4/28/2019

Active Stealth (1999)

Active Stealth (1999)-

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

Starring: Daniel Baldwin, Fred Williamson, Terry Funk, Hannes Jaenicke, Chick Vennera, Tim Abell, Joe Lala, and Shannon Whirry











When an evil Mexican drug lord (is there any other kind?) named Salvatore (Lala) and his henchman Morgan (Funk) take a member of our U.S. military hostage, we bring in the best men we have available to go on the rescue mission. Of course, that includes Captain “Murph” Murphy (Baldwin), a sullen and somewhat belligerent man who is haunted by his past. His wife Gina (Whirry) is supportive, but along with Chiccio (Vennera), Lt. Reb Carter (Abell), and “Hollywood” Andrews – because he wants to make it in Hollywood after his military career is over - (Robinson), the boys snap into action and use the awesome new stealth bomber for said mission. They even get help from “Special Guest” Andrew Stevens as Jack Stevens. Whoa. While south of the border, they make friends with a peasant woman and her young son as they find out Salvatore wants to “El Presidente” himself all the way to the top. Paralleling that back home, Captain Reynolds (Williamson) just may be part of conspiracy that also goes to the top.


Here we go again…if Stealth Fighter (1999), Desert Thunder (1999), Crash Dive (1996), its sequel Counter Measures (1999), Agent Red (2000), Air Rage (2001), and all the other Fred Olen Ray or Jim Wynorski-styled plane slogs from the late 90’s/early 2000’s weren’t enough for you, well, here’s another one. Not only does this not add anything to the genre, it actually takes away entertaining elements from the other ones. For example, there’s no precocious kid like a Sarah Dampf to at least make us chuckle here. We do get an Italian stereotype in Chiccio, but it’s just not the same. 



It’s not the “borrowed” footage from other movies that bothers us. We’re used to that by now. It’s the fact that this is a plane slog crossed with an El Presidente slog, two of our least favorite slogs. Just simply stitching them together does not a good movie make. It even knocks off one of our favorites, Commando (1985), with Lala and Funk taking on the Dan Hedaya and Vernon G. Wells roles respectively. There is a ton of groan-inducing dialogue, from the constant military jargon (a lot of which is inaccurate, from what we’ve been able to ascertain), to the noticeably-more-obvious-than-usual homosexual references when our heroes are trying to “bond”. It all will make you long for the glory of Delta Force Commando II: Priority Red One (1990).


And speaking of Fred Williamson, the star of the aforementioned film, let’s face it, this movie is unworthy of his talents. He’s not in it that much, but it even manages to tamp down and tame The Hammer. Not good. Daniel Baldwin puts in a perfunctory performance but seems more interested whenever there’s dialogue involving chili (there’s more than you might think). While casting Terry Funk as one of the baddies was a good idea, we would have liked to have seen Shannon Whirry in more than just the clichéd “worried wife” role. She should have taken a rocket launcher down to Mexico to blow up Salvatore. Then we’d be talking.


Sure, there’s a bunch of mindless shooting, and some helicopters “blow up” (is this stuff even real anymore?) but it’s very, very hard – if not impossible – to care. The Top Gun video game for Nintendo was more entertaining and well-made than this. It’s pretty much the dictionary definition of shelf filler.

The Stealth may be active but your brain cells will be inactive if you witness this muck. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

4/20/2019

Mission Manila (1988)

Mission Manila (1988)- * * 

Directed by: Peter Mackenzie

Starring: Larry Wilcox, Robin Eisenman, Sam Hennings, Al Mancini, Tetchie Agbayani, Jack S. Daniels, Henry Strzalkowski, and Willie Williams









“Web” Webster (Wilcox) is a mustachioed American gentleman who travels to – you guessed it – Manila to try to find his missing brother. Evidently, a mob boss named Harry Costelo (Mancini) doesn’t appreciate all of Web’s poking around his turf, so he makes Web’s life harder while he’s there. Harry is a heroin runner and Web’s brother Tony (Hennings) is somehow involved. Web has help in his quest in the form of Susie (Eisenman), but what’s his true relationship to the other woman in his life, Maria (Agbayani)? Will Web be able to weave his way out of the sticky situation he’s found himself in? What will be the final result of MISSION MANILA?




Unfortunately, Mission Manila, despite all of the promise inherent in the presence of Larry Wilcox, is weak. Its dearth of action reminded us of other nigh-on actionless movies such as Best Revenge (1984) and Sweet Revenge (1987). Just try to imagine Cocaine Wars (1985) without the majesty of John Schneider, and that’s pretty much what we’ve got here. Director Mackenzie even worked with Schneider much later in his career with a film called Doonby (2013), so he must have a type. Mackenzie also directed the Asher Brauner vehicle Merchants of War (1989), and astute viewers will note some similarities between that and Mission Manila, if they care to put in the effort to do so. Interestingly, the aforementioned two movies - plus ‘Manila - are the only ones Mackenzie has directed in his career. 




‘Manila had all the ingredients for a winner: it was shot in the Philippines, it featured regulars of the action movies shot there such as Willie Williams, Henry Strzalkowski, and a rare appearance from the great Jack S. Daniels, a simple plot that could have allowed for a lot of action, and Larry Wilcox unmoored from the ball and chain that was Erik Estrada.


What we do get is a silly alley fight that lasts a few seconds, a brief shootout, the world’s stupidest (and most laugh-inducing) neck snap, and maybe a blow-up at the end. What about the other 90 minutes? Larry Wilcox’s big weapon (as featured in the trailer, leading us to believe he will be using it a lot, which he doesn’t) is a slingshot. Like some overgrown Dennis the Menace, Larry Wilcox has blonde hair and a slingshot. All of this could have been so easy to fix, it’s criminal. Wilcox and Eisenman should have rampaged all through Manila, shooting, beating up, and rocket launcher-ing many baddies. Would that have been so hard? Instead, Mancini insists on calling everyone a “ratbag” and Eisenman gets tied to train tracks like in the days of yore. Yawn. 



While it does have some interesting cinematography at times, that wouldn’t have caused anyone to pick Mission Manila off the shelf of their local video store back in the good old days. With all the choices we as patrons had at our fingertips, it’s hard to imagine anyone purposefully choosing Mission Manila. What ‘Manila really seems to be is a bellwether – a sign that the golden age of the 80’s was gone and the 90’s were here. In the very near future, action movies – in the Philippines and elsewhere – would become watered down.

Also Larry Wilcox goes to a bar called The Hobbit House with an all-midget staff. This must have been a real place, because a diminutive bartender named Goliath is credited as himself. So maybe this movie has some bright points after all.


Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty