Jungle Heat (1985)

 

Jungle Heat (1985)- * *1\2

Directed by: Jobic Wong

Starring: Sam Jones and Mei Sheng Fan

In the waning days of the Vietnam war (presumably around 1975 or so but it's never said specifically) the American forces evidently need truck drivers for supply runs. Maybe it's because of all the previous casualties, but they can't find any drivers. So a ragtag team is assembled and quickly trained. The head of the New Truck Driver Training Unit, which is presumably what this endeavor is called, is Gordon (Jones). After some training, which is brief by Army standards but lengthy by movie-viewing standards, the guys are sent off into the deadly jungles of 'Nam. Many obstacles are thrown in their way, but none are more challenging than the head baddie (played by Mei Sheng Fan of Story of Ricky and Attrition fame), a sadistic torturer. Some kidnappings, shootings, blow-ups, truck chases, and other exploding-hut-esque activities follow, and it's all capped off by a bizarre motorbike competition to see who can skid under a logging truck. Maybe the JUNGLE HEAT is getting to us all...


When the first shot of any film is a framed picture of Richard Nixon on the wall, which then zooms out so the dialogue and and action can begin, you know you're in for a good time. Well, some of the time. Not this time. But still, it was a wacky start and there are some noteworthy things about the largely lackluster Jungle Heat.


It helps if you're a Sam Jones fan. He brings some interest and life to the proceedings, his classic spiky brush cut towering over the other, smaller-in-stature and less-stylishly-coiffed cast. Unfortunately, his voice is dubbed just like everyone else in the film, and if you know Sam Jones's voice, as we all do, the overdubbed voice he was given seems to not be a fit. Those loud, no-subtlety, nattering voices that seemed all the rage at this time are punishing on the ears. They make the explosions and gunfire sound like Barry White by comparison.


Jones was also a truck driver in Driving Force (1989), so he was familiar with plots involving...truck driving. It may not be the most thrilling way to kick off an action film, but it's all in the execution. Sadly, Jungle Heat doesn't focus on execution (unless you count some unlucky POW's). The film just lazily goes from incident to incident, winding and babbling like the Mekong river itself. This lax and basically structureless approach to plotting is similar to Karate Warrior 6 (1993): something happens, then something else happens, then maybe something else, but there's no continuity or "glue" holding it all together. Maybe this flies in some countries, but to our American eyes it just seems boneless and blobby.


Adding to the negatives column, there are huge swathes of time where Sam Jones is absent. However, as indicated earlier, it's not a total loss: There's a classic silly barfight to watch out for, and some of the violence is pretty wicked, including a standout gore moment that was appreciated, but seems tonally out of whack with the rest of the goings-on. We always mention "PT", or Prerequisite Torture, which, in a post-Rambo world, was, well, prerequisite for these lower-budgeted productions. They needed an inexpensive way to stand out and that was how they chose to do it. Jungle Heat takes it a bit far, with more torture than its Mercs-box-set/When-The-Vietnam-War-Raged-In-The-Philippines competitors, even making its main baddie not simply a baddie, but a huge torture fan.


Also of note is that the bald guy on the good guys (?) team was apparently named Mazo, but all we heard was "Matzoh". The idea that an East Asian warrior man would be named Matzoh is so unbelievably absurd that you just have to laugh. Or maybe not. I hear he's a big hit at Passover Seders.


There is a rare movie that, as of this writing, we're looking for: Jungle Heat (AKA Rapid Fire) from 1988. It has Cynthia Rothrock, George Chung, Leo Fong, Chuck Jeffreys, and Richard Norton. Based on the cast alone, it's probably better than this film of the same name from '85. There are also other movies called Jungle Heat out there: one dates all the way back to 1927, another from 1957, and one from 1983, which is also called Dance of the Dwarfs and stars Peter Fonda and Deborah Raffin. Just to avoid any confusion, the one under discussion today was directed by Jobic Wong (which sounds more like an argument over a pen: "That ain't Jobic, that's my Bic!").


In the end, if you like movies like War Camp or maybe even Dog Tags, you may be able to wring some entertainment value out of the rag that is Jungle Heat. Sam Jones has done better, and there are far more explosive and entertaining entries in the Exploding Hut genre, such as Mannigan's Force or Commander. Maybe go with those instead, unless you're on a quest to see every Jungle film of all time.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

American Tigers (1996)

 

American Tigers (1996)- * *

Directed by: David Worth 

Starring: Sam Jones, Don Gibb, Todd Curtis, Joe Estevez, and Cynthia Rothrock

Terrorist Riley Hooker (Curtis) gets the idea to gather all the other terrorist groups from around the world and assemble them on his boat in a Los Angeles harbor. When the military, especially General Clay (Estevez) gets wind of his plan, he gets Sgt. Major Ransom (Jones) to enact an equally crafty response. They gather together a ragtag bunch of death row convicts and train them for three weeks to become a fighting force against the baddies. If they die, well, they were going to die anyway. 

If they survive, they can go free. While most of the prisoners are quite obnoxious, thankfully Ransom's buddy Dan Storm (Gibb), a biker and non-prisoner, wants to help as well. Will our heroes defeat the evil lying in wait for them? They do have a special guest star waiting to train them in Martial Arts, so their odds of becoming AMERICAN TIGERS are looking better by the day.


Well, we had to watch American Tigers. We couldn't pass up the opportunity to see something with fan favorites Sam Jones, Cynthia Rothrock, Donald Gibb, and Joe Estevez all together. It also features Paul Logan and Matt McColm in small, uncredited roles. So how could it go so terribly wrong? Stultifyingly stupid dialogue, dull, lifeless, amazingly repetitive training sequences, and just an air of generalized dumbness that is impossible to deny. The endless meatheaded monotony of it all tends to grate on the viewers' nerves.


Now, there are a couple of bright spots that act in sharp contrast to the morass of stupidity that surrounds American Tigers like a cloud. First off is the brief but incredibly welcome presence of Rothrock. Inexplicably, she plays herself as a Martial Arts instructor for the prisoners. Why it had to be her, and not a character, remains unknown. It's very bizarre to have Sam Jones say to his charges things like, "Say hello to Cynthia Rothrock!" in a non-documentary context. It was just very strange. Despite her front-and-center positioning on the box art, it's really a glorified cameo. Still, why Rothrock individually beating up each prisoner in the ring is part of their training is pretty strange too.


Donald Gibb almost saves the movie, because his character is personable and likable. None of the other characters are. American Tigers, if it needed one thing - and it needed a lot of things - it would have been more Gibb. If the filmmakers were really smart, they would have made Gibb and Rothrock partners that were fighting the terrorists, and they dispatch wave after wave of goons, and forget everything else. But no, director David Worth thought it extra-necessary to have a long, drawn out tournament between a group of Navy SEALS and the ragtag misfits. Incidentally, the group is named "Tiger 525 Tiger Team", a name that's as repetitive as the movie itself.


The main terrorist has some entertaining dialogue, and the opening sequence is like a junkier, lower-budget version of Megadeth's Symphony of Destruction video. Then there's a silly chase, and we're off and running into the "no intelligence allowed" zone. If you watch American Tigers, you may have to hold on tight to your brain cells, as depletion is a serious concern here.


Should we be surprised that the director of all this is the aforementioned Worth, director of Kickboxer (1989), a movie with a lot of training sequences? The man must really think audiences want to watch men train and train for things.


The release history for American Tigers is spotty, perhaps unsurprisingly, but it did receive VHS and DVD releases in Germany, and was put out here by York Entertainment. That release is now rare. Whatever you do, don't confuse this with American Tiger (1989) AKA American Rickshaw. That's a great movie that's well worth watching. American Tigers, sadly, is not.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

TNT (1997)

 

TNT (1997)- * *

Directed by: Robert Radler

Starring: Olivier Gruner, Randy Travis, Rebecca Staab, Bre Blair, Ken Olandt, Kane Hodder, Simon Rhee, Sam Jones, and Eric Roberts

Alex Cheval (Gruner) is a member of TNT, or the Tactical Neutralization Squad. They're a group of Iraq War vets who are sent around the world to deal with sensitive issues that require them to beat up and shoot people. When one of the ops goes horribly wrong, Alex walks away from the group. Now known as an average guy named Mark, he gets a job as an aerobics instructor in a small town in Colorado. He's buddies with the local sheriff, Jim (Travis), and is in a relationship with Jamie (Staab), who has a daughter from a previous marriage (Blair).

Unfortunately for Alex/Mark, his new, idyllic life is about to be shattered. His former compatriots in TNT now work for an evil mastermind named Robert Victor Russo (Roberts), and because Russo doesn't want any loose ends, he turns loose the former TNT boys on Alex. Alex is then put in the position where he has to take on his former comrades-in-arms, highly-trained elite soldiers who want him dead at all costs. They include, but are not limited to, Greel (Jones), Basu (Olandt), and Choi (Rhee). Will Alex Cheval be able to protect his new family and his new life from the assailants formerly known as TNT?

From looking at the cover for TNT, which features a solo, shirtless Gruner, you'd be forgiven for thinking it was a Punchfighter. Surprisingly, it's actually not. It's more your standard 90's DTV actioner that starts off like one of those boring "war slog" movies, but transitions to a better scenario where the baddies are trying to get Gruner as he lives his suburban life. 

Sure, there's a certain moment that's highly reminiscent of The Specialist (1994), but there's one thing TNT has that The Specialist does not have: Randy Travis. It was an inspired casting choice, and his speaking voice is as comforting and soothing as his singing voice. Because TNT features a very Radical Jack-esque barfight, we're graced with the presence of a country singer, and it features a former elite soldier trying to start a new life in suburbia, not to mention the similar overall feel, it was hard not to make comparisons to 'Jack.

The barfight takes place at an establishment classily named Bullwinkle's. The daughter character in the movie mentions how they have a rockin' jukebox. One of the toughs Gruner beats up is Kane Hodder, who gets to show off a bit of humor, which is rare to see from him. On top of Bullwinkle's, the name of the gym where Alex works is The Penitentiary. So obviously the business owners in that particular small town have good senses of humor.

While there are plenty of B-Movie names on display, we wouldn't classify this as "Lone Tiger Effect" because TNT isn't bad, it's just a bit too bland for its own good. Eric Roberts, sporting a stylish beard, is just another cast member along with the rest. He doesn't get any particular time in the sun here.

Director Radler, known for Best of the Best (1989), Best of the Best II (1993), Showdown (1993), and The Substitute: Failure Is Not an Option (2001), delivers enough of the action goods so that TNT would find itself on video store shelves and in the cable listings. It doesn't exactly go "above and beyond the call of duty" to entertain us, but it does the minimum and features some of the silly moments we all love.



In the end, TNT is okay, all right, and fine, but it needed a bit more oomph to really make itself stand out from the pack.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out write-ups from our buddies, DTVC and The Video Vacuum!

Trigon Fire (1989)

Trigon Fire (1989)- * *1\2

Directed by: Teddy Page

Starring: Sam Jones, Eddie Jadali, David Light, Anthony East, Jerry Beyer, Mike Monty, and Blueberry as Sandra










The Trigon is a superweapon developed by several world powers and it has the capability of massive destruction. It's in three (hence the "tri") parts, and all three parts are needed for it to work, so everyone is after those parts, which are collectively called The Trigon Factor. After Abdul Hassik (Eddie Jadali) of the Palestinian Liberation Front steals part of the Trigon, he then sells it to international terrorist Cyrian McCoy (East).

CIA operative William Shield (Light) is tasked with taking down McCoy and his goons. Unfortunately, an American doctor, James Ford (Jones), is swept up in all this intrigue thanks to a classic case of mistaken identity. As are his wife and daughter. Teaming up with a man named Manuel (Beyer), the two men fight the baddies the best they can, but it's not going to be easy with something as big as the Trigon at stake. What will happen to Dr. James Ford?

You know that any movie featuring the credit "And Introducing Blueberry as Sandra Powers" is going to be one that's sure to pique the public's curiosity. However, Trigon Fire is more in the mid-range of Teddy Page's directorial output. It's certainly not bad, but it doesn't reach the heights of a Phantom Soldiers (1989). To be fair, what can? There seems to be more of an emphasis on intrigue this time around. The exploding huts take a secondary role to that. Maybe this is Mr. Page's more "mature" work. 

If you watch a lot of these Philippines-set actioners, you'll recognize plenty of the hallmarks of the genre: machine-gun shooting, green backdrops, loud, screaming dialogue, and the presence of such people as Mike Monty. While Monty is your classic evil general, giving the outing an "El Presidente"-type vibe, we see that Manuel is more than just your average cabbie.

David Light has an impressive resume that consists of almost exclusively appearing in Philippine action. He looks like the guy from Sparks, so of course he was cast in the action hero role. A movie highlight appears when he comes to face off against the baddies on his motorcycle. He's wearing a leather outfit with huge aviator sunglasses and the shot is from below, so he looks extra-heroic.


While we've seen plenty of guard-tower falls in our time, we have yet to see someone tumble slowly down the steps of said guard tower. Well, until now, of course. It's less of a violent spectacle, more of a slow-motion "oops!"

Fan favorite Sam Jones seems to be hilariously miscast as a confused doctor. That's one of the things that makes the film so fun overall. Sure, he gets in on the action, but it appears a decision was made to make David Light the main action hero. Maybe Jones was put here just so they could market the film as Under the Gun 2. Of course it has nothing to do with the original...was the first Under the Gun such a huge hit in The Philippines that that title was warranted? It appears the answer was yes.

If you watch the end credits, you might be surprised to find that these people were involved: Kurt Russell, Spike Lee, Wallace Shawn, John Hurt, Christopher Hitchens, Harvey Fierstein, and Don King, as well as theater luminaries Neil Simon, Sam Shepard, Joe Orton, Peter Shaffer, Arthur Miller, and, most hilariously of all, Stephen Sondheim!

It was very generous of these people to lend their time to Teddy Page. Clearly they recognized the artistic merit of Trigon Fire. I've heard of "off Broadway" but this is ridiculous! I heard yet another alternate title for the film was going to be "Trigon Fierstein".

There's always something wacky going on in the exploding-hut genre and this just proves why they're continually worth seeking out.

While it wasn't released in the U.S. or U.K., Trigon Fire may be worth seeking out for completists of this sort of thing. It doesn't rank towards the top of the heap, but certainly a viewing on YouTube will provide 85 minutes of entertainment.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Under The Gun (1988)

Under The Gun (1988) - * * *

Directed by: James Sbardellati

Starring: Sam Jones, Vanessa Williams, Nick Cassavetes, Don Stark, Dan Tullis Jr., Michael Halsey, John Russell, and Rockne Tarkington








 Mike Braxton (Jones) is a rough-and-tumble St. Louis cop who is distraught after his partner dies during the course of what they initially believed was a routine investigation. But Braxton soon discovers his problems are about to get much bigger. His brother, Tony Braxton (Cassavetes), who we believe had a hit with “Un-break My Heart”, gives Mike a desperate call from L.A. and tells him he’s in deep trouble. It seems Tony was involved in illegal plutonium trafficking, and now the goons of the nefarious Simon Stone (Russell) are after him. 

Mike comes to L.A. and all hell breaks loose, with Stone unleashing his arsenal of goons on the unkillable cop, such as Frank (Halsey), Leon (Tarkington), and Joey (Stark), among others. Meanwhile Mike has to protect Samantha Richards (Williams) from the flying bullets and rocket launchers. Will they get out from UNDER THE GUN? Find out today…

Not to be confused with Under The Gun (1995), starring, and we quote the DVD box, the “likable action star Richard Norton”, THIS Under The Gun also features a likable action star, in this case Sam Jones. In the pantheon of 80’s action stars, we would rank the coolness of hair as follows: 1. Michael Dudikoff 2. Dolph Lundgren 3. Sam Jones. Having the third coolest hair of the 80’s action stars is no mean feat. (Feel free to leave a comment if you disagree with/want to add more to this list). Mike Braxton is the type of man who doesn’t back down from a fight, and there are plenty of cool action bits to keep fans entertained.

The baddies seem to have a larger-than-usual proclivity towards rocket launchers, which we certainly applauded, and Sam Jones gets some nice “hero shots” which cast him in a very valiant light. By contrast, Vanessa Williams plays the classic “complaining woman” and isn’t that likable. This clichéd role/performance was unfortunate and hurt the movie, but not enough for us to not recommend it. 

The sax/wailing-guitar soundtrack was entirely appropriate to the proceedings, and the fact that the illegal plutonium is being transported in a Robotech lunchbox adds to the interest, especially for 80’s fans like us.

And that’s just the thing, there were so many movies like this on the video store shelves of the 80’s and 90’s, it seems Under The Gun got lost in the shuffle. But the whole thing is well-paced and entertaining, so we can chalk up another winner to Sam Jones, one of the more reliable names of the day. This one only enhances his reputation. Featuring the catchy and energetic songs “Talkin’ Bout Love” by Debra Laws and “Paralyzed” by Brenda Reierson, despite a couple of minor flaws, we can put Under The Gun in the winner’s circle. 

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Gangland (2001)

Gangland (2001)- * *

Directed by: Art Camacho

Starring:  Sasha Mitchell, Vincent Klyn, Tim Thomerson, Costas Mandylor, Sam Jones, Kathleen Kinmont, Kristanna Loken, Ice-T, and Coolio



"It's survival of the baddest."






Set in the far distant future of 2010, Gangland is the tale of a post-apocalyptic wasteland where a plague runs wild. Yes, another one. Evil bad guy Lucifer (Klyn) kidnaps scientist Dr. Adams (Thomerson) because he’s close to figuring out a cure for the plague and he wants it all to himself. Meanwhile, Derek (Mitchell), Jared (Mandylor), and Alexis (Kinmont) go on the run from all the rampaging post-apocalyptic punks (what is it about the future that always breeds so many punks?). 

While on the run, they take time out to engage in fight scenes with them occasionally. Will our three heroes survive long enough to be able to get the plague antidote from Lucifer - who has also bothered to make an unkillable, Frankenstein-like superbaddie to fend off his attackers? Find out today?

Gangland pretty much defines the term “low budget”. And yes, technically speaking, this movie is “bad”, but not for anyone with a sense of humor. Corral your buddies together, watch and enjoy. Presumably all the resources the filmmakers had went to the cast. You might think, if you just saw the cast list, you couldn’t go wrong, though Ice-T, Coolio, Kristanna Loken and Sam Jones simply make cameos. But our main heroes Mitchell, Mandylor and Kinmont kicking, punching and shooting goons might be enough, but your tolerance for stupidity, dumbness, idiocy, imbecility and ineptitude (truly, a movie like this does define the subtle differences in these words for you better than a dictionary ever could) has to be pretty high.

Fan-favorite Sasha Mitchell beats up more future-punks here in much the same way he did in Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (1994). Heck, it was only eleven years later in the worlds of that and Gangland. A plus goes to the fact that this is one of those “set in the future that is now the past” movies. We love those. We actively seek them out. 

Helping out Mitchell on his quest (before we move on, watch out for his scene in the jail. His performance is truly a powerhouse) is Costas Mandylor, who walks away from fire in slow motion, and Lamas Wife Kinmont who looks disturbingly like Chelsea Handler in this movie, but no others that we’ve seen her in. Vincent Klyn, Mario Van Obama himself, is especially Peebles-like (well, Peebles from Exterminator 2 (1984), complete with throne, sunglasses and army of goons).

We’ve learned that great hair and clothing still exist in the future, which is a relief. One of Lucifer’s Lieutenants wears a spaghetti-strap tanktop almost all the time, except when he puts a leather vest with gold rings stitched up the sides and the word “wiseguys” painted on the back of it, over said tanktop. 

Add to this mix the fact that it looks obviously shot on backlot-style sets (that you can visit anytime you want if you visit Universal Studios), and maybe a “fan-favorite death” or two, among all the absurd beat-em-up and shooting scenes, and you have...a movie.

Featuring two songs (the title song and “Freak”) by rapper C-Tab (Ice-T and Coolio must not have been available), Gangland is pretty lame by most standards, but provides humor value if you watch it with other people.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Also check out a write-up from our buddy, DTVC!

Da Vinci's War (1993)

Da Vinci's War (1993)- * *

Directed by: Raymond Martino

Starring: Joey Travolta, James Russo, Vanity, Richard Foronjy, Branscombe Richmond, Melissa Moore, Harold Joseph Green, Sam Jones, and Michael Nouri












When his sister is violently murdered by arch-baddie Mintz (Russo), Frank Da Vinci (Travolta) wants revenge. Da Vinci, a highly-decorated Vietnam vet, wants to leave his past behind him and move on with his life, getting involved with his local mission, and forging a relationship with the religious Lupe (Vanity), who cares for his young niece when he's not around. 

But Da Vinci is also still in touch with his 'Nam buddies, who all have too-appropriate nicknames such as the Shakespeare-quoting Hamlet (Foronjy), the guy in the wheelchair named Wheels (Green), and the guy of unimportant Asian origin that may or may not be Hawaiian, Don Ho (Richmond), among others. But even Da Vinci's ever-loyal charges aren't enough to get to the bottom of the murder of his beloved sibling, so he enlists the help of hired killer China Smith (Nouri). 

At first Smith doesn't want to be bothered with Da Vinci and would rather concentrate on his girlfriend, mysteriously named Fred (Moore). But after inexplicably talking to his computer (the computer never responds), he gets some info on Da Vinci that changes his mind, and he enlists in DA VINCI'S WAR. But will there be victory or defeat?

 The original Da Vinci code, this is pretty much an Italian-American variant on Gordon's War (1973), right down to the title. But this particular War is about as "Direct To Video" as it gets in its look and feel. Around these parts, however, that's not considered a negative, but other people might want to be forewarned about the low-budget vibe. 

Director Martino is a largely un-talked about figure in the DTV world, having worked a lot with City Lights/PM and been involved with their Anna Nicole Smithsploitation in the 90's. He obviously spent his budget on the stellar B-movie cast, which besides the aforementioned names also features fan favorite Sam Jones, as well as Bob Golic and a whole bunch of Travoltas, such as Rachel, Nicole, and Sam (the latter behind the camera, along with Addison Randall).

 Joey, quite possibly the most talented Travolta to date, is initially unrecognizable with his facial hair. But once he utters the immortal line “Aw Geez!”(in a surprisingly dramatic reading of that Travolta-ism) we know it can only be him. In other cast news, there’s also Gino Dentie, who released the “Direct Disco” album in the 70’s, and who also collaborated on the song “Da Vinci’s March” with Branscombe Richmond. So there’s more than enough on-screen talent, but it doesn’t entirely translate into a wholly enjoyable and completely cohesive final product.

What’s good about Da Vinci’s War is that it is from a time before Tarantino knockoffs polluted the market. And that both James Russo and Joey Travolta, at different points, walk in slow motion, thus looking cool. Plus Michael Nouri gets a great intro to his character. 

What’s bad about Da Vinci’s War is that it falls prey to the typical low budget pitfalls: stodgy acting, a stiff feel, and low-energy valleys that we as viewers have to go through. Not to say that there aren’t a few okay moments (not to mention some unintentionally funny moments), but the balance isn’t always in the movie’s favor.

While the epilogue after the movie states that it is dedicated to all the homeless veterans, the sentiment is undercut somewhat due to the fact that on a banner over all the vets, they misspelled the word “homeless”! If they’re trying to get our sympathy by informing us of the “homless” vets, they should run their banner through spell check. Unless the point is to announce their lack of hom. Or maybe they’re going the route of little moppets selling lemonade with a sign with a few backwards letters in order to draw us in. Our vets deserve better than that. But the banner is over what can only be described as a shuffling “Homeless Veteran’s Choir” and they all sing, led by Vanity of course. So that must be a movie first.

In the end, Da Vinci’s War sports a never-to-be-replicated cast assemblage, but it lacks the forceful punch it could have had.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty 

Driving Force (1989)

Driving Force (1989)-* * *

Directed by: Andrew Prowse

Starring: Sam Jones, Stephanie Mason, Catherine Bach, Don Swayze, Ancel Cook, Robert Marius, and Billy Blanks











Steve O’Neill (Jones) is a down-on-his luck father. He has a great relationship with his seven-and-a-half-year old daughter Becky (Stephanie Mason, in sadly her only credited role) and they’re kind of seeing each other through the hard times. Steve manages to find a job as a tow truck driver for No Risk Repair, whose motto is “a wreck a day, or you’re outta the way”. So while the hard-working Steve is out there busting his hump, he discovers a cabal of evil, rival tow-truck drivers who work for Black Knight Towing. Why you’d want your towing service to sound sinister remains unknown. 

Led by the diabolical hauler Nelson (Swayze), he and his compatriots Surf (Marius)and Pool (Blanks) use the most underhanded and illegal tactics to bring in their wrecks.  While Steve is just trying to defend himself and his daughter from the escalating towing wars, he gets even more on his plate as he constantly battles Becky’s deceased mother’s parents for custody rights. But he has allies in his fight: the pretty and capable (and female) Harry (Bach) and his old buddy Pete (Cook) are helping him out. When it comes to protecting his beloved daughter, what will be Steve’s DRIVING FORCE?

We very much enjoyed Driving Force. We thought the concept of evil tow truck drivers fighting a likable rival driver was pretty original, and Sam Jones has a lot of charisma and screen presence. His onscreen chemistry with his daughter was winning, and the daughter herself was a classic precocious kid of the time, but not annoying. 

Plus it was all ahead of its time: now there are many towing-based reality shows on TV. And surely Robert Marius - who has a very impressive action movie pedigree, including Cop Game (1988) - pioneered the concept of “guyliner”. While at first the unusual pace may take some initial getting-used to, once the movie kicks in, going along for the ride is definitely enjoyable.

The tow trucks both companies drive seem kind of futuristic, but nothing else in the movie would indicate that it takes place in the future. Don Swayze does a menacing job as the scuzzball Nelson, the baddie with an interesting secret. He and his fellow “tow-goodniks” (I’m REALLY sorry about that) definitely should win employees of the month. They truly care about their job. They really give their all at the workplace. 

When most people speak about the works of Billy Blanks, Driving Force rarely, if ever, comes up in conversation. His voice seems about an octave lower than usual, and as one of the main trio of bad guys, he’s not exactly front and center, but let’s not forget about this movie when talking about Billy.

The VHS was released on Academy in the U.S., and a quick glance at the box art shows some seriously pasted-on heads to some seriously unwitting bodies. What was wrong with the original bodies? It’s perhaps even more egregious than the paste job used for Liberty and Bash (1989) - 1989 was a banner year for many things, presumably that would also include incorrect head-body ratios. It’s certainly funny, as funny as some of the dialogue in the movie itself. 

The movie - we believe - was shot in the Philippines, but with a largely American main cast. But at least some of the production team was Australian, including the well-known Antony Ginnane, leading to the fact that the legendary, awesome stuntman Grant Page was involved. It’s all behind the scenes stuff, but whenever he’s on board, we’re going to try to mention it, we’re such fans of his.

In the end, we believe Driving Force is a diamond in the rough, whose day of reappraisal has finally arrived.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Also check out a review by our buddy, Cool Target!

Silent Assassins (1988)

Silent Assassins (1988)-* * *

Directed by: Doo-Yong Lee

Starring: Sam Jones, Linda Blair, Bill Erwin, Phillip Rhee, Jun Chong, Gustav Vintas, Rebecca Ferratti, and Mako












Sam Kettle (Jones) is tired of being an L.A. cop on the edge, so he and his wife Sara (Blair) decide to move to Colorado. But before he can escape, he’s called back in for “one last mission”. It seems a criminal mastermind named Kendrick (Vintas of Zero Tolerance fame), who is an “Ex-C.I.A. turned psychotic”, and his apprentice, Amy (Ferratti),  have kidnapped elderly biochemist Dr. Terence London (Erwin), and a six-year-old girl as well. Seeing as Kendrick was responsible for the death of Kettle’s old partner, now he wants to settle the score. Coming along for the ride is Jun Kim (Chong), uncle of the kidnapped girl, and Bernard (Rhee), owner of a Kendo studio. But to achieve their goal won’t be easy, as they have to face off against not just regular ninjas, but ninjas with axes (or, “Ninjaxes”). Will the trio be able to fight to the finish?  And what does a stuffed Heathcliff doll have to do with all this?

From the opening credit informing us that this is an “Action Brother Production, Inc.”, you know you are in for something good. Silent Assassins is a fast-paced and entertaining romp with some familiar faces, and the movie is easy to enjoy. Sam Jones is the ultimate 80’s coolguy, with his sunglasses, jeep, bomber jacket, spiky brushcut hairdo and unshaven face. He’s truly as cool as the metal his last name in the movie is obviously made of. In the big-budget remake they’ll surely get Bruce Willis to replace him. But Mako is onboard as well. We love seeing him, but he’s still unintelligible. Yet another fan favorite, Phillip Rhee rounds out the cast of heroes and right there you know you have something worth seeing. Unfortunately, Linda Blair plays a cliched “wife” role and doesn’t live up to the image on the box cover. That could have added a new dimension to this movie, but sadly it wasn’t to be.

But that’s one of the few negatives here - there’s plenty of high-kicking action, not to mention the damage incurred by the Ninjaxes, which include dismemberments and fan-favorite death, decapitation. There’s even a possible exploding helicopter for fans of that, as well. Bill Erwin, who fans of Seinfeld may remember as the old guy with the large record collection that Kramer and Newman try to resell, shows us all that if you want to blow up a computer, just turn the keyboard over so the keys are facing down. The kidnapped senior citizen plotline is very reminiscent of the previous year’s Survival Game (1987), where the older man in question was played by Seymour Cassel. Kidnapping the elderly to find out their secrets must have been a popular idea in ‘87-88.

Silent Assassins delivers the Golden-Age-of-the-video-store-style action goods and achieves a lot of entertainment for its modest budget. We liked it.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Down N' Dirty (2001)

Down N' Dirty (2001)-* * *

Directed by: Fred Williamson

Starring: Fred Williamson, Gary Busey, Tony Lo Bianco, David Carradine, Bubba Smith, Sam Jones, Andrew Divoff, Randy J. Goodwin, and Charles Napier








Dak is back! That would be Dakota “Dak” Smith (Williamson) to be precise. First seen in Night Vision (1997), Down ‘n Dirty is his second appearance, followed by On The Edge (2002). He also portrayed Dak in The Rage Within (2001) the same year as D’ND, 2001. This time around, the Dakster is in a whole heap o’trouble after his partner of many years is suddenly shot. As he tries in his inimitable style (ranging between cynical Cop On The Edge to smooth ladies man) to get answers, he runs up against resistance and even outright hostility in his own department - everyone ranging from his Captain, Teller (Napier), to Det. Ward (Lo Bianco). It turns out there’s corruption and conspiracy involved from D.A. Casey (Busey), who is in contact with the mysterious Gil Garner (Carradine) - who commands an army of goons such as Jimmy (Divoff). Naturally, they all want Dak’s head, because he’s trying to get to the truth. Does even his friend Det. Cale (Smith) believe him? Dak is going to have to team up with photographer Nick Gleem (Goodwin) to ultimately find out. Can he do it?

Somehow Fred is able to corral all these great stars to be in his movies. Sure, as we noted in our review for On the Edge, the dialogue is muffled at times, and the music drowns it out - because apparently for us, the audience, hearing electronic drums bashing away is more important than hearing valuable plot points - but thankfully the great Fred Williamson carries the 70’s/80’s-style cop drama/thriller into the 21st century, with no apologies. To the jaded and cynically minded, you could say it’s filled with all the cliches we’ve all seen thousands of times before, but those people are overlooking one crucial detail: the charm of Fred Williamson. Fred’s charisma absolutely carries this movie, as well as many of his others, and even the filler (which there’s plenty of, and as a result this movie could have been shorter) is enjoyable. The cliches are fun cliches, and the filler is fun filler, and we should be happy this movie was made in the first place.

Let’s not overlook that this is Bubba Smith at his absolute best. His line deliveries are priceless. He’s a giant man who wears a short tie that only reaches to about his sternum, and his hair is just...inexplicable. It looks like as if the top of his head - which doesn’t match the sides, mind you - is a cross between Frankenstein, Alfred E. Neuman and a black lacquer floor. Moving on, fan favorite Sam Jones makes a very brief (one scene) appearance, and looks highly uncomfortable. He also has an unexplained bearded biker dude as his sidekick. So many questions, so few answers. There’s minimal Jones, minimal Divoff and minimal Carradine. Carradine does a “sit-down” role and both he and Busey don’t appear until 51 minutes in.

Nick Gleem, as the sidekick, and who adds “like the toothpaste!” every time he introduces himself, ends up being called simply “Toothpaste” as his nickname. Not to be confused with “Speedboat” from Snake Eater II (1989). In the “awesome urban compound word nickname” awards, Toothpaste has the wackier hat, so we’ll give him the prize. And, unrelated to Mr. Toothpaste, as in Direct Contact (2009) when someone says “What if he goes AOL?” here, in Down N’ Dirty, someone says “Get it to me SAP”. Either this guy is REALLY in a hurry, so much so he has no time for the initial “A”, or maybe he wants to use his TV remote to watch his favorite shows in Spanish, but like a lot of things in this movie, it remains unexplained.

Besides Fred’s screen presence and a cast of familiar faces, the other thing that keeps this movie afloat is the music. By Johnny Ross (some songs are credited to J.R. and Li’l Big - we assume J.R. is Johnny Ross), the standouts are the main title theme and “Come Back Dak”. It sounds like it could be the same singers who sang “Dakota Smith - You‘re 12 Steps Away”, from Night Vision, but we’re not sure. We love the idea that Fred Williamson has his own personal singers who are on call for him at any time. Hopefully that is the case. Supposedly, the legendary Volt label released the soundtrack, and the main title features the line “If you’re on the take, you made a big mistake”, so it might be well worth finding. You don’t hear lyrics like that every day. More top 40 hits should be about systemic inter-office police corruption.

There is plenty to enjoy here for Fred fans such as ourselves...and for non-Fred fans: what’s wrong with you? Become a Fred fan.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

South Beach (1993)

South Beach (1993)-* *1\2

Directed by: Fred Williamson

Starring: Fred Williamson, Gary Busey, Vanity, Peter Fonda, Isabel Sanford, Henry Silva, Frank Pesce, Sam Jones, and Robert Forster





 “I can breathe underwater, turnip head.” - Gary Busey






Mack Derringer (Fred) has an awesome name and used to play football. His partner Lenny is also an ex-pro player and now they’re private eyes in South Beach, Florida. And that, if the movie’s tagline is to be believed, is “the world’s deadliest strip of sand”. Mack’s latest adventure involves his ex-wife, Maxine (Vanity), who now runs “Maxine’s Services”, which seems to be some sort of phone sex operation. When a mysterious voice on the phone who calls himself “Billy” starts making threats, Mack snaps into action. As if his partner Lenny wasn’t enough, Mack calls on the services of Jake (Fonda) to help him find his way through the South Beach underworld. But Det. Coleman (Forster) doesn’t trust Mack and seems to be following his every move. But at least Mack’s mother, Mama (Sanford) is proud of him and doesn’t hesitate to tell anyone who will listen. After getting a tip from a rapper named Too Kool (Ross), Mack gets to the real heavies such as Santiago (Silva) and a man named Billy (Jones) - but is it the same Billy that’s been harassing Maxine? Mack Derringer will have to use all the power of his name to get to the truth behind this web of crime and deception. Can he do it?

If the above plot description sounds like a confusing mishmash, that’s because that’s pretty much what South Beach is. Fred is able to get amazing casts for his movies, and in finding a place for everyone, sometimes forgets about coherency. South Beach also has somewhat of a sillier tone than a lot of other Freds we’ve seen, and the end result, while not bad, is likely to not really satisfy anyone except die-hard fans of anyone involved with the production, and only viewers familiar with Fred’s style of filmmaking will be able to glean anything from this movie.

Fred’s array of great jackets is noteworthy, as is he and Busey’s round of what can only be described as “Zany Golf” at the beginning of the film. As in the later Night Vision (1997), Robert Forster plays a cop who yells at Fred. It’s basically the same thing here. There was very minimal Henry Silva - by the time his part in the movie rolled around, he was squeezed out by all the other actors in this broth. And after we were finished pondering why Peter Fonda, as well as his ponytail/mustache combination, were involved in the first place, we got to the rapper Too Kool, not to be confused with Too Short, and another brief Sam Jones appearance. But at least with Jones, there’s a fight, instead of him standing around awkwardly as he does in fellow Fred film Down ‘n Dirty (2001). But all the names in the cast distract from the amazing goons in this movie. We don’t know their names, but we all should. They outshine most of the cast, and they do it in their own lovable way: simply by being humble men, overweight men squeezed into tweed jackets, with mullets and Vuarnet sunglasses. God bless the goons, the unsung heroes of the crime movie world.

As for the DVD we viewed, it’s one of those cheapo gas station jobs and is of very low quality. It’s actually blurry, and we were told in the late 90’s DVD’s would never be blurry. The VHS is of far better quality. However, this particular disc is a double feature with the Mario Van Peebles film South Bronx Heroes (1985), and clearly this DVD company was catering to movie fans just clamoring to complete their “South” movie collections. But, in direct contradiction to that, according to the menu screen, the movie is called “Sonth Bronx Heroes”. You read that right. SONTH. How you screw up the title of the movie on the menu screen of your own DVD, we’ll never know, especially such an easy word like “South”. Either that, or the movie is referring to the heroes of an area of New York City that we’ve never heard of before.

South Beach is kind of a weird outing for Fred, yet also oddly typical of some of his other work. As Survivor once sang when they were surely referring to this movie, “It’s the paradox that drives us all”.

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty


Thank you to DTVC for the hotlink to the cover! Here is his review too.

Lady Dragon 2 (1993)

Lady Dragon 2 (1993)-* *1\2

Directed by: David Worth

Starring: Cynthia Rothrock, Billy Drago, George Rudy, Bella Esperance, and Sam Jones












Susan Morgan (Rothrock) has a happy life: she has a career as a successful female boxer, and her husband Sonny (Rudy) is a soccer star who plays for Jakarta. They live in a beautiful house, and they have a maid/friend, Sari (Esperance) who helps them out. But their lives are turned upside down when a gang of three thugs, led by the psychotic Diego (Drago) (his right hand man is Reb, played by Sam Jones) temporarily stash their stolen diamonds in their luggage at random, in order to evade detection, as well as cops, with the intention of picking them up later at their house. They do indeed show up at the Morgan residence, but Sonny claims he doesn’t know where the diamonds are. After some unpleasant events, as well as some twists and turns, Susan decides to go after the baddies one by one and deal with them in her own way. Will she survive? And will her husband live to Socc again?

We all know Billy Drago plays a bad guy 99% of the time, but here he outdoes himself, putting in an especially creepy, scary and weird performance. As his sidekick, interestingly named Reb, Sam Jones can’t really hold a candle to it, but for an excellent Sam Jones baddie performance, check out In Gold We Trust (1991). Also, Cynthia Rothrock puts in one of her most powerful and emotional performances. One of the main problems, however, with Lady Dragon 2, is that it is very repetitive. There are so many scenes of Drago saying “I want the diamonds” and Rothrock saying “No”, you can’t help but think that maybe the structure of the plot could have gone another way. Considering the movie as a whole could have used some more Martial Arts fights, it would have made sense to have Cynthia fight more goons. But it doesn’t quite work that way here.

Director David Worth, who in a row directed Soldier’s Revenge (1984), Kickboxer (1989), Lady Dragon (1992), Lady Dragon 2, and Chain of Command (1994), allows some interesting touches, such as the fact that Drago’s gang wear shiny Jason-style hockey masks, and Sam Jones wears his with sunglasses. He even adds some horror movie-style touches at times to keep things lively, but the aforementioned repetition hurts things. With tighter writing and direction, and maybe a bit more energy and pep, and with less repetition and a shorter running time, Lady Dragon 2 could have been awesome - like a DTV action version of I Spit On Your Grave (1978). Alas, it wasn’t to be. And to add insult to injury, there are some very cheesily animated muzzle flashes during the gunplay scenes. You can’t help but wish for a little better this time around.

We remain huge Rothrock fans, but we wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re just starting to watch her movies yourself, or want to turn a friend on to her work. For that we’d go with Honor and Glory (1993) or Angel of Fury (1991). If you want to watch this one later on, fine, but we wouldn’t start with it.

Also check out write-ups by our buddies Explosive Action and DTVC!

Comeuppance Review by: Brett and Ty

Ballistic (1995)

Ballistic (1995)-* * *

Directed by: Kim Bass

Starring: Marjean Holden, Sam Jones, Cory Everson, Richard Roundtree, James Lew, Robert Miano Michael Jai White, and Charles Napier



“Maybe you should try Nintendo!”- Claudia






Jesse Gavin (Holden) is a tough female cop who is highly effective and dedicated. She works for an elite squad known as UCT to take down all the slime on the seamy side of Hollywood. As if this wasn’t enough, she has to deal with sexism on the force, not the least of which comes from associate Woo (Lew) and his buddies. Her Captain, Underwood (Napier) is sympathetic, especially because her father, Harold (Roundtree) was framed and put in prison for twenty years. 

 It seems the source of most of her - as well as the city’s - misery comes from one man, the arrogant, smarmy jerkface known as Nick Braden (Jones). Braden is a “businessman” who has his fingers in every illegal activity you can name. He even sends out his girlfriend, Claudia (Everson) to enforce for him (keep in mind she’s more muscular than most men). Not only that, he stages illegal Punchfighting matches for the amusement of him and his buddies, using Quint (White) as one of his preferred fighters. When Jesse is blamed for some of Braden’s bad deeds, she teams up with the people she trusts most to bring him down. Will she succeed?

Ballistic is classic 90’s video-store action through and through. It has a solid B-movie cast of familiar names, and even tries to put a “sexy” spin on things that would make it right at home on the Cinemax of the day. It has all the action and cliches ("It’s an election year!", etc.) we know and love. Sure, it has some awkward dialogue and a few awkwardly-staged fight scenes, but so what? That’s to be expected and we’re not interested in perfection. Plus it was director Bass’ first feature film.

James Lew gave a lot to the action movie of the 90’s, and here he is again, this time sporting an impressive ponytail. Richard Roundtree is in prison again, just like in Bloodfist 3 (1992). His role as Jesse’s father is one of the better ones in the movie. Charles Napier does a quasi-sit-down role as the Captain. Sam Jones puts in his second-most evil performance (next to In Gold We Trust, how could he ever top that?). Robert Miano is in pretty much everything and here he appears in a small role as one of Braden’s buddies.

Cory Everson almost steals the movie as Claudia, putting in a muscular and well-defined performance (yuk yuk). As for the star of the show, Marjean Holden, she could have been the Pam Grier of the 90’s. Or the action movie Halle Berry. She carries the movie well and makes a good hero. It was great seeing her go rogue, and she should have done more work like this. But the real star of the show is the green, angry-looking punching bag with its arms out ready to attack you. “Punchy”, as he is no doubt nicknamed, deserved a bigger and better career.

It was nice to see some surprise Punchfighting, we weren’t expecting that. Braden is so evil, he doesn’t even invite a “select clientele” to view the fighting, it’s just himself and a few of his friends. Also he has a license plate that says “BRADEN”. In case there was any doubt, that’s how you KNOW he’s evil. It was nice to see Michael Jai White in an early role. Sure, he couldn’t hope to save Universal Soldier: The Return (1999), but here you can truly see his fighting prowess.  

In an interesting coincidence, both Holden and Napier starred together in the Punchfighting episode of the TV show Renegade. As for the gunplay, the sounds used and the muzzle flashes are pretty weak and laughable. It looks like toy cap guns. But again, it’s more about the spirit than the technical issues.

As for the tape itself, it was released by Imperial Entertainment. We’re taking an educated guess that it was a fairly limited release, because this tape is rare and not often seen in video stores. The tape we were able to view wasn’t of the best quality, and maybe that’s why.  Perhaps Imperial got gun-shy and tamped down the number of copies they released to stores.

Thankfully, it’s all done with a sense of humor, which makes Ballistic definitely entertaining and watchable.

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

In Gold We Trust (1991)

In Gold We Trust (1991)-* * *1\2

Directed by: P. Chalong

Starring: Jan-Michael Vincent, Sherrie Rose, Christoph Kluppel, and Sam Jones

Maniacal mercenary Jeff Slater (Jones), and his right-hand man Christoph (Kluppel)lead a band of baddies to Thailand to try and retrieve a cache of gold bars hidden in what looks like a miniature NASA spacecraft. Also after the gold is Slater’s former ‘Nam buddy Oliver Moss (Vincent). Moss takes his right-hand gal Debbie (Rose) along with him and his gang. But there’s going to be plenty of conflicts and competition, not even amongst the two groups vying for the treasure, but from local soldiers, as well as a battalion of Japanese warriors hidden in a Thai cave (????). He who has the gold makes the rules...who will rule?

This movie is so great! It ranks among the best work of P. Chalong, the best work of Jan-Michael Vincent, the best work of Sherrie Rose, the best work of AIP, the best work of Christoph Kluppel and by far the best work of Sam Jones. All in one convenient movie! How can you lose?

P. Chalong has directed six movies in his career and we’ve seen three of them to date - Gold Raiders (1983), The Lost Idol (1990), and this. Sadly, it was his last movie, because he’d finally fulfilled his potential as a director and given us the P. Chalong that we’ve always wanted to see, if that makes any sense. He seems to be the only guy out there willing to hire the under-used Christoph - who, in true Tony Danza fashion only plays dudes named Christoph - but for some reason is dubbed with a Russian accent. He’s a member of the team of baddies that includes a guy that looks like an 80’s-era Weird Al, and a Tommy Chong-like man as well. Truly these are the villains that will strike fear in your heart. On the hero side we have Sherrie Rose, who hails from our home state of Connecticut. She can certainly hold her own with all the testosterone around. And fan favorite JMV - even though it was the 90’s at this point - still wears his sunglasses at night in true Corey Hart fashion, as well has his Member’s Only jacket and childlike hair part. Witness as he mispronounces the word “Laos” - but even still, he doesn’t seem that drunk this time around. Whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you.

But, ladies and gentlemen, no one can even come close to Sam Jones in this, the role of his lifetime. Jones, playing a baddie (which is rare for him) seizes the opportunity with gusto. He’s at his absolute best as he chews the scenery to shreds with hyped-up abandon. It’s over the top in the best sense of the word, even a John Miller (From Honor and Glory, 1993)-like performance. It’s beyond a tour-de-force. It’s a tour-de-France as he attempts to lead his horde of highly-questionable antagonists to victory. Sam Jones in this movie is enough to warrant a purchase.

Adding to the silliness/weirdness (besides everything else) is the Godzilla movie-like dubbing of the Thai actors, the George W. Bush-like Texan “John Point” who appears in the beginning of the film, JMV shooting a missile launcher in mid-air from a parachute (it’s in the trailer so it’s not a spoiler) and plenty of other great, rewindable moments, which are normally so rare. This is truly one of the best Exploding Hut movies we’ve yet seen, it really transcends the genre. But when buying this movie, don’t confuse it with the 2010 release of the same name. Obviously the people who made that one are film-illiterate because they’ve never heard of P. Chalong! Chalong was the first one to cleverly add a simple “L” to the famous inscription on our currency. We miss you, P. We really do.

For releasing this movie, this is why we’re always touting AIP. We give them props. In Gold We Trust is so much fun, and now, finally, Jeff Slater can go in the pantheon of great movie villains. We recommend this movie highly!

Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Expert Weapon (1993)

Expert Weapon (1993)-*1\2 

AKA: American Dragon

Directed by: Steven Austin

Starring: Ian Jacklin, Sam Jones, Judy Landers, and Joe Estevez











Expert Weapon, or "Ew" for short, concerns Adam Collins (Jacklin), a small-time criminal with a big attitude problem who kills a police officer and is sent to the gas chamber to die for his crime. Before he kicks the bucket, he is recruited by Janson (Jones) to be a covert assassin. According to Janson, he has "killer instincts that run deep". Collins must train to be an assassin from the ground up. He learns all the tricks of the trade, including how to read and write (Collins is illiterate). He also learns martial arts, and, most importantly he goes to drama school. The "drama school" segment of the film takes up a huge chunk of the running time. After Janson sends Collins on some missions with some chintzy effects, he falls in love with the drama teacher Lynn (Judy Landers). He is eventually marked for death by his own covert team. Will he escape with his life, love and newfound acting skills intact?

Expert Weapon has cheap production values and sound effects. Jacklin looks like a cross between Stephen Dorff and Casper Van Dien, and in the acting department, he makes Matt McColm look like Laurence Olivier. In a career of direct-to-video releases, fan-favorite Sam Jones is slumming with this one. Joe Estevez stops by as a weapons expert, and puts in a bugged-out performance. He has a high energy level here, and the movie sags without him. When your movie NEEDS MORE JOE ESTEVEZ, you have a problem.

On one of Collins' missions with his crew, before there is an explosion, Collins warns "Let's not make this another World Trade Center, alright?" That was topical then, and very prophetic. Jones calls this explosion a "Chinese fire drill".

During the huge "improv" section of the movie, Collins must work with a crew of aspiring actors. There's Burton, Robinson and Kane. Burton looks like a Black Erik Estrada. Art imitates life when Collins says to his teacher: "I'm no actor", "I don't read no lines!" and the Maury Povich classic "You don't know me!" Collins/Jacklin literally has to learn to act right before our eyes. When an improv session with the mustachioed Robinson goes sour and Collins leaves the class in a huff, Collins is then tortured by being strapped to a gurney and having a rat placed on him. Collins says, in a very funny and wooden manner "aaaah, get this rat off me, aaaah". Next time don't call your dad a "rummy".

We want to see action, not acting class. The movie, like the chase scenes, goes around in circles.

Disjointed and bargain-basement, you basically wait for Expert Weapon to end. This "Weapon" is a dud. Be an Expert and avoid this one today.


Comeuppance Review by: Ty and Brett

Fists Of Iron (1995)

Fists Of Iron (1995)-* * *

AKA: Enter The Shootfighter

Directed by: Richard W. Munchkin

Starring: Michael Worth, Sam Jones, Nick Hill, Eric Lee, and Matthias Hues










Dale Hartwell (Worth) is an easygoing mechanic and single father with some impressive fighting skills. One day his friend Matt (Nick Hill) takes him to a ritzy mansion where "Peter Gallagher's All-Stars" (not related to the awesomely-eyebrowed actor\singer), fight in a backyard ring for big money cash prizes. Matt foolishly thinks he can go two minutes in the ring with hulking super-brute Victor "The Destroyer" Bragg (the always charming Hues). Bragg has the most arrogant name since Trevor Gottitall from American Shaolin: King of the Kickboxers II (1991). If you're the Victor, ya gotta Bragg.

Sadly, Matt dies of internal injuries and a heartbroken Dale vows retribution. So like C.J Thunderbird in Fist Fighter (1989) wanted a piece of "Rhino" (Hues), Dale wants a piece of Bragg (Hues).

Thankfully, Dale hangs out at the local watering hole, also frequented by Daniel & Tyler (Lee and Jones respectively), two former fighters with a history with Gallagher. They train Dale to take on the reigning champ in a series of montages. To get revenge for Matt, Dale must go up the ranks. (Dale fights the usual "Boxcar Joes", "Barts", and "Butchys" and the like at the CAR-U-RENT trucking stop). Add to this a ridiculous love triangle and the end result is pure Iron Gold.


There is a lot to love about Fists Of Iron: It has a lot more heart and character development than your average punchfighter. The main protagonists Worth, Jones and Lee are all likable and you care about their mission. Jones and Lee make a great comic team and there is a lot of humor in the film as a whole. (i.e. the subplot about a meathead refusing to pay for his fixed motor). Hues plays the evil villain with aplomb. (mid-film they change his name to Victor "The Giant" Bragg). Jones looks like Chuck Norris with his beard and wisdom. Every male in the movie except for Eric Lee has a square head. Where was Howie Long when you needed him?

Taking a cue from Shootfighter II (1995), Gallagher's fighters have their own pants. They are blue with white polka dots. The ring announcer screams (with no microphone) "Let's get ready to rumble!" Michael Buffer charges five million dollars to say this. This is copyright infringement and the filmmakers might be hearing from Buffer's lawyers soon. As for the softer sides of the movie, Worth looks way too young to have a daughter that looks about 12 years old herself. He looks 16 at best. As for the love interest, she is not very attractive and it's not believable that she would be the focal point of a love triangle between Dale and Gallagher. They should have gotten Shannon Tweed, Shannon Whirry, Joan Severance, Angie Everhart, or someone of that ilk to play the part.

In the one of the montages, Dale has to pick up a boulder from one of the many boulders in Tyler and Daniel's front yard. Then it's "Meathead in the stone" as Dale tries to be the chosen one. It is like The Karate Kid (1984), but interestingly, there are two Mr. Miyagis training him.

Richard W. Muchkin knows how to make a quality punchfighter. Just see Ring Of Fire (1991) for more evidence of his talent.

A cut above the average meathead flick, we recommend "Fists Of Iron".


Comeuppance Review by: Ty & Brett

Whiteforce (1988)

Whiteforce (1988)-*1\2

Directed by: Eddie Romero

Starring: Sam Jones, Timothy Hughes, Ken Metcalfe, Jaime Fabregas and Vic Diaz









Johnny Quinn (Jones) is a guy with a cool bomber jacket who is in North Thailand to get some answers. People think he killed his former partner, Tom Irving (Metcalfe). He is innocent, and meanwhile the evil Alex Korda (Hughes), a businessman intent on making big profits off the sale of narcotics, wants Quinn out of the way. After a location change to Manila, the authorities and Korda's men are after him. So Quinn teams up with Tom's daughter and the token wacky computer nerd named Wizard (Fabregas) to save the day. Apparently all the valuable information is on a tiny "laserdisc" which looks like a little cymbal. Will Quinn and his 2-person team prevail?

Honestly, Whiteforce is pretty standard fare. Sam Jones has been in better movies, such as Maximum Force (1992). His unshaven charm provides help to this ailing actioner. He keeps weapons in the heel of his boot and would sooner shoot someone than give up his classic jacket.

The idea of "corporate narcotics" is interesting, but it's all kind of muddled with things like the "International Security Alliance" and "Ambrack International". The viewer's interest begins to wane, and a bunch of shooting doesn't really help that much. Neither does the goofy music.

Unfortunately, Whiteforce resembles Down Twisted (1987). The team up of Jones and the girl in a foreign land, on the run, has a similar ambiance.

Vic Diaz turns up as one of the baddies, and "Indiana" Sam Jones is invented because of the popularity of that Spielberg classic. It even mentions it on the back of the VHS box. Speaking of which, you don't have to look too closely to see Sam Jones' head pasted on someone else's body. This happened to Jones again with Driving Force (1989). It's pretty funny that companies like his head, but not his body. Hopefully that didn't give him a complex of some sort.

In all, Whiteforce is paint-by-numbers and somewhat tedious going, buoyed to a certain extent by the lovable Jones.

Comeuppance review by: Brett & Ty