Fists Of Steel (1989)

 

Fists Of Steel (1989)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Jerry Schafer

Starring: Carlos Palomino, Marianne Marks, Robert Tessier, Rockne Tarkington, and Henry Silva

Carlos "Conquistador" Diaz (Palomino) is an ex-Marine who served in 'Nam. Due to some sort of accident with his hands, his knuckle and finger bones were replaced with metal joints. Hence, he truly has FISTS OF STEEL. The CIA tries to recruit Diaz because they want to catch an evil baddie named Shogi (Silva) and his sidekick Katrina (Marks), who is described as "The Best". Naturally, at first Carlos is unimpressed with the CIA's offer, but when they show him what appears to be news footage of Shogi killing his father, he then gets hoppin' mad and goes on his own mission to get revenge against Shogi. He ends up traveling to Hawaii, where he encounters more baddies, such as Saylor (Tessier) and Rijar (Tarkington). But will Shogi feel the wrath of Diaz's FISTS OF STEEL?


Fists of Steel - not to be confused with Hands of Steel (1986), the classic Paco Queruak vehicle - starts with a cool song and logo, so the audience immediately gets sucked in. Then we see Henry Silva's Shogi character, inexplicably dressing up as various different characters in order to kill people. Just why he does this is never explained later in the film. Maybe the idea is that he's just so evil, he enjoys playing a bit of dress-up as a hobby as he kills his prey.


You really do care about Carlos's plight, and the whole thing overall has an odd vibe that's easy to love. As of this writing, Fists of Steel is a VERY rare movie, and not deserving of its hard-to-find status. You've gotta love Carlos's gym buddies and some of the other non-actors that give FOS a lot of flavor. No one knows why Silva is named Shogi, but Tessier is a sailor named...Saylor. Makes sense.


Every supposed flaw of Fists of Steel could be turned into a positive. For example, the movie is very repetitive - it seems there wasn't a lot of plot to be developed in between the fight/action scenes, so a lot of dialogue is repeated multiple times - but that can be very funny. The idea that the Carlos Diaz character has metal hands isn't really played up to the fullest - usually that just means that an extra-loud noise is heard whenever he punches anybody. That's pretty much the extent of it. But it all works out in the end because no one ever said all of this is supposed to be on a completely even keel.


With that in mind, there are two twists towards the end of the film (don't worry, no spoilers here). Let's just say that one is completely unsurprising, and the other one is truly a surprise. As if a movie of this sort even needed a twist, here they give you two. Or, really, in our eyes, one. But Palomino facing off against at least two guys who exclusively play baddie roles - Silva and Tessier - it's all worth it right there.


Director Jerry Schafer worked with Francis Ford Coppola on one of his first projects, Tonight For Sure (1962), and then a scant 19 years later directed Female Mud Wrestling Championships (1981), a documentary about female mud wrestling championships. This project featured both Carlos Palomino (as a referee) and Marianne Marks (as an interviewer), which led into his final directorial project, Fists of Steel. What a career.


Featuring the memorable songs "Eyes of the Stranger" by Nicci Sill, and "Left With the Right" by Robert Terry, Fists of Steel is a worthwhile and fun watch, if you can find it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

No Safe Haven (1987)

No Safe Haven (1987)-* *1\2

Directed by: Ronnie Rondell Jr.

Starring: Wings Hauser, Robert Tessier, Tom Campitelli, and Branscombe Richmond











Clete Harris (Hauser) is a CIA agent who is undercover in Honduras, using a remote Peace Corps station for his base. When he finds out his beloved brother Buddy (Campitelli), a star football player, was murdered in a drug deal gone wrong, Clete comes back to America to find the culprit. This evildoer even killed his own mother. It turns out it’s psychotic gangster Manuel (Richmond) and his gang of goons. Clete then makes it his mission to track them all down and get revenge. To help him in this mission, he recruits Popeye (Tessier), a survivalist type. They both end up in Bolivia and the final battle ensues.

No Safe Haven starts humorously enough, with Branscombe Richmond screaming while shooting his guns, and a Roger Corman-style “fast motion” car chase follows. Once Wings appears on screen, we remember why we’re watching this. He brings his classic charisma in spades.  Richmond makes a great baddie, and his over-the-top yelling and drug-running, loan-sharking evilness make you want to see more of his work. He makes a great villain to play opposite the lovable Wings.

Robert Tessier almost steals the movie as the down-and-dirty Popeye. True to his name, he even proudly sports a corncob pipe! Thankfully he also has his no-shirt-and-jean-jacket combo as well to round out his wardrobe. It was nice to see him in a kindlier performance. He can easily play a heavy, as evidenced in Future Zone (1990).

This movie is the only directorial effort to date from Ronnie Rondell, a man well-known in the stunt world. His inexperience shows in some of the pacing - it slows way down before the climax, which is a common pitfall, but the movie becomes an El Presidente flick seemingly out of the blue right at the last minute. While that might seem a bit mundane, the reason, presumably, why it happens in the first place is that Clete and Popeye’s revenge mission is so uncontrollable and grandiose, they want to get revenge on cocaine itself! And seeing as how we may have just built this solid, but small B-film up to heights it doesn’t really reach, we should mention how clunky some of the acting by the non-leads is. Just check out the Harris mother.

One of the more interesting things about No Safe Haven is the box art. It seems to be a specially posed picture in a studio by Wings. It wasn’t taken right from the movie, it is its own photography.  And the theme song of the film, played during the end credits is “dream girls”, by none other than Isaac Hayes! That was a surprise. Too bad he wasn’t in the movie as an actor.

In all, No Safe (as all the cool people call it) is enjoyable because of the main presence of Wings Hauser, and to a lesser extent Robert Tessier and Branscombe Richmond. Without these guys, it would have been a different and more trying experience. Thank goodness for them.

Also check out our Wings buddy DTVC's review!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Future Force (1989)

Future Force (1989)-* *

Directed by: David A. Prior

Starring: David Carradine, Dawn Wildsmith, Anna Rapagna,  D.C. Douglas, Robert Tessier, and William Zipp















In the future, crime is so rampant that regular police are overworked. Enter C.O.P.S., a private firm that is like law enforcement/bounty hunters. It stands for Civilian Operated Police Systems. The big hotshot of the C.O.P.S. is one John Tucker (Carradine). With the help of his computer nerd buddy Billy (Douglas), he always gets his man. After it is thought that TV news reporter Marion Sims (Rapagna) has some incriminating dirt on corrupt Adams (Zipp), the head of the C.O.P.S., he frames her for, of all things, treason, and now all the bounty hunters are after her. Luckily (or perhaps not), Tucker gets to her first. Now Tucker and Sims are on the run from their former co-workers, who all shoot to kill. Adams and his sidekick Becker (Tessier) are ruthless, especially against someone who is “not on their payroll”, i.e. Tucker. But Tucker has a secret weapon, a “power glove” that must be seen to be believed....

Here, director David Prior steals from everything ranging from Death Race 2000 (1975) to The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) to The Gauntlet (1977) to Robocop (1987), and it all has an especially junky feel. Even the cartoon COPS, which debuted on TV in 1988 (in that case it stood for Central Organization of Police Specialists), and the “original reality show” Cops, which debuted in 1989, might have been reference points for Prior, as they were contemporary shows in the general consciousness.

But the filmmakers must have had problems with the timeline, as even though Future Force was released in ‘89, the “far off future time” was a full two years later, 1991! Couldn’t they do just a bit better? Then again, they could have been aping yet another 80’s classic, Max Headroom, which takes place 23 minutes into the future. But this seems like it could have been a potential Ron Marchini vehicle, as it has the same cheap, “futuristic”, garbagey scenario, you know it’s the future because all the baddies wear baseball caps, and Carradine gives a flat, unlikable performance. Even “John Travis” (one of Marchini’s characters) and “John Tucker” are not far off, and Zipp’s portrayal of Adams is kind of D.W. Landingham-esque. Was this originally meant for Marchini, but Carradine was used instead?

Carradine seems bored/tired/uninterested/perturbed in his role as Tucker, and even though he was 53 years old at the time of shooting, it is said he is 40. We’re not saying all action stars have to be young guys - look at Eastwood (an obvious influence on this film) - but come on. If the main star is not up for it, it can drag the movie down. While Carradine can do better, perhaps the influence of Marchini was just too strong. We know they know each other, at the very least, because they did a movie together, Karate Cop (1991). It’s almost funny how much Carradine openly seems like he doesn’t even want to be there. But on the bright side, he has an awesome vest.

As far as the baddies, William Zipp gives the best performance we’ve seen of his to date. He sinks his teeth into his villain role. His sidekick Becker (interestingly also the name of his sidekick in Jungle Assault, but played by Ted Prior), is a good heavy, and the actor that played him, Robert Tessier, has had a long career which contains everything from One Man Force (1989) to Beverly Hills Brats (1989) to No Safe Haven (1987).

All of Tucker’s C.O.P.S. co-workers are goofy-looking dudes (except for genre stalwart Dawn Wildsmith) and they hang out at a strip club called the Demilitarized Zone, but in the movie, they misspell “demilitarized”! Come on. Little things like that go to illustrate the sloppiness of the overall production.

It may seem we’ve been a bit hard on Future Force, and Carradine’s perhaps-uncaring performance has something to do with that (even though he’s credited as a co-producer, so you’d think he’d care more, or at least put on that face), but if you take into account everything we’ve said so far, you could still have a grand old time watching this movie. It’s “cheap and cheerful” as they say, and there are plenty of fun and funny moments. Plus it has some memorable Steve McClintock music, as is common for AIP, and has a short running time of less than 80 minutes.

Seemingly one of the more popular AIP titles, you might be able to find this at closing video stores or thrift shops. If you do, pick it up...but don’t get on John Tucker’s bad side.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty