New York Ninja (2021)

 

New York Ninja (2021)- * * *1\2

Directed by: John Liu and Kurtis Spieler 

Starring: John Liu and the voice cast of Don 'The Dragon Wilson', Cynthia Rothrock, Michael Berryman, Leon Isaac Kennedy, Vince Murdocco, Linnea Quigley, and Ginger Lynn Allen

                

                                                    ****1400th Review!!******                                        


John Liu (Liu; voiced by Don the Dragon) is a humble soundman working for a New York City news network. His wife Nita (voiced by Ginger Lynn Allen) tells him she's pregnant and Liu is elated. The problem: New York is overrun by punks, thugs, and goons of all stripes, and they're running rampant. After Nita is attacked, a despondent and frustrated Liu first tries all the typical red tape-infested channels, such as going to Det. Jimmy Williams (voiced by Leon Isaac Kennedy). 

Getting nowhere, Liu does the only natural thing: he dons his ninja outfit and hits the streets, dispensing justice as the NEW YORK NINJA! But he'll face his ultimate nemesis in The Plutonium Killer (voiced by Michael Berryman), a light-sensitive, burn-happy baddie. His underling Rattail is no slouch either. These are tough challenges, but the New York Ninja begins gaining a legion of fans and supporters. Will he bring safety and justice back to New York? You have to find out!




The story behind New York Ninja is almost as amazing as the movie itself. In fact, its resurrection is downright miraculous. For those that may not know, what happened was this: the film was shot in 1984, but ended up not being completed due to production problems. The film reels languished in a vault until they were discovered in the archives of Vinegar Syndrome. All the visuals were intact, but no sound elements were able to be tracked down. 

So, the team at VS, headed by a very clever and intrepid guy named Kurtis Spieler, edited the film back to health, and re-created anything auditory. Spieler had no script to work with, so he re-wrote any dialogue he couldn't figure out by reading the lips of the silent original film. He then cast an excellent bunch of our favorite actors to do the voice parts, and got a killer, synthy score by a band called Voyag3r to do the music. The result is tremendous. A lot of work went into this project, and Spieler along with Vinegar Syndrome should win some sort of film preservation or editing award for what is, in our opinion, an important and even monumental project.

Importantly, as Spieler writes in his liner notes, he didn't want to make fun of the movie in a What's Up Tiger Lily (1966) style While he realized that New York Ninja is a film in the vein of a Miami Connection (1987) (which it played theatrically on a double bill with) or a Samurai Cop (1991), he - very wisely - took the project seriously and didn't try to be "above" the movie. While there is plenty of humor, he treated it as if he was editing (and, presently, re-directing) the film in the 80's. That decision made all the difference in the end.




As the first-ever Vinegar Syndrome Pictures release, they went all-out with not just the aforementioned screenings, but they released it in a deluxe hard box with a magnetic door, and a black ribbon, not to mention the book. They must be proud of this release, and they should be. Even if it was nothing more than a document of New York City in 1984 - which it wonderfully is - the film would be more than worth your time. There's even a clear shot of a movie marquee, likely on 42nd Street, for Ninja 3: The Domination (1984). On top of this priceless and now preserved footage, the movie itself has a Tenement (1985) meets Death Promise (1977) meets The Instructor (1981) vibe - but it's even funnier and weirder than those three gems.




Let's talk about the (new) cast: While, at first, it may seem odd to hear the unmistakable voice of Don The Dragon coming out of John Liu, the audience quickly warms to it, and the film as a whole. It's all so lovable and quirky, you just have to love it. Besides, as Spieler noted, to have dialogue not exactly match the mouths of the actors onscreen is nothing new for Martial Arts film fans. 

It even adds a bit of charm, although the film is pretty darn charming on its own. Spieler and VS's intention was to re-cast the movie with Vinegar Syndrome-related actors - i.e., genre favorites that fans like us would love - and who they got is genuinely cool. Michael Berryman is great as The Plutonium Killer, Leon Isaac Kennedy is wonderfully welcome as Detective Jimmy Williams, and Ginger Lynn Allen and our beloved Cynthia Rothrock have small but important roles. Matt Mitler and Vince Murdocco are here too, and Linnea Quigley as Randi Rydell is the icing on the cake.




New York Ninja is off-kilter and has a screw loose, which sets it apart from the pack, and is so colorful (just look at what all the goons are wearing), it's impossible not to love. But then Vinegar Syndrome comes along and breathes new life into the film, which was just magical. This project really shows the increasing strength, confidence, ingenuity, and creativity of Vinegar Syndrome. They were the perfect company to shepherd this lost sheep of a movie and add it to the rest of their flock. What they did here was truly special, and it gets our highest recommendation!




Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Aftershock (1990)

Aftershock (1990)- * * *

Directed by: Frank Harris

Starring: Jay Roberts Jr., Chris DeRose, Elizabeth Kaitan, James Lew, Matthias Hues, Chuck Jeffreys, Al Leong, Chris Mitchum, Michael Berryman, Russ Tamblyn, Gerald Okamura, John Saxon, and Richard Lynch

"Chill Out, Mushroom"-Prisoner

In a post-apocalyptic world, society is broken up into fascist-type overlords and their minions who try to control the population, and the rebels who fight the baddies for their freedom. Everyone in society is required to have a barcode on their arm. However, the underground resistance is gathering steam with their "Start To Question!" campaign, which they push through flyers, spray-painted walls, and other means. 


The catalyst for the ultimate battle between the Empire and the Rebels is a beautiful extraterrestrial named Sabina (Kaitan). Baddie Oliver Quinn (Saxon) wants to experiment on her, but rebel Willie (Roberts Jr.) wants to run away with her. Will it be World War III...again?




Aftershock may be one of the many, many post-apocalyptic movies out there (we call them post-ap's for short), but it has a handful of things going for it that its competitors don't. Its Star Wars-esque plot allows for some actual ideas to come forth, which is more than some of the others can claim. Also, on the whole it's a lot better than, say, Bloodfist 2050 (2005) or Dragon Fire (1993). It's directed by Frank Harris, who is very well known to us from his action films of the 70's and 80's, and the whole thing gets funnier and more enjoyable as it goes along. By the halfway point, things really start to pick up. 

But, unquestionably, Aftershock has one of the best B-Movie casts ever. We don't say that lightly. Somehow Harris was able to corral an amazing bunch of people - and the whole thing doesn't even fall prey to Lone Tiger Effect. Sure, with such a cast, not everyone gets all the time in the spotlight they perhaps should, but the movie overall is far from a dud. Here's a breakdown:




- Jay Roberts, Jr. as Willie, the rebel with the earring, motorcycle, rattail, and Martial Arts moves is the main hero and love interest for Sabina. We hadn't seen him since White Phantom and were glad to see his triumphant return.
- Chuck Jeffreys as Danny, Willie's sidekick. His energy, athletic ability, and Eddie Murphy-esque charisma was more than welcome.
- Elizabeth Kaitan as Sabina, the alien. Her transformation from clueless creature from another world to wise woman was genuinely charming. She learned all she knows by soaking up the info from a container of floppy disks (as we all did back then...though isn't this the future? Anyway...) and it's well-noted that she wears fireproof clothes.
- John Saxon as the evil Oliver made the perfect main baddie. If he's the Darth Vader, then...
- Richard Lynch as Commander Eastern was the Emperor. He wasn't in it that much but it was nice to see him.
- James Lew was one of the enforcers, and...
- Chris DeRose was one of the others. Both were heavies but DeRose looked more like Chris Noth than ever.
- Chris Mitchum - we haven't even gotten to Chris Mitchum until now! Normally his presence alone in a movie would be enough for us. Here he's one of the rebel commanders. You can always use more Mitchum but what are ya gonna do?
- Matthias Hues is a hulking, punchfighting, almost Conan-esque brute. He doesn't say anything, but his partner in crime is none other than...
- Michael Berryman - even by his standards his character is extremely bizarre, a cross-dressing fighter of the wasteland.
- Russ Tamblyn is also on board as a bartender and good guy. What little screen time he has, he makes the most of with a sympathetic character.
- Al Leong and
- Gerald Okamura both have blink-and-you'll-miss-em cameos as fighters in some of the Punchfighting/battle scenes.




This reads more like the lineup for a convention like Chiller Theatre than a cast list for one movie. For the cast alone, Aftershock is worth seeing. The post-ap aspects (post-aspects?) aren't amazingly different from others of its ilk, but the main difference is the terrific cast. 

Filmed at the Kaiser Steel Plant in Fontana, California and the Domtar Gypsum Paper Mill in Vernon, California - because obviously places where they used to make paper and steel now look like bombed-out wastelands - Aftershock does have some standout moments, mainly after the halfway point, and the cast is fantastic. That should be enough for at least a one-time watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

The Barbarians (1987)

The Barbarians (1987)- * * *

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: Peter Paul, David Paul, Virginia Bryant, Richard Lynch, Eva La Rue, George Eastman, and Michael Berryman



"The Barbarian Brothers as...The Barbarians"








In a mystical faraway land of swords and sorcery, two twin brothers are orphaned and adopted by a traveling caravan of weirdos. When the nefarious warlord Kadar (Lynch), in a quest for more power, attacks the traveling troupe and imprisons Queen Canary (Bryant) and enslaves the brothers in a work camp, at least some good comes out of it: a lifetime of lifting rocks has turned the two brothers into massively muscular “Barbarian Brothers”. Kutchek (Peter Paul) and Gore (David Paul) want to free their beloved Queen, so, along with another newly-freed victim of the wrath of Kadar, a girl named Kara (La Rue), they go forward on their quest. 

Along the way they meet all kinds of crazy characters and people, not the least of which are Dirtmaster (Berryman) and Jacko (Eastman). Will they slay the dragon? Will they find the magical ruby that fits into the bellybutton of the future queen? Will they argue and make weird, animalistic noises? Find out today!

Connecticut’s own The Barbarian Brothers truly come out to shine (literally - they glisten) in their first major, starring role. It truly was an amazing time for the film industry and the world of video stores alike  - the fact that projects like this could be made and distributed around the world would not happen today.  That Cannon would put Ruggero Deodato in the director’s chair, and - of all people - The Barbarian Brothers front and center is nothing short of a miracle. The result is a fairly freewheeling journey into a magical land filled with wacky costumes, crazy makeup, and oiled-up meatheads.

It was the 80’s, after all, and things like Dungeons and Dragons, He-Man, and the Conan The Barbarian series (he’s only ONE barbarian. Here you get two for the price of one) were huge. Not to mention video games like Iron Sword (remember the Fabio cover?), Gauntlet and later Golden Axe. Even the breastplate that one of the brothers wears later in the movie is very He-Man esque. 

And seeing as how Lucio Fulci directed Conquest (1983), Cannon probably figured, ‘okay, this sword-and-sorcery stuff is huge right now, let’s get another Italian director known for his horror/gore work and have him run the show’. Deodato provides a weird/wacky vibe, and the whole thing is well-shot in typical Italian style. While Dolph Lundgren was ideal casting for Masters of the Universe (1987) - could you imagine He-Man x2? Well, imagine no longer.

Fan favorite Richard Lynch was good casting as the baddie, and it’s probably the only time we’ve ever seen him with dreadlocks. He must have impressed Deodato after working with him on Cut and Run (1985). Same goes for Michael Berryman, who also appeared in that movie two years earlier for Deodato. Berryman is always cool to see, and he makes some great faces, and has some impressive headgear. Same thing for George Eastman, we always enjoy when he pops up when you’re not expecting him to, which happens fairly often. 

Eva La Rue makes a cute companion to the Barbarians on their quest, and there are some lesser characters with notable features such as a guy who can only be described as “Pee Wee Amidala” (you’ll know him when you see him) and a baddie who looks a lot like Bane. Interestingly, in this “origin story” for the Barbarian Brothers, they actually take the time to explain WHY they’re so huge, which you don’t often see for other meatheads. The brothers themselves have a silly kind of chemistry which has helped earn them a fan following.

The movie fluctuates between childish fun and more adult themes, so it’s hard to tell exactly who this was aimed for. Perhaps the ideal audience is immature young men like us. Featuring an uncredited song with the lyrics “Your ruby dreams taste so sweet”, The Barbarians remains a lightweight 80’s Barbaric good time.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write-ups from our buddies Dead Moon Night and The Video Vacuum!

Cut and Run (1985)

Cut and Run (1985)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Ruggero Deodato

Starring: Lisa Blount, Eriq La Salle, Willie Aames, Leonard Mann, Karen Black, John Steiner, Richard Bright, Michael Berryman, and Richard Lynch









Fran Hudson (Blount) is a local Miami TV reporter who never shies away from a story that is potentially dangerous. After some drug-fueled murders in the area, an informant, Fargas (La Salle) points Fran and her trusty cameraman Mark (Mann) in the direction of a mysterious man named Brian Horne (Lynch). Horne was a disgraced Army Colonel who ended up in the employment of the infamous Jim Jones. He was said to have died in the massacre at Guyana, but recent photos have surfaced featuring Horne. Fran and Mark want to go deep into the jungles of Venezuela where they believe he is hiding out in order to interview him. 

This coincides perfectly with the wishes of their station manager, Bob (Bright) as well as Karin (Black). Bob’s son Tommy (Aames) has been missing and thought to be in the same area. So Fran and Mark have their work “cut” out for them, as they must report on the drug killings, find and interview Brian Horne, and rescue Tommy - all the while dodging the many pitfalls of the jungle, not the least of which is the violent and frightening killer Quecho (Berryman). Can they do it?

Out of all the jungle movies released in the 80’s, Cut and Run has to rank as one of the best. While it sits comfortably with other items on video store shelves at the time such as Cocaine Wars (1985), Cut and Run has a lot more going for it. Namely the strong cast, and equally strong direction by Ruggero Deodato, who most people would associate with Cannibal Holocaust (1980) - but here at Comeuppance we associate him with Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man (1976), Raiders of Atlantis (1983) and The Barbarians (1987). 

Though, truth be told, Cut and Run shares more of the themes of Cannibal Holocaust than any of the other movies we mentioned - jungles, white people entering them and facing hostile Indios, and gore a-plenty. So while lesser filmmakers were off making nondescript El Presidente movies or Jungle Slogs (as we call them), Deodato corraled an impressive cast and raised the bar on all films of this type. He set the standard for the 80’s video store-era jungle movie, and it has yet to be surpassed.

Lisa Blount makes an appealing lead, and she’s an actress we don’t often get a chance to talk about. Eriq La Salle - much like his co-stars John Steiner, Gabriele Tinti and even Karen Black - puts in a colorful and worthwhile, but brief, role. Fan favorite Michael Berryman is on board doing what he does best, as is fellow fan favorite Richard Lynch. Both Berryman and Lynch have loinclothed goons - presumably no jungle movie would be complete without them. 

It’s hard to say exactly what’s going on with Willie Aames (or is it Willie Bibleman; not really sure) what with his curly mullet and Mickey Mouse tanktop over a red sweatshirt, but like Blount, we don’t get to talk about Willie too much on this site, so we were happy to see him in a non-Charles in Charge role. But seeing as how the movie was directed with energy by Deodato, and has typically-excellent Claudio Simonetti music, you can’t really lose...or can you?

Actually, you CAN lose if you view the New World VHS. The Anchor Bay DVD is uncut so make sure that is the version you see/buy. The moments of well-executed gore are one of the main ingredients that set this movie apart from its jungle-based competitors. So make sure you see it all on the DVD. Corman and New World have a tendency to cut movies and make sure they don’t go “too far”, and Cut and Run was sadly a victim of that back in the day. But it’s been rectified now, so there’s nothing to fear. Except maybe Quecho.

Cut and Run is a solid movie, and the DVD is a solid addition to anyone’s collection.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum!

Teenage Exorcist (1991)

Teenage Exorcist (1991)- * *1\2

Directed by: Grant Austin Walden

Starring: Michael Berryman, Brinke Stevens, Elena Sahagun, Robert Quarry, Jay Richardson, Oliver Darrow, Tom Shell, Hoke Howell, and Eddie Deezen

Don’t buy a house from Michael Berryman. Or a pizza for that matter. And if Eddie Deezen delivers said pizza, you know you’re in real trouble. When college student Diane (Stevens) moves into a spacious Hollywood home, little does she know that the spirit of the nefarious Baron DeSade (Howell) - who is pure evil, yet a homebody (he shouts “I shall live here forever!!!!”) - still inhabits the space. This somehow turns the bookish and cute Diane into a demon-possessed dominatrix, of sorts. 

Her sister Sally (Sahagun), her husband Mike (Richardson), and a potential college boyfriend (Shell), along with Father McFerrin (Quarry) and Deezen, the pizza delivery boy, all cavort around the house trying to get Diane back to normal. After some hijinx involving a demon (Darrow) and a bunch of zombies, something ensues - but is it hilarity? Find out, if you dare.

I’ve never really been a fan of horror comedies. With the possible exception of Dead Alive (1992), usually they just seem like excuses to be neither funny nor scary. However, AIP seems to like them, having released this, and the very similar Speak of the Devil (1991) in the same year. Both have evil stuff lurking in the basement, and neither of them are that funny. But of the two, Teenage Exorcist is better. 

For one thing, the cast seems to be having fun. Unfortunately, it’s not contagious for the audience. You do almost crack a smile a few times, but only because the humor is so old-fashioned. It’s almost vaudeville, and seeing as how Brinke Stevens is credited with the screenplay (although it was co-written with Ted Newsom, though he was uncredited because of a Writer’s Guild issue. I learned this from listening to the DVD commentary. And to answer your questions, yes, there is a DVD. And yes, it has a commentary track. And yes, I listened to it.) - unless she was over 80 years old or so at the time of writing (and looking really good) - it’s kind of inexplicable why the gags seem like they should be from such an earlier vintage.

So that makes Teenage Exorcist sort of a cross between Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) and Repossessed (1990), what with its old dark house and exorcist jokes. Also to the movie’s credit is the fact that it has a title song, a very catchy pop-metal ditty that would seem perfect for Hardcore Superstar to do a cover of. Elsewhere, it has a jaunty score underscoring such scenes as Brinke’s milk box inflating and deflating (a sure sign evil doings are afoot), and her carrying in her mustard in a big brown box as she moves into her house. 

But it does its best with its low budget - it all takes place, for the most part, in one location - the house (it looks like the house from Mirror Mirror 3 (1995). Even some of the end credits are first names only, kind of underscoring the buddy-buddy vibe. And, of course, when the first credit before the title of the movie are the words “Eddie Deezen in...” you know you’re in for a treat (?) But it also has Hoke Howell of Action USA (1989) fame, as well as Sahagun of Ring of Fire II (1993) and Tiger Heart (1996) fame. For a proposed first version of this movie, Fred Olen Ray made a trailer only, and it has Cam Mitchell. Too bad he couldn’t appear in the final version.

So while the title is a misnomer (there is no teenage exorcist in the film - there was supposed to be, but in an inexplicable casting decision, the teenage girl was replaced by Eddie Deezen!), if you’re in the mood for some good-natured mediocrity with a mild sexy edge, Teenage Exorcist could just be the movie for you.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett 

Armed Response (1986)

Armed Response (1986)-* * *

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: David Carradine, Lee Van Cleef, Mako, Brent Huff, Lois Hamilton, Ross Hagen, Michael Berryman, and Dick Miller

Jim Roth (Carradine) is a Vietnam veteran, family man, and owner of a bar. His father Burt (Van Cleef) hangs out there, as do other brothers Tommy (Huff) and Clay (Goss). It’s a close family, as Jim’s wife Sara (Hamilton) and young daughter Lauren (Chodan) also stop by on occasion. But the Roth family is about to encounter some trouble in the form of Yakuza boss Akira Tanaka (Mako), who desperately wants a valuable statue and will stop at nothing to get it, mainly because he will use it as a bargaining chip to prevent a Chinatown mob war with the Tongs. 

When Clay stupidly gets involved with Tanaka (and his evil bodyguard F.C. (Berryman), it sets off a chain of events where various members of the Roth family get in trouble - and Jim, who suffers from Vietnam flashbacks and nightmares, must team up with his, and I quote, “pappy”, Burt, to go back into an American-Asian war by gearing up to blow away the Yakuza. Add into this mix the slimy Cory Thorton (Hagen), as well as other various and sundry unsavory characters, and there’s going to have to be an ARMED RESPONSE!

The prolific Fred Olen Ray followed this movie up with Cyclone (1987), and you can identify this period of his long career, as the two films share many traits. They’re both fast-paced actioners loaded with B-movie stars about underworld characters trying to get a certain item, with one torture scene. They also both have that 80’s vibe and plenty of memorable music on the soundtrack.

It’s truly a case of “spot the stars” as almost every character in the movie is a B-film name. It would be impossible to go into detail about each and every one, but Lee Van Cleef is memorable as the dad we all want. He gets all the best lines in the movie. Why he’s supposed to be David Carradine’s - as well as Brent Huff’s - FATHER is kind of weird, but it adds to the fun. Carradine puts more energy into his performance than he did in Future Force (1989), but that’s not saying much. And the daughter, Dah-Ve Chodan, can proudly stand in the pantheon of cute and precocious daughters alongside Lauren Levy, Sarah Dampf and Lisa Boynton. Mako brings his memorable voice and evil walking stick along and is menacing as the baddie. And it’s nice to see Michael Berryman in an action movie.

From the funny opening, to the prerequisite barfight, to the fact that the Vietnam flashbacks provide added action bits, as well as some depth of characterization, to the stuntwork (featuring all the car chases and shootouts you would expect), and the fairly short running time, Armed Response certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome.

The “older” action stars Carradine and Van Cleef show that you don’t have to be a young punk to beat the baddies, and there’s a nice message of family togetherness and even some Reagan-era patriotism, which we always like seeing.

Armed Response is a nice little flick that’s certainly worth checking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty