The Bad Pack (1997)

The Bad Pack (1997)- *1\2

Directed by: Brent Huff

Starring: Robert Davi, Ralf Moeller, Jeep Swenson, Brent Huff, Sven-Ole Thorsen, Roddy Piper, Larry B. Scott, Shawn Huff, Marshall R. Teague, and Vernon G. Wells










In the dusty border town of Los Robles, Texas, an evil white supremacist group led by Lamont Sperry (Teague) and his loyal henchman Sven (Ole-Thorsen) set up shop. I guess if you hate Mexican people, you go to the source, right? 

Well, two brothers decide the only way the destitute community can rid themselves of the baddies is by checking the ads in the back of Soldier of Fortune magazine, and hiring some mercenaries to kill them all. They take a train to L.A. and meet with a man named Biker (Wells), but he refuses their offer. Eventually they find the right man for the job: a one-man fighting force named McQue (Davi). What follows is classic “Assembling a Team” as McQue goes and finds people with special, individualized skills for the mission: Dash Simms (Piper) is the driver, Remi Sykes (Shawn Huff) is the sniper assassin, Kurt (Moeller) is the muscle, etc. This newly-christened (but never actually said out loud) BAD PACK is promised millions of dollars from the cache of the evildoers if they succeed...but will they?

The Bad Pack is a disappointment. With a galaxy of B-Movie stars on display and Brent Huff both in front of and behind the camera, you’d think it would be a no-brainer to make an awesome action classic. Not so much. But they did get the ‘no brain’ part right, as the movie is very, very dumb. It’s filled with stultifyingly stupid dialogue that drags down the whole project. Also, it needed more action. Saving all the action for the big climax is a no-no. Seeing as this is a supposed action movie, you should really have action DURING the movie. Doesn’t Brent Huff, of all people, know that?

There’s something sanitized about it - what little action scenes exist throughout the movie are quick and bloodless, and there’s minimal bad language and no nudity. It’s almost an action movie for the whole family. 

While it was great to see fan favorite Robert Davi in a lead role like this - especially when he’s foiling robbers at a diner with his canefighting skills or popping extended, unnecessary wheelies on his bright green motorbike, we wish the movie overall was of a better caliber and better suited to his skills. And because the whole outing is pure 90’s (of the pay-channel and back-shelf-of -the-video-store variety), there are not one but two scenes of Punchfighting: one with Battle Creek Brawl’s mega-meathead Jeep Swenson (R.I.P.) and Ralf Moeller, and another with Brent Huff and some other guy. Presumably these were the scenes meant to tide us over until the finale.

Marshall Teague, as the main baddie, looks a lot like George Lucas in this movie. And that’s in the scenes when he doesn’t look like Kenny Rogers. This really brought to the silver screen what George Lucas is probably like in real life. Yet another character we didn’t mention thus far, Jeremy Britt (Scott) plays a Black nerd (Blerd?) whose only function in The Bad Pack is that he owns a laptop. He claims to be the guy who “gets them the information”, as if the other members of the team don’t have access to the internet. But it was the golden age of Urkel, so, that decision makes sense.

But that leads us to two terms we coined - first is the Lone Tiger effect, when you think a movie is going to be good because of a stellar cast, but instead it’s a mess because there are TOO many characters and no one gets enough time in the sun. That’s The Bad Pack. 

Also it’s a Lacktion movie: a supposed action outing that lacks action. That’s The Bad Pack as well. Add to that some annoying characters and some light bathroom humor, and our good will is falling precipitously. And it’s all such a waste. The potential is CLEARLY there for a better movie, but it falls flat. Roddy Piper as a DRIVER who only marginally participates in the (of course) final warehouse fight? Are you kidding me? But on the bright side, Ralf Moeller stole his scenes and is quite good in it, as is Shawn Huff (that would be Mrs. Brent Huff).

Sadly, audiences who watch The Bad Pack are Huffing the fumes of the glory of the past work of the participants.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC! 

The Viking Sagas ( 1995)

The Viking Sagas (1995)-* *1\2

Directed by: Michael Chapman

Starring: Ralf Moeller,  Ingibjorg Stefansdottir, Henrik Olafsson and Sven-Ole Thorsen







 "Bad Luck"-Ketil



Set in the Iceland of medieval times, The Viking Sagas tells the story of Kjartan (Moeller), a lone Viking trying to find his way in a very confusing and constantly-changing world. In order to take on and defeat his rivals, he needs a mystical weapon called The Ghost Sword. But even then he is not trained in the ways of battle, so a more experienced Viking, Gunnar (Thorsen) agrees to train him. Making his quest a lot more pleasant is the beautiful maiden Gudrun (Stefansdottir). The forces of darkness are represented by Ketil (Olafsson), and Kjartan, Gudrun and Gunnar must defend their honor, their land, and their freedom, as Kjartan also avenges the death of his father. Will they succeed?

It’s “Brakus The Viking” as Ralf Moeller treks across Iceland in a chain mail vest in this so-so period piece. The locations are visually interesting, and they’re shot well, and Sven-Ole Thorsen is perfectly cast in the role he was truly born to play, but The Viking Sagas lacks coherence. 

The decision to use a narrator who is constantly naming characters and events doesn’t help the confusing factor. The “battle violence” is decent, but it can’t patch over some of the more plain and mediocre aspects of the overall film. There’s a certain earnestness about the whole project, which seems like a misplaced tone. There should have been a bit more verve.

The fact that the movie was directed by Michael Chapman, who is an Academy Award nominee for best cinematography for Raging Bull (1980), among others, and that the film was released on VHS by New Line with a bunch of trailers for more mainstream material such as The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) and Last Man Standing (1996), seems a bit odd. The Viking Sagas seems like it would have been released by Vestron, Academy or Continental in 1989. We’re guessing Harvey Weinstein isn’t constantly name-checking The Viking Sagas at his high-level Hollywood meetings. But, it presaged Game Of Thrones by many years, so maybe there should be some pride there.

Was there a huge demand for Viking-based Sagas in the 90’s? This particular Saga hits all the bullet points of what should be involved, such as a beautiful maiden, axe battles, snow, etc., but it’s unlikely to inspire viewers. 

That being said, the end credits are amazing. We’ve never highlighted that before (nor has any other movie reviewer, probably) - Just watching them, you see a dizzying myriad of crazy letter combinations, accent marks, letters not in English mixed in, and credits such as Robert “Bloodaxe” Brakey - where else are you going to see that? (He was a first assistant editor, by the by). That must be one seriously badass Editor. We’re guessing he edits film with an axe.

The Viking Sagas is completely hit or miss. There are some great moments, but they’re mixed in to an overall project which is...mixed. Fans of this historical period may want to check it out. For others, it’s probably not worth going out of your way for.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Best Of The Best 2 (1993)

Best Of The Best 2 (1993)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Robert Radler

Starring: Eric Roberts, Phillip Rhee, Chris Penn, Sonny Landham, Ralf Moeller, Meg Foster, Simon Rhee, and Wayne Newton









Now here’s a classic! In this lovably absurd sequel to Best of the Best (1989), illegal, underground Punchfighting matches are taking place in a secret club called The Coliseum. The front is a Las Vegas dance club called The Stock Exchange, but behind the scenes, “Gladiator Fights” are taking place (remember, at this time, the TV show American Gladiators was huge). Specifically, fighters dress up in absurd outfits and pummel each other to death. The star of the show is the arrogant, powerful and unbeatable soulless automaton Brakus (Moeller).

When the likable Travis Brickley (Penn) dies at the hands of the nefarious Brakus, only fellow fighter Alex Grady, his young son, inexplicably named Walter (Gross), and of course Tommy Lee (Rhee) can get to the bottom of this illegal Punchfighting operation. To do this, they head out to the desert so James (Landham) can help them train. Oh, and one more thing...WAYNE NEWTON is the head of this evil hydra.

Only in the early 90’s could a mix of utter silliness and brutal violence come together like this. Not only that, but we feel this movie was instrumental in promoting the Punchfighting genre. The Best of the Best series was surprisingly popular in video stores and on cable channels, and many people first got their taste of Punchfighting because of them. So for that, they deserve a lot of credit. Additionally, this was a time in which filmmakers felt that they should get quality actors and teach them to fight, instead of the other way around. That they should get Eric Roberts and Chris Penn, instead of any old meathead. And at least here, the formula works great.

And when we think “action movies” we immediately think “Wayne Newton”. Newton is a showbiz professional and gives his all here, and he, for whatever reason, really seems to care. he gives an energetic, big performance, and his presence sets the movie apart and makes it really enjoyable.  And while it’s great to see Chris Penn, Wayne Newton, Walter the kid (who looks more like a 35 year-old stunted adult), who loves his Tetris, and Eric Roberts, complete with his tomato apron, AND Phillip Rhee, Sonny Lanham, Meg Foster and Nicholas Worth, lest we forget....BRAKUS?

The writers of this movie must really be proud that they came up with the name Brakus, because it is said a minimum of 36 times throughout the movie. Ralf Moeller plays the classic German baddie, and a lot of Best of the Best 2 is lifted from Rocky IV (1985). The invincible Teutonic muscleman is the antagonist, and our heroes must go out into the wilderness to train to beat him (why are Phillip Rhee’s relatives Indians for some reason?), and of course the parallels between Apollo Creed and Travis Brickley.

There are many funny bits, Eric Roberts seems tipsy (if not drunk) throughout the movie, and all is well and good, but even as lovable as it is, it is a bit overlong. If the movie had been chopped down by about 10-15 minutes, we’d be dealing with an even bigger classic. But this is one David and Goliath tale that can certainly withstand multiple viewings.

Featuring the memorable title song by Mark Free, Best of the Best 2 just narrowly makes it into the ranks of a must-see.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Universal Soldier (1992)

Universal Soldier (1992)-* * *1\2

Directed by: Roland Emmerich

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Ally Walker, Tiny Lister, Leon Rippy, Ralf Moeller, Simon Rhee, and Jerry Orbach




"The Future Has A Bad Attitude"







Back in ‘Nam, soldier Luc Deveraux (Van Damme) met and became mortal enemies with the sinister fellow soldier Andrew Scott (Lundgren). Luc objected to Scott’s killing of civilians, and in the ensuing brouhaha, they end up killing each other. Or so we think. In 1992, they, along with other former soldiers have been turned by the government into “Universal Soldiers”, or “Unisols” for short. 

They are part man, but part machine as well, and have been programmed to follow orders emotionlessly. But slowly both Luc and Andrew start to regain more and more of their humanity. Luc escapes the compound with reporter Veronica Roberts (Walker) - but Andrew is not happy about that. So now Luc and Veronica are on the run, with Andrew chasing them everywhere they go and causing a lot of mayhem along the way. Old grudges die hard as the final fight proves. What will happen?

Universal Soldier is a classic from the golden age of action in America. This was a time from the late 80’s to early 90’s when movies like this went to the theater and had decent budgets behind them. And this in particular was such a success that is spawned four (soon to be five as of this writing) sequels. But the high quality of this production goes a long way and is nice to see, especially in light of the brutal violence and constant, messy head shots which are usually reserved for lower-budget outings.

But, beyond the violence, there are some interesting messages at work. One is that humanity will always remain in us and is stronger than any outside force. Despite all that has happened to them, Luc is still good and Andrew is still evil. The movie also tries to make modern-day parallels to their ‘Nam experiences. Funnily enough, there’s a (probably inadvertent) pro-steroid message, as characters get stronger and win fights after they inject a chemical into themselves.

Besides Van Damme and Lundgren together at last, we shouldn’t forget Ralf Moeller is on hand as well. That’s right, Brakus himself plays a Unisol. Now that’s an amazing power-trio if there ever was one. As if that wasn’t impressive enough, Tommy ‘Tiny’ Lister and Simon Rhee also play Unisols. 

Of course, the whole program was developed by Lennie - i.e. Jerry Orbach - who really doesn’t get a lot of screen time. Ally Walker as the classic know-nothing reporter who serves as some kind of audience identification is okay, not great. But Dolph puts in a rare animated performance and seems to relish being the super-evil baddie here.

While the movie follows a very definite formula, there’s also plenty of humor so the proceedings don’t get too dour. Part of that, presumably, is the surprising amount of un-asked-for, unneeded Van Damme nudity. But the Unisols are kept in cold storage like so many hot dogs, and their eyepiece resembles an evil monocle, adding to their scary appearance. It’s also amusing to see Belgians and Swedes fighting in the Vietnam War...but come to think of it, this movie can really be summed up in three words: Necklace Of Ears.

Just get some action stars and a solid budget and entertainment will ensue. If only Hollywood kept on this path, but sadly they didn’t. If you haven’t yet seen it (or haven’t seen it in a long while), see Universal Soldier.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Cyborg (1989)

Cyborg (1989)-*1\2

Directed by: Albert Pyun

Starring: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Deborah Richter, Vincent Klyn, Matt McColm, Dayle Haddon, Alex Daniels, and Ralf Moeller

In a desolate, post-apocalypse world, Gibson (Van Damme) is a fighter hired to escort a cyborg named Pearl (Haddon) who has a potential cure for a plague that is decimating what’s left of the world’s population. They have to get from New York to Atlanta, but along the way there are murderous baddies who want the cure for themselves. These so-called “Pirates” are led by Fender (Klyn). But Gibson has his own reasons for wanting to take down the evil gang. Will Gibson fight his way through the obstacles to save the world?

Released in the golden year of 1989, the same release year as the far-superior Bloodsport (1989), Cyborg is basically an afterthought for Van Damme in ‘89. It’s like Cannon had some excess film so they gave it to Albert Pyun to play around with. Bad idea. While Cyborg, amazingly, was theatrically released and spawned two sequels, it turned out to be the last theatrically-released Cannon movie in the U.S. It’s not a great note to go out on.

Pyun has proven time and again he’s not a talented filmmaker, and Cyborg really is no different from any post-apocalyptic slog. It’s in the same vein as American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1993), Neon City (1991), or any number of Ron Marchini movies. The characters have wacky, ragged costumes, and there are a lot of capes on show. Capes are going to be huge in the future.

As far as the cast, besides Van Damme, we have Klyn as Fender, but due to the fact that he resembles a cross between Mario Van Peebles and our current president, we kept calling him “Mario Van Obama”. Seeing as Van Damme plays “Gibson Rickenbacker”, Klyn plays “Fender Tremolo” and Alex Daniels plays “Marshall Strat”, apparently also in the future you get a guitar name. Ralf Moeller is on show looking like some sort of ridiculous, long-haired caveman (named Brick Bardo of course, Pyun’s ubiquitous trademark name), and in his first movie role, none other than Matt McColm plays one of the Pirates.

So you’d think a movie with Van Damme, Moeller and McColm would be a surefire winner, but sloppiness, nonsensicality and a defiant lack of character development sink that quickly. There are some cool, bone-crunching fight sequences, but not enough to save the movie. These guys running around yet another abandoned warehouse isn’t all that interesting, but then there are some cyborg effects and a “Passion of the Van Damme” crucifixion, but none of it seems very competently handled.

If you know the Albert Pyun style of filmmaking (and if you do, we’re so sorry), Cyborg is more of the same. Personally we believe this is one of Van Damme’s weaker efforts, especially from the prime of his career when he was firing on all cylinders.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty