Snow Kill (1990)

Snow Kill (1990)- * *

Directed by: Thomas J. Wright

Starring: Joey Travolta, Jon Cypher, Patty D'Arbanville, David Dukes, Terence Knox, Clayton Rohner, Lee Arenberg, and Branscombe Richmond

Forced to go on one of those annoying "corporate retreats" by their boss, Reid (Cypher), a small group of young professionals - who include Myles (Travolta), Lauren (D'Arbanville), and Dennis (Rohner) - head out to the snowy Cascades in Utah. While they all innocently think they're going to do some snow stuff and then go home, they get a rude awakening when a gang of baddies come upon them. The leader is Murdoch (Dukes), and his partners in crime are Loomis (Richmond) and Kolt (Arenberg). Murdoch just wants to get his backpack full of cocaine and head back into civilization. But the presence of the heroic Clayton Thorpe (Knox) puts a crimp in their evil plans. Soon, it's a battle of the corporate raiders versus the actual raiders. Who will come out alive - and who will be a victim of a SNOW KILL?


In the grand (?) tradition of White Fury (1989) and Icebreaker (2000) comes Snow Kill - the TV Movie version of the snowbound action/survival movie. With elements of like-minded efforts like Fear (1988) and Damned River (1989), this doesn't offer much of anything different, except for a few silly moments. But the silliness is few and far between, and it's not terribly interesting or exciting either. It doesn't go far enough in any one direction. Consequently, it's not all that memorable.


Because there are only traces of silly, and the pace is slack, the audience is left wanting more. If Snow Kill had been 80 minutes and had excitement and energy, we could be looking at a minor classic. Unfortunately, that was too much to ask for this middle-of-the-road effort.


If you tell anyone you're going to watch Snow Kill with David Dukes, make sure you avoid any confusion and really impress upon them the fact that it's Dukes with an S. His performance as the mustachioed baddie is one of the better aspects of the film. Terence Knox is certainly wooden here as the savior in white (remember again that it's David DUKES as the baddie). This is no Tripwire (1989), that's for sure.


The boss, Reid, looks a lot like Lloyd Bridges, and the whole thing is like Extreme Ops (2002), but featuring an older demographic. Joey Travolta is his classic wacky self, and he had already appeared in a film with similar subject matter (but done much better), Hunter's Blood (1986). He must like getting out in the wilderness.


One of the rare movie highlights appears when our group of protagonists first gets out of the office and out in the snow. They're all wearing snowsuits of one color (i.e. D'Arbanville has a pink one, the others have green, red, and blue ones, etc.) it's like Power Rangers. But without the power. Or the ranging.


Director Thomas J. Wright has worked almost exclusively in TV throughout his career, which might explain why his name is not that well known to the general moviegoing populace. One of his few forays into cinematic territory is the all-time classic No Holds Barred (1989). Hey, if you're going to make one theatrical film, make it a good one. If only more of the vibe of No Holds Barred could have been present in Snow Kill, made only the following year. Oh well.


You won't exactly be on the edge of the seat of your ski gondola, but perhaps Snow Kill might be a one-time watch for TV Movie enthusiasts or those looking for something just silly enough to be mildly - very mildly - entertained.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty
 

To The Limit (1995)

To The Limit (1995)- * *1\2

Directed by: Raymond Martino

Starring: Anna Nicole Smith, Joey Travolta, John Aprea, David Proval, Jack Bannon, Gino Dentie, Floyd Levine, Branscombe Richmond, and Michael Nouri















When a baddie named Arthur Jameson (Bannon), who is so evil he has the ability to blow up helicopters using nothing more than a CD-ROM flight simulator, crosses the wrong woman, Colette Dubois (Smith), all hell breaks loose. In order to avenge the death of her husband, China Smith (Nouri, presumably no relation to Anna Nicole), it turns out Colette must team up with Vietnam vet Frank Davinci (Travolta). While Davinci has enemies of his own, he also has a support system of fellow goombahs such as Elvis (Dentie), Don Williams (Richmond), and Father Rich (Levine). As an ex-CIA agent, Colette has skills of her own. Will the unholy marriage of mobsters and disgruntled ex-government officials prove too much of a challenge for Frank and Colette? Or will your patience be tested…TO THE LIMIT?



While watching To The Limit, you can practically hear the sound of whirring VHS tape as guys who were in their teens and twenties in the 90’s fast-forwarded to get to the Anna Nicole Smith nudity. However, as this is a PM-produced action movie, we tried to keep the action elements in mind, and there are plenty of gunfights, blow-ups (including not one, but two helicopters), and PM’s time-honored car flip/blow-up that has become so near and dear to our hearts over the years. PM had a pip of an exploitable element in Smith; sometimes, in our nation’s darkest days, Joey Travolta alone isn’t enough to get a potential renter to pull a movie off of a video store shelf. 



You have to remember it was the go-go 90’s, and renting To The Limit carried with it less embarrassment than renting a Playboy video (though that’s debatable). Interestingly enough, this is a sequel to Davinci’s War (1993), of all things. Anna Nicole’s PM follow-up, Skyscraper (1996), came the next year. A lot of the same cast and crew of Davinci’s War came back for this particular outing, and it’s easy to hear a variation of this phrase being said during a pre-production meeting: “we’ll produce your film if you put Anna Nicole Smith in it”. That may be just one of the reasons why this movie makes no sense in the plot department and is pretty much a jumble from start to finish. But it matters not – we would say that you would have to watch Davinci’s War or Skyscraper first or this movie would make no sense, but the fact is that it makes no sense whether you see those movies first or not.

Though it must be noted that Davinci has a Vietnam flashback where he runs from an explosion in slow motion, and it also must be noted that in the scenes where she wears a brunette wig, Anna Nicole looks alarmingly like Monica Lewinsky. In most of these scenes, she’s talking to Travolta, who looks like George Carlin. At least they have similar hair. Travolta and Carlin I mean. So if you’ve ever wanted to see what it looks like for Monica Lewinsky and George Carlin to have a conversation, now’s your chance. There’s also a guy named Philly Bambino in the movie (Aprea). They couldn’t even get Vanity to reprise her role of Lupe.

Of course, To The Limit makes no sense as a mishmash of Davinci’s War sequel/Playboy video/PM action movie, but you knew that going in, didn’t you? Finding a VHS tape like To The Limit at your local video store was all part of the fun of that era. Thanks to Amazon Prime (as of this writing), you can relive it.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett 

The Taking Of Beverly Hills (1991)

The Taking Of Beverly Hills (1991)- *

Directed by: Sidney J. Furie

Starring: Ken Wahl, Robert Davi, Lee Ving, Matt Frewer, Harley Jane Kozak, and Branscombe Richmond


 “Beverly Hills is Closed."










Boomer Hayes (Wahl) is a big stupid meathead named Boomer Hayes. He happens to live in Beverly Hills, California, which, to his dismay, is being “taken” by Lee Ving and his gang of fraudulent cops. They organize a fake chemical spill in order to get the uber-rich out of their tony mansions so they can then steal all their expensive stuff. 

Seems like a great plan, right? Well, Boomer Hayes reckons he can put a stop to it. Utilizing all the skills he learned on the gridiron, as well as all the intelligence that would imply, he teams up with real police officer Kelvin (Frewer), who originally was with the baddies but defected back to the good guys. Masterson (Davi) is the mastermind of the operation, and Boomer’s quest involves saving the love of his life/woman he just met that night, Laura (Kozak). Will Boomer single-handedly take back Beverly Hills?

Right from the jump, something seems off about The Taking of Beverly Hills. Sure, it’s a “DieHardInA” movie, but its low-budget, shot-in-Mexico vibe is clearly evident, and the scenes almost feel like they’re in the wrong order, or something. Beginning with an unnecessarily long intro/credits sequence/travelogue, and continuing through to the mixed-up scenes, bad humor and amazingly inane dialogue, not to mention the generic aspects of the plot, The Taking of Beverly Hills is one big - as Boomer might say - fumble. 

It’s not that the concept of a Die-Hard-In-A-Town that has to be saved by an ex-footballer is a bad idea per se, it’s the pain of seeing a potentially awesome movie fall apart right before your very eyes. We hate to see when an idea isn’t properly capitalized on, and here is a prime example.

The problem is you’re not invested in the characters, and you can’t really care about Boomer as a triumphant hero. He’s so much of a meathead, he can only think in terms of football analogies to anything that happens to him. So while there are a bunch of cool explosions, car stunts, shooting and general blow-ups and mayhem that ensues, it’s really all for naught, because we don’t really care anyway. 

We really, really wanted to care. But the movie wouldn’t allow us to. Matt Frewer played the typical, whining “regular guy” caught up in the action situations. There’s always a complainer. During a car chase, you know a movie is poorly written when the sidekick says something like “I think this is a bad idea!!!!!” Scooby-Doo has less audience-insulting dialogue than that. The end result is that Boomer Hayes is no more than a talking mullet.

So while Wahl’s mullet is both extraordinary and distracting, Branscombe Richmond attempts to steal focus away from whatever that is that’s on Wahl’s head by driving a tank and screaming while shooting a flamethrower. While those moments were indeed cool, the overall tidal wave of dumbness washes over every second of the movie. 

As far as the music, we liked the Jan Hammer score, and of course there is the time-honored sax on the soundtrack as well, but there are all these weirdly unnecessary hits of the day on the soundtrack too. The filmmakers must have paid a bundle for them. At random times we get EMF’s “Unbelievable” and Faith No More’s “Epic”, almost as if a little punk 14-year-old snuck into the editing room after hours and added them on as some sort of prank. But then again, you haven’t heard Janet Jackson’s “Black Cat” until you’ve heard a snippet of it tacked-on to The Taking of Beverly Hills.

The long career of director Sidney J. Furie is spotty at best: there’s the good, Direct Action (2004), the okay, The Rage (1997), and the downright awful, Detention (2003). The Taking is quite mediocre and appears no one really had much faith in the project. Fan favorite Robert Davi does what he can, and we loved seeing him brandish a crossbow, but for much better Davi, see The Dangerous (1995) instead. You’d be “Taking” up a lot of your valuable time if you waste it on an unfortunate dud like this.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Da Vinci's War (1993)

Da Vinci's War (1993)- * *

Directed by: Raymond Martino

Starring: Joey Travolta, James Russo, Vanity, Richard Foronjy, Branscombe Richmond, Melissa Moore, Harold Joseph Green, Sam Jones, and Michael Nouri












When his sister is violently murdered by arch-baddie Mintz (Russo), Frank Da Vinci (Travolta) wants revenge. Da Vinci, a highly-decorated Vietnam vet, wants to leave his past behind him and move on with his life, getting involved with his local mission, and forging a relationship with the religious Lupe (Vanity), who cares for his young niece when he's not around. 

But Da Vinci is also still in touch with his 'Nam buddies, who all have too-appropriate nicknames such as the Shakespeare-quoting Hamlet (Foronjy), the guy in the wheelchair named Wheels (Green), and the guy of unimportant Asian origin that may or may not be Hawaiian, Don Ho (Richmond), among others. But even Da Vinci's ever-loyal charges aren't enough to get to the bottom of the murder of his beloved sibling, so he enlists the help of hired killer China Smith (Nouri). 

At first Smith doesn't want to be bothered with Da Vinci and would rather concentrate on his girlfriend, mysteriously named Fred (Moore). But after inexplicably talking to his computer (the computer never responds), he gets some info on Da Vinci that changes his mind, and he enlists in DA VINCI'S WAR. But will there be victory or defeat?

 The original Da Vinci code, this is pretty much an Italian-American variant on Gordon's War (1973), right down to the title. But this particular War is about as "Direct To Video" as it gets in its look and feel. Around these parts, however, that's not considered a negative, but other people might want to be forewarned about the low-budget vibe. 

Director Martino is a largely un-talked about figure in the DTV world, having worked a lot with City Lights/PM and been involved with their Anna Nicole Smithsploitation in the 90's. He obviously spent his budget on the stellar B-movie cast, which besides the aforementioned names also features fan favorite Sam Jones, as well as Bob Golic and a whole bunch of Travoltas, such as Rachel, Nicole, and Sam (the latter behind the camera, along with Addison Randall).

 Joey, quite possibly the most talented Travolta to date, is initially unrecognizable with his facial hair. But once he utters the immortal line “Aw Geez!”(in a surprisingly dramatic reading of that Travolta-ism) we know it can only be him. In other cast news, there’s also Gino Dentie, who released the “Direct Disco” album in the 70’s, and who also collaborated on the song “Da Vinci’s March” with Branscombe Richmond. So there’s more than enough on-screen talent, but it doesn’t entirely translate into a wholly enjoyable and completely cohesive final product.

What’s good about Da Vinci’s War is that it is from a time before Tarantino knockoffs polluted the market. And that both James Russo and Joey Travolta, at different points, walk in slow motion, thus looking cool. Plus Michael Nouri gets a great intro to his character. 

What’s bad about Da Vinci’s War is that it falls prey to the typical low budget pitfalls: stodgy acting, a stiff feel, and low-energy valleys that we as viewers have to go through. Not to say that there aren’t a few okay moments (not to mention some unintentionally funny moments), but the balance isn’t always in the movie’s favor.

While the epilogue after the movie states that it is dedicated to all the homeless veterans, the sentiment is undercut somewhat due to the fact that on a banner over all the vets, they misspelled the word “homeless”! If they’re trying to get our sympathy by informing us of the “homless” vets, they should run their banner through spell check. Unless the point is to announce their lack of hom. Or maybe they’re going the route of little moppets selling lemonade with a sign with a few backwards letters in order to draw us in. Our vets deserve better than that. But the banner is over what can only be described as a shuffling “Homeless Veteran’s Choir” and they all sing, led by Vanity of course. So that must be a movie first.

In the end, Da Vinci’s War sports a never-to-be-replicated cast assemblage, but it lacks the forceful punch it could have had.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Hero and the Terror (1988)

Hero and the Terror (1988)- * * *

Directed by: William Tannen

Starring: Chuck Norris, Steve James, Billy Drago, Branscombe Richmond, Jack O'Halloran, Brynn Thayer, and Ron O'Neal












Danny O’Brien (Chuck) is an L.A. area cop who is still reeling from his encounter with a psychopathic, murderous maniac named Simon Moon (O’Halloran). O’Brien exorcises his demons pumping iron in the weight room. Moon is so scary, he’s been nicknamed “The Terror” by the press. However, O’Brien has also been nicknamed. To the residents of L.A., he’s “The Hero”. Starting to see where this is going? Anyway, Chuck hates his nickname, and  just wants to spend time with his lovely wife Kay (Thayer), who is pregnant. But the Mayor of L.A. (O’Neal) wants results on The Terror case. 

So O’Brien calls in his buddy Robinson (James) to help out. The two suspect that the baddie is hiding out in the bowels of the Wiltern Theater, which sets the stage for the final battle. Who will prevail: The Hero or The Terror? Find out today…

Simply speaking, The Hero and The Terror is classic 80’s Chuck. It might not be one of his more talked-about titles, but it’s well worth seeing. It’s kind of like a better version of Silent Rage (1982), insofar as it’s about a psycho killer and Chuck’s chasing him, while doing minimal Martial Arts. If you have to see one of those two movies, see this one. 

It’s a quality production: it’s excellently shot, with very nice cinematography, the cast is top-notch, and it all exudes an aura of professionalism. It’s not at all junky, and it would have been very cool to see this in the theater in ’88.

Chuck puts in a great performance, that of a troubled hero haunted by The Terror, while still striving to be a rock of stability and companionship for his wife. Fan favorite Steve James is as charismatic as ever, and is always a joy to watch. He even wears the same WrestleMania hat as he does in McBain (1991). That must make us truly hardcore Steve James fans to notice a detail like that. Ron O’Neal does a decent job as “The Mayor”, and Billy Drago has a glorified cameo as a doctor. Come to think of it, it’s not all that glorified.

We very much enjoyed the slower pace of this film. Slow pace doesn’t equal bad: bad equals bad. We’re against the notion that MTV-style fast cuts and ADD-afflicted editing should be the standard we all have to now live by. So by that logic if a movie isn’t moving at a breakneck pace, it’s no good? We reject that entirely. 

Bring us back to the days when a pace was meant to draw you in and you could get to know the characters. So we applaud director Tannen for that. He went on to be a co-director of Inside Edge (1992), which also featured Branscombe Richmond, as does HATT, as all the cool kids call it (i.e., this movie).

For straight down-the-line and above board Chuck, Hero and the Terror is a great choice. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

No Safe Haven (1987)

No Safe Haven (1987)-* *1\2

Directed by: Ronnie Rondell Jr.

Starring: Wings Hauser, Robert Tessier, Tom Campitelli, and Branscombe Richmond











Clete Harris (Hauser) is a CIA agent who is undercover in Honduras, using a remote Peace Corps station for his base. When he finds out his beloved brother Buddy (Campitelli), a star football player, was murdered in a drug deal gone wrong, Clete comes back to America to find the culprit. This evildoer even killed his own mother. It turns out it’s psychotic gangster Manuel (Richmond) and his gang of goons. Clete then makes it his mission to track them all down and get revenge. To help him in this mission, he recruits Popeye (Tessier), a survivalist type. They both end up in Bolivia and the final battle ensues.

No Safe Haven starts humorously enough, with Branscombe Richmond screaming while shooting his guns, and a Roger Corman-style “fast motion” car chase follows. Once Wings appears on screen, we remember why we’re watching this. He brings his classic charisma in spades.  Richmond makes a great baddie, and his over-the-top yelling and drug-running, loan-sharking evilness make you want to see more of his work. He makes a great villain to play opposite the lovable Wings.

Robert Tessier almost steals the movie as the down-and-dirty Popeye. True to his name, he even proudly sports a corncob pipe! Thankfully he also has his no-shirt-and-jean-jacket combo as well to round out his wardrobe. It was nice to see him in a kindlier performance. He can easily play a heavy, as evidenced in Future Zone (1990).

This movie is the only directorial effort to date from Ronnie Rondell, a man well-known in the stunt world. His inexperience shows in some of the pacing - it slows way down before the climax, which is a common pitfall, but the movie becomes an El Presidente flick seemingly out of the blue right at the last minute. While that might seem a bit mundane, the reason, presumably, why it happens in the first place is that Clete and Popeye’s revenge mission is so uncontrollable and grandiose, they want to get revenge on cocaine itself! And seeing as how we may have just built this solid, but small B-film up to heights it doesn’t really reach, we should mention how clunky some of the acting by the non-leads is. Just check out the Harris mother.

One of the more interesting things about No Safe Haven is the box art. It seems to be a specially posed picture in a studio by Wings. It wasn’t taken right from the movie, it is its own photography.  And the theme song of the film, played during the end credits is “dream girls”, by none other than Isaac Hayes! That was a surprise. Too bad he wasn’t in the movie as an actor.

In all, No Safe (as all the cool people call it) is enjoyable because of the main presence of Wings Hauser, and to a lesser extent Robert Tessier and Branscombe Richmond. Without these guys, it would have been a different and more trying experience. Thank goodness for them.

Also check out our Wings buddy DTVC's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

C.I.A. II: Target Alexa (1993)

C.I.A. II: Target Alexa-* *1\2

Directed by: Lorenzo Lamas

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Kathleen Kinmont, Pamela Dixon, Al Sapienza, Larry Manetti, Branscombe Richmond, and John Savage










Since the last “CIA” film, Alexa (Kinmont) has given up working for the government and now relaxes in a small town, content to raise her daughter on a horse ranch. She thought she put her former life behind her, but Graver (Lamas) comes back into the picture. He asks her to infiltrate yet another criminal organization, to get yet another microchip, which would control yet more nuclear weapons. This time around, the main baddie is Franz Kluge (Savage), and his henchmen are Straker (Ryan) and Lana (Fetrick). Will Graver and Alexa be able to work together again to defeat the bad guys? And who can you really trust?

Lorenzo Lamas must really care about the CIA franchise (such as it was at the time) and the character of Graver, because he stepped into the director’s chair for this one. Sure, this movie didn’t really need to be made, as it covers very similar ground to the first film while not being as good - but this movie is a lot funnier than the first one. The dialogue is sillier than ever before and some of the situations are pretty ridiculous. But it all has the backing of the classic PM stuntwork and blow-ups behind it.

Alexa’s daughter has a horse named Fred the Horse, Lamas continues on with his tank top/black hat combos for his wardrobe, and his hair is much funnier and more feminine this time around. It’s truly “dueling ponytails” for both him and Kinmont. John Ryan was last seen as the baddie from American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993), and his name in the film, Straker, is one we’ve seen before (last seen being used by Richard Norton in Raiders of the Sun, 1992). John Savage plays a toned-down, but very similar character to the one he played in Red Scorpion 2 (1994), and he even has some dialogue involving scorpions. Weird, eh? Plus his international criminal organization seems like a boy scout camp, and his minions even dress that way.

Lori Fetrick is mainly known to American Gladiators fans as Ice, and her presence here shows this film as pure 90’s. She looks like Jenna Jameson but with much more ripped arms. I wonder why OJ Simpson didn’t return for this sequel?

While not strictly one of the better PM’s, this does have comedy, chemistry between Lamas and Kinmont, and does have the Lamas you want to see, all told. It has another noteworthy Louis Febre score, plenty of blow-ups and shooting, and is still of a good quality all around.

While it can be confusing trying to determine the difference between “Code Name Alexa” and “Target Alexa”, if you must see only one, go with the first (Code Name). But this one isn’t bad at all, it’s still worth watching. It’s just a little bit unnecessary.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Action Jackson (1988)

Action Jackson (1988)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Craig R. Baxley

Starring: Carl Weathers, Craig T. Nelson, Vanity, Sharon Stone, Thomas F. Wilson, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham, James Lew, Charles Meshack, Al Leong, Bob Minor, Branscombe Richmond, and Robert Davi












Carl Weathers displays his winning charm in yet another title role. Weathers IS Detroit cop Jericho "Action" Jackson - and you know with a nickname like that he doesn’t mess around. Evil, megalomaniacal auto magnate Peter Dellaplane (Nelson) is killing off AWA (Auto Workers Alliance) members in order to keep a stranglehold on his already-impressive power. Dellaplane and Jackson have a past, as Jackson was demoted after roughing up his son before sending him to prison. Ignoring the fact that his wife is Sharon Stone in her prime years of hotness, Dellaplane also has a chick on the side, Sydney (Vanity), who he keeps drugged up with heroin. Sydney and Jackson now must team up to take down Dellaplane before he can frame Jackson for his many murders.

Ah, the golden 80’s. Just take a second to pause and reflect about that magical decade. Back to the review at hand, Action Jackson is classic 80’s action, reminiscent of Arnold vehicles such as Raw Deal (1986). It’s well-shot, and unusually well-written, with plenty of clever jokes and dialogue. But the film also has all the action the underground action movies have, but this came out in a time when things like this came to the theater and had a moderate-to-big budget behind them.

Besides the aforementioned Sharon Stone and Vanity, Weathers has an impressive cast to back him up: Bill Duke as the classic BYC (Black Yelling Chief), Thomas F. Wilson (Biff of Back to the Future, 1985 fame) as the joke-telling uniformed officer, Bob Minor as the evil assassin Gamble, Nicholas Worth as Dellaplane’s butler, Al Leong as Dellaplane’s chauffeur, James Lew as Dellaplane’s martial arts instructor, Charles Meshack of Fear (1988) fame, Sonny Landham and the ubiquitous Branscombe Richmond. It even has fan favorite Robert Davi in a small but important role. Last but not least is the “Coach” himself, Craig T. Nelson, looking more diabolical than usual, probably because of the hair. We even get to see him do some “Craig-Fu” - but does he really think he can beat Action Jackson in a fight?

The movie is funny, snappy and a great vehicle for Weathers’ charisma. But what else would you expect from director Baxley, the man behind Stone Cold (1991) and I Come In Peace (1990), among many others? It’s a product of a great time for cinema - and it’s also filled with great music, especially the title song by Madame X which you’ll be singing for days. It’s pretty tough to dislike this highly entertaining gem.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Cage (1989)

Cage (1989)-* * *

AKA: Sgt. Billy Thomas

Directed By: Lang Elliot

Starring: Lou Ferrigno, Reb Brown, Al Ruscio, Branscombe Richmond, Al Leong,  and Matthias Hues












Cage is an entertaining action pic from the 80’s.

The plot: Billy (Ferrigno) is a ‘Nam vet who tragically gets shot in the head on a mission. He survives but now is mentally challenged. He goes through a lot of grueling physical therapy and eventually becomes a productive member of society. He only has one friend, fellow vet Scott Monroe (Brown). Then slimy gangsters show up. They kidnap and brainwash Billy to go into the dangerous world of cage fighting. Scott must rescue his friend by going into the ring himself.



Cage is the only movie that delves deep into the idea of “Retard Strength”. This politically incorrect idea would never be made today. The fight sequences are brutal and predate UFC by decades. Cage was ahead of its time. Another movie of this ilk is called Shootfighter (1992) it stars Bolo Yeung. Lou Ferrigno puts in a sensitive performance as exemplified in his first fight scene when he jovially introduces himself to his mean opponent, with the now-immortal line “Hi!, I’m Billy!” Billy doesn’t want to fight and he is a sweet-natured man. But the gangsters attempt to corrupt him to be a fighting machine. Let’s not forget about Reb Brown and his classic yell. (e.g. Strike Commando (1987) and every movie Brown has been in.) Cage apparently had so many fans clamoring for more “Cagey” goodness a sequel was thankfully released 5 years later!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Ring Of The Musketeers (1992)

Ring Of The Musketeers (1992) -* * *

Directed By: John Paragon

Starring: David Hasselhoff, Corbin Bernsen, Alison Doody, John-Rhys-Davies, Timothy Stack, Cassandra Petersen, Ricky Jay, Brandscombe Richmond, and Cheech Marin










 Look at that cover. Just...look at it.


Hopefully in a few years, "Ring Of The Musketeers" will become a cult classic. It has everything you want: David Hasselhoff "acting" and "singing", Cheech Marin being a Mexican stereotype, and lots more!  John Smith D'Artagnan played by The Hoff, is a musketeer. Smith and his two other musketeers fight crime for a living. Smith seeks out the missing fourth musketeer, who is played by Cheech. The whole movie is fun. Cheech tells jokes, and The Hoff doesn't laugh. It's great.

Hasselhoff thinks he's doing Shakespeare with this film. Watch it tonight Or buy it! I did!



Comeuppance Review by: Ty