Ninja Wars (1982)

Ninja Wars (1982)- * * *

Directed by: Kosei Sato

Starring: Hiroyuki Sanada, Noriko Watanabe, and Akira Nakao and Sonny Chiba













Set in the Japan of the past, Ninja Wars tells the tale of Jotaro (Sanada) and Kagaribi (Watanabe) - two lovers whose lives are violently interrupted by the evil Lord Danjo (Nakao). Because of what he’s been told, he believes that if he marries Lady Ukyo (also Watanabe), he will be the ultimate ruler of Japan, if not the world. The problem is, he needs to make his own aphrodisiac in order to seduce her, so he kidnaps her sister, who happens to be Kagaribi. Her tears are a vital ingredient in the potion. 

Jotaro is not happy about this and goes on a quest to find her and rescue her, but he has to contend not just with Lord Danjo, but also his henchmen, known as the Five Devil Monks. Thankfully, Jotaro is a ninja, and he will need his skills to strike back at the power-mad Danjo and his axis of evil. Will he succeed?

Ninja Wars opens with a freeze frame, which is a promising start to a fine film - normally we’re satisfied with a movie that ends with one. But that detail aside, The Ninja Wars (or simply Ninja Wars as the big-box Prism VHS that we saw calls it - apparently the “the” was too cumbersome for them) is a very well-shot, traditional Japanese period piece. 

But it also is chock full of weird, wacky and off-kilter ideas. It has a lot of the ninja weaponry and costuming we’ve come to expect, and seeing as how it is actually Japanese (as opposed to the many knockoffs which aren’t), it commands more respect from the viewer.

The movie fluctuates back and forth between a serious drama, complete with beautiful costumes, wonderful sets, and the aforementioned excellent cinematography, and a bizarre, fairy tale-like flight of fancy, which the flying ninjas, strange weapons, and items like the “Crescent Sword Technique”, which is like an ancient light saber, only serve to reinforce. 

The dubbing on the VHS is highly ridiculous at times, especially the monks, who with their ridiculous gravelly voices sound like Cookie Monster. There are many spoken moments familiar to viewers who have seen dubbing jobs like this before: take note of the “HA-HA-HA-HA!!!” laughter by Lord Danjo and you’ll know what we mean. Speaking of the Devil Monks, apparently (at least one of them) pioneered the afro haircut. They were evil henchmen, and fashion-forward.

Ninja Wars was a Toei production, known today mainly for having a barely-noticeable appearance by Sonny Chiba. We didn’t even know he was in the movie before going into it, and frankly, it doesn’t matter. We were mainly drawn in by the amazing box art, and during the golden age of the video store, when the Ninja Boom was in full swing, you had to do something to stand out from the many competitors. Prism definitely did. 

But the fact is, Ninja Wars is more than a simple ninja movie, and couldn’t be farther away from the epics of Godfrey Ho. Granted, we like Godfrey Ho, but this really shows the range and diversity even within the Ninja Boom, that we could get things on opposite ends of the spectrum like this and one of Ho’s movies. That’s one of the reasons why ninja movies of the 80’s are well worth exploring today. Like a lot of movies of any kind, however, Ninja Wars loses a bit of steam towards the end, but it’s still well worth checking out.

For a Ninja Boom-era movie with more, Ninja Wars should be what you’re looking for, and now that it’s on DVD, it’s easier to find than ever before.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

The Divine Enforcer (1992)

The Divine Enforcer (1992)-* *

Directed by: Robert Rundle

Starring: Erik Estrada, Jan-Michael Vincent, Michael Foley, Jim Brown, Judy Landers, Hiroko, Don Stroud, and Robert Z'Dar












The Monsignor (Estrada), Father Thomas (Vincent) and their helpful assistant Merna (Landers) live and work at a church in a “bad part” of L.A. One day, a man named Father Daniel (Foley) comes to join their parish. The only thing about Father Daniel is, he’s a Martial Arts expert who uses his Cross-emblazoned gun, knives and even throwing stars to take out the trash of the city. He even uses the confessional for tips on where to go. But if the parishioners don’t give him enough info, he uses his psychic powers to find out more. 

While trying to keep his double life secret, he meets a fellow psychic, Kim (Chambers), who he takes a liking to. Meanwhile, there’s a sadistic serial killer stalking the city named Otis (Stroud), who drains his victims of blood and saves their skulls. But Father Daniel saves people’s souls, so the two men are mortal enemies. When Otis kidnaps Kim, the ultimate showdown ensues. Or something like that.

You would think a movie about a psychic priest who kills his enemies with throwing stars with the Cross on them would be a surefire hit. But in the hands of director/co-writer Rundle, this one idea is not enough to sustain a 90 minute movie. Thus there is plenty of filler which dilutes this killer idea. A wise man once said “you cannot intentionally make a cult film” and that seems to be the case here. 

Sure, the movie is loaded up with quality B-movie names, but it could definitely be argued that they are not used to their full potential. Add to that some muddy, muffled sound where the music is louder than the dialogue and a lot of repetitive scenes (such as the oft-repeated “Breakfast” scene) and, far from a unique winner, we’re bordering dangerously on dud.

The credits of the movie misspell Erik Estrada’s name (crediting him as “Eric” with a C), while the VHS box (released by Prism) has it correctly. He does more-or-less a “sit-down” role, as does Jan-Michael Vincent, who does an out-and-out sit-down. Vincent just sits at the breakfast table with his newspaper and slurs a few lines. Sure, there’s something endearing about it, but he’s so under-used. And speaking of under-used, Jim Brown and Robert Z’Dar are on screen for literally seconds as incidental drug-dealers. More should have been made of them. Don Stroud plays the deranged killer with aplomb, but his scenes contain the most filler.

And who is this Michael Foley, who plays the main role of Father Daniel, you ask? He was in Lionheart (1990), Karate Cop (1991) and Intent To Kill (1992) - but he’s still kind of an odd choice for a leading role. 

Some of the better moments in The Divine Enforcer comes from the random scenes - plenty of parts have no explanation, and that combined with the amateurish acting usually provides the VHS gold we’re always looking for. But it’s a battle against filler. Ken Davitian shows up in an uncredited role as a club owner watching the singer Hiroko (and her stellar backup dancers) do a performance. Her song “My Love’s Waiting” temporarily livens things up, but this movie is still fairly disappointing.

In all, the idea of the Father Daniel character is excellent, but, sadly, the movie as a whole is mishandled, not getting the maximum bang for the buck from the idea.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty