Battle Creek Brawl (1980)

Battle Creek Brawl (1980)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Clouse

Starring: Jackie Chan, Michel Quissi, Mako, H.B. Haggerty, Kristine DeBell, and Jose Ferrer 












 Set in the 1930’s, Battle Creek Brawl is the tale of one Jerry Kwan (Jackie), a young man who loves Martial Arts. When the classic gangsters of the day threaten his father’s restaurant, Jerry fights back, finally using his much-practiced skills. Head mobster Dominici (Ferrer) sees his abilities as a fighter and, using strongarm tactics like kidnapping and threats, forces him into participating in the “Battle Creek Brawl”, an event in Texas where the top fighters of the day go at each other in a big free-for-all. While he does have allies like Herbert (Mako) and his girlfriend Nancy (DeBell) on his side, it’s going to take all of Jerry’s tenacity to beat strongmen like Billy Kiss (Haggerty) who is known for his infamous “kiss of death”! Can Jerry do it? Find out today...

Battle Creek Brawl is an interesting spin on the Punchfighting genre. Not only is it set in the 30’s, with all the period garb and cars that would entail, but we also liked the idea of a town-wide Punchfighting event. The aptly-named Battle Creek, as a whole, comes together in the streets to watch the grown men pound on each other. So rather than take place in a dank cellar, it’s out in the open with the whole town watching. We thought that was a nice difference. The “forced to fight” plot we’ve seen many times before, most recently in...well...Forced To Fight (2011), but this came out an amazing 31 years before that, and of course features a young Jackie Chan in the lead, who you can’t help but love.

We’ve always been fans of Jackie, and while this is such an early American movie for him, his English would improve in later years, his humorous/acrobatic/highly enjoyable fighting style is on full display. Because the plot of the gangsters taking over the restaurant is so similar to fellow Golden Harvest production The Return of the Dragon (1972), it could honestly be said that Jackie was taking over the mantle of top Martial Arts star worldwide from Bruce Lee. Jackie’s rigorous training sequences are here as well, something he brought over from Asia. 

Jackie is backed up with some great co-stars: the ever-present fan-favorite Mako is on board, as is the cute Christine DeBell as Jackie’s girlfriend, and a young Larry Drake as well. And of course Jose Ferrer as the main baddie. But who could forget H.B. Haggerty as Billy Kiss? He has a black cape that says “KISS” in huge letters, and his finishing move is to make out with his burly male opponent. How much of that Gene Simmons borrowed from, we’ll never know. But the period setting and the way he looks must have influenced Van Damme for The Quest (1996). JCVD’s final villain looks very similar, and is even played by Michael Qissi! Coincidence?

Another difference between this and the much-later Forced To Fight is that this has clearly identifiable fighters with their own personalities and quirks. The FTF baddies are generic thugs. See that review for a further discussion on how Punchfighting opponents have gotten more generic over the years. 

The Lalo Schifrin music is typically excellent and raises the bar for the movie as a whole. Other highlights include the roller skating scene, and the fact that the crowd chants “Jer-ry! Jer-ry!” many years before Springer. Maybe they’ve been chanting for Jerry Kwan all along. 

In racism news, perhaps no other movie we’ve seen has had characters that say the word “chink” quite as many times, and by as many different characters, as Battle Creek Brawl. Maybe that was the only epithet they had back in the 30’s. It was during the depression and all. But the movie as a whole is lighthearted fun and it’s all done very well and professionally.

Finally after years of awful-quality VHS tapes, a widescreen DVD was released in 2004 by Fox. Pick this up, and get your Jerry Kwan on today.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

The Protector (1985)

The Protector (1985)- * * * *

Directed by: James Glickenhaus

Starring: Jackie Chan, Danny Aiello, Roy Chiao, Saun Ellis, Mike Starr, Kim Bass, Big John Studd, Moon Lee, and Bill "Superfoot" Wallace











Billy Wong (Chan) is a tenacious and dedicated cop who always gets his man - but doesn’t always play by the rules. Because of his rogue ways, he’s busted down to “crowd control”. While with his new partner Garoni (Aiello) at said crowd, a fashion show displaying “shimmering cocktail wear”, a woman named Laura Shapiro (Ellis) is kidnapped by marauding thugs which crash the fashion show. 

Tying her kidnapping to the nefarious Hong Kong crime lord Harold Ko (Chiao), Wong and Garoni travel all the way from their home base in New York City to Hong Kong to rescue Laura and bring down the criminal enterprise of Ko. While there, they team up with some unlikely allies, Stan Jones (Ballistic director Kim Bass) and Soo Ling (Lee). Will they achieve their mission, and not destroy Hong Kong in the process? Find out today!

We really loved The Protector. It’s classic 80’s fun all the way, with no shortage of action. Not only does the movie look great, thanks to its excellent cinematography, but it truly is Jackie Chan as you’ve never seen him before. 

We can see why he and director Glickenhaus had a falling out over differing visions, but, without giving away any spoilers, you just have to check out the scene between Jackie and none other than Big John Studd. It’s amazing. In the New York City scenes, there are some great shots of the World Trade Center towers that add another layer of nostalgia. But besides the WTC, there’s also a great example of a WYC (a White Yelling Chief, that is). The entertainment value never lets up.

This movie was released at the height of Glickenhaus’ powers as a director - we can see why Golden Harvest wanted to do a deal with him. He was smart enough to give action fans all of what they want, and none of what they don’t. There’s no stupid, annoying kid, there’s no stupid, annoying romance, it’s just one super-cool action setpiece after another, with Jackie doing what he does best. What more could you want?

Plus, we get to see a slimmer Danny Aiello teamed with Jackie Chan. This truly was a once-in-a-lifetime pair-up. We thought they made a great team. Aiello wears a red jacket with no shirt, but with a medallion, which was a cool style for the day, and he’s familiar with Hong Kong in the film because he was in Vietnam and they used to go there for R & R.

The Protector is a winner - it’s just wildly enjoyable fun from beginning to end. Featuring the song “One Up For the Good Guys” by Chip Taylor, we strongly recommend The Protector.

NOTE: We really didn’t discuss the two versions here - but it appears the American DVD is the ideal way to view this film.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Wheels On Meals (1984)

Wheels On Meals (1984)-* * *

Directed by: Sammo Hung

Starring: Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao, Sammo Hung, Lola Forner, and Benny "The Jet" Urquidez












Cousins Thomas (Chan) and David (Biao) own and operate a mobile food truck called “Everybody’s Kitchen” in Barcelona, Spain. It seems they’re always getting into mishaps and misadventures, and their latest one involves Sylvia (Forner), a beautiful woman that both private detective Moby (Hung) and a gang of baddies are looking for. Eventually, Thomas, David and Moby team up to protect Sylvia, while fighting the gang.

It’s impossible not to love Wheels On Meals. The Martial Arts and stunt choreography are superb, there’s plenty of humor that’s actually funny, and it’s all very well-shot, colorful and upbeat. It was an excellent idea to shoot a movie like this in Spain, because it gives the whole thing a different and unusual vibe not seen in too many other Martial Arts movies. The whole idea of Chan, Biao and Hung as the Three Musketeers is very winning, and they would reunite a few years later as the Three Stooges in Dragons Forever (1988), but we prefer Wheels for all-out fun and entertainment.

The movie STARTS with a training sequence, because Thomas and David may run a food truck, but they always have to be prepared to defend it from street punks. But this is one high-tech, futuristic truck. It’s all run by computer, which is very savvy for 1984. Sammo Hung looks pretty stylin’ with his Jheri curl and suit jackets rolled up to the elbows. He resembles Michael Jackson or Lionel Richie, which would make sense for the time this movie was made. It’s great to see the three leads interact, and with the addition of the gorgeous Lola Forner (who would return in Armour of God, 1986), you really can’t lose. From the scene at the disco (we always love seeing those), to the insane asylum (check out the “Clock Man”!), and of course the cool stunts, there are a variety of situations and scenarios for our heroes to get into.

Of course, we can’t forget to mention the awesome final fight between Jackie and Benny The Jet. Benny wears this bowtie and seersucker suit, which we imagine would be tough to fight in, especially the complex moves being done, but it all comes to a rousing climax in a Spanish castle. Benny would also come back in Dragons Forever (1988).

When we would go to the video store, we would always notice two Jackie Chan movies because of their unusual titles: Wheels On Meals and Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1980). We would always talk about these titles - and thought-provoking names like these probably sucked many video store patrons in and then they later became not just Jackie Chan fans, but Martial Arts cinema fans as well, acting as a sort of gateway drug. Now we strongly recommend you watch the movie on Netflix Streaming if you have it. It’s a nice widescreen print with subtitles (funny how everyone in Spain speaks Cantonese). Surely it’s a vast improvement upon pan-and-scanned, dubbed VHS tapes.

Wheels On Meals is a hugely enjoyable movie experience and a good time will be had by all who see it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Dragons Forever (1988)

Dragons Forever (1988)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Sammo Hung and Corey Yuen

Starring: Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Wah Yuen, Deanne Yip, Pauline Yeung, and Benny "The Jet" Urquidez











Notorious gangster and all-around bad guy Hua (Yuen) is using his chemical factory, Hua Chemical Works, as a front for a drug operation. Because his factory has made him a rich, white-collar businessman, no one can touch him. When a woman, Catherine (Yip) complains that the waste from his factory is polluting her beloved fishpond, she initially gets the brush-off from Hua. But when Hua’s lawyer Johnny Lung (Chan) decides to defect to the good guys because he falls in love with Catherine’s cousin Nancy (Yeung), all hell breaks loose. Uniting with buddies Luke (Hung) and Timothy (Biao), the triumphant trifecta take on the takers in a no-holds-barred brawl (is there any other kind?)

Sammo Hung chalks up another winner for his storied career in this lovable outing. Once again, the movie is filled with energy, humor, and action. This time around, he introduces some romantic comedy elements, so for our money, the previous “Three Brothers” film, Wheels On Meals (1984), is a bit better, but it’s entirely subjective, of course.  There’s plenty of expertly done slapstick on show as well, and if Wheels On Meals had our heroes as the Three Musketeers, here they’re reminiscent of the Three Stooges. It’s all very well-shot and well-staged, and the ending certainly doesn’t skimp on the action.

Thanks in part to the newly-added presence of co-director/production supervisor Corey Yuen, the Martial Arts have that kinetic, bone-breaking edge that we’ve all become so addicted to. It’s perfectly suited to counterbalance the romantic comedy elements. Benny The Jet also returns from 'Meals, and, as stated earlier, the final fight in the warehouse is awesome, with stellar fight choreography and tons of engaging moments.

If you have Netflix Streaming, that’s a good way to view this movie, as it’s nicely letterboxed and subtitled. Hopefully the Three Brothers will reunite, as 1988, the year of this movie, was their last film together to date. It would be amazing to see them all together in a movie that comes to the theater. Dragons Forever is a movie that will appeal to die-hard Martial Arts film fans, as well as newbies just getting into the genre. Quality stuff.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fantasy Mission Force (1982)

Fantasy Mission Force (1982)-* * *

AKA: Mini Special Force and Shadowman 2

Directed by: Yen-ping Chu

Starring: Jackie Chan and Brigitte Lin











Possibly the most insane Jackie Chan vehicle, "Fantasy Mission Force" begins with a bearded General with a monocle deciding who is going to be part of a commando group. He shows the people in the room a slide show of James Bond, a man resembling Snake Plissken and Sylvester Stallone as Rocky. After stating that "James Bond is not available, he's in a different country", and "Rocky is not part of a military operation!", he is cut off in mid-sentence by the title, credits and song. It then goes to a bar where people are singing and dancing.



Are you confused? That's okay, it's all part of the nonsensical fun.

Next we have Jackie Chan (in this outing as "Jacky") fighting a sumo wrestler. He did fifteen years in jail "for gambling". It then cuts to a Monty Python-style parade of Chinese Scottish people in kilts and playing bagpipes. The "Fantasy Mission Force" consists of a few people walking around outside. They then find a haunted house with a floating head. Then there are "yellow-hooded Nazis".



This movie is a jumble of crazy ideas, sped-up martial arts, bad dubbing (Jackie Chan sounds like a girl) and jagged editing. It's rare that you see a movie where absolutely nothing makes any sense whatsoever. There are some fight scenes at the end that are somewhat "normal" but "Fantasy Mission Force" is one silly, zany scene after another. If that sounds like your cup of tea, see it if you get the chance!





Comeuppance review by: Ty and Brett