Hangfire (1991)

Hangfire (1991)-*

Directed by: Peter Maris

Starring: Jan Michael-Vincent, Brad Davis, Lee De Broux, Kim Delaney, Yaphet Kotto, George Kennedy, Ken Foree, Lyle Alzado, James Tolkan, and Lou Ferrigno












Kuttner (De Broux) is an inmate at the New Mexico State Penitentiary. At his parole hearing, he is determined by the board, including by psychologist Maria Slayton (Delaney), to be an extremely dangerous psychopath.  During a freak accident involving a poison gas cloud that is a really stupid pretext for a prison escape, Kuttner, along with his eyepatchioed right-hand man, uncannily enough named “Patch” (Tolkan), kidnap a bunch of people  - one of which is Maria - and take an entire Western-style town hostage. 

Maria’s husband, Isaac “Ike” Slayton (Davis), who is a Vietnam vet and also a town sheriff,  teams up with his buddy Billy (Foree) to take down the baddies. But the National Guard is called in, and their leader is the hard-headed Lt. Col. Johnson (Vincent), who doesn’t approve of Ike and Billy’s methods. Who will prevail: Johnson, the local cops (headed up by Yaphet Kotto who is insultingly only credited as “Police Lieutenant”), or the bad guys?

In 1981, The Rolling Stones released their song, “Hangfire”. Most people would agree that by that point in their career, they were past their prime. So it seems fitting that this movie under review today would have the same moniker as a less-than-fresh source. Hangfire - the movie - is a shameful waste of an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime cast. You might think, looking at the cast list, that you can’t lose. Unfortunately, we learned the hard way that you definitely can. 

We’ve been burned before by movies with awesome casts that turned out to be not so awesome. The least punishing example being Lone Tiger (1999), the most punishing being Detour (1998). It’s truly a case of “too many cooks spoiling the broth”. Don’t be fooled by the stellar cast. It only makes you wonder: “Why would they all agree to this?”

The talent of pretty much everyone in the cast is completely wasted in this cliche-ridden (in a bad way), lackluster, unfun, overly-serious slog. George Kennedy has a throwaway role as a prison warden. Nothing is done with it. Same with Kotto as the cop. Kim Delaney says almost no dialogue in the movie. JMV inexplicably smokes a pipe, which, sadly enough was a movie highlight. You usually don’t see the gruff, beret-ed, uniformed commander lighting up his meerschaum. 

And here’s the ultimate waste: Lou Ferrigno and Lyle Alzado as prison buddies Smitty and Albert (respectively). They almost could have carried an entire movie on their own, but their scenes together are pointless and incredibly dumb. Along with JMV’s pipe, Alzado’s mullet is the only other bright spot in this otherwise lifeless movie.

The problem is, this movie is not well-written, and thanks to an almost total lack of character development, you really don’t care about what happens. Any one or two of the characters should have had time spent by the filmmakers on fleshing them out. But Maris splits the difference and spends no time on any. That’s the danger of a super-cast. Hangfire is so paint-by-numbers, and so painful to sit through, we coined a new term, “pain-by-numbers”. 

Did we mention the similarities to the also-awful Fear (1988), the dank, dark lighting, and the annoying musical stings? A few humorous crossbow shots and Brad Davis prancing around in zebra makeup (presumably to hide from the bad guys?) isn’t enough to save this dud.

But what’s really insulting to the audience are the unspeakably horrendous gun muzzle flashes. Here’s where it gets to “Sci-Fi channel original movie” territory, with crudely-superimposed “flashes” that aren’t even laughably bad, they’re just bad. Muzzle flashes are one of the joys of action movies, and Maris duly crosses that off his “I made this suck” checklist. Perhaps fortunately, it’s not like these crimes against muzzle flashes ruin an otherwise good movie. 

In this case there’s nothing to ruin. So structurally it’s no harm no foul. Visually it’s just foul. This is the fourth Peter Maris movie we’ve seen to date (though we’re not planning on seeing any more) - the others being Terror Squad (1988) - which featured fan favorite Chuck Connors - Ministry Of Vengeance (1989), and Diplomatic Immunity (1991). Let’s put it this way: we’d trade this whole cast for one Chuck Connors.

The excellent cast is just a distraction - even a misdirection in true grifter style - to the fact that Hangfire is a movie you must avoid.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Fresh Kill (1987)

Fresh Kill (1987)-* *1\2

Directed by: Joesph Merhi

Starring: Flint Keller, Del Zamora, Pamela Dixon, Ron Preston, Tricia Parks, and Robert Z'Dar













Allen Chester (Keller) is an aspiring actor who moves from his hometown of Chicago to Hollywood to pursue his dream. While he works on breaking into the movie biz, he works at a butcher shop. His co-worker is blonde weirdo Carter (Preston) who assesses his work performance by how many times he sneezes in people’s meat purchases. One night while waiting until midnight for the meat truck to arrive (is this common practice?), a mysterious woman pops into the shop and asks for Allen’s help. Her name is Leona Alexander (Parks), and it seems she’s trying to escape the clutches of criminal overlord Manny (Z’Dar). After accidentally killing some goons, the pair go on the run. Manny is especially mad because he believes Leona has two million dollars worth of his money and drugs. Meanwhile, Allen and Leona work through their mistrust issues and form a bond. Eventually Allen, Carter and a friend of theirs who is a street swindler act as makeshift mercenaries and stage a raid on Manny’s compound. Who will then become the FRESH KILL?

Fresh Kill is one of the better City Lights titles we’ve seen in terms of quality of acting, and technically as well it’s an improvement over past efforts. As we’ve discussed before, we find something inexplicably alluring about City Lights movies, and despite no-nothings bashing some of the more amateurish aspects of their output, we’ve seen almost all of them as of the time of this writing. Many of the CL regulars are in front of and behind the camera, and John Gonzales’ score is one of his best and helps the movie a lot.

Flint Keller as Allen Chester (or is it Allen Chester as Flint Keller?) is actually a likable main character, as opposed to the unlikable central characters in City Lights’ Mayhem (1986). He even goes through a character arc. Like Allen Chester, The Flintster should have done more in his acting career. Another draw for this movie is the presence of the great Robert Z’Dar. It was an early role and he looks svelte. Better things were yet to come in his career, but he does add a lot here. Also adding to the strength of the cast is Steve Welles as Mike, who runs an airplane hanger. This man is an American hero, as well as an American treasure.

Besides Mike, Fresh Kill is filled with odd characters and off-kilter situations. This comes through in the scene when Allen and Leona go to hide out at Leona’s mother’s house, and she and her mother smoke a pipe while the three of them watch torture porn. It seems pretty awkward for Allen. And the way writer/director Joseph Merhi depicts L.A. as crime-ridden, even lawless is also very entertaining. Merhi once again seems influenced by the classic Film Noir era - but Fresh Kill was shot during the L.A. big hair era. The mashup is amusing. And while the film does get a bit boring before the climax (a very common problem), there is also some over-the-top violence to keep things afloat.

Featuring the pounding song “Lost In the City“ by Gonzales (sung by Paul Shortino) - not to be confused with L.A. Crackdown II‘s “Lost In the Night”(doesn’t every City Lights movie have a song like this?), we want to know when a CD is coming out of all these songs. After all, this one is a movie highlight, and even plays during the first couple of scenes in the movie! Also it should be noted that there is a trailer for Heat Street after the movie. Fresh Kill remains one of the better gems in the tennis bracelet that is the City Lights Canon. It probably won’t be to everyone’s taste, but there are those of you out there who will want to check it out, if only for Robert Z’Dar. You know who you are. Flint Keller, we hardly knew ye.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty