The Skid Kid (1991)

 

The Skid Kid (1991)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Glen Gruner

Starring: Gary Wolf, Scott Wolf, Glen Gruner, and Jessica Wolf

"This guy makes the Ninja Turtles look harmless!" - Local observer

When Scooter Spielberg (Gary Wolf) discovers a pair of miraculous boots in the middle of the highway that allow him to travel at fast speeds while just sitting on the ground, he becomes the newest crimefighter in Union, Missouri. Union is in the midst of a crime wave, and THE SKID KID, as he's dubbed by the local media, aims to stop it. The problem is that Scooter is just a regular high school kid with his own problems, such as a rivalry with Mr. All-Star (Scott Wolf), and girlfriend problems with Stephanie (Jessica Wolf). Meanwhile, the FBI is after Scooter, presumably to know the secret of the boots, and not jealousy as to the fact that he's cleaning up crime in town. Will the Skid Kid live to skid again?



The Skid Kid is an extremely charming and endearing regional production from Missouri. Clearly it was a labor of love for all involved, especially director/writer/producer/editor/actor and all-around Skid Kid mastermind Glen Gruner. Just exactly how Gruner came up with this whackadoo idea is not yet known, but the fact that he put his passion to work by actually putting the time and effort into making this movie is quite impressive. His love for the idea of a kid who can sit on the ground and move with the speed of a car is the overriding feeling here, and it's pretty infectious.


You know you're in good hands when, after the initial skidding scene ends, there's a kid with a mullet doing an extended wheelie on his bike. Very extended. The music throughout the film is very booming and rousing (and clearly sourced from somewhere with big orchestras). It's all populated with non-professional actors and is shot on what appears to be 8MM film. This gives it a 70's look and feel at times, even though the official release date is 1991.


The Skid Kid has other powers as well, as he can make skateboards appear out of nowhere. He gives one to a local tot who seems happy about it. The magical boots run on soda (how Scooter figures this out is never explained, but doesn't need to be), which leads to dialogue such as, and I quote, "I need more soda for my boots." You don't hear that said too often. That's why The Skid Kid is a treasure.


Scooter's catchphrase is "Gotta Scoot!" - BEFORE he becomes The Skid Kid. It's almost like he was fulfilling his destiny when he found the boots. He truly was born to scoot. Like any good Godfrey Ho movie, it all ends with a classic Final Field Fight. The closest comparison we can provide about The Skid Kid, with its family-friendly tone and aspiring filmmakers, is Kindergarten "Ninja" (1994), but the production values on that even surpass The Skid Kid. But it's okay, because it's all in fun.



Apparently the Wolf family, the most famous of which is Scott, was involved in the production. It would be interesting to hear him talk about this in an interview. Nevertheless, even if you don't like The Skid Kid, it's only 70 minutes. If truth be told, that is the perfect running time, because at that point the audience is pretty much Skid Kid'ed out. But it's a fun ride while it lasts.


Thanks to the VHS collecting community, there is more awareness now about The Skid Kid. Because of Instagram, YouTube, and other social media, lesser-seen local gems like this can gain wider exposure.


If you don't mind some local color, and you're up for watching the type of movie you and your friends could have made - or perhaps did make - give The Skid Kid a spin.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Toy Soldiers (1984)

 Toy Soldiers (1984)- * *

Directed by: David Fisher 

Starring: Jason Miller, Cleavon Little, Terri Garber, Larry Poindexter, Jim Greenleaf, Tracy Scoggins, and Tim Robbins 

A man known only as Sarge (Miller) is a former Marine and Vietnam vet who now takes college kids on vacations to Central America on his yacht for fun and profit. On one particular excursion near Panama, some of the kids are taken hostage by "rebels" AKA the usual El Presidente types. Sarge, Amy (Garber), Boe (Robbins), Trevor (Pointexder) and some of the others manage to escape back to L.A.




But, on the urging on Amy, they decide to get into training mode so they can go back to rescue Monique (Scoggins), the injured Tom (Greenleaf), and other kids from their group that were left behind. Towards that end, they team up with Buck (Little), a pilot and former soldier that's willing to help them. Eventually they face off against the Central American fighters during their rescue mission. But are these college kids true warriors...or a bunch of TOY SOLDIERS?




Someone should really ask Tim Robbins about this movie. I think we're all curious as to his experiences as far as the making of Toy Soldiers goes. It all starts off in classic Romp fashion, with guys and girls in bathing suits on a yacht, pulling pranks on each other and laughing it up while synths play on the soundtrack. This was probably the best part of Toy Soldiers. Of course, Robbins is no stranger to Romps, as he was also in Fraternity Vacation (1985), which shares similarities with this first section of the film.




However, after this initial first blast of fun, things settle quickly down into a mediocre, by-the-numbers dullsville that we've all seen before. Examples - some of which are better than others - include Night Force (1987), Out of Control (1985), Damned River (1989), and Hired to Kill (1990), just to name a few. When the audience is begging your movie to be more like Mankillers (1987), you know there are some serious issues at hand.




It's the same old-same old El Presidente slog we're all quite familiar with at this point. Toy Soldiers (not to be confused with that other Toy Soldiers from 1991) is boring and standard, with nothing to really hang your hat on. To add insult to injury, all the guys in the movie wear the shortest shorts you've ever seen.


Most of the "action" only appears at the end, when there's some shooting and exploding huts during the final rescue mission. But what about the other 80 or so minutes? Hmmmm...



While there are some fun musical cues and stings on the soundtrack, it's just not enough to overcome the movie's many flaws. Probably the most obvious of which is that there is no character development so the audience doesn't really care what happens to either the college kids or the Jason Miller or Cleavon Little characters. It should have been the latter two busting heads and fighting the baddies as the main thrust of the plot.



Much like an episode of The Golden Girls, we get a "highlight reel" of moments we've just suffered through behind the end credits. So we all have the privilege of saying, "Wow, remember when Tim Robbins and the nerd guy smashed the watermelon?" - because, as part of their "training", in order to face off against deadly machine-gunners with nothing to lose, they hit a watermelon with a bat.

Featuring an end credits song that sounds a lot like Bertie Higgins' "Key Largo", Alan Graham's "It Couldn't Be Better" is truly a misnomer. The song should have been, "It Should've Been Better".



Released by New World Home Video on VHS in America, Toy Soldiers is a by-the-numbers dud and is inessential viewing.



Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty