SAS: San Salvador (1983)

SAS: San Salvador (1983)- *1\2

Directed by: Raoul Coutard

Starring: Miles O'Keefe, Raimund Harmstorf, Dagmar  Lassander, Sybil Danning, and Anton Diffring 









In the small South American country of San Salvador, a beloved archbishop is violently murdered. This sets off an already-volatile situation with the citizens and there are riots in the streets. The culprit is found to be arch-villain Enrico Chacon (Harmstorf) and naturally there’s only one man who can stop him: Malko Linge (O’Keeffe). 

Malko lives in a castle of his own (not to be confused with Coffin Joe of course), and apparently takes on assignments from the CIA in order to keep up his Austrian castle, which is in dire need of repair. His girlfriend Countess Alexandra (Danning) doesn’t seem to mind. So Malko goes to San Salvador and meets up with his contact Peter (Diffring) but seems to be distracted by wooing the ladies, including Maria Luisa (Lassander). Malko is going to have to get to fighting the baddies sooner or later, but will he complete his mission?

While it does open promisingly with a cool credits sequence, SAS is really just one in a long line of El Presidente/South America slogs we’ve seen over the years. When you look at how much time has gone by as you’re watching the movie and see only about 20 minutes or so has elapsed, it feels more onerous than usual. This is because it doesn’t feel like 20 minutes of its own movie, it feels like it was just added on to Cocaine Wars (1985), Overthrow (1987), Merchants of War (1989), McBain (1991), and so many others of this ilk. The minutes just seem added on to one long movie. And the distinct lack of action really hurts this one.

The cast is interesting, but unfortunately they can’t make the proceedings all that interesting: minor fan favorite O’Keeffe has some snappy outfits and closely resembles a statue. Malko is clearly the ultimate chick magnet, and it must be his way of exiting a building that makes him such a hit with the ladies (this one particular building exit is a movie highlight. You’ll know it when or if you see it). 

Sybil Danning is barely in the movie but she does get one of the best lines, “are you still playing samurai for the CIA?” - since this was at the beginning of the movie, we were hopeful the idea of a CIA samurai would come to fruition. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Dagmar Lassander, among other European people, play South Americans of Latin descent. Of course that includes Raimund Harmstorf of Thunder Warrior 2 (1987) and The Viking Sagas (1995) fame as Enrico Chacon, not to be confused with acclaimed Cat Stevens album Mona Bone Jakon, as the evil baddie and nemesis of Malko.

Interestingly, SAS was one of the few movies directed by Raoul Coutard, the famous cinematographer who was instrumental in the French New Wave movement, having worked with Godard on classics like Breathless (1960) and Band of Outsiders (1964). But by 1983, he was reduced to focusing his lens on Miles O’Keeffe in a Speedo. Of all people, you’d think Coutard would know the importance of action and pacing, but the pace is indeed slow and instead of solid action material, he fills the time with the standard moments of civil unrest, disco scenes and what you might call video store nudity.

Released by Vestron here in the U.S. and featuring the song La Colegiala by Son Caribe, you’ll be sendin’ out an SOS if you attempt to watch SAS.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

G. I. Executioner (1971)

The G. I. Executioner (1971)- *
AKA: Wit's End

Directed by: Joel M. Reed

Starring: Tom Keena, Angelique Pettyjohn, Janet Wood, and Victoria Racimo







Dave Dearborn (Keena) is a Vietnam vet who currently resides in Singapore. He runs a nightclub on a boat and has relationships with seemingly every woman in the area: Bonnie (Pettyjohn), Cindy (Wood) and Mai Lee (Racimo). Life seems good for old Dave Dearborn, but he wants more. 

When some mysterious individuals offer him the chance to investigate a case of a missing and perhaps kidnapped defector from communist China, Dearborn accepts the job. But things get (overly) complicated very quickly, and after some murders occur, he realizes he’s caught in a dangerous web of intrigue. Will he escape and live to carouse again?

Shot in 1971 but not released until Troma picked it up and it came out on Vestron in 1984 (back when Troma had a partnership with Vestron), “Wit’s End”, or as Troma misleadingly re-titled it, The G.I. Executioner, is a bland, dull, middling, mediocre affair, but it has some mildly exploitative elements (mainly nudity), and if it didn’t throw those crumbs to the audience, there would be nothing here. 

Director Joel M. Reed is primarily known for having directed Bloodsucking Freaks (1976), also reinforcing his relationship with Troma. Reed only directed six films in his career, and having seen four of them by now, I think it’s pretty safe to say there’s not a lot of meat there. When Bloodsucking Freaks is the crowning achievement of your directorial career, there’s definitely a problem.

As for our “hero”, Dave Dearborn, a (seemingly) 52-year old gentleman with thinning hair, who wears tan sansabelt slacks and white boat shoes, does indeed appear to be miscast as an action hero. Also he occasionally wears an ascot. He looks like he would be more at home with a cocktail in his hand at the golf club’s bar. Hey, Clint Eastwood is one of our all-time personal heroes, so it’s not his age we object to it’s just...he seems out of place, that’s all. Note that an accurate rendering of Dave Dearborn does not appear anywhere on the Troma-produced artwork for the film. 

Plus, in the movie (or possibly in real life as well, there’s no way of knowing) he both lives and works on a junk. We know that’s a type of boat, but it leads to strange dialogue such as “why did you come to my junk last night?”, etc. Notably, this is Tom Keena’s only film role to date.

The movie would be almost completely lifeless if it wasn’t for the music by a band called The Jason Garfield. It’s classic 60’s garage punk, and the title song, “Wit’s End”, with its chorus of “Wit’s E-e-e-nd, ah, ah, ah” is very catchy. Thankfully, a few of their songs play throughout the movie, which is good, but not enough to save it. 

In other opening credits news, there is a montage of things you’re about to see, including a few potential spoilers! It also says it was shot entirely in Singapore, but there may be some Philippines content as well. During the prerequisite torture scene, Dearborn is, inexplicably, forced to wear a tiny pink vest with gold sequins which barely fits him and looks like it belongs on a doll. Then another character enters the room, also wearing a tiny pink vest. No explanation is ever given as to why. Just one of the many mysteries in the story of the existence of The G.I. Executioner. The whole endeavor has a very flat, John Garwood-y feel, which is not a good thing.

You’ll be at your “wit’s end” by the end of this tough sit.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Good Guys Wear Black (1978)

Good Guys Wear Black (1978)-* *

Directed by: Ted Post

Starring: Chuck Norris and Anne Archer












John T. Booker (Chuck) is a former Vietnam commando who has blown up his fair share of huts and guard towers when in his prime. Five years after the end of the war, he’s living a peaceful life as a teacher and race car enthusiast in Riverside, California. There’s even a romance brewing with journalist Margaret (Archer), and all seems well. That is, until members of his former unit start being assassinated one by one. This sends John T. Booker on a quest to find out the truth behind the ruthless murders. He just may find that it’s a conspiracy that goes - you guessed it - all the way to the top. Will good guys wear black, or will good guys be DEAD? Find out today…

Good Guys Wear Black is a pretty early Chuck movie, and has an old-fashioned, staid vibe to it more suited to the TV movies of the day. We found it boring, talky, and it looks its age, and not in a good way. There isn’t even any Martial Arts until an HOUR into the movie. All that being said, there is a standout action setpiece around that point.

Chuck is a guy you can’t help but like, and, despite the annoyingly minimal character development (what else is new in the world of Chuck), his mustache is looking especially walrus-y this time around. Plus the opening credits sequence sets things up to be a lot cooler than what follows, with snazzy 70’s-era computer graphics and nice music. But then it goes into a ‘Nam sequence the viewer has trouble seeing, and interest starts to slip. From there it goes to some government yakety-yak, and interest slips even more. If not for Chuck’s superstache, this first half would have been a total waste.

Interestingly, though, Seagal ripped off Chuck once again - Chuck was first when playing the silent-but-intellectual professor, decades before “Professor Robert Burns”. Another thing going against the movie is the unusually fuzzy presentation from Vestron. This seems to be a rare lapse for the normally fine company. The visuals are dull and washed out. Maybe other presentations on other formats are better, we’re not sure. If you have another version, write in to let us know. But it all kind of cumulatively adds up against the viewer’s enjoyment. It made us aloof to most of the proceedings, and the slow, overlong nature of it all certainly didn’t help either.

We really wanted to like the movie more, and all it had to do was have Chuck fight more people, and have more scenes like the big action setpiece in the middle. That’s ALL it had to do to win us over. But no, there was too much mush clogging things up. So it’s all very middle-of-the-road, as way too many Chuck movies are, as things didn’t start to pick up for him until later in his career.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

Ransom (1977)

Ransom (1977)-* *

Directed by: Richard Compton

Starring: Oliver Reed, Stuart Whitman, Deborah Raffin, Paul Koslo, Jim Mitchum












Near Phoenix, Arizona, there’s a small town with the highest concentration of millionaires living there. When a psychopath in full Native American regalia (Koslo) sets up shop there and begins killing people with his bow and arrow, the townspeople soon realize he’s going to continue sniping people from long distances until he gets the millions of dollars he’s requesting.  So naturally Oliver Reed, Stuart Whitman and Jim Mitchum are called in to use their manliness to put an end to the madness. Will they succeed?

“Give me back my son!!!!!!”...is what you won’t be hearing in this tame, mediocre outing. Once again we’ve fallen prey to what we call “Lone Tiger Syndrome” - that being where we see a movie because of its stellar cast, and then are disappointed because many familiar B-movie names do not necessarily a good movie make. 

Fan favorite Jim Mitchum is decent as the cowboy Vietnam vet Tracker (great name) but he doesn’t get enough screen time to develop his character, a common problem in these “star-studded” affairs. We also love Oliver Reed, but, inexplicably, he resembles Jerry Lewis in the scenes where he wears sunglasses. A lot of his dialogue concerns his drink orders. We’ll leave it at that.

Stuart Whitman is always a professional, and Deborah Raffin of Death Wish 3 (1985) fame is onboard as the classic (and pretty cliche) female reporter. The standout character, once again, is Paul Koslo as the baddie. He strongly resembles Kurt Russell, and does a great job (not quite as great as his turn in The Annihilators 1985, but once again, he actually had screen time in that one).

While there are a handful of okay kill scenes and maybe a few chases (and one exploding helicopter), this movie is filled with, well...filler, and the whole outing is stodgy, kind of like The Hit Team (1971). The movie doesn’t fulfill the potential of the cast, and it’s just not exciting enough. 

The killer Indian should have had some goons, but perhaps the budget couldn’t allow for them because all the stars had to be paid first. Yet again we come back to the fact that there’s no one, singular character we care about. It’s all kind of a jumble with the multiple characters. Sure, Koslo tells his enemies they have to “pay the wind”, which is a precursor to Red Scorpion 2 (1994), but sadly the proceedings are slow and yawn-inducing.

As for the tape itself...no one sings the praises of Vestron more than we do, but they botched this one. It’s a horribly obvious pan-and-scan disgrace. They make it seem like the camera is resting on the seat of an exercise rowing machine that someone is tipping up, then tipping back. 

At least they used one of the more accurate of this movie’s many titles. Most of the others make it seem like it’s going to be a horror movie of some kind. If you do ever check this movie out, unfortunately we recommend NOT to view the Vestron tape.

Featuring the song “Victor’s Theme: Shoot Him” by none other than Roger McGuinn and Patrick Ferrell, Ransom leaves a lot to be desired. We’ve certainly seen a lot worse, but we wish the powerhouse cast would have done something more worthy of their talents.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Dead Aim (1987)

Dead Aim (1987)-* * *

AKA: Mace

Directed by: William Vanderkloot

Starring: Ed Marinaro, Corbin Bernsen, Harry Goz, William Sanderson, Sandi Brannon, Darrell Larson, Lynn Whitfield, Rick Washburn, and Isaac Hayes











Detective Malcolm “Mace” Douglas (Marinaro) is a cop who plays by his own rules and has a bad attitude. His partner Cain (Larson) is the opposite: a clean-cut, by the book kind of guy. While working the vice squad, they see the seamier side of life on the Atlanta streets: drugs, prostitutes, and street crimes of all types. When the strippers at the Fool’s Paradise club start dying of supposed heroin overdoses, Mace investigates and finds that there’s a conspiracy that goes somewhere...oh yeah...all the way to the top! The FBI and the KGB are involved, with connections to a shadowy figure hiding behind his “diplomatic immunity” (Goz) and his partner Flexnor (Washburn). Will Mace mace his way through this maze?

Dead Aim is an entertaining cop drama/thriller with Ed Marinaro fitting the role of the Cop On The Edge nicely. One of the things about this movie that is so enjoyable are all the classic cop cliches: There’s the prerequisite BYC (the Black Yelling Chief for those who don’t read the site regularly), he yells that Mace has “the highest mortality rate in Metro!”, and naturally, thanks to Mace’s rogue ways, later in the film he says the classic “give me your gun and badge!” There are other cliches as well, but thankfully they’re all done well, and Dead Aim as a whole is not bad thanks to some good acting, decent ideas and a few nice directorial touches.

There’s an attempt at some realism, and the plot that delves into the seamier side of life is reminiscent of Stripped To Kill (1987) and the Wings Hauser vehicle Vice Squad (1982), among others, as it was a popular subject at the time. You gotta love that red lighting and neon atmosphere. The fact that there’s a stripper named Misty (Sandi Brannon) should tell you all you need to know: we can all nostalgically sigh about when girls were named “Misty”...it truly was a different time.

And while Ed Marinaro wouldn’t wow us again until The Protector (1999), let’s not forget about his co-stars here: Corbin Bernsen of all people is on board right before his success with L.A. Law happened. Isaac Hayes plays Jamal, a crime lord with an unidentifiable accent and some cool threads. For no explained reason, he’s protected by an army of Asians at all times. Besides the aforementioned Washburn and Goz, there’s also William Sanderson as the lab tech, and William Windom is here too. So the cast does add some extra texture to this tale.

So for more of the quality end of the sleaze spectrum (it’s really not all that sleazy), see Dead Aim, as it remains a cliche-ridden good time. Keep in mind that’s not an insult. Vestron released it on VHS back in the good old days. If you can find it cheap, check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Deadly Impact (1984)

Deadly Impact (1984)-* *

Directed by: Fabrizio De Angelis

Starring: Fred Williamson, Bo Svenson, Marcia Clingan, John Morghen, and Vincent Conte












Computer nerd Harry J. Vincent ( ???) and his girlfriend Kathy (Marcia Clingan) have developed a system to manipulate slot machines and other games in Las Vegas. They make a bundle of money, and escape before they can be caught. But there’s a problem. The sadistic thugs Al (Morghen) and Kurt (Conte) also want their earnings. So it’s up to the cop Ryan (Svenson) and his helicopter-driver buddy Lou (Williamson) to track down the baddies and save the day.

The Italian film industry is noted for its “homages” to more popular films of the time (less charitable people would say “knockoffs” but in their creation they seem to become something altogether new - check out the Italian post-apocalypse films), and Deadly Impact seems to be cut from the same cloth as 48 Hrs. (1982). Instead of Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte, it’s Fred Williamson and Bo Svenson (who we would rather see anyway). Fred once again brings his magnetic personality, and he has good chemistry with the more hard-nosed Bo. They play ‘Nam buddies who will destroy any car to get the job done.

The car stunts are the highlight of this film. There are some definitely cool chases, jumps, flips and wrecks. But there isn’t really much in the plot department, and the film lacks one big, major bad guy. It could have used more goons for them to beat up/kill, or even some plot twists. Somewhat disappointingly, it’s a standard, down-the-line cops chasing baddies movie. Fabrizio DeAngelis AKA Larry Ludman, the legendary producer/director and the man behind Operation Nam (1986), delivers a competent, if a tad bland movie but with some standout stuntwork.

Let’s not forget the great John Morghen AKA Giovanni Lombardo Radice as one of the thugs. In real life a very cultured, educated man, he’s known for his thug roles and his appearances in Italian 80’s horror-boom movies. The silly dubbing washes away a lot of his - and others’- performances, but add a charm of their own at the same time. The same can be said of the music, which is enjoyable and catchy, but perhaps inappropriate to the scenes it is accompanying.

Though it was largely shot in Las Vegas and Phoenix, it still retains its Italian feel, and while it’s not exactly a must-see, fans of Italian action or the stars involved might want to check it out.

Released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Vestron label, Deadly Impact might not be the best example of Italian action, but as a way to while away an hour and a half, you could certainly do worse.

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, The Video Vacuum!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

2019: After The Fall Of New York (1983)

2019: After The Fall Of New York (1983)-* * *

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Michael Sopkiw, Romano Puppo, Edmund Purdom, Paolo Scalondro, and George Eastman











Classic Sopkiw.

Michael Sopkiw plays Parsifal, a guy who loves racing cars around the Arizona desert and basking in the love of his fans for beating his opponents on the post-apocalyptic racing circuit. But his world is interrupted when he’s summoned to a secret base by The President of the Pan-American Confederacy (Purdom). He’s informed that he must break into New York City - which is controlled by deadly gangs called the Euraks - to rescue a woman from their clutches who can perhaps help to replenish the depleted population of earth. He also gets assigned two helpers: Ratchet (Puppo), who’s supposed to be one of the strongest men left on the planet, and Bronx (Scalondro), a man who has memorized the map of New York. During their mission, the three men meet tons of trials and tribulations, not the least of which is New York’s serious rat problem. They meet many wacky characters along the way, such as Big Ape (Eastman). Will they get out of NYC alive and save the world? Find out today!

Despite being the pride of our home state, Connecticut, Sopkiw starred almost exclusively in Italian productions. Between 1983-1985 he appeared in 2019, then did two movies for Lamberto Bava: Blastfighter (1984) and Devil Fish (also 1984), then one more for Michele Massimo Tarantini, Massacre In Dinosaur Valley (1985) then all but disappeared. Just more evidence that the 80’s was awesome - Italian productions were flourishing, and stars like Sopkiw had venues to flower and we got to know them all through our local video stores.  Sadly, that time is over, but gems like 2019 provide much-appreciated artifacts from that golden time period.

2019 appears to be the result of Sergio Martino throwing his hat into the then-hot post-apocalyptic genre. The movie has all the insane outfits, wonderfully decorated sets, innovative weapons and vehicles with crazy crap glued to them that any Italian post-nuke movie would have, and that fans have grown to love and have become accustomed to. Of course that includes flamethrowers and “Pew Pew” lasers. These movies were primarily meant to entertain, and 2019 completely succeeds. It has the ultimate coolguy for a hero, plenty of wild situations intermixed with brutal violence, and the time-honored innovations we often talk about, ensuring an 80’s Video Store Classic.

Speaking of video stores (though when aren’t we?), when 2019 was released on VHS by Vestron, they dropped the 2019 and just went with After the Fall of New York. Could this be because they wanted to bring the similarities to Escape From New York (1981) front and center? Nah. Can’t be. But then Joe D’Amato’s 2020 Texas Gladiators (1984) presumably picked up where this movie left off? Regardless, the Guido and Maurizio DeAngelis music (using their pseudonym Oliver Onions) is typically solid and appropriately synthy and futuristic. Their soundtrack to Street Law (1974) is hard to beat, but this one is a winner as well.

The Media Blasters DVD is a must-own if you’re into the Italian post-apocalyptic genre. It looks great in widescreen and even has an intro from Michael Sopkiw. We recommend it.

Also check out write-ups from our buddies: RobotGEEK, The Video Vacuum, and Trash Film Guru!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Killzone (1985)

Killzone (1985)-* * *

Directed by: David A. Prior

Starring: Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, David Campbell, Simon Rhee, and William Zipp




 “Cut the chatter and listen hard”

Welcome to “Scare Camp”, a military training area designed in every detail to resemble the horrors of Vietnam-era POW camps. It even includes torture. All this to prepare the minds and bodies of soldiers for potential capture. The camp is run by Col. Crawford (Campbell), but Crawford gets a bit over-zealous, and one of the soldiers, McKenna (Matthews), finally snaps and totally flips out. He now thinks he’s actually back in ‘Nam and begins killing everyone in sight. Now Campbell has a big mess on his hands and he feels the best way to deal with it is to have McKenna eliminated. But one of McKenna’s buddies, Sgt. Mitchell (Prior) believes in him, and wants to bring him back to reality safely and not kill him. So now it’s a race against time between the two buddies and the people that want to destroy them. THIS military training exercise just got real.

This effort was only the second movie from the Prior brothers, and the first in a long line of jungle war tales. While resembling the same year’s Missing In Action II: The Beginning (1985), it couldn’t possibly be a knockoff, though Killzone has a much lower-budget feel to it because it didn’t have Cannon money financing it. Even AIP had technically yet to be born. But besides the Priors, it has other mainstays of their movies such as Fritz Matthews (who would really come into his own with Hell On The Battleground, 1989), William Zipp, and David Campbell. Even Simon Rhee is credited as being one of “Crawford’s Men”.

Combine the aforementioned MIA II with later Prior movie Deadly Prey (1987), and you have some idea of what’s going on here. Killzone is most definitely a dry run for the wonderful Deadly Prey, seeing as it has a similar cast, a similar plot, and some of the same silly violence. But DP is probably the pinnacle of the AIP/Prior canon, so it’s hard to compare anything to it, really. The first half-hour of Killzone is the Prerequisite Torture we’ve seen many times before, but here they get it all out of the way right off the bat. It makes sense, because we need to see what would make McKenna go nuts. Thanks to the way it was shot, Killzone has a more professional look than some of the later AIP output. And considering they were just starting out, this is a really great effort. Looking back today, you can see the direction they would later take, and that’s quite interesting.

Just check out that great cover art for the VHS release. How could you not want to rent that? And the icing on the cake is that it was released on one of our favorite labels, Vestron. To date it has not been released on DVD so if you see it anywhere, definitely pick it up. AIP fans or fans of low-budget action/war cinema also take note.

Killzone pointed the way forward for AIP so even as simply a historical lesson, it’s worth seeing. But put Ted Prior and Fritz Matthews in the woods with some machine guns, and there’s your movie right there.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Getting Even (1986)

Getting Even (1986)-* * *

AKA: Hostage Dallas

Directed by: Dwight H. Little

Starring: Edward Albert, Audrey Landers, and Joe Don Baker














Here is the on-screen crawl viewers of Getting Even will read when they pop the tape into their VCR:

Afghanistan: The Spring

A new lethal weapon has been developed. It kills silently by ravaging the body. It is a poisonous gas that destroys the flesh. There is no known defense.

The U.S. Government has recruited the one man capable of capturing and disarming this weapon.

His mission: PROJECT VIPER

His name: TAGGAR

This describes the plot of Getting Even better than we possibly could. But there are a few other things this helpful intro left out. Taggar, or “Tag” for short (Albert) is a Bruce Wayne-like industrialist/adventurer from Dallas who wears power suits during the day while in his massive skyscraper, Taggar Enterprises, and at night travels with an elite band of special ops and gets into action-packed scenarios.

Taggar Enterprises specializes in “Chemicals, Robotics and Microtechnology”. Plus they have their own book, their building has a “TE” helipad for the official “TE” chopper, and they even have stylish “TE” jackets for their employees to wear in their downtime. Tag even zooms around in his rockin’ sports car with “TAG ENT” as the license plate. All this success must have really cheesed off rival Texan chemical researcher King Kenderson (Baker). He acts like a classic cowboy but deep down is an insecure man, constantly afraid of being labeled “a loser”. The flashy, capable and awesomely-named Taggar gets his goat so much, he steals canisters of the deadly gas weapon described above and threatens to release it over Dallas unless he gets fifty million dollars.

So, with the help of Paige Starson (Landers), Taggar snaps into action in a series of stunts, fights and chases in a variety of different vehicles in order to take down Kenderson and save Texas. Can he do it?

Here, Edward Albert throws his hat into a fairly crowded ring as another camouflage face-painted, rocket launcher-toting hero. He resembles a cross between Tom Selleck and Robert Goulet, and the whole affair is classic 80’s action fun. The plot is a bit bizarre, as rival chemical researchers battle for supremacy, but this different take makes Getting Even (not to be confused with the other Getting Even, 1988 with Harrison Muller, Jr.) worthwhile. The war between the suave city man and the “country bumpkin” is a tried-and-true “country mouse vs. city mouse” tale, but this one has lots of classic 80’s computers and a blasting theme song.

In the dialogue department, we get gems such as the shouted “Adios, Russkies!” during the opening action scene, and the ultimate moment in this film, or perhaps in all of Edward Albert’s career (and yes, I am aware we’re talking about Punchy himself) is when he yells at top volume and intensity, “KENDERSON!!!!!!!!!!” Great stuff. Great I tell you.

Perhaps the film is set in Dallas to try and capitalize on the popular TV show of the time, but with an eye on giving action fans a reason to visit that city. It seems Taggar would have fit in well on that show.

Released on VHS in the U.S. on Vestron, if you see it somewhere, pick up Getting Even.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Low Blow (1986)

Low Blow (1986)-* * *

Directed by: Frank Harris

Starring: Leo Fong, Cameron Mitchell, Troy Donahue, Patti Bowling, Akosua Busia, Diane Stevenett, Woody Farmer, Stack Pierce, and Billy Blanks



"Tell the bank the check is in the mail."-Joe Wong









Joe Wong (Fong) is a private investigator, and he has a unique way of doing his job. He's behind on all his bills, his office is a pig sty, and all he really wants to do is go to his favorite eatery and have some chicken feet soup. He and his perky partner Diane (Stevenett) are barely staying afloat. One day John Templeton (Donahue), not to be confused with The Protector (1999), (who could surely handle this problem on his own), walks into Wong's office and hires him to find his daughter Karen (Bowling) who has gone missing. Despite Wong's warning that he "is expensive", much like Rod Armstrong, Donahue gives him the money and Wong is on his way.

It turns out Karen has been brainwashed by the Universal Enlightenment cult and is spending most days farming at their compound called Unity Village. The leader of this mysterious cult is one Yarakunda (Mitchell) and his "sister-wife" Karma (Busia). Since this secretive organization doesn't take kindly to outsiders, meaning there are plenty of armed guards, Wong hits the local punchfighting (or in this case, pit fighting) circuit to hire some recruits to help him invade the cult and save Karen. Of all the ninjas, women, Chicanos and fat guys that all fight each other, he chooses Fuzzy (Farmer) and some others and then they all go to complete the mission. Using just their martial arts abilities and their wiles, will they succeed?

Here the usual gang of troublemakers (Fong, Pierce, Mitchell and director Frank Harris, among others) reunite once more for another round of wacky, dumb fun. Despite the common low-budget pitfalls of bad film quality, choppy editing, and major issues with what must have been a script at one point, Low Blow remains "Low Brow" entertainment. Fong plays the goofy P.I. with some serious car troubles with nothing but flatly delivered catchphrases. The main issue of Low Blow is you can't hear anything. The sound quality is so amazingly bad, the entire movie is unhearable. It doesn't help that Fong never speaks above a whisper, and he has an accent. But what we could hear is funny. And when he's attacking the bad guys' car with a chainsaw, he always remembers his safety goggles.

Cameron Mitchell, as the Jonestown-inspired guru, wearing a black hooded cloak and sunglasses, never stands up in the movie and appears drunk. It's a more laid-back Cam performance, especially in comparison to his bad guy role in Killpoint (1984). Also as counterpoint to Killpoint, Stack Pierce here is fairly underused as Corky. Yes, his name is Corky. But we can't forget an early appearance of Billy Blanks as a camp guard that fights Joe Wong. Unfortunately, the climax of the movie takes place at night and the filmmakers forgot to turn on any lights, so we can't see what transpires very well.

The introduction of the punch/pit fighting adds a lot of color and flavor to the proceedings, and the addition of Fuzzy to the national consciousness was surely a good thing, though he lacks the joie de vivre of a Jack S. Daniels or a Bear. Also of note is the U.S. Vestron video VHS box art (seen at top of page). While a pretty cool piece of artwork in its own right, this person you see is not in the film. They invented him for the box art. What, was a picture of Leo Fong not good enough? That's shameful. But at least we can now see what it would look like if your fist was basically the size of your head.

Yes, the movie is inept on almost every level, and the attempts at humor are...attempts at humor, but Low Blow proves ineptness isn't always a bad thing - it can be pretty entertaining if you are in the right mood. 'Blow isn't as bad as some say it is (although some technical aspects certainly are, but so what).

If you need more Fong in your life, a good place to continue your obsession would be Low Blow.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Killpoint (1984)

Killpoint (1984)-* *

Directed by: Frank Harris

Starring: Leo Fong, Richard Roundtree, Cameron Mitchell, and Stack Pierce













When a cache of guns is stolen from a local armory, and street thugs are running wild shooting everyone in sight, there's only one man tough enough to stop the madness: Lt. James "Jim" Long (Fong)! But he's been feeling depressed lately as his wife had been raped and killed earlier that year. So he teams up with ATF agent Bryant (Roundtree) and the entire Riverside, CA police department to track down the baddies responsible. Luckily for Long's revenge scheme, the same evildoers are behind the attack on his wife as well as the stolen guns: crimelord and all-around kingpin bad guy Joe Marks (Mitchell) and his murderous assistant Nighthawk (Pierce). Will Long and Bryant bring the culprits to justice, and, more importantly, will local TV station KHUD report the story accurately?

The stars of Revenge of the Bushido Blade (1980) reunite for this amateurish, haphazard effort that, while certainly imperfect, has its entertaining qualities and would have been ideal for undiscerning drive-in audiences of the day. For example, the editing is choppy: one minute we're seeing Cam Mitchell having a grand old time as Marks, the next we get a several-minute training sequence with Fong in a gym with absolutely no setup or dialogue, then we're back at the police station with Roundtree, etc. 

Add to that the use of mumbling non-actors in a semi-documentary style (members of the Riverside police department are named extensively in the credits), and the hilariously wooden anti-acting (read: clearly reading from a written source) of Michael Farrell (not the guy from MASH) as Long's Captain, Skidmore, and you get a few yuks, but nothing substantial.

Fong as Long is as perfectly wooden as he usually is, and his hair is charmingly Ramones-ish this time around. But the star of the show once again is the immortal Cam Mitchell. He looks like he's having a ball as the nefarious Marks, and hams it to the max, but in the best way imaginable. Marks/Mitchell is the type of villain whose main activities include wearing sunglasses and an ascot to bed, and teaching his dog (Sparky) to smoke, as well as boring stuff like killing prostitutes and enabling the L.A. area to go into martial law. God bless Cameron Mitchell. We'll never see another like him.

Stack Pierce, besides having an awesome name, is suitably menacing as Marks' consigliere, and looks like what would happen if Bill Cosby turned evil. The great Richard Roundtree is under-utilized and should have done much more. After teaming up with Leo Fong, he'll probably go back to teaming up with Harrison Muller, Jr. Either that or Ernest Borgnine.

So yes, it does have some of the trappings of low-budget filmmaking such as poor audio and a weird pace, but it was director Frank Harris' first directorial film. Unfortunately, his mediocrity seems ingrained, as his next two features, Low Blow (1986) and The Patriot (1986) seem to prove. In the action department, it's pretty much shootings and training sequences and not much else, although Fong does give one unlucky suspect an interrogation he'll never forget.

Starring Sparky the dog as himself (as his credit goes) in a movie-stealing performance, though he can't quite top Mitchell, they work well together. Killpoint was released by Crown International, and then put out on VHS in the U.S. by Vestron. Featuring the catchy closing song "Livin' on the Inside" by Ramona Gibbons, Killpoint isn't really a great movie, but its personalities like the repeat-offender crew of Fong, Pierce and Mitchell make it reasonably worthwhile.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Sloane (1984)

Sloane (1984)-*

Directed by: Dan Rosenthal

Starring: Robert Resnick, Joonee Gamboa, and Debra Blee






"He Takes Over Where The Law Leaves Off!"







Philip Sloane (Resnick) is a Tae Kwon Do instructor in L.A. who lives on a houseboat named the Dragonfly. His former girlfriend, named Janice, has been living in Manila with her new boyfriend, Richard. It seems Richard tried to rip off the main gang boss in Manila, Chan Se (Gamboa) by stealing some of his drug money. So the gang kidnaps Janice. Janice's father hires Sloane to go to Manila to save her because he used to live there for 17 years. Once there, he teams up with Richard's concerned sister Cynthia (Blee). They bicker and fight incessantly but eventually forge a relationship. They're the original "Odd Couple"! Or something like that. They team up with Sloane's friend Pete (Raul Aragon) and his contact on the local police force, Sal (Vic Ordonez) to take down the crime syndicate and rescue Janice. Can they do it?

The main problem with Sloane is that he is such a major jerk! It is quite perplexing why the filmmakers thought the audience would root for a man who is such a shrill, smug, arrogant, conceited, misogynistic, unlikable preppy A-hole. It's never explained why Sloane is such a jerk. He informs his actions - every thing he does - with jerkiness. Imagine if Trevor Gottitall from American Shaolin: King Of The Kickboxers II (1991) was the HERO of a film. All Sloane does is punch the baddies with no flair or skill. Sadly, nothing Sloane does in the movie is cool. When the main villain is more likable than your supposed 'hero', you've got a big problem on your hands. I'd love to know what the behind the scenes team was thinking with this character decision on Sloane's part.

Apparently the filmmakers also believed the name "Sloane" was the coolest, most awesomely original name ever, because besides naming the film simply "Sloane" (thus drawing all undue attention to this awful, awful man), the other characters say the name "Sloane" about a million times, and there's even a completely gratuitous scene in a bar where two hookers ask what his name is. Then nothing else connected to that happens. The scene was there solely to say "Sloane" a few more times.

Someone throws a cobra into Sloane's jeep. Sloane shoots a bunch of people, possibly some innocents, with a machine gun. He goes in a cave and fights, according to the back of the box, "crazed pygmy cannibals". In between each scene is some super-smooth jazz that sounds like a TV soundtrack, possibly Hill Street Blues. It seems Sloane and Fortune Dane's (1986) soundtracks are in a war for the ultimate in smoothness.

There's no excuse for the fact that the film is a brutal 95 minutes. Besides some pacing problems that slow things down unnecessarily, Sloane is in almost every scene. That's 95 minutes with SLOANE! That's way too much time with Sloane. By far the best thing about this film is the box art. Save yourself 90 minutes by staring at the box art above for five minutes. It would be preferable to sitting through all of Sloane.

Released on VHS by Vestron Video in the U.S., do you dare to watch the man you love to hate?

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Bail Out (1989)

Bail Out (1989)-* *
AKA: W.B., Blue and the Bean

Directed by: Max Kleven

Starring: David Hasselhoff, Linda Blair, John Vernon, Gregory Scott Cummins, George "Buck" Flower, and Danny Trejo




Bail Out is a silly action/adventure/comedy which isn't very funny, at least not intentionally. The original title "W.B., Blue and the Bean" (which appears after the end credits, while "Bail Out" is the title in the opening credits. Did they forget to change it?) should give some indication of the movie's intentions.

Roger "White Bread" Donaldson (or W.B. for short) (The Hoff) is a part-time tennis instructor and part-time bounty hunter. He has two associates - you guessed it - Mason "Blue" Walcott (Tony Brubaker) and, of course, The Bean (Tom Rosales). When heiress Nettie Ridgeway (Blair) is abducted by drug lords (led by Cummins of Action U.S.A. (1989) fame as Zaldizar) and spirited away to Mexico, it's up to our three heroes to save the day. They have to get her to court on time in order to collect a million dollars. The three buddies want to open their own bail bondsmanship so they can stop working for the haranguing Aram Haronian, their boss. Will they succeed?

While it is funny to see the mighty Hasselhoff with his mullet and giant cell phone hamming it up for all the world to see, and an attempt is made at politically-incorrect humor ("these guys drive worse than the Orientals!", "Roasted Colombians, nothin' finer!", etc.) sadly it all seems a bit forced and unfunny. Once they get to Mexico, there is a stereotype Mexican character that is very, very annoying. The movie was already on pretty thin ice by then, and the addition of this character did not help at all.



There are some car chases, shootouts and horseback riding, and the cast is full of familiar faces such as Trejo, Flower, the Hoff, Blair, and a surprising appearance by Gregory Scott Cummins as the drug lord. We were so used to seeing him as the all-American good guy from Action U.S.A. He truly has a lot of versatility. John Vernon is also on hand as Linda Blair's father. What is he truly up to?

Nothing really weird or truly noteworthy happens in Bail Out. It's all pretty standard fare, so stupid at times it almost insults the audience's intelligence. We know it's a direct to video movie starring The Hoff, but come on. Give us some credit here. But then again it was directed by Max Kleven, the "mastermind" behind Fugitive Champion (1997). At least Chip Mayer was nowhere in sight. So if you can survive all the groaners for jokes and some middling action, you MAY be entertained by Bail Out if you are in the right mood (i.e., a really goofy mood).

Bail Out was released on VHS in the U.S. on the great Vestron label. We couldn't find any commercially-released version of the film under the "W.B. Blue and the Bean" moniker. If you have a picture of that, please send it in.

NOTE: Because there are so many boxcovers for this title, we have decided to change things up and are pleased to present...the BAIL OUT GALLERY! Enjoy!


















Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ghost Warrior (1986)

Ghost Warrior (1986)-* *1\2

Directed by: J. Larry Carroll

Starring: Hiroshi Fujioka, Frank Schuller, John Calvin, and Janet Julian





"Action thrills from the makers of Troll!"







Yoshimitsu (Fujioka) is a Samurai in 1500's Japan. A duel goes awry and he falls into a frozen lake. When some skiers discover his frozen body in the 1980s, Yoshi is shipped to L.A., supposedly for an autopsy at the California Institute For Cryptosurgical Research. The building is inexplicably gigantic. Dr. Richards  (Calvin) decides to revive him and it actually works.

Yoshi is helped by Chris Welles (Julian), a scientist who speaks some Japanese. She befriends him, but when a greedy orderly tries to steal Yoshi's swords, the orderly is killed and Yoshi escapes into the go-go 80s.

What will happen to this ancient warrior in the modern world?

Yoshi sees a helpless old man being menaced by a gang of 50 year old punks and, true to his samurai code of honor, decides to intervene. The guns and knives of the AARP punks can't compete with Yoshi's top quality samurai swords.

Fujioka is excellent as Yoshi. He brings much more class than is needed to this Charles Band production. He looks at cars, lamps and TVs like they are new and strange things. He is totally believable doing this. A movie highlight comes when he sees metal band W.A.S.P on a TV and gets scared.

Two humorous bits are when, firstly, the character of Berger (Schuller) is introduced. He is a lazy, cigar-chomping slob and provides some mild chuckles. Secondly, when Yoshi enters a sushi restaurant, a man exclaims: "It's Toshiro Mifune!".

The character of Chris narrates the tale. Is it necessary? Only you can be the judge. One of the more interesting aspects of Ghost Warrior is how Yoshi's old life parallels his new life. The film cuts back and forth between the two.

According to the back of the VHS box on the Vestron Video label, Ghost Warrior is in the "Time warp tradition of Iceman!" We would also add Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991) and Encino Man (1992).

The movie is somber and somewhat mediocre. There's not a lot of action until the end and is worth seeing for the performance of Fujioka and not much else.


Comeuppance Review by Brett and Ty