Diplomatic Immunity (1991)

Diplomatic Immunity (1991)-* * *

Directed by: Peter Maris

Starring: Bruce Boxleitner, Billy Drago, Robert Miano, Robert Forster, Sharon Case, Ken Foree, Meg Foster, Fabiana Udenio, Christoper Neame, Robert DoQui, and Matthias Hues











Cole Hickel (Boxleitner) is a Vietnam vet and career Marine. He has a beautiful daughter, Ellen (Case) who gets mixed up with a murdering psychopath obsessed with macabre art, naturally named Klaus (Bresnahan). When Klaus kills Ellen, Cole is enraged and wants revenge. This normally would be easy, thanks to Hickel’s military training, but the worm-like Klaus is hiding behind his “Diplomatic Immunity” privileges and he flees to Paraguay where his mother, Gerta (Foster) is some kind of big shot. After being told not to go to Paraguay by government agent Stonebridge (Forster), Hickel disobeys and goes there (and goes rogue). Once in Paraguay, he meets up with his contact, Cowboy (Drago) and loads up on weapons. Now protecting Teresa (Udenio) from the baddies, which include Klaus’ bodyguard Gephardt (Hues), Hickel must use all his wits to get justice for his daughter and make it back to the U.S. alive. Can he do it?

This is the best Peter Maris movie we’ve seen to date. We were a bit hesitant going in, as we weren’t all that crazy about his past work that we’d seen, but we’re glad we did. Diplomatic Immunity is like a better version of his Ministry of Vengeance (1989). Plus, look at the amazing cast he assembled for this one! It truly is The Expendables of early-90’s revenge movies with Bruce Boxleitner. Speaking of Boxleitner, we thought it was good casting putting him in the role of Cole. It could have been some meathead, but he’s actually a good actor. We noticed Matt McColm among the stunt players, they could have used him. But they went with a more sober and believable direction. My only question is, are Bruce Boxleitner and Barry Bostwick two different people? Can anyone confirm this? Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time?

Backing up Cole Hickel - which is kind of an unnecessarily funny-sounding name - is a great cast, and we didn’t even mention Robert Miano and Ken Foree, who have small, but important parts. That’s the thing about all-star casts, talented actors don’t get enough time in the sun. For instance, Meg Foster deserved more. As did fan favorite Matthias Hues. But for a 90-minute running time, you have to concentrate on the plot and not get into diversions. Because the plot of 'Immunity is about as simple as it gets - guy wants revenge - Maris laudably keeps things on track, but such a flimsy plot just barely makes a 90-minute movie.

It seems this movie capitalized on the public’s interest for the concept of Diplomatic Immunity, because, for 1991, we presume people were just becoming aware of this term. This was still a relatively new thing in the minds of the public, so Maris was right there with a movie to exploit that interest. It does seem wildly unfair that Diplomatic Immunity could protect any old scumbag murderer who gets the opportunity  to say “I get to go home now scot-free, I plead Diplomatic Immunity, see ya.” Apparently you can be a murderer and get to invoke this privilege. So enter Cole Hickel and his rage that Klaus took his beloved daughter. So that’s pretty much the idea.

Maris should also be applauded for daring to put Billy Drago in a rare (and possibly his ONLY) good-guy role. Diplomatic Immunity is a solid, 80’s-style movie that’s worth seeing. Is it more than a one-time watch? Probably not, but it’s a worthwhile one. If you see it somewhere, pick it up.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Hangfire (1991)

Hangfire (1991)-*

Directed by: Peter Maris

Starring: Jan Michael-Vincent, Brad Davis, Lee De Broux, Kim Delaney, Yaphet Kotto, George Kennedy, Ken Foree, Lyle Alzado, James Tolkan, and Lou Ferrigno












Kuttner (De Broux) is an inmate at the New Mexico State Penitentiary. At his parole hearing, he is determined by the board, including by psychologist Maria Slayton (Delaney), to be an extremely dangerous psychopath.  During a freak accident involving a poison gas cloud that is a really stupid pretext for a prison escape, Kuttner, along with his eyepatchioed right-hand man, uncannily enough named “Patch” (Tolkan), kidnap a bunch of people  - one of which is Maria - and take an entire Western-style town hostage. 

Maria’s husband, Isaac “Ike” Slayton (Davis), who is a Vietnam vet and also a town sheriff,  teams up with his buddy Billy (Foree) to take down the baddies. But the National Guard is called in, and their leader is the hard-headed Lt. Col. Johnson (Vincent), who doesn’t approve of Ike and Billy’s methods. Who will prevail: Johnson, the local cops (headed up by Yaphet Kotto who is insultingly only credited as “Police Lieutenant”), or the bad guys?

In 1981, The Rolling Stones released their song, “Hangfire”. Most people would agree that by that point in their career, they were past their prime. So it seems fitting that this movie under review today would have the same moniker as a less-than-fresh source. Hangfire - the movie - is a shameful waste of an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime cast. You might think, looking at the cast list, that you can’t lose. Unfortunately, we learned the hard way that you definitely can. 

We’ve been burned before by movies with awesome casts that turned out to be not so awesome. The least punishing example being Lone Tiger (1999), the most punishing being Detour (1998). It’s truly a case of “too many cooks spoiling the broth”. Don’t be fooled by the stellar cast. It only makes you wonder: “Why would they all agree to this?”

The talent of pretty much everyone in the cast is completely wasted in this cliche-ridden (in a bad way), lackluster, unfun, overly-serious slog. George Kennedy has a throwaway role as a prison warden. Nothing is done with it. Same with Kotto as the cop. Kim Delaney says almost no dialogue in the movie. JMV inexplicably smokes a pipe, which, sadly enough was a movie highlight. You usually don’t see the gruff, beret-ed, uniformed commander lighting up his meerschaum. 

And here’s the ultimate waste: Lou Ferrigno and Lyle Alzado as prison buddies Smitty and Albert (respectively). They almost could have carried an entire movie on their own, but their scenes together are pointless and incredibly dumb. Along with JMV’s pipe, Alzado’s mullet is the only other bright spot in this otherwise lifeless movie.

The problem is, this movie is not well-written, and thanks to an almost total lack of character development, you really don’t care about what happens. Any one or two of the characters should have had time spent by the filmmakers on fleshing them out. But Maris splits the difference and spends no time on any. That’s the danger of a super-cast. Hangfire is so paint-by-numbers, and so painful to sit through, we coined a new term, “pain-by-numbers”. 

Did we mention the similarities to the also-awful Fear (1988), the dank, dark lighting, and the annoying musical stings? A few humorous crossbow shots and Brad Davis prancing around in zebra makeup (presumably to hide from the bad guys?) isn’t enough to save this dud.

But what’s really insulting to the audience are the unspeakably horrendous gun muzzle flashes. Here’s where it gets to “Sci-Fi channel original movie” territory, with crudely-superimposed “flashes” that aren’t even laughably bad, they’re just bad. Muzzle flashes are one of the joys of action movies, and Maris duly crosses that off his “I made this suck” checklist. Perhaps fortunately, it’s not like these crimes against muzzle flashes ruin an otherwise good movie. 

In this case there’s nothing to ruin. So structurally it’s no harm no foul. Visually it’s just foul. This is the fourth Peter Maris movie we’ve seen to date (though we’re not planning on seeing any more) - the others being Terror Squad (1988) - which featured fan favorite Chuck Connors - Ministry Of Vengeance (1989), and Diplomatic Immunity (1991). Let’s put it this way: we’d trade this whole cast for one Chuck Connors.

The excellent cast is just a distraction - even a misdirection in true grifter style - to the fact that Hangfire is a movie you must avoid.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Terror Squad (1988)

Terror Squad (1988)-* *

Directed by: Peter Maris

Starring: Chuck Connors, Ken Foree, Lisa Beth Ross, Brodie Greer, Kerry Wall, Bill Calvert, and Budge Threlkeld












Terrorists from Libya come to the United States - Kokomo, Indiana, to be precise, because they have an eye on the Blackriver Nuclear Plant. Presumably they want to blow it up in an act of terror. But not on Chief Rawlings’ (Connors) watch. Along with his right-hand man Dep. Brown (Foree), they chase the baddies all over town, until, for a reason that still isn’t entirely clear, they end up at Hoosier High School and break into the detention room.

Staying after school that day is a textbook (no pun intended) array of high school stereotypes: The cool dude, Johnny Dylan (Calvert), the cheerleader, Jennifer (Wall), the jock, the nerd, the “regular girl”, Larissa (Lisa Beth Ross), and the “space case”. Along with the teacher, Mr. Nero (the interestingly-named Budge Threlkeld), of course. What follows is your standard hostage drama as Connors and one of the terrorists battle over negotiations while the audience can’t tell what distance they are from each other. Will the bad guys leave Kokomo alive?

What’s fascinating about collecting VHS tapes from the golden age of the video store are the random remnants of history you’ll find. For example, on the back of the box for Terror Squad (released by Forum Home Video in 1988), is the following headline: “A Terrorist Attack in the United States - They Said it Could Never Happen...They Were Wrong.” In this post-9/11 world, where we all live with the threat of terror on a daily basis, and we’re constantly hearing about foiled (and, sadly, sometimes not foiled) terror attacks, this headline is of particular note. As if that wasn’t enough, the first sentence of the description goes thus: “The threats of Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi become a bloody reality in this explosive film of terrorist action.” It’s like it was ripped from the headlines! If only old Muammar had seen Terror Squad, his fate might have been different...

Continuing with the treasure trove that is the back of the VHS box, there’s a quote: “While Terror Squad owes much to Red Dawn (1984) and Invasion U.S.A. (1985)., it’s actually far superior to either”.  This according to the N.Y. Daily News, apparently. Assuming this quote is real and not taken out of context, whoever wrote it is as wrong as a doornail. Yeah, that’s the ticket. What this movie really is, is a cross between The Breakfast Club (1985) and the later Dolph vehicle Detention (2003). And the fact that there’s an extremely long, drawn out car chase in the middle recalls The Big Sweat (1991). The reason the chase is so long is because the movie, with its one-dimensional characters and wafer-thin plot that adds nothing new to the hostage drama genre, can’t fill out its 90 minute running time.

As far as some of the characters go, Johnny and the school janitor, Gus, have jam sessions on guitar in the janitor’s basement (with a crudely painted sign declaring it “Gus’s Headquarters”, as if it’s some kind of cool club). As they both play unlistenable simultaneous solos (which sound like a keyboard, as their finger movements don’t even come close to matching during this cacophony) - there’s actually a crowd of students watching this! And when they’re done, they clap! I know this happens at school all the time, but Johnny Dylan is one rockin’ dude with a bad attitude. As far as the nerd character (not sure of his official name, possibly  “Dinkle”), he’s s not just your classic glasses-wearing, voice-cracking, technology-having dork. He only uses his smarts to see leotard-wearing women work out on various computer screens. Thus making him the time-honored pervert nerd, or, “Perv-Nerd” we’ve all come to expect in 80’s movies.

As if all these stereotypes weren’t enough (did we mention the football player looks like he should be named “Ox”?), at the beginning of the movie, set in Libya, there’s a crowd of America-hating protesters, with signs like “Death to the great Satan”, and “Death to the American Dogs” - they’re standing outside Qaddafi’s palace - and Qaddafi HIMSELF makes an appearance! It’s amazing!

Back in America, it’s always great to see Chuck Connors. We love him. We also love Ken Foree, so that pair as the good guys really works. During the endless chases, shooting, rocket launchers, silly destruction, dumbness, and possibly an exploding helicopter, it’s nice to have these guys anchoring it. There’s even some bizarre humor in some scenes, which doesn’t really work overall in a movie supposedly about Islamic terror. There are even some glaring errors, such as a school bus that in one part of a scene is standard length, then magically becomes a “short bus”. Did they think the audience wouldn’t notice?

While this movie does wear out its welcome after a while (director Peter Maris was just then beginning on his career producing mediocre action movies), Terror Squad isn’t without its moments, and it does provide an interesting glimpse into the past. If you’re willing to forgive all its odd mistakes, it might be worth a one-time watch.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Army Of One (1993)

Army Of One (1993)-* * *

AKA: Joshua Tree

Directed by: Vic Armstrong

Starring: Dolph Lundgren, George Segal, Kristian Alfonso, and Ken Foree










Dolph plays Wellman Santee, a trucker involved in a shootout with his partner Eddie (Foree). Santee is framed when a cop dies and Santee goes to jail. He escapes and goes on the run with a woman named Rita. Meanwhile, Lt. Severance (Segal) is on the case, trying to track them down. Who is double-crossing who? Will Santee be able to clear his name?



Dolph puts in his usual likable performance. A movie highlight is when Dolph takes on the gang of Jimmy Shoeshine (Michael Paul Chan). It is an extended shoot-out sequence and is very well-shot and John Woo-esque. The scene even includes the slow-motion violence of Woo. It goes on for a long time, showing that this is what the audience has been waiting for, and it delivers well.




George Segal has a bushy mustache and straw hat and is evil. Army of One is pretty much standard fare in terms of the plot, and does go on a bit long at almost two full hours, but Dolph fans will still enjoy seeing their hero on screen.






Comeuppance review by: Ty

Night of the Warrior (1991)

Night of the Warrior (1991)-* *1\2

Directed By: Rafal Zielinski

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Ken Foree, James Lew, Anthony Geary, Kathleen Kinmont













Miles Keane (Lamas) is a motorcycle-riding smart-ass bad-ass who is an amateur photographer. He owns a club with his mother. He has to pay back a loan to gangster Lynch (Geary). In order to pay back the loan, rather than use money, he is forced to fight in, of course, underground punchfighting tournaments. After years of scrapping, Miles walks away from Lynch. For the next 45 minutes, he takes pictures of bums, falls in love with waitress Katherine (his real-life wife Kinmont, of Final Impact fame), She cannot fail to fall in love with him, after he says the immortal line: "Keep the change, it's been real." Miles then tends to his kabuki strippers in his club. When Lynch beats up Miles' mom and kidnaps Katherine, Miles is forced to fight one last time. Will Miles be able to defeat Lynch and go back to a life of photographing bums and ride off into the sunset on his Harley with Katherine?



Possibly a first in punchfighting movie history, in Night of the Warrior, men "mud-fight", and bite each other like animals. When this isn't delighting the eye of the viewer, there are Body Rock-like dance sequences. Of course, there is a training sequence featuring Lamas alone meditating with candles.

About Miles' fascination with bum photography, he claims in all earnestness, "I want to be inside them". Note he didn't say "their heads". There is an opera-singing bum meant to be comic relief, especially when he lets loose an operatic "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" If this silly subplot interests you, might we suggest Bums?

On the subject of comic relief, there is Coco the chef, Katherine's uncle. He has a silly long mustache and he burns all the food. On the subject of photography, Lynch has his own headshot, which he gives to Mom to give to Miles to say Katherine has been kidnapped. Isn't that weird?

Surprisingly, there is a sufficient lack of action here. There are really only two action scenes. Many of which feature Lamas karate-chopping people in the neck. As in Ring of Steel and Cobra, the climax occurs in a "steam factory". Apparently it's a great place to settle your disputes.

If you appreciate the other films in Lamas' oeuvre, you will get a kick out of Night of the Warrior!

Comeuppance review by Ty and Brett