sean Penn, and Kirk Douglas. Tori's initial dance routine is gold, and when she meets Luke Powers, both of them are clad head-to-toe in denim and they have long blonde hair. It's clearly a match made in 1993 heaven.

It starts to run out of steam when the tournament fighting begins about two-thirds of the way through, but we do give Full Contact full credit because they actually bothered to include a twist towards the end, which a lot of similar films never actually do. There's also the time-honored barfight. Plus, there's an utterly ridiculous stick fight near a dumpster, and Powers's main training goal is to outrun a city bus with a wacky bus driver.

Director Rick Jacobson, no stranger to this sort of material, also worked as a fight coordinator on the film, and has a cameo as "Bar Heckler". Early appearances from Michael Jai White and Reginald VelJohnson round things out nicely. VelJohnson plays "Fighter #2", so if you've ever wanted to see Carl Winslow engaging in illegal alley fights, now's your chance.

The end titles song is "Sometimes You've Got To Fight", credited to no performer. The singer has an odd, quavering voice. Charles Philip Moore is one of the writers, who has a writer/director pedigree in the action field.

In the end, Full Contact is better than you might think. It's not intelligent, but it's entertaining. And that's the important thing.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC! 

Cyborg Cop (1993)

Cyborg Cop (1993)- * * *

Directed by: Sam Firstenberg 

Starring: David Bradley, Todd Jensen, John Rhys-Davies, Alonna Shaw, and Rufus Swart

Jack and Phillip Ryan (Bradley and Jensen, respectively) are brothers and renegade cops from Denver, Colorado. When Phillip travels to the Caribbean island of St. Keith, ostensibly to fight drug runners, he runs afoul of the evil Kessel (Rhys-Davies) and his goons. Because Kessel is a mad scientist, he's trying to create a master race of human-robot cyborg people, and Phillip is his latest experiment.


Jack arrives in St. Keith to see what's going on, and he has to fight his way through the place to get answers. Tagging along is the stereotypical female reporter/love interest, Cathy (Shaw). Kessel's ace in the hole is his prize cyborg, named...Cyborg (Swart), who is seemingly indestructible and looks like an angry, cybernetic Larry Drake. Will Jack Ryan overcome this clear and present danger to his brother? Find out today!


Cyborg Cop is a very entertaining movie and probably one of David Bradley's best. There's usually something of interest going on: if it's not an action scene, then it's something silly or other. In the end, Robowar (1988) is better overall, but that's Robowar, which is very hard to beat. Here, we get a robot Todd Jensen, who looks a lot like Data from Star Trek. Even though this is a Caribbean island and features plenty of reggae on the soundtrack, including the song "Reggae Party" by a band called Gecko Moon, there is a car chase with banjo music behind it like in one of those 70's 'Good Ole Boy' films. It's odd choices like that that keep the viewers' interest.


While David Bradley does wear an open sleeveless shirt at times, which asks the question of why you need a shirt at all, it should be noted that he - and this movie overall - is a pioneer in an all-new genre called "Fanny Packtion". This is where the hero never takes off his fanny pack, even during the most vigorous fight scenes. He may even have more than one, which he then coordinates with his outfit.


Naturally, you get some shootouts, car chases, a barfight, and a dirtbike-based ending which is quite memorable. The Cathy character is one of the more annoying reporters in recent memory. That is, until she falls for the irresistible charm of Jack Ryan. Or David Bradley. We're not sure which. Rhys-Davies is very Bond Villain-esque, complete with a command center, which any bad guy worth his salt has to have. He also has a robotic hand that hands him his telephone, which less bad guys have, so he's got that going for him.


There was also a scene at the medical examiner's office that featured a meathead with a blonde mullet. He should have had his own movie after this, or at least a larger part in the ensuing two Cyborg Cop sequels.


Cyborg Cop was made during the halcyon years of Nu Image, while they were still in South Africa and before they had moved their operations to Bulgaria. Director Sam Firstenberg is an action mainstay and he knows what he's doing here.


So, for a film fanny-packed with action, look no further than Cyborg Cop!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum! 

The Killing Device (1993)

The Killing Device (1993)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Paul McFarlane 

Starring: Antony Alda, Lee Gideon, Gig Rauch, Tom Berenson, and Clu Gulager 

We're told right off the bat that whoever has THE KILLING DEVICE will become the "sole world power" on earth. Naturally that means a bearded inventor named Bob Sloan (Berenson) and his partner, Dr. Jack Finney (Gideon). Both men are past middle-aged, and Finney looks exactly like our 34th President, Dwight D. Eisenhower. Their 'device' is a microchip with a long antenna that is inserted directly into the subject's brain. This causes them to be an emotionless killing machine who will murder on command, then kill themselves. The two men operate in the back of a dentist's office, where they implant devices (they have a lot of them) into people so they can commit political hits, and no one's the wiser.

After being told their secret government funding is going to be cut, Sloane and Finney go rogue. Soon thereafter, many U.S. Senators are found dead, and a newspaper reporter named Kyle Summers (Alda) gets a tip about the nefarious deeds of Sloane and Finney. He takes a killing device for himself, but then has to go on the run when he's discovered. Both Kyle and a woman named Sara Richmond (Rauch) are hiding out because they might be next on the hit list. But what does a politician named Smitty (Gulager) have to do with any of this? Find out today!


With a vibe like R.O.T.O.R. (1987) or perhaps a Mats Helge movie, The Killing Device is an undiscovered gem. It has a lot of fun political dialogue in between the wackier 'killing device' scenes, and it's a bit reminiscent of AIP's Lock and Load (1990), but The Killing Device is better. The boardroom fight scene towards the beginning is clearly a highlight, which is why they put the nameless soldier front and center on the VHS box art. It's a little misleading (because the guy with the gun isn't the main hero of the piece), but we see what they must have been thinking.


There are many unusual things about The Killing Device. One is that the Finney and Sloan characters are concentrated on heavily, and it's not often you see two older men capering around doing bad stuff as the main focal point of a movie. Another odd thing is that it appears certain scenes were just cut out, regardless of how that would affect the continuity or flow of what would follow. This adds to a very fun "lack of logic" feeling that is quite enjoyable and puts The Killing Device ahead of its more standard contemporaries.


The idea that our villains could put the killing device into anybody was an interesting idea. In one scene, they turn a seemingly-harmless old biddy into a ruthless assassin. It's scary to think anybody could be a killing machine.


Antony Alda is Alan's half-brother. He plays the news reporter/hunk, of course. Somehow Kyle falls in love with Sara, even though she wears what just may be the most unflattering outfit seen on film for quite some time. Clu Gulager - not to be confused with Eb Lottimer - shows up as Smitty, but he blends in with a lot of characters that look a lot like him. So we got Clu and Gig together at last. But the man who steals the movie is Gary Wayne Cooper as Rod, Kyle's friend and co-worker. We would have liked to have seen more from him.


Speaking of which, The Killing Device is the only credit for director Paul McFarlane, Gig Rauch, Tom Berenson, and of course Gary Wayne Cooper, and probably a lot of the other cast and crew. For many others, it's only one of two credits (including the writer Kliff Keuhl, who must be cool because it's Kliff with a K, and his last name is probably said as "cool").


Another thing in the win column is the music. Not only does it have an engaging score, it also features a very memorable title song (we always love those) by an artist named Andy Gravity, and a Georgia Satellites-esque rocker called "Messy World" by Nick Two Barrada.


While The Killing Device has a final release date of 1993, there is a copyright date of 1990. It has a very late 80's feel to it, so it was likely shot in 1989 or earlier. Another possible clue about that comes when we see that a side character (a TV news cameraman) is wearing a Genesis Invisible Touch tour shirt for '87-88. Regardless of the release date, the film itself is well worth seeing. Like Cole Justice (1989), it was shot in Oklahoma. There are plenty of "rewindable" moments and the viewer wins all around.


Released by VCI Home Video back in the golden age of video stores, The Killing Device clearly shows that when it comes to tracking down obscure VHS - and we must quote the highly appropriate tagline - The hunt is on!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Dead Center (1993)

 

Dead Center (1993)- * *

Directed by: Steve Carver

Starring: Justin Lazard, Rachel York, Eb Lottimer, and David Carradine

Joe (Lazard) is one bad dude. He's a career criminal with a bad temper. He pretty much fights or shoots everyone he sees. After an illegal art deal gone wrong (as opposed to the usual drug deal gone wrong), Joe is facing death row after he shoots some police officers. That's when the shadowy figures of Mary (York) and Sanders (Lottimer) enter the picture. They offer to mold this criminal lump of clay into a lean, mean fighting machine that pulls off secret assassinations for them. This may be starting to sound a little familiar to you at this point. So, after a period of extensive training, Joe is ready for the world. But after some conspiracies and some double or perhaps triple crosses occur, Joe doesn't know who to trust. Is it Mary? Is it Sanders? Could it be someone else? Looks like Crazy Joe may just have to hit his target DEAD CENTER if he wants to get out of this jam alive...

It has been noted before that Dead Center is pretty much the male version of La Femme Nikita (1990) or Point of No Return (1993). That is true, so that saves a lot of time in describing what the movie is. If you've seen those films, and want to see Justin Lazard in the main role, well, here ya go. He does a competent job and he looks like a lost Estevez brother. 

The main problem, however, is that the central character of Joe is not likable. The audience doesn't like him from the jump and that never changes. Despite all of his training and supposed transformation, he remains an unlikable jerk. There are also no other likable characters throughout the course of the film. So that made things tough going as far as the enjoyment factor is concerned, never mind trying to ferret out who to root for in all this. We would put in a vote for Ambassador Chavez (Carradine) but he's only on screen for maybe a minute or two. It's definitely a Carradine cameo. He gets slightly more screen time than Charles Napier in Center of the Web (1992). Carradine fans looking for a meaty role from the man will come away disappointed.

There are some beat-ups, some shooting, an abandoned warehouse/factory, and when the rollerblade girl appears in Joe's life, the time-honored sax duly appears on the soundtrack. The whole thing reminded us somewhat of The Contract (1999). Of course, for this movie some Cannon people are involved, such as Menachem Golan, and director Steve Carver, known to action fans for his Chuck movies An Eye For an Eye (1981) and Lone Wolf McQuade (1983), plus Dudikoff outing River of Death (1989). At least here in the U.S., the VHS was released on the Vidmark label.

Dead Center is a decent enough entry in the "let's take a bad person and train them so they become an assassin and then things go wrong" sub-sub-subgenre of action movies. However, nothing really stands out about it either, so we can't give it a wholehearted recommendation. But it's not too bad, so if you see it at Goodwill or someplace like that for 99 cents, you could do a lot worse.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Brutal Fury (1993)

 Brutal Fury (1993)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Fred Watkins

Starring: Lisa-Gabrielle Greene, Tom Campitelli, Annette Gebron, Jennifer Winder, Karen Eppers, and Thad Dougherty

Something unpleasant is going on at Lincoln High School in Texas. A rapist is on the loose, drugs are rampant, and the teenagers are approaching their mid-40's. Even though Detective Bill Griffin (Campitelli) is investigating, and his new wife Molly (Gebron) is going undercover at the school 21 Jump Street-style, heshers with Iron Maiden and Dio shirts are still overdosing and/or being arrested. What remains of the student body can't abide this. Hence, a group of girls form a "secret sorority" called The Sisterhood and also called The Furies.


After going through a quasi-Satanic initiation ritual, this allows you to dress up in a black bodysuit and ski mask and beat up on pot smokers.


The ringleader of The Furies is one Trudy Jones (Winder). Her second in command is her friend Carol (Eppers). At a Karate class one day, Trudy notes the uncontrollable rage of a redheaded girl named Misty Roberts (Greene) and decides she'd be perfect for The Sisterhood. Misty is unhinged because her father was a fundamentalist preacher who railed against the evils of gym clothes.


When Misty ramps up the revenge, even her fellow Furies decide she's too whackadoo to be in The Sisterhood. Meanwhile, the net is closing in from the crimefighting team of the Griffins. Where you don't want to be is on the receiving end of a high school teen named Misty Roberts's BRUTAL FURY.


Attention Vinegar Syndrome or other specialist Blu-ray labels! Are you out there? Are you reading this? Because, in our ever-so-humble opinion, Brutal Fury is a cult classic-in-waiting. More people need to know about this movie. Heck, ANYBODY needs to know about this movie. It's a gem and a half. To see it is to love it - the only problem is, people need to see it!


It's just a victim of bad timing. If it had come out in the 70's, it would've hit the drive-in circuit and gotten more exposure. If it was directed by Jack Hill, it would be at least as beloved as his Switchblade Sisters (1975). If it had come out in the 80's (even though the film came out in 1993, it has a copyright date of 1988, which makes a lot more sense), it could have been Heathers before Heathers (1989). If it had Martial Arts, it could be like the similarly-themed Kick or Die (1987). But, no, sadly and alas, it got a nothing release from AIP, with another of their classic boxes where the models on the cover are not in the film.


Brutal Fury has it all: fantastic 80's fashions on display, toweringly high hair, a synth-tastic score, amateur and pro-am actors doing their best, and "teenagers" that look like they've got one eye on their pension plan. Nowhere is this more evident than with the evil rapist John Cain (Thad Dougherty) (of course his name is Thad). The idea that this man is supposed to be in high school is just very entertaining in its own right.


The slasheresque flashbacks to Misty's past with her abusive father, her mental breakdowns and her killings are pure gold, as is the classic initiation sequence. Brutal Fury has more in common with regional horror outings like HauntedWeen (1991) or The Night Brings Charlie (1990) than anything else. Although movies like Act of Vengeance (1974) or The Ladies Club (1986) (the latter of which, interestingly, came out in the U.K. as The Sisterhood) are some sort of template.


But there's even more fun to be had, because the "undercover drug dealer in school" subplot is super fun as well. Mix the Sisterhood in with that, and it's a recipe for success.


For a high school student, and especially for a girl, Trudy's voice is quite low. It makes Jodie Foster's voice sound like Alvin and the Chipmunks. No wonder she's the leader. There are a ton of great musical themes and stings on the soundtrack, including one that sounds almost exactly like Children of Bodom's 'Angels Don't Kill'. That would have been an apt theme for the movie had it only come out earlier. Could the COB boys have seen this movie? Well, probably not. But the similarity is definitely there. 

There are other musical highlights as well that we won't spoil, but we always love when there's a specially-written theme song that names characters in the movie. Here is no exception, and the end-credits song, "Misty", by Scott Jacob Loehr is both catchy and dramatic. Further bolstering its slasher comparisons, the song isn't a world away from Sleepaway Camp's "Angela's Theme" by Frankie Vinci.

Why Lisa-Gabrielle Greene, who played the fascinating character of Misty, only went on to do several episodes of Wishbone and nothing else is as mysterious as Misty herself. Think about that: Brutal Fury and Wishbone. That's it. The entertainment business sure is a strange place.


Anyway, we could sing the praises of Brutal Fury all day, but let's just end where we began and hope that a Blu-ray comes out sometime in our lifetime. If anything out there is ripe for rediscovery, it's this. Join the Sisterhood of the Traveling Sword and check out Brutal Fury today!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Satan Killer (1993)

 

The Satan Killer (1993) - * * *

Directed by: Steve Sayre

Starring: Steve Sayre, James Westbrook and Billy Franklin

A serial killer is stalking the Virginia Beach, Virginia area. The local news, talk radio, and other media are all buzzing about it, and they've named the killer "Satan" and the killings "The Satan Slayings". Satan, whose real name is Jimbo (Westbrook), is a hulking brute on a Harley. 

So, three men of different backgrounds all team up to stop him: Detective James Stephen (Sayre), a private investigator named Billy Franklin (Billy Franklin, evidently playing himself in his one and only movie role), and a male nurse who wants to join up with them. Stephen is still brooding because he keeps having flashbacks of when he and his wife went to the amusement park where they went on the bumper boats and she won a Bart Simpson doll. Thus, he has a drinking problem, and more or less goes rogue to stop Jimbo. Who will kill more people: Jimbo or Stephen? Find out when you watch THE SATAN KILLER!

The Satan Killer is a gem. It has a ton of rock-bottom-budget charm, and even though it came out in 1993 it still feels very 80's. Most of the actors involved were non-professionals and they give those sort of super-flat performances that are a joy to watch. Most people describe this movie as incoherent, which may be true, but to us that's not a negative. It's part of the fun. Many coherent movies are boring, and if you want something coherent, why are you watching The Satan Killer? It's also unselfconsciously tasteless and exploitative, which are more points in the win column as far as we're concerned.

Another positive for The Satan Killer are all the colorful side characters, like the radio DJ who debates the death penalty with a very engaged caller (the original title for the film was Death Penalty. AIP changed the title and created box art that has little to do with the actual movie), or the Bryant Gumbel-esque newsman who becomes so "emotionally involved" with the Satan case that he can barely read a teleprompter.

There's very little Satanist action in the film, despite everything. At one point Jimbo takes a woman's lipstick and writes "666" on a mirror. That's pretty much it. Our hero, Stephen, makes a worthy foil for Jimbo. Thank goodness he wears that unflattering yellow shirt in every scene he's in, because it helps provide much-needed lighting for the film. 

His sidekick, Franklin, is a feisty old man that could have been played by Don Rickles. Perhaps he was busy filming Keaton's Cop (1990) at the time. There are a lot of musical interludes throughout where we get to see what Virginia Beach looked like in 1993. It's yet another case of 'They don't make 'em like this anymore!' So, let's keep that in mind.


A movie highlight comes when an older gentlemen gets shot in the stomach with a shotgun, and then lazily puts his hands on his belly as if he's Santa Claus enjoying a good laugh. Evidently the higher-ups at AIP thought this was noteworthy as well, because they chose - of all potential moments - to put it in the trailer for the film!


This is the one and only credit for director Stephen Calamari, although some people think that is either a pseudonym for Stephen Sayre (which would make sense because it sounds like a fake name...although maybe it's real because why would you choose for your last name to be an octopus-based appetizer?), or that Sayre either directed or co-directed the film.


Nevertheless, the 'delightfully amateurish' (wags might say poor) technical qualities of the film may put many potential viewers off, but fans of rediscovered now-classics like Miami Connection (1987) and Samurai Cop (1991) will likely appreciate the nuttiness of what's going on here.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Dragon Fire (1993)

Dragon Fire (1993)- * *

Directed by: Rick Jacobson

Starring: Dominick LaBanca, Pamela Bond, and Kisu

Los Angeles in 2032 is, wouldn’t you just know it, a hellhole. A man travels from another planet (which is apparently a common occurrence in the future) to earth in order to find out who killed his brother. Laker Powers (LaBanca), whose name was obviously concocted by a huge basketball fan, has to compete in underground Punchfighting matches which somehow get him closer to finding his beloved brother’s murderer. Slick (Kisu) becomes his trainer and he works his way through all his opponents in tournament-style bouts. Will he get to the truth about his brother? Or will DRAGON FIRE set his dreams of glory ablaze?


Dragon Fire is a typical Corman-style Punchfighter that, instead of starring Jerry Trimble or Blake Bahner, features one Dominick LaBanca in the lead role. By now, even Don the Dragon was on to better things. In the good old video store days, someone could be plucked from obscurity to be the main star in a movie – see Jay Roberts, Jr., Matt Hannon or Kely McClung for just three examples. LaBanca looks like a cross between Scott Baio and Ken Wahl. He should have been on a 90’s sitcom like Blossom, but instead he’s punching, punching, and punching some more, as are his many opponents.

As in other Corman actioners, the stars have their fighting credits underneath their names during the opening credits. Strangely, LaBanca doesn’t have any specifics under his name, so how are we to know his pedigree and qualifications to appear in Dragon Fire? Nevertheless, the settings are “futurism on a budget” and comparable to the likes of Shredder Orpheus (1990) and Neon City (1991). It’s comforting to know that in the future, with all the many entertainment options available, grown men punching each other still remains extremely popular. As do mullets. They always say fashions come back around.

Kisu, not to be confused with Kimo or Beano, is the Van Peebles-esque trainer who quotes Sun Tzu without crediting him. Laker Powers is such a meathead that he doesn’t question why Slick is able to continually come up with all these nuggets of philosophy. But all of that pales in comparison to the constant fights. If it’s punching – and occasional kicking – you’re after, look no further. 

One thing about Dragon Fire, it doesn’t skimp on the beatings-up. And the steady stream of opponents feature characters that are very Street Fighter II-esque, which makes sense for the time. At least they have unique, individual personalities, unlike some tournament movies. Even though dumbness is readily apparent, and it does get a bit boring despite the modest running time because of the repetition, it’s still better than big-budget versions of this type of material like The Quest (1996).

Sure, the acting is stodgy, but who cares? Most of the guys aren’t actors, they’re fighters. But what’s Pamela Pond’s excuse? Well, presumably it’s all part of the fun. Just like all the screaming, sweating, punching, kicking, and unabashed stupidity. Yet, we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

So, for yet another Corman outing (which combines numerous strip club scenes which Corman also seemed to like around this time) and the unassailable charisma of a certain Dominick LaBanca, look no further than Dragon Fire.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

Karate Warrior 6 (1993)

Karate Warrior 6 (1993)- * * 

Directed by: Fabrizio De Angelis

Starring: Scotty Daffron, Ron Williams, Rafaele Exina, Dorian Field, Richard Goon, Timothy Smith, and David Warbeck



“Here’s your mermaid, you stupid jerks.”

Leo (Daffron) is an overweight college student who runs into a bit of good luck. That’s because as he’s riding his bike while simultaneously having a snack, a limousine carrying some sort of foreign diplomat cuts Leo off and he falls off the bike. While not really injured, Leo overinflates the situation and the diplomat gives him $10,000 in cash right there on the spot. Leo then takes his buddies on a shopping spree, and then on a vacation to Greece. While in Greece, the boys fall victim to a scammer and lose all their money, so they try a gentle scam of their own – they pretend to be tour guides in order to make enough money to get back home.

Unrelated to pretty much all of this, one day Larry Jones (Williams), who is one of the group of friends, sees an attractive Greek girl being assaulted by some toughs, so he intervenes and beats them up. After saving her, she mentions that the yearly motocross race is coming up, and that could get them the money they need to fly back home. So they all go back to her house to fix up an old, shoddy motorcycle. The guy that wins every year is named Mustafa (Exina). 

After Larry bests him, he gets mad and challenges him to a Karate match. He wins that every year, too. Larry gets his girlfriend Betty (Field) and the token family friend/Karate Master Mr. Masura (Goon) to come to Greece to train him. Naturally, it all comes to a head at the final fight, which Larry’s father (Warbeck) also attends. Who will be final champion, Larry or Mustafa?

As you may have noticed, there are SIX Karate Warrior movies. This sixth and, to date, final installment in the long-running series was again directed by Fabrizio DeAngelis, using his usual Larry Ludman pseudonym. The above description details the rambling and ramshackle nature of the plot. A bunch of things happen, it all unfolds in due course, but the Karate angle doesn’t show up until later, and is just another “thing that happens”. We’re all surprised when we finally see Larry is even a fighter of some sort. Another element to this is a pleasant, but pointless, Greek travelogue.

There’s a lot of ridiculous and silly dialogue, and speaking of silly, the main nemesis of the movie, Mustafa, doesn’t inspire much fear. He’s thin, waifish, and looks like a more effeminate version of Balki. Karate Warrior 6 came out in 1993, which was the same year as the last season of Perfect Strangers. So it’s safe to say that America was in the grip of Balki Fever at the time. DeAngelis, as was his wont, was just capitalizing on it. Balki was from the island of Mypos, which was Greek (?) so it all makes sense. And he fights a guy named Larry, so we finally get to see what we as viewers have been waiting for for so long: Larry vs. Balki.

Fan favorite David Warbeck is in the movie for probably less than a minute, all told, so any Warbeck fans out there, don’t go into this expecting him to go around busting any heads. What you do get, however, is one of the friends, Greg (Smith), who looks a lot like the elder Pete on The Adventures of Pete and Pete. In the name department, it’s hard to do better than Richard Goon. He plays Masura, and, while training Larry, he calls him, “Larry-san”. Larry does something that looks a lot like Daniel’s crane move from a certain other movie series.

Finally, it should be noted that the scam the boys fall victim to involves a guy who says they can take a picture with a real live mermaid, and then he steals their pants. That’s right, the old mermaid scam. In part, maybe that’s why the Karate Warrior series never made it to any home video format in the U.S. after the first one (which was released by Imperial). Maybe someone, somewhere figured American audiences couldn’t handle the silliness of volumes 2-6.

Anyway, there’s not a lot of substance here – or Karate, for that matter – but the movie isn’t awful. It’s competently made and there are some funny moments. It just rambles and doesn’t have a lot of focus. Are there any Karate Warrior completists out there who have seen all six? If so, write in today.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Point Of No Return (1993)

Point Of No Return (1993)- * * *

Directed by: John Badham

Starring: Bridget Fonda, Gabriel Byrne, Dermot Mulroney, Harvey Keitel, and Anne Bancroft

When a wild, untamed woman named Maggie (Fonda) gets on the wrong side of the law due to her criminal activities and is going to be executed, a mysterious man known only as “Bob” (Byrne) steps in and stays the execution. He takes her to a secret training camp to be schooled in the ways of assassination. She learns everything from marksmanship to how to use a computer mouse. After being sent on various missions after graduating from the school, she meets J.P. (Mulroney), her building’s manager, and the two strike up a romantic relationship. However, her secret life as a killer still beckons, and she has to choose what type of life she wants to lead. Does Maggie have the ability to pick another path in life, or has she reached the POINT OF NO RETURN?

Point of No Return, as we all know, is a remake of Luc Besson’s La Femme Nikita (1990), which had only come out three years earlier. PONR is slick, Hollywood action all the way, and the 109-minute running time does signal that this is a mainstream release that went to movie theaters. The sort of Hollywoodized action on show here is what director John Badham has come to be known for, and this is a good example of that style, if that’s what you’re looking for. Besides the technical aspects, which are of a high standard, probably the best thing about PONR is the cast.

Bridget Fonda shows she can be an action lead, and has versatility in a role that demands her to do a variety of different things. She’s basically the Eliza Doolittle in a situation where Pygmalion/My Fair Lady meets shooting and blow-ups. During her “assassin training” her room is decorated with Pantera and Red Hot Chili Peppers posters and she watches at least one Headbangers Ball-style music video. When she goes food shopping it’s reminiscent of the classic game show Supermarket Sweep, and she gets to show off a bit of humor as well. 

Gabriel Byrne as her handler and Dermot Mulroney as the love interest are there to support her, though it’s easy to confuse the latter with Dylan McDermott. Or perhaps Costas or Louis Mandylor. Miguel Ferrer and Anne Bancroft provide further support, though it would’ve been nice to see Bancroft shooting people. Sadly, she doesn’t do any action scenes. She just teaches Maggie to act “like a lady”. What a missed opportunity. Harvey Keitel doesn’t show up until 88 minutes into the movie – a point when a lot of other movies would’ve been over already – and is gone by 98 minutes in. That’s right, just ten minutes, and he’s not even in every scene in those minutes.

It’s nice to see people skating around Venice Beach on day-glo rollerblades, and using classic Apple computers. However, the film takes its sweet time and there are long gaps in between action scenes. 

By the time we get to the love story between J.P. and Maggie we were starting to see why the movie was 109 minutes. To keep up the energy, there should have been at least a few more brief action scenes. Maybe Anne Bancroft could have been involved in them. Also, the great song of the same name by Nu Shooz should have been in the movie somewhere, perhaps during a training montage. Another missed opportunity.

In the end, Point of No Return is mainstream action fare – it certainly could have used some more streamlining, and some additional edge would have been nice, but it’s ideal for a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

High Kicks (1993)

High Kicks (1993)- * *1\2

Directed by: Ruta K. Aras

Starring: Ruta K. Aras, Tara Lee-Ann Roth, Dennis Swarthout, Louis Lombardi, and Sandy Kay













Sandy Thomas (Tara Lee-Anne Roth in, sadly, her only credited role to date) is the owner of an aerobics studio named High Kicks! It’s not so much that we’re really excited to tell you that, but the studio name, defiantly, has an exclamation point. One day, a man named Sam (Dennis Swarthout in, sadly, his only credited role to date) walks into High Kicks! looking for a job. Sam is just a guy who sails from port to port in his personal yacht. He also knows Karate, but his feathered and ponytailed blonde locks are stunning enough for everybody both good and bad. 

After Sandy is raped and assaulted by a gang (or, as they call themselves, a tribe), she goes for a walk in the park with Sam. She notices Sam get into a shirtless skirmish with two of his buddies. One looks like a more buff George Lopez and one is a German gentleman named Jonas who is a Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme wannabe (that’s not an insult - he actually says so to his pals). Impressed, Sandy wants to learn Martial Arts from Sam, and, if there’s time, get revenge on the baddies that wronged her. Not kill them, mind you, just rough them up a little. 

Once Sandy’s friend Jill (Kay) sees what’s going on, she wants in on the training. Soon it dawns on Sandy that she could combine Karate and aerobics into the ultimate workout - what she then calls “Karobics” is born. After some ups and downs in their relationship, they eventually go after the main baddie, T.C. (Lombardi), who is less evil and more of a bossy fat guy. In the world of High Kicks (!), anything can happen - who can kick the highest? Find out today!

Out of all the shot-on-video movies in the “Women Who Kick Butt” DVD collection (for those keeping track, there’s also Street Angels, Death Run to Istanbul and Flight To Danger), High Kicks is the most professional of the bunch and the most watchable. It’s a bit like being the tallest midget, but, in the spirit of comparison, let’s keep things in perspective.  High Kicks is a minor gem of zero-budget ingenuity, especially if you keep your standards and your expectations low.

The movie carries the baton forward from the classic aerobics movies of the 80’s like Killer Workout (1987) and Death Spa (1989), but adds a totally-90’s, video vibe to that groundwork. Clearly Billy Blanks was watching - and you thought Tae Bo was the first workout program to combine aerobics and Martial Arts? 

Sorry, Sandy Thomas and Sam were there first. As if this innovation weren’t enough, the opening rape scene plays out as if some pre-teens tried to make their own episode of Law and Order: SVU at home. Or if the Lifetime channel switched to videotapes to film their movies. Then Sam arrives, a man who looks like the result if Dave Coulier downed a whole bottle of Rogaine with Minoxidil. Even the baddies are more baddie STEREOTYPES. But one of them has a T2 shirt, and someone else has an L.A. Law shirt. So clearly it wasn’t all about women in leotards.

Sandy Thomas is a heroine the audience can get behind: she leaves a message on her answering machine informing callers that she’s out chasing down the bad guys. And she eats pizza with fries as the topping. While this was Tara Lee-Anne Roth’s only foray into moviemaking, other cast members did some interesting stuff; Roth’s stunt double was Michele Krasnoo, who was in Death Match (1994) and Kickboxer 4 (1994), among other DTV action titles. Director Aras produced some AIP movies throughout the 90’s, and the guy who plays T.C. was in plenty of mainstream material later, including the show 24 and a lot more. He must have shown casting agents his High Kicks reel. But whatever happened to the Karobics Instructor credited in the end credits? That’s the real question.

Oddly, the version we have of the movie features no music whatsoever and no sound effects. Is this just a defect of our copy? The opening titles, the many montages, even Sandy playing a cassette tape in her studio - nothing. The movie muted itself. It got to where we imagined our own music, especially for the sailing montage. We imagined a jaunty keyboard tune with poppin’ bass and a rockin’ guitar solo. The lack of music hurt the movie, and this was certainly a first for us. Has anyone out there seen a version WITH music? We’d really like to know. Even still, there should have been a title song to pump us all up.

Sure, none of it makes much sense (how are they tracking down all the baddies?), but are you really watching High Kicks for a logical reason? It’s all pretty much silly fun, and if there was music, we’d probably have enjoyed the movie even more. It would have been interesting to see Ruta Aras go on to make more movies as director - but we should be thankful for what we have. For a nutty and nonsensical reach into the outer regions of DTV action (?), may we suggest High Kicks? Clearly, we’re still boggled.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, Bleeding Skull!

Death Run To Istanbul (1993)

Death Run To Istanbul (1993)- * *

Directed by: Rachel Gordon

Starring: Dean Thomas, Bill Ballis, Sunny Doench, and Fallon













The most we were able to discern is that a guy named Gary Yaeger (Thomas) once was a kickboxer, but fell on hard times and became a heroin addict. He owes a ton of money to a gangster baddie named Alonzo (Ballis, who also appeared in the classic Geteven in 1993). Alonzo realizes he’s basically homeless and has no money to pay his drug debts, so he offers him a deal: Get a cache of drugs to Istanbul and he’ll wipe out the debt. Seems simple enough. 

But when the briefcase with the contraband inside goes missing, largely thanks to a middle-aged, balding Motorhead fan, Gary finds himself in deep trouble. So his next move is to get help eliminating the baddies from his ex-girlfriend and fellow kickboxer Sammy (porn performer Fallon). Along with Gary’s sister Lola (Doench of Double Deception fame), the two exercise (and exercise and exercise) some girl power on L.A.’s most ineffectual bad guys. What will happen to the DEATH RUN TO ISTANBUL?

You’ve gotta hand it to Vista Street Entertainment. They’re perfectly willing to release what are essentially family home movies to the wider market. Found on the “Women Who Kick Butt” DVD collection, Death Run To Istanbul, which technically qualifies as a movie, can now have a life into the foreseeable future. 

It seems to have been shot with a standard, consumer-issue camcorder, and without adding any after-market sound equipment. This is another one of those “alien” movies, in the sense that it appears that writer/director Rachel Gordon had decided to make her own movie without ever having seen one before. She likely just landed from an alien world in 1993 and decided to try her hand at filmmaking, only having heard of things called “movies” on her home planet.

That’s why some of Death Run To Istanbul is fascinating - seeing people speak and behave in odd ways, and watch endless scenes of practicing, exercising and even coffee-making, just happens to be strangely interesting. 

And at only 72 minutes (though it feels longer), it doesn’t tax your time too much. Besides, it’s still better than green-screen, CGI garbage of today, and it doesn’t have that annoying blue-green tint so many modern movies have. There are some trained Martial Artists here, unlike so many other movies (handy tip: if you see an unintelligible Asian man wearing a vest and no shirt, run away).

The whole thing starts with a montage of things we’re about to see, and ends with another montage of things we’ve just seen. Some of these things include a mob boss who looks like John Waters (and is about as threatening and intimidating as John Waters), a hulking female brute who appears to be a transsexual, and a band called The Daze. We’re not sure which is scarier. 

At one point, the end credits list The Daze as “The Band”. Perhaps this is what they were singing about when they wrote “The Weight”. Whoever typed the credits also listed someone as “Fight Coor”. Either the budget (?) ran out, or the fight scenes were planned out by an empty beer can.

We’ve tried to be as fair as we could with Death Run To Istanbul (which, misleadingly, was shot entirely in the L.A. area but made a stab at sounding international), and a mean person could point out that pretty much every aspect of it, from every technical standpoint to anything else, isn’t up to par. 

However, it acted as sort of a “demo tape” for Ms. Gordon and some of the other people involved, launching their careers. But the real trick here is this: Don’t compare this to any other movies you’ve seen. If you do that, you’ll think it’s bad. Just treat it as its own thing - from the parallel universe of SOV’s that Bleedingskull.com is always celebrating. Don’t expect quality; expect a strange, amateurish project, and you MIGHT find something worthy of your 72 minutes.  But don’t get your hopes up.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

Street Angels (1993)

Street Angels (1993)- * *

Directed by: George Saunders

Starring: George Saunders, Kim Strauss, Dee Hengstler, Gwen Somers, David Jean Thomas, and Honey Lauren










Frank Adams (Saunders) is a wisecracking L.A. cop with an attitude. The Phantom (Strauss) is an evil crime lord with a large gang of baddies at his disposal. Before the Phantom and his minions can take over the streets, Adams decides that the one and only way to deal with the escalating crime situation is to pluck three women from prison, Tamara, the blonde one (Hengstler), Betina, the brunette (Lauren), and Anya, the redhead (Somers), and train them to be crime-fighting machines. After the death of his partner Murph, Adams is really mad, you see. After protecting the neighborhood for a while, they come to be called the “Street Angels”, much like Curtis Sliwa’s Guardian Angels. Or perhaps Charlie’s Angels. Some kind of angels, anyway. Will our new heroines/hero be victorious, or will they be just more victims for The Phantom?

Here we have a no-budget, shot-on-video item, or NBSOV for short. It appears Street Angels was shot on a standard-issue camcorder of the day, and it’s a lot like the movies we would make with friends - but, thanks to Vista Street Entertainment, a specialist in downmarket product, this made it into video stores! 

We don’t know how many, exactly, but we wonder if anyone rented it, saw the amateurish technical qualities, and stuck with it until the end. We sure did, as we always do, and once you get past the obvious drawbacks, the first hour is actually pretty entertaining. It has all the cop cliches we know and love, including a BYC (Black Yelling Chief) - this time played by DTV trooper David Jean Thomas, who appeared in No Code of Conduct (1998) and Retrograde (2004), to name just a few. Imagine all the classic tropes you know and love, but seemingly made for zero dollars by a bunch of enthusiastic teenagers. After the first hour, the movie starts to drag and the novelty wears off, however. With some better pacing, things could have improved a lot for the duration of the running time.

The movie is not quite Samurai Cop (1991), but it seems to be yearning in that direction. Instead of Amir Shervan and Matt Hannon, we have actor/writer/director/co-producer George Saunders, who wears a tanktop that reads “Fight Crime” and gives himself humorous (?) dialogue and sensitive narration. Is it tongue-in-cheek or meant to be taken seriously? 

It’s very hard to tell. The villain, The Phantom, works out in his weight room while drinking a Bud Light and wearing sunglasses and tight jeans. He also appears to be homosexual, which was an interesting character choice for the main baddie. Of course, there’s a training sequence, the expected Prerequisite Torture of the hero, some abrupt and completely out of the blue Punchfighting, and more, but it starts to get repetitive after a while. There are even references to contemporary events, such as Desert Storm and the L.A. riots, which add cultural context, but it still doesn’t answer the questions of how this got into video stores and who rented it?

We’re used to junkiness, as well as the Mankillers (1987)/Hired to Kill (1990)-style plotline, and the time-honored Street Corner Justice (1996)/Annihilators (1985)-style “cleaning up the community” plotline, which got us to thinking about an imagined remake. It would feature Michael Madsen as the hero, Brian Thompson as the baddie, and Angie Everhart, Elizabeth Berkley, and...someone else as the girls. Generally we’re against remakes, but a strike against Street Angels is the lame ending. We would change that. Though Dee Hengstler, who played Tamara, was in an episode of Cop Rock, so she’s not completely expendable. She’s got at least one for the win column.

Ruta Aras, writer/director of High Kicks (1993), was thanked in the end credits, and both Street Angels and High Kicks are both found on the Women Who Kick Butt DVD collection. Which companies are working behind the scenes to make this stuff happen? If you’re a fan of forgotten SOV’s in the bleedingskull.com tradition, you will most likely enjoy Street Angels. If you require concepts such as professionalism and traditional notions of quality in your cinematic entertainment, steer clear.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum!

Blood Warriors (1993)

Blood Warriors (1993)- * *

Directed by: Sam Firstenberg

Starring: David Bradley, Frank Zagarino, and Jennifer Campbell









Wes Healey (Bradley) is an ex-Marine who travels to Indonesia while on the hunt for his old buddy Keith Stone (Zags). Healey wants answers about the death of  a mutual friend, and while in this foreign land, he stays at the palatial estate of Keith’s sister Karen (Campbell). However, it transpires that Keith is a megalomaniacal, unstable nutjob who has corraled some locals into becoming his own personal fighting force. He even demands they train in front of him while he watches them beat the living snot out of each other, for his own amusement, of course. When Healey rejects all the madness, Stone turns on him, and he has to save Karen and fight a bunch of goons. This, of course, leads to the final confrontation between Healey and Stone. And who exactly are the BLOOD WARRIORS here?

Huh? What? Oh, we’re supposed to review Blood Warriors. I’m sorry, our eyelids were getting heavy. You’d think - you’d REALLY think - a movie starring David Bradley and Frank Zagarino, directed by Firstenberg, would be a no-brainer winner. Well...not so much. It’s almost like they came up with the title first, but worked backwards - in the wrong direction. Here’s a conversation that probably happened: “I’ve got a great title for a movie!” “Oh, what is it?” “Blood Warriors.” “Yeah, that is good! Now what happens?” “Eh, I don’t know...” Basing our thoughts off of this supposition, we noticed that the whole movie’s vibe is just off. It’s like the rhythm of it all is wrong - it gets off on the wrong foot and struggles to recover for the rest of the running time.

Now that’s not to say that there aren’t a plethora of unintentionally funny moments. Blood Warriors is like watching a heart monitor for someone struggling to live: for a long period of time there’s a flatline, but then out of nowhere a few spikes will shoot up, then it will go back down. 

The movie was co-written by Bradley, which may explain why he speaks in a tightly controlled rasp, wears a black cowboy hat that makes him look like country music star Clint Black, and can jump in slow motion off buildings and cars, and essentially slow down time and space at his will so he can fight nameless goons and shoot them. He also picks up a guitar at one point and begins serenading Karen. A crooning David Bradley. Now we’ve seen everything.

Everything about this movie screams “stereotypical stupid”. From the funny/dumb action scenes on down, from the Prerequisite Torture (this time not of the hero, but of Karen), to the boat chase. Said boat chase features music on the soundtrack that can only be described as “90’s Chase Rock.” 

Anyone who’s ever seen an action movie from this time period knows what we’re talking about - generic rock with distorted guitars and squealing, wailing guitar solos. Naturally, it all caps off with the time-honored warehouse fight. But the whole outing is slow - Zagarino doesn’t even show up until 50 minutes into the movie even though  he’s second-billed. We were on "Zag-watch". Blood Warriors drags for much of the proceedings and should have been chopped by about 10 minutes or so. Then we’d have something.

Yes, there are some occasionally funny moments that pop up in Blood Warriors, but is that what we’re watching these movies for? If you have some time on your hands and you don’t mind waiting to have a few yuks, by all means go ahead, but on the whole it’s a disappointment.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett