The Protector (1985)

The Protector (1985)- * * * *

Directed by: James Glickenhaus

Starring: Jackie Chan, Danny Aiello, Roy Chiao, Saun Ellis, Mike Starr, Kim Bass, Big John Studd, Moon Lee, and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace











Billy Wong (Chan) is a tenacious and dedicated cop who always gets his man - but doesn’t always play by the rules. Because of his rogue ways, he’s busted down to “crowd control”. While with his new partner Garoni (Aiello) at said crowd, a fashion show displaying “shimmering cocktail wear”, a woman named Laura Shapiro (Ellis) is kidnapped by marauding thugs which crash the fashion show. 

Tying her kidnapping to the nefarious Hong Kong crime lord Harold Ko (Chiao), Wong and Garoni travel all the way from their home base in New York City to Hong Kong to rescue Laura and bring down the criminal enterprise of Ko. While there, they team up with some unlikely allies, Stan Jones (Ballistic director Kim Bass) and Soo Ling (Lee). Will they achieve their mission, and not destroy Hong Kong in the process? Find out today!

We really loved The Protector. It’s classic 80’s fun all the way, with no shortage of action. Not only does the movie look great, thanks to its excellent cinematography, but it truly is Jackie Chan as you’ve never seen him before. 

We can see why he and director Glickenhaus had a falling out over differing visions, but, without giving away any spoilers, you just have to check out the scene between Jackie and none other than Big John Studd. It’s amazing. In the New York City scenes, there are some great shots of the World Trade Center towers that add another layer of nostalgia. But besides the WTC, there’s also a great example of a WYC (a White Yelling Chief, that is). The entertainment value never lets up.

This movie was released at the height of Glickenhaus’ powers as a director - we can see why Golden Harvest wanted to do a deal with him. He was smart enough to give action fans all of what they want, and none of what they don’t. There’s no stupid, annoying kid, there’s no stupid, annoying romance, it’s just one super-cool action setpiece after another, with Jackie doing what he does best. What more could you want?

Plus, we get to see a slimmer Danny Aiello teamed with Jackie Chan. This truly was a once-in-a-lifetime pair-up. We thought they made a great team. Aiello wears a red jacket with no shirt, but with a medallion, which was a cool style for the day, and he’s familiar with Hong Kong in the film because he was in Vietnam and they used to go there for R & R.

The Protector is a winner - it’s just wildly enjoyable fun from beginning to end. Featuring the song “One Up For the Good Guys” by Chip Taylor, we strongly recommend The Protector.

NOTE: We really didn’t discuss the two versions here - but it appears the American DVD is the ideal way to view this film.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Bloodsport (1988)

Bloodsport (1988)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Newt Arnold

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Donald Gibb, Leah Ayres, Roy Chiao, Forest Whitaker and Bolo Yeung











It’s definitely time we reviewed this classic! As you surely know, Frank Dux (Van Damme) is an “American” martial artist who has gone through rigorous training since he was a kid by his master Tanaka (Chiao). When Frank takes part in the most underground, no-holds-barred, to-the-death fighting tournament in the world, the Kumite, most people try to stop him. That includes love interest Janice Kent (Ayres), and Dux’s army superiors Helmer (Burton) and Rawlins (Whitaker). But Dux becomes buddies with Ray Jackson (Gibb), a charismatic tough man, and they support each other. But will anyone have what it takes to defeat the sinister, murderous fighter Chong Li (Bolo)?

Man, did Cannon really hit one out of the park this time. Not only did it set the careers of Van Damme and Forest Whitaker in motion, it almost singlehandedly set the mold for all the many Punchfighters to come. Of course, to the Bloodsport people, it’s not just fighting, it’s a “martial science”. I guess martial arts are just too lowbrow for them. The Kumite has no weight divisions, so hulking brutes fight against skinny wimps without a second thought. Guys even have quirky, unique styles, and even the “knockoffs” are quality productions - look at Shootfighter (1992). And the “knockoff” even spawned a sequel! Such is the awesome power of Bloodsport.

But they say the word “Kumite” many times, so that’s this movie’s version of Best of the Best 2 (1993)’s constant repetition of the word “Brakus”. When these action movie people come up with a good word, they really don’t let you forget it.

JCVD never gets tired of showing us that he can spread his legs widely (and weirdly), and he has plenty of funny facial expressions. He’s supposed to be American, but his accent is pretty thick - “Belglish” is a bit more like it. He and Ogre have good chemistry together. Sure, Gibb is great, and he brings the movie up, but what would it be like had the role been played by Jack S. Daniels? But Van Damme as the “spiritual warrior” and Gibb as the brash basher is a winning combo.

It’s colorful, it’s fun, it’s entertaining, and it’s fast paced. It also has some great songs and Hong Kong locations. What more could you ask for? Also there are some first-generation tasers on display, as well as other cool 80‘s stuff like the Karate Champ arcade game.

If you haven’t yet, see the much-imitated but never duplicated charm of Bloodsport.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Golden Needles (1974)

Golden Needles (1974)-* *

Directed by: Robert Clouse

Starring: Joe Don Baker, Jim Kelly, Elisabeth Ashley, Ann Southern, Roy Chiao and Burgess Meredith













There is a statue that everyone is after, because inside it are the golden needles - acupuncture needles that, if placed in exactly the right spots on the body, can turn any man into a superman (according to the poster’s tagline, they can rule the world). Since Felicity (Ashley) isn’t willing to buy it for 250,000 dollars, she hires Dan (Baker), an adventurer based out of Hong Kong, to get it for her. He agrees, and brings on board his friend Jeff (Kelly) to help him out. But it’s not going to be easy, because everyone from Lin Toa (Chiao) to eccentric millionaire Winters (Meredith) is hot on the trail of this mysterious statue as well. Every trick in the book is used to obtain the statue, including inexplicable teams of guys in gold protective suits with flamethrowers torching where they think it is. Will Dan and Jeff prevail?

Man, we’re really getting tired of these PG-rated actioners. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that rating, but you can’t really pull out all the stops. While there are some fights and some intrigue, and even some mild torture (inflicted on legendary actress Ann Sothern of all people), the film lacks drive and is filled with...well...filler.

For example, Jim Kelly is painfully underused here. He doesn’t show up until 47 minutes in, and does one very brief fight. Even the end credits say “Jim Kelly’s Fight Sequence Choreographed By Himself." Fight SEQUENCE? This really shouldn’t be in the singular. There should have been multiple Jim Kelly fight sequences. But we are treated to some Joe Don Baker-Fu, and it’s nice to see him looking so young, and, by his standards, vigorous.

While the film is shot very well and has a nice Lalo Schifrin score, and does have a cast of familiar faces, it’s really hard to overcome the slow pace. It would be perfect for a young kid who wants to see an action-type film, but it seems a kid would be bored by much of the proceedings. So the film is caught in a bind. Yes, it was directed by Robert Clouse, who has a lot of famous films to his credit, but Golden Needles was not released on VHS (at least not in America) during the heyday of the video store, so it never had a chance to become a cult classic. Not that it definitely would have, but it never even got a fighting chance. This happened a lot with AIP (American International Pictures, not Action International) movies. I don’t know if it was rights issues or just bad business practices, but a lot of their movies didn’t get the attention they deserved during the VHS era. This was just one of those casualties, it seems.

And, in the final analysis, despite the presence of Burgess Meredith and his awesome bowties, Golden Needles is Saturday afternoon stuff which left a lot to be desired and, sadly, is ultimately unsuccessful. It’s not without some merits, and we’ve seen much, MUCH worse, but ultimately it did not deliver the goods.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty