Gangland (2001)

Gangland (2001)- * *

Directed by: Art Camacho

Starring:  Sasha Mitchell, Vincent Klyn, Tim Thomerson, Costas Mandylor, Sam Jones, Kathleen Kinmont, Kristanna Loken, Ice-T, and Coolio



"It's survival of the baddest."






Set in the far distant future of 2010, Gangland is the tale of a post-apocalyptic wasteland where a plague runs wild. Yes, another one. Evil bad guy Lucifer (Klyn) kidnaps scientist Dr. Adams (Thomerson) because he’s close to figuring out a cure for the plague and he wants it all to himself. Meanwhile, Derek (Mitchell), Jared (Mandylor), and Alexis (Kinmont) go on the run from all the rampaging post-apocalyptic punks (what is it about the future that always breeds so many punks?). 

While on the run, they take time out to engage in fight scenes with them occasionally. Will our three heroes survive long enough to be able to get the plague antidote from Lucifer - who has also bothered to make an unkillable, Frankenstein-like superbaddie to fend off his attackers? Find out today?

Gangland pretty much defines the term “low budget”. And yes, technically speaking, this movie is “bad”, but not for anyone with a sense of humor. Corral your buddies together, watch and enjoy. Presumably all the resources the filmmakers had went to the cast. You might think, if you just saw the cast list, you couldn’t go wrong, though Ice-T, Coolio, Kristanna Loken and Sam Jones simply make cameos. But our main heroes Mitchell, Mandylor and Kinmont kicking, punching and shooting goons might be enough, but your tolerance for stupidity, dumbness, idiocy, imbecility and ineptitude (truly, a movie like this does define the subtle differences in these words for you better than a dictionary ever could) has to be pretty high.

Fan-favorite Sasha Mitchell beats up more future-punks here in much the same way he did in Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994). Heck, it was only eleven years later in the worlds of that and Gangland. A plus goes to the fact that this is one of those “set in the future that is now the past” movies. We love those. We actively seek them out. 

Helping out Mitchell on his quest (before we move on, watch out for his scene in the jail. His performance is truly a powerhouse) is Costas Mandylor, who walks away from fire in slow motion, and Lamas Wife Kinmont who looks disturbingly like Chelsea Handler in this movie, but no others that we’ve seen her in. Vincent Klyn, Mario Van Obama himself, is especially Peebles-like (well, Peebles from Exterminator 2 (1984), complete with throne, sunglasses and army of goons).

We’ve learned that great hair and clothing still exist in the future, which is a relief. One of Lucifer’s Lieutenants wears a spaghetti-strap tanktop almost all the time, except when he puts a leather vest with gold rings stitched up the sides and the word “wiseguys” painted on the back of it, over said tanktop. 

Add to this mix the fact that it looks obviously shot on backlot-style sets (that you can visit anytime you want if you visit Universal Studios), and maybe a “fan-favorite death” or two, among all the absurd beat-em-up and shooting scenes, and you have...a movie.

Featuring two songs (the title song and “Freak”) by rapper C-Tab (Ice-T and Coolio must not have been available), Gangland is pretty lame by most standards, but provides humor value if you watch it with other people.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Cyborg (1989)

Cyborg (1989)-*1\2

Directed by: Albert Pyun

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn, Matt McColm, Dayle Haddon, Alex Daniels, and Ralf Moeller

In a desolate, post-apocalypse world, Gibson (Van Damme) is a fighter hired to escort a cyborg named Pearl (Haddon) who has a potential cure for a plague that is decimating what’s left of the world’s population. They have to get from New York to Atlanta, but along the way there are murderous baddies who want the cure for themselves. These so-called “Pirates” are led by Fender (Klyn). But Gibson has his own reasons for wanting to take down the evil gang. Will Gibson fight his way through the obstacles to save the world?

Released in the golden year of 1989, the same release year as the far-superior Bloodsport (1989), Cyborg is basically an afterthought for Van Damme in ‘89. It’s like Cannon had some excess film so they gave it to Albert Pyun to play around with. Bad idea. While Cyborg, amazingly, was theatrically released and spawned two sequels, it turned out to be the last theatrically-released Cannon movie in the U.S. It’s not a great note to go out on.

Pyun has proven time and again he’s not a talented filmmaker, and Cyborg really is no different from any post-apocalyptic slog. It’s in the same vein as American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993), Neon City (1991), or any number of Ron Marchini movies. The characters have wacky, ragged costumes, and there are a lot of capes on show. Capes are going to be huge in the future.

As far as the cast, besides Van Damme, we have Klyn as Fender, but due to the fact that he resembles a cross between Mario Van Peebles and our current president, we kept calling him “Mario Van Obama”. Seeing as Van Damme plays “Gibson Rickenbacker”, Klyn plays “Fender Tremolo” and Alex Daniels plays “Marshall Strat”, apparently also in the future you get a guitar name. Ralf Moeller is on show looking like some sort of ridiculous, long-haired caveman (named Brick Bardo of course, Pyun’s ubiquitous trademark name), and in his first movie role, none other than Matt McColm plays one of the Pirates.

So you’d think a movie with Van Damme, Moeller and McColm would be a surefire winner, but sloppiness, nonsensicality and a defiant lack of character development sink that quickly. There are some cool, bone-crunching fight sequences, but not enough to save the movie. These guys running around yet another abandoned warehouse isn’t all that interesting, but then there are some cyborg effects and a “Passion of the Van Damme” crucifixion, but none of it seems very competently handled.

If you know the Albert Pyun style of filmmaking (and if you do, we’re so sorry), Cyborg is more of the same. Personally we believe this is one of Van Damme’s weaker efforts, especially from the prime of his career when he was firing on all cylinders.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty