Collision Course (1989)

Collision Course (1989)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Lewis Teague

Starring: Jay Leno, Pat Morita, Ernie Hudson, John Hancock, Chris Sarandon, Mike Starr, Soon Teck Oh, Tom Noonan, and Randall Tex Cobb












Tony Costas (Jay “Men are like this, but women are like this” Leno) is a Detroit Police Detective, as you might expect. Fujitsuka Natsuo (Morita) is a “Detective First Class” in Japan. When his chief, Kitao (Oh), sends him to Detroit to investigate the corporate intrigue behind a very special car part that could revolutionize the auto industry, he immediately thinks of Jay Leno and tells him to find him. So while, initially, according to the back of the VHS box, the two men are “as different as hot dogs and sushi”, they eventually learn to work together, despite cultural differences and Jay Leno’s annoying presence. An impressive list of excellent names orbits the wacky goings-on, including the great Noonan, Sarandon, Cobb, Hudson, Starr and others. Will Costas and Natsuo get to the bottom of the matter before being killed by the baddies? No matter what, you’re - again quoting the box - “guaranteed a lot of action. But you’re guaranteed a lot of laughs!”

Well, it finally happened. The day you knew was coming finally arrived. The ultimate action star, Jay Leno, has been set loose, has a gun, and is running around Detroit savagely murdering people. Okay, well, maybe that’s a bit of an overstatement, but as you can clearly see above, he does indeed have a gun. And he doesn’t seem to be afraid to use it. The terms “Jay Leno” and “weaponry” should always be used together, and here they finally have a harmonious home. Naturally thanks to the greatest casting decision of all time. (Or at least since Art Garfunkel had a Short Fuse).

But really, this is your classic 80’s buddy cop/action/comedy we’ve come to be very familiar with, very much in a similar vein to Action Jackson (1988) for the automobile-related intrigue in Detroit, but also Red Heat (1988) for the “wisecracking cop teaming up with a fish out of water from another country” theme. Jay Leno probably only agreed to be in it because the subject matter involves cars. Don’t be afraid of his high-pitched squeakings; in actual fact, Collision Course is highly entertaining. It stacks one nutty scenario on top of another for pretty much the entire running time. For an action comedy that’s 80’s through and through, Collision Course definitively delivers the goods.

It’s even fascinating to watch as a time capsule, because it was set in a time when Japan was considered a major threat and rival. And because Jay Leno is a cop who plays by his own rules and occasionally flouts the law himself, and lets fly with some classic casual racism, and goes up to any woman he sees and asks for their “home number”, through the wildly PC eyes of 2013, Jay Leno would be seen as a fascist, womanizing racist. But it was all in good fun back then. Plus, at any moment you think he’s going to tell the audience it’s okay because “crunch all you want, we’ll make more.” It’s a shame Leno gave up his budding career as an action star and chose to be the host of the Jay Leno Show (not The Tonight Show. The Jay Leno Show).  What a waste.

Yet more silliness ensues when Pat Morita is onscreen and stereotypically “Asian” music plays. You want to scream “we get it, he’s Asian!!!”. And when asked his name, Natsuo says “Dwayne Johnson”, predating The Rock by many years. Also there is a missile gun, fruit cart chases, sax AND funk on the soundtrack, and not just a freeze-frame, a split freeze frame. There’s also a top-notch BYC (Black Yelling Chief), played brilliantly by John Hancock, who signs this movie with a huge signature (sorry about that, but it‘s true). 

The icing on the cake is an ad after the movie is over, informing us that if we weren’t fully entertained, we could send in our “rental receipt” and get a full refund! Now who on God’s green earth would do that? They must have been fully confident in the ability of Jay Leno to delight and amuse, even though lawsuits prevented the movie from being released on VHS for about six years (it was shot in 1986 and didn’t come out on VHS until 1992. Presumably this was strategically timed for Jay Leno to be crowned victorious in the Late Night Wars of the early 90s. Whether people thought this would help or hurt his chances in said Wars remains unclear).

So for unabashed silliness that’s a lot more entertaining than you might think, give Collision Course a try. Also, if you want to know what a “hard PG” looks like, here it is. After all, this may be your only chance to see Jay Leno brutally executing his rivals.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups by: The Unknown Movies, and Explosive Action!

Raw Nerve (1991)

Raw Nerve (1991)-* *1\2

Directed By: David A. Prior

Starring: Ted Prior, Traci Lords, Jan-Michael Vincent, Randall “Tex” Cobb, Sandahl Bergman and Glenn Ford

AIP is a company that produced a treasure trove of low budget direct-to-video films that specialized in action movies, as the company name implies. Being a low-budget production company, you would think they would have been familiar with their forebear "American International Pictures" the original AIP. Why they used that name is a bit puzzling. Even though they made other types of genre movies, it was with action that they hit their stride. Although they ceased production in 1994, they left behind a legacy of VHS gems such as: White Fury (1990) , Alien Seed (1989) (with Erik Estrada), and Shredder Orpheus (1990) (Maybe they weren't all gems)

Raw Nerve is another supremely silly entry in the AIP canon. It was trying to be a serious contender with other suspense thrillers cluttering video store shelves at the time. There are too many missteps in its execution, star power notwithstanding.

At the local county fair, a woman is murdered in the Hall Of Mirrors. Meanwhile, local yahoos Jimmy (Prior) and slovenly alcoholic Blake (Cobb) are gearing up for a car race….until Jimmy sees visions of the murder from the “Prior” evening. He sweats profusely and freaks out in an exaggerated manner. It jeopardizes his racing ability and he almost dies. The couple of yokels in the stands were hoping for a fiery death. Despite the fact this race is at 9am on a weekday, the stands are packed. In between breakfast beers, Blake doesn’t seem too concerned about his chum’s plight.

Jimmy lives with his sister, Gina (Lords) she is a pre-med student and the “good girl”. She goes to the prom and two strange looking preppies in their late 30’s (and yet still in high school) offer Gina and her friend “wacky tabaccy”. While Gina is thinking of giving in to peer pressure, another murder occurs. Now Jimmy is the prime suspect but no one believes him, especially the police.

 Down at the local precinct, Detective Ellis (Vincent) is assigned to the case. His is put in charge by Captain Gavin (Ford). In addition, Bergman plays Gloria, a reporter trying to get answers from Jimmy and in the process strikes up a relationship with him. Who can resist his sweaty freak-outs? Jimmy is naturally suspicious of Gloria. Also in the love triangle is Ellis who was previously married to her. If all this seems too confusing, it is not.

While out one night soused out of his mind, Blake finds a mysterious red high heel. What is the secret of the shoe? Ellis and Gavin pursue Jimmy around town for most of the movie, which leads into a final confrontation on the top level of a parking garage. Blake with beer in hand (as usual) guns his truck through a concrete divider to his doom below….but is that the end?....is there one final twist?

Sadly this was Ford’s final film appearance. This follows the old saying: “Never have a last movie.” Just look at Raul Julia (Street Fighter,1994), Orson Welles (Transformers: The Movie, 1986) and John Candy and Peter Sellers as well. Now we can add Glenn Ford to this illustrious list. Randall “Tex” Cobb is a triumph as Blake Garrett. He is unshaven, his clothes barely fit, and he stumbles around drunkenly the entire film. He adds a lot.


Ford steals the movie despite his minimal screen time: While reminiscing about his early days with Vincent and what lead him to becoming an policeman , he mentions to him that he almost became a florist. When Vincent asks him why, Ford responds with THE line of the movie: unexpectedly informs us: "I like flowers."

Your nerves will be raw when you watch this classic tonight!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett