Rangers (2000)

Rangers (2000)- * *

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Starring: Matt McCoy, Glenn Plummer, Corbin Bernsen, Bean Miller, and Dartanyan Edmonds









Invasion USA (1985). Red Heat (1988). Navy Seals (1990). Sure, you could spend around five hours watching all three - like a SUCKER! Or you could save time like someone smart and just watch Rangers! Yes, Rangers wasn’t so much directed by Jim Wynorski as it was cobbled together from different sources by him and a team of editors. 

Evidently, it also contains footage from The Delta Force (1986) and The Hidden (1987), as if they felt they needed material from a total of five movies because they were in serious danger of creating too much of their own original content. We wonder if it’s fun for filmmakers to assemble a movie in this fashion. After all, they have to try and match the sets of certain scenes so they can be edited together. For example, the set designers for what remains of the original production of Rangers had to make an office space that resembled the one from the climax of Invasion USA, so it would match. But then again, in many other scenes, the cobbles don’t match at all, and it seems like they just don’t care.

But maybe that’s where the fun of Rangers lies - watching in amusement and mild incredulity that the filmmakers would try to pass off a patchwork quilt as one original piece. Who did they think they were fooling? Perhaps less-sophisticated moviegoers were their intended audience, but if you’re watching Rangers, the odds are very good you’ve also seen the movies it’s edited from. 

No one skips directly to Rangers without watching at least some of the others. We’re pretty sure that’s never happened. Clearly the budget wasn’t there for large action setpieces, and it’s just more economical to simply buy them from other movies. We realize this is pretty common in latter-day DTV outings, but it’s never more extensive or blatant as it is in Rangers.

But, piecemeal nature aside, if you’ve ever wanted to see Lloyd Braun of Seinfeld fame shoot people and savagely murder them, now is your chance. Matt McCoy’s faces are truly funny to observe, and the only thing that would make this better is if, while he was unloading his machine gun, he was shouting “SERENITY NOW!!!!!” Sadly, this doesn’t happen, even though his stint on Seinfeld was pretty close time-wise to his role here. Clearly the casting people saw McCoy as Lloyd Braun and thought “that would be perfect casting for our hard-ass Army Ranger”. It all just adds to the off-kilter, “this shouldn’t exist” vibe of Rangers. So if the shooting, blow-ups, inserted footage from other movies, and pre-9/11 Islamic terrorism doesn’t hold your interest, surely McCoy’s wide-eyed mugging will.

While Corbin Bernsen is in it for a few minutes, the movie is pretty much stolen by one Dartanyan Edmonds as Fenton. We’re thinking he may be the lost musketeer. He gets all the good lines and has some nice charisma and screen presence. The movie would be worse off without him. Glenn Plummer also tries nobly to save the sinking ship, but it’s truly a case of “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic”. Still, you’ve got to admire the guy for trying.

So if you’re looking for anything remotely close to military or cinematic accuracy, run screaming in the other direction from Rangers. If you want a movie (well, technically, six movies all told) with a rock-bottom budget filled with unabashed stupidity just to have a larf, well, Rangers is certainly that.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

Dead Aim (1987)

Dead Aim (1987)-* * *

AKA: Mace

Directed by: William Vanderkloot

Starring: Ed Marinaro, Corbin Bernsen, Harry Goz, William Sanderson, Sandi Brannon, Darrell Larson, Lynn Whitfield, Rick Washburn, and Isaac Hayes











Detective Malcolm “Mace” Douglas (Marinaro) is a cop who plays by his own rules and has a bad attitude. His partner Cain (Larson) is the opposite: a clean-cut, by the book kind of guy. While working the vice squad, they see the seamier side of life on the Atlanta streets: drugs, prostitutes, and street crimes of all types. When the strippers at the Fool’s Paradise club start dying of supposed heroin overdoses, Mace investigates and finds that there’s a conspiracy that goes somewhere...oh yeah...all the way to the top! The FBI and the KGB are involved, with connections to a shadowy figure hiding behind his “diplomatic immunity” (Goz) and his partner Flexnor (Washburn). Will Mace mace his way through this maze?

Dead Aim is an entertaining cop drama/thriller with Ed Marinaro fitting the role of the Cop On The Edge nicely. One of the things about this movie that is so enjoyable are all the classic cop cliches: There’s the prerequisite BYC (the Black Yelling Chief for those who don’t read the site regularly), he yells that Mace has “the highest mortality rate in Metro!”, and naturally, thanks to Mace’s rogue ways, later in the film he says the classic “give me your gun and badge!” There are other cliches as well, but thankfully they’re all done well, and Dead Aim as a whole is not bad thanks to some good acting, decent ideas and a few nice directorial touches.

There’s an attempt at some realism, and the plot that delves into the seamier side of life is reminiscent of Stripped To Kill (1987) and the Wings Hauser vehicle Vice Squad (1982), among others, as it was a popular subject at the time. You gotta love that red lighting and neon atmosphere. The fact that there’s a stripper named Misty (Sandi Brannon) should tell you all you need to know: we can all nostalgically sigh about when girls were named “Misty”...it truly was a different time.

And while Ed Marinaro wouldn’t wow us again until The Protector (1999), let’s not forget about his co-stars here: Corbin Bernsen of all people is on board right before his success with L.A. Law happened. Isaac Hayes plays Jamal, a crime lord with an unidentifiable accent and some cool threads. For no explained reason, he’s protected by an army of Asians at all times. Besides the aforementioned Washburn and Goz, there’s also William Sanderson as the lab tech, and William Windom is here too. So the cast does add some extra texture to this tale.

So for more of the quality end of the sleaze spectrum (it’s really not all that sleazy), see Dead Aim, as it remains a cliche-ridden good time. Keep in mind that’s not an insult. Vestron released it on VHS back in the good old days. If you can find it cheap, check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Three The Hard Way (1974)

Three The Hard Way (1974)-* * *

Directed by: Gordon Parks Jr.

Starring: Jim Brown, Fred Williamson, Jim Kelly, Sheila Frazier, Jay Robinson, Corbin Bernsen, Jeannie Bell, Irene Tsu, and Alex Rocco












When diabolical racist/fascist/evil white cracker Monroe Feather (Robinson), with the help of fellow evil whitey, scientist Dr. Fortrero (Richard Angarola) invent a red serum that is harmless to whites and lethal to blacks and plan to dump it in the water supplies of Washington D.C., Detroit and L.A., they didn't count on one thing - the awesome power of Jimmy Lait (Brown), Jagger Daniels (Williamson) and Mister Keyes (Kelly)! Can this team of righteous soul brothers take down Feather's budding, red-beret wearing neo-Nazi organization, or will millions of African-Americans perish?

They really, truly do not make them like this anymore. Films like this should be treasured. Just look at the tagline on the poster above. Can you imagine a movie coming out today that proudly, in big red letters, proclaims that they are going to save their race? Three the Hard Way, besides being a clever title (three dudes, three cities that must be saved, and three dominatrixes, but more on that later), is a golden age of blaxploitation gem. It is filled to the brim with jive talk, fly threads and funky tunes. It also has plenty of action, and who better to dispense it than the three coolest men in cinema at the time - all in one place!

Jim Brown as Lait is a successful record producer. He's so good at what he does, his collars are bigger than pizza slices, he drives a Rolls Royce with "LAIT" as the license plate, and tells the Impressions what to do in the studio. He even produces his own theme song, sung by the Impressions! The action kicks off when Feather's goons kidnap his old lady, Wendy (Frazier), and Lt. Di Nisco (Rocco) is more interested in Lait than in the bad guys. So Lait calls in his buddies Daniels and Keyes to dispense some justice with a blue van filled with automatic weapons. Mister Keyes even predates Mr. T as being a legal name, and they even have the same reasons ("so people will have to call me Mister" - although T might have the edge because his legal middle name is a dot).

Kelly gets to make more of his trademark, pre-Billy Blanks funny faces and noises, and there's even a scene which must have fulfilled the fantasies of the urban, inner-city audiences this played to at the time, where a bunch of cops harass him and try to arrest him and he beats them all up with style and aplomb and rides away. Fred Williamson is as cool and charming as ever as the cigar-chomping Daniels. A standout scene occurs when three women, Countess (Pamela Serpe), Princess (Marie O'Henry) and Empress (Tsu) ride in on red white and blue motorcycles, with outfits to match. It seems they are a team of dominatrixes and this is how our Three the Hard Way boys get the information they need. Perhaps this was such an appealing concept it inspired the movie Ebony, Ivory and Jade (1976).

Three the Hard Way is a much better version of the team-up concept than the much later Williamson/Brown outing On the Edge (2002), and provides a lot of the obvious inspiration behind the parodies I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) and Black Dynamite (2008). Additionally, besides the impressive on-screen talent (we didn't even mention an appearance by TNT Jackson herself, Jeannie Bell), there are some big names behind the camera as well - director Gordon Parks Jr, cinematographer Lucien Ballard, and a stunt department that includes Hal Needham, Bob Minor and Buddy Joe Hooker, among others...you can really learn a lot if you read the credits! All of this came together in the end to produce an above-average blaxploitation film.

While it does start to drag a bit right before the climax, travel back in time to when cars were gigantic and boatlike, and when Williamson, Brown and Kelly were the undisputed kings of soulful action.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Breaking Point (1989)

Breaking Point (1989)-* *1\2

Directed by: Peter Markle

Starring: Corbin Bernsen, John Glover, Joanna Pacula, Andrew Divoff












Breaking Point could have been better. Corbin Bernsen plays Officer Pike. He is drugged and tortured by Nazis. The Nazis think he has information on plans for another invasion. Pike can't remember anything about this. He is also being helped by Dr. Gerber (John Glover)and Diana (Joanna Pacula) to recover from his memory loss. But Pike begins to think that Dr. Gerber has a different intention for him.

Corbin Bernsen and John Glover are very good in their roles. The movie begins to lose energy by the third act. There's no need for any gunfights. The pacing is also a problem, because some scenes go on forever.

In the end: If you are looking for a WWII drama, this is a decent choice. It's suspenseful, but a little boring at times.

Comeuppance review by: Ty

Ring Of The Musketeers (1992)

Ring Of The Musketeers (1992) -* * *

Directed By: John Paragon

Starring: David Hasselhoff, Corbin Bernsen, Alison Doody, John-Rhys-Davies, Timothy Stack, Cassandra Petersen, Ricky Jay, Brandscombe Richmond, and Cheech Marin










 Look at that cover. Just...look at it.


Hopefully in a few years, "Ring Of The Musketeers" will become a cult classic. It has everything you want: David Hasselhoff "acting" and "singing", Cheech Marin being a Mexican stereotype, and lots more!  John Smith D'Artagnan played by The Hoff, is a musketeer. Smith and his two other musketeers fight crime for a living. Smith seeks out the missing fourth musketeer, who is played by Cheech. The whole movie is fun. Cheech tells jokes, and The Hoff doesn't laugh. It's great.

Hasselhoff thinks he's doing Shakespeare with this film. Watch it tonight Or buy it! I did!



Comeuppance Review by: Ty