Last Hour (2008)

 

Last Hour (2008)- * *

Directed by: Pascal Caubet

Starring: Michael Madsen, DMX, Tony D'Amario, Tommy Wong, Krystana Ferentz,  Pascal "Kobe" Caubet, Monica Cruz, Paul Sorvino, and David Carradine

When a group of "dangerous men with guns" are summoned to a house somewhere in China, a potentially volatile situation presents itself. They all have nicknames, and they are: Monk (Madsen), Mr. Casino (D'Amario), Black Jack (DMX), Poker (Caubet), and Shang (Wong). A woman nicknamed Poison (Ferentz) invites them into the house. After a lot of mutual suspicion, they find out they can't get out and they only have an hour to live. Detectives Mike Stone (Carradine) and Rosa Mulero (Cruz) from the NYPD follow them to the house and a standoff begins. And what does Steinfeld (Sorvino) have to do with any of this? Will it be THE LAST HOUR for our assembled houseguests?


If you loved the utter incoherence of Diamond Cartel (2015), also starring Madsen, you'll also love The Last Hour. It's pretty surprising that they weren't directed by the same person. The Last Hour isn't a movie in the traditional sense that we all know, it's more of a 95-minute series of disjointed, puzzling incongruities. If you've seen one or the other of these whackadoo outings, you'll know what we're talking about. If you haven't, it's hard to recommend them outright, but we can guarantee you won't see anything like them.


This isn't to be confused with The Last Hour (1991) starring Michael Pare and Shannon Tweed - this particular Last Hour is directed by, and stars, a French gentleman named Pascal Caubet who goes by the name Kobe. The Last Hour was his first and last theatrical (i.e. not a telefilm) outing to date and lord only knows what he was thinking.



The first third or so of the film jumps from Reno, to New York, to San Diego, to "Somewhere in Eastern Europe", to Beijing, to Miami, to Macau, to Hong Kong, and probably some other places we've forgotten. With each place, we seemingly get a new plot. When we finally land at the "13th Precinct" in NYC, we find out that this particular precinct doesn't use lights. New York's finest wander around in literal darkness as they try to solve crimes.


Before all this, we get a trailer-like montage of scenes that we're about to see. Then during the opening credits, many of them are illegible. Perhaps they were trying to be so cool, they forgot to include a readable font. At some point we're introduced to Michael Madsen's hair, which looks like someone glued a kid's stuffed lion doll on his head. Kobe's accent is impenetrably thick most of the time.


DMX seems to be trying to inject some much-needed energy into the proceedings, but it all comes up against the brick wall of the quizzical, shoulder-shrugging randomness of the film itself. He mainly ends up yelling and pointing his gun at people, which is what almost every character does. Points should also go to Tony D'Amario as Mr. Casino, who was one of the better characters. He was known for his appearance in District B13 (2004), but, sadly, The Last Hour was D'Amario's final screen appearance. While D'Amario passed away in 2005, the film was released three years later, in '08. His career was just getting going. That was truly unfortunate.


More than likely thanks to the fact that Caubet somehow managed to wrangle a very solid B-Movie cast together for this, it received a DVD release. There are no features on the disc which might explain what the heck we just watched. Because none of this makes any sense, it's hard to care about the characters or what happens to be happening to them. If none of the above bothers you, feel free to check it out, but you've been warned.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Treasure Raiders (2007)

 Treasure Raiders (2007)- * * *

Directed by: Brent Huff

Starring: Alexander Nevsky, Sherilyn Fenn, Steven Brand, William Shockley, Robert Madrid, and Andrew Divoff

After an intro featuring some Knights Templar and an explanation of the Templar treasure, we're soon introduced to hip, hot, n' happening history professor Michael Nazzaro (Brand). Brand fancies himself an amateur archaeologist on the side, and he funds his expeditions by competing in illegal street races. Makes sense so far. On the racing circuit, he meets a colorful character named Sergei "Wolf" Volkanov (Nevsky). He's a hulking brute, but he's charming, so everybody likes him.


After being introduced to Wolf and his wife Lena (Fenn), the two men decide to go all in together to find the Templar treasure. Meanwhile, the mysterious Pierre Samonon (Carradine) enters Nazzaro's life and wants to know what he's up to. During all this, the police are keeping tabs on Wolf's activities. They think he's involved in drugs, even though he's actually finding Moscow's drugs and dumping them and asking for no credit. Cronin (Divoff) wants answers. As if all that wasn't enough, there's intrigue involving a man named Beekeeper (Jason Newsted lookalike Shockley) and Dr. Pablo Ramirez (Madrid). Will Wolf and Nazzaro live to race/find treasure another day?

Treasure Raiders is a rather unexpected cross between National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007) and The Fast and the Furious (2001), served up with an Alexander Nevsky twist. Who would concoct such a thing? That would be Nevsky, of course. They should have called the movie Treasure Racers. We think that makes sense. It's more like the National Treasure sequel because both deal with Templar treasure, but interestingly they both came out the same year. Its closer DTV relatives could be said to be The Minion (1998) or The Order (2001).


We thought, based on the name 'Treasure Raiders', that it would be people poking around the jungle for 90 minutes, looking for one of those old-timey treasure boxes. That's not what this is at all. Treasure Raiders features more illegal street racing than the title would imply. Not to mention Nevsky drinking vodka and flexing.


Treasure Raiders actually seems to get better as it goes along, culminating in the scene where Nevsky is shooting two pistols sideways with his arms outstretched in opposite directions. Nevsky's line readings alone are enough to keep the whole thing afloat, in our opinion. His low-pitched, flat, 'if-Schwarzenegger-can-do-it-than-why-can't-I' deliveries are very enjoyable to listen to.


He's definitely in the spotlight here, which leaves little scraps on the table for good gets like Sherilyn Fenn and David Carradine. Fenn especially is frustratingly underused. To get someone of her caliber for a nothing role like this was a shame. Her main job was to fawn over Nevsky. Oh well. She doesn't have to feel bad, as Carradine and Divoff don't do very much either.


Further highlights include a baddie shooting a machine gun, ironically wearing a Choose Life jacket (Wham! must be huge in Russia still), the time-honored Barfight, and a guy trying to shield himself from an explosion using a pizza box.


In the end, Treasure Raiders isn't exactly a masterpiece of cinema (did you expect it to be?) - but it's a pretty good example of DTV bein' DTV in 2007. Take a little bit from this column, a little from that one, and see what shakes out. It's mostly entertaining, if quite silly. You could do a lot worse.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Crime Of Crimes (1989)

Crime Of Crimes (1989)- * * *

Directed by: Alfredo Zacarias

Starring: David Carradine, Aldo Ray, Richard Yniguez, Miguel Rodriguez, Jimmy Williams, and Jeff Celentano 

Something sinister is happening on the streets of L.A. A kidnapper of children, using an ice cream truck for cover, is on the loose. A man by the name of Johnson (Ray) is the driver of said truck, but he's not a molester as you might think. He's shipping them off to someone credited as The 'Mad' Doctor (Williams) so their organs can be sold on the black market. Unfortunately for a good-natured dad named Paco Mendoza (Yniguez), two cops named Young (Celentano) and Silva (Rodriguez) think he's the culprit. Captain Frank McEntire (Carradine) doesn't know what to believe.

When Paco's daughter is abducted while he's being held in jail, the officers reluctantly have to admit he's not their guy. But now it's a race against time to find the organ harvesters and stop them before Paco's daughter is the next victim. Can anyone put an end to the CRIME OF CRIMES?

Just to avoid any confusion, Jesus Christ is the King of Kings. An obese, sweating Aldo Ray luring children into his ice cream truck so he can sell their organs is the Crime of Crimes. Now that that's cleared up, we can move on.

You might be wondering why we're taking such a lighthearted tone with such supposedly dark subject matter. That's because Crime of Crimes is such a goofball movie - as you might expect from director Alfredo Zacarias, the man behind the wonderfully whackadoo classic Demonoid (1981). COC (that's Crime of Crimes, not Corrosion of Conformity, as I'm sure the two get mixed up all the time), despite its presumably serious (?) intentions, comes off like one of those "disconnected from reality" movies, the closest comparison here being the canon of Amir Shervan. Besides, it's hard to see the seriousness of abducted children when a container of pee is being thrown in an old man's face. Yes, that happens. And it's not in a romp like Screwball's Vacation (1984). It's right here in Crime of Crimes!

Organ-harvesting movies have a rich tradition going back many years. B.O.R.N. (1989), The Harvest (1992), Pound of Flesh (2015), the list goes on and on. But Crime of Crimes has something all its competitors don't: a cast made of 80 percent English-As-A-Second-Language speakers. It's almost like Zacarias went out of his way to go to an ESL night class to cast his movie. Of course, the first credit you see on screen when you start the tape is "A David Carradine Production" - always words you want to see - so maybe he's behind that decision. Carradine chomps a cigar so enthusiastically, you can't tell a word he's saying either. 

Consequently, this might be the most unintelligible movie we've seen in years. Needless to say, that's a compliment, as it only adds to the ridiculous nature of everything we're seeing here, including the faces people make, their reactions, line readings, etc. It's all gold. Especially the enjoyably silly plot contrivances you just have to see to truly appreciate.


Jeff Celentano (credited here as Jeff Weston), was in Code Name Zebra (1987) and The Revenger (1990), among other action movies, before this one. He helps a lot to keep the movie afloat, and his partner Silva, as played by Miguel Angel Rodriguez, can't speak English too well, but that's ignored by everyone. It didn't stop Rodriguez from having a huge career in Mexico, however. Aldo Ray and Carradine are the names here (although Yniguez was on seemingly every TV show in the 70's and 80's) and it's all a bunch of fun, "what were they thinking?" sort of entertainment.


Released in the golden year of 1989, the VHS tape of Crime of Crimes appears to be quite rare. Released on VCI Home Video, as if this whole outing wasn't nutty enough, after the credits there is a PSA done by an organization from Carrollton, Texas that is trying to save the children. They seem very well-meaning. They didn't seem to realize that putting their PSA after a nutty movie like Crime of Crimes might not be the best way to achieve their goals. But, hey, you gotta start somewhere.

Crime of Crimes is a solid case of "only in the 80's, only in video stores could this have happened". Do check it out. For the CHILDREN!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett  and Ty

Dead Center (1993)

 

Dead Center (1993)- * *

Directed by: Steve Carver

Starring: Justin Lazard, Rachel York, Eb Lottimer, and David Carradine

Joe (Lazard) is one bad dude. He's a career criminal with a bad temper. He pretty much fights or shoots everyone he sees. After an illegal art deal gone wrong (as opposed to the usual drug deal gone wrong), Joe is facing death row after he shoots some police officers. That's when the shadowy figures of Mary (York) and Sanders (Lottimer) enter the picture. They offer to mold this criminal lump of clay into a lean, mean fighting machine that pulls off secret assassinations for them. This may be starting to sound a little familiar to you at this point. So, after a period of extensive training, Joe is ready for the world. But after some conspiracies and some double or perhaps triple crosses occur, Joe doesn't know who to trust. Is it Mary? Is it Sanders? Could it be someone else? Looks like Crazy Joe may just have to hit his target DEAD CENTER if he wants to get out of this jam alive...

It has been noted before that Dead Center is pretty much the male version of La Femme Nikita (1990) or Point of No Return (1993). That is true, so that saves a lot of time in describing what the movie is. If you've seen those films, and want to see Justin Lazard in the main role, well, here ya go. He does a competent job and he looks like a lost Estevez brother. 

The main problem, however, is that the central character of Joe is not likable. The audience doesn't like him from the jump and that never changes. Despite all of his training and supposed transformation, he remains an unlikable jerk. There are also no other likable characters throughout the course of the film. So that made things tough going as far as the enjoyment factor is concerned, never mind trying to ferret out who to root for in all this. We would put in a vote for Ambassador Chavez (Carradine) but he's only on screen for maybe a minute or two. It's definitely a Carradine cameo. He gets slightly more screen time than Charles Napier in Center of the Web (1992). Carradine fans looking for a meaty role from the man will come away disappointed.

There are some beat-ups, some shooting, an abandoned warehouse/factory, and when the rollerblade girl appears in Joe's life, the time-honored sax duly appears on the soundtrack. The whole thing reminded us somewhat of The Contract (1999). Of course, for this movie some Cannon people are involved, such as Menachem Golan, and director Steve Carver, known to action fans for his Chuck movies An Eye For an Eye (1981) and Lone Wolf McQuade (1983), plus Dudikoff outing River of Death (1989). At least here in the U.S., the VHS was released on the Vidmark label.

Dead Center is a decent enough entry in the "let's take a bad person and train them so they become an assassin and then things go wrong" sub-sub-subgenre of action movies. However, nothing really stands out about it either, so we can't give it a wholehearted recommendation. But it's not too bad, so if you see it at Goodwill or someplace like that for 99 cents, you could do a lot worse.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Dune Warriors (1991)

 

Dune Warriors (1991)- * * 

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago 

Starring: David Carradine, Rick Hill, Luke Askew, Jillian McWhirter, Blake Boyd,  and Maria Isobel Lopez

In New California in 2040, water is the most precious commodity. The world is a destroyed, desert-like wasteland and most people are just scraping together to survive. When a roving gang of toughs led by the sinister William (Askew) and Tomas (Nicholson) invade the small village of Chin Le because they have a water supply, all hell breaks loose. Wanting to fight back against the new situation she and her fellow survivors have found themselves in, a young woman named Val (McWhirter) puts together a team of heroes. She finds Michael (Carradine), John (Hill), Dorian (Boyd), and Miranda (Lopez), all of whom have specialties when it comes to the fighting arts. Will our small band of plucky heroes be able to expel the baddies once and for all?

As Dokken once sang, “we’re the Dune Warriors, don’t wanna Dune no more.” We’re pretty sure those were the lyrics. If you've seen such films as Steel Dawn (1987), Raiders of the Sun (1992), Wheels of Fire (1985), Stryker (1983) or any Cirio Santiago or post-apocalyptic movie, you may know what to expect with Dune Warriors. It's really just more of the same. That's not necessarily a good thing or a bad thing. It just fits in with its other compatriots in the genre.

Because David Carradine is a man who travels around doing Martial Arts, there's a certain Kung Fu vibe, and because Rick Hill and his buddies are guys who do jousting tournaments on motorcycles, it may recall Knightriders (1981) to a certain degree, but those are the only elements that differentiate Dune Warriors from the pack at all. It's all very standard stuff, but the U.S. VHS is 77 minutes long, so that is very merciful and it doesn't take up much of your time. 

The whole thing opens with a bang, an action scene that appears to be William's raid on another small village. It's chock full of shooting, blow-ups, and the like. There's even a decapitation. It feels abrupt and like it should have been in the middle of the movie, but I guess that's part of the charm.

The character names are some of the most undistinguished we've seen in years. Oh boy, here comes Michael, John, and William. It's the future, people. Where's Paco Queruak when you need him? The music was done by a mysterious collective of musicians known as The Score Warriors. The end credits tune was some of their best work. We may never know who they are, but their name is more interesting than Michael or William.

We've seen the whole "teaching the farmers to fight so they can defend their village from roving marauders" plot many times before. Like we said, Dune Warriors doesn't add a whole heck of a lot to the genre, but it's not offensively bad or anything. There isn't much in the way of character development so it's kind of hard to get to know the people we're supposed to care about. Action mainstays like Carradine, McWhirter, and Hill get by on their natural talent and screen presence, but there's only so much they can do. For better Rick Hill, check out Fast Gun (1988). For better McWhirter, check out Last Man Standing (1996).

While it is sort of impressive that Cirio could make basically the same movie over and over again - Dune Warriors is especially close to the aforementioned Stryker; it's a veritable remake, including a similar scene involving what we called "Jawa-like Pygmies" in our Stryker review - it would've been nice to see him break the mold a bit this time around. By 1991 I think we as video store patrons kind of got the idea. But if you like these kinds of post-ap movies and you see it cheap somewhere, it couldn't hurt to pick it up. But don't go in with high expectations.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and DTVC!

Capital Punishment (1991)

Capital Punishment (1990)- * * *

Directed by: David Huey

Starring: Gary Daniels, Tadashi Yamashita, Ava Fabian, Ian Jacklin, Linda Lightfoot, Mel Novak, and David Carradine



"Keep The Change"- James Thayer

"Fifty....Fifty"- Blonde Goon






Trust me, you never want to do "Kick". Evidently, Kick is the most addictive drug in Asia. It was originally given to meat farmers (pretty sure that's a thing) to make sure their cows and chickens grow faster and, presumably, meatier. Now Asia is hooked, and one man is poised to bring this scourge to the U.S. of A. His name is Nakata (Yamashita), and he is also a Martial Arts master and he's evil. So the DEA enlists a professional kickboxer to take down the Kick dealers (as you do). James Thayer (Daniels) sports a sweet ponytail and high-waisted jeans, which makes it easier for him to kick people. Which comes in handy when you're battling Kick dealers. See, it all comes together.



With his wife Anna (Fabian) in danger, his kickboxing opponent Lozano (Jacklin) angry, and a potential crimefighting partner named Holt (Lightfoot) trying to catch up, Thayer has yet another problem. It turns out (and this isn't a spoiler; we know this pretty much from the jump) that Nakata is Thayer's sensei and he taught him everything he knows. Isn't that always the way? Will Thayer finally KICK the habit? Find out today!

David Carradine is on the phone. And he wants to talk to you. That's right, Carradine is in Capital Punishment also, as a man named Michael Maltin. Well, "in" is such a relative term. He really does let his fingers do the walking. I haven't seen this much phone shilling since 1-800-COLLECT. 

Anyway, when we first saw that Capital Punishment was directed by David Hue, we thought, "uh oh". After all, that's the guy behind Bloodfight 3 (AKA Karate Wars), which was pretty weak. Well, color us tickled pink, because 'Punishment was a total surprise. Yes, it's very low budget, of course, but it's hilariously funny and entertaining. It couldn't be more different from Karate Wars. It's a winner. Trust us. Ignore any hate you may have read towards this movie online. Anyone with a sense of humor will love it.

The plot is nonsensical, the dialogue is childish, the line deliveries are on par with a middle school play, the reaction shots are priceless, the grunting is plentiful, the incidental characters are colorful, and the fight scenes are gems. It's all very, very, VERY silly. You can't help but love it. There's something infectious about it. The time flies by while you're watching it and it's just so much fun.

The aforementioned fight scenes are almost non-stop. The great and mighty Gary Daniels is continually punching or kicking someone. It rarely lets up. Clearly a lot of time and attention went into these scenes, far more than any of the others. Some notable moments include when Daniels is fighting with two flashlights in a darkened room, and the whole scene in the ice factory. It was interesting to see a younger Gary Daniels kind of feeling his way through things. Obviously better things were to come for him, but this was a nice early role for one of our action idols. 

The whole thing starts in a sort of "Kickboxing Dinner Theatre" where Gary and some other dude - both of whom are wearing shorts that say "Kickboxing USA" on them - are battling it out in front of classy people who are sitting at dinner tables. Not long after that, we're informed that "nine out of ten" children in Asia have birth defects because their parents took Kick. Seems like a lot. Of course, there's a barfight, a warehouse fight, and a Final Rooftop Fight, but there's a fight pretty much everywhere. Further adding to the ridiculous fun, every time something blows up, it's from another movie. Then it ends and a great time was had by all.

We should also add that while the film's alternate title, Kickbox Terminator, is a cool one, it's not related at all to what we see in any way, shape or form. It's not like there's some sort of cybernetic guy in a ring with boxing gloves punching people. Of course, we would watch that if it's ever made.

In the end, we really loved Capital Punishment. You have to really have a heart of stone if you can't get any enjoyment out of it. Yes, visually it has that "junky" look to it but if you can get past that, a diamond in the rough will emerge. Oh, and next time your phone rings, just think...there's a really good chance it may be Michael Maltin.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, The Video Vacuum and DTVC!

Distant Justice (1992)

Distant Justice (1992)- * * *

Directed by: Toru Murakawa

Starring: Bunta Sugawara, Yoko Nogiwa, Eric Lutes, George Kennedy, Sakura Sugawara, John Fiore, and David Carradine

Inspector Rio Yuki (Sugawara) travels from Japan to Boston to not just take in the sights, but to visit with his old buddy Tom Bradfield (Kennedy), now a police chief. When Yuki’s wife Hiroko (Nogiwa) and his daughter Sakura (Sugawara – Bunta’s real-life daughter?) go off sightseeing while Tom and Rio reminisce about the old days, trouble finds them. 

As they are wont to do, they begin taking photos during their trip. Unfortunately, they inadvertently snap a drug deal going on in the background. It turns out these aren’t just your run-of-the-mill drug fiends – a line (no pun intended) of corruption leads all the way to aspiring senator Joe Foley (Carradine).

After bad things happen to his family members, Rio is raging for real revenge. Bradfield can’t officially help him, so Rio goes rogue. Fellow cop Charlie Givens (Lutes) is there to help, but Rio, in essence, goes it alone. Will main baddie Roy Pennola (Lovelett) stand in his way? Because Rio comes from Japan, will Boston-area baddies feel a new kind of justice? Perhaps…DISTANT JUSTICE?

While it seems to have been written off as a Death Wish knockoff, Distant Justice has its own charm and isn’t any more or less Death Wish-y than many other revenge movies that came in Bronson’s wake. We love revenge movies here at Comeuppance Reviews and like to see them in any form they come in. This one just happens to have a man with an extremely thick Japanese accent as the main protagonist. C’est la vie. 

Distant Justice seems to be Toei Corporation’s attempt to make inroads into the American video market of the day. It features a mixture of Japanese and American actors and technical crew, much like the later (and far worse) Double Deception (2001). We don’t know if Toei thought Bunta Sugawara, who was a big name back home, could somehow translate into being an American star, but – intentionally or not – everything he says is gold. His voice alone is extremely entertaining. 

He makes Gerald Okamura and Mako sound like Alistair Cooke. His accent is so heavy he even sounds like Schwarzenegger at times. Maybe Arnie was the model Toei was trying to emulate of a foreign star with limited English proficiency penetrating our American shores. But Sugawara’s effort, earnestness, and intensity are much appreciated and helped the movie a lot. 

Another commendable thing about Distant Justice is how it completely avoids the Collision Course-esque “he likes hot dogs and he likes sushi” clichés. That’s not to say there aren’t plenty of humorous moments throughout the film, however. For a revenge tale featuring shooting, blow-ups, beat-ups, and even rapes, overall the movie is pretty funny. Case in point we have Sergeant Largent (Fiore). Could he be related to Hardcase and Fist’s Warden Borden? We may never know.

Now, it’s not without its faults, mainly in the plotting and pacing departments. You have to wait over an hour to get to David Carradine, and even at that there’s minimal Carradine. But what Carradine you get is good Carradine. 

There isn’t a main, evil villain we as the audience keep checking in with throughout the film. We never visit with Roy as he shouts racial slurs about Rio and admonishes his underlings to make “no more mistakes!” – had there been a strong, central baddie the movie would have had more zest. And there’s an intro with some guys holding up a restaurant and then leaving the Yuki family stranded by the side of the road that really doesn’t need to be there. But fan favorite George Kennedy seems to be having fun, and the outing as a whole is just off-kilter enough to warrant at least one viewing.

Distant Justice is far from perfect, but it’s a pretty unique entry in the revenge film canon. Fans of the genre, George Kennedy, David Carradine, and Bunta Sugawara (if there are any out there in the English-speaking world) are encouraged to check it out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Open Fire (1989)

Open Fire (1989)- * * 

Directed by: Roger Mende

Starring: David Carradine, Kansas Carradine, Bruce Ly, Ashley F. Brooks, and Hugo Stiglitz

“Get out of my way.” – Joe Rourke

When Wyoming governor Joe Rourke (Carradine) visits the small South American country of Los Flores for some sort of goodwill diplomatic mission, he thinks everything will run smoothly and relations between America and this small, godforsaken country will be better than ever. 

To add icing to that particular cake, his wife Gabby (Brooks) is traveling separately by bus to Los Flores with a group of multi-ethnic singing tots called the World Peace Singers. The Rourkes’s plan to meet up and save the world seems assured. But then, of course, tragedy strikes: a band of paramilitary commandos shows up and starts shooting everyone in sight and blowing up every available food and/or fruit cart. They then kidnap the singing children (most of whom we never hear speak, much less sing). (Come to think of it, perhaps we dodged a bullet on that one, unlike Joe Rourke). Yes, you read that parenthetical sentence correctly, Joe Rourke gets shot and is bedridden for a while.

Luckily, an all-female group of fighters known as the Panther Squad steps in and begins fighting the rebel army. Their coach is Master Ly (Ly). That’s right, they have a coach. Mainly because their prior experience consists of standing in the town square and doing synchronized light calisthenics for the bored townspeople. But they look cool in their matching black jumpsuits. After holding off the fighters as long as they can, “Action Governor” Joe Rourke emerges from his recuperation and begins kicking and shooting the baddies. Will Rourke and the Panther Squad save the children and/or Joe’s wife? We know neither he, nor the baddies, are afraid to…OPEN FIRE!

Based on the above description, this movie sounds cool, right? Well, unfortunately, not so much. The elements are all there, but they’re not really capitalized on to their utmost. The problem is that not much actually happens in this movie. Yes, there is a ton of shooting and blow-ups, especially towards the end. The movie doesn’t skimp on the action. But there’s no real plot or emotion to glue it all together. It’s all pretty brainless, and for us to even say that, you can imagine it must be pretty darn brainless.

The main baddie is apparently named Pecos and he looks a lot like Miles O’Keeffe. He doesn’t say anything and he just strokes his pet falcon, which is supposed to be intimidating (?) – the guy who plays him wasn’t in any other movies. Carradine’s daughter Kansas does a nice job as one of the kidnapped children, and she wears a great shirt of the type kids would wear in 1989. She’s in danger of being upstaged by the little black kid who wears a full three-piece suit even though he looks to be about three years old and he’s in a sweltering South American country. He looks very confused. Fan favorite Bruce Ly makes a brief appearance, and during a lot of it he’s toting a machine gun. While interesting as a novelty, I think I speak on behalf of all the Ly fans out there when I say we’d rather see him doing Martial Arts. Just another misstep of this blip of a movie.

Because of its “in one eye and out the other” forgettableness, perhaps that’s why it never secured a VHS release in America. And that’s saying something, because 1989 was a high-water mark year for VHS here in the USA, a time when there were many video stores and they were all clamoring for content. Just why Open Fire wasn’t deemed good enough – despite its reasonable competence and presence of not one but two Carradines, Bruce Ly, and Hugo Stiglitz, and its exploitable subject matter (mainly the Panther Squad, although there’s no nudity) – remains an open question.

Lest we forget one of the main things that makes Open Fire watchable – the funny dubbing. Many characters “talk” without moving their mouths, or voices are heard from offscreen and you don’t know who is supposed to be talking, or the voices don’t match who we’ve heard speaking previously. 

There’s also a first for us (at least so far as we can remember) – REPEATED overdubbing. You’ve heard us talk about repeated footage. Now we’ve got repeated talking! Not once, but twice (at least), David Carradine “says” the line “Get out of my way”. Then he proceeds to kick or shoot a baddie. He doesn’t do a ton of punching. He was probably maintaining character because he got shot. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Anyway, it’s the SAME line reading. They just replayed it. Well, why mess with perfection?

In the end, Open Fire (not to be confused with the Jeff Wincott film of the same name of a few years later) is your standard jungle blow-em-up with a handful of unintentionally funny moments. But it’s hard to sustain interest over a 90-minute running time.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Fatal Secret (1990)

Fatal Secret (1990)- * * *

Directed by: Mats Helge and Anders Nilsson

Starring: David Carradine, Camilla Lunden, Frederick Offrein, and A.R. Hellquist

As is usually the case, everyone is after “the disk”. Yes, yet another floppy disk containing top secret information is highly sought-after. The CIA, The KGB, and a nefarious drug dealer named Michael LeWinter (Carradine) all want the disk. Thankfully, a special agent of some sort named Kim Brown (Lunden) is on the case. Teaming up with John Mitchell (presumably not the British prog rock guitarist) (Hellquist), the two of them single-handedly embark on a mission to get the disk to the right people…but who are they? And can they be trusted? In the meantime, many battles ensue. Who will uncover the FATAL SECRET?

If you were to stop some random Americans on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word “Sweden”, you might get answers such as Abba, Ikea, a certain Chef from the Muppets, or perhaps you may get some mutterings about meatballs. The more informed among them may mention some sort of bikini team or something about death metal. What you won’t hear them say, sadly, is anything about the great Mats Helge or his contributions to Swedish cinema. To be fair, some of his works were exported to the U.S. and some weren’t, but the wider public at large should know that Swedish filmmaking doesn’t start and end with Ingmar Bergman. 

We’re constantly championing Helge’s work, and we’re not about to stop now. In Fatal Secret, the Helge stock company that appeared in his prior films all come back to shoot at each other one more time. There is a lot of gun-shooting in this particular outing, but the best scene involves a fight between Helge regular and Kurt Russell lookalike Hellquist and a really unfortunate dude in an attic with a bare lightbulb. You’ll know it when you see it.


David Carradine comes back as well, and while his triumph for Helge was Animal Protector, here he puts his usual screen presence into his relatively small role as the smooth yet shady LeWinter. Of course, the Kenny Rogers Guy – Frederick Offrein – is back too, because it couldn’t be a Helge movie without him. Interestingly, the actors weren’t the only collaborators that came back to work with him. Anders Nilsson, who worked behind the scenes for Helge in many different capacities over the years, was seemingly promoted and is credited as co-director here.

Once again, the film was done under the aegis of the SWEDISH ACTION FILM FORCE, which is the first credit we see on screen. Shortly thereafter, we see characters in a room with an American flag in the background looking at a briefcase filled with American dollars. Just how this squares with the Swedish Action Film Force is all part of the puzzling fun, as are the myriad accents just about everyone on screen speaks with (does Carradine have an American accent?)

But the important thing to know is that there’s a character named Angelo who looks like a malevolent Yakov Smirnoff. And, as in prior Helge outings, there’s a “greatest hits” during the end credits, so you can see all your favorite parts again. Not Jackie Chan-style outtakes, but sitcom-style replays of what you previously saw. He probably figured to get the most bang out of his buck that way. We’re certainly not complaining. Plus, the pumping 80’s music by Dough (Yes, Dough) Anderzon plays over it all, so if you’re really pressed for time, you can just skip to the end credits. 

While we wouldn’t say to run right to this movie if you’ve never seen any of Mats Helge’s other works before, if you’ve seen and loved The Ninja Mission (1984), Russian Terminator (1989), or Animal Protector (1989), and want more, here is another great example of Mats doing what he does best. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Animal Protector (1989)

Animal Protector (1989)- * * *1\2

Directed by: Mats Helge

Starring: David Carradine, A.R. Hellquist, Frederick Offrein, Camilla Lunden, Mats Hudden, and Timothy Earle

Somewhere off the coast of Sweden is a secret American military base run by the sinister Col. Whitlock (Carradine). Using underlings such as Carter (Offrein) and Johnson (Earle), among others, Whitlock uses his iron-fist tactics to ensure the base continues its dark experiments. Sadly, they are doing testing on all sorts of animals to create biological weapons. When a trio of female animal rights activists called the ANIMAL PROTECTORs, led by Carrie (Lunden), but including Helen (Ostrom) and Tina (Anderson), sneak their way onto the base in order to free the helpless animals – as do a meatheaded CIA agent named John Santino (Hellquist) and another good guy named Lomax (Hudden) – all hell is going to break loose on the island.

Animal Protector is further proof that the work of Mats Helge comprised Sweden’s greatest cinematic exports of the 1980’s. We’re constantly championing him because he continues to deliver the goods for film after film. Frankly, we like his style. Even the choice of title is unorthodox: of all things, Animal Protector, in the singular, even when there’s a group of so-called “Animal Protectors”, among a myriad of other characters. Why? Perhaps it’s to pique our interest. And it totally worked, just like everything else in this remarkable film. 

This time around, none other than David Carradine joins the fray, and a team up between him and Offrein (who we’ve called “Kenny Rogers” in the past because he looks exactly like Kenny Rogers) is as magical as you’d think it might be. When not bewildered by a blur of different accents during the dialogue scenes, Animal Protector provides near non-stop shooting, blow- ups, or some type of action. The dance club fight/shootout was a particular highlight, but there are many. What puts that one a cut above the rest are Lomax’s hypnotic pants. Which sounds like a movie title in its own right.


One of the action scenes late in the movie is re-used in a solarized, stylized fashion for the opening credits sequence, ensuring something is blowing up or being shot at all times. There’s even a bit of Punchfighting in the beginning to get us all hooked in to the proceedings. Yes, it does have an overall feeling of being totally ridiculous, but it also has a ton of heart. While obviously shot with the international market in mind, it also retains a special “Made in Sweden” feeling, with a lot of handcrafted charm. That in combination with the non-stop action produces a gem.

Nowhere is that better exemplified than in the character of Santino, portrayed by Swedish National Treasure A.R. Hellquist. As if all the wild n’ wacky goings-on weren’t enough, along comes an oiled-up meathead to just put things over the top. Just like in Helge’s Russian Terminator (1989) (hey, if a formula works, it works). Some say he slightly resembles Kurt Russell. He takes his shirt off and keeps it off for no reason that we can discern. Even in the cold Swedish night when you can see everyone’s breath, Hellquist’s shirt is nowhere to be seen. Fantastic.

Featuring music by Dough Anderzon (surely his name is Doug Anderson and this is a typo…come on, Dough? But it’s all part of the fun) and featuring an incredibly catchy tune by Dag Unenge and Peter Ahs called Face To Face, Animal Protector is a solid winner all around from the inimitable Helge.

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, Explosive Action!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Mad Bunch (1989)

The Mad Bunch (1989)- * * *

Directed by: Mats Helge

Starring: David Carradine, A.R. Hellquist, Frederick Offrein, Helen Arnesen, Jonas Carlzen, Tommy Ellgren, Harley Melin, Mats Hudden, and Timothy Earle

Professor Foxwood (Carradine) is a man who wears glasses and is a “peace researcher”, whatever that is. This Professional Peacenik gets a dose of the violent world around him when he is kidnapped by some baddies. His wife Melinda (Arnesen) isn’t sure of the best way to rescue her beloved husband, but with both the CIA and KGB involved, things get complicated fast. So she settles on the natural way to solve this problem – she hires THE MAD BUNCH to retrieve him. Who are The Mad Bunch, you ask? They appear to be a non-professional bunch of “heroes for hire” who, instead of playing cards or going bowling together, form an unofficial group of mercenaries. They’re going to have their hands full with this mission, as nothing is what it appears to be, especially with the mysterious Jason Cartland (Offrein) involved. Will they bring Foxwood back alive? Or will something get in their way? Find out today…

Not to be confused with The Wild Pair (1987) or The Bad Pack (1997), The Mad Bunch is another peek into the wacky world of our favorite Swedish writer/director Mats Helge. It all kicks off with a killer opening, as the words SWEDISH ACTION FILM FORCE appear on the screen as our Mad Bunch load their guns and do other things to show they are ready for (Swedish) action! One of the Bunch has a jacket that says Attention This Isn’t The Exercise written from the shoulder to the elbow of said jacket. What can you say, on top of being mad, they’ve got style as well. 

Mats (Carlzen), Moose (Ellgren), Tom (Melin), Billy (Hudden), and, of course, Eddie (Hellquist) are THE MAD BUNCH. It was a pleasure to see A.R. Hellquist again, as we are fans of his Kurt Russell-esque performance in Helge’s Animal Protector (1989). Frederick Offrein, who seems to be in every Helge movie, is here as well. We never fail to mention that he looks exactly like Kenny Rogers. That’s probably because every time we see him, no matter what movie or what role, he looks exactly like Kenny Rogers. He’s a smoother, classier Kenny this time around, which shows his range. To see him is to love him.

As for David Carradine, he’s not really in it that much. Our guess is that he went to Sweden to film Animal Protector in ’89 and stayed on for this glorified cameo because he was already there. It was the golden year of 1989, so why not get the most out of Carradine? In the audio department, we have to say that this movie is really a treat for the ears. Not only do we get catchy tunes by Helge mainstay Dough Anderzon – including some classic 80’s sax – but we also get a mélange of accents by pretty much all the characters. In addition, the sound effects are great. Whoever did them – everything from jumping on the sand of a beach to a neck snap – they were clearly done with gusto. Kudos to whoever masterminded these sounds.

A movie highlight comes when The Mad Bunch are training on a beach, and a young boy who looks to be about eleven years old comes to join the fray. It’s scenes like this that set the movie apart from its competitors (along with every other stylistic choice by Helge). That’s why it’s especially surprising that this movie, along with most of the rest of Helge’s output, never received a VHS release in America back in the video store days. It’s a real shame, as I believe U.S. cult film fans would have eaten it up. Well, at least we can all enjoy his work today, and that’s what really matters. 

While it might not exactly scale the majestic heights of The Ninja Mission (1984) or Russian Terminator (1989), The Mad Bunch is pure Helge and is well worth seeking out.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Kill Zone (1993)

Kill Zone (1993)- *1\2

Directed by: Cirio H. Santiago

Starring: David Carradine












In the thick of the Vietnam war, Col. Horace Wiggins (Carradine) is bent on the total annihilation of the enemy. He gets into disagreements with other military personnel about how to proceed executing the war. Wiggins is a hard man to deal with. When Wiggins disagrees with the soldiers on the ground, he goes into the firefight himself. Not only are there conflicts between the good guys and the enemy, but also the military brass and the soldiers. With all this conflict going on, will anyone ever escape the KILL ZONE?

Another day, another exploding hut. Amazingly, this is yet another jungle slog that brings nothing new to the table. It all feels very familiar, because the footage we’re watching actually IS familiar, as it’s edited from other Cirio jungle classics. Actually it’s a bit unfair to say there’s nothing new. The name “Horace Wiggins” is pretty awesome. And Carradine brings a new level of incomprehensibility to the role because he says most of his lines while trying to keep a cigar in his mouth. It’s hilarious to watch him try to multi-task like that. Despite his inspired name, his unintelligible mush-mouthiness detracts from what could have been a razor-sharp performance.

We kid the Carradine-ster, but this movie would be unthinkable without him. Take him out of the equation, and you would have, as I believe the saying goes, “bupkus”. He actually really comes alive towards the climax of the movie. He sports a (not the most flattering) tanktop, dons a doo-rag with a skull and crossbones on it (because now he means business, you see) and starts growling like an animal. It’s this type of energy that should have been going on the whole time in this movie. It seems they saved it all for the very end. Shame, really, as that would have lifted this particular guard-tower-fall/hut/jungle movie above the rest.

But the Corman/Cirio jungle slogs are the blandest. The best ones are the Italian ones. Yes, we’ve seen so many of them, we can actually define the subtle shades of the multifaceted jungle slog movie. It’s like a fine wine or cheese. The Corman/Cirio outings are all consistent but mediocre. The Italian ones are more vibrant and have more ideas. The problem here is, as an audience, you don’t CARE like you should. There’s absolute zero on the character development front. If we maybe knew who these people were or there was an iota of backstory, we might care, but no. Apparently that crucial element that would turn the tide in their favor was too much to ask from these filmmakers.

If you want a nice sense of  "jungle slog deja vu", check out Kill Zone (not to be confused with Kill Zone (2005) or the other Killzone (1985).

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a review by our buddy, DTVC!

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)- * * * 

Directed by: Steve Carver

Starring: Chuck Norris, David Carradine, R.G. Armstrong, Aaron Norris, Leon Issac Kennedy, Robert Beltran, L.Q. Jones, and Barbara Carrera










Texas Ranger J.J. McQuade (Chuck) is notorious around his precinct, and his El Paso stomping grounds, for being a loner, a rebel, and a man with the dignity of a quiet badass. Despite the typical protestations from his Captain, Tyler (Armstrong), McQuade, nicknamed “Lone Wolf” for obvious reasons, always gets the job done. And when there’s trouble in Texas, he’s the man everyone calls to sort it out. His buddy Dakota (Jones) certainly knows that, as do his ex-wife and daughter. 

But shortly after he reluctantly accepts a young new partner, Kayo (Beltran), Lone Wolf faces his biggest challenge to date in the form of one Rawley Wilkes (Carradine), a malevolent Martial Arts master who also just happens to be a gun runner. There’s also a love triangle kind of thing involving a woman named Lola (Carrera) between the two alpha males. After Wilkes sends his goons after Lone Wolf’s people, the stage is set for the ultimate showdown: McQuade vs. Wilkes! Also Leon Isaac Kennedy plays an FBI agent named Jackson and William Sanderson plays a underworld character named Snow. Who will triumph in this big, Texas-sized battle? Find out today!

It’s easy to see, in retrospect, how the TV show Walker: Texas Ranger got started. The pitch to Chuck was probably “let’s turn Lone Wolf McQuade into a weekly show”. But the awesome title LONE WOLF MCQUADE (why aren’t there cool movie titles like that these days?) should be enough to signal to viewers what they’re getting into. 

Chuck displays his usual deadpan likability, and there’s something about the guy you just can’t help but love. If previous year’s movie Silent Rage (1982) is anything to go by, he was slowly becoming less wooden and was honing his acting skills, as well as his Martial Arts ability. As the laconic ex-Military man who only drinks Pearl brand beer (and has many other uses for it as well, including as balm for his wounds) - when he’s not drinking Coke, of course, you truly root for him. It was naive and typical for Lola to think she could change Lone Wolf. Change him? Don’t even try!

The movie is filled with fun stunts and fights (thanks in part to John Barrett and Kane Hodder who, among others, did stunts) and has a nice modern-day Western feel to it. A lot of that is helped by the excellent score by Francesco De Masi. There’s also some pleasant humor at just the right times. David Carradine is suitably evil as the Karate man who smokes, Armstrong is the WYC (White Yelling Chief), William Sanderson almost steals the movie as Snow, and Leon Isaac Kennedy and L.Q. Jones provide quality support. 

Director Steve Carver is known, at least to us, for later directing the movie that unleashed the word “Butthorn” on the world, Bulletproof (1988), as well as the lackluster Dudikoff vehicle River of Death (1989). H. Kaye Dyal got a writing credit here, and he would later go on to direct the Frank Zagarino opuses Trained to Kill (1989) and the great Project Eliminator (1991). And Aaron Norris plays “Punk”. So there’s plenty of talent to go around, much of which would continue to infiltrate the DTV and/or action movie world for years to come. Lone Wolf McQuade is an ideal starting point.

Lone Wolf McQuade is an enjoyable movie with a lot of nice moments. It’s competently directed and has a lot of great names in the cast. It’s hard to ask for more than that. We liked it.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out write ups by: Ed's Pop Culture Shack and  The Video Vacuum!

P.O.W.: The Escape (1986)

P.O.W.: The Escape (1986)-* * *

Directed by: Gideon Amir

Starring: David Carradine, Steve James, and Mako













In Vietnam, 1973, the military top brass is told to free all the P.O.W.’s. In order to do this effectively, they call in Col. James Cooper (Carradine), who, naturally, is “The Best”. Of course, he also has a bad attitude and is getting on in years. Once he finds the prisoners, one of which is Johnston (James), all the men lead a daring escape through the jungles of ‘Nam. Along the way they’ll have to fight tons of NVA soldiers, evil camp commander Capt. Vinh (Mako), among other pitfalls, while fighting to stay alive and recapture some gold bars. Can they do it?

By this time, Cannon had already made Missing In Action (1984), so they probably figured, “‘why not try ‘P.O.W.’”? Instead of Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, their main staples, they opted for David Carradine. He’s not quite as belligerent and surly as he is in Future Force (1989) and Future Zone (1990), but roles like this, where he’s put in the driver’s seat as an action hero with terse dialogue, certainly paved the way for those. His dialogue pretty much consists of soundbites such as “I’m goin’ back for ‘em” and “Everybody goes home”. This might be less noticeable if he had some non-bumper-sticker-like dialogue anywhere else in the movie, but he doesn’t. As far as his attitude (i.e angry), it seems Cannon will just give you a more assertive demeanor at times. For example, for Chain Of Command (1994), they probably just said to Dudikoff, “be angry”. We’re guessing they did the same here for Carradine.

POW: The Escape is your basic exploding hut/helicopter/guard tower movie where people are constantly firing machine guns under the green foliage. But you gotta admit, those huts had it coming. There’s the Prerequisite Torture as well. Not of the huts, of the humans. Thus, the movie is quite repetitive, as there isn’t enough material here to properly fill a 90 minute feature. Not that any of this is bad, it just feels very, very familiar.

As far as the rest of the cast, there are some familiar faces: we are fans of Mako and he does a decent job as the commander who might secretly have an affinity for America. Steve James remains one of the most underrated actors of the 80’s and beyond and his presence livens things up considerably. In the background doing small roles like “G.I. #4” and “Soldier at Fuel Depot” are Willie Williams, Henry Strzalkowski, and Cris Aguilar. Among the smaller players is fan favorite John Barrett, who is also credited as a stunt coordinator. If you watch any of these Philippines-set actioners, these names will ring a bell. 

But none of them can possibly top Carradine, when, in a moment of inspiration, he takes an American flag in danger of burning down - this is during a firefight, no less - takes it off the pole, puts it over his shoulders, and continues killing badguys with his machine gun! He’s literally draped in the flag as he fights those stupid, stupid commies. God bless the 80’s.

Released by Media on VHS (and laser videodisc!), POW: The Escape is standard jungle action, with maybe a few blips of interest within that framework.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up by our buddy, DTVC!

Down N' Dirty (2001)

Down N' Dirty (2001)-* * *

Directed by: Fred Williamson

Starring: Fred Williamson, Gary Busey, Tony Lo Bianco, David Carradine, Bubba Smith, Sam Jones, Andrew Divoff, Randy J. Goodwin, and Charles Napier








Dak is back! That would be Dakota “Dak” Smith (Williamson) to be precise. First seen in Night Vision (1997), Down ‘n Dirty is his second appearance, followed by On The Edge (2002). He also portrayed Dak in The Rage Within (2001) the same year as D’ND, 2001. This time around, the Dakster is in a whole heap o’trouble after his partner of many years is suddenly shot. As he tries in his inimitable style (ranging between cynical Cop On The Edge to smooth ladies man) to get answers, he runs up against resistance and even outright hostility in his own department - everyone ranging from his Captain, Teller (Napier), to Det. Ward (Lo Bianco). It turns out there’s corruption and conspiracy involved from D.A. Casey (Busey), who is in contact with the mysterious Gil Garner (Carradine) - who commands an army of goons such as Jimmy (Divoff). Naturally, they all want Dak’s head, because he’s trying to get to the truth. Does even his friend Det. Cale (Smith) believe him? Dak is going to have to team up with photographer Nick Gleem (Goodwin) to ultimately find out. Can he do it?

Somehow Fred is able to corral all these great stars to be in his movies. Sure, as we noted in our review for On the Edge, the dialogue is muffled at times, and the music drowns it out - because apparently for us, the audience, hearing electronic drums bashing away is more important than hearing valuable plot points - but thankfully the great Fred Williamson carries the 70’s/80’s-style cop drama/thriller into the 21st century, with no apologies. To the jaded and cynically minded, you could say it’s filled with all the cliches we’ve all seen thousands of times before, but those people are overlooking one crucial detail: the charm of Fred Williamson. Fred’s charisma absolutely carries this movie, as well as many of his others, and even the filler (which there’s plenty of, and as a result this movie could have been shorter) is enjoyable. The cliches are fun cliches, and the filler is fun filler, and we should be happy this movie was made in the first place.

Let’s not overlook that this is Bubba Smith at his absolute best. His line deliveries are priceless. He’s a giant man who wears a short tie that only reaches to about his sternum, and his hair is just...inexplicable. It looks like as if the top of his head - which doesn’t match the sides, mind you - is a cross between Frankenstein, Alfred E. Neuman and a black lacquer floor. Moving on, fan favorite Sam Jones makes a very brief (one scene) appearance, and looks highly uncomfortable. He also has an unexplained bearded biker dude as his sidekick. So many questions, so few answers. There’s minimal Jones, minimal Divoff and minimal Carradine. Carradine does a “sit-down” role and both he and Busey don’t appear until 51 minutes in.

Nick Gleem, as the sidekick, and who adds “like the toothpaste!” every time he introduces himself, ends up being called simply “Toothpaste” as his nickname. Not to be confused with “Speedboat” from Snake Eater II (1989). In the “awesome urban compound word nickname” awards, Toothpaste has the wackier hat, so we’ll give him the prize. And, unrelated to Mr. Toothpaste, as in Direct Contact (2009) when someone says “What if he goes AOL?” here, in Down N’ Dirty, someone says “Get it to me SAP”. Either this guy is REALLY in a hurry, so much so he has no time for the initial “A”, or maybe he wants to use his TV remote to watch his favorite shows in Spanish, but like a lot of things in this movie, it remains unexplained.

Besides Fred’s screen presence and a cast of familiar faces, the other thing that keeps this movie afloat is the music. By Johnny Ross (some songs are credited to J.R. and Li’l Big - we assume J.R. is Johnny Ross), the standouts are the main title theme and “Come Back Dak”. It sounds like it could be the same singers who sang “Dakota Smith - You‘re 12 Steps Away”, from Night Vision, but we’re not sure. We love the idea that Fred Williamson has his own personal singers who are on call for him at any time. Hopefully that is the case. Supposedly, the legendary Volt label released the soundtrack, and the main title features the line “If you’re on the take, you made a big mistake”, so it might be well worth finding. You don’t hear lyrics like that every day. More top 40 hits should be about systemic inter-office police corruption.

There is plenty to enjoy here for Fred fans such as ourselves...and for non-Fred fans: what’s wrong with you? Become a Fred fan.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

The Rage (1997)

 The Rage (1997)-* * *

Directed by: Sidney J. Furie

Starring: Lorenzo Lamas, Gary Busey, Roy Scheider,  Kristen Cloke, and David Carradine







Nick Travis (Lamas) is an FBI “Mind Hunter” on the trail of a serial killer named Dacy (Busey) (the changing of a “G” to a “D” in the name was pretty inspired). Naturally, Travis’ ways are unorthodox, so the bureau teams him up with a new recruit, the pretty Kelly McCord (Cloke), a gung-ho agent who wants Dacy and his gang as much as anyone. Second-guessing them every step of the way is Taggart (Scheider), an FBI higher-up. But Travis has just too much integrity to bend to his ways. While the deranged Dacy is putting his team of psychopathic yokels into high gear, Travis and McCord must race against time to prevent any new victims before becoming victims themselves. Not just of the killers, but of federal bureaucracy and corruption. Will their relationship survive against all odds?

In terms of technical qualities, this DTV effort stands above some of its contemporaries. It has a fairly glossy, high-quality look and feel that is just a hair away from being theater-ready. The cinematography is quite good, and the picturesque locales in Utah help that along nicely. The score is also big and booming.
Lamas puts in a personable performance as the FBI Agent On The Edge (not to be confused with his roles as a CIA Agent On The Edge in the CIA films). He has as many cool one-liners as he does snappy ties in his wardrobe. Cloke, as his partner, puts in a good amount of effort and you’ve got to love those bedroom eyes.  Roy Scheider could presumably do better (as he clearly demonstrated by being in Executive Target, 1997) in his career, but at least you get to see a fight scene between him and Lorenzo Lamas. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed Roy Scheider-Fu.

As far as Gary Busey...if he’s trying to live down his reputation as a raving psycho, movies such as The Rage aren’t helping him too much. We think the filmmakers renamed the film from Word of Honor to The Rage in honor of Busey and his performance. There are plenty of classic Buseyisms on display as he rants and raves with wild abandon.

Also David Carradine is literally wasted in a nothing role that’s almost as senseless as Klaus Kinski’s in The Soldier (1982).

Director Furie has had a long and accomplished career, so that probably accounts for why this film is well-made. There are some good stunts and chases, despite the fact that the plot is pretty by-the-numbers. But it paved the way for TV shows like Criminal Minds, which are just hour-long plots very, very similar to The Rage. Too bad Lamas, in the TV world, is known for Renegade - he should have been a Criminal Minds cast member. But Wings Hauser was on an episode recently. But we digress...

The Rage might be a good movie to see if you want to break someone into the world of DTV movies. Its “not quite ready for the movie theater” feel should help gradually wean a newbie in.

Also check a review by our buddy, DTVC!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty