SAS: San Salvador (1983)

SAS: San Salvador (1983)- *1\2

Directed by: Raoul Coutard

Starring: Miles O'Keefe, Raimund Harmstorf, Dagmar  Lassander, Sybil Danning, and Anton Diffring 









In the small South American country of San Salvador, a beloved archbishop is violently murdered. This sets off an already-volatile situation with the citizens and there are riots in the streets. The culprit is found to be arch-villain Enrico Chacon (Harmstorf) and naturally there’s only one man who can stop him: Malko Linge (O’Keeffe). 

Malko lives in a castle of his own (not to be confused with Coffin Joe of course), and apparently takes on assignments from the CIA in order to keep up his Austrian castle, which is in dire need of repair. His girlfriend Countess Alexandra (Danning) doesn’t seem to mind. So Malko goes to San Salvador and meets up with his contact Peter (Diffring) but seems to be distracted by wooing the ladies, including Maria Luisa (Lassander). Malko is going to have to get to fighting the baddies sooner or later, but will he complete his mission?

While it does open promisingly with a cool credits sequence, SAS is really just one in a long line of El Presidente/South America slogs we’ve seen over the years. When you look at how much time has gone by as you’re watching the movie and see only about 20 minutes or so has elapsed, it feels more onerous than usual. This is because it doesn’t feel like 20 minutes of its own movie, it feels like it was just added on to Cocaine Wars (1985), Overthrow (1987), Merchants of War (1989), McBain (1991), and so many others of this ilk. The minutes just seem added on to one long movie. And the distinct lack of action really hurts this one.

The cast is interesting, but unfortunately they can’t make the proceedings all that interesting: minor fan favorite O’Keeffe has some snappy outfits and closely resembles a statue. Malko is clearly the ultimate chick magnet, and it must be his way of exiting a building that makes him such a hit with the ladies (this one particular building exit is a movie highlight. You’ll know it when or if you see it). 

Sybil Danning is barely in the movie but she does get one of the best lines, “are you still playing samurai for the CIA?” - since this was at the beginning of the movie, we were hopeful the idea of a CIA samurai would come to fruition. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Dagmar Lassander, among other European people, play South Americans of Latin descent. Of course that includes Raimund Harmstorf of Thunder Warrior 2 (1987) and The Viking Sagas (1995) fame as Enrico Chacon, not to be confused with acclaimed Cat Stevens album Mona Bone Jakon, as the evil baddie and nemesis of Malko.

Interestingly, SAS was one of the few movies directed by Raoul Coutard, the famous cinematographer who was instrumental in the French New Wave movement, having worked with Godard on classics like Breathless (1960) and Band of Outsiders (1964). But by 1983, he was reduced to focusing his lens on Miles O’Keeffe in a Speedo. Of all people, you’d think Coutard would know the importance of action and pacing, but the pace is indeed slow and instead of solid action material, he fills the time with the standard moments of civil unrest, disco scenes and what you might call video store nudity.

Released by Vestron here in the U.S. and featuring the song La Colegiala by Son Caribe, you’ll be sendin’ out an SOS if you attempt to watch SAS.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Jungle Warriors (1984)

Jungle Warriors (1984)- * *

Directed by: Ernst R. Von Theumer

Starring: Nina Van Pallandt, Marjoe Gortner, Paul L. Smith, Woody Strode, Alex Cord, John Vernon, and Sybil Danning











A pretty irritating guy named Larry (Gortner) is in charge of corralling a bunch of models and flying them down to an unnamed South or Central American country (the movie itself was shot in Mexico). They inadvertently land in the thick jungles of drug-smuggling country. This particular gang of drug lords is commanded by Santiago (Smith) and his sister Angel (Danning). 

They have a team of thugs led by Luther (Strode). It’s not looking good for the models, and making things even worse is that a mobster named Vito Mastranga (Vernon) and his associate Nick Spilotro (Cord) are collaborating with Santiago and Angel and are in negotiations for future highly illegal doings. With no prior combat training, the models are going to have to take up arms against their captors if they ever want to strut on the catwalk ever again. Will they be able to pull off this daring feat?

You’d think - you’d REALLY think - that a movie about a bunch of models who get together and have to shoot a bunch of guns to escape the jungle and get back at the baddies would be a surefire formula for cinematic greatness. Or at least entertainment. 

Somehow Jungle Warriors manages to fumble this potential home run, to use a spot-on sports analogy. Lamely, the movie is talky, boring, slow, lacks action, and the worst crime of all is that it’s not exploitative enough. To compare it to something, Raw Force (1982) is better, and Jungle Warriors kind of falls into that video store shelf-filler netherworld inhabited by the likes of other similarly-themed mediocre flicks like Savage Justice (1988) and Sweet Revenge (1987). Though to be fair and balanced, it is better than Mercenary II (1999).

Perhaps you even saw this or the aforementioned titles collecting dust on the shelf of your local video store. Sybil Danning’s face couldn’t be much bigger on the U.S. VHS box art (as was the case with her “Adventure Video” series), but she is painfully underused in the movie itself. Another quite easy thing the movie could have done to improve itself would have been to include more Danning. 

Actually, pretty much the entire cast gets the short end of the stick somehow. Woody Strode says nothing, Danning is barely there, Paul L. Smith has no facial hair and does minimal fighting, John Vernon is in a veritable sit-down role, Alex Cord does what he can, and only Marjoe Gortner adds some Woody Allen-like spice to this mush. The models don’t seem to have individual personalities.

It’s a plot we’ve all seen many times before, and they saved all the supposed action for the climax. Some pew-pew machine gun shooting and maybe an exploding helicopter at the last minute doesn’t make up for all the waterfall footage we’d seen for the previous eighty or so minutes. 

But on the plus side, 80’s buffs will be delighted to see a vicious-looking drug goon wearing an E.T. shirt, and a too-brief glimpse of the wardrobe girl on the fashion shoot who has a sideways ponytail and is listening to a Walkman with orange ear covers. She should have gotten her own movie, she was the best character. The whole thing tops off with a theme song  featuring the aggressively abrasive, Lene Lovich-like vocals of one Marina Arcangeli. So it all ends on a bad note, literally.

Jungle Warriors is unfortunately lackluster, and it should have been called, if we may borrow a phrase from ourselves, Jungle Slog.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, The Video Vacuum! 

L.A. Bounty (1989)

L.A. Bounty (1989)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Worth Keeter

Starring: Sybil Danning, Blackie Dammett, and Wings Hauser















Here we have a fun little film which is easy to like, in which Sybil Danning has not only the starring role, but also is credited with story and co-producer.

When mayoral candidate Mike Rhodes (Robert Hanley) is kidnapped by drug runner Cavanaugh (Hauser) and his team of goons, this raises the ire of one of the toughest dudes around...ex-cop and now bounty hunter Ruger (Danning)! It seems the psychopathic Cavanaugh murdered her partner when she was on the beat. Cavanaugh slipped away and she has been on his trail. Now it's time to get revenge. But Cavanaugh wants to get to her first or she'll blow the whole mayoral kidnap plan, especially since Ruger has teamed up with Rhodes' wife Kelly (Lenore Kasdorf).  So now it's an all-out war between Cavanaugh and his goons and Ruger. Is she woman enough to take on all the evildoers? And what is the final twist in the tale?


In this movie, Danning and Wings are great opposites. Wings Hauser hams it up to the max (in a good way) and chews the scenery to pieces as the flamboyant artist Cavanaugh. It's truly "Wings gone wild" as he laughs, screams, skips (!) and spouts philosophy while wearing his clip-on earring. His lair is a supposed import/export business called "Gothic Imports". In the climax we see it has to be one of the largest warehouses ever.


Danning is quiet and curt as the no-nonsense bounty tracker. She says very little and when other characters say things to her, all we see is a silent, closed-mouth reaction shot. It's all in the name of fun. Just check out her many great entrances in the film. She usually appears silhouetted in a doorway surrounded by smoke as a mighty guitar riff blares on the soundtrack. She probably had a blast as the beer-swilling, leather jacket-wearing, trailer-dwelling, shotgun-toting "macho" hero. She basically blows giant holes in all the goons with a massive gun. She is funny and engaging as Ruger.

The movie really delivers the goods to the fans and moves along at a brisk pace. There is a standout scene which is an homage to Westerns, watch out for it.  Directed by familiar name (at least to this site) Worth Keeter, don't hesitate to check out L.A. Bounty if you can.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty