Battle Creek Brawl (1980)

Battle Creek Brawl (1980)- * * *

Directed by: Robert Clouse

Starring: Jackie Chan, Michel Quissi, Mako, H.B. Haggerty, Kristine DeBell, and Jose Ferrer 












 Set in the 1930’s, Battle Creek Brawl is the tale of one Jerry Kwan (Jackie), a young man who loves Martial Arts. When the classic gangsters of the day threaten his father’s restaurant, Jerry fights back, finally using his much-practiced skills. Head mobster Dominici (Ferrer) sees his abilities as a fighter and, using strongarm tactics like kidnapping and threats, forces him into participating in the “Battle Creek Brawl”, an event in Texas where the top fighters of the day go at each other in a big free-for-all. While he does have allies like Herbert (Mako) and his girlfriend Nancy (DeBell) on his side, it’s going to take all of Jerry’s tenacity to beat strongmen like Billy Kiss (Haggerty) who is known for his infamous “kiss of death”! Can Jerry do it? Find out today...

Battle Creek Brawl is an interesting spin on the Punchfighting genre. Not only is it set in the 30’s, with all the period garb and cars that would entail, but we also liked the idea of a town-wide Punchfighting event. The aptly-named Battle Creek, as a whole, comes together in the streets to watch the grown men pound on each other. So rather than take place in a dank cellar, it’s out in the open with the whole town watching. We thought that was a nice difference. The “forced to fight” plot we’ve seen many times before, most recently in...well...Forced To Fight (2011), but this came out an amazing 31 years before that, and of course features a young Jackie Chan in the lead, who you can’t help but love.

We’ve always been fans of Jackie, and while this is such an early American movie for him, his English would improve in later years, his humorous/acrobatic/highly enjoyable fighting style is on full display. Because the plot of the gangsters taking over the restaurant is so similar to fellow Golden Harvest production The Return of the Dragon (1972), it could honestly be said that Jackie was taking over the mantle of top Martial Arts star worldwide from Bruce Lee. Jackie’s rigorous training sequences are here as well, something he brought over from Asia. 

Jackie is backed up with some great co-stars: the ever-present fan-favorite Mako is on board, as is the cute Christine DeBell as Jackie’s girlfriend, and a young Larry Drake as well. And of course Jose Ferrer as the main baddie. But who could forget H.B. Haggerty as Billy Kiss? He has a black cape that says “KISS” in huge letters, and his finishing move is to make out with his burly male opponent. How much of that Gene Simmons borrowed from, we’ll never know. But the period setting and the way he looks must have influenced Van Damme for The Quest (1996). JCVD’s final villain looks very similar, and is even played by Michael Qissi! Coincidence?

Another difference between this and the much-later Forced To Fight is that this has clearly identifiable fighters with their own personalities and quirks. The FTF baddies are generic thugs. See that review for a further discussion on how Punchfighting opponents have gotten more generic over the years. 

The Lalo Schifrin music is typically excellent and raises the bar for the movie as a whole. Other highlights include the roller skating scene, and the fact that the crowd chants “Jer-ry! Jer-ry!” many years before Springer. Maybe they’ve been chanting for Jerry Kwan all along. 

In racism news, perhaps no other movie we’ve seen has had characters that say the word “chink” quite as many times, and by as many different characters, as Battle Creek Brawl. Maybe that was the only epithet they had back in the 30’s. It was during the depression and all. But the movie as a whole is lighthearted fun and it’s all done very well and professionally.

Finally after years of awful-quality VHS tapes, a widescreen DVD was released in 2004 by Fox. Pick this up, and get your Jerry Kwan on today.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Terminator Woman (1993)

Terminator Woman (1993)- * * *

Directed by: Michel Quissi

Starring: Karen Sheperd, Jerry Trimble, Michel Quissi, Ashley Hayden, and Ted Le Pat













Sgt. Jay Handlin (Trimble) and Sgt. Julie Parish (Sheperd) are cops with an ongoing rivalry about who is the better Martial Artist - but could there be some sparks flying in the romantic department as well? In the midst of trying to figure these things out, the pair travel to Africa of all places to try and bring down crime lord Alex Gatelee (Qissi). 

Consequently, they get into a ton of fights and face some other trials and tribulations - Julie is kidnapped, Jay has to reject the advances of Gatelee associate Myra Bolo (Hayden), and so forth. After enlisting the help of some locals, their Martial Arts abilities are truly put to the test when they face the ultimate showdown - Gatelee himself, of course. Will Jay be Handlin business? Find out today...?

Terminator Woman, not to be confused with Lady Terminator (1989), is professionally-shot and competently made - could it be a coincidence that this was not one of Trimble’s Roger Corman-produced actioners? That being said, the pacing is off and things get a bit dull at times. If about 10 minutes were lopped off, this whole outing might have a bit more verve to it. 

But the leads are all top-notch: You’ve got fan-favorite Trimble, who, in the most complimentary sense, resembles a more meatheady Emilio Estevez, and his trademark raspy voice is instantly recognizable. Then you’ve got fellow fan-favorite Sheperd, an enjoyable screen presence whose Martial Arts skill is excellent and wonderfully captured here. Finally, there’s Qissi, who also directed the movie, who very convincingly plays the baddie. So those are the movie’s strengths and weaknesses for you, and they fight it out - like everyone else on screen - throughout the running time.

Generally speaking, we don’t really care for ‘Africa Slogs’, as we call them, but this one is tolerable, thanks mainly to the aforementioned leads. The Trimble/Sheperd team up was an inspired choice, and it might remind you of similar pairings, such as Richard Norton and Cynthia Rothrock in the Rage and Honor diptych, or Steven Vincent Leigh and Sophia Crawford in Sword of Honor (1996). If nothing else, the movie as a whole plays to the strengths of the leads, and there are plenty of fights - as well as some good-natured stupidity - to prove that.

The whole thing is very 90’s - just witness the scenes at the Backlash club for proof. Maybe it’s an Africa thing, or maybe it’s an action movie thing, but it’s hard to imagine a dance club in the U.S. being named “Backlash”. It’s a bit too angry for us. 

Judging by the large “TW” logo on the U.S. VHS box art, perhaps the filmmakers were attempting a bit of branding: this is the one and only TW, and in their ideal world, people would ask each other around the water cooler, “have you seen the latest TW movie? I did, and it was awesome.” Latest, because surely more TW’s were planned. As it stands, presumably Sheperd is the TW, but the movie isn’t solely about her and her quest. Trimble is an equal part, and they didn’t call the movie “Terminator Man” - though, to be fair, Steve Railsback is the true Termination Man. Schwarzenegger ranks somewhere in there too, I’m sure.

In the midst of all the action, Trimble finds time to do a spontaneous shirtless Martial Arts workout/display alone in his hotel room whilst wearing tight jeans. The only outfit a 90’s action star needs.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

Kickboxer 2: The Road Back (1991)

Kickboxer 2: The Road Back (1991)- * *1\2

Directed by: Albert Pyun

Starring: Sasha Mitchell, Cary-Hiroyuki Takawa, Vince Murdocco, Michel Quissi, Dennis Chan, Heather McComb, Peter Boyle, Brian Austin Green, and Matthias Hues


***900th Review***


"Better than Kickboxer"-L.A. Times







David Sloan (Mitchell) runs a humble gym in L.A. where he teaches street kids the philosophies behind fighting. When hot shot fight promoter Maciah (Boyle) and his associate Sanga (Tagawa) offer to give Sloan some major fights and basically rocket him to fame, Sloan declines, because money and notoriety mean nothing to him, he has far too much integrity. 

Disappointed, they take on Sloan’s friend and fellow fighter Brian (Murdocco) as a client. Unfortunately, Brian must fight the evil Tong Po (Qissi) - the man that killed David’s brothers. So the fact that Kurt Sloane (Van Damme in the previous movie - who spells his name with an “E”, which is either an indication of Estevez-Sheen-style family dysfunction, or a simple oversight) is now dead and there’s a brother that was never previously mentioned, and it’s something us as viewers are supposed to simply ignore. 

Seeing as how Tong Po has some sort of strange, unexplained obsession with killing the entire Sloan (e) family, Xian (Chan) trains David, and then the climactic moment finally comes when this new Sloan brother takes on the vicious Po in the ring. What will happen?

While it’s a good thing that Sasha Mitchell took over from Van Damme - if the Kickboxer series was to continue without him, anyway - because Mitchell is likable and has good screen presence, the other side of the coin is that Albert Pyun directed Kickboxers 2 and 4. Pyun’s movies tend to have many scenes that drag, and this movie as a whole is too dark and logical. There are no wacky, bizarre edges. 

Thankfully, the non-Pyun-directed part 3 in the series was a much-needed shot in the arm and is a lot of fun. Sadly though, Pyun returned for part 4, as if to say “you kids were having too much fun in part 3”. Old Albert does have an over-reliance on slo-mo, but Pyun does include a montage with a great song, “A Man Alone” by Savoy Brown and a training sequence, separate and apart from each other. So it’s not a total loss.

Of course, none other than Peter Boyle himself is on board as Maciah, a man who wants to turn men beating each other into a worldwide commodity. In that way, this movie predates UFC. To see Boyle standing side by side with fan favorite Matthias Hues (inexplicably playing a guy named “Neil Vargas”) was a rare treat. Vargas’ brand of spandex-based fighting was certainly of its time, and perhaps an effective intimidation tactic. I know if I saw a long-haired musclebound brute with aqua tights on, I’d run the other way. But part of Xian’s training ritual for David Sloan is to have him wear a similarly-colored half-shirt while working out in the park, so maybe he’s fighting fire with fire. Or aqua with aqua.

Even before Sloan meets Xian, he seems to have a cultured philosophical mind, but Mitchell’s Keanu Reeves-like California Dude voice makes him seem like he’s going to end every thought-provoking maxim with “...Dude”. But Chan plays the Mr. Miyagi-like role endearingly enough, a mirror image of the suave but corrupt Sanga, played by regular face on the site, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa. So we’ve got Sasha Mitchell, Peter Boyle, Matthias Hues, Dennis Chan, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Vince Murdocco...what could be missing? Of course, Brian Austin Green! He plays a classic 90’s punk kid with a King Diamond shirt who, much like Thomas did to Jesus, doesn’t believe in the awesomeness of David Sloan. 

This must be what Megan Fox finds so endearing about him. Last but not least is Michel Qissi as the strange-faced Tong Po. Who now is just an out-and-out murderer who has the outward appearance of a kickboxer. He’s a serial killer who just uses kickboxing as his method of death. But as we’ll (briefly) hear about in part 4, he does become a record producer. So there’s that.

Kickboxer 2 is something of a mixed bag. The cast is good, but the Pyunniness is not. It’s a rocky way to start off the parade of sequels, but it’s not without some charm. It’s a mainstay in many used VHS sales, so if the price is cheap enough, it’s a viable addition to your collection.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC, The Video Vacuum, Ninja Dixon, and Ruthless Reviews!